PLEASE NOTE: THIS IS A SPOILER-RICH ZONE. If your diet requires you to dine on television spoiler-free ... good luck with that.


Monday, September 17, 2018

Elementary, My Dear Wallace

Episode 2.21: Happy Go Lucky. Original Airdate 5.02.06

"As Aaron Echolls's trial is about to conclude, tensions rise as Veronica, Keith and Logan take the witness stand to testify against him. Meanwhile, after Veronica finds a suspicious e-mail in Woody's computer, Keith turns to Lamb with evidence to arrest Woody, but Lamb refuses, believing that Keith is trying to turn him into a laughing stock. Also, to everyone's surprise, Lucky brings a gun into school with the intent to find Gia."

Daniel's Thoughts:

  • And it’s time for Aaron Echoll’s trial.  And he’s totally playing it up for the jury and they’re totally buying it.
  • Wow, and he’s really claiming that he didn’t have sex with Lilly.  Follow-up from the previous episode when lawyer asked Veronica about his relationship with Lilly.
  • Duncan is being set-up and he’s not even here to defend himself.
  • “Easy Going Veronica Mars – that’s what the kids at school call me.”
  • It’s nice that they remember that Gia & Veronica are in health class together.
  • Also, it’s nice to finally see Veronica actually studying – the thing I always get on her case about.
  • Oh crap.  Gun shots.  It’s Lucky The Janitor.
  • And good-guy without a gun, Wallace tackles Lucky to the ground.  He shoots at Wallace, but the gun is full of blanks.  The security guard’s aren’t.  He shoots Lucky dead and fuck, this is going to be really traumatic for the kids at Neptune High.
  • “Nobody likes a blonde in a Hamster Ball.”
  • “Why should you break in when I’m invited?” – This should be on the Mars family crest.
  • They’re actually showing Jackie a lot these finally few episodes.  That’s nice.
  • Oh hey, it’s Beaver.  I mean, they should show him once or twice before the finale.
  • Aww, MySpace mention.  Remember them?  I’m so old I used to be on Friendster.
  • And we/Veronica finally sees how Woody Goodman is a really horrid person…and how he might be connected to the bus crash.  Except Veronica doesn’t recognize the voices yet.
  • And Veronica is being sworn in.  This is always nerve-wracking.

  • And the prosecutor is totally slut-shaming Veronica now, and the judge is allowing it and it’s totally gross.
  • Aww, Mac is helping out Weevil and Beav – even though neither of them really deserve it – especially Beav.
  • I don’t really understand why Keith is going to Woody with this before going to the police.
  • I know I’m late to the game of realizing this – but has Jackie been living by herself for like the last six months with no guardian?
  • Damn, they’re really trying to tarnish Veronica’s reputation to get Aaron off and it’s really super gross.
  • “If I get you an A, will you shiv him?” - Mac
  • “Is your ego really that enormous that you can turn the murder of 8 people about you?”  - Yeah that pretty much sums up Lamb.
  • I love the Weevil passing Algebra is a major plotpoint in the penultimate episode of Season 2.
  • And oh no.  Just as Weevil passes Algebra, he’s being pegged in a crime.
  • Wallace: “It was worth getting taped to a pole…”  Awww.
  • Instead of starting her final, Veronica books it to the trial.  Which is very irresponsible of her…considering how important getting the Kane scholarship is to her.  There’s no need for her to be at the trial.   And especially to find out that Aaron has been acquitted on all counts.

Zelda's Thoughts:

  • We open on Aaron Echolls. We open on talking garbage.
  • AND HE IS LYING. LYING. lying sack of shit, claiming he never had sex with Lilly, claiming he broke up with her, saying Duncan "probably" killed her. I hate him, I hate him so much.
  • I thought witnesses weren't allowed to watch other people's testimony if they haven't testified yet? Did I make that up? Is that just something I mistakenly picked up from other TV shows?
  • V has everything riding on acing her finals so she can get the Kane scholarship and go to Stanford. Since we know the future, we know this will somehow go wrong. She walks out on a final or something, right? Something heartbreaking.
  • Shit, I forgot about the gun. Fuck. This is. This is not something good. And probably not something they would be able to do like this now, with the frightening increase in school shootings.
  • Shit, and when Lucky aims the gun at Wallace after Wallace tackled him. Fucking terrifying.
  • And then the school guard shoots Lucky dead.
  • I don't have anything funny to say.
  • Woody reveals that Lucky was a bat boy for something or other - a clue to the ultimate reveal
  • Woody's password is "mrgoodwood" ew ew
  • Rando: Hey Veronica. // V: Hey ... you. // Rando: Hart. // V & Me: yeah we've never seen this dude before (except IMDB says he's been on the show before, so--ah, he's the one who had the film of Logan's mother jumping off the bridge)
  • gasp V found an audio recording, of the boys talking about what Woody did to them! if only we can figure out the voices on the recording
  • Also why was the subject heading about preventing the incorporation? Is this really just about Beaver's company?
  • Woody, being the Uber Creeper "Are you as smart as you think you are?"
  • I'm amazed he's being chill (well except for the creeperness) with V, considering what's been going on between him and Keith
  • Ohhh the one who sent the tape edited himself out of the tape
  • EW EW EW EW EW Aaron is claiming Veronica propositioned him? EW EW EW EW
  • I do like that V figured out how to help both Beaver and Weevil with their problems - scratched car and passing Algebra - and matchmade them. Although ... they're not gelling well.
  • But Mac chimes in and is the best and I love her hi Mac please become a season regular.
  • ew though this is also so she and Beaver can rekindle, just so we can hurt her more
  • "I'm not a fifteen year old boy, Woody. You don't scare me." man I can't wait for Woody to go down.
love Keith so much

  • Aw Terrence is finally free! Thanks Leonard Lobo!
  • Oh but Lobo is here to tell us just how he wants his thanks. With Terrence glad handing all his casino patrons for the next decade, until his debt is repaid
  • I just. I don't understand this and I never will. I don't understand why they don't get to testify to what they saw, but instead are told what lies Aaron said, and are asked questions as if that were the fact. It makes me want to vomit.
  • And I hate that this shithead Lavoie provoked Keith enough that he assaults him in court.
  • GASP V figured out that it's not the bat boys for the Sharks that Woody assaulted (well, not just them), but also Woody's little league team also called the Sharks - and several of the bus crash victims were players.
  • I'm confused. It seems like Jackie's also lying to Terrence about the Sorbonne (knowing the future is rough). Wouldn't he know she can't afford it, and that she'd actually just be going back to her mom? Or was that not a lie, and she was going to go to the Sorbonne before Terrence lost his fame and fortune?
  • And then fucking Lamb, embarrassed several times over when trying to find the person who caused the bus crash, won't act on Keith's evidence that Woody is a serial predator and could also be the one behind the bus crash (though he isn't).
  • Oh man, Weevil just wants to to pass algebra, make his grandma proud.
  • And just in time, the boys who saw Weevil when he knocked out Thumper have come forward, now that Thumper's remains have been found.
  • "You better enjoy this, because this is as nostalgic as I get. I just wanted to say, it was worth getting taped to a pole. Gonna miss ya." // "And my stupid ass face?" Aw babies.

