PLEASE NOTE: THIS IS A SPOILER-RICH ZONE

PLEASE NOTE: THIS IS A SPOILER-RICH ZONE. If your diet requires you to dine on Buffy Spoiler-free ... good luck with that.

Tuesday, July 21, 2015

Come On, Wacky Buffy!

Episode 6.1: Bargaining: Part 1. Original Airdate 10.2.01


"Buffy is dead, and the Scooby Gang must do the best they can without her. But concern about the way she died leads Willow to believe that she may have been pulled into a hell dimension. Unable to bear the thought of their friend enduring eternal torment, Willow, Xander, Anya, and Tara decide to perform a resurrection spell that will bring Buffy back from the dead."

Daniel's Thoughts:

  • See, I watched Buffy late and I knew there were two more seasons. So…I figured she got resurrected somehow. And we tried this with Joyce and it didn’t work.
  • It’s like we haven’t missed a beat.  I love that we start the season back at the graveyard.  Fighting the good fight.  
  • And continuity from last ep of season 5:  Willow can still communicate telepathically.
  • Buffy!  What? She’s back already?!  ...Is what no one is thinking.
  • Tara also seems to be back at full brain capacity.
  • Fire kill vampire. But breathing in fire does not kill Spike.
  • It’s September so everyone is wearing coats in southern California.  This will never not be a problem for me.
  • “That’ll put marzipan in your pie plate, bingo.”
  • Love the knock knock joke.
  • So they say they can’t let the vamp world know that Buffy is dead…yet there’s a big giant tombstone that says Buffy’s dead.  It...makes no sense.
  • Interesting that Willow & Tara have moved into Joyce’s room.  Are they paying any bills? This will be something I get annoyed about throughout this season. [See my rant in Flooded. Also probably see your rant in Flooded. - Z]
  • Poor Dawn.
  • Man, I love Buffybot
  • "Wacky Buffy" !!!
  • This fight scene between Anya and Giles is adorable.  I still think they would have been a good couple.
  • “I was being patient, but it took too long.”
  • Xander’s reasons for not telling everyone about the engagement are pure bullshit.
  • Aww, Spike.  Yeah, I can aww him once in a while.  I still think his character arc is wonky and confusing.
  • Who is that Cordelia-lite woman?
  • Heh.  Vampire’s wearing a Hanson t-shirt
Hey, remember Hanson?

  • I’m actually surprised Tara is so on board with this given how passionate she was about not messing with this stuff.
  • Very sweet, the whole “who made you the boss of us?” thing.
  • I don’t think Anya really wants Giles to go despite her snide comments.
  • ZOMBIES DON’T EAT BRAINS.  YES, GO ANYA.  IVE BEEN TRYING TO TELL PEOPLE THIS FOR YEARS.
  • I don’t get why Willow thinks Buffy is in a hell dimension.  I don't understand why any of them just assume that.
  • Buffybot’s lament of losing Spike's love is very similar to April’s of Warren.
  • Dawn curling up in Buffybot’s arms is so sweet.

  • “She’s the descendant of a toaster oven.”
  • Giles having a heart-to-heart with Buffybot.  Aww.
  • Demon Biker Bar!  Really good make-up, too.
  • Willow keeps saying Adonai which is god in Hebrew.
  • Cute deer!  Nothing bad can happen with a cute deer and will- OH NO WILLOW KILLED  A FAWN.
  • Aww, Giles.  This would never happen - it’s a month past 9/11 - that the gang would be let past security without a ticket.  Of course, it was probably filmed before that.
  • Aww, Tara’s monster: Grrr…argh.
  • Spike's in the airport?? 

  • I love when Anya hugs people. She’s new to the feeling and puts all her heart into it like a child does.


  • Giles can go back to Olivia!
  • Uh oh!  Demon motorcycle gang is-a-comin’!
  • The lighter’s not working.  Just…use the other candle!
  • It’s just if Willow was so careful, why would she try to resurrect someone with six feet of dirt between them.  Why wouldn't they at least dig her up first?
  • Run with your empty coffee cups, extras!
  • Ewww, throwing up a snake!
  • It makes sense that there’s so much that they have to go through to get Buffy back.  I’m glad they didn’t make it easy.
  • Buffybot can still kick a whole bunch of ass.
  • Nice spell, Tara!
  • “Did it work?”  “I’m sorry.”  YOU DON’T KNOW THAT. STOP MAKING ASSUMPTIONS BASED ON NOTHING, XANDER.
  • IT DID WORK AND YOU LEFT THE BODY.
  • Ick, Buffy’s body decomposed a lot in three months. 


Zelda's Thoughts:

  • Here we go!
  • Aw man Spike has his mussed hair 'scuse me while I fangirl but I love it. (be warned: I'm having major shipping flashbacks to when I first watched this season and didn't know any better)
Mussed Spike Hair is my favorite Spike Hair.

  • Spike being chummy with Giles and Tara. It's a fascinating transition from last season when they were freezing him out.
  • Oh hai Willow talking to people's brains. Another nod to her growing powers.
  • Gasp! Buffy's here! How is Buffy here? This must've been a mindfuck for first-time viewers.
  • Lot of cool subtle things in this opening vamp kill scene to let us know how the Scoobies are currently functioning, how the dynamic has shifted. How much more active they all have to be, because the bot isn't Buffy, and can't lead them the way real Buffy did. Willow has to lead.
  • Nice mix of location and parking lot for this sequence.
  • "That'll put marzipan in your pie plate, bingo!" I love it. I love it so hard.
  • Okay first shenanigan of the season. "We need the world and the underworld to believe that Buffy is alive and well." THEN WHY DID YOU BURY HER WITH A GRAVESTONE. If they wanted to keep her death a secret but still give her a grave, bury her in the backyard. Next to the zombiecat.
but this moment is gold

  • SPECIAL GUEST STAR ANTHONY STEWART HEAD WHY ARE YOU LEAVING US GILES.
  • Another new update: Tara and Willow are living in the Summers house, in Joyce's bedroom. Also they're allowed to kiss onscreen. Thanks, UPN!
  • I feel like we should track Xander's eating, since he's putting on weight this season leading up to the wedding.
  • "And you're her sweet cookie face!" // "I go by many names." I use this a lot, surprisingly.
  • Dawn's tone talking to Buffy. It's gotta be so hard. Because she feels like the big sister in a way now, since she has a better understanding of the world than the bot, but the bot looks like the person who's supposed to take care of her.
  • The bot's reaction to the model of the city is adorable.

  • 'Aren't you Mister Dicey Semantics!" Anya and Giles fighting is adorable. Also reminding me of Daniel and me.

basically us

  • NO GILES DON'T LEAVE US.
  • Spike and Dawn. I kind of love their dynamic. This is how Spike atones. He couldn't save Dawn when it counted, but he'll make sure nothing ever happens to her again. "No. I'm not leaving you to get hurt. Not again. Now deal."
  • Dawn does the same lower lid lift on certain lines that Buffy does. Just noticed that. (I don't know how else to describe this thing)
  • "You're a machine!" // "Thank you!" Aw Buffybot got broke.
  • Gasp! They're bringing Buffy back.
  • Xander made a plaque that said "Boss of Us" and put sparkles on it. I want someone to make me plaques with sparkles.
  • This conversation is important. Because the show made it clear they couldn't and shouldn't try to bring Joyce back last season. But this scene makes it clear - not only did Buffy die under magical circumstances, but they're convinced she's not necessarily just dead, but trapped in a hell dimension suffering torment, and that she deserves better than that, if they can rescue her.
  • "You know I admire your brain almost as much as your washboard abs." The line is hilarious, but I also love Spike's reaction. Because while he may have liked building his fantasy machine, he doesn't want to hear those words out of a bot when the real Buffy is in the ground.
  • "I am gonna make you good as new. I promise." There's a double meaning in that.
  • God, Dawn curling up to the stasis charging bot in Buffys' bed. It hurts. She's not her sister, but she's so close, maybe Dawn can pretend long enough to fall asleep.
  • I did not start this blog intending to have Dawn feels. I blame the internet.
  • 'She's not the descendant of a long line of mystical warriors. She's the descendant of a toaster oven."
  • I just love Buffybot's smiles. They're so sweet, so guileless. [But not Giles-less -D]

  • "I just can't help but wonder if she would have been better off without me. Buffy." it HURTS, you guys. It's a parent's guilt. No parent should outlive their child, but Watchers were made to outlive their Slayers. It's awful.
  • And there's a demon biker gang with its own bar. Okay.
  • Goodbye, Hanson-loving vampire.
  • Oh pretty location shoot for Willow. Time to slaughter a deer!
  • I like to wear white when I kill herbivores too. Just bleach any splashes out later.
  • It's pretty interesting, on the rewatch. You really can see the writers laying out the groundwork for Willow's arc, stuff you didn't realize was significant on first watch.
  • Post-deer killing, Willow wears a blood-red shirt. I see you, costume designer.
  • NO NO GILES IS GONE NO.
  • So. Here we are in Sunnydale Airport. Post-9/11. Here are the Scoobies crashing Giles's gate. Here we are.
  • I do get that 2001/2002 was an incredibly awkward time for TV and film, esp as regards certain subjects. They had to make the conscious decision whether to have 9/11 have occurred in their universe or not. I remember West Wing did a Very Special Pretentious Episode to deal with related issues, but didn't include 9/11 as canon in their universe. 
  • I'm basically writing all this so I don't have to have feelings about Giles leaving his children behind LOOK AT LITTLE DAWN YOU ARE ABANDONING THE BABY.
  • What is with all the number shirts? Earlier Xander wore 13, Willow 11, and now Dawn's wearing 7.
  • "Don't you have a life or something?" // "I suppose that's the question, really. Just be careful, please."
  • STOP IT SHOW.
  • THERE IS A SHOT OF SUNNYDALE AIRPORT WE CAN'T EVEN PRETEND THAT WAS LAX Y'ALL

  • Spell time! Willow anoints herself with the blood of the innocent. That's how Bernadette Peters has such good skin. True facts.
  • This CGI is gross, you guys.
  • ewwwwwwwww snake vomit
  • You'd think demonbikergang would be more creative in their destruction. they're just punching out car windows with baseball bats.
  • Meanwhile, back at the grave, Willow is a glowy red column of scary, and the Scoobies are questioning their life choices.
  • Buffy's alive! And ... in a coffin.


Favorite Lines:

Daniel: "I was being patient, but it took too long." - Anya
Zelda: "That'll put marzipan in your pie plate, bingo!" - Buffybot


Arc/Continuity Stuff:

  • Recurring: Tara, Giles (I GUESS), Anya's love of monkeys in her entertainment, the show trying to educate us how zombies work
  • Anya and Xander are secretly engaged.
  • Giles is leaving us because he likes to stomp on our hearts. He is now a guest star instead of a regular.
  • Gentle reminder that Sunnydale has an airport.


Stats:

Anya's Hair - long, blonde, retro blow-out
Dead Humans - 0
Dead Undeads - 3
Dead Flashbacks - 0
Giles Unconscious - 0
Giles Cleans His Glasses - 0
Buffy Breaks a Door - 0
Evil Reveal - 0
Unevil Reveal -  0
Shenanigans Called - 1
Apocalypse Called - 0

Thursday, June 25, 2015

She Saved the World. A Lot. (Seriously, check out the stats!)

Series Stats:


Dead Humans - 146
Dead Undeads - 221
Dead Flashbacks - 9
Giles Unconscious - 14
Giles Cleans His Glasses - 19
Buffy Breaks a Door - 22
Evil Reveal - 42
Unevil Reveal - 17
Shenanigans Called - 119
Apocalypse Called - 7



Season Five Stats (including comparison to previous season):

Dead Humans - 45 (+22)
Dead Undeads - 42 (+1)
Dead Flashbacks - 2 (+2)
Giles Unconscious - 2 (+2)
Giles Cleans His Glasses - 6 (+4)
Buffy Breaks a Door - 3 (-1)
Evil Reveal - 1 (-4)
Unevil Reveal - 3 (+2)
Shenanigans Called - 25 (+5)
Apocalypse Called - 1 (=)


While the ratio of Dead Undeads vs Dead Humans still lands us overall on Yay Team Scoobies, Season Five on its own sees more dead humans than dead undeads (credit for this imbalance should probably go to Glory's massacre of the Knights Who Say Key). In the meanwhile, Giles did well, cleaning his glasses six times this season. And it's good to know our Shenanigan game is strong, with a 5 point increase on last season. Season Five did, at least, improve its game - Season Four saw no exponential growth in the stats, whereas here only Buffy's door-breaking and Evil Reveals went down.

Zelda's Thoughts:
So generally I really like Season Five. I think Buffy's arc is fantastic, and extraordinarily well-acted by SMG. I like the arc of the family of the Scoobies - over the season we see a better integration of both Tara and Anya into the group, which becomes especially important when Joyce, the matriarch, dies - it becomes a death that touches all of them, though to different degrees. On the quality of The Body alone, Season Five must be special.

That being said, it has its weaknesses. While I like the idea of Glory as a villain - a feminine Cordelia-esque snark, and distinctly nothing like the previous Big Bads of the Master, Angelus, the Mayor, lame-os Adam and Walsh, or even Faith. But in execution Glory is weakened by a mediocre performer (as is Ben - it's no heartbreak to find out he's attached to Glory, because I didn't care about him in the first place). And then there's Dawn. Another cool idea, one which threatened massive shark-jumping, but actually managed to be pretty effective. But as we know, MT annoys me a lot, so I have trouble investing in her much. Next season will be a chore where she's concerned.

But back to family. One of the things Buffy does best is - even if over the season the Scoobies may divide a bit, may be at odds - they all recognize their strength as a unit working together. This has been increasingly true with each finale, most markedly in Seasons Three and Four. Here we see the Scoobies' individual contributions being pivotal in fighting off the apocalypse - Willow (and then Tara) weaken Glory, Xander whacks her with a wrecking ball, Anya had the brilliance in the first place to use the Dagon Sphere and the Buffybot, Giles fucking smothers Ben, and Spike ... well, unfortunately, Spike fails in his part of the mission, but he was supposed to protect Dawn while all this other stuff was going on. His failure is significant in terms of his own character arc - he's been on a slow path to improvement, trying to make himself worthy of his love for Buffy, with a lot of creeptastic layovers along the way. And while his dedication to Buffy and, by extension, Dawn, is strong, he's still not fully part of the mission, or the Scoobies.

And then, of course, Joss kills Buffy. wtf, Joss? Two seasons to go! Full steam ahead, Depression Season!

Daniel's Thoughts:

I love season 5.  It's one of my favorites.  While season 4 separated everyone, season 5 brought everyone back together. Sure, sometimes that meant big tragedies like Joyce's unfortunate demise - but this season, it felt like the group of old with wonderful additions.

I never had a big problem with Glory or Dawn's actors.  I always thought Dawn acted as she was created, a bratty little sister. And I always thought Glory was a fun, crazy villain.  I also like the villainous arc of the season.  I felt Glory and in particular, the Scoobies interactions with Glory flowed well throughout the season.  There were constant things to find out and ultimately defeat.  We saw, we fought, we discovered, we protected, we ran, we had no hope, we dared to hope and then we defeated.  And I say 'we' because it felt like we were all on this journey.  And that's what this season ultimately felt like, a journey.

Tuesday, June 16, 2015

Here to Help. Want to Live.


Episode 5.22: The Gift. Original Airdate: 5.22.01 



"As Glory prepares Dawn for a bloodletting ritual that will open a portal to another dimension, Buffy and her friends prepare for battle."

Zelda's Thoughts:


  • The lame thing about the DVDs for Buffy is they don't include the Previouslies. But streaming Netflix Buffy does! The Previouslies for this ep are tied for my favorite (the other being the one where all the Previouslies consist of is Travers saying "You're fired." to Giles). The Previouslies for this ep include a frame for every episode in the series - all 99 of them. They cut faster and faster and then break to the running shot down the alley that opens the episode. Because if we're going to have a finale that, if not the end of the show, is the end of its WB run, we should end the old fashioned way - killing an ordinary vamp with her typical snark.
  • "Been a long while since I met one who didn't know me."
  • "But you're just a girl." // "That's what I keep saying." BUFFFFFFFY
  • "Blood is life, lackbrain. Why do you think we eat it? It's what keeps you going. Makes you warm. Makes you hard. Makes you other than dead. Course it's her blood." Awesome line, awesome delivery.
  • Giles yelled at Buffy. Make them stop fighting. "Tell me to kill my sister." // "She's not your sister."
  • The dialogue in this scene is killing me. "Then the last thing she'll see is me protecting her." // "You'll fail. You'll die. We all will."
  • I like the moment of Dawn demanding Glory over Ben. Because while Glory owns who she is, Ben still thinks he's a good guy and not a weak little hypocrite.
  • "I've sworn to protect this sorry world, and sometimes that means saying and doing ... what other people can't. What they shouldn't have to." foreshadowing to when he kills Ben, something Buffy can't do.
  • "I don't know how to live in this world if these are the choices. If everything just gets stripped away, I don't see the point. I just wish ... I just wish my mom was here."
  • "If Dawn dies, I'm done with it. I'm quitting." No matter which way this shakes out, this is Buffy's final fight. She either dies attempting to save Dawn, or Dawn dies and Buffy quits the fighting for good. This is her final battle (except it's not, oops).
  • It's interesting to think about this, about how Buffy approaches the final battle though. She doesn't expect to live. She doesn't really expect Dawn to survive. But she'll be damned if she lets Dawn go without a fight. Dawn is the last thing she has left in this world, Dawn is a piece of her, and she's the last piece she'll fight to protect. Buffy doesn't care whether she survives this fight or not - it's gone beyond that - her one focus is saving Dawn. Which is why she comes to the conclusion she does so peacefully.
  • Oh god. The fact that Dawn has folded her clothes neatly, is lining up her sneakers under the chair. Taking such care, knowing she's about to die. It hurts. She's just a kid.
  • "It's an omen. It's a higher power trying to tell me through bunnies that we're all gonna die, oh god." I love her delivery.
  • Man, the slap from Tara to Willow is so hard and harsh.
  • Aaaaaaaaah my Spuffy shipping heart loves this scene so much. Spike's face when she invites him back in, and his immediate covering of what it means to him. Focusing on the work.

thanks Lucas for the gifwork!

  • "I'm counting on you to protect her." // "Til the end of the world, even if that happens to be tonight." Because his love for her has expanded to protecting the people she loves. He cares for Dawn too, at this point (even if he's still indifferent to some of the Scooby gang)
  • "I know you'll never love me. I know that I'm a monster. But you treat me like a man, and that's ...." FEEEEEELINGS
  • "We few, we happy few." "We band of buggered." I love that exchange so very very much.
  • WE'RE BEING HOODWINKED RIGHT NOW. THAT'S BUFFYBOT IN THE GROUP SHOT.

We know the difference.
  • That's why Buffy's only speaking off-camera.
  • I do enjoy me some Buffysnark. Even if it's Buffybotsnark.
  • Yeah Scoobies! You fight the baddies!
  • Yay Tara's brain is back! No more badly acted crazy scenes.
  • But their power dynamic never truly shifts back to equals. Willow is the acknowledged superior witch in power, and she remains the dominant partner in the relationship. When Tara asserts her own dominance, it comes in the form of a break up. Anyway, enough with the jumping ahead, Buffy just hit Glory in the head with a giant troll hammer and it was wonderful. "You're not the brightest god in the heavens, are you?"
  • Epic scary tower battle, punctuated by Buffy repeatedly trying to get up to Dawn in time.
  • They must have had so much fun building the various levels of the tower set, and choreographing the fight across them.
  • Ugh. Doc. Here to ruin lives. "Hey, kid, wanna see a trick?" With that wink. So creepy.
  • I love the moment of Willow and Tara joining hands to repel the minions and brain sucks - a very nice callback to Hush.
  • Spike's face right before Doc throws him down. The horror. "No." He failed. He failed in his promise to Buffy. If Xander knew about this, he'd blame Spike as much as Spike does for Buffy's death.
  • Scary Giles time! Kill that Ben! rah rah shh km bah! "She's a hero, you see. She's not like us." Glasses on, suffocating on.
  • Just like with Angel and his soul and Acathla, we're just a little too late to avert the apocalypse without sacrifice.
  • And, bless her, Dawn goes running toward the edge to jump and close the portal. She can be a hero too. But the truth is, Buffy can't live with Dawn gone, too. This is the only way for Buffy to have a happy ending - if she gets to save Dawn. Save everyone. For the people she couldn't save. And then her fight can be done, and she can rest.
  • Music's started, busy crying.
  • "Buffy, no." // "Dawnie, I have to."
  • The fact that Buffy looks peaceful in a way she hasn't since Joyce died.
  • And she runs smoothly, easily, and dives down.
  • "This is the work that I have to do."
  • Willow's face. Giles's face. Spike's face.

Um...got a little sun in my eyes
  • You can see Giles wants to look away. He wants nothing more than to not see what he's seeing. And he can't look away.
  • Damn. What a way to end a show that may or may not be getting picked up by another network. "...and then our title character DIED."

Daniel's Thoughts:
  • This episode feels so much like a series finale.  Because it almost was.
  • I love that this episode starts with a typical vampire kill.
  • And what vamp still hasn’t heard of the Slayer? Duh.
  • This kid looks like he could be 50 or 17.
  • Insta-stake!  Just throw someone into wood.
  • “But you’re just a girl.” Eww.  Sexist victim.  Cue Gwen Stefani. (Song came out in '95, before Buffy began.)
  • I like Spike’s description of blood being a life force.
  • “She’s not your sister.”  Ew.  I just…don’t buy Giles saying that.
  • Shut up Spike and Giles. 
SPIKE: Why don't *you* go think outside the bleeding box.
GILES: Yes, Anya, apart from your incredibly uninfectious enthusiasm, have you anything else to contribu-
ANYA: The Dagon sphere!
GILES: Sorry?
ANYA: When Buffy first met Glory, she found that magical ...  glowy sphere that was meant to repel Glory. We've got it in the basement. It might drive her away or hurt her. Ooh!
  • The dagonsphere.  SEE.  ANYA IS AWESOME.  And Olaf’s HAMMER.     She’s so smart.
  • “Here to help, wanna live.”  SUCH A GREAT LINE.  ANYA IS A FIGHTER.  And GILES, YOU ARE ON MY LAST NERVE.
  • Seriously, they are just so mean to her.
  • Glory Glory Glory!  And Glory appears!  It’s such a horror trope– like Candyman…..or Beetlejuice.
  • Everyone’s so hard on Ben for not killing himself to save the world from the apocalypse but Dawn could do the same thing.  Is she really more innocent than he is?
  • Awww, the music.  It’s starting so early in the ep.  But we know what this music eventually means.
  • “I had the pleasure moment.”  Hehe.
  • Buffybot!
  • “It’s a higher power trying to tell me through bunnies that we’re all gonna die!”
  • Aww.  Engagement!   This will last.
  • The dagonsphere is so shiny!
  • I’m glad they remembered that Spike was barred from the Summers’ house.  Good continuity there.
  • Oooh.  I forgot about Tara pointing at Giles, “You’re a killer!”  Ramblings of a crazy person or psychic foreshadowing?
  • BUFFYBOT!  It’s cool – in the shots they were walking, we only saw Buffybot.
  • You know….kinda dumb that they never thought of the dagonsphere until now.  But… it’s still nice that they brought it back all the way from the season premiere.
  • Anya with a bat!  So awesome!
  • Awww.  Tara’s back! “I will always find you.”
  • “Did everybody else know that the slayer’s a robot?”  Heh.
  • Heh. Buffy didn’t so much throw that minion off the stairs so much…as he threw himself off.
  • This is a pretty neat set.  I like the fight choreography on that thing.
  • Oh, Joel Grey.  You’re ruining everything. [He's like communism. - Z]
  • Fake bouncy bricks!
  • And Tara’s prophesy comes true: Giles becomes a killer.  The thing is..at this point,  he didn’t need to kill Ben.  Since the moment had passed.  I imagine,  he still considers Glory a threat.
  • Oh no! The one street in Sunnydale is getting destroyed!
  • Oooh, some of the demons coming out of this apocalypse are really creepy.
  • Oh that music.
  • I still don’t 100 per cent get how Buffy’s death closes the portal.  They have the same Summers’ blood, sure – but Buffy doesn’t have key energy and it’s that blood that opens/closes the portal.
  • Why is Spike the only one sobbing? Is it the sun?  Is the sun affecting his tear ducts and nothing else?
  • She saved the world a lot.
  • Aww, what a nice series season finale.


Crossfire!
Spike: But you' treat me like a man and that's -
Daniel: *snorts**rolls eyes*
Zelda: Shut up I love it.
Favorite Lines:

Zelda: "We few, we happy few." // "We band of buggered." - Giles/Spike
Daniel:"
You're proposing to me 'cause we're gonna die! And you think it's romantic and sexy and, and you know you're not gonna have to go through with it 'cause the world's gonna end!"/" I'm proposing to you, Anya, because it's not." - Anya/Xander
Arc/Continuity Stuff:

  • Recurring: Tara, the Dagon Sphere, Olaf's Hammer, Ben, Scabby Minions, Glory, Buffybot, Anya's bunnyphobia, Doc.
  • Giles claims "six at least" apocalypses but that it feels like 100. Our count is seven apocali, but the 100 is a shoutout to this being the 100th episode.
  • Shoutout to killing Angel.
  • Xander proposes to Anya, but she tells him to give her the ring when the world doesn't end.
  • Buffy re-invites Spike to the Summers house.


Stats:


Anya's Hair - wavy, honey colored, past the shoulders
Dead Humans - 2
Dead Undeads - 4
Dead Flashbacks - 0
Giles Unconscious - 0
Giles Cleans His Glasses - 0
Buffy Breaks a Door - 0
Xander Breaks a Wall - 1
Evil Reveal - 0
Unevil Reveal - 0
Shenanigans Called - 0
Apocalypse Called - 0


Tuesday, June 9, 2015

Is Everyone Here Very Stoned?



Episode 5.21: The Weight of the World. Original Airdate 5.15.01



"When Buffy lapses into a catatonic state, Willow uses her magic to find out why; a tug-of-war erupts between Glory and Ben over Dawn's ultimate fate."





Daniel's Thoughts:

  • Eh, I don’t know why Glory is pondering why she’s not killing her minions.  She never has before.  She wuvs them.  Doesn’t mean she’s getting more human.
  • Aww.  Anya holding Giles.  This should have been a thing.  If there’s any non-relationship I ever shipped on this show, it would be this one.
  • Credits:  It’s interesting that they never put Tara (really) in the credits.  They’re better with putting the boys in.  The boyfriends, Oz, Angel, Spike & Riley…they got put in pretty much right away. It took a long time to put Anya in.   And…we know what happened with Tara.
  • Wow.  Just make Buffy comatose and Willow becomes in-charge-woman.
  • Is everyone here very stoned? HEH.  I love this whole thing about Ben and Glory where no one remembers that they’re the same person.  It becomes such an amazing recurring joke.  Comedy gold.  (Also big in the Buffy fan community.) “Ben is Glory?” [Are you saying there's a connection between them? - Z]
  • Yeah.  Sorry.  I have to call SHENANIGANS on this.  That Dawn’s blood is the key.  Because like.  The monks could have turned the key into anything.  A toaster.  A tin can.  Where’s the blood there?
  • Again.  See? Willow & Anya can get along. 
  • BABY BUFFY!  So cute.
  • How does Spike smoke, anyway,  without breath.
  • Awww, Joyce!
  • Heh. Spike just stole a blood pack.
  • “All this time he’s been subletting from her?” oy.
  • Freaky…Joyce’s grave in her bedroom.

Freaky

  • You can tell when they’re about to do a morph because the background doesn’t sync up.
  • Yeah, your job, Ben. That’s the most important thing about this.
  • Joel Grey!
  • “I don’t know which is worse, waking up in a dress not knowing where I’ve been…” – how many times have I read that on my Facebook Feed?
  • This Ben/Glory arguing scene is going on too long.
  • One (of the many) great things about this show is how fucking human, Buffy is.  How she can get depressed and anxious and feel worthless like she’s not going to win.  And then how she overcomes it.
  • Willow gets the prize for saying the title of the episode.


Zelda's Thoughts:

  • Glory's showing how similar she is to her brother by delivering a badly acted monologue.
  • It really is a cool way to go into a season's penultimate episode - with the hero in a comatose state, unable to do anything but sit and stare and grieve.
  • Willow has stepped into the leadership role here, wielding her power but also her resolve face and voice. Foreshadowing for when she takes charge of patrolling once Buffy dies (and also takes charge of bringing her back) (and also turns evil)
  • The Ben is Glory sequence is one of the best sequences ever. The entire cast is cracking me up. [Ben's with Glory? - D]
  • "Excellent. Now. Do we suspect there may be some kind of connection between Ben and Glory?"
  • I will say, Glory's hair is looking great this episode. That's the nicest thing I have to say about her performance.
  • Anya and Willow getting along, helping each other. Because family trumps their stupid animosity.
  • Ooh Willow mojoed herself into Buffy's brain.
  • BABY BUFFY.
  • So at first I wanted to call a shenanigan on Spike breaking into Glory's apartment because Ben, a human lives there, until I remembered that whole Spike Got Tortured thing so he's clearly been invited previously so I'm stupid and we can just ignore me.
  • The flashback of Buffy meeting baby Dawn is so heartbreakingly sweet because it's not real but she still remembers it - she remembers loving Dawn and wanting to take care of her, even as a child.
  • In case Daniel didn't cry WTF BAD PARENTING, Joyce and Hank came home together with Dawn. Who the hell was looking after tiny child Buffy, alone in the house?
  • "How you doing?" // "It only hurts when I answer pointless questions."
  • Spike, ever the hero, lighting his cigarette in front of a no smoking sign.

  • "Wait, wait wait. Ben - at Glory's? You're saying all this time he's been subletting from her?" // "This is gonna be worth it."
Last time, from the top.

  • Willow, standing with Buffy at Joyce's grave - "I'm sorry." // "Don't be. Death is my gift." And then she suffocates Dawn. It's horrific to watch.
  • Way too much bad Ben and Glory acting in this episode. Can we go back to comatose Buffy?
  • "How could she do this? ... I have a job. I have a life." Ben, you are a dick. 
  • But then this is the closest he gets to redemption, in trying to get Dawn away from the tower.
  • GOOD JOB NOT CATCHING FIRE AND DYING WHEN YOU DOVE INTO THE FIREPLACE, SPIKE.
  • Doc gets impaled. Doc's eyes open. Cue: "Not Dead Yet" from Spamalot.
  • Oh it's the street. The only street in Sunnydale. Look, there's the only movie theater! And the only alleyway!
  • Yay, Dawn, you hit Ben with chains. Oops Dawn you woke up Glory.
  • Bad Acting Bad Acting Bad Acting
  • So much Bad Acting
  • How come Glory's shimmery eyeshadow doesn't shift to Ben but her clothes do? Things I think about rather than listening to either of them Act Badly.
  • "This was when I quit, Will." // "You did?" // "Just for a second."
  • This is such a heartbreaking thing. It was one small moment of defeatism. Of this sure knowledge that she couldn't win. Of the desire for the fight to end. And that moment is the one crushing her. Not Glory escaping with Dawn. Not running away in the RV. That one small moment of wanting Glory to win, wanting the fight to end, wanting to relax enough to allow Glory to kill Dawn. Such a cool scene.
  • But also I love Willow's reaction. "SNAP OUT OF IT." And both Buffys are surprised by it.
  • Buffy twitches back to consciousness. And starts sobbing. My feelings.

  • nooooooooooooooooooooo the only way to close the gates once Glory opens them is to kill Dawn ... OR IS IT. Next time on OW MY FEELS

Crossfire!
Glory: Get out Get Out GET OUT
Daniel and Zelda: *lose it*
Favorite Lines:
Daniel & Zelda:

Spike: Ben! Glory! He's a doctor, she's the beast. Two entirely separate entities sharing one body. Like a bloody sitcom. Surely you remember.
Xander: So you're saying ... Ben and Glory ...
Anya: Have a connection.
Giles: Yes, obviously, but what kind?
Spike: Oh, I get it. That's very crafty. Glory's worked the kind of mojo where anyone who sees her little presto-change-o instantly forgets it. And yours truly, being somewhat over than human, stands immune.
Willow: So ... Ben and Glory are the same person?
Xander: Glory can turn into Ben, and Ben turns back into Glory.
Anya: And anyone who sees it instantly forgets.
Spike: Kewpie doll for the lady.


Arc/Continuity Stuff:

  • Recurring: Scabby Minions, Glory, Tara, brain suck victims, Joyce and Hank, Ben, the First Slayer (the Primeval), Doc
  • Everyone now knows Ben is Glory.

Except when they forget.


Stats:

Anya's Hair - honey-colored, loose curls, past the shoulders
Dead Humans - 0
Dead Undeads - 0
Dead Flashbacks - 0
Giles Unconscious - 0
Giles Cleans His Glasses - 0
Buffy Breaks a Door - 0
Spike Breaks a Door - 1
Evil Reveal - 0
Unevil Reveal -  0
Shenanigans Called - 1
Apocalypse Called - 0

Tuesday, June 2, 2015

Cold Draft of Paralyzing Fear

"Truck"
Episode 5.20: Spiral. Original Airdate 5.8.01



"Buffy and her friends flee Sunnydale when Glory closes in on Dawn."








Zelda's Thoughts:

  • Oh right. Glory.
  • Run, Buffy, run!
  • Aw stunt Buffy carrying stunt Dawn. It's really sweet since SMG is already tinier than MT.
That wig, tho.
  • Glory getting hit by a truck. Never not funny. Frankly, I laugh whenever a character gets hit by a truck. It made the S1 finale of Skins kind of awkward. (spoilers?)
  • "A truck hit her." // "Oh." // "You threw it at her?" Bless Anya, still trying to cheer Buffy's success.
  • This is bad, guys. I'm having preemptive feels, seeing everyone in their finale outfits. THAT'S WHAT GILES WEARS WHEN BUFFY IS DEAD. THAT'S WHAT ANYA WEARS WHEN BUFFY IS DEAD. This isn't going to go away.
  • Poor Buffy. She's so scared. She has to protect Dawn. She's being strong and leadery about it, but she's scared.
  • Oh look a female scabby minion.
  • Ben, stop "acting." Your monologue of pain? Dull
  • Hah Spike and his bug-eyed goggles.
"I also have SPF 10,000"
  • Oh right. The Knights. I keep forgetting about them.
  • Sure is convenient, the brain-suck victims suddenly a lot more specific about Dawn being a key (first Tara, now Orlando the Knight). Now everyone's in on the fun!
  • I like they acknowledge how easy it is to burn Spike in this ramshackle RV, when Tara pulls at the blinds
  • Also bless Spike for not being a dick about it.
  • "It just keeps coming ... Glory ... Riley ... Tara ... Mom." STOP MAKING ME FEEL FEELINGS.
  • Meanwhile, in the Inconsistent Characterization of Dawn, she's very mature and supportive sister mode this week.
  • "Arrows! They're throwing arrows!"
  • "Weapons?" // "Hello? You're driving one."
  • One of the things I love about this episode is, arguing aside, the group is really working together as a team - run as a team, fight as a team. Really reinforcing the motif of family they've been exploring this season, which will be very important when Buffy spoilers and Dawn has no biological family left (because her father is a toolbag)
  • Also goddamn Spike grabbing the sword. OW OW OW but also cool.
  • Badass Buffy roof fighting! You go, Buffy! 
  • Oh no Giles! Oh no RV!
  • Spike staggering away from the SUNLIGHT EVERYWHERE
  • "We got company. And they brought a crusade."
  • Oops Spike can't fight the Knights.
  • Scary Black-eyed Magic Willow
  • "What kind of god would demand her life for something that she has no control over?"
  • "I'm so proud of you. You've come so far. You're everything a Watcher - everything I could have hoped for." STOP WITH THE ALMOST DYING SPEECHES, GILES. NOT COOL.
  • NO BUFFY DON'T CALL BEN. HE'S A GLORY.
  • Also fuck you Ben. Just in general. But also because if you're not here to kill Dawn to keep her from Glory (which you don't do), then what you are doing is putting Dawn and Co. right in the line of Glory's fire. You dipshit.
  • Aw see. Even Xander and Spike, who hate each other, and mention said hatred frequently, are still helping each other (the Xander lighting Spike's cigarette moment). Because right now they're family.
CAN YOU FEEL THE FAMILY.
  • But the ties are loosely knotted. It's Buffy's determination to get all of them out of this alive that's holding them together.
  • "Kill the man and the god dies." YAY LET'S GO KILL BEN. BEN KILLING PARTY, ALL ARE INVITED.
  • This episode does a lot of work at setting up the finale - explaining Glory's full backstory, as well as Dawn's - but it's still so much just about the Scoobies and their bond.
  • Look at Ben, trying to act again. Give it up, Ben. [Grow a beard, Ben - D]
  • Ooops it's a Glory.
  • "Hey, it's Gregor. *kills Gregor* Now it's not." Okay that was well delivered.
  • Oh god, Buffy's face, as she's repelled by the barrier that Glory broke through.
  • And then when she breaks through, and all the Knights are dead, and Dawn is gone. Just gone.

Daniel's Thoughts:

  • Where are they?  A dorm room? Since when is their dorm on the first floor? Is it Tara's? [Decor makes it seem pretty Tara-like. - Z]
  • Did we know Glory had super speed?
  • Love Buffy’s stunt double carrying Dawn.  So obvious that it’s a stunt  double with the really bad wig.
  • Interesting that a big calamity like getting hit by a truck – body trauma – seems to be a trigger for Glory turning back into Ben.
  • And Ben, of course, isn’t as strong as Glory…
  • That must have been an awkward walk home for Ben...
"I'm...in a Frat..."  Say no more.
  • “Drop a piano on her!”  - YAY ANYA.
  • I love how Glory’s minions are such assholes to Ben.
  • “You exist only because of her divine greatness.”  It’s the first clue we have about how this Glory/Ben thing happened.
  • If Ben were a better actor, I’d feel sorry for him. 
  • RV time!
  • Wow.  Those knights are good at undercover.  /s
  • Those knights.  It’s just…they feel like they’re out of a completely different show.
  • “He doesn’t travel well.  He’s like fine shrimp.”  Hehe.
  • Anya made snacks!  Well..she brought SPAM.
  • Wow, sunlight actually hurt Spike? WHAT?
  • It’s interesting.  Buffy’s usually so closed off.  But it’s nice she’s opening up to her lil sis.
  • “At least things can’t get any crazier.” Dude….  Dawn, I’m going to start calling you Little Xander. [Comics version of Buffy is feeling the squick with that remark - Z]
  • This feels like the biggest budget they’ve had.  Being on location, nice horse/RV chase…
  • How did the knights even find them?
  • Anya using a frying pan to fight the knights.
Successful
  • Seriously, Buff.  How do you fight so well in leather pants?  I mean the chafing alone.
  • Yeah.  Spike.  You’re in real danger walking through the desert.  Sure.  Good thing you have that tiny blanket…
  • Giles omg. 
  • Spike can’t fight the knights because they’re human.
  • Ugh, Religious freaks.  Willow can outspell your god any day.
  • Oh hey, remember that time that Xander had soldier memories?  The show does.  All. The . Time.
  • Why would Ben come, knowing what he knows?
  • I love Spike rolling his eyes at Ben’s lame attempt at flirting.
  • Now I see where all the Xander/Spike slash comes from with the cigarette lighting etc.
  • Ok, so Glory has been part of Ben since he was born.  That’d be an interesting story.  Seeing baby Glory grow up.
  • Aww, See Anya and Willow can get along.  It’s nice that Anya wants to help Tara.
  • Pretty good transition between Ben/Glory.  The effects are getting better.
  • And…just like that.  No more knights.

Crossfire!
Buffy: *throws an axe into a Knight's chest*
Zelda: Is he dead?
Daniel: Yes. Oh! We haven't been counting.
Zelda: But Buffy's not allowed to kill a human.
Daniel: He got an ax in his chest. I think he's dead.
Zelda: ... people recover from that all the time.
[Editor's note: per IMDB, he is dead]
Favorite Lines:

Zelda: "Aim for the horsies." - Buffy
Daniel: "Drop a piano on her!" - Anya

Arc/Continuity Stuff:

  • Recurring: Glory, Tara, Ben, Minions, The Knights Who Say Key, Anya's obsession with shrimp (she compares a motion-sick Xander to fine shrimp), brain suck victims
  • General Forehead Guy gives us the backstory on Glory's tale of banishment and being trapped in a mortal man's body.
  • He also tells us the Key's purpose - open the gates that separate dimensions. Glory's plan is to use Dawn to open the gate and go home. But also all the gates will open and the world will go kablooey.

Stats:
Anya's Hair - honey-colored, loose curls, past her shoulders
Dead Humans - 12 + All the Knights (we're going to say an additional 20) = 22
Dead Undeads - 0
Dead Flashbacks - 0
Giles Unconscious - 1
Giles Cleans His Glasses - 0
Buffy Breaks a Door - 0
Evil Reveal - 0
Unevil Reveal - 0
Shenanigans Called - 0
Apocalypse Called - 1