PLEASE NOTE: THIS IS A SPOILER-RICH ZONE

PLEASE NOTE: THIS IS A SPOILER-RICH ZONE. If your diet requires you to dine on television spoiler-free ... good luck with that.

REVIEW ARCHIVES

Tuesday, November 7, 2017

One Way or Another

Episode 1.12: Clash of the Tritons. Original Airdate 1.11.05

"Veronica finds herself the target of a set-up when a secret underground society within Neptune High begins planting evidence to get her in trouble. Meanwhile, Veronica learns new information about Lilly's murder by eavesdropping on private conversations, and Aaron Echolls becomes concerned about his wife."

A quick note: We are very sad to report that Brad Bufanda, who played recurring character Felix Toombs on Veronica Mars, committed suicide last week. We don't know what was happening in his life, nor should we speculate, but it's awful and we're sorry for his pain, and for the pain of his loved ones.

Zelda's Thoughts: 

  • Okay, NOW we can acknowledge that time Aaron Echolls got stabbed.
  • It's the return of Rebecca James! Hi, Rebecca James.
  • "I don't wanna talk away my grief. I wanna turn it into something else. Fuel."
  • And then Veronica switches out the staplers so she can bug Ms. James's sessions with other Lilly survivors, which is ... pretty uncool, but she has very few boundaries when it comes to solving Lilly's murder.
  • GASP Veronica has been maligned and accused of distributing fake IDs ... which she totally knows how to make, but she didn't do this time.
  • Wow she's been super framed, with fake IDs stuffed in her locker. And oops she has a couple fake IDs of her own in her wallet.
  • CLIFF IS HERE HI CLIFF I LOVE YOU
  • "Howdy, Rick. Do I know you? No. Then why did you tell Sheriff Lamb I sold you a fake ID?" // "It's what they told me to say." // "Who's they?" // "No way. They're everywhere. They will destroy me." // "I'll destroy you worse." She will, Rick. Just you wait.
  • I was squawking about Clemmons keeping Veronica's bag. Glad to see Wallace brought it to her. He's the best.
  • When Veronica asks Wallace how he'd go about getting a fake ID: "Hey Veronica, I need you to get me a fake ID so I can get some fake action from a fake cheerleader." I love that he points out the obvious, that he'd ask Veronica if he needed a fake ID. 


  • Wow, pretty tacky. Logan's locker covered in notes about his dad's newest scandal.
  • Weevil: "You know, the same day Lilly Kane died, a little girl went missing in my neighborhood. They found her body three months later. Where were the cameras when she went missing. Where was the grief counseling for HER?" Yep.
  • And Veronica listens in from her car, hidden under a tarp because she's been suspended.
  • Full confirmation that Lilly and Weevil had a relationship, while she and Logan were on the outs.
  • Francis Capra acting the hell out of this scene. "She was someone I could have loved, you know? And she felt it too, I know she did."
  • Did your high school have a secret society? HOW WOULD YOU KNOW?
  • "Why haven't I heard of them? Stupid question."
  • "Hi dad. Their case is fuzzy and circumstantial." // "You know the odd thing? Those were also her very first words."
  • First shoutout to not-yet-here Trina Echolls! (Daniel: Ugh)
  • Wallace is rather delightful as a storyteller. "You're on Candid Camera!"
  • Veronica sneaks into school, creates a fake display about cameras in the display cabinet, all so she can spy on the locker where people are dropping money for fake IDs.
  • Logan's taking Calculus as a Junior? Not bad, not bad. (My sister is scoffing and saying that's nothing, because she's a math genius and was taking math at the local university her senior year of high school)
  • Ah, so Veronica is "responsible" for Logan and Lilly having broken up right before the murder. Responsible because she told Lilly about Logan kissing someone else. "And I blame myself for being stupid, and I blame Lilly for being a bitch that week." At least he's not blaming only Veronica.
  • "And what is so great about living?" damn, Jason Dohring and your emotings. Maybe this is when we start to like Logan? Or maybe it's not til Lynn is gone.


  • Haha, I love how outraged Veronica is at the poor craftmanship of the fake IDs for which she's been framed.
  • Duncan Kane is a turrible singer. This should be confirmation he's not actually Veronica's brother.
  • YAY KRISTEN BELL WILL SING FOR US
  • Did you guys know she played Becky in the Tom Sawyer musical on Broadway? True story. She's also in the amazing Reefer Madness musical film, along with Alan Cumming and Ana Gasteyer and Neve Campbell. I like musicals, you guys.
  • Le gasp! Duncan hasn't just been on antidepressants. There's something else going on. WHAT COULD IT BEEEEEEE. COULD IT BEEEEE A RED HERRING?
  • Duncan Kane's medication is communism.
  • Damn, Duncan had a three day blackout. He doesn't remember the day of Lilly's death.
  • Ooooops. Veronica's been abducted by the Tritons. Do Ariel and Sebastian know about this?
  • Veronica from a trunk of a car, calling Wallace: "Hey, Wallace, whatcha doing? Uh huh. No I haven't seen that one."
  • Wow they locked her in her own trunk? That's kind of cold.
  • Veronica: *takes pictures of secret society* "Gotta boogie." // Tritons: CHASE CHASE. // Veronica: *does a superhero run up and jumps into her convertible and she and Wallace drive away.* Throwback Tuesday to when Angel failed to do that.
  • "And I don't have time to 'wrongfully tamper' with a government issued document if I'm stuck here in your office." complete with adorable scarequotes. Have I mentioned lately I love our Veronica?
  • I love that (okay I don't love, it's awful) the Echolls are bitterly arguing with Logan sitting right between them. Even when he interjects, they just ignore him. Until "You say another word to her, and I will kill you."
  • Aw man. Farewell, Lynn Echolls. The show done wrong by you.
  • Veronica is a smart cookie. Rick set the whole thing up, including pretending he was being inducted into the Tritons, and then shoveling further blame onto Veronica. Rick is just a shitty, tiny little human.
  • I'm sorry, Rick's outrage against Veronica is BS. He's mad because her dad busted his dad for embezzling. HIS DAD WAS EMBEZZLING. THAT IS NO MORE KEITH'S FAULT THAN LOGAN KISSING ANOTHER GIRL IS VERONICA'S FAULT. This episode is all about misdirected anger and blame. Oh. That's probably deliberate, huh.
  • This show is, like, well done.
  • Sigh. Lynn's car abandoned on a bridge.

Daniel's Thoughts: 


  • The grief sessions for Lily’s death is a little late, isn’t it?
  • “Wow, I have that exact same platitude-a-day calendar at home. It's how I know beauty comes from within."
  • Newspaper class – no Miss Poitier.
  •  Uh oh…Veronica’s starting to look guilty – considering….she does make IDs…but that’s only for herself!  Still illegal, I guess.
  • Oh wow.  Did they really need to handcuff her?
  • An extra takes a photo….with a camera. Before smartphones.  Now she has to like go develop that and stuff.
"Now. I just have to wait to finish the reel.  And then I'll have this photo in like two-four weeks."

  • Yay! Cliff!
  • “No, it has to be done in secret.”  “She has an office, Rick!” ~Rick/Me
  • My favorite part of Wallace is when he calls out Veronica.
  • I gotta say, hearing about your parents' personal lives on the radio has gotta suck.
  • The obligatory “Kids at HS extras all look at that one person and weirdly point like no one would.”
NO ONE DOES THIS

  • The one where Veronica finds out about Lilly & Weevil
  • “Secret society in school.” “Why haven’t I heard of them?  ….  Stupid question.”
  • Aaron looks okay for being stabbed in the gut.
  • “Hi Dad, their case is fuzzy and circumstantial.” “Can you believe that was her first words?”
  • I love that Veronica’s reading about the god Triton like it’s going to help with the case.  Doesn’t she have homework ever?
  • Hey, someone’s at the door….no Back-Up greeting the visitor.  What kind of dog doesn’t…?
  • Oh hey, reading about Triton did help.  Surprise surprise.
  • It’s almost like these ‘grief sessions’ were a front for Veronica’s investigations.
  • Logan, “And what is so great about living.”  Aww.  I think this is about the time we fall in love with Logan.  Also, he hasn’t been racist all episode, so…plus?
  • Hey! Kristen Bell can sing!  Maybe she should be a Disney Princess?! 


  • The kidnappers left her cell in her pocket.  Amateurs.
  • Reminds me of the Buffy episode where they summon a demon and almost sacrifice Azura Skye.
  • “Hey everybody! Say repressed homosexuality!”
  • Lynn: “I cannot take this anymore.”  And that’s the last thing she’ll ever say.
  • He messed with the wrong annoying tiny blonde!  If you want to set up someone, you don’t choose the only teen private detective in school.
Crossfire!
Tritons: chant chant chant
D: They're summoning a demon?
Z: Is it a dick demon?
Did someone say "dick demon?"


Favorite Lines:
Zelda: Sheriff Don Lamb, reading: "Veronica Mars is ... smarter than me." // Veronica: "Oh you stop it."


Daniel: "Wow, I have that exact same platitude-a-day calendar at home. It's how I know beauty comes from within." - Veronica

Arc/Continuity:
Neptune Roll Call: Logan, Wallace, Weevil, Duncan
Recurring: Rebecca James, Vice Principal Van Clemmons, Sheriff Don Lamb, Cliff McCormack, Hector, Aaron Echolls, Lynn Echolls, Deputy Jerry Sacks
Veronica's Aliases: Lilly Kane, Veronica Mars at 22 years old, San Diego State student, licensed massage therapist

Stats:
Dead Humans - 0
Backup Sighting - 0 
Veronica Breaks In - 1
Veronica Tases Someone - 0
Mac Hacks - 0
Who's Your Daddy? - 0
Wallace Does Veronica a Favor - 1 (we're counting saving her from being locked in the trunk as friendship)
Veronica Wants a Pony - 0
Logan Punches Someone - 1
Dick's Single Entendres - 0
Shenanigans Called - 0
VERONICA WAS RIGHT - 0
VERONICA WAS WRONG - 0


Tuesday, October 31, 2017

Falafels and Fellini

Episode 1.11: Silence of the Lamb. Original Airdate 1.4.05

"After setting up a new business helping classmates dig up dirt on their parents, Veronica uncovers a huge revelation about her friend Mac, which leaves her wondering if some things about your family are best left unknown. Meanwhile, Keith must team up with Sheriff Lamb to track down a serial killer in Neptune."


Daniel's Thoughts:

  • “E-string strangler” – that’s an amazing moniker.
  • Wow!  Neptune High has an actual hot dog stand in the dining area outside.   That’s why Wallace always has hot dogs.
WHAT KIND OF H.S. HAS A HOT DOG STAND?

  • Also, some of the students have so much money that they hire a violinists to play for their birthd-  nah, this is just too weird to even talk about.
  • Haha.  Veronica is making bank digging up dirt on parents.  That’s awesome.
  • DEPUTY LEO.  DEPUTY LEO. DEPUTY LEO.
  • And hey! Mac is back.
  • “I don’t think it’s  an exaggeration to say we'd rule the entire known universe.”
  • Switched at Birth.  It’s like that tv show.  I think it’s called: “I have your daughter. I have yours, too.”
  • “Do you know where I can find this ‘Devil Dave’?”  How’d he get to be the Sheriff?  Oh yeah.
  • Hey, all of Mac’s family is blonde!  Oooh.
  • Mac’s real name is Cindy.
  • Hmmm, who else has a birthday around this time?  Good thing it was mentioned earlier.
  • VERONICA MEETS DEPUTY LEO.  OMG, HE’S SO ADORKABLE.
  • “Oh my, Deputy Leo.”  INDEED.
  • Yay! It’s Aaron Paul! He’s playing a total sleaze.
  • I love how horrified Madison is to see three nerds her party. Unless it's, ya know, because she knows who Mac really is.
  • And Mac meets her real sister.  It’s so sweet and so sad and so complicated.
  • Max Greenfield’s smile – it’s  just.  *melt*
How does he DO that?

  • Weevil helping Veronica out is amazing.  This rambling string of non-coherence is just fantastic. “Heavy metal music!”
  • “I don’t see how my age has anything to do with this.” “Then you’re not reading my mind.”  I love him so much.  He’s just….as Leo, he doesn’t stop smiling ever. I think his face is stuck that way and that’s totally okay.
  • “A cop that rocks, what’ll they think of next?”
  • I’m glad Aaron Paul went on to be famous.  He could have had a career as a ‘one guest star at a time’ guy – but it only took that one job – Breaking Bad – to elevate his stardom.
  • And I will be one of his characters for HALLOWEEN TODAY - I'm gonna be Todd from Bojack Horseman
HOORAY!

  • You can see the yearning in Mac’s real mom’s face.  It’s super sad.
  • It’s strange we’ve had several scenes in a row without Veronica.  That’s abnormal for this show.
  • Aww, Veronica is seeing Deputy Leo’s band practice. 
  • Aww!  Deputy Leo saved Keith’s life!  (This is my AWW DEPUTY LEO EPISODE).
  • So Mac decides to stay in her own life….  Let’s see how this affects Mac’s character growth at all…


Zelda's Thoughts:

  • Time for the show to be like Aaron Echolls got stabbed? Doesn't ring a bell ... Check back with me next week.
  • I guess it makes sense, this episode aired in January. Had they aired in their intended order, the Christmas episode would have aired after New Year's and WE CANNOT HAVE THAT.
  • "I prefer the biker bar by the train station. I get more attention there." I love Veronica snark.
  • "I hear you do detective stuff for people." // "I do favors for friends." // "I can pay." // "Sit down, friend."
  • Madison Sinclair's parents hired a string set to play music at lunch time. How ... weird?
  • Veronica offers Deputy Lamb a banana. You see the joke is, he's a monkey.
  • I want a banana now. You see the joke is, I'm a human.
  • Aw Deputy Leo! Hi Deputy Leo!
  • "Except for the asphyxiation, the imprisonment, the body disposal, these cases have a lot in common."
  • MAC! IT'S MAC, YOU GUYS. I LOVE MAC. STAY FOREVER, MAC.
  • I love that Mac has figured out a way to better organize Veronica's new side business of digging up dirt on parents, complete with flash website.
  • Aw Veronica's using microfiche. I remember microfiche. I remember how important a part of our education it was, making sure we knew all the ways to research things. RIP, pre-internet research.
Kids, this is how we used to have to look up archived
 newspaper articles.

  • Seeeee Mac's front door has a Christmas wreath on it - more evidence this was meant to air pre-Christmas.
  • I love that Mac has a fireplace in her room and has filled it with books. I LOVE MAC.
  • GASP MAC WAS SWITCHED WITH MADISON SINCLAIR.
  • Douchebag "Wouldn't mind having her call me daddy." Sorry, douche, that's only Keith and MAYBE Jake.
  • Man, I have such mixed feelings about Veronica and Deputy Leo. They're cute, and I love Max Greenfield (though he talks like he's got marbles in his mouth on this show), but I can't get past a man in law enforcement whom we're supposed to suspect is an honorable soul, entering into a relationship with a minor, even though we know they don't have sex.
  • IT'S AARON PAUL HI AARON PAUL.
  • haha Madison's face falling when Veronica, Wallace, and Mac appear. And they scream HEY HAPPY BIRTHDAY as if they're friends. It's so cute and I love our babies.
the best

  • Oh man, Mac meeting her secret real sister. *hugs them* SHE'S READING THE WESTING GAME, SHE HAS GOOD TASTE.
  • Oh man I just realized they left Wallace at the party. That's kind of cold.
  • "I know, I'm shameless. But every time I start to feel guilty, I remind myself that Lilly would be thinking about colleges right now, or what new CD played at maximum volume would most annoy her mother, and I remember my mission." At least we're acknowledging this is mean to Deputy Leo.
  • I CAN'T UNDERSTAND A WORD YOU'RE SAYING, DEPUTY LEO.
  • Yesssssssss Weevil is part of the scheme! I love Weevil. 
  • "Good evening, Mr. Weevil, is there anything we can do for you?" This is so cute I cannot. Mr. Weevil.
  • Okay, good, at least Deputy Leo is like oh shit you're 17. Good. GOOD. 
  • "A cop that rocks? What will they think of next?"
  • Look at all those beautiful colored pencils on Veronica's desk! Why? It's pretty, but why?
  • "I say we play to our strengths?" // "So I'm good cop?" Keith mocking Lamb, always good.
  • Aaron Paul with your pretty blue eyes, you haven't even been destroyed by Walter White yet.
so innocent

  • Yay Veronica's asked Mac for more tech expertise. Let's make Mac Hacks a regular thing. I JUST LOVE MAC, OKAY.
  • Also Tina Majorino is so good.
  • Great casting with Madison's "mom" - she looks so much like Mac. And her face as she realizes who Mac is. MY HEART.
  • And their conversation is so loaded with things they can't say.
  • Oh, Mac really did leave her bag behind at Madison's party. I assumed it was a lie. I'm too used to Veronica and her schemes.
  • Keith in his trench coat is looking full on Marlowe P.I., it's great.
  • YAAAAAAY KEITH TO THE RESCUE. He found the latest abducted girl before she could be murdered.
  • And Deputy Leo stopped the bad guy before he hurt our dad.
  • "You know ... saving the life of a gal's dad ... smooth."
  • Oops but Leo got suspended because Veronica stole evidence while Weevil distracted him. I guess I should be impressed Lamb noticed? Poor Deputy Leo.
  • "Same old story ... Girl uses boy. Girl falls for boy. Boy saves girl's dad's life. Girl gets what she deserves." That's ... the same old story? Veronica needs to read different stories.
  • GASP Clarence Wiedman called in the tip about Abel Koontz!
  • Wonderful face acting from Mrs. Sinclair as she and Mac stare at each other through the car window.
  • Heh, Veronica telling Wiedman she's onto him by taking her own stalker photos. Girl's got balls.
  • Complete sidebar of a thing that occurred to me last week: so you know how the show likes to use somewhat heightened names? or at least names that point to another frame, like the Mars family living in Neptune, or the Knight/Rook/Bishop characters in "Mars vs Mars" later this season. So I only just noticed that the patsy set up to take the fall for Lilly's murder was Abel - sacrificed by the Kanes. Cain/Abel you guys. I hope I'm not the only one who didn't notice that.



Favorite Lines:

Daniel: “I don’t think it’s  an exaggeration to say we'd will rule the entire known universe.” - Mac
Zelda: "I'll bet that if my zip code ended in 0909, you'd have a patrol car swinging by the house every ten minutes, 'Good evening, Mr. Weevil, is there anything we can do for you?' That kind of service." - Mr. Weevil

Arc/Continuity:

Neptune Roll Call: Wallace, Weevil (Absent: Duncan, Logan)
First Appearance: Deputy Leo D'Amato
Recurring: Madison Sinclair, Sheriff Don Lamb, Veronica's "Office," Deputy Jerry Sacks, Mac Mackenzie, Clarence Wiedman
Future Famous Person: Max Greenfield, Aaron Paul. Aaron Paul, you guys.