  • And now it's time for V to sabotage her final exam and a chance at the scholarship and Stanford - because she wants to see the verdict in person. And it's the wrong verdict. I hate this. Everything is garbage.
  • Meanwhile, Woody fled on a private plane.
  • BUT SERIOUSLY HOW DID AARON NOT GET CONVICTED FOR ANYTHING. Even putting aside his tap dancing evidence around Lilly, he assaulted both Marses. 


D: We should have had a stat for how many grown men sexually objectify teenage girls. It happens so much on this show.
Z: But then our stats would break.
D: It's so gross.

Favorite Lines:

Daniel: Easy Going Veronica Mars – that’s what the kids at school call me.  - Veronica

Zelda: "It was worth getting taped to a pole." - Wallace


Neptune Roll Call: Wallace, Logan, Weevil, Beaver, Jackie (Absent: Duncan, Dick)
Recurring: Aaron Echolls, Ethan Lavoie, Gia Goodman, Lucky, Woody Goodman, Mrs. Goodman, Terrence Cook, Hart, Sheriff Don Lamb, Deputy Jerry Sacks, Leonard Lobo, Mac, Rodney Goodman


Dead Humans - 1
Backup Sighting - 0
Veronica Breaks In - 0
Veronica Tases Someone - 0
Mac Hacks - 0
Who's Your Daddy? - 0
Wallace Does Veronica a Favor - 0
Veronica Wants a Pony - 0
Logan Punches Someone - 0
Dick's Single Entendres - 0
Shenanigans Called - 0

Tuesday, August 28, 2018

Marshmallows and Promises

Episode 2.20: Look Who's Stalking. Original Airdate 4.25.06

"Gia is convinced she's being stalked, so Veronica takes the case despite her dad's orders not to get involved, but what she discovers not only shocks both girls, but leads to further questions. Meanwhile, Woody enlists Keith's help in avoiding a scandal when he ends up with a passed-out woman in his motel room. Also, when Principal Clemmons cancels the prom because of drinking violations on the senior trip, Logan takes it upon himself to throw an "alterna-prom" in his Neptune Grand suite."

Zelda's Thoughts:

  • Oh right. Veronica has chlamydia. That's a thing they decided to do. Also, fuck you Beaver
  • Wallace and Jackie are being adorable at least.
  • Poor Mac. But on the plus side, two Mac eps in a row! yay!
  • Clemmons cancelled prom. Mac: "Yes! Prayer works!"
  • Woody, you are the worst of the worst and I don't believe anything you're saying about the unconscious girl in your motel bed.
  • I wish Keith wasn't helping him. Especially since it's gonna bite him in the ass later.
  • Headcanon that Gia coming to ask for Veronica's help with her stalker is what sends her on her path to becoming Jessica Jones, P.I. Especially since it's about stalking
  • "Like Trouble with a capital T that rhymes with C that stands for--" // "Veronica."
  • Keith singsonging "I don't believe you" is my favorite
  • Gia: "I feel like at any moment Tom Cruise is gonna dangle from the ceiling on cables." // V: "Great. Now I won't be able to sleep." And THEN: "There! That's the car. Isn't it totally nondescript?" // "That's a 2002 silver Gallant." man, the banter this ep
  • gasp! it's Leo's car. oh right, this plot
  • "There was this one girl. She was blonde, petite, smelled of marshmallows and promises." // "Promises - that's the name of my perfume!" my ship, it is flirting

  • Logan's throwing an alternaprom! I wonder if he'll drunkenly confess that he still loves Veronica and deliver a speech about epicness.
  • Yep, Woody's pretending the unconscious girl was Keith's fault. He's the worst, and we don't even know the full extent of his worstness yet.
  • Wuh oh. Another stalkery dvd of the Goodman family. Whatcha doing, Beaver?
  • hahahah now Corny knows about alternaprom and it will therefore be the best
  • it's kind of sweet that Jackie and Terrence finally seem to have some kind of relationship
  • Veronica to Gia, who got the other video camera: "You just might have a future in this racket." FORESHADOWING
  • "Woody's scared of something, and he's lying about it, and it's serious." You have no idea, Keith.
  • oh look it's our friendly janitor Lucky! and he drives a red pickup truck! gasp a la gasp!
  • Lucky to Gia: "I know your dad, you know." sigh
  • time for the partay!
  • Logan's in white, Veronica's in black, and Logan is giggling nervously at her. Methinks our ship is returning to port. Or is it that the ship is sailing again? One of the things.

  • It is tiiiiiiime for the scene. "I thought our story was epic, you know? You and me ... Spanning years and continents. Lives ruined, bloodshed, epic. But summer's almost here. And we won't see each other at all. Then you'll leave town, then ... it's over ..."
  • And he finally apologizes for what a douche he became over the summer.
  • Jason Dohring, acting the shit out of this, holding back tears, drunk but earnest. "No one writes songs about the ones that come easy."
  • And V almost lets him kiss her, but then she runs away.
  • sigh. And Terrence Cook's rep is officially destroyed, with a headline outing when he threw the game
  • And now it's time for Kristen Bell to break our hearts, as Logan breaks hers.
  • Oh man, Logan's face, confused and worried and hungover and scared - he claims he doesn't remember but we find out later he does. But also he hooked up with Kendall after V fled.
  • Everybody cry.

Daniel's Thoughts: 

  • Holy crap.  Veronica has Chlamydia which is not a flower, Gia.
  • It’s Prom time at Neptune High.  Except, oops – Prom got  cancelled.  At least Mac is happy.  Veronica has no horse in this race.
  • Woody got caught with a (female) dead prostitute?
  • Aww, Gia is so dumb.  She doesn’t get Veronica’s irony.
  • Who belongs to those sexy legs in Keith’s office.  It’s Charisma Cordelia Casablancs Banks Chase. [Hey, her name is my name, too! - Z]
  • We should have statted how many times Veronica uses “school project” as a lie/excuse.
  • “How very Mission Impossible.  I feel like any moment Tom Cruise is gonna dangle from the ceiling on cables” “Great. Now I won't be able to sleep. I hope he doesn't try to marry me.”
  • Gia’s a total fan of Veronica Mars.  She’s in awe.  Gia is all of us.
  • Leo D’Amato!  “Greek Italian” according to Veronica.  Nah, Max Greenfield is my Jewish Boyfriend.
  • I still find it weird that half of these ‘regulars’ are never in the show.
  • ‘Alterna-Prom’ isn’t usually made by the rich kids – it’s usually about gay kids who aren’t allowed to bring dates to their proms.
  • So Leo’s no longer a cop, because he stole evidence….so now personal security
  • “Cute in a tough mumbly kinda way” – That’s our Leo!  (also totally my type.)  That should be my Tinder Profile title: Billy Eichner type ISO Max Greenfield type.
  • Wallace wants to go to the batting cages instead of Prom.  What?
  • Veronica to Gia “You might have a future in this racket”   She has about ten years. *spoilers*
  • Dick’s going STAG to alterna-prom.  What happened to Madison?
  • “Woody’s scared about something and he’s lying about it” – Yep.
  • Aww, this is the second time Veronica’s calling Keith for help.  It’s nice to see them working together.
  • “Do you want to see something freaky?”  If a strange guy asks you that?  The answer is always no.
  • Oh there’s Madison.
  • Lol. Corny’s wearing a tuxedo shirt.

