PLEASE NOTE: THIS IS A SPOILER-RICH ZONE. If your diet requires you to dine on Buffy Spoiler-free ... good luck with that.

Tuesday, April 21, 2015

Bitty Buffy

Episode 5.17: Forever. Original Airdate 4.17.01

"With some help from Spike, Dawn attempts to bring Joyce back from the dead."

Daniel's Thoughts:

  • Buffy skulking around coffins usually has a different feel.
  • "Fine choice, it speaks of your great feeling for the deceased." Fuck you.
  • This whole business of profiting over death is disgusting.
  • Just cremate me and let me be food for the fishes. Even cremating costs a lot. But also, instead of sprinkling me over the ocean, can you sneak me into Disney World and sprinkle me over my favorite rides? I'll ride the Haunted Mansion forever! This...just got weird. [Done. - Z]
  • So nice that Giles is helping so much.
  • It's weird that Dawn's never actually met her dad despite her memories.
  • Spike vs. Xander....I don't care?
  • "There's no card," says Willow? Who cares? His plan wasn't to just leave it. It was to give it to Buffy directly.
  • I don't remember Xander's hair being this long.
  • Buffy is fine, Tara. She's going to wait there until someone else can pay their respects.
  • Hi Angel. You're what she needed. For now. Angel always trumps Spike. Always. [Them's fighting words! - Z]
  • Sex is not just about two bodies schmooshing. Wise words, Anya.
  • Tara would have made a good mom. She tells Dawn how it is. Willow is trying to reason with Dawn. Tara is just saying, "No. This is bad. This is why. Don't even think about it."
  • "Mom was the strong one in real life. She knew how to make things better; just what do say." Did she? Cause I have a whole blog full of things that makes me think not. Sorry, Joyce, not to speak ill of the dead, but...
  • Ugh, Ben. He's so bad at this. 'Uh, no...forget I said that.. it's not a person!"
  • Oh, Willow. You mean well, but just stop.
  • Sometimes I think Giles is the only one who understands how to talk to Anya.
  • "She gets to fondle the money?" Oh, Anya.
  • Aww, Giles is reminiscing about Joyce with the albums they listened to during Band Candy.
  • Aww, poor Jinxy is hurting so much he can't think of compliments for Glory.
  • Hey, it's Joel Grey!
  • All these warnings, Dawn. All the movies you've seen, the books you've read about this all going wrong. And you still do it. Nothing good comes from bringing someone back from the dead. (Unless they're Buffy. Always bring back Buffy.)
  • Ghora looks like a dinosaur. Like a fake fake dinosaur.
  • Why isn't it charging at her? Ugh, this is really badly done. It's like the Dinosaur ride at Disney World but less realistic.
  • Sassy eggs!
  • Tara is so smart, really. I love her in this episode.
  • I wonder if this is really Kristine Sutherland. They never show her face. I know that's on purpose for the mood of the scenes but they could have just used another actress. She's not listed in the credits.
  • Again, with the "Mommy?" It's even better than the first one because there's such hope.

Zelda's Thoughts:

  • This aired seven weeks after The Body, in case the fans had gotten through their grieving for Joyce, GUESS WHAT THERE'S MORE.
  • I was thinking last episode that Dawn was suddenly looking older. She's in braids and a t-shirt now and is younger and smaller - a reminder that Buffy's the only one who can take care of her now. (side note: fuck you, Hank Summers)
  • Even though so much sad, I'm glad they didn't do a hard tonal reset right after The Body in terms of Joyce's death and the season's plot. This is a grief that keeps going, something you still have to deal with.
  • Oh Spike. We forgot all about you.
  • I like that they're acknowledging Spike and Joyce did have a bit of a relationship, even outside his Buffy obsession. Everyone misses Joyce.
  • God. This shot of Buffy and Dawn, sitting alone on their beds, isolated, unable to move.
  • I've never been to a funeral that was held at the grave site. Is that a real thing or just a TV/film thing? [Me neither! -D]
  • Dawn can't watch Joyce's coffin be buried. And Buffy can't look away.
  • I love that Angel shows up. Whatever my feelings about him, this is right.
  • Interesting touch, Willow's in Sunnydale High colors. I wonder what the significance is.
  • I held off on this last episode because of the sads, so I'll do it now - shenanigans on the queen-size bed in Willow's and Tara's dorm.
  • "It's tomorrow that I'm worried about." // "What's tomorrow?" // "That's exactly what I don't know. Up until now, I've had a road map. Things to do every minute, having to do with Mom." // "Tomorrow the stuff of everyday living resumes." // "And everybody expects me to know how to do it, because .. I'm so strong."
  • "If I had just gotten there ten minutes earlier." Buffy's still obsessing over whether she could have saved her mom. She's still trying to bargain her way out of this.
  • The return of the Buffy/Angel love theme. Haven't heard this music in a while.
  • So Buffy sat vigil with her mom (and with Angel) all night.
  • Ugh fucking Ben and the minions. You guys suck.
  • Ben you moron. Now they know the Key is human. And you're so bad at trying to lie to cover up.
  • Goddammit Willow. Why are you showing Dawn a book with dangerous spells? Nothing about this plan is good.
  • Daniel's face while Anya's being funny is so fond and sweet. It's like he's watching his kid or something, all "I JUST LOVE EVERYTHING YOU DO."
  • "She gets to fondle the money?"
  • GILES IN A DRIVE-BY GLASSES CLEANING while Dawn steals from the Magic Box
  • And we've got more "well-meaning" adults letting Dawn do really fucking stupid things. This time it's Spike helping Dawn with her spell.
  • "I just don't like to see Summers women take it so hard on the chin, is all." Reinforcing that he's formed an attachment to more than just Buffy. (even if he still can't stand the other Scoobies)
  • Glory you are a terrible actor and I do not enjoy your presence.
  • Oh hi Joel Grey! Is it time for a song?
  • Such weird random casting, Joel Grey showing up on Buffy.
  • He's humming "Hall of the Mountain King" I think that counts as a song.
  • relatively weak line readings from MT this episode. AB too, for that matter. should I blame the directing when all the weaker actors are acting especially weak this episode? they were fine in the last episode
  • Ah, they found the Cave of Contrivance where the Ghora lives with its MacGuffin eggs.
  • "Hey, Ghora, heads up!" *Ghora raises its three heads* "Right, heads it is."
  • Wow that was like a close up shot of stunt Spike.
  • Also pretty sure they looped the same Spike line "Come on, bastard!" twice in the same fight. #awkward
  • The scene between the sisters at the end is everything, though. It's just brutal and heartbreaking.
  • "I have to do these things, 'cause when I stop, then she's really gone."
  • "Who's gonna take care of us?" Buffy's face.
  • Fuck and then the silhouette of Zombie Joyce outside the window.
  • And Buffy's voice, childlike and hopeful again. "Mommy?" Because for all that she was trying to stop Dawn, the thought that her mom might be at the door, no matter what form - it's the same thing that drove Dawn all episode.
  • And then they hold each other, sobbing. This fucking show.

Favorite Lines:

Daniel: "I can stay in town as long as you want me." // "How's forever? Does forever work for you?" - Angel/Buffy
Zelda: "I have to do these things, 'cause when I stop, then she's really gone. And I'm trying, Dawn, I am. I am really trying to take care of things, but I don't even know what I'm doing. Mom always knew." // "Nobody's asking you to be Mom." // "Well, who's gonna be if I'm not? Huh, Dawn? Have you ever thought about that? Who's gonna make things better? Who's gonna take care of us?" - Buffy/Dawn

Arc/Continuity Stuff:

  • First appearance: Doc
  • Recurring: Tara, Angel, Ben, Minions, the chicken feet that the Magic Box can't get rid of, Glory
  • Joyce is still dead.
  • Hank is still a deadbeat dad - the line he left in Spain is disconnected.
  • Shoutout to the toxicity of Xander's family.
  • Ben accidentally reveals to the minions that the Key is in human form.
  • First time Dawn steals from the Magic Box!
  • The song Giles listens to, "Tales of Brave Ulysses," is one he listened to with Joyce in Band Candy.


Anya's Hair - honey colored, loose curls, shoulder-length
Dead Humans - 0
Dead Undeads - 0
Dead Flashbacks - 0
Giles Unconscious - 0
Giles Cleans His Glasses - 1
Buffy Breaks a Door - 0
Evil Reveal - 0
Unevil Reveal - 0
Shenanigans Called - 1
Apocalypse Called - 0

Tuesday, April 14, 2015

The Body

Episode 5.16: The Body. Original Airdate 2.27.01

"Buffy, Dawn, and their friends deal with the aftermath of Joyce's death."

Note:  We apologize for the delay.  We decided to watch this episode separately because of all the emotion involved with it.  And then....we kept putting it off.   

Zelda's Thoughts:
  • no more putting this off, we've got to do this. I don't know what this post will be, or how we can talk about this episode.
  • I'm so sad already.
  • It's that short pause between "Mom?" and "Mom?" and the longer one before "Mommy?" Already crying.
  • Per the commentary, this Christmas scene was done so there wouldn't be credits running over any of the devastation.
  • And it's a nice reminder of how good things could be. And that Joyce had people who loved her, that she was mother to, even if not genetically, hosting the dinner for all the Scoobies.
  • This unbroken take, some of SMG's best acting work ever.
  • her voice gets so small and young "No I don't remember."
  • "I know this. I can do this." So many things Buffy can solve. And not this one.
  • God, Joyce's lifeless face during the CPR.
  • That pause before "The body's cold?"
  • "Should I make her warm?" That small denial she's still clinging to. Buffy's seen death. She knows what it looks like. She knows what it feels like. But it's still not real because it's her mom.
  • "She had an operation and she's fine now. She's been fine."
  • the framing in this is so good. Buffy's so small and young, no one else quite real or in focus
  • that need to be polite. "Thank you." "Good luck." trappings of how to be human, the gestures of habit, as if anything is real right now
  • how not even the violence of throwing up has any effect on her daze. it's just another unreal thing.
  • and the light outside is too harsh.
  • okay and the moment of horror when Buffy finally calls Joyce "the body." the horror of naming the thing. I don't have long periods of denial in my own grief, but they consist of not being ready to name the thing. once you've said it - the body, dead, she's gone - it's real, it's incontrovertible, you can't take it back. once you've said it, you can't shield yourself from it any longer.
  • the scene with Dawn and her friend and petty high school drama, a reminder that the rest of life keeps happening, oblivious that the world has ended
  • "the spaces around, the space in between." everything around the real thing, the thing we're not naming. the negative space around the body itself but not the body itself
  • why are there random students loitering in the hallway? they'd all have detention in my school
  • "Mom had an accident, or something went wrong from the tumor." talking around it, the negative space around the object
  • "Is she okay? Is she ... but she's okay?  But ... it's serious, but ..."
  • and we don't hear Buffy say the words. we watch from the outside as Dawn's world collapses
  • Anya, on the edge of the frame. not understanding this human experience
  • Willow, the perfectionist, the girl who must have control, if she can find the perfect thing to wear, that's something she could fix, something she could control. but nothing she wears will actually fix anything, nothing would work even if she found the shirt she wanted
  • "What will we do? What will we be expected to do?" Anya, saying the things we all wonder but don't voice - trying to figure out what the steps are, how you do this thing.
  • they're all standing, alone, holding themselves, all arms crossed protectively.
  • I almost don't have the strength to point out Willow's got another fluffy pink sweater. But for the record, she does. #14 for those keeping track at home.
  • "Things don't happen. I mean, they don't just happen." This too. Where it doesn't fit in with reality as we know it. Death doesn't make sense. A sudden lack of existence. It can't just be an arbitrary thing that happened.
  • "Am I supposed to be changing my clothes a lot? Is that the helpful thing to do?"
  • "Nobody will tell me. ... But I don't understand."
  • Fuck, Anya's speech. "No one will explain to me why!"
  • "We don't know ... how it works ... why."
  • So many things happening off screen or out of frame in this ep. So we see the moment around the thing without seeing the thing itself. We don't see Xander punch the wall, we hear it, we see Willow and Anya react, we see the hand stuck in the wall. The negative space around Xander's anger.
  • "We'll go, we'll deal, we'll help. That's what we do. We help Buffy." When you run out of things to do, you do more things. You keep busy. You fill the negative space around the object.
  • "Can we see her?" Dawn's seen only the negative space around the thing. She needs to see Joyce for it to be finally real. Buffy had to say it for it to be real; Dawn has to see it.
  • One last quick flash of the what if - if Buffy had been there to catch it, to save her, to fix it, to go back and fix it, last minute, just in time
  • And even if we haven't all been Buffy and Dawn, we've all been Tara. A bit on the outside of the grief, a sympathy grief. And a memory of your own, perhaps.
  • "Obviously, I've never done this before." // "I have."
  • Just letting her know that what she's feeling, whatever it is, is valid.
  • "I know it's different for you, because it's always different."
  • "Was it sudden?" // "No. And yes. It's always sudden."
  • Dawn looks at the sheet over Joyce. Another negative space around the thing. Still not quite a reality.
  • And because life doesn't pause just because your world ended, a vampire. A naked, grotesque vampire. And so Buffy's work must continue. Keeping busy is a way to survive when the world ends.
  • "Is she cold?" // "It's not her. It's not her. She's gone." // "Where'd she go?"
  • And the episode ends before Dawn can actually touch her. Before she can bridge that final bit of negative space. Before it's finally real.

Daniel's thoughts:

  • And it starts.  That red shirt that Z was talking about in the last episode.  That shirt we know and associate with this episode.
  • And then you just see her in the background.
  • And then you see her up close.  And you know.
  • And that "Mommy".
  • And I like that we start with a flashback. It's a breather instead of getting straight into it.  And we have out usual funny scoobies that are doing their usual scooby things.
  • Yay, Willow mentions that she's Jewish.  We should have had a stat for that.
  • Anya, re: Santa: "It's a myth that it's a myth.  He doesn't traditionally bring presents so much as, you know, disembowel children but otherwise..."
  • And then the sudden cut back to Joyce's face.
  • Oh god, the break.  The rib.
  • The lack of music, the sudden realizations.  It's just filmed so well.  Buffy turning to see her mom all over again.
  • And that part gets me everytime.  I know it's fake.  I know the waking up and the ambulance ride and the hospital scene is all fake - but that one cut back to reality just gets me.  Every. Fucking. Time.
  • Buffy's got like 4 earrings on.  Weird thing to notice.
  • "We're not supposed to move the body."  - Another powerful realization.
  • And I knew Dawn wasn't crying about this.  From the first time I saw this episode.
  • I love Dawn's friend.  Who really couldn't give a crap about her teenage problems.
  • And I don't think it's a coincidence how much Dawn's art teacher looks like Joyce.
  • Dawn wants the pretty emo kid so bad.  They're so cliche, it's gross but accurate.
  • And Dawn's reaction - Michelle T is doing an awesome job.
  • And the focus on her mom's teacher's face.
  • Xander, "Let em give me a ticket."  They, will, Xander.
  • And shut up about your shirt, Willow.
  • Willow has a powerpuff girls t-shirt!  Cause of course she does.
  • "Why do all of my shirts have stupid things on them?"  - Best self-realization of Willow ever.
  • Xander and Willow hug.  Anya & Tara nod at each other.  The writers/directors of this show know their characters well.
  • This is not the time, Willow.  Stop being so fucking condescending towards Anya.
  • I like Xander's anger.  Someone had to react that way and it would be him. [I like too that this episode plays to its actors' strengths - Aly is the best crier so she gets the tears, etc. - Z]
  • "Am I supposed to be changing my clothes a lot?"
  • Anya's whole speech.  I mean, man.  This is the thing with Anya.  The whole thing with Anya.  She doesn't act the way she does to be an asshole. Not most of the time, anyway.  She just simply doesn't know.  And no one, Xander included, thinks to fill her in.
  • Hey, Xander mentioned the Avengers!
  • Anya hugging Giles is the best.
  • "I have to lie to make you feel better."  I love the dubbed in line, there.
  • "I wish that Joyce didn't die.  Because she was nice and now we all hurt."  - "Anya, ever the wordsmith."  Stop  making excuses for your girlfriend. She's not doing anything wrong. Buffy gets it.  Buffy says 'thank you' because that's what you say when you can see someone is trying.
  • It's nice that Buffy and Tara get a moment since Tara's the only other one who's gone through this.
  • I never understood why Dawn wanted to go into the morgue until this time I noticed Buffy telling everyone that she doesn't think Dawn quite believed her.  She had to see it for herself.
  • And of course, a vamp...because this is the show.
  • Le sigh.

Favorite Lines:

Zelda: "Is she cold?" // "It's not her. It's not her. She's gone." // "Where'd she go?" - Dawn/Buffy
Daniel: "I don't understand how this all happens. How we go through this. I mean, I knew her, and then she's- There's just a body, and I don't understand why she just can't get back in it and not be dead anymore. It's stupid. It's mortal and stupid. And-and Xander's crying and not talking, and I was having fruit punch, and I thought, well, Joyce will never have any more fruit punch ever, and she'll never have eggs, or yawn or brush her hair, not ever, and no one will explain to me why." - Anya

Arc/Continuity Stuff:

  • Recurring: Joyce, Tara, Dr. Kriegel
  • Shout-out to Band Candy

Anya's Hair - golden, loopy curls, shoulder length
Dead Humans - 0 (we got Joyce last ep)
Dead Undeads - 1
Dead Flashbacks - 0
Giles Unconscious - 0
Giles Cleans His Glasses - 0
Buffy Breaks a Door - 1
Evil Reveal - 0
Unevil Reveal - 0
Shenanigans Called - 0
Apocalypse Called - 0

Wednesday, February 18, 2015

I Left My Bra in His Car

Episode 5.15: I Was Made to Love You. Original Airdate 2.20.01

"Buffy and her friends encounter an incredibly strong female robot with only one thing on its mind - love."

Daniel's Thoughts:

  • Aww.  The anticipation of the ending of this episode…
  • Aww, Puffy Xander.
  • “Or maybe you can just be Buffy; he’ll see your amazing heart and he’ll fall in love with you.”  That’s the Xander I like.  He’s rare.
  • April the robot is adorable.
  • I like Joyce’s dress from the boobs up.  The Africa pattern is a bit weird.
  • The spinning thing is very cute, though.
  • “I’ve had two boyfriends.  And they both left.  I mean really left.  Like left town, left.” 
  • TARA & ANYA talking and having a scene!  There should be more of these!
  • "Yes. I'm thinking of buying something really expensive. Maybe an antelope!"
  • I want to see the website Anya designed!
  • I love how all of Sunnydale U’s parties are themed.
  • Oh man, Buffy is using the Cordelia laugh with Ben!
  • And Willow has an ugly turtleneck on.  Quel surprise.
It was 95% off at Ugly Sweaters R Us
  • How long does it take Ben to dump his drink?
  • I like James Marsters way more than I like Spike.
  • Wow, that extra girl has been playing limbo for like 10 minutes.
Limbo is not a marathon sport.
  • Yeah, we get it: “Coffee” is Buffy.  Oh, Ben, how did you pass your medical exams?
  • Oh cool.  Willow’s going computer nerd!
  • “I left my bra in his car”. It’s nice that Joyce can tease Buffy just as much Buffy teased her earlier.
  • Aww, Oz shout out.
  • Creepy Ted mention.
  • Jeez, Spike is really good at traveling through sunlight.  In the video game, there’s an entrance in the cellar.  Also, there’s a cellar.
  • I love Giles getting all badass with Spike.  “We are not your friends.”
  • Buffy is being really transfer-y right now.

  • “She growls?  You made her so she growls?”
  • The ballad of April is so sad.  It’s nice that Buffy is waiting with her while she…lets go.
  • The actress, Shonda Farr, is really good.  Especially here as she powers down.  According to her IMDB page, she hasn't done a lot since.
  • Xander should start his own business!  It should be called "Very Good Construction." 
  • Buffybot a-comin!
  • And then…yeah.  Interesting that they did a little preview for next episode instead of waiting. I heard they were originally going to end the episode with Spike ordering a Buffybot.

Zelda's Thoughts:

  • I love this episode but also I DON'T WANT TO BECAUSE JOYCE DIES AT THE END.
  • I'm not ready.
  • "I'm alive. I can tell 'cause of the pain." Oops Buffy beat up Puffy Xander.
  • I love the actress who plays April. She's delightful. Poor April, though, her boyfriend sucks.
  • "He's a nice, normal guy, okay?" // "I think I've heard of those."
  • Joyce is all nervous and cute STAY ALIVE JOYCE.
  • "I'm thinking about buying something very expensive. Maybe an antelope."
  • I love that Anya's so smart about her money. Also computers. Daniel might have been right about Anya being the best.
  • Oh Buffy, Ben is not a good option. He's a doof. And he can't act until he grows his beard and becomes a fake lawyer. Also he's Glory.
  • Is this a commercial for chex mix? There's a closeup of Anya's snack.
  • April's hair is so shiny and pin-straight. I want to pet it.
  • Spike, again with the dumb strategy.
I just keep laughing the more I stare at it.
  • "Bloody hell! You threw me through a window. What's that about?"
  • "I've had it with super-strong little women who aren't me."
  • Poor April. This is just awful.
  • This episode is so weird. Like, a lot of funny lines, but there's just something slightly odd about everyone.
  • I just got really sad because I recognized the shirt Buffy's wearing. Motherfucker.
You know the shirt I mean.
  • Reminder that Ben is Glory, Glory is Ben.
  • Oh look, Warren is a bad boyfriend to robots and humans alike.
  • Giles is breaking out his scary Ripperness.
  • Also Spike has a reflection. 
  • I'm amazed April isn't in stilettos. Those are some comfy looking sandals.

  • Uh oh, Warren, you've ignited Buffy's rage on behalf of the abandoned women.
  • Poor Katrina. First April almost kills her, then next season Warren actually kills her.
  • "But I can be whatever you want. I love you. I'll do whatever you want."
  • Yay Katrina, you dump Warren's ass. You deserve so much better. So does April.
  • Everyone deserves better than Warren Mears.
  • "Crying is blackmail. Good girlfriends don't cry." Fuck you, Warren.
  • It's weird we get April's death scene. And we don't get Joyce's. "It's getting dark," she says, and it's so sad.
  • Do we think it's significant that April powered off before she said the word "dawn?" Asking for a friend.
  • Oh look Xander's doing his job. That's rather sweet. And he's good at it.
  • I'm actually welling up knowing what's coming. This is not okay.
  • Oh I forgot Spike showed up at the end of the episode. Kind of a fun twist, you think he put everything in the box in a rage with the intent of throwing it out, but it was actually for a bot request.
  • "Mommy?" FUCK.

Favorite Lines:
Daniel: "She speaks with a strange evenness and selects her words a shade too precisely." - Anya
Zelda: "Um, well, we listened to aggressively cheerful music sung by people chosen for their ability to dance, then we ate cookie dough and talked about boys." - Giles the Babysitter

Arc/Continuity Stuff:

  • First appearance: Warren Assface Mears, Katrina
  • Recurring: Joyce, Tara, Ben, Glory
  • Buffy's still upset about Spike's crush.
  • Shoutout to Oz. ==>
  • Warren was at Sunnydale with Buffy and crew, and knows who she is.
  • Shoutout to Ted, the other bad robot boyfriend (and none for Moloch Weiners)

Anya's Hair - blonde, curly, shoulder-length
Dead Humans - 1
Dead Undeads - 1
Giles Unconscious - 0
Giles Cleans His Glasses - 0
Buffy Breaks a Door - 0
Spike Breaks a Window with His Body - 1
Evil Reveal - 0
Unevil Reveal - 0
Shenanigans Called - 0
Apocalypse Called - 0

Tuesday, February 10, 2015

Like Lollipops at the Circus

Episode 5.14: Crush.Original Airdate 2.13.01

"Buffy learns that Spike has a crush on her - a situation made all the more dangerous by Drusilla's return to Sunnydale."

Zelda's Thoughts:

  • Oh right this is the ep that opens with All the Dancing. Including Anya being amazing. 
  • I wonder from whom Spike stole that shirt. Way too light-colored to be one of his.
  • It's sad that Spike's "diabolical fiend"-dom comes in the form of stealing Xander's change.
  • "Let's just call her - " "Ben!" WE SEE WHAT YOU DID THERE, SHOW.
  • Really? Sunnydale is the last stop on the train?
  • Oh. Harmony's here. Did we know Harmony was here?
  • "Oh, I'm gonna stake you!" Someone wasn't president of the drama club at Sunnydale High.
  • "I feel safe with you." //  "Take that back!"
  • This is just. Dawn has a crush on Spike, and the only way she knows how to demonstrate is to flatter his vanity because she knows he has a crush on her sister. It's all weird.
  • It's funny, though, when Spike's telling his horror stories to Dawn, you see major echoes of what he was like when he first showed up three seasons ago.
  • "I rip it open, very violent, haul her out of there ... and then I give her to a good family in a nice home where they're never ever mean to her, and didn't lock her in a coal bin."
  • Hey Buffy, though, you can't yell at Dawn for hanging out with Spike one minute when you keep bringing Dawn and Joyce to him for protection the next. No wonder Dawn's got mixed signals.

  • Xander's laugh about Spike's crush is amazing ----->
  • So how did Sunnydale's Finest miss the Drusilla doll on the train? Oh wait, they're deeply stupid.
  • More stolen lighter-shaded shirts for Spike. We see you, Spike. We know what you're about.
  • The vamps are making popcorn. That's so cute and domestic.
  • "Slayer." *runs away*
  • Holding the door open is actually really cute. Like he tried to trick her into a (really lame) date and he's been deflecting around, but the door was instinctual and dorky.
  • But also, with his understanding of blood, sex, and violence, it makes sense that he thought this was a good idea for a date. Insane Troll Logic sense, but you follow me, right?
  • Dear Spike, please learn to read your audience though. She's not into you.
  • "You're like a serial killer in prison!" // "Women marry them all the time!"
  • He says he's changed, but as we'll see, he hasn't yet, not really, or not enough. Anything not evil he does is done either because he likes beating up demons, or for the sake of Buffy. Drusilla's appearance cements that point clearly - he's ready to kill again when she's around.
  • "Pre'y Spoike." So. How's that accent working out for you?
  • Drusilla's trying so hard not to laugh in Harmony's face. This is kind of amazing. 

  • Spike and Dru did always have fantastic physical chemistry. The way they move with each other, sometimes barely touching, but gliding together. It's cool to watch, and a reminder of how they were both cast in the first place.
  • Oh Spike's vamp grill. Haven't seen that in a while.
  • Pretty sure Spike's crypt's lower level is bigger than Buffy's house.
  • "You can't love without a soul." // "Oh we can, you know. We can love quite well. If not wisely." Dru went all Shakespeare.
  • Further evidence of Spike's current lack of understanding - offering to kill Drusilla? Also not the way to Buffy's heart.
  • "Don't mock this." // "Go mock yourself."
  • Oh also, Spike, threatening to have Dru kill Buffy if she doesn't admit she feels something? That's like, Bad Wooing 101.
  • "The only chance you had with me was when I was unconscious." Spike's lack of understanding at first is kind of hilarious.
  • JM is great in this ep, but man is Spike fucking up left and right.
  • Yes, Spike, blame Dru, that's also a good move.
  • "This, with you, is wrong. I know it. Not a complete idiot."
  • Okay but it's kind of hilarious that while he's yelling at his two paramours, Harmony comes back and shoots him with an arrow. I really do love Harmony, even if a little goes a long way with her (she's kind of like Andrew that way)
  • So question mark. That arrow would have killed any vampire who wasn't a regular on this show, yes? Spike, owner of the tiniest heart known to vampirekind.
  • Question mark the second: Why does Buffy not go after Dru or Harmony? They're both evil vampires and not neutered like Spike is. She should stake all three of them.
  • I mean, that being said, I'm glad she didn't. But it's probably also good the Council and Giles weren't here to witness it.
  • JM is so good at the realization that he's been uninvited.
I aced my mime final.
  • Suggestion: If we stop watching with this episode, then Joyce never dies, right? Right? That's how it works, right?

Daniel's Thoughts:

  • Bronze: Anya dances like a spazz.  
She dances like me!
  • Aww, all the couples are dancing and Buffy is sitting alone.
  • I like his new brown leather jacket.
  • While I like Buffy’s meangirl attitude against Spike, she’s such a hypocrite.  She’s always asking him for favors; she even told the council that he’s one of her friends….sort of.  I don’t really know how they went over to interview him.
  • Of course the train’s last stop is Sunnydale.
  • Why is Giles babysitting?
  • Ugh, Harmony dressing up as Buffy for sexroleplay is creepy but also funny.
  • Zelda is excited that the newspaper confirmed her body count.
  • Why is Spike dressed like he’s in post-apocalyptic military garb?
Either that or he's an extra on Star Trek
  • Ew, why does Dawn all of a sudden have a crush on Spike. “You talk to me like I understand things…”.  Oh, that’s why.  Understandable-ish.
  • I do like that Spike is telling Dawn super scary stories that are also true.  Because we all should remember that Spike is a psychopathic killer.
  • And yes Buffy still comes to him for help.
  • He does not have cool hair, Dawn.
  • Dawn’s the only one that notices Spike’s ‘crush’.
  • It’s creepy that Buffy just sat in taped outline of one of the bodies.
  • Miss Edith!  Did the police not find that when they were clearing the train car?
  • Vampires love Jiffy Pop.
Coincidentally, Zelda just made some popcorn
  • Drusilla!
  • Thanks for the recap of Angel, Spike.
  • Drusilla is so amused by Harmony.  I love it.
  • What the heeeeeellll is Willow wearing? 
Is she that cold?  Does she dress in the dark?  What the ever loving hell?
  • And what the hell are the waitresses at the Bronze wearing?
Did they rename The Bronze to The Silver?
Get it? Get it? Silver? Get it?
  • Hey Spike’s a pretty good artist.  Like Angel.
  • “You’ve taken my chair and the music hasn’t stopped.”  I love Dru.
  • I feel like Spike was the first guy who shouted, “Why don’t bitches like me? I’m a nice guy.”
  • SMG looks like she can just pull her hands through those cuffs.  They’re so big
She's just playing with him.  She can get out at any time.
  • Sarah Michelle Gellar’s headshot is amongst the pictures Spike has. 


Dawn: [Spike]'s got cool hair.
Daniel: He does not have cool hair.
Zelda: Yes he does.
Dawn: (continuing) Right, that's why you were never with Angel for three years.
Daniel: Angel has cool hair.

Favorite Lines:

Zelda: "Don't mock this." // "Go mock yourself." - Spike/Buffy
Daniel: "Oh we can, you know.  We can love quite well. If not wisely." ~Drusilla

Arc/Continuity Stuff:
  • Recurring: Tara, Spike's love for the Onion Blossom, Ben, Harmony, Joyce, Drusilla
  • Continuity: The Bronze's remodel after Olaf's visit (also includes the excision of the flowering onion)
  • Willow's still nursing migraines from the teleportation spell
  • Sunnydale has a train station. In addition to its bus depot, airport, and docks.
  • Drusilla's been hanging out with the resurrected Darla in LA, trying to turn Angel. He set them on fire, so that went well.
  • Buffy discovers Spike's creepy shrine.
  • After bragging to Riley not that long ago that he remained invited to the Summers's home, Spike has finally been uninvited.


Anya's Hair - blonde, curly, shoulder length
Dead Humans - 8
Dead Undeads - 0
Giles Unconscious - 0
Giles Cleans His Glasses - 0
Buffy Breaks a Door - 0
Evil Reveal - 0
Unevil Reveal -  0
Shenanigans Called - 0
Apocalypse Called - 0

Wednesday, January 28, 2015

Kick the Spike

Episode 5.13: Blood Ties. Original Airdate 2.6.01

"When Dawn learns her true identity, she runs away - only to encounter Glory."

Daniel's Thoughts:

  • Hey! A Buffy birthday!
  • “The bigger they are…” “The faster they stomp you into nothing.”
  • Oh, the reveal.  I’m glad Buffy and Giles finally told the gang about Dawn.  It was the right time.
  • Ever notice that one of the scenes they show of Xander in the opening credits is of him peeing.
  • Oh, except they’re all acting weird.
  • So Joyce and Dawn are allowed out of the crypt now?  This was just a temporary stay? No more danger?
  • “You make a very pretty little girl!”
  • “Xander needs help with his thing!”
  • “I want the presents!”  You’ll have to wait for the 4th of July, Anya.
I wish it was mine!

  • “It’s a picture of when we visited San Diego that summer.” BECAUSE I WAS ALWAYS HERE.
  • Did Willow cut the cake without Buffy?
  • Look, Dawn’s annoying but she’s a smart girl.  She knows something is going on.
  • Teletubbies? Remember when that was a thing?
  • Shouldn't Willow’s protection spell be going off right about when Spike picks the lock?
  • Dawn’s face when she’s finding out and putting all the pieces together.
  • Wow, we’re still talking about Riley.
  • I love her reaction.  It’s heartbreaking.  I mean, imagine finding out you were blipped into existence less than six months ago.
  • The one time I’m on Spike’s side.  It wasn't his fault she found out.  Maybe she should have been told earlier.
  • I mean the amount of detail in this spell.  Holy crap. All those diaries that were just magically filled.
  • I hate the “overhearing the wrong thing" TV trope.
  • Dawn’s room is so weird. There’s a foyer!
Why is there a little room before you get to Dawn's room?!

  • Spike & Buffy are always together when they all split up.  It’s like Fred always choosing Daphne over Velma.
  • Is Buffy wearing a fur coat? In southern California?
  • Dawn is just dumb here.  Why would she just tell some random guy.  She has to know how dangerous it is.
  • Dawn seems to remember the Glory/Ben connection a lot longer than most people do.
  • I love that Glory always fights in an evening gown.
  • Willow & Tara throw glitter on Glory.  Man that’s the worst. She’ll be seeing that for weeks.  Good plan. Oh, the teleportation spell worked too.
  • I’m confused as to who or what Ben exactly is.  Is he a God too?  It seems he might just be a host? But for how long?

Zelda's Thoughts:

  • It's Happy Birthday Buffy!
  • Also YAY the Council's gone.
  • "I know way more about dimensions than Giles does. [Giles frowns] Well I do."
  • BTW we got confirmation in the comments on our last post that Nicky was indeed injured (a sprain) and that's why he's still in a cast from Olaf's attack.
  • Oh I see, now that we know Glory's a god, she's willing to say it herself? Coulda saved us a lot of time there, show.
  • Yep everyone's being weird with Dawn now that they know. But Anya wins. "You make a very pretty little girl!" "Xander needs help with his thing!"
  • Oh Dawn. No way is Glory prettier than Buffy.
  • "This is extremely suspenseful! I want the presents."
  • Oh Dawn. It's not that they don't want you to hear about Xander and Anya's escapades. It's that none of them want to hear about it. Stop bratting.
  • "I wasn't lurking. I was standing about. It's a whole different vibe."
  • "I'm breaking into the Magic Shop. To steal things." Foreshadowing!
  • So I guess the protective spell cast by Willow and Tara wasn't alerted by Spike? He really is neutered.
  • Spike is bored. "Hey! Troll hammer!" *thunk* I actually don't think I ever registered that moment before.
  • It's a pretty horrifying image, Dawn with the knife and the bleeding arm.

  • It's a problem, I know Dawn is in pain, but the "Get out Get Out GET OOOOOUT" makes me laugh.
  • "A round of Kick the Spike." Ah, memories, youth, nostalgia, all that.
  • "Blobs of energy don't need an education."
  • Oh look, my favorite trope of characters overhearing only part of a conversation and taking it the wrong way. No wait, I fucking hate this trope.
  • Dawn's breakdown in her room was pretty well done.
  • Spike's pep talk would be more effective if he didn't sound so resentful about it.
  • Shit man, that's also pretty horrifying. Dawn goes to the mental ward to see the people who see her for what she is.
  • "There've been a lot of nights I wish ... she didn't exist either." Gosh, Ben, what could you do to achieve this? there must be some thing you could dooooooooooo
  • Gasp Ben is Glory, Glory is Ben!
  • Nice of Ben to keep a dress for Glory in his locker. Wonder if any of the other interns have noticed.
  • So right now Dawn remembers that Ben is Glory, but we know that knowledge will fade away. That was not clear to me on my initial watch, and I was like "WHY ISN'T DAWN TELLING BUFFY THE WHOLE STORY."
  • Um. Shenanigans? Buffy takes Spike with her to hunt for Dawn but they don't try to use his enhanced vampire nostrils to track her?
  • I think Glory likes playing Kick the Spike.
  • Yay good job Willow and Tara! You transported Glory elsewheres.
  • "It doesn't matter where you came from, or how you got here. You are my sister. There's no way you could annoy me so much if you weren't."

Favorite Lines:

Daniel: "You make a very pretty little girl!" - Anya
Zelda: "It doesn't matter where you came from, or how you got here. You are my sister." - Buffy

Arc/Continuity Stuff:

  • First appearance: GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT
  • Recurring: Joyce, Tara, Knights of Byzantium, Glory and her minions, Olaf's Troll Hammer, Ben
  • Buffy's turning 20. So. Still not allowed to drink.
  • Glory's immortal, invulnerable, and insane, but being held in a human body is limiting her extended powers and also she's a brain sucker and is crazy.
  • All the Scoobies (including Dawn and Spike) know Dawn is the Key. So does Ben.
  • Also Ben is Glory.
  • Willow did a spell somewhat outside of her power level, and got a nosebleed for her trouble.


Anya's Hair - blonde, curly, shoulder-length
Dead Humans - 3
Dead Undeads - 0
Giles Unconscious - 0
Giles Cleans His Glasses - 0
Buffy Breaks a Door - 1
Evil Reveal - 0
Unevil Reveal - 0
Shenanigans Called - 1
Apocalypse Called - 0

Wednesday, January 21, 2015

Willow's a Demon?!

Episode 5.12: Checkpoint. Original Airdate 1.23.01

"The Watcher Council travels to Sunnydale to review Buffy's skills as a Slayer; meanwhile, Glory puts her search for the Key into high gear."

Zelda's Thoughts:

  • So this episode is good, but I'm mostly waiting for the epic smackdown at the end.
  • "Allo Buffy! Here's some stuff we know, pip pip!"
  • I wonder if Nicky Brendan actually had an arm injury. It feels pretty rare for the show to remember injuries that were a whole episode ago.
  • Oh look it's Quentin Travers. Fuck you, Quentin Travers!
  • Stop messing with Giles's shop! These guys suck so much.
  • "You all stand around and look somber. Good job." Giles snark is the best.
  • The Council is so awful. "We have information that could affect the battle against good and evil, and we don't trust Buffy, who actually puts her life on the line while we drink tea, so we're gonna be awful awful people and hold that info hostage rather than helping in the battle we've sworn ourselves to."
  • You know what, I kind of love that Buffy is paying enough attention in class that she's willing to debate whether or not he's a vampire.
  • "There was also near consensus about Columbus, you know, until someone asked the Vikings what they were up to in the 1400s, and they're like, 'discovering this America-shaped continent.'" Historical sass, what up.
  • And then her teacher is a douche. But it's all part of the motif of the episode of people trying to make Buffy feel small. 
  • Oh Spike. Buffy was working off some anger on that vamp and you took away the rush of the kill.
  • Also (why do I bother?) Parking lot! Do a shot!
  • Dear Spike, a lesson: telling Buffy it's her fault her relationships have ended badly? Really bad wooing technique. He just has ... terrible strategies. [Has everyone forgotten that I'm evil? ~Spike]
  • "Short, symmetrical, hair on top, Buffy something." I forgot the minions could be fun.
  • It's actually kind of a fun parallel - Glory's minions are asking Ben (who is useless) for more information on Buffy; Buffy's waiting for the Council (who is useless) for more information on Glory.
  • "She's not your bloody instrument, and you have no right to do any of this!" I love you, Giles.
  • They threatened Giles. Can we kill them now? Please? "Accidentally?"
  • Is the Glory scene over yet? I'm so bored by her.
  • "Giles, that Travers guy is like 60, I can't hit him ... can I?" Fantastic delivery.
  • Anya's amazing. "When I was younger and therefore smaller shorter than I am now."
  • Tara has amazing posture. 

Also, this line is amazing.

  • Wow, Xander even has a scratch on his face leftover from last week. Good job, makeup people!
  • "I don't hold with that demon nonsense. Muffin?"
  • The sequence of interrogation is delightful. The transitional lines are pretty fun.
  • Although I don't buy it that Buffy lets Spike drink from anyone. Should we just say Spike is lying?
  • Travers is the worst.
  • Giles, however, is the best. Translating the Japanese. Even if it's a bit late.
  • "How have you been training her?" // "I've trained her to win."
  • I can't wait for Travers to get blown up. Best thing Caleb ever accomplished.
  • Gasp Glory's in Buffy's house.
  • "If I wanted to fight, you could tell by the being dead already."
  • So how come Glory can't tell Dawn's the Key? Is it because she didn't lick her? She could tell without licking that Spike wasn't the Key. And by "could tell" I mean "will be able to tell in an episode we haven't blogged yet."
  • Also seriously, Dawn, you can tell Glory is dangerous, you can tell Buffy is scared and trying to protect you, and now is the time to be petulant and contrary?
  • "You're the only one strong enough to protect them." It's interesting, since she says a similar thing to Willow in the finale (well, only one strong enough to hurt Glory, but)
  • But I wonder if it means she intuits a bit about Spike's attachment to her, trusting that he'd actually act to protect two humans. She's seen that his commitment to the cause is still chiefly mercenary.
  • I totally forgot about these ridiculous Knights until right before they attacked Buffy. Because we haven't thrown enough at her this episode.
  • Seriously, why with the Knights though? Like why is that a thing. Knights, monks, all sorts of cray medieval stuff this season.
  • "Kill us and let legions follow." Sounds kinda ... Hydra-y to me.
  • Buffy gets to keep the sword! 
  • Buffy is the best. Best Buffy.
  • "Power. I have it; they don't. This bothers them."
  • "You came to beg me to let you back in. To give your jobs, your lives some sense of meaning." YEAH BUFFY.

  • "You can't stop Glory. You can't do anything with the information you have, except"
  • Bless Buffy. She even got Giles his salary paid retroactively.
  • "That's Riley-speak." // "I've clocked field time."
  • And THIS is why Buffy is the best. She recognizes she has power, but she's not there to hoard it. She empowers her friends too, recognizing their value and defending them against those who would take them down.

  • Everyone cheering at Buffy's success. Giles almost cries, he's so proud. I'm having feelings.
  • Oops Glory's a god. Buffy's eyes get just the littlest bit wider. "Oh."

Daniel's Thoughts:

  • This episode was in my tops list because of so many reasons
  • Aww, Riley left one of his many many turtlenecks
  • Shut up, Xander with your stupid fake English accent
  • Watchers are just other Giles’  Aww, Tara!
  • “You’ve always taken care of [Dawn]” ALWAYS.
  • Hey, look.  It’s Quentin McDoucheface.
  • Wow, the Magic Box has so many customers.
  • Anya is so adorable. “Yes I do. Ever since I moved here from southeastern Indiana, where I was raised by both a mother and a father.” Heh.
  • That is so me in a boring class.  Yawning, tapping pencils…  But I never spoke up as much as Buffy.  Also, stupid professor.  I had a professor once like that.
  • Spike’s leap.  His coat is so pointed, I could almost see the strings.
  • How does Buffy not know about this annoying crush.  It’s so obvi,, Buff.
  • Spike, is such a dick.
  • Do the minions know that Glory and Ben are one?  Can’t Glory just write a note to leave and then Ben gets it when they switch?
  • I’m so in love with Giles for standing up to the council.
  • Quentin McDouchbag is so damn condescending.  It’s so gross.
  • “What’s the deal with your face.” Heh.
  • I love the Magic Box table with the light in the middle.  I want that table.
  • "Anya Christina Emanuella Jenkins: twenty years old. Born on the fourth of July, and don't think there weren't jokes about that my whole life, mister, 'cause there were. 'Who's our little patriot?'they'd say, when I was younger, and therefore smaller and shorter than I am now."
  • Love when Willow and Tara have a mini-freak about revealing their relationship and then fully own their relationship…and then realize he wasn’t even asking about their relationship.
  • The ball of sunshine thing.  Should. Have. Happened.  Would have saved many lives.  Especially in season 7.
  • “What level are you at?”  “Five.”  Tara has no idea!
  • Why did they even offer up Spike to the watchers as someone to interview? SHENANIGANS!
  • Though it does give us fodder for great comedy. The female watcher being all starstruck because she did her thesis on him.
  • Quentin is reading the Japanese.  He doesn’t know.
  • The scene with Glory is intense.  She knows where she lives now…
  • Ugh, why.  Why Spike? He’s evil.  She knows this.  She’s oblivious to his crush.  At least it always feels that way.  Does she really think her family is safe there?  Send them out of town.  Paris or something.
  • I watched like five minutes of Passions once.  It was awful.
  • Oh, the knights.  The annoying, annoying knights. I forgot about the knights.
  • How do the knights know that Buffy is protecting the key?
  • This is the start of the Buffy speechifying. It works and the writers in season 7 think they can do it all over again and again. 
  • *cough*retro-actively*cough*  Oh, Giles. I love you.
  • “Willow’s a demon?!” YAYYAYAYYA.  That’s my favorite ever!
  • The celebration.  Such a full complete episode.
  • And finally the answer we’re looking for: "She’s a God."
  • And Buffy’s reaction is so good:

Favorite Lines:

Zelda: Buffy's entire speech, but highlights: "Power. I have it; they don't. This bothers them." "You're Watchers. Without a Slayer, you're pretty much just watching Masterpiece Theater. You can't stop Glory. You can't do anything with the information you have except maybe publish it in the 'Everyone Thinks We're Insane-O's Home Journal.' So here's how it's gonna work: You're gonna tell me everything you know. Then you're gonna go away." "We're talking about two very powerful witches and a thousand-year-old ex-demon ... The boy has clocked more field time than all of you combined. He's part of the unit."
Daniel: Anya's just ON this episode so I have two.  TWO.

"Anya Christina Emanuella Jenkins: twenty years old. Born on the fourth of July, and don't think there weren't jokes about that my whole life, mister, 'cause there were. 'Who's our little patriot?'they'd say, when I was younger, and therefore smaller and shorter than I am now." ~Anya

"Willow's a demon?!?" -Anya

Arc/Continuity Stuff:

  • First appearance: The Knights of Byzantium
  • Recurring: Joyce, Tara, Glory and her scabby minions, Quentin Travers, Ben
  • Giles is back from visiting the Council
  • Xander's still got his injuries from Olaf's attack in Triangle.
  • Anya's lameass made-up backstory: Anya moved here from Southeastern Indiana, where she was raised by both a mother and a father. Her full name is Anya Christina Emanuella Jenkins, she's 20 years old, and she was born on the 4th of July, making her the third Buffy character with a designated birthday. (unverified but we think so)
  • Willow's still working on that ball of sunshine.
  • Glory isn't a demon. She's a god.

Anya's Hair - blonde, shoulder-length, wavy
Dead Humans - 0
Dead Undeads - 1
Giles Unconscious - 0
Giles Cleans His Glasses - 1
Giles Cleans His Glasses So Hard They Break - 1
Buffy Breaks a Door - 0
Evil Reveal - 0
Unevil Reveal -  0
Shenanigans Called - 1
Apocalypse Called - 0