Stats:
Dead Humans - 0 (yes, there are dead women in the case, but we don't have eyes on the corpses)
Backup Sighting - 0
Veronica Breaks In - 1
Veronica Tases Someone - 0
Mac Hacks - 1
Who's Your Daddy? - 0
Wallace Does Veronica a Favor - 0
Weevil Does Veronica a Favor - 1
Veronica Wants a Pony - 0
Logan Punches Someone - 0
Dick's Single Entendres - 0
Shenanigans Called - 0
VERONICA WAS RIGHT - 0
VERONICA WAS WRONG - 0

Tuesday, October 24, 2017

No, Veronica, There Is No Santa Claus

Episode 1.10: An Echolls Family Christmas. Original Airdate 12.14.04


"A holiday poker game at Logan's house gets nasty when Weevil's winnings disappear, leaving Veronica to determine the guilty party before Weevil finds his own way of getting the money back. Meanwhile, Keith helps Lynn Echolls find out who is sending threatening messages to her husband, Aaron, before their big Christmas party."





Zelda's Thoughts:

  • Ah yes, it's time for the weird discontinuity, where they aired this episode early and thus did not address the fallout until two episodes later. Because CHRISTMAS, YOU GUYS.
  • Speaking of, stores are already decorating for Christmas here in New York. In October. Maybe they're making a hybrid holiday season. Hallogivingmas. Like the turducken but tackier.
  • Awwww the Marses have the cutest tree. Merry Hallogivingmas, you guys!

  • Oh look, Logan was racist to Weevil AGAIN. Stop, Logan.
  • but WHAT the money box is EMPTY! Where are Weevil's winnings?
  • Logan and Duncan have matching boxers why.

  • Man, where are the menorahs? Neptune High's decorations are utterly failing at being secular
  • This is weird. Duncan showing full on agitation and emotion...
  • "See, there you go with that head tilt thing. You know, you think you're all badass, but whenever you need something, it's all *head tilt* heyyyy." Weevil is not wrong.
  • "I hear about a five thousand dollar card game played by idiots, I'm interested." srsly I love Weevil, you guys
  • Daniel found the one Hanukkah sign so I guess we're okay.
Did you find it?  It's below the clock
  • Logan. Stop. Being. Racist. Stop making me hate you.
  • Duncan rubbing his nose against the window while the boys ogle Mrs. Echolls. 
So attractive.
  • Veronica and Duncan in what is clearly the journalism classroom but no Mallory Dent.
  • I do like Duncan finally calling Logan out on his general jackassery. Logan's been making a few minor steps forward in being not-shitty, but with every racist comment he's taking leaps backward into loathsome.
  • omg that pumpkin carved to look like Aaron Echolls. I'm dying.
  • "Dude, what's up with that? That's like the tenth racist thing you've said." THANK YOU. Logan's really upped his ante (POKER PUN) with the racist comments this episode. I'm glad everyone's calling him out on it. I'd be even gladder if he'd fucking stop.
  • I'm waiting for the show to remind me why I love Logan (besides how amazing Jason Dohring is). Redemption Arc would be welcome any time now.
  • "Annoy, tiny blonde one, annoy like the wind." I'm so amazed Daniel doesn't use this on me all the time. [I WILL NOW - D] 
Ughhhh I love Veronica's purple jacket, can I steal it?
  • Second episode in a row of Veronica lusting after cute boys. Thanks, show. I'm enjoying the eye candy too.
  • I'm glad Sean ends up being the bad guy bc he's annoying me the most in the flashbacks, so I feel justified in my irritation.
  • Knowing the future, I guess it does make a little sense why Aaron is so unflapped about the death threats. It's not just the invulnerability of stardom, serial womanizer - it's also vestigial invulnerability from that time he spoilered spoiler. No one can kill him. No one can catch him.
  • Harry Hamlin is so great as Aaron Echolls. You can see the charm but also you can see the sleeze.
  • Shoutout to an unseen Mrs. Casablancas! Is this our Charisma Carpenter, or her predecessor?
  • "So, good news, bad news. The good news is, I know who stole the money. The bad news is, *I* know who stole the money." I love our Veronica.
  • "Do you even know how to play poker?" // "No ... dumb blonde look* but it must be really hard if all you guys play." I LOVE OUR VERONICA.
  • Heh, Veronica begins her Poirot scene by outing Duncan for faking being drunk. Then she explains Connor's drinking diuretic tea. Then she points out that Logan clearly ransacked the pool house, so he didn't do it. "So, do you want to hear how Sean did it?"
  • "Looks like an evil doer, smells like an evil doer."
  • I do love a good instrumental Carol of the Bells. Lovely underscoring of the Poirot scene.
  • "I was this close to being able to say the butler did it! But no, it was the butler's son."
  • And then Veronica does some Ricky Jay style fancy card handling and I love her even more.
  • I'm confused how exactly Logan and Duncan made up. When did Logan promise to amend his ways and stop being a racist douche? Did I miss that scene?
  • Gasp! Celeste Kane is the one who had Clarence Wiedman stalk Veronica and scare Lianne into leaving town. Once again, I'm liking Jake Kane? He genuinely seems like a less shitty human than Celeste.
  • Oops Aaron Echolls got totally stabbed. So, not invulnerable.
  • "No, Veronica, there is no Santa Claus."


Daniel's Thoughts:

  • It’s Christmas time in Neptune!
  • Hey! I missed Logan last ep.
  • Ok, it’s Logan, Duncan, Weevil – and two more people that we haven’t met. Interesting poker partners.  Ok, so one of them is a famous movie star.
  • Aww, they name checked Selma Blair.  How 2003 of them. (Also I love Selma Blair)
  • Weevil won with a pair of twos.  Which is way more realistic than most movies and TV shows that have the hero pulling out a royal flush narrowly beating 4 aces. 
  • Strip poker!  They all look good in boxer shorts.  Very strange that two of them have the same boxer shorts…
  • “Do they have a hot guy catalog?”
  • “I’d be the best rich person.”  - We all think so.
  • “You lie down with dogs, you’re gonna get fleas.”  Assholeish that Duncan assumes she means Weevil.  Awesome that she doesn’t.
  • Weevil’s gotta put on the tough act, but he knows he needs Veronica’s help.
  • It’s almost a flashback bottle episode.  This show likes flashbacks – but this one is kinda fun.  It’s a Christmas episode!
  • And now it’s Keith’s turn to have a case.  This episode, he’s greeted by Lynn Echolls.
  • OMG, I remember this one – the Aaron Echolls stalker.  Creepy.  Almost like Lisa Rinna’s lips.
  • Ugh, Logan’s racism is not getting any better.
  • Wow.  The Echolls’ tree.  This giant white monstrosity. White and Red is weird – it feels very 80s.  Very different than the Mars' warm Christmas tree.

  • I like that Connor calls Logan out on his racism.
  • Poor people tip better than rich people.  Without a doubt.
  • Christmastime in Southern California – like 90 degrees.
  • Enrico is such a good actor.  One facial expression says so much.  He’s so over the wealthy doing such mundane cliché things.
  • It’s important to note that Wallace has two hot dogs.  Because he’s a growing boy.  And because he doesn’t have much else going on.
  • “Do you even know how to play poker?”  “No, but it must be *really* hard if all you guys play it.”  Veronica Sarcasm Mars.
  • She’s my favorite fictional detective, seriously.
  • OK, she figured out that Duncan was fake-drinking – but why?  To look cool?
  • So Sean did it:  The motive? Being poor.  ….great?
  • Now it’s time for Keith to solve his case.
  • Duncan and Logan are both wearing sweatshirts in southern California because….winter.  It’s probably gone down to like 70 degrees.
  • Whoa.  Veronica confronting Jake Kane – bold.  I bet she didn’t even know she was going to do that.
  • Lynn Echolls brought fake snow to southern California.  That’s how I’d spend my money if I were rich.  Nicely done.




Crossfire!

Harvey: And before me, you sat in your underwear in a fish tank at The Standard
Daniel: ...what?

Favorite Lines:

Zelda: Annoy, tiny blonde one, annoy like the wind. - Logan
Daniel: I'd be the best rich person. Seriously. I'd be the perfect combination of frivolous and sensible. - Veronica

Arc/Continuity:

Neptune Roll Call: Weevil, Duncan, Logan, Wallace
First Appearance: Sean Friedrich, Harvey Greenblatt (Aaron's agent)
Recurring: Felix Toombs, Lynn Echolls, Aaron Echolls, Celeste Kane, Jake Kane
Logan's Nicknames: Tiny Blonde One

Stats:

Dead Humans - 0
Backup Sighting - 1 
Veronica Breaks In - 0
Veronica Tases Someone - 0
Mac Hacks - 0
Who's Your Daddy? - 0
Wallace Does Veronica a Favor - 1
Veronica Wants a Pony - 0
Logan Punches Someone - 0
Dick's Single Entendres - 0
Shenanigans Called - 0
VERONICA WAS RIGHT - 0
VERONICA WAS WRONG - 0

Tuesday, October 17, 2017

Implied Polygamy? Check.

Episode 1.9: Drinking the Kool-Aid. Original Airdate 11.30.04

"Against her father's wishes, Veronica infiltrates what she believes to be a cult in order to investigate a classmate's sudden change in personality. But after meeting the people in the cult, she begins to feel like she is making a mistake. Meanwhile, her investigations into Abel Koontz's claims about her family continue."



Daniel's Thoughts:

  • We start out exactly where we left off – Veronica sobbing over the fact that her father might be Jake Kane.
  • The bigger realization here, of course, is that the guy she dated and kissed a bunch might be her brother.  Veronica shares my sentiments and throws up on the side of the road.
  • She’s such an amazing detective. Everything falls into place.  I mean, it’s almost too perfect. Giant sign in the background – exact date and time due to specific circumstances – the suspect using a credit card that easily traces back to him.  I mean yeah, but I don’t care.  She still put all the pieces together and that’s why we love her.
  • I love how excited Keith is to get Veronica something that she always wanted….from her childhood.  And it’s nice that Veronica considers it sweet, if not impractical.  I mean waterbeds are….just.  
  • Keith’s new case: Rescue a kid from a cult.
  • The way Veronica is getting Keith’s DNA is so obvious…to us….  But since Keith has no idea about what V’s been up to, I guess it’s a creative way.  Or…maybe he does know?
  • Hey! It’s Aaron Samuels.  On October 3rd 17th, he asked me the date.

  • It’s nice that Wallace is around, but not just as that guy that helps Veronica out.
  • Oh no.  I hate that, “Let’s break into groups of”  That was always anxiety inducing in high school.  Poor Veronica. Convenient that the class is divisible by four with one left over.
  • Wow, that was easy.  One conversation with Miss Mills and Veronica gets invited to visit the cult.
  • “Implied polygamy – Check.”
  • That place looks nice.  Maybe I’ll join a cult.
  • “I’m Rain.” – Accurate cult name.
  • I mean, you can’t have the word “moon” in your cultname.  It’s a dead giveaway.
  • “You’re covered in mud.”  “See, that’s why you make the big bucks.”
  • Greenhouse, cash-cow, secret barn.  Of course we all thought pot.  But….Poinsettias?  That’s kinda hilarious.
  • But that’s how cults getcha – “we just want you to be happy”  - Because isn’t that what everyone wants?  ….Anyone know of a cult currently recruiting members?
  • I wonder if Keith’s facial wounds were something Enrico got in real life….because it’s not important to the story but they had to explain it somehow.
  • I mean, Abel Koontz’s main thought that Veronica is Jake Kane’s daughter is solely based on looks – but Veronica’s got Keith’s drive and personality.  Now this of course could be nurture as opposed to nature – but I think it’s definitely in her DNA.
  • Again, Wallace never really has any stories of his own.  He’s just kinda there to be a sounding board for Veronica.
  • Veronica’s also good at coy flirting. (SHE’S GOOD AT EVERYTHING)
  • I love the giant picture of Rain on the milk carton.  Does milk still do  that? tl;dr: No.  They stopped in the late 80sShenanigans?
This is totes her headshot

  • “We have to call the police, Casey was just kidnapped.”  If she was that concerned, why didn’t she whip out her cell?
  • I’m glad the twist is that things aren’t just black & white.   A lesser show would have found evidence that this was just a cult no matter how good it seemed.  It’s kind of an optimistic ending to the case – which again, isn’t standard tv writing.   Thought it does kinda suck what happens to Aaron Samuels.
  • They’re doing that thing where a character just stands still while everyone walks fast around her.  Which I don’t get so much in this instance – how…long was Veronica standing there?  [Did Warren put that weird electrobug on her to make time speed up around her? - Z]

Zelda's Thoughts:

  • Previously on Veronica Mars: Is she a secret Kane?
  • I love that her realization that Duncan might be her brother gets a smash cut to her puking out the side of the car.
  • Bless Veronica, using her detectivey skills to figure out who was stalking her. She won't let herself be victimized.
  • Gasp! Her stalker, Clarence Wiedman, is Head of Security at Kane Software!
  • They're talking like Keith's got this disfiguring scar, but the lighting is so poor. I wonder if the actor got injured and they had to write that in.
  • He's so excited he got her a waterbed. I remember a childhood friend had a waterbed and I thought it was the coolest thing. Now I think I'd be kind of freaked out if I had one.

  • We can see Keith's injury much clearer in the next scene in the office.
  • Casey Gant, aka Aaron Samuels, has joined a cult! 
  • "Veronica, do not under pain of slow agonizing death think about going to the compound yourself." So that means Veronica's definitely going to the compound.
  • snort I like that Veronica fakes a pretentious angsty teen poem to get in with Miss Mills's writer crowd.
  • I mean, I know the reveal is that the compound is just hippy dippy but it certainly is coding as culty from the get-go. "Forbidden barn? Check. Implied Polygamy? Check. Ladies and gentlemen, we have a cult."
  • Aaron Samuels is almost too pretty to look at.
  • "You're covered in mud." // "See? That's why you make the big bucks."
  • I feel you, Veronica. Cold showers are the worst.
  • Their cash crop is poinsettias. This is the dorkiest cult right now. 
  • Montage of everyone happily preparing food and laughing. Have we seen Veronica this laugh-y since Lilly died? Kinda breaking my heart.
  • Oops Keith crashed the cult and saw Veronica there. "Since when do you reserve the right to totally blow off my instructions? Does my judgment, my concern for your safety carry that little weight with you?"
  • Ruh roh. The Gants hired a deprogrammer.
  • *snort* The Deprogrammer closes the door and it immediately bounces back open. Oops. In the office shot, the door is closed, so maybe it was just a gaff they forgot to fix.
  • "Thank you for being my own personal Springer audience. Should I check myself before I wreck myself?"
  • Veronica has noticed how dreamy Aaron Samuels is. All he has to do is ask her the date and she'll have a full Cady Heron-shaped crush.

  • Sidebar: Daniel's new ringtone is like a UFO landing and I'm dying. It's called scifi apparently. [MY RING TONE MADE THE BLOG - D]
  • aw man milk carton missing children. but GASP it's Rain from the Moon-Calf Collective!
  • I have never once in my life been to a graveside ceremony. Is this a real thing or just a thing in movies and television?
  • Jonathan Bennett is like twice Kristen Bell's size and it's adorable.
  • nooooooooooo they have abducted Casey Gant for deprogramming. Goodbye Nice Casey, Hello Douche Casey.
  • awwwww Keith didn't turn in the Collective for having Rain the runaway. *hugs Keith forever*
  • Duncan is almost charming in his brief scenes this week. Like, the dialogue is there. The delivery is not.
  •  I don't know why, but I feel like this episode was made in a hurry. Not a criticism, necessarily, it just feels like they cut some corners getting things done, used some imperfect takes.
  • Veronica has decided it doesn't matter who her biological father is - Keith is her father. I'M FINE.

Favorite Lines:

Daniel & Zelda: Keith: "You're covered in mud." // Veronica: "See? That's why you make the big bucks."

Arc/Continuity:

Neptune Roll Call: Duncan, Wallace, Weevil (Absent: Logan, Mallory Dent) 
**Note: Sydney Tamiia Poitier is no longer in the credits. Her last appearance was in "The Girl Next Door," and her last billing in the credits was "Like a Virgin."**
First Appearance: Clarence Wiedman, Casey Gant
Recurring: Mrs. Murphy, Veronica's "Office"
Past Famous Person: Jonathan Bennett
Keith's Alias: Sal from the County Water Department

Stats:

Dead Humans - 0
Backup Sighting - 1
Veronica Breaks In - 0
Veronica Tases Someone - 0
Mac Hacks - 0
Who's Your Daddy? - 0
Wallace Does Veronica a Favor - 0
Veronica Wants a Pony - 0
Logan Punches Someone - 0
Dick's Single Entendres - 0
Shenanigans Called - 1
VERONICA WAS RIGHT - 0
VERONICA WAS WRONG - 0

Tuesday, October 3, 2017

The Interruptus in Someone Else's Coitus

Episode 1.8: Like a Virgin. Original Airdate 11.23.04

"A purity test being passed around Neptune High leaves Veronica's friend Meg humiliated, which leads Veronica to uncover who would want to ruin the reputation of the nicest girl in school. Meanwhile, Keith helps Wallace's mom with a tenant who refuses to leave, and Veronica has a shocking meeting with Lilly's confessed killer."



Zelda's Thoughts:

  • "You crazy kids, the stuff you're into. Hula hoops, cramming into photo booths, visiting death row inmates." Cliff is marvelous.
  • "I failed criminal law, and I still know that can't be good." Seriously, Cliff is the best.
  • Man, what a cruel move, dumping Veronica's clothes in the toilet. She didn't even do anything to provoke anyone this time.
  • But that means it's time to meet Meg, who is too Disney princess nice to exist.It is inexplicable to me that Duncan is here at the table with Dick, explaining the Purity Test - the inexplicability is that it's Duncan and not Logan. I mean, not entirely inexplicable, they were clearly having to make budgetary decisions, which is why we have our Neptune Roll Call, since the two Marses are the only regulars to actually appear in every episode. But like. No.




  • What a great way for Veronica to meet Wallace's mom for the first time. "Did she invite me for supper?" // "Aw, no, it's not big deal. You know how many girls she's caught flashing me?"


I see Veronica agrees with me about the Disney Princess

  • MAC IS HERE HI MAC I LOVE YOU MAC
  • I also love your blue streaked hair, Mac
  • "So that one day in your memoirs, you'll describe me as inscrutable." I seriously love her style so much.
  • Our musical auditions in high school were in the choir room, not onstage, and they weren't on display for the other classmates auditioning. Our regular play auditions were, though.
  • Man, the guy lodging at the Fennels is so freaking creepy. Breaking in to use their stove. And refusing to pay rent. I fucking hate this guy so much. Relying so much on how he can make Alicia feel unsafe.
  • Lizzie sticking up for her sister to the douche boyfriend: A+. "You don't even like her." "Maybe not. But I love her."
  • "I don't see how you do it ... does it bother you, the things they say?" // "No. Here's what you do. You get tough. You get even."
  • gasp! Wallace's mom works at Kane Software. No wonder she doesn't like the Marses.
  • Keith Mars being awesome and getting rid of the creepo tenant. "That's nothing. You wanna see crazy? You better pay attention, cuz this is gonna get good." And then he makes all the weird noises he can think of. It's kind of like when Giles first revealed his Ripper side, the realization of how scary and protective our show's dad can be.


  • Our first Mac Hack!
  • In the fake letter sent from Veronica's letter to Duncan, "she" confesses she had VD while they were dating, which reminds me why Logan/Veronica was always going to beat Duncan/Veronica - as far as ship names go, LoVe is better than VD.
  • "You do have friends, Veronica." Yes, we know. Wallace and the absent Weevil. And now Meg!
  • "I barely let me socialize with myself, I'm a bad influence." I love you, Keith Mars.
  • oh man, it's so chilling when Abel reveals he knows who Veronica is. He may not be a murderer, but there's something scary/dangerous in a man who has nothing left to lose.
  • And then he tells her Jake Kane is her dad and ohhhhhhhhh shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit.



Daniel's Thoughts:

  • Hey! Touched for the very first time.
  • Man, I love Cliff McCormick. “I failed criminal law and I know that can’t be good.”
  • Omg, every single girl in the lockerroom is thin, athletic and blond.
  • Hey Meg! We like her a lot until those moments where we don’t. But I think we mostly like her? [Sounds about right. - Z]
  • Purity tests. I remember taking these. We took them in college.
  • Here’s the sexism: Dick is blatantly talking about how much he’s scored and then in the next breath, calls Veronica a skank. Boys are ashamed of getting high purity/Girls are ashamed of getting low purity.
  • Veronica is more self-aware than most teenagers I’ve ever known.
  • Of course the exposure of these tests affects the girls more than the guys – they get slut-shamed.
  • Hey! It’s Mac!


  • There are about 4 guys in this hallway with shirts with numbers – which I think was a thing in the 2000s.
  • Mr. DeMoy, IT guy - hottest IT guy I’ve ever seen. Ooh, and he has a French accent?



I couldn't find a single screenshot of him in the show, so here's his headshot.  You're welcome.

  • Wow, there are a lot of people auditioning people. There’s like a three-person panel.  
  • “Apparently I’ve pleasured the swim team…and” I don’t think purity tests are that specific.
  • Come on Mrs. Wallace, let your son take care of things.
  • She’s so damn smart.
  • Meg’s boyfriend is such a tool. He’s also like thirty.
  • Veronica says Porn Stash. But I prefer to think she meant Pornstache

Pornstache

  • “Overstepping is your main form of transportation.” Pot, Kettle, Veronica.
  • I wish they had developed Wallace more. He’s a good friend of Veronica’s and helps her out a lot but that’s pretty much his biggest thing. Every once in a while he has a problem that can be solved in a one hour episode, but he never really has a series arc.
  • I don’t know how I feel about Keith going all Mob Enforcer on the Fennel’s tenant. On the one hands, he totally deserves it. On the other hand, it seems way too thuggish for him.
  • Veronica’s IM name is: Life’s a Beach. I love it.
  • “Why do you insist on pissing me off, Kimmie”
  • Abel Koontz: I mean, I know he’s innocent, but he’s freaking creepy as hell.
  • And here’s finally clue #3, that Jake might be her dad (and Duncan her brother). Ok, not so much a clue as being outright told….
  • But this is the clincher for Veronica. She takes it hard because Keith Mars is the closest person in her life. He’s basically her whole life. He’s the hero that stayed.


Crossfire!

Neptune High News Guy: Miss Poppum is hoping to bring a little bit of Broadway to the beach.
Daniel: ... what?!



Favorite Lines:

Zelda: Wallace: "Why are you holding up your hands like that?" Veronica: "So that one day in your memoirs, you'll describe me as inscrutable."

Daniel: 
“Why do you insist on pissing me off, Kimmie” - Veronica


Arc/Continuity:

Neptune Roll Call: Duncan, Wallace (Absent: Logan, Weevil, Mallory Dent)
First Appearance: Meg Manning, Alicia Fennel, Darrell Fennel, Mac Mackenzie, Lizzie Manning
Recurring: Cliff McCormack, Dick Casablancas, Veronica's "Office," Mrs. Murphy, Deputy Jerry Sacks, Abel Koontz
Veronica's Alias: Ellen White, from Abel Koontz's hometown



Stats:

Dead Humans - 0
Backup Sighting - 1
Veronica Breaks In - 0
Keith Breaks In - 1
Veronica Tases Someone - 0
Mac Hacks - 1
Who's Your Daddy? - 0
Wallace Does Veronica a Favor - 0
Veronica Wants a Pony - 0
Logan Punches Someone - 0
Dick's Single Entendres - 1 
Shenanigans Called - 0
VERONICA WAS RIGHT - 0
VERONICA WAS WRONG - 0

Tuesday, September 26, 2017

Would You Describe the Sound as Hitchcockian?

Episode 1.7: The Girl Next Door. Original Airdate 11.9.04

"Veronica becomes suspicious when a young pregnant woman who lives in their apartment complex suddenly disappears; fearing the worst, Keith steps in to help his daughter investigate this case for the girl's estranged parents. Meanwhile, Logan and Weevil get thrown into detention together after arguing with a teacher, leading the rivals to discover some surprising things in common. Later, while working on an alumni photo project in her journalism class, Veronica is shocked to discover that her mother and Jake Kane were high-school sweethearts."

Daniel's Thoughts:

  • Oooh, we’re doing one of those _____ days/hours earlier tropes
  • One week earlier!
  • Hey! It’s Jessica Chastain! I love it.
  • That dog looks so sedated.
  • And right now he’s staring at the trainer. I love when dogs do this. You can so tell. Because dogs can’t act.
  • Logan is hilarious. It’s nice to have 30 year old writers with quick wit write for HS students.
  • Hey it’s General Redhead! (Bonita Friedericy from Chuck)

  • And Steven Williams! There are so many people in this episode. I love this guy. He’s one of those “that guy”s that you see everywhere. But I know him most from 21 Jump Street.
  • I mean Weevil’s tattoos are so expensive. I don’t remember anyone in HS having tattoos. Actually that’s not true. But they were more subtle. One girl had a vampire bite on her neck which I thought was totally cool.
  • (Keith) is so damn likeable and I expect him to be likeable in other things but mostly he plays a lot of assholes in other things.
  • I mean the King & Queen of the prom doesn’t necessarily mean they’re together.
  • I love Parker Abrams with facial hair. And he has such Peter Gallagher eyebrows.
  • So her neighbor’s dog is barking bloody murder but Back-Up is nowhere in sight.
  • Second clue that Duncan & Veronica may be siblings…
  • And that’s Weevil/Logan in a nutshell: Weevil: Blood and guts; Logan: Emotional torture. Together, they can do anything.
  • Logan: Never estimate the size of my cajones.
  • Hey! It’s Mac from General Hospital
  • Like how did they actual do this? Put a car through a pole? I don’t feel like it’s feasible.
  • My god, the blatant racism by these guys.
  • Wow, Logan using his prestige to get Weevil out of his expulsion – is this the beginning of a beautiful friendship?

  • Wow, Weevil went so far as to put a tattoo with Lilly’s name on his arm.
  • I mean, I can’t believe Jessica Chastain ran away and left her dog to fend for itself. Not cool, Chastain, not cool.
  • Aww, Uncle Mac is a rapist. And he’s been shot!

Zelda's Thoughts:

  • Oh, I'd forgotten this entire episode is a flashback, leaving us to wonder who's being carted off in a stretcher.
  • ONE WEEK EARLIER
  • Why, it's Jessica Chastain, everybody! The fist time I saw this I was way more fixated on her boyfriend Parker Abrams because Buffy, but now it's like hi A-lister.
  • Logan's brought his A game to snarking, and I am enjoying it.
  • Y'all it's General Redhead from Chuck!  She's, wow, very different.
  • Miss Dent: "And please, keep her away from me." Veronica: *ignores when General Redhead once again corners Miss Dent to talk her ear off*
  • Wow, Logan, wow. You just got a 0 on your test and you continue to dig yourself in deeper, because you can't stand to not have the last word.
  • Weevil has amazing facial hair. He was cleanshaven two episodes ago; this episode he's got a healthy beard and stache. Daniel has informed me that this is indeed possible for certain men. Maybe not a lot of high school boys, but.
  • I mean, werewolves are also a thing. We had one last episode.
  • Parker Abrams looks good scruffy.
  • Hmmm I wonder if this episode is intended as an homage to Rear Window? Veronica hears Jessica Chastain cry out, and a thump of something - or someone - hitting the ground. Wait, it's entirely intentional. The very next scene, Keith calls Veronica's wonderings/the sound she heard as "Hitchcockian." Also that was so delightful that Daniel and I both laughed forever.
  • "The people that say high school years are the best years of your life are usually on the yearbook staff."
  • gasp Lianne and Jake were prom king and queen!
  • gasp! Felix confirmed that Weevil and Lilly hooked up!
  • SO MUCH GASPING.
  • Veronica: Did you know your dad and my mom were sweethearts? // Duncan: What? You're not my sister. This is totally not incest. What? 
  • Or is that just my interpretation of the text?
  • I will say, if Veronica actually thought Parker Abrams killed Jessica Chastain, wouldn't telling him that to his face while she thinks they're alone be kind of ... royally stupid? She's lucky he's just a laconic sardonic asshole. She didn't even bring Backup!
  • (speaking of, we've got the upstairs dog barking away)
  • wow. WOW. I just noticed that the dog is named Killer. Was On the Nose taken?
  • Man, why do Weevil and Logan have to take their anger at their teacher out on the books? The poor innocent books?
  • Logan: "Never underestimate the size of my cojones." AND THEN HE WINKS AT WEEVIL. I KNOW THE SLASHFIC EXISTS.

  • Man, that flagpole certainly is Weevil's chosen shaming ground. First naked Wallace, now teacherman's car.
  • I would like to know how they achieved that particular stunt.
  • Oh but look. Weevil and Logan have achieved a bit of not-quite-friendship. It was all about that wink. I guess we got over Logan's racist slurs.
  • And because Weevil didn't turn Logan in, Logan's confessed to Clemmons. And is using his dad's famous boots - which Clemmons was angling for - to get out of punishment for both of them. Using his privilege for good?
  • "You realize you're paranoid." // "I do. Everyone reminds me. But it doesn't mean I'm not right."
  • hahaha and then Weevil and his gang go make a mess of the store in order to get back Jessica Chastain's stolen journal from her "friend"
  • Weevil telling Logan his Lilly tattoo is for his little sister. I don't think he's afraid to - that's not his thing. I think he doesn't see the need to hurt Logan further on this, at least not at this time. They've brokered a peace for the moment. Telling the truth at this time wouldn't help, just cause further pain.
  • "A mans gotta be pretty committed to a woman to agree to raising another man's child." WHAT'S THAT, KEITH MARS? WHAT'S THAT? VERONICA MIGHT BE A KANE?
  • "Are some things better left buried?" An apt question on which to end the episode. 

Crossfire!
Mr. Daniels: Mr. Navarro, I wonder if you'll find Mr. Echolls so amusing ten years from now.
Daniel: gasp WHEN WE SEE THE MOVIE

Andre: That must have been when I cracked her head open with a candlestick and she crumpled to the ground. No wait, that was Professor Plum in the study.
Zelda: HE USED THE REVOLVER

Favorite Lines:
Daniel: It's just High School. What happens here doesn't mean anything -Veronica
Zelda: VP Clemmons: Mr. Echolls, I was wondering if I could have a word. Logan: Anthropomorphic. All yours, big guy. 

Arc/Continuity:
Neptune Roll Call: Logan, Mallory Dent, Weevil, Duncan (Absent: Wallace)
Recurring: Vice Principal Van Clemmons, Felix Toombs, Lilly Kane, Mrs. Murphy (first appearance, unnoted was in Pilot), Dick Casablancas, Veronica's "Office," Hector
Future Famous Person: Jessica Chastain, Bonita Friedericy, Steven Williams (past & future)
Buffy Alum: Parker Abrams (Adam Kaufman)

Stats:

Dead Humans - 0
Backup Sighting - 0 
Veronica Breaks In - 1
Veronica Tases Someone - 0
Mac Hacks - 0
Who's Your Daddy? - 0 (WE'RE STARTING TO WONDER, THOUGH)
Wallace Does Veronica a Favor - 0
Weevil Does Veronica a Favor - 1
Veronica Wants a Pony - 1
Logan Punches Someone - 0
Dick's Single Entendres - 0
Shenanigans Called - 0
VERONICA WAS RIGHT - 0
VERONICA WAS WRONG - 0