  • I really dig the white tux on Logan.
  • “I know it’s weird to force someone to go to prom with you.”  Um, ‘weird’ isn’t the word I'd use.  The sentiment is nice.  Mac and Butters are both weird folk and maybe in this crazy world -  Nope.  It’s just wrong.
  • Kristen Bell & Jason Dohring can show so much without words.  It’s nice.  The flirtation is great between them.
  • “I thought our story was epic, you know.  You and me.”  Everyone remembers this Logan line.
  • “You really think a relationship should be that hard?” “No one writes songs about the ones that are easy” – another great Logan line.  
  • Aww, Jackie & Wallace are gonna do it.
  • Lucky was just about to spill the beans on Woody Goodman – and of course Lamb had to ruin it.
  • Logan is hungover when Veronica comes to visit him after thinking about things.  And Logan is shirtless opening his penthouse door and of course someone will be there…  It’s Kendall of course.  But what’s worse is Logan doesn’t remember all the nice things he said the night before.
  • Veronica crying is the saddest.


D: Oh no, it's Leo! He's stalking Gia?
Z: I think he's been hired to look after her.
D: Dont' spoil it! I haven't seen it!
Z: ... yes you have!

D: But I don't remember things!

Gia: I just don't get you people!
D: "You people"?
Z: Blondes.

Favorite Lines 

Zelda: "I thought our story was epic, you know? You and me ... Spanning years and continents. Lives ruined, bloodshed, epic. But summer's almost here. And we won't see each other at all. Then you'll leave town, then ... it's over ..." - Logan (I couldn't not)
Daniel: Gia:
“How very Mission Impossible.  I feel like any moment Tom Cruise is gonna dangle from the ceiling on cables” Veronica: “Great. Now I won't be able to sleep. I hope he doesn't try to marry me.”


Neptune Roll Call: Wallace, Logan, Dick, Jackie (Absent: Duncan, Weevil, Beaver)
Recurring: Mac, Woody Goodman, Gia Goodman, Leo D'Amato, Rodney Goodman, Lloyd Blankenship, Corny, Terrence Cook, Mr. Wu, Lucky, Sheriff Don Lamb, Madison Sinclair, Vincent "Butters" Clemmons, Kendall Casablancas


Dead Humans - 0
Backup Sighting - 0
Veronica Breaks In - 0
Veronica Tases Someone - 0
Mac Hacks - 0
Who's Your Daddy? - 0
Wallace Does Veronica a Favor - 0
Veronica Wants a Pony - 0
Logan Punches Someone - 0
Dick's Single Entendres - 1 "Speaking of pork, wanna meet my hog?"
Shenanigans Called - 0

Tuesday, August 21, 2018

Stupid Fake Deer Faces

Episode 2.19: Nevermind the Buttocks. Original Airdate 4.18.06

"Veronica looks for a dog killer after being hired by a student whose pet was ran over, and Keith discovers surprising revelations about Kendall's past. Meanwhile, Weevil learns that the Fitzpatricks are abusing his old gang members, and Jackie applies for a job at Java the Hut and asks Veronica to put in a good word for her. Wallace tries to get back together with Jackie, but she gives him some heartbreaking news."

Daniel's Thoughts:

  • So Veronica is being questioned by lawyers.  It’s nice to know that this whole story didn’t end just because Aaron was arrested.  I mean, I'd like it to end and go away forever, sure, but it's more realistic because these things tend to go on forever.
  • Aww, I can’t believe they’re making students feed mice to snakes.  I would protest.
  • True story: I almost told my biology teacher I couldn’t dissect a frog.  But then I did it anyway because I was non-combative in school. 
  • Aww, Mac got something taken away in a locker check.  But also, what the hell is a cell phone interceptor? Is that a real thing?
  • “He changed his lock? Man, he’s gotten paranoid.” Lol.
  • Principal whathisface’s son is named “Vincent”….that’s two Vinnies on this show. 
A Tale of Two Vinnies

  • Crap, Veronica didn’t tell Mac  about the deal that she’d have to go to the dance with Butters in exchange for getting her cell phone interceptor back.
  • Thumper ref – “He must be crushed” – Weevil…   ohhhhh.  Except we’re not sure if Weevil knew what exactly happened to Thumper.
  • After all they’ve been through, I can’t believe Veronica is accusing Weevil of putting a bomb on the bus.
  • Aww.  There’s a lot of dog related mysteries on this show.  I love that not only does Veronica have a dog, but she’s very empathetic to those who have lost theirs.  Dogs rule! (Cats drool).
  • Jackie comes into view and I’m like, “who is…” Oh.  That’s Jackie.  She got her hair straightened.  This feeds into my theory of I don’t recognize people who change their hair. [It's true. Two years ago I went from dark brunette to platinum blonde and he still doesn't know who I am. - Z]
  • “Logan may be a little fuzzy on the commandments.”
  • And now Kendall’s a suspect?  Well, with four episodes left, everyone’s a suspect.
  • And Jessica Jones is here!  And someone mooned her.
  • Ooh, and she reveals that her dad called her moments before the crash to see where she was.  It seems innocuous & unimportant at the time…but…
  • The guy Veronica is helping seems like kind of a psycho.  Either that, or he just loved his dog very much.
  • So Kendall used to be Priscilla Banks.  What will this lead to?
  • Jackie’s got accepted to the Sorbonne in Paris...she says.  Which is great considering we’ve never seen her have an affinity for or interest in cooking.  But…I guess we know she won’t be in season 3.
  • Uh oh.  Keith’s investigation led him to the same place as Veronica’s. And it’s a good thing she called him – uncharacteristically, I might add – because she might have saved his life.
  • And also, uh oh – it’s a Fitzpatrick.
  • Holy shit – good thing the gun wasn’t loaded. I mean, how did Veronica know to take the bullets out? 
  • Also – Holy shit – it’s Kendall Priscilla Cordelia Banks Casablancas Schifflett Chase. [aka Lameass Made Up Entire Name Casablancas - Anya]
  • Weevil’s ex-crew vs The Fitzpatrick crew – there’s gonna be a rumble tonighttttt.
  • Come on, Weevil – come through.  I know you’re on your way.  Hey, there he is!  Weevil to the rescue!

