PLEASE NOTE: THIS IS A SPOILER-RICH ZONE

PLEASE NOTE: THIS IS A SPOILER-RICH ZONE. If your diet requires you to dine on Buffy Spoiler-free ... good luck with that.

Tuesday, March 21, 2017

A Bidet of Evil

Episode 7.14: First Date. Original Airdate 2.11.03

"Buffy accepts an invitation to dinner from Principal Wood, and the secrets of his past are revealed. Xander impresses a beautiful girl with his knowledge of knots, and she seems to be interested in tying him up. Meanwhile the First contacts Andrew in another attempt to destroy the Potentials, and Giles finds himself tongue-tied with the new Potential, Chao-Ahn [because racism is hilarious]."

Zelda's Thoughts: 

  • Oh good, we've started the Giles talking loudly at Chao-Ahn, aren't language barriers hilarious hahaha racism
  • Giles calling Spike a berk, however, is always delightful.
  • "You think I'm losing sight of the big picture, but I'm not. When Spike had that chip, it was like having him in a muzzle. It was wrong. You can't beat evil by doing evil. I know that." Yeah, fuck you Giles.
  • Oh look Ashanti stuntcasting. blah
  • DB Woodside, so good, so mysterious, so charming
  • whaaaaaat he's got a bloody knife whaaaaaaaat
  • "I'm gonna wait for that sentence to come around again before I jump on."
  • "Guys, guess what happened!" // "Buffy got a date!" // "No, *I* did!"
  • I will say the banter is pretty good this episode. Y'know except for the Chao-Ahn hahaha she doesn't speak English hahaha (seriously fuck this "running gag") "She's grateful to be in the land of plenty." fuuuuuuuuuuuuck yoooooooooou and your imperialism.
  • Danny Strong is awesome as The First. I'm glad he's back.
  • "Confidentially, a lot of her people are murderers. Anya and Willow and Spike." And Giles. And Xander. Basically only Dawn isn't. Wait, does Miss Kitty Fantastico's demise count as murder?
  • Buffy being all blushy and smiley with Wood is really kind of adorable.
  • At least the show acknowledges what a bad counselor Buffy is.
  • Gasp! Wood's mother was a Slayer.
  • It's such an interesting revelation for Buffy - not just Wood as a potential romantic partner, but that having a child is not unprecedent in the Slayer line - another aspect of that "normal life" she used to long for, could actually be an option if she wants it.
  • "Say, do you have any weaknesses I should know about?" Andrew is not a good spy.
  • This episode really hammers in how impotent ["Flaccid?" - Buffy] The First is at accomplishing anything. Relying on Andrew? Really? No wonder they brought in Nathan Fillion. This realization hit the writers too late in the season.
  • Ashanti is not good at this whole speaking lines thing.
  • okayyyy so. I think this is just a small error, but Wood saying "he's a vampire" with surprise in his voice when Spike vamps out - in the earlier scene in the car, it looks like he's looking in his rearview mirror to where Spike should be - Spike who has no reflection. So ... he should already know that. oops. (shenanigans)
I'm not wrong, right? He's looking at Spike.

  • Even Wood is noticing how Spuffy season seven is.
  • Xander: "So how's your date going?" // Buffy: *looks at Wood* // Wood: *looks at Spike* //Spike:

  • Oh good one last hahahalanguagebarrierhahaha
  • So is Clem canonically gay?
  • "quips about orientation"
  • spuffysceeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeene. "'Cause I'm not ready for you to not be here."
my shipppppppppppppppppp

  • "Did I raise you that way?" // "You didn't raise me at all." // "Well, I was dead." this scene is just marvelous
  • so they did recast Nikki but apparently they only hired a stunt actor to play her in "Fool For Love," and they cast an actor-actor to play her here.


Daniel's Thoughts:

  • Nice catch, Giles!  He’s got expert reflexes.
  • Yes, Giles – speak louder – Chao-Ahn will be able to understand English then.
  • SHENANIGANS.  When exactly would Anya tell Spike that Giles may be the First?  He and Buffy were gone when they were talking about it and they solved the problem by the time Spike  & Buffy got back.
  • See Chao-Ahn not understanding anything anyone is saying is played for laughs….except how incredibly scary for her.  To be in this strange situation with vampires etc, and still not knowing anything that’s going on. 
  • Oh man, guest starring the worst guest star ever: Ashanti.
  • Giles’ fears about Spike are so valid but who cares? He's only been your mentor for 6ish years.
  • Oh man, DB Woodside is so good at comedy.  I’m pretty sure I’ve said that before and I’ll say it again: DB Woodside is so good at comedy.
  • See, Even Willow knows Buffy is bad at her (school) job.
  • “A bidet of evil”
  • I enjoy Willow/Buffy/Xander just chatting and joking.  It’s nice.
  • Hey Danny Strong.  I just saw him in an episode of Girls , which – I really wish I hadn’t because he was one of those straight guys who play gay by being overly flamboyant and effeminate when Danny Strong is effeminate enough already.  Anyway.  End of sidebar.
  • NO ANYA.  WHERE IS ANYA. WTF.
  • Oh there, she is.  20 minute later.
  • I like Anya’s cute mid-driffy sweater.


  • “Hardware-store whore” – aww, Anya.  She really needs a date.
  • Man this alley set is such a set. 
  • Wow, Wood’s a pretty good fighter.
  • Really?  Can we not bring up Xander leaving Anya at the altar only to justify and excuse his behavior?  Fuck off, Ashanti & Xander & writers.
  • That’s the 2nd time this episode that someone laughs at Buffy about being a counselor.
  • It’s really cool to find out history of another slayer and to find out that she had a child which Buffy thought would never be possible for her.
  • Nice detective work, Andrew.  But it’s kinda cool that he went to the scoobies right away about the first visiting him.
  • Good make-up on dead Jonathan-first
  • Omg, she’s so bad (ashanti)
  • Aww, Anya still cares about Xander.  I mean, we knew that.  But I had so much hope back in the day.
  • “There isn’t time for… quips about orientation.” Ugh. I want to laugh about that….if everything I didn’t see in the 90s/00s were just jokes about being gay.
  • Wood’s got a nice apartment. It kinda reminds me of Angel’s apartment in that show he’s in about himself.  I think it’s called “That Vampire with the goofy hair: The series”
  • Nice reveal about Spike/Wood’s slayer mom.

Favorite Lines:
Z: "Guys, guess what happened!" // "Buffy got a date!" // "No, *I* did!" - Xander/Willow
D: "Fine, go. Leave me here to stew in my impotent rage." *Buffy stops, turns to look at Anya* "I'm also gonna pee,  so you should probably go." -Anya

Arc/Continuity Stuff:
First appearance: Chao-Ahn
Recurring: Giles, Robson, Kennedy, Amanda, Principal Wood, The First (as Jonathan Levinson and Nikki Wood), Espresso Pump, Giles's terrible artistic skills, Seal of Danzalthar, Xander as a demon magnet
In "Potential," Andrew wanted a new microwave and now he's got one! (Also, this is the same microwave that got destroyed in "Conversations With Dead People")
The shirt Anya's cleaning - "it might be pizza" - is the one Dawn spilled on during "Conversations With Dead People"

Stats:
Anya's Hair - curly, dark blonde
Dead Humans - 0
Dead Undeads - 7
Dead Potential - 0
Dead Flashbacks - 0
Giles Unconscious - 0
Giles Cleans His Glasses - 1
Buffy Breaks a Door - 0
Evil Reveal - 1 (LissAshanti)
Unevil Reveal - 1 (Principal Wood)
Shenanigans Called - 2
Apocalypse Called - 0

Tuesday, March 14, 2017

A Perfectly Reasonable and Not At All Insane Explanation

Episode 7.13: The Killer in Me. Original Airdate 2.4.03

"After Willow and Kennedy share their first kiss, Willow is transformed into Warren, the man she killed last year. When she sets out to find help, she bumps into an old friend. Meanwhile, Buffy searches for answers when Spike's chip causes him great pain, and the gang suspect that Giles may really be The First."

Daniel's Thoughts:

  • And now, the metaphor episode
  • Hey Giles!
  • Oh man, all this awful set up of Giles not touching anything – like Xander opening the door for him and Dawn being instructed to take a book out to the car for him.
  • Wait, why is Spike chained up now when he was loose the entire last episode?
  • They’re trying to explain it away but really, it’s just all about Spike and they want to feature him as much as possible.  Fuck everyone else who has been there from the beginning.
  • “I never realized how compact Mollie was.”
  • Oh hey, something else is happening to Spike now.  BECAUSE HE DOESN’T HAVE ENOUGH PLOTS.  What’s Anya up to?
  • “Remember when things were nice and boring?”  You mean like now?
  • Isn’t it nice that they made the only lesbian old enough to date Willow?
  • To be fair, it’s nice having a lesbian who isn’t all weird and confused as Willow.   ....like a confident Tara.
  • It’s also sad that “flirting in code” is how lesbians (and gay men) have to find each other out – in 2003.  Like, you can’t just be open about who you are.  You have to be careful and secretive because god forbid you offend the sensibilities of the poor straight people.
  • Aww, Willow’s talking about her mom that we’ve met once.
  • Oh hey, Spike’s now unchained.  What are the rules here?
  • Willow doesn’t like Italian food?  What kind of monster
  • The thing is – she just killed someone for killing the love of her life.  She nearly destroyed the world because Tara died….why does she need a love interest so soon?  What about Xander? What about Anya?
  • And now: METAPHOR
  • And I mean in a way they’re dealing with it in this episode….it’s all about Willow’s guilt, blah blah blah…but they solve it in this episode like some weird hour long sitcom
  • Adam Busch does a pretty good Willow impression. It’s cute.
It's all in the upward inflection.

  • Willow:  I’ll go, I'll handle it – you’ve got your hands full anyway [with Spike]– pretty much the mantra of season 7.  – We’re too busy with Spike to help anyone else.
  • “When Robson came to, no Giles” – but also no blood I guess?  So….
  • Tom Lenk is funny, Andrew is a pain.  It’s a fine line.
  • I mean, in all that time – they’ve never seen Giles eat?  Cause that’s corporeal touching.
  • Hey, the Wicca group on campus is actually doing magic.
  • I do like the throw-back to the bake sales.
  • Uh oh…..Willow’s turning into Warren…
  • Eww, three years of decay is a lot (In the Initiative’s compound)
  • I love Xander’s subtle offended face tick to Anya calling him a geek.  Rare nice work by Nick.
  • Oooh, Big bad Amy
  • “Same model as last time?”  Wow, the gun seller remembers a weapon he sold last year? [These things? Never useful. - Buffy]
  • Buffy’s “I knew it!”  So cute.
  • “Ass face”  Yes, that is what I call Spike, too.
  • Repair the chip or remove the chip….big decision for Buffy….or is it?  I know which one I’d pick
  • I really like Elizabeth Anne Allen – it’s a shame she hasn’t had much work since Buffy.
  • 2003 – that transition between Warren and Willow while kissing Kennedy would be so much better today.  It was such a crappy cutaway shot.


Zelda's Thoughts: 

  • Ugh can we just like skip this one? Please?
  • Except for that one bit where they tackle Giles because his face is hilarious.
  • Giles: "would you mind running it out to the car" LOOK THE WRITERS ARE TROLLING US AGAIN.
  • uh oh SMG is losing her voice. I forgot it started this early. She stays sick for a while.
  • "Apparently, someone told them that the vision quest consists of me driving them to the desert, doing the Hokey Pokey until a 'spooky rasta mama Slayer' arrives and speaks to them in riddles."
  • Oh I forgot the chip stuff was this episode. Oops. Poor Spike's brain.
  • "Remember when things used to be nice and boring?" "No."
  • "Who you gonna call? ... god, that phrase is never gonna be useable again, is it?"
  • Oh hey shoutout to Willow's neglectful mother.
  • Oh Willow is me. She turns off Moulin Rouge early so it has a happy ending.
  • lol I do love that Buffy sees Warren and immediately punches. Good instincts, B.
  • "There are other stories from kindergarten, non-yellow-crayon stories in which you don't come out in such a good light." snort
  • How come Warren-Willow is in a different outfit than Willow?
  • I really don't like all the Spike-having-a-seizure as comedic background action to the other stuff. It's a cheap move, and a belittling of something potentially fatal. It's not comic relief. Calling him Ass-face is comic relief.
  • So ... I guess they didn't fill The Initiative's compound with cement and salt the earth after all? I guess we can headcanon that that was a figure of speech and they were lazy. But seriously, this place is not well sealed.
  • At least the show is finally dealing with Is Giles Dead Or Not question. But still, fuck the writers. This isn't like the misdirect of Spike going to "Africa" on his bike to get a soul. This is trolling.


  • Sooooo if the comics are canon, that means Amy's got Skinless Warren stashed somewhere already, right? She magicked him away and kept him from dying (which ruins the Warren as The First bits this season oooooops. stupid comics)
  • gasp! Warren's personality is taking over Willow! It's not just looking him anymore.
  • Wow it's not just that they didn't cement the compound, they left corpses to rot. You'd think a covert government op would be ... tidier about its cover-up.
  • "Oops." I guess Amy doesn't get to have character development after all. It just seems ... idk kind of lazy, to have Amy have set this trap for her. Why?
the only part of the episode I actively like is Giles's face
 as he's tackled. look at his cartoon eyes!

  • "I assume there is a perfectly reasonable and not at all insane explanation for this."
  • "We're to provide anything you need to help Ass-face here. Those were his exact words, ma'am."
  • blah I think it's dumb to leave it as a cliffhanger of Buffy deciding whether or not to fix or remove Spike's chip. Where's the dilemma? The chip doesn't work when he's under The First's thrall, so it's not a prevention for that, and he has his soul now. She trusts Spike more than he trusts himself, not to be evil. That was the whole point of their scene in the basement earlier, when he's insisting on being chained while in the house, and she thinks it's unnecessary. It's stupid. It's mortal and it's stupid.
  • Amy's twirling her evil mustache and it just doesn't feel real and organic.
  • And her explanation is da-da-dumb. "She almost destroyed the world, and yet everyone keeps on loving her." This power and being-loved resentment line works way better in Faith's hands.
  • Warren-Willow and Willow aren't holding the gun in the same way ... they also aren't in the same emotional place. Sometimes the actors are good at matching each other on delivery (and manner) and sometimes ... it falls apart.
  • Alyson is doing good work though. "I let her go. I didn't mean to. ... I let her be dead."
  • Wish I liked Kennedy more. Wish I liked Iyari Limon more. Wish I liked this episode more.

Favorite Lines:

D: Anya: Just a teenager, a powerful former demon and two big geeks.  *Xander looks mildy hurt*
Z: "Oh, is this actually a flower shop, or is this one of those things where I'm supposed to play along to show that I know it's really secret ops? Oh, maybe I shouldn't have said that." - Buffy


Arc/Continuity Stuff:

  • Recurring: Giles, Kennedy, The Bronze (because we miss it), Warren, Andrew, Amy, The Initiative (or what it's become)
  • Shoutout to Buffy's vision quest in "Intervention"
  • All the Shoutouts to "Seeing Red"
  • The Sunnydale University Wicca group still participates in bake sales

Stats:

Anya's Hair - dark blonde, shoulder length, straight
Dead Humans - 0
Dead Undeads - 1
Dead Potentials - 0
Not Dead Giles - 1
Dead Flashbacks - 0
Giles Unconscious - 0
Giles Cleans His Glasses - 0
Buffy Breaks a Door - 0
Evil Reveal - 1 (Amy)
Unevil Reveal - 1 (Giles Isn't The First)
Shenanigans Called - 0
Apocalypse Called - 0

Monday, March 6, 2017

Like Being Swallowed. By Something Larger.

Episode 7.12: Potential. Original Airdate 1.21.03  

"Buffy takes the Potentials to a demon bar and then to Spike's crypt, in order to teach them the art of slaying. When Willow casts a spell to seek out the next Potential, the spell leads them to believe that Dawn may be a future slayer."



Special Note: We apologize for the huge hiatus: Holidays, vacations and other commitments kept us busy, and probably the thought of continuing season 7 felt a bit daunting as well...so...HERE WE GO:

Zelda's Thoughts: 

  • God, I've completely forgotten how to do this. Um. Hi. Yay Buffy!
  • Starting in a graveyard is a good throwback to early Buffy.
  • But gasp! They're fighting Spike! Gasp gasp! He's training them.
  • Aw I love Felicia Day.


  • "Don't fight on his terms. Your gut's telling you to run, run."
  • "He needs to kill to live. That tells you everything you need to know."
  • Buffy and Spike have A Moment. // Daniel: ugh. // Me: MY SHIP. // Potentials: That's hot. So we're supposed to make out with them or something?
  • Sigh. The beginning of Buffy's less fun speeches. Buffy as Teacher/General gets a lot of hate in the fandom, and I get it because she's not as fun and quippy as teen Buffy was, but she's basically forced into this position by everyone around her, and she has to feel her way. She goes into full detachment mode in order to fill the role. It makes her less approachable, but she's trying to do what needs to be done.
  • Yay it's Amanda! Hi again, Amanda.
  • Buffy is the worst counselor you guys. Stop "humorously" projecting your Spike baggage onto poor Amanda.
  • "Wait, the seers couldn't find out her name or, like, her address or anything? Am I getting the definition of seer wrong?"
  • Dawn snarking at the Potentials is way more fun than self-pity Dawn.
  • "He's not evil, but when he gets close to it, he picks up its flavor, like a mushroom or something." Accurate.
  • I wish MT were a better actress. Or at least a funny one.
  • And then there's Emma Caulfield, whose delivery of "Oh look pretty" is amazing.
  • Ugh they're still talking about the line of succession as if it goes into effect when Buffy dies. The succession line has moved onto Faith. This is never going to not bother me, the clumsiness of the writers on this score. It just leads to stupid back and forth in the fandom.
  • "Well, it's almost like this metaphor for womanhood, isn't it?" Hey look Andrew just named Joss's thesis for the genesis of this. #tbt to when Buffy got menstrual cramps whenever a vamp was near in the film.
  • Props to Xander for standing up for Dawn when the others are kind of (uncharacteristically?) dumping on her. Set up for his speech at the end of the episode.
  • Aw it's Clem, you guys! And apparently his face opens up in weirdass ways.


  • The Potentials all ship #Spuffy. Poor Daniel. [*sigh* - D]
  • "It takes just one vampire to kill you." Bit of a callback to "Fool For Love"?
  • Dawn failing to break the flagpole over her leg. Oops.
  • And now there are Bringers.
  • Aw, Dawn's realization. "You don't want her. You want me." Except they don't.
  • Dawn handing over the power and the weapon to Amanda - Xander's right, it's the most adult gesture we've seen from her.
  • And now we get to feel the feels, as Xander reminds Dawn he knows what it's like to not be Special, and that she herself is extraordinary.

Gross if you know what happens later...


Daniel's Thoughts:


  • Wow, we’re on season 7 still right?  Right.
  • Ok, we start with two potentials, Vi & Rona – one ok, one totally annoying. Any episode that starts with potentials instead of regulars can’t be good, right?
  • Oh hey, they’re tracking Spike. 
  • I mean, in a way Rona’s kinda right – they don’t have the slayer powers that Buffy has….but neither do Willow/Xander/Anya….  And also to be fair, it’s a miracle that Willow, Xander and Anya aren’t dead yet...
  • Ugh, all the Spuffy stuff, I just can’t.
  • Ugh, Does Buffy practice these speeches?  Where do they come from?  What is going on?  Why does Buffy have a slayer professor tenure [Maybe you get it automatically if you survive the cruciamentum. - Z]
  • Oh hey, an Anya mention.  She has resources.  But let’s continue to concentrate on the extras...
  • Hahah Chaka Kahn.
  • Omg, the 2003ness of the potentials outfits.
  • And Dawn is all sad face because she feels left out.
  • Hey, Amanda!
  • Buffy is a terrible guidance counselor…it’s almost as if she has no credentials.
  • “Sometimes that’s how people relate – being mean to each other.” – that’s a terrible feminist lesson, Buffy. 
  • “Hey, everybody look – it’s Willow….”  - 10-15 minutes into the episode.
  • So the seers see someone in Sunnydale who is a potential but don’t know where/who…why isn't it just assumed that they're just sensing the potentials already in Buffy’s house?
  • WHY IS ANDREW IN THE SCOOBY MEETING?
  • “I like to feel the wood in my hand” Kennedy: “lost me there” THAT IS A HINT THAT I AM A LESBIAN.  IT IS VERY VERY SUBTLE – DID YOU GET IT?
  • How awkward that Andrew and Willow sitting at the same dinner table… you know, with his best friend killing her girlfriend and her killing his best friend and stuff?
  • But let’s put all that aside.
  • Oh hey, Anya is sitting with everyone but has said nothing.
  • It’s actually really kinda sad that her hopes are built up that much.
  • Shut up, Andrew.  We have all the funny we need from Anya.
  • Im glad we’re concentrating on the scoobies right now and not so much the potentials.
  • Now of course, Dawn is going to prove...that she’s stupid…and run away.  Because that always works out.
  • “It’s a demon bar…like gay bar…but for demons”  Great comparison, Vi.  Maybe it’s like a straight bar…but for demons?  Why is ‘gay’ always the stepping stone for something. Like the conservative argument about marrying animals if we make gay marriage legal….like again…why is “gay” that stepping stone?  Why does it go straight – gay – ANIMALS.  Or  straight  - gay – DEMONS.  Fuck off.  Ok, I’m off my soap box.
  • I love that Clem can do the Beetlegeuse thing.   Nice reference.




  • I love when they play up the awkward klutziness of Dawn.  She thinks she’s a potential but she can’t even climb into a window.
  • Amanda’s twisted. I love it.
  • So Dawn…you’re really that stupid? Go in search of a vamp without any weapons? 
  • I mean it might not be a bad episode if pretty much every episode wasn't like this….season 7 is just so damn repetitive. We keep asking ourselves…which one is this again?
  • Yeah, I don’t know if I agree with this teaching, Buffy….just throwing them into mortal danger.
  • Dawn, pretty much: “the bringers are going to kill Amanda…that means I’m not a potential….how sad…for me…” 
  • Nice, job Amanda!
  • 2 minutes on the job and she did much better than the rest of the potentials put together.
  • To be fair, as soon as she realizes that Amanda is the potential, she gets all Buffy-Speech-Professor and encourages Amanda.   So that’s cool, I guess.
  • Oh no, is this the Xander, you’re extraordinary speech to Dawn? Cause I don’t care.

Favorite Lines:
Z: "Seven years, Dawn. Working with the Slayer. Seeing my friends get more and more powerful ... I saw what you did last night. You thought you were all special - Miss Sunnydale 2003. And the minute you found out you weren't you handed the crown to Amanda without a moment's pause. You gave her your power. They'll never know how tough it is, Dawnie, to be the one who isn't chosen. To live so near the spotlight and never step into it. But I know. I see more than anybody realizes because nobody's watching me. I saw you last night. I see you working here today. You're not special. You're extraordinary." - Xander
D: "One second you're just a klutzy teenager with fake memories and a history of kleptomania and now suddenly you're a hero! A hero with a much abbreviated life span!" - Anya 

Arc/Continuity Stuff:
