PLEASE NOTE: THIS IS A SPOILER-RICH ZONE

PLEASE NOTE: THIS IS A SPOILER-RICH ZONE. If your diet requires you to dine on television spoiler-free ... good luck with that.

REVIEW ARCHIVES

Wednesday, July 18, 2018

Be Sure to Bring Mouthwash

Episode 2.15: The Quick and the Wed. Original Airdate 3.22.06


"Wallace's new girlfriend Jane enlists Veronica's help when her older sister Heidi appears to be a "runaway bride," but the clues suggest something possibly more disturbing happened on the way to the altar. Meanwhile, Keith and Veronica decide that they have no choice but to go to Sheriff Lamb with the evidence they've uncovered about the bus crash. Later, Kendall has a tempting offer for Aaron Echolls."

Daniel's Thoughts:

  • The episode starts off with Keith asking Veronica to clarify what she saw in the hangar, i.e, the explosives and detonators…and Zelda and I both paused because we were like…did we even write about this in our last blog? We remember seeing it but couldn’t remember which episode it was.  This is what happens when you watch four episodes in a row.  It turns out, it did happen randomly at the end of the last episode, just neither of us talked about it in the blog.
  • And Keith’s doing the right thing by going to Lamb, knowing that he’s gonna catch shit for it.
  • Tinseltown Diaries.  Aaron Echolls is still trying to pretend he’s innocent in Lilly’s death and it's gross.
  • Poor Logan.  He’s watching his family on TV.  I can’t imagine.
  • And hey, it’s Jane.  We get to know a little more about Wallace’s girlfriend.
  • Man, that diamond ring is huge.


  • The bachelorette party has a scavenger hunt: “If you get to #8, be sure to bring mouthwash” – I really want to know what #8 is.
  • So Terrence Cook is looking more guilty. Poor Jackie.  Except we'll see neither of them this entire episode. [Who are you talking about again? - Z]
  • One of the bachelorettes lost her cell phone – Veronica dismisses this but I feel like that’s going to come back.
  • Is that…a picture of a babadook in Jane’s sister’s apartment?
Babadook's cousin?

  • I completely forgot about this Beaver/Cordelia side story and I don’t really care…
  • Logan’s not going to take the deal, and he shouldn’t.
  • Keith still doubts Cook’s guilt.  And his hunch is working out.
  • Aaron doing a bad Hannibal impression…somehow makes Cordelia show her…assets.  Gross.  I just don’t care about any of this.
  • Hannah’s parents are so serious all the time.
  • Really?  Hannah thinks her mother is judgmental because her boyfriend put together bum fights?
  • And Logan feels bad because Hannah really is a good person that he’s totally using.
  • Hahahahaha. I love that the guy Veronica’s looking for turns out to be Vinnie.  And he’s in a bowling league, because of course he is.
  • And he just grabbed a fry off of someone else’s plate.  I wonder if Ken Marino adlibbed that action.
  • Mr. Pope is back! We like him.  I like the continuity of characters on this show, especially the teachers.
  • Why does Heidi have a fax?  Why does anyone have a fax?
  • Heidi: You’re 12. Veronica: I’m 18.  Me: You’re 25.
  • Kim the bachelorette lost her cell phone! I knew it! I knew that would come back.
  • I mean – if you hadn’t heard from your fiancĂ©e in three days, would you really show up to the wedding?  Did he even look for her?
  • Except now he’s being a total dick…and yeah, I don’t buy it.  Ah, I get it.  He set her up to not show up.  I guess.  I don’t know.  It’s all weird.   But why?  What’d she do?  Did he just change his mind?  They don’t seem very well-matched at all.  This all just seems very convoluted.
  • Also, Veronica’s not dressed for a wedding. Which wouldn't stand out as much if there were only 5 guests. Can we get back to the bus crash stuff?
  • Hannah’s dad seems to be coming around…altho…he’s so drab, I just forgot everything I just watched.
  • Oh good.  A Vinnie/Veronica scene.  I’m here for it.  And I like that she knows, despite the fact he’s a sleaze, that he’s still talented at what he does.  Those little character surprise moments is something that sets this show apart from other shows. No one is just one thing.
  • I’m surprised (but not surprised) that there was no Jackie in the episode where her father was shot and also set up for the bus crash murders.

Zelda's Thoughts:

  • Oh right, V found explosives in Terrence Cook's hangar ... a plot point which both Daniel and I forgot to talk about in our last post.
  • Like we just paused the DVD and went combing through our post and the episode transcript, bewildered that we didn't talk about it at all. I guess we just hate Kristin Cavallari that much.
  • Oh right the Tinseltown Diaries episode about Aaron Echolls. The VMars version of E! True Hollywood Story.
  • Ugh Aaron Echolls, you are the fucking worst.
  • "The Manns are like the oldest money in Neptune." "You mean like from the '80s?"
  • wuh oh, Jane's sister is missing
  • So I don't actually remember what the explanation is for why there were explosives in Terrrence Cook's hanger.
  • V's calling out Logan on dating Dr. Griffith's daughter, and she's not wrong but I do think at this point he cares. And then he deflects with "you're cute when you're jealous" and I kinda wanna punch him.
I think Veronica would also like to punch him. [Thirded -D]

  • Does Heidi have a ... an unstrung violin on her wall? Why? What did that violin ever do to her?


  • oh right, I forgot about Beaver's whole shady business with Kendall. 
  • Beaver: "What have I told you about thinking?" // Kendall: "That it makes my breasts smaller?" ugh both of them (she's funny on that line, I just don't like them)
  • Cliff to Logan, "With good behavior, if you could muster some, you'd be out [of prison] in half that." I do love him
  • "I've asked around, and I hope this isn't news to you, but no one likes you."
  • I do like that Logan decided to stick with Cliff for his lawyer, both because I love Cliff and because I think a lot of lawyers would fawn and do all sorts of shady shadiness, but we know Cliff is a good guy who won't take any of Logan's shit.
  • hmmmmm Cook's car mechanic can swear that the explosives weren't there before. 
  • Oh were they planted once TC got arrested? Is that what happened? Is that what spoiler did?
  • Ugh Kendall and Aaron flirting. Everything is gross. Everyone is a slime. "Quid pro quo, Mrs. C." and then he hisses like Hannibal Lecter CAN WE PLEASE END THE SCENE
  • ugh yeah I don't feel bad for Logan, because he's STILL using Hannah, pretending to send an email to Dr. Tom from Hannah's mom, claiming to have found condoms (though I appreciate that he's using the fact that he knows neither parent wants Hannah to see him as his weapon)
  • VINNIE VAN LOWWWWWWWE
A toolbag I love to watch

  • aw shit, TCook got shot breaking into Ms. Dumas's parents' place, WHAT COULD IT MEEEEEEAN
  • Mr. Pope is giving us exposition that I know is tying in to the overarching stuff with both Woody and Beaver but eh
  • Gasp! Nick didn't send the fax that lured Heidi away
  • Wow that dude's family hired Vinnie to steal her friend's phone, send her a fake text, a fake fax, and sabotage the wedding. What a garbage family.
  • The way Heidi handles his self righteousness is kinda badass though.
  • Wow the hotel room still has a bunch of photos of Duncan and V. Why ...?
  • Aaaaaaand Kendall steals Duncan's hair so they can plant some DNA and fuck everything.

Favorite Lines:
Daniel: Vinnie: "You didn't get it from me." Veronica: "Exactly how many times have you had to say that in your life?"
Zelda: "I've asked around, and I hope this isn't news to you, but no one likes you." - Cliff

Arc/Continuity:
Neptune Roll Call: Wallace, Logan, Dick, Beaver (Absent: Duncan, Weevil, Jackie)
Recurring: Sheriff Don Lamb, Aaron Echolls, Hannah Griffith, Veronica's Other Job, Jane Kuhne, Kendall Casablancas, Cliff McCormack, Arturo, Vinnie Van Lowe, Mr. Pope, Dr. Tom Griffith 


Stats:

Dead Humans - 0
Backup Sighting - 0
Veronica Breaks In - 0
Veronica Tases Someone - 0
Mac Hacks - 0
Who's Your Daddy? - 0
Wallace Does Veronica a Favor - 0
Veronica Wants a Pony - 0
Logan Punches Someone - 0
Dick's Single Entendres - 1 ("Probably all those tossed salads, huh?")
Shenanigans Called - 0
VERONICA WAS RIGHT - 0
VERONICA WAS WRONG - 0

Tuesday, July 10, 2018

Rich Dude Kryptonite

Episode 2.14: Versatile Toppings. Original Airdate 3.15.06

" Neptune High's closeted gay teens turn to Veronica for help when a blackmailer cracks into a private Internet bulletin board and threatens to publicly out everyone associated with the site unless they pay $5,000 apiece. Meanwhile, Keith continues to work on a case for Terrance Cook while looking into bus crash leads. Also, Logan romantically pursues Hannah, much to her father's distress."

Zelda's Thoughts:

  • oh great, ECSTATIC to see that we're continuing to use trans women as a punch line in this episode
  • Terrence Cook making an OJ reference, with saying Lamb's waiting for him to make a run for it in his Bronco
  • Let's double down with some homophobia, though at least this time it's in the mouth of resident monster, Madison Sinclair
  • In this world SHIP stands for Students' Homosexual Internet ... Posting? 'kay


  • "Why can't the evil just get jobs like the rest of us?"
  • welp and Logan's giving Hannah the completely indifferent shoulder when he sees her in public, even if he's all lovey dovey in private. Because it's better if no one knows he's connected, knowing who her father is. It's kind of amazing she doesn't know about any of this
  • wow stuntcast Kristin Cavallari is ... dreadful "Sorry to blow your mind, but I'm a lesbian, Veronica." I've seen community theater acting better than that
  • V: "She's not what you'd call huggable."// Keith: "Whereas you warm right up to people?" Fair point. Also V and Jackie were adorable last episode. The writers clearly took Jackie's five ep hiatus to figure out how to make her an actual character
  • So in Dick's list of ways V is Rich Dude Kryptonite (Logan's accused of murder, Duncan flees with baby Lilly (not to mention his dead sister), and the boys she sent to jail when she was on a jury), he completely left off that one time when she caused his dad to flee the country
  • ugh, Logan even has a plausible excuse for why he pretends not to know Hannah in public - Lilly was murdered, V was almost shot when he was making out with her in his car; so he can claim it's because he wants to protect her. we know the truth
  • But Dr. Tom waits to confront Logan til Hannah's out of earshot.
  • Wheeee Keith found Terrence's alibi: no cell signal in the casino
  • And bless her, Mac doesn't want to hack the SHIP website for Veronica because she helped them build it in the first place, and doesn't want their privacy violated. "Damn you and your valid questions!"
  • Aw see, V, you can be friends with Jackie once she's written with more than one dimension
  • One of the kids on the SHIP site was one of the bus victims. Le sad.
  • Logan, still lying to Hannah, admitting he knew who her dad was, but claiming he didn't when he first met her. Logan the Liar.
  • I wonder if I would have given a tiny shit about cheerleader Kylie if Cavallari could act for even half a second. She can't even read her lines with anything approaching understanding.




Daniel's Thoughts:

  • Ok, here’s the gay episode.
  • Corny is a pizza boy….and boom, zapped….which of course is Veronica’s trademark.
  • Yay, the gay jokes have started.  Teen boys calling each other gay because that’s The Worst Thing.
  • And here’s Logan using Hannah to get back at her dad. 
  • Also Hannah’s wearing a knit hat and scarf in southern California because…winter?  It must be a really cool low 70s today. 
Where's her Parka?

  • Bradford Anderson is back.
  • And gay blackmail. Ugh, this hurts.
  • And poor Hannah.  Logan just ignores her in front of Dick.  And it’s really cruel and gross.
  • “Sorry to blow your mind, Veronica.  But I’m a lesbian.”  - lesbian cheerleader.  And I don’t believe her – not because she’s a cheerleader…– but because she’s a terrible actress.
  • And Dick, of course, makes lesbians about him.  Because that’s what straight guys do – lesbians are cool because that’s hot, but gay men are gross.  Ugh, I can’t.  I mean why am I even typing this? You guys know this.  Yeah, we’ve come a long way – but it’s still happening every fucking day.  All of this.
  • I mean obviously, Kelly the baseball player is one of the people being blackmailed…which of course he was one of the ones making fun of Dick earlier.  Because that toxic masculinity works more on us because it’s psychologically thrown onto us. Because sometimes it’s better to hide.
  • Logan’s excuse for ignoring Hannah in school is pretty lame and at this point, I’m kinda blaming Hannah a bit.
  • Veronica’s at the pizza shop waiting for the next fake call.  She’s got a notebook and I want her do be doing homework so badly, but I don’t think she is.
  • Yay! Back-up!
  • We should have had a stat for how many people get taped up to a pole.
  • “Damn you and your valid questions.”  I like that Mac doesn’t automatically do what Veronica wants without asking the ethical questions.
  • Logan pulls Hannah into a classroom – and at first I thought it was Veronica.  This was not a casting mistake.
  • “You’re gay, aren’t you?” – The music and camera cut away like it’s some damn after-school special.
  • The blackmail letter is signed Rick Santorum which is kind of amazing.
  • I hate this shit stunt casting.  The gay cheerleader is so amazingly bad.   I don’t care at all about her.
  • Is Logan really that important that every single extra needs to notice when he holds hands with a new girlfriend?

Crossfire!

Veronica
: So, are you ready to be the bait, Corny?
Corny: Hell yeah. No one better. I'm what you'd call a Master Bait!
Daniel: Corny's Single Entendre?
Zelda: I don't think he even knew he was doing it!

Favorite Lines:

Zelda: "Damn you and your valid questions!" - Veronica
Daniel: 
Veronica: "She's not what you'd call huggable." Keith: "Whereas you warm right up to people?"

Arc/Continuity:

Neptune Roll Call: Logan, Dick, Jackie (Absent: Wallace, Duncan, Weevil, Beaver)
First Appearance: Leonard Lobo, Arturo
Recurring: Corny, Kelly Kuzzio, Hannah Griffith, Terrence Cook. Madison Sinclair, Ryan, Veronica's "Office," Carmen Ruiz, Dr. Tom Griffith, Deputy Jerry Sacks, Cindy "Mac" Mackenzie, Coach Preppernau, Sheriff Don Lamb
Generally Known TV Face: Kristin Cavallari (or so the internet tells us)
Buffy Alum: Gil Birmingham (Peru Man from Inca Mummy Girl - he's also in the Twilight movies but we forgive him)

Stats:
Dead Humans - 0
Backup Sighting - 1
Veronica Breaks In - 0
Veronica Tases Someone - 0
Mac Hacks - 1
Who's Your Daddy? - 0
Wallace Does Veronica a Favor - 0
Veronica Wants a Pony - 0
Logan Punches Someone - 0
Dick's Single Entendres - 2: V: Dick, you totally nailed me [hit her car] // D: Oh man, so you're the fingernails chick from my New Year's party; "Remind me, which one of you pitches and which one catches?"
Shenanigans Called -  0
VERONICA WAS RIGHT - 0
VERONICA WAS WRONG - 0

Tuesday, July 3, 2018

Standing While Black

HAPPY 200th POST TO US! AND TO YOU! THANKS FOR JOINING US IN SUNNYDALE AND NEPTUNE!





Episode 2.13: Ain't No Magic Mountain High Enough. Original Airdate 2.08.06


"Someone steals the cash box with $12,000 at the school carnival. As accusations fly, Veronica, rather surprisingly, finds herself defending Jackie. Meanwhile, Beaver stands up to Dick, and Logan meets a bright girl named Hannah."




Daniel's Thoughts:

  • The Winter Carnival is coming up.
  • Miss Hauser is back.
  • As much as I hate Madison, her potrayer is really funny.
  • And everyone’s being an asshole to Jackie because of what her dad may or may not have done. We've seen this before with the bus driver's daughter.  
  • “What’s your poison?” “Emotionally unavailable women”
  • Aww, Beav and Mac.  YES, I WILL CHOOSE TO AWW FOR NOW.
  • Streakers.  You can so see they’re wearing something.
  • The mystery of the week is kind of a lame one, but I kinda don’t mind it.  It’s a fun who-done-it.
  • And now it’s time for, ‘Logan finds a new temporary girlfriend’
  • I almost forgot about Hannah. 
  • Ophelia, Weevil’s niece, likes powerpuff girls. Me: I LIKE POWERPUFF GIRLS.
  • That’s really awful: Voting, especially with money, to choose who gets dunked in a dunk tank? It’s like an unpopularity punishment.
  • Poor Jackie, she just keeps getting dunked.  But here’s Wallace, with new girlfriend…. purposefully missing.  I think his new girlfriend approves, which is kinda cool.


  • I like Mac’s pink extensions.
  • Ugh, Dick is awful.
  • Logan is so smarmy but charming and it works.
  • Dick is so happy to see himself on TV.
  • “What were you doing at the copy machine?"  “Making coffee?”  This exchange reminds me of the episode of Buffy where Buffy is on her bed reading and Dawn asks her what she's doing and she says, "Playing soccer."
  • Tada!
  • I really love how Clemmons and Veronica’s relationship has grown since he was smart enough to realize how much he could use her to his advantage.  Plus, there’s an admiration there, you can see.
  • Ahh, poor Hannah.  This was a setup.
  • And this episode is from 15 years ago.  Which isn’t that long ago.  But transphobia is still living large.  I think, someone like Mac, wouldn’t use a trans woman for revenge like she’s just this object who isn’t human with human feelings.  But this is also the same show who used the only openly gay kid at Neptune High for the same reason.  Because being accidently gay, or being accused of being gay is worse than anything. And do I throw out my entire like of a series because of these reasons?  Of course not.  I just have to believe that someone like Rob Thomas would grow with the times; that he wouldn’t do something like that today.  I’d like to say something like iZombie proves it, but….there are absolutely no gay characters on that show.  Having no representation can almost be worse. [Seconding all of this. - Z]
  • Veronica denies it but she totally did it for Weevil.  They’re friendssssss.



Zelda's Thoughts:

  • Rando: "Help her? She's my nemesis." V: "His nemesis? (to Madison) Did we break up?" AMAZING
  • Oh he thinks V is his nemesis because of the Kane Scholarship, right that's a thing
  • Oh right, now that Terrence Cook got arrested, Jackie's a pariah.
  • See, they give Tessa Thompson something to play that's not just bitchy-for-no-reason and she's instantly better
  • "Slushies! Get your ice cold frozen ... sugar water."
  • It's weird seeing Weevil with hair on his head (see gif above in Daniel's thoughts). Is that how they signal his fall from PCH-grace? But he's freaking adorable with his niece Ophelia.
  • ugh Mac and Beaver SAVE YOURSELF FROM HIM MAC
  • Wallace and Jane are cuties though.
  • HEY NOW SOMEONE STOLE THE CASH BOX LET THE MYSTERY BEGIN. "Yeah, so, it's gone."
  • "We all saw her lurking around." // "Lurking? You mean standing while black?" The more things stay the same, the more things don't change


  • But V's fight against injustice has been triggered, and she's on the case.
  • Meanwhile, Logan's meetcute with Hannah really is cute. It's just too bad that it's actually about getting to her dad (spoilers)
  • And Weevil won't let V get off easy with searching the backpack of tiny cute Ophelia.
  • Oh nm V's gonna assume Jackie's guilty and then feel instantly ashamed first.
  • And we can't even be surprirsed that Jackie's being unfairly targeted because of something her father may or may not have done - we saw what happened to Veronica when her Sheriff Dad had the gall to go after the Kanes for Lilly's death.
  • But Wallace reminds us why he's a lovely human, and deliberately throws as badly as possible, to give Jackie a break from the dunk tank
  • Mac and her cute pink hair, asks "are we winning" she may be adorable but uggggghhhh knowing the future
  • also fuck you Dick. you're so gross
  • also I just remembered what they do for revenge on Dick and I hate it. trans people are not punchlines, nor is being attracted to them
  • I actually can't remember who the actual culprit is, except that it's not Jackie. I remember V's showmanship because of the gifs on the internet, but I don't remember how this shakes out. This is exciting.
  • THAT'S RIGHT. Veronica lies about there being the name Nancy on the $50 bill she took.
  • "I don't care what your zip code is, trash is trash," in case we were in doubt whether Ms. Hauser is as awful and casually racist as Madison Sinclair.
  • So now we've found the framed cash, with the bill with Nancy written on it.
  • Okay so we framed Thumper for it, okay. That's cool, Thumper is the worst.
  • HAHAHA BEST RETCON, V had already made a backup copy of the keys Clemmons confiscated from her.
  • "I'm about to watch Ms. Hauser squirm in her own personal hell, if you're not doing anything ..."
  • "We marked your words before, and I don't know if you know this, but they formed this, like, totally false accusation"
  • I love V making banter and Jackie as her sideman:


  • AND FOR MY NEXT TRICK ... HE'LL CONFESS
  • aww Throwback Thursday to the photos V took of the Triton initiation last year
  • "I don't have a homepage." // "You will." Yeah bc V is friends with Mac.
  • "I stole the test." TA DAAAAAA
  • And for her encore, she finds the rest of the cash in the ceiling.
  • MS. TRASHY TRASH RACIST HAUSER STOLE THE MONEY AND THEN SPENT THE ENTIRE EPISODE POINTING FINGERS AT EVERYONE ELSE
  • I retroactively feel so bad for Deputy Sacks for having to go on a date with her.
  • Ew Madison tells Dick she's moved on to older men and I just remembered she hooks up with Lamb and then I threw up.
  • The look Logan gives Dr. Griffith. Like. That's amazing and I hate him and love him.


  • Fuck you and your transphobia, writers. For putting that transphobia into so many characters, after you dealt so much better with trans women in season one.
  • It's kind of wild how the Fitzpatricks, for all intents and purposes, didn't exist last season, but now they're wrapped into every subplot this season, including Terrence Cook's gambling debts and Logan's being framed for murder.
  • Oh right, the framing of Thumper was because Weevil did steal the money after all; he just didn't steal the full amount because Ms. Hauser was already skimming off the top. And he even hid the money in exactly the same places V suspected.
  • But V wants to go to Magic Mountain, too, so she's letting him off the hook. Him and his new car.

Favorite Lines:

Daniel: “What were you doing at the copy machine? “Making coffee?” - Clemmons & Veronica
Zelda: "We marked your words before, and I don't know if you know this, but they formed this, like, totally false accusation." - Veronica


Arc/Continuity:

Neptune Roll Call: Wallace, Logan, Weevil, Dick, Beaver, Jackie (Absent: Duncan)
First Appearance: Hannah Griffith
Recurring: Madison Sinclair, Deborah Hauser, Corny, Cora Briggs, Terrence Cook, Thumper, Cindy "Mac" Mackenzie, Principal Van Clemmons, Jane Kuhne, Dr. Tom Griffith
Generally Known TV Face: Jessy Schram
Logan's Nicknames: Princess (Hannah)


Stats:

Dead Humans - 0
Backup Sighting - 0
Veronica Breaks In - 1
Veronica Tases Someone - 0
Mac Hacks - 0
Who's Your Daddy? - 0
Wallace Does Veronica a Favor - 0
Veronica Wants a Pony - 0
Logan Punches Someone - 0
Dick's Single Entendres - 1 "See how it just slipped right out?"
Logan's Single Entendre - 1 "Shooting in a clown's mouth"
Shenanigans Called - 0
VERONICA WAS RIGHT - 0
VERONICA WAS WRONG - 0

Monday, June 25, 2018

Patrick Fitzpatrick

Episode 2.12: Rashard and Wallace Go to White Castle. Original Airdate 2.01.06


"Wallace's hopes of escaping his trouble in Chicago are dashed when Rashard's uncle accuses him in the press of a hit and run. Meanwhile, Weevil has Veronica bug a church confessional to smoke out the traitor in his biker gang, and Keith acquires the interrogation tapes from the bus crash investigation."





Zelda's Thoughts:
  • Veronica slices a beautiful slice of cake. Me: "Aw, I want it. No, I don't, I feel sick."
  • Nice to see V supporting and helping Wallace so he's not just the sidekick.
  • Keith, practicing on poor Inga's credulous simplicity, breaks into the station's computer, and makes himself an access card so he can break into Evidence.
  • I do find it cute (do I?) that he used Deputy Leo's confession to figure out how to break in
  • Molly and Felix had an old fashioned Romeo and Juliet, with only half the tragedy
  • Ugh Rashard the little shit is claiming Wallace did the hit and run and we haven't met him yet but I already hate him. Leave Wallace alone
  • "Man, is there anyone you don't think is corrupt, deep down?" // "Yes. You."
  • Oh. Hi Jackie. That was awkward.
  • "You know a good lawyer?" // "I know ... a lawyer." We all know you love Cliff, V.
  • Oh hey, Terrence Cook knew Ms. America's Next Top Model Dumas, RIP
  • Detectives WeeLo are meeting in ... I guess it's no longer Duncan's hotel room? Now it's Logan's hotel room? Was there a deed they signed over?
  • The priest's name is Patrick Fitzpatrick? What the hell was wrong with his parents?
  • heyyyy there Rashard is played by a baby BJ Britt aka Agent Triplett from Agents of SHIELD. Hi there BJ Britt! (but boooo Rashard)
  • booooo even more to his controlling uncle-manager
  • You know what? I'm tempted to call a teensy shenanigans (but I won't) on Evil Uncle's threats to call the cops or the reporter on his blackberry's speed dial, when we were just exposited by V that there's no cell service in this parking garage, but there's no way he'd know that.
  • Ugh Lars and His Terrible, No Good, Very Bad Karaoke-ing, with its double feature buddy, Upstaging Real Musician Cameo

Real Musician Cameo

  • Veronica has stumbled into the WeeLo love nest.
  • Logan making the fair-ish point that he's missing his best friend - again.
  • "No, because saving your ass with comment, it just, it works better for me."
  • Keith's now floating the theory that the dead rat on the bus was just to get the rich kids off the bus. 
  • Welp, Jackie's at the party Wallace is crashing and she's flirting with Rashard
  • Oh right, she's part of the scheme too. Along with the Deputy slash Bouncer Veronica talked to last ep
  • It's pretty clever, because they're catching Rashard off-guard, now that he thinks Wallace has been taken care of by his goons
  • And it's finally revealed! Thumper is the one dealing drugs with the Fitzpatricks
  • The writers are finally doing the work to make me not hate Jackie, after five episodes of not seeing her after I truly loathed what she did. Just in time for her to be falsely accused of theft and exonerated by Veronica next episode.
  • But whoooops Wallace isn't interested in dating her - he's seeing sweet and uncomplicated Jane
  • Ugh, it's not just Thumper. All the PCHers are dealing drugs. And then they beat the shit out of Weevil. This sucks.
  • They don't show it, though, because this show, while great at many things, is kind of shit at choreographing fights and violence. It's nearly always badly done. They need an actual fight choreographer. I get that this isn't an action show, but boo.
  • Man, and Weevil can't go through the proper channels to make Thumper pay for murdering Felix - because he has cell phone footage of Weevil kicking the shit out of Curly Moran (remember him?)
  • And now he's reduced to riding the school bus. Our Weevil needs a hug.



Daniel's Thoughts:
  • Veronica is cutting a nice slice of cake at work for Wallace to make him feel better.
  • Z and I both want it – except we both just had a big lunch and we’re feeling sick.  So….it can wait.
  • “My boyfriend just fled the country with his dead ex-girlfriend’s baby. I need a project” 
  • Man, Keith is just as bold and sneaky as his daughter.  And Poor Inga falls for it.
  • Security is seriously lax at the Neptune police department. Keith’s just breaking right into the evidence locker.
  • Weevil and Molly Fitzpatrick sitting at a cafeteria lunch table is insane because they both look like they’re in their 30s and it’s really weird.  Must. Suspend. Disbelief.

We got left back a couple of times
  • And Oh crap, Wallace did the right thing and it came back to bite him in the ass.  Welcome to the Mars family, Wallace.
  • Jackie, after 5 or so episodes tries to crawl back to Wallace and fails.  But we get to see Tessa Thompson again, so that’s cool.
  • Yay, using gay fear to convince someone to stay out of jail.  That’s not old.
  • And we’re accidently getting back into the bus crash season arc.  Jackie’s dad might be involved? 
  • The Weevil/Logan plotline continues.
  • It’s so gross how male athletes get recruited and wooed by universities.
  • So it’s Rashard’s Uncle that seems to be behind this.
  • I love when it’s karaoke night, and I love that that’s a theme.  Now someone apparently famous is singing and I don’t know who it is.
  • Veronica is so amused by Weevil and Logan working together and it’s amazing.
  • It’s a good theory that Keith has.  The rat was there to drive the rich kids off the bus.  And they knew it would work because they could afford to take a car if they needed to.
  • I’m still surprised that a school would allow that, though, legally.
  • Well hello Jackie.  Aww, Wallace is trying to warn Jackie against Rashard.  He still wuvs her. (Or it's all part of a plan...)
  • Something that’s really smart about this show.  In last week’s episode there was a weird throw-away scene where a random cop tells veronica he bounces at a club on the side and can get her in.  And now, here’s the follow up.  It helped her with this case.  It’s convenient, sure – but at least it’s not coming out of nowhere.
  • Aww, yay.  Jackie was working with them the whole time! 
  • But aww, Wallace has a new girlfriend.


Favorite Lines:
Zelda: Logan: "Can you just once save my ass without comment?" // Veronica: "No. Because saving your ass with comment, it just, it works better for me."
Daniel: Veronica: 
“My boyfriend just fled the country with his dead ex-girlfriend’s baby. I need a project.” 

Arc/Continuity:
Neptune Roll Call: Wallace, Logan, Weevil, Dick, Beaver, Jackie (Absent: Duncan)
Recurring: Veronica's Other Job, Inga, Molly Fitzpatrick, Nathan Woods, Cliff McCormack, Lars the Upstaged Karaoke Singer, Super Huge Deputy, Sheriff Don Lamb, Gia Goodman, Thumper, Liam Fitzpatrick, Jane Kuhne, Hector
Generally Known TV Face: B.J. Britt
Famous Musician Cameo: Britt Daniel, lead singer of Spoon
Veronica's Alias: UCLA Rep

Stats:
Dead Humans - 0
Backup Sighting - 0
Veronica Breaks In - 0
Keith Breaks In - 1
Veronica Tases Someone - 0
Mac Hacks - 0
Who's Your Daddy? - 0
Wallace Does Veronica a Favor - 0
Veronica Does Weevil and Logan a Favor - 1
Veronica Wants a Pony - 0
Logan Punches Someone - 0
Dick's Single Entendres - 0
Shenanigans Called - 0
VERONICA WAS RIGHT - 0
VERONICA WAS WRONG - 1 (the dead rat wasn't about Veronica)


Tuesday, June 19, 2018

We Gotta Go See a Movie or Get in a Bar Fight

Episode 2.11: Donut Run. Original Airdate 1.25.06

"When Duncan disappears with Meg's baby, Lamb must work with two FBI agents to extract as much information as possible from an uncooperative Veronica. Meanwhile, Wallace reveals the real reason he returned to Neptune, and Weevil and Logan make a breakthrough in their hunt for the rogue gang member."


Daniel's Thoughts:

  • I mean – the banter between Veronica and Logan is so amazing and it’s a testament to the actors.  This whole snow white/mopey/sleazy word play is so quick.
  • Why…is Dick giving Veronica advice?  It’s weird.  Like they’re friends?  But also, of course he’s being sleazy.
  • And Duncan and Veronica are fighting.  In public.  And the first time I saw this, man.  But I know what this is really about.  And seeing this scene, knowing what’s coming is kinda cool.  It’s like having an inside track into the mind of Veronica and her plans.
  • She’s even playing Daddy Mars, sitting in her room in her sweats, listening to sappy music.  But here’s the thing.  It’s not a total act.  She does still love Duncan; this is still an end for her.
  • And Keith is such a good dad.  He’s always there for Veronica…even when she’s playing him.
  • Even Back-up’s trying to make Veronica feel better, licking her face.
  • And then there’s Wallace.  We didn’t really see what happened after Wallace came back in the last episode but it seems like he and Veronica are fast friends again.
  • But even he doesn’t know what’s going on.  And I think that says a lot about Veronica – nothing is more important than the mission.  No time for weaknesses. 
  • Duncan’s missing.  And now Veronica’s being charged with kidnapping. With absolutely no evidence.  So there’s that.
  • There's some evidence, but it's mostly circumstantial and Veronica easily explains it away.  She understands every second of this plan.  It’s why she was born to be a detective.
  • Ken Marino!  I love when he’s on this.
  • And besides class warfare, I don’t really get why Duncan’s mom hates Veronica so much. She’s helped them out a lot.  She found her daughter’s killer.
  • I’m glad Veronica brought up the fact to Lamb that he knows the kid is better off with Duncan than with the abusive Mannings.  I still don’t know why the Mannings haven’t been prosecuted.
  • Vinnie and Veronica – keep trying to bug each other.  I love it.  I love their friendly rivalry.
  • Are they actually having a class to teach them how to use a search engine?
  • Hey, it’s FBI Agent Xena.
  • Agent Xena is kind of an asshole.
  • And I mean, it’s Lamb, so I don’t care.
  • Agent Xena says she’s interrogated al qaeda members.  She can handle a teenager.
  • SHE HAS NOT MET VERONICA.  Love this set-up.
  • Lamb likes to think he’s smart.  But Veronica is twice as smart as he is, and always a few steps ahead.
  • Like if Agent Xena talked to me that way, I would not take it.  But…I’m not Lamb.
  • Ken Marino is so good.  And I like that Vinnie is smart enough to be a match for Veronica.  She needs a challenge – even though she will always win.
  • I haven’t been talking about this B plot at all with Logan and Weevil – because I mostly don’t care.  I do like them working together, though.
  • So Wallace has an “I know what you did last summer” plot line that he’s trying to run from.
  • It’s also nice that Veronica is taking time out of her Duncan shenanigans to follow up on her best friend Wallace.
  • I remember this phone call thing –  it's a well timed recording.  Those things can trick ya. 
  • And then finally the reveal that Veronica was *gasp* working with Duncan the whole time.
  • There are two bathrooms in this tiny tiny apartment?
  • Wuvs, the fake diapers.

We wuv it!

  • And now Keith has figured it out.  He *is* a detective.
  • Keith is really upset but the things he’s saying is breaking my heart.  He’s always so worried about her.  She’s capable, sure, but she’s still his child. 
  • And of course, even when he’s upset with her – he protects her: He hid the diapers.  He played it cool with the detectives.
  • Vinnie Van Lowe was in on it too?  I guess that’s what the letter was about.  I truly forgot that part.
  • It’s such a small thing, but I’m glad there’s a photo of Lilly in Veronica’s room.


  • And that’s a wrap for Duncan Kane.


Zelda's Thoughts:

  • whoooohooooo I'm excited for this twisty turny Duncan exit
  • though I'll admit right now that I don't understand the title of the episode
  • very considerate exposition in the elevator from Logan and V about Dead Meg, the baby, and LoVe baggage
  • And Duncan lies. "Where were you yesterday?" // "I stayed home." // "No, you didn't."
  • This fight is escalating quickly. And Veronica is acting the shit out of it. Note I said Veronica, not Kristen (although she is also acting the shit out of it) because IT'S ALL AN ACT
  • Except we only know that because this is Once More With Extreme Prejudice, where we know everything and remember knowing nothing.
  • So, like, I don't remember thinking "That was a sudden and extreme fight," and that's probably because the writers had been laying the groundwork for episodes leading up to this, of Duncan not communicating with V, and V's increasing frustration over it, so it's an earned explosion in that context, but also Public Breakup is Step One in Rescue Baby Lilly
  • Man, though, she's even gotta fool Keith (and it's working - for now) by mope mope moping at home (and sneaking food to Duncan)
  • Keith is just the best. "Anything you need, honey, I'm here."
  • Daniel and I were just talking about good parents and bad parents on TV. Keith's one of the good ones. Happy Father's Day, Keith!
  • HAHAHA SHE'S LISTENING TO THE DAWSON'S CREEK THEME SONG.
  • And we're still moving forward efficiently with the Detective Ship of Weevil and Logan. What's their ship name? Weegan? Lovil? WeeLo?
  • WALLACE HI WALLACE.
  • Gasp V's getting arrested for aiding and abeting Duncan "kidnapping" the baby! We think we know the truth - that she didn't - but for once, Lamb isn't wrong.
  • Keith is worried about V's future. Even Cliff looks disheveled.
  • God I love/hate Vinnie. He's the worst/best.
  • V to Celeste: "It's kinda weird, huh? Hoping Lamb is competent rather than betting he's not."
  • Vinnie: *mimes binoculars* // Veronica: *wtf face* // Vinnie: *whispers* call me
  • V to Lamb: Let me ask you a question. Do you think the baby is better off now, with Duncan, or with the Mannings?
  • But he's just concerned about the rich Kanes being mad at him. His righteous anger at abusive parents is long gone
  • Detective Logan is sending Dick in to buy ecstasy from the PCHers
  • "You're not real complicated, are you, Dick?" // "Try not to be." Fair.
  • hahahaha and Veronica caught the bugged pen Vinnie tried to drop in her bag. I love her.
  • Search Engine Olympics? What garbage class is this?
  • PLANET ZOWIE. HOW IS THAT A SEARCH ENGINE
  • Gasp! V discovers that Wallace was on the basketball team in Chicago, and lied about it
  • welp Hector is selling drugs
  • I love me some WeeLo espionage
  • HI LUCY LAWLESS HI
  • I loved you on Sporadicus
  • Lamb: "Veronica, why don't you wait outside in the hall?" // V: "Why don't you?" I just love how little she thinks of him. And how little Lucy Xena Cylon Lawless thinks of him.
  • Omg stop trying to flirt with Lucy Lawless, Lamb. She's so out of your league, she's out of your Battlestar Galaxy (I'm a little bit sorry but I also am not editing this out of my notes)
  • hahahah oh man the FBI agents really enjoy how much V mocks Lamb. They are us and we are they.
  • Veronica finds Vinnie camped out in a van watching her. "Mornin', Sam." // "Mornin', Ralph. Fritter?"
  • Hmmmmm. Now WeeLo are having a meeting in the boy's bathroom. Is this WeeLo's Office?
  • Weevil's shoulder tattoo says "The Good Must Suffer." Ouch, Weev.


  • "You know why the Reaper was called that?" // "He lost a bet?" Mr. Nickname-Granter is mocking nicknames?
  • Aw man, Wallace's real Chicago story is sad. His buddy Rashard did a hit and run.
  • V and Duncan, staging another public conversation, even sneakier this time: a phone conversation on a tapped line, and his half is entirely pre-recorded VERONICA IS SO SMART
  • And GASP they finally let the audience in on it, V sneaking into the apartment next door, and running to kiss Duncan, before sneaking him out for real.
  • And they have their final goodbye kiss, and I cheer.
  • Did we know the Mars apartment had two bathrooms?
  • Whoops Keith found the diapers and the secret door to the Duncan apartment.
  • But he has the presence of mind to play it cool in the voicemail he leaves her because he knows someone could be listening.
  • Welcome to Mexico, Sheriff Lamb, and whomever you just inadvertently sneaked into the country in your trunk.
  • Keith: "It's not just your life you're gambling with, Veronica. I would not survive without you."
  • "You played ME, Veronica" He's so hurt. "I love you, I'll always love you, but I don't know how I'll ever trust you again." ooof it hurts
  • But at least Keith destroyed the evidence before the FBI showed up
  • And then Lamb zooms right past a now-hitchhiking Duncan ... and finds the evidence of the ride-along once he pulls over.
  • This is so clever. I dig it. They even looped in Vinnie (at a price) and Astrid, to bring baby Lilly to meet Duncan in Mexico.
  • Although I gotta say, if Keith ever finds out that VINNIE was read in on the plan, but he wasn't? That's gonna sting. Same for Logan, if he ever learns the full story.
  • D: "She thinks you're Veronica." A: "Yeah so does the FBI"


Favorite Lines:

Daniel: Veronica: "I guess that makes me Snow White." Logan:"You must be on your way to see Mopey." Veronica:"How's he doing, Sleazy?" 
Zelda: Lamb: "Veronica, why don't you wait outside in the hall?" // Veronica: "Why don't you?"


Arc/Continuity:

Neptune Roll Call: Wallace, Duncan, Logan, Weevil, Dick (Absent: Beaver, Jackie)
First Appearance: Super Huge Deputy
Recurring: Kendall Casablancas, Sheriff Don Lamb, Cliff McCormack, Deputy Jerry Sacks, Vinnie Van Lowe, Celeste Kane, Coach Preppernau (previously known as only Coach or Teacher), Hector, Sean Friedrich, Thumper, Astrid
Generally Known TV Face: Lucy Xena Cylon Lawless
Logan's Nicknames: Mopey (Duncan), Angel of Mercy (Veronica)
Veronica's Nicknames: Sleazy (Logan)
Sheriff Don Lamb's Nicknames: Brer Rabbit (Veronica)


Stats:

Dead Humans - 0
Backup Sighting - 1
Veronica Breaks In - 0
Veronica Tases Someone - 0
Mac Hacks - 0
Who's Your Daddy? - 0
Wallace Does Veronica a Favor - 0
Veronica Wants a Pony - 0
Logan Punches Someone - 0
Dick's Single Entendres - "Don't make daddy hose you down."
Shenanigans Called - 0
VERONICA WAS RIGHT - 0
VERONICA WAS WRONG - 0

Tuesday, June 5, 2018

Does Truman Capote Know?

Episode 2.10: One Angry Veronica. Original Airdate 12.07.05

"Veronica's day goes from bad to worse as she is called for jury duty over a case involving two 09ers and a Hispanic woman, but finds that Neptune is even more divided than she thought. Meanwhile, Keith helps Lamb track down the missing sex tapes, the key piece of evidence in the Aaron Echolls trial."

Zelda's Thoughts:


  • Veronica is mad at Duncan on account of the whole Meg is preg and Duncan didn't tell her.
  • At least it turns out he only just found out from that letter he found, and hasn't been sitting on it for months.
  • How the garbage does Dick know Meg woke up before either Veronica or Duncan know
  • gulp the Aaron Echolls sex tape evidence got stolen
  • And Meg, after apologizing to Veronica for being out of proportion mean to V, asks V to not let the Mannings give her baby up for adoption, if anything happens to her. Given that the alternate ending of the last episode (on the DVD) is Meg's mother attempting to smother her with a pillow, is the show implying that the Mannings kinda maybe murdered their eldest daughter? It's not a far cry from their horrific treatment of Grace, which HOW ARE THEY NOT IN JAIL FOR THAT, FUCK YOU LAMB YOU INCOMPETENT SHIT, I THOUGHT YOU'D AT LEAST HOLD THEM ACCOUNTABLE FOR THAT.
  • Jury Duty time! We don't get any of the fun voir dire or the trial, we just get the post-trial jury duty deliberations, a la Twelve Angry Men, from which the episode steals its title.
  • Sheriff Lamb, talking to Keith about the missing tapes while staring at himself in the mirror as he lifts weights. Very Patrick Bateman.
  • GUYS IT'S ALBA FROM JANE THE VIRGIN HI ALBA
  • (we already quietly said hi to Todd from Scrubs)
  • ALSO HI MICHAEL HYATT WHO IS ON EVERY SHOW INCLUDING THE WIRE BUT RIGHT NOW SHE'S ON CRAZY EX GIRLFRIEND i'm fine why is everyone shouting
  • This Jury room is a Who's Who of television shows
  • aw Deputy Sacks with his ridiculous mustache
  • these jurors being shitty about their civic duty sure is fun
  • "Is the racial stuff affecting your vote?" // "Is it affecting yours?"



  • oh hi Deputy Leo.
  • oh hi Thumper trying to intimidate Veronica about the trial. great. super. awesome.
  • Yeah seriously guys never leave Logan alone with something he can snoop through. Veronica learned that the hard way.
  • awwww it's all Christmassy at the Mars home. "I'm sorry, I was looking for my apartment, but I seem to have stumbled upon some sort of magical winter wonderland instead."
  • "I'm so impressed you fit a pony into my room!"
  • Aww Keith had Mac make V's laptop all fancypants and fast running ... and then planted info about one of the players in the trial
  • which is NOT OKAY. my sister recently served on a jury (every time I get called, they reject me but whatevs) and she was telling me that the jurors can't use any outside knowledge they might happen to have; they can only use the information brought into the trial. Keith is tampering and it's not cool.
  • dammit Logan, offering a reward for the sex tape. if it were to get it back into evidence to convict his father, I'd be okay with this. and I get that he doesn't want the tabloids to get their hands on it. but he's gonna destroy them. he's part of the reason Aaron gets away with it.
  • god this shitty alpha male who condescendingly decided Veronica is the jury foreman, then spends all his time trying to boss her around. can we just punch him repeatedly? is that cool?
  • Logan didn't destroy the evidence til he made himself watch all of it first. Christ. Keith: "For that experience, you paid fifty grand?"
  • and then Keith figures out that the only person at the sheriff's office kind enough to sell the tapes to Logan would have to be Deputy Leo. I'm disappointed you stole them in the first place, Leo. wtf.
  • "I'll never, ever send two boys from good families to jail on the word of that Mexican whore." Hey look, we found Rape Culture Man. Good families = they're white and from the wealthy side of town and also MALE and therefore unimpeachable. She's a woman of color. She must be lying.
  • god this guy is the fucking worst.
  • ooooh it's time for the television contrivance of the local university that luckily is a great school, affordable (at least with scholarships), and keeps our leads local!
  • thanks for recruiting Veronica, Michael Hyatt! at least they're calling it Hearst and not UCNeptune.
  • And our Leo D'Amato is no longer a Deputy, and Aaron will (as we know) get away with it.
  • And Meg is dead, due a to a "blood clot"
  • I guess since no one makes any noise, we're to assume it was a natural cause and not foul play, but seriously what was that alternate ending last episode.
  • RIP, Meg. Veronica will rescue your kid! She promised.
  • WALLACE IS FINALLY BACK WELCOME BACK WALLACE 



  • "Happy New Year!"
  • When the knock came at the door, I jokingly said Veronica's "I was hoping it would be you" but then it was WALLACE and it was very sweet. Besties!
  • Btw, Jackie hasn't been in ANY of the episodes where Wallace has been gone. I guess she's only relevant as a love interest for Wallace? Blargh. [Blargh - Alison Bechdel]



Daniel's Thoughts:

  • It’s Christmas time.  You can tell because the students are wearing light jackets. (and Santa hats.)
  • And this lovely cafeteria morsel:



  • Dick is such a 90s boy.
  • The news from last episode – Meg woke up – has hit Veronica and Duncan.
  • Can’t they leave Lilly alone?  Who would steal those tapes.
  • So they’re not discussing what Veronica discovered about Meg’s parents and the way the kids are treated – but the way Meg is vaguely talking about not wanting her parents to get custody of her kid – Veronica doesn’t need to say anything.  She knows. 
  • Jury duty?  So does that mean Veronica’s 18?  Can they do it so soon?  I didn’t get my first summons until I was out of college, I think.
  • So they’re skipping the part where jurors are picked.  Veronica is on the jury and I guess they’ve already heard the case?  It’s right to the jury room.  That was fast.
  • Lamb is kinda douche-hot.  Shut up.  You’re all thinking it.
  • I’m surprised he’s even helping Keith out.  Why’s he being so helpful?
  • Is it the endorphins?
  • If Veronica is Foreman, why is Patronizing Douche leading it?
  • Hey it’s Alba! Jane’s grandmother from Jane the Virgin! (Great show if you haven’t seen it.)
  • “Ned Flanders type”  of course brings up the “past criminal behavior” – as if that’s an automatic guilty plea.
  • Deputy Sachs – I guess we’ll never get to see how his date with Miss Hauser went.
  • Everyone is so patronizing.  
  • Yay, Alba is the hold out.
  • HEY DEPUTY LEO IS BACK!  Man, Veronica shoulda stayed with him.
  • I’m glad Veronica isn’t sequestered but it’s a little scary that Thumper found out she was on the jury duty – and sought her out.
  • Logan and Keith are playing niceish. 
  • Inga!
  • Wow, jury duty all day and Veronica still had time to decorate the apartment for Christmas.
  • Me:  Is she drinking wine?  Keith: Are you drinking wine now?
  • This jury duty plot as the mystery of the week is kinda dull – but at least it’s a way for Veronica to get some more real world experience.
  • But I’m also really bored by it.
  • Patronizing shitbag doesn’t want to vote for an acquittal even though the vote is against him now – so it has absolutely nothing to do with wanting to leave.  Which – Surprise, surprise.
  • And there it is – complete racial bias.
  • “Let me take this moment to thank you, for the lesson in civic responsibility.”
  • What a surprise, there’s a college in Neptune.  Like that college in Sunnydale.
  • So she’s 18, half way through her senior year…and she doesn’t know where she’s going to school yet? Especially someone as driven as Veronica?

Lynda's Thoughts

  • Let me start with some hard hitting facts – I want Veronica’s jacket.
  • So we’re just diving straight into The Talk.
  • Duncan already knew about the baby and a blindsided Veronica is the only one shocked by this revelation.
  • Duncan:


  • “This has nothing to do with us”.  Oh Duncan.  You are SUCH a doof.
  • And here’s what appears to be the comedic ice-breaker Dick but is actually bomb-dropper Dick.  Meg is awake!
  • Wow, Veronica is hurt and mad and STILL her immediate plan is to help Duncan.  She really IS amazing.
  • The Kane-Echolls sex-tapes are gone and here begins a storyline that should be one episode but again has far-reaching consequences that will keep coming back to haunt us for episodes (seasons) to come.
  • Surprise is right.
  • Ugh, Meg’s parents are EVIL.
  • Meg is too sweet.  Apologising to Veronica for being awful to her oh and also asking just a teeny tiny favour.  You can totally see how easily Veronica went with the plan that involved deceiving her own dad.  How could she refuse this heart breaking request?
  • Lasagna + ice cream = jury duty
  • I remember being excused from jury duty after my boss wrote a letter and feeling so relieved they needed me so badly.  It was for a six week murder trial and there is no way at 22 I would have coped with that.
  • Aww, it’s kinda cute that Keith doesn’t know what spotting is.
  • Oh hi there Lamb’s abs.  And biceps… and… ahem.  Sorry.
  • So we’ve got new security measures in place for Veronica to try to get around at some point.  That’ll be fun!
  • Oh it’s Abuela!  And she’s speaking English!




  • And it’s Dr Akopian!




  • Wow, sooo many douchebags in one jury.
  • Ooh Abuela’s got SASS.
  • Deputy Leo is back!  This usually means bad news for him.
  • Blinky?  Humpty?  Zorro?  Bahahaha
  • Oh no, Logan is in a good mood so that means he’s about to have his heart crushed again.
  • “My name’s not dude, it’s Mr Mars”.  [If you're nasty - Janet]
  • OMG that elf hat and the dress, it’s all too adorable!



  • “I’m so impressed you fit a pony into my room” hahaha never change, V.
  • Keith talking laptop is hilarious and adorable.
  • Ohhh Keith.  Adorable AND cunning.
  • What the heck is Abuela knitting anyway because that looks like one long-ass scarf.
  • Dammit, Logan, don’t do that to yourself!
  • Aaaand there goes their only evidence.  Dammit, Logan!
  • Kindness at the sheriff’s department.  Well that took about .25 seconds for Keith to work out.
  • Douchebag’s gonna douche…
  • Oooh Dr Akopian works at Hearst and wants Veronica to attend.  What a coincidence!
  • OMG even when they’re saying thank you the PCHers are dicks!
  • I feel so bad for Leo.  He’s SUCH a sweetheart.
  • At least Keith kept him out of serious trouble.
  • Ugh.  Keith telling Veronica about Meg makes me cry every single time.  KB always breaks me!
  • And a late night knock at the Mars’ apartment door means only one thing, and that’s a visitor who’s about to rock Veronica’s world.
  • WAAAALLAAAACE!!!  I legit forgot it was him.  After such a sad scene I love this ending.


Crossfire!
Patronizing Shit: patronizes
D: Patronizing Shit
Z: That might be the character's name (seriously, the juror's names are all their tropes, not actual names)

Favorite Lines:
Zelda:  "I'm sorry, I was looking for my apartment, but I seem to have stumbled upon some sort of magical winter wonderland instead." - Keith
Daniel: “Let me take this moment to thank you for the lesson in civic responsibility.” - Veronica
Lynda: "I'm so impressed you fit a pony into my room" - Veronica


Arc/Continuity:
Neptune Roll Call: Wallace (Wallace!), Duncan, Logan, Dick (Absent: Weevil, Beaver, Jackie)
Recurring: Woody Goodman, Meg Manning, Sheriff Don Lamb, Deputy Jerry Sacks, Deputy Leo D'Amato, Lloyd Blankenship, Thumper, Veronica's other job, Inga
Generally Known TV Face: Michael Hyatt (Women's Studies Professor Juror), Robert Maschio (Sports Guy Juror), Ivonne Coll (Knitting Grandmother Juror)



Stats:
Dead Humans - 1
Backup Sighting - 0
Veronica Breaks In - 0
Veronica Tases Someone - 0
Mac Hacks - 0
Who's Your Daddy? -
Wallace Does Veronica a Favor - DOES FINALLY COMING HOME COUNT
Veronica Wants a Pony - 1
Logan Punches Someone - 0
Dick's Single Entendres - 0
Shenanigans Called - 0
VERONICA WAS RIGHT - 0
VERONICA WAS WRONG - 0