Zelda's Thoughts:

  • I'd say "oh good we're finally getting back to Aaron Echolls's case" but I know the future and it makes me angry.
  • "Statutory rape is a grave accusation." // "Not to a murderer."
  • Oh right, the current Mars theory is that Kendall was trying to take out the Casablancas kids on the bus for the life insurance.
  • Weevil, pointedly: "I got no problem sacrificing a rat." Okay so that entire scene of him feeding the live rat to the class python, which of course is a thing a high school class would have, just so we could have a completely subtle and not at all hamhanded allusion to what he did to Thumper
  • "Please respect the business model, Veronica. I do the gadgets, you do the actual espionage." Aw you guys, this time Veronica's doing Mac a favor.
  • Gasp! Clemmons changed his lock, so we don't even get a Veronica Breaks In stat (don't worry, we get one when she breaks into the garage of Cataract Lady)
  • oh riiiiiiight Vincent/Butters has a crush on Mac. And Veronica just volunteers her as his prom date? Like without asking? I don't care if Mac and Beaver are on the outs (actually I'm thrilled about it), but you don't do that to your friend.
  • And then she didn't even give Mac a heads up.
  • And then she accuses Weevil of blowing up the bus. V is batting a thousand today.
  • Okay, fine, there are two reasons for that pointed rat-feeding scene - V's using it as evidence that he's the one who put the dead rat on the bus.
  • Ugh I hate when Weevil and Veronica are on the outs. Especially because it's almost always with Veronica incorrectly accusing Weevil of criminal activity. (though, to be fair, while he didn't kill Thumper, he did frame him knowing the Fitzpatricks would almost certainly kill him. But that doesn't mean he blew up the bus)
  • you guys WHAT THE FUCK. Neptune High's movie club is having an Aaron Echolls marathon. 
yellow flier in the top left corner

  • Oh right, this is the Jackie-working-at-The-Hut plotline
  • You know what, Wallace, eff this. Demanding that he'll be platonic friends with Jackie only if she stops being attractive, basically. And then he piles on with talking about how her dad's in jail for the bus crash. What the eff is wrong with Wallace this season? Is he turning into our Xander?
  • Man, Veronica's Case of the Week - who killed this rando's dog - really does feel like the least interesting piece of this episode, leveled against Weevil's drama, the impending Echolls trial, Keith and Veronica working on the bus case, even Jackie needing a job. The potential for it to tie in to the bus crash - that Gia saw the car right before the bus went off the cliff - feels like the only reason it might not be a complete waste of time.
  • Le gasp! Cordelia Chase stole the identity of Kendall Casablancas. Her real name is Priscilla Banks and she has a history of wire fraud. Oh right, the thing where she pretends to be a lot dumber than she is.
  • Oh good, Veronica and Weevil have made up, with Weevil explaining everything.
  • It's a very cute touch that Weevil still calls Keith "Sheriff." Goes along with Keith always calling Weevil by his first name, Eli. And I guess a future nod to the fact that he'll be the only one to not call Piz Piz.

  • And Wallace is behaving better too, telling Jackie he'll back off if she's truly not interested in him.
  • You guys, the driver of the mysterious green car is wearing a claddagh ring. IS IT ANGEL. (No, they just want to make sure we know he's Irish)
  • Okay, I guess I forgive the boring "find the car" plot since it does tie into Keith investigating Not!Kendall, who, it turns out, is now in bed with the Fitzpatricks. You know. That crime family that has a finger in every pie even though we've never heard of them until this season. Also Kendall has a secret house, for funsies.
  • "His gun wasn't loaded." // "If you wouldn't've hung up on me, I could have told you." my beautiful Marses
  • "Your wish is my shift-command."
  • gasp! the younger brother of my-dog-is-dead rando is a PCHer and getting beaten by the Fitzpatricks. Okay, I did have a small memory that the dead dog was a red herring, and it was actually about siccing Veronica on Liam Fitzpatrick, so I guess it's okay that the starter part of that plot was boring, since we're moving toward the finale and it's time to tie things together in one big celtic knot (I am the worst) (especially since the Fitzpatricks have jack to do with the bus crash)
  • But good news, Weevil wrests control of the PCHers back from the Fitzpatricks, and hopefully their drug dealing escapades are at an end.
  • They just revealed that Kendall has always been in league with the Fitzpatricks (partners with imprisoned Cormac Fitzpatrick) and I just ... it's silly. The Fitzpatrick stuff is silly. Yes, the violence they perpetuate is scary, but the conspiracy stuff surrounding them is hard for me to take seriously.
  • Le SIIIIIIIIIGH. Duncan's hair, which Kendall stole fifteen thousand years ago, has resurfaced on Aaron's Oscar statue (also HAHA AARON ECHOLLS WON AN OSCAR OKAY SURE)
  • Do we think, with one-off rando Harry's weapon fixation, that they actually wanted this plotline to involve Norris Clayton from last season? He was definitely more compelling than this guy.

Favorite Lines:
Daniel: "He changed his lock? Man, he's gotten paranoid." -Veronica Voiceover
Zelda: "Your wish is my shift-command." - Mac

Neptune Roll Call: Wallace, Logan, Weevil, Jackie (Absent: Duncan, Dick, Beaver)
First Appearance: Ethan Lavoie
Recurring: Cliff McCormack, Mac, Vincent "Butters" Clemmons, Cute as a Bug Manager, Gia Goodman, Hector, Liam Fitzpatrick, Kendall Casablancas
Generally Known TV Face: Matt Bush

Dead Humans - 0
Backup Sighting - 0
Veronica Breaks In - 1
Veronica Tases Someone - 0
Mac Hacks - 1
Who's Your Daddy? - 0
Wallace Does Veronica a Favor - 0
Veronica Wants a Pony - 0
Logan Punches Someone - 0
Dick's Single Entendres - 0
Shenanigans Called - 0

Tuesday, August 7, 2018

I Know Who You Did Last Summer

Episode 2.18: I Am God. Original Airdate 4.11.06 

"A restless Veronica is plagued by dreams in which the students killed in the bus crash confront her. Meanwhile, Logan and Wallace are paired together for a physics project that neither is enthusiastic about, until they discover that their success might help Veronica receive a scholarship. Later, when a large number of students are diagnosed with a medical ailment that gives them the right to postpone school tests and projects, a concerned principal Clemmons hires Keith to investigate the validity of the disorder."

Zelda's Thoughts:

  • Miss James is back! Hi Miss James!
  • V's having nightmares about the bus crash victims. It's Lilly all over again.
  • Considerately, V is recapping what we know of the the victims, since it's been a hot minute
  • Time to introduce Lucky the Janitor to the narrative.
  • Dream Meg: "Have you been reading my emails ... wait. Forgot. I'm dead. In VeronicaLand, no pulse, no privacy."
  • We can't stat it because we didn't see it, but V broke in to investigate the bus just like Keith did.
  • I guess now that Hannah's gone, we're positioning LoVe to return, and maybe the Awkward Dance at Sadie Hawkins last ep was the first step of that.
  • Step two is an extended make out flashback of LoVe, plus banter banter.
  • I gotta admire Mr. Wu's restraint, not punishing Dick for his rampant racist jokes.
  • "Dick Casablancas is the bastard child of Satan." // "Well, that would explain a lot." I like this girl.
  • Logan: "You don't like me much, do you:" Wallace: "The last time we actually talked, you were bashing Veronica's headlights with a crowbar." It's a fair point, the two of them really haven't interacted much
  • It's really lovely seeing how happy V is that she got into Stanford ... though I'm with her, why was her acceptance letter so thin? My acceptance letters were big full size packets. My rejections were small and letter sized.

  • But V got knocked out of first place for the Kane scholarship, so she probably can't afford to go to Stanford.
  • Oh right, Keith is doing these blind dates ... but it's for some other reason than dating, I forget what.
  • GASP his second blind date is with Anne L. Nathan! She's a character actress who's been in All the Musicals. I met her once in a Pret and it's a very cute story. Well, it's an okay story. Fine, it's a dorky story. I dorked at character actress Anne L. Nathan in a Pret when she asked me what time it was.
  • Wuh oh. Keith and Clemmons came into Clemmons's office while Veronica was breaking in. She's hiding in the closet, but at least we get to find out why Keith came by the school and denied it.
  • Keith's face when he finds her in the closet. Absolutley amazing. But he doesn't rat her out. "Yep, that's mine all right."

  • And date #3 is the reason he's doing what he's doing. He found the office manager of a doctor, and that's how he got a recording of an ongoing doctor scam to get kids out of exams for made up reasons.
  • And Dream Peter makes a good point: "Why was I even on that bus? Why would I even be interested in going to a baseball stadium?" and it's a good clue. He was going because of Woody.
  • heh but they're not rushing into the LoVe ship just yet: "You are such a catch. How has Hannah been able to keep away?"
  • and "I am God" was an album cover red herring.
  • "I didn't just ruin Citizen Kane for you, did I?"

Daniel's Thoughts:

  • Uh oh, Veronica’s in trouble [Must be Tuesday? - Buffy]
  • Jennifer Love Hewitt  - Ghost Whisperer reference – what a fun, kinda dumb show.  But it was cute for a while.
  • Veronica’s dreams are weird, but cool, we get to see Meg again.

  • The mystery is getting going.
  • Keith makes a potshot Paris Hilton joke and we all laugh because a) she’s terrible and b) she guest starred on the show in season 1.
  • And there is the title written there on one of the bus seats. 
  • Lotsa flashbacks this episode.  This one has a lot of Veronica/Logan making out.
  • Dick was just openly racist to an Asian teacher.  Why is this at all acceptable?
  • Logan & Wallace in a scene together? What?
  • Aww, Deputy Leo reference.
  • “Dick Casablancas is the bastard child of Satan.”  Yep.
  • And someone on the radio show calls Logan, “Rosemary’s baby”.  That’s the 2nd reference in a row to a rich kid being Satan’s child.  Consistency or laziness in writing?
  • I failed this egg drop thing in high school.  My egg totally broke.
  • Logan calls a maid bringing up a pillow his 'fluffer'.  Like…what?  Why are we just accepting all this blatant misogyny?  The maid doesn’t even blink.
  • OMG, One more – Angie is described as a demon’s spawn.  Ok, a bit of a step down from Satan’s child, but-
  • Is…Keith internet dating?  I’m sure this has something to do with a case…
  • Wow, the egg drop is just off a desk?  Ours was off a rooftop!
  • One of the teams is using a teddy bear for the egg drop project.
  • Oh no.  Keith’s 2nd date describes Keith as George from Seinfeld.  That’s so sad.
  • I guess dropping it from the desk was just the first test.
  • I love Veronica’s ring of 20,000 keys.  Oh no!  Principal Clemmon’s coming back!  And he’s with Keith!
  • And Keith catches her and it’s awesome.  Because he doesn’t rat her out.
  • Keith’s date #3 is the office manager at a doctor’s office. Which seems important.
  • Gay kid: “Why would I be interested in going to a baseball stadium?”  Because gay kids can’t be interested in sports.  That would ruin your stereotypes.
  • Ah, ok, next test was a 12 foot drop.  That’s cool.  Ours was still higher.  And we didn’t get partners either.  Admittedly I didn’t try that hard.  I was a total underachiever in high school.
  • Are….Wallace and Logan friends now?
  • They got us with the dream within a dream!
  • Veronica’s taking a nap! I love naps!  Naps are the best!
  • Anxiety dreams!  I have those too!

Favorite Lines:
Zelda: "I didn't just ruin Citizen Kane for you, did I?" - Veronica
Daniel: "Did you watch House of Wax again? You know that Hilton girl gives you nightmares." - Keith

Neptune Roll Call: Wallace, Logan, Dick, Beaver (Absent: Duncan, Weevil, Jackie)
First Appearance: Marcos Oliveres, Lucky, Peter Ferrer
Recurring: Rebecca James, Meg Manning, Michelle Thompson, Mr. Wu, Principal Van Clemmons, Mrs. Murphy

Dead Humans - 0
Backup Sighting - 0
Veronica Breaks In - 1
Veronica Tases Someone - 0
Mac Hacks - 0
Who's Your Daddy? - 0
Wallace Does Veronica a Favor - 0
Veronica Wants a Pony - 0
Logan Punches Someone - 0
Dick's Single Entendres - 3 (Bareback Mountain quotation), "Just because you wiggle your finger doesn't mean Dick's gonna come," "Maybe you and Ronnie could soap each other's backs"
Shenanigans Called - 0

Tuesday, July 31, 2018

Ooh, Tell Me More About This Band Dork

Episode 2.17: Plan B. Original Airdate 4.05.06

"Weevil believes that Thumper killed Felix and he asks Veronica to help him prove it. While Logan wins an essay contest and gets to intern for a week with Mayor Woody Goodman, Keith examines a video that was taken, apparently by a stalker, inside of Woody's house. Also, Wallace goes to the school's Sadie Hawkins dance with Jane, and Mac asks Veronica for advice on how to improve her less-than-romantic relationship with Beaver."

Daniel's Thoughts:

  • Let’s see who won the essay contest.  Hey, it’s Logan. Gasp.
  • Funny that his t-shirt says ‘slacker’ at this particular moment.
  • Nice continuity with Easy Rider, the movie Logan made Hannah watch the previous week.
  • Jane gives Wallace a kiss on the cheek and he doesn’t really seem that into it.  We’ll see what that’s about.
  • Hey it’s Weevil!  We haven’t seen him in a while.
  • Weevil says Thumper killed Bambi.  I mean Felix.
  • He wasn’t involved in the episode where Logan’s charges were dropped.  Weird since he was involved in that.
  • And hey, it’s Jackie!
  • And Wallace is kinda flirting with Jackie now, so I guess we know what that look was about.
  • Logan wasn’t kidding before…there really is a Sadie Hawkins dance.
  • Logan puts his hand on the bible and then recoils like it burns.  It’s such an old hokey joke but he makes it work.

  • I don’t really care what’s going on now, so I’ll tell you a story.  There’s a musical called “Guttenberg: the musical” about the printing press that I totally thought was a parody about Steve Guttenberg.   That is all.
  • Logan goes from school to interning to a stake out.  When is homework??
  • Veronica’s locker is unlocked?  She finds this okay?
  • Flirting is getting to a higher level between Jackie & Wallace.
  • I feel like this is the episode where they’re laying down the clues about both Beaver & Woody.
  • …showing Woody ‘innocently’ copping a feel on Logan.
  • The Fitzpatricks really are just irredeemable asshats.
  • Ugh, Lamb is so frustrating and I guess he always will be.  For about another year anyway.
  • Jessica Jones at spring fling!  Gia is so different than Jessica – she’s so great.

  • And Wallace continues to pay more attention to Jackie than Jane.  We never really got to see much of Jane, so I’m not too bothered.
  • Oh hello, Wallace kissed Jackie.  And I really like Jackie’s reaction.  I like that she doesn't want to be seen as that girl and Wallace is putting her in a really bad position.
  • I’d feel bad for Beav at this point, because I’d suspect what’s going on here….except we know what’s coming.
  • Crazy way for Thumper to die.  And he deserves bad things, but this, man.

  • I’m glad Wallace is stepping up and doing the right thing Jane – even if it did take a day.
  • And Jackie does the right thing anyway.  
  • Aww, poor Mac.  Everyone’s breaking up.
  • And is it poetic justice that Logan’s the one who accidentally kills Thumper?

  • I remember when Shea Stadium imploded.  That’s…the end of that story.

Zelda's Thoughts:

  • I can't believe Mrs. Murphy is playing a patriotic PowerPoint while she announces that Logan won the essay contest.
  • Oh Weevil's back. He's been gone for three years.
  • "This face? Right here? My over the moon face." I'd forgotten that this ep is what that line is from. 
  • Did V have bangs last episode or are they new?
  • "All right, tell me. Damn my curiosity!"
She's just so cute.

  • V pretends to do the shocker gesture and Weevil tries to correct her, and I would bet you so much money it's a nod to when Logan and Dick did that gesture earlier this season and the show got away with it.

because that's NOT the shocker gesture

  • Oh Jackie's back! And Wallace may or may not be flirting with her.
  • Though right now it's being framed as friendship.
  • Mac and Beaver holding hands, looking at the Sadie Hawkins banner, and she's being charmingly adorable and so is he but I HATE KNOWING THE FUTURE.
  • Logan's in full douche mode this episode, a flip flop from his angst of last episode. "Follow the bouncing ball: not my problem."
  • Woody Goodman's assistant is yet another Americas Next Top Model, as you can tell from her embarrassingly bad line delivery.
  • Hah I do love Logan's snap this episode, pretending the bible burns him, then once he's sworn in, leaving to fire Sheriff Lamb (I wish).
  • His grand prize is opening and sorting mail for the Mayor. How grand.
  • But luckily it means he found the threatening video taken inside the Goodman house. He thinks it's someone who's against Neptune incorporating, but shhhhh it's actually spoiler about spoiler.
  • Aw Mac's worried that her physical relationship with Beaver hasn't progressed beyond hand-holding and kissing.
  • Ugh I just. Woody having Logan spotting him while he lifts weights. Just. Logan's too old for his gross predator track record, but STOP FEELING UP LOGAN'S BICEPS WHAT THE FUCK

  • I mean also this is our first major red flag about Woody so obv it needs to be there and I know there's a lot more WHAT THE FUCK to be uncovered about Woody's activities. What a shit.
  • At least Weevil's prompted Molly to finally start questioning what the Fitzpatricks have been saying, and how much they were behind Felix's murder.
  • Oh mannn I forgot Veronica and Weevil bugged that conversation with the yellow truck Weevil gave to Molly. I mean, of course they did, but I'd forgotten that piece.
  • Lamb, once again the worst.
  • And Weevil warned us, if Veronica can't get justice against Thumper through the Law, he'll take care of it on his own.
  • Keith figured out that the video inside Woody's house was shot before the incorporation initiative ... so there's another reason someone broke into his house. And that reason is spoiler.
  • Shit, I forgot that a kid witnesses Weevil knock Thumper out and rob him (and set him up to get punished by the Fitzpatricks).
  • Welp, there Wallace is, dancing with Jane, and looking at Jackie. Don't be that guy, Wallace. Both girls deserve better.
  • Fuck, I forgot he tries to kiss Jackie too. DON'T BE THAT GUY, WALLACE.
  • And now he's making it seem like Jackie made the advances. DON'T BE THAT GUY, WALLACE.
  • Now they're both mad at him, as they should be.
  • I never really get why gifs of this dance between Logan and V are so popular. They're barely looking at each other, and she only dragged him up so he wouldn't start insulting Gia. Any chemistry port in a storm?
  • I remembered that Thumper got blown up in the demolition; I'd forgotten the Fitzpatricks put him there. I guess it removes Weevil one more step away from outright murder.
  • And Woody, a bad bad liar, lies badly to Keith about who's behind the creepy stalker DVD of his house.
  • But our Keith is no dummy.
  • Woody, complimenting V for coming in to help Keith on her lunch break ... from high school ... at 3pm (you can see the damn clock) ... I'd call a shenanigan but I think it's just another sign of how rattled he is, because he knows what that stalker video was actually about.
  • At least Wallace is coming clean to Jane.
  • Ugh ugh ugh. Mac "I don't know what I'm doing either." Beaver: "I know what I'm doing." Yeah, maybe when you're raping an unconscious girl.
  • And now he's being COMPLETELY shitty to Mac and pretending it's because she talked to Veronica about it. Fuck you, Beaver. I mean, we know how much I hate you because I know the future, but also fuck you for this moment in particular. Mac is the best and you don't deserve her.
  • Sigh. V got the trucker to finally ID Thumper to the police as Felix's killer, but it's too late: he's gettin' murderfaced.

Favorite Lines:

(to Sheriff Lamb)


Neptune Roll Call: Wallace, Logan, Weevil, Beaver, Jackie (Absent: Duncan, Dick)
Recurring: Mrs. Murphy, Jane Kuhne, Thumper, Hector, Felix Toombs, Mr. Wu, Cindy "Mac" Mackenzie, Mayor Woody Goodman, Gia Goodman, Molly Fitzpatrick, Danny Boyd, Liam Fitzpatrick, Sheriff Don Lamb, Deputy Jerry Sacks, David "Curly" Moran, Foreman
America's Next Top Model: Furonda Brasfield (Beverly Simms)


Dead Humans - 1
Backup Sighting - 0
Veronica Breaks In - 0
Veronica Tases Someone - 0
Mac Hacks - 0
Who's Your Daddy? - 0
Wallace Does Veronica a Favor - 0
Veronica Wants a Pony - 0
Logan Punches Someone - 0
Dick's Single Entendres - 0
Shenanigans Called - 0

Wednesday, July 25, 2018

Is That What the Kids Call Motorboating?

Episode 2.16: The Rapes of Graff. Original Airdate 3.29.06

"While accompanying Wallace to Hearst College, Veronica runs into her ex-boyfriend Troy. The next day, Troy is accused of raping a girl on campus and then shaving her head, and Veronica reluctantly agrees to help him. Meanwhile, Keith helps Cliff with a personal problem involving a prostitute, and Logan makes a decision regarding his relationship with Hannah."

Zelda's Thoughts:

  • Mayor Woody Goodman is having an essay writing contest because contrivance
  • Logan finally blackmailed Dr. Tom enough to get his case dismissed
  • Come on, Veronica, give in to destiny. You know you're going to go to Hearst if the show gets a third season. You know it, Wallace knows it, and the American People know it.
  • And Logan breaks up with Hannah and we're all sad.
  • Hi there George Michael Bluth.
  • who is apparently sober and less shady now. or so he claims. shrug?
  • Madison Sinclair is dating someone "more mature" than Dick, but since I know it's Sheriff Lamb, I'd like to challenge that assessment.
  • V: *throws a beer in a toolbag's face* Toolbag: Yeah, tell me how you like it *aims another beer* V: *tips his beer into his face again*
  • Hi there Maeby Funke
  • Oh shit V just tased the toolbag.
  • Oh Cliffffffff what have you done why are you handcuffed and stranded in a hotel bed
  • Someone raped Maeby Funke and the police think it's Troy. But it's too early in the episode for it to be him.
  • Aw shit someone stole Cliff's case files about Logan

  • I guess she's probably 18 now, so it's not illegal, it's just gross.
  • Hannah slipped a file into the get out of jail cake she made for Logan. Logan's feeling shitty about himself, as he should.
  • Veronica to Maeby: "It's just gonna suck, and then it'll suck less."
  • Christ. The rapist left a box of hair outside Maeby's door. But it's not even her hair.
  • V to the wig shop lady: "Please, ma'am, she's my sister." // "I'm sorry, this girl was Hawaiian." // "Oh." *leaves*
  • "I don't know if you get points for being sassy, but yeah."
  • Gross. The frat house has a pantie board, and that toolbag from before is claiming he nailed Veronica.
  • V found another victim of the headshaving rapist, and it happened before Troy was anywhere near campus, which exonerates him.
  • But also there's a serial rapist running around campus, and knowing the future, this is gonna keep being a problem through next season that continues to not be dealt with. At least she's getting that frat put on probation for the semester.
  • Wallace "See if you come here next year, you've already got enemies. Just feel right at home." That's actually the most enticing thing one could say.
  • I ... actually forgot that Logan apologized to Hannah and made up with her.
  • "Dad, your hooker's here." "Escort, honey."
  • Oh right, then Dr. Tom comes and breaks them up and ships her off forever. Bye Hannah I guess?
  • V: "What do you know about plastic explosives?" // Keith: "Well, that's what I like: a good segue."
  • Aw yay Wallace got his scholarship.
  • V, undercover as a pink garbed blondie, finds out the construction site where they're demolishing the stadium has the same C4 that blew up the bus and was found at Terrence Cook's hangar. And Danny Boyd works there.
Daniel's Thoughts:

  • Hey, an essay contest to be Mayor Pedo’s (spoilers) assistant.
  • Wallace is not very approving of Logan.
  • Don’t worry, you’ll all get into (fake) Hearst college that happens to be in (fake) Neptune.
  • And Poor Hannah.  She’s just a rube in all this.  Poor naïve Hannah.
  • Hey, special guest star Michael Cera.  And he’s actually pretty funny.  And also pretty much playing college level George Michael.
  • Oh hey, it’s Troy.    I love the Ashmore twins!
  • Madison and Dick are on the outs again.  I can so see their future in 20 years – him cheating, her drinking. [both of them hooking up with barely-legals -Z]
  • Ugh, this college dude is so awful.
  • Veronica can take care of herself.  The throwing of the drink and then…making him throw another one on himself.  So good.
  • And Alia Shawkat! Maybe…  I don’t remember ever seeing her have such long and straight hair.  It looks strange, but good. 
  • Aww, Cliff is in trouble.  Keith’s coming to bail him out.
  • I guess that was a wig Alia was wearing…
  • Could Troy Vandergraff be innocent? GASP
  • Oh gross, Lamb is hooking up with Madison.  I feel like it happens often in tv shows.  The thing is, in real life High School girls look like high school girls.  On TV, they’re played by 25 year olds so it seems better than it is?
  • Troy: Maybe you can just believe me.  I mean why should she after you so talentedly lied to her many times in the past?
  • Dick’s wearing a t-shirt that says, “Screw with my head”. 

I don't think it'd be too difficult

  • Weird part?  Alia actually looks pretty good with a shaved head.
  • The music behind Veronica’s totally fake sob story at the wig shop.  It’s so old school soap opera music and it’s wonderful.
  • "This Girl was Hawaiian."  "Oh."

  • How convenient that Wallace passes by and unlocks the window that Veronica needs to break in to.
  • Veronica needs to find a Hawaiian girl…so she finds the Hawaiian club. Okay.
  • So Veronica solved the hair rape case…for now.
  • SHENANIGANS.  Alia is walking a dog.  Why does she have a dog? a dorm?
  • SHENANIGANS. Also why does Veronica have so many bags if she stayed at home the other night?
  • I really don’t understand why Hannah is so enthralled with Logan. He’s been pretty awful. But…that’s relationships.  A lot of young relationships, at that.

Favorite Lines:


"Dad, your hooker's here." "Escort, honey." - Veronica/Keith


Neptune Roll Call: Wallace, Logan, Dick (Absent: Duncan, Weevil, Beaver, Jackie)
First Appearance: Chip Diller, Drew, Foreman
Recurring: Mrs. Murphy, Hannah Griffith, Troy Vandergraff, Cliff McCormack, Sheriff Don Lamb, Madison Sinclair, Dr. Tom Griffith, Danny Boyd
Already Famous Person: Michael Cera, Alia Shawkat


Dead Humans - 0
Backup Sighting - 0
Veronica Breaks In - 1
Veronica Tases Someone - 1
Mac Hacks - 0
Who's Your Daddy? - 0
Wallace Does Veronica a Favor - 1
Veronica Wants a Pony - 0
Logan Punches Someone - 0
Dick's Single Entendres - 0
Shenanigans Called - 2

Wednesday, July 18, 2018

Be Sure to Bring Mouthwash

Episode 2.15: The Quick and the Wed. Original Airdate 3.22.06

"Wallace's new girlfriend Jane enlists Veronica's help when her older sister Heidi appears to be a "runaway bride," but the clues suggest something possibly more disturbing happened on the way to the altar. Meanwhile, Keith and Veronica decide that they have no choice but to go to Sheriff Lamb with the evidence they've uncovered about the bus crash. Later, Kendall has a tempting offer for Aaron Echolls."

Daniel's Thoughts:

  • The episode starts off with Keith asking Veronica to clarify what she saw in the hangar, i.e, the explosives and detonators…and Zelda and I both paused because we were like…did we even write about this in our last blog? We remember seeing it but couldn’t remember which episode it was.  This is what happens when you watch four episodes in a row.  It turns out, it did happen randomly at the end of the last episode, just neither of us talked about it in the blog.
  • And Keith’s doing the right thing by going to Lamb, knowing that he’s gonna catch shit for it.
  • Tinseltown Diaries.  Aaron Echolls is still trying to pretend he’s innocent in Lilly’s death and it's gross.
  • Poor Logan.  He’s watching his family on TV.  I can’t imagine.
  • And hey, it’s Jane.  We get to know a little more about Wallace’s girlfriend.
  • Man, that diamond ring is huge.

  • The bachelorette party has a scavenger hunt: “If you get to #8, be sure to bring mouthwash” – I really want to know what #8 is.
  • So Terrence Cook is looking more guilty. Poor Jackie.  Except we'll see neither of them this entire episode. [Who are you talking about again? - Z]
  • One of the bachelorettes lost her cell phone – Veronica dismisses this but I feel like that’s going to come back.
  • Is that…a picture of a babadook in Jane’s sister’s apartment?
Babadook's cousin?

  • I completely forgot about this Beaver/Cordelia side story and I don’t really care…
  • Logan’s not going to take the deal, and he shouldn’t.
  • Keith still doubts Cook’s guilt.  And his hunch is working out.
  • Aaron doing a bad Hannibal impression…somehow makes Cordelia show her…assets.  Gross.  I just don’t care about any of this.
  • Hannah’s parents are so serious all the time.
  • Really?  Hannah thinks her mother is judgmental because her boyfriend put together bum fights?
  • And Logan feels bad because Hannah really is a good person that he’s totally using.
  • Hahahahaha. I love that the guy Veronica’s looking for turns out to be Vinnie.  And he’s in a bowling league, because of course he is.
  • And he just grabbed a fry off of someone else’s plate.  I wonder if Ken Marino adlibbed that action.
  • Mr. Pope is back! We like him.  I like the continuity of characters on this show, especially the teachers.
  • Why does Heidi have a fax?  Why does anyone have a fax?
  • Heidi: You’re 12. Veronica: I’m 18.  Me: You’re 25.
  • Kim the bachelorette lost her cell phone! I knew it! I knew that would come back.
  • I mean – if you hadn’t heard from your fiancée in three days, would you really show up to the wedding?  Did he even look for her?
  • Except now he’s being a total dick…and yeah, I don’t buy it.  Ah, I get it.  He set her up to not show up.  I guess.  I don’t know.  It’s all weird.   But why?  What’d she do?  Did he just change his mind?  They don’t seem very well-matched at all.  This all just seems very convoluted.
  • Also, Veronica’s not dressed for a wedding. Which wouldn't stand out as much if there were only 5 guests. Can we get back to the bus crash stuff?
  • Hannah’s dad seems to be coming around…altho…he’s so drab, I just forgot everything I just watched.
  • Oh good.  A Vinnie/Veronica scene.  I’m here for it.  And I like that she knows, despite the fact he’s a sleaze, that he’s still talented at what he does.  Those little character surprise moments is something that sets this show apart from other shows. No one is just one thing.
  • I’m surprised (but not surprised) that there was no Jackie in the episode where her father was shot and also set up for the bus crash murders.

Zelda's Thoughts:

  • Oh right, V found explosives in Terrence Cook's hangar ... a plot point which both Daniel and I forgot to talk about in our last post.
  • Like we just paused the DVD and went combing through our post and the episode transcript, bewildered that we didn't talk about it at all. I guess we just hate Kristin Cavallari that much.
  • Oh right the Tinseltown Diaries episode about Aaron Echolls. The VMars version of E! True Hollywood Story.
  • Ugh Aaron Echolls, you are the fucking worst.
  • "The Manns are like the oldest money in Neptune." "You mean like from the '80s?"
  • wuh oh, Jane's sister is missing
  • So I don't actually remember what the explanation is for why there were explosives in Terrrence Cook's hanger.
  • V's calling out Logan on dating Dr. Griffith's daughter, and she's not wrong but I do think at this point he cares. And then he deflects with "you're cute when you're jealous" and I kinda wanna punch him.
I think Veronica would also like to punch him. [Thirded -D]

  • Does Heidi have a ... an unstrung violin on her wall? Why? What did that violin ever do to her?

  • oh right, I forgot about Beaver's whole shady business with Kendall. 
  • Beaver: "What have I told you about thinking?" // Kendall: "That it makes my breasts smaller?" ugh both of them (she's funny on that line, I just don't like them)
  • Cliff to Logan, "With good behavior, if you could muster some, you'd be out [of prison] in half that." I do love him
  • "I've asked around, and I hope this isn't news to you, but no one likes you."
  • I do like that Logan decided to stick with Cliff for his lawyer, both because I love Cliff and because I think a lot of lawyers would fawn and do all sorts of shady shadiness, but we know Cliff is a good guy who won't take any of Logan's shit.
  • hmmmmm Cook's car mechanic can swear that the explosives weren't there before. 
  • Oh were they planted once TC got arrested? Is that what happened? Is that what spoiler did?
  • Ugh Kendall and Aaron flirting. Everything is gross. Everyone is a slime. "Quid pro quo, Mrs. C." and then he hisses like Hannibal Lecter CAN WE PLEASE END THE SCENE
  • ugh yeah I don't feel bad for Logan, because he's STILL using Hannah, pretending to send an email to Dr. Tom from Hannah's mom, claiming to have found condoms (though I appreciate that he's using the fact that he knows neither parent wants Hannah to see him as his weapon)
A toolbag I love to watch

  • aw shit, TCook got shot breaking into Ms. Dumas's parents' place, WHAT COULD IT MEEEEEEAN
  • Mr. Pope is giving us exposition that I know is tying in to the overarching stuff with both Woody and Beaver but eh
  • Gasp! Nick didn't send the fax that lured Heidi away
  • Wow that dude's family hired Vinnie to steal her friend's phone, send her a fake text, a fake fax, and sabotage the wedding. What a garbage family.
  • The way Heidi handles his self righteousness is kinda badass though.
  • Wow the hotel room still has a bunch of photos of Duncan and V. Why ...?
  • Aaaaaaand Kendall steals Duncan's hair so they can plant some DNA and fuck everything.

Favorite Lines:
Daniel: Vinnie: "You didn't get it from me." Veronica: "Exactly how many times have you had to say that in your life?"
Zelda: "I've asked around, and I hope this isn't news to you, but no one likes you." - Cliff

Neptune Roll Call: Wallace, Logan, Dick, Beaver (Absent: Duncan, Weevil, Jackie)
Recurring: Sheriff Don Lamb, Aaron Echolls, Hannah Griffith, Veronica's Other Job, Jane Kuhne, Kendall Casablancas, Cliff McCormack, Arturo, Vinnie Van Lowe, Mr. Pope, Dr. Tom Griffith 


Dead Humans - 0
Backup Sighting - 0
Veronica Breaks In - 0
Veronica Tases Someone - 0
Mac Hacks - 0
Who's Your Daddy? - 0
Wallace Does Veronica a Favor - 0
Veronica Wants a Pony - 0
Logan Punches Someone - 0
Dick's Single Entendres - 1 ("Probably all those tossed salads, huh?")
Shenanigans Called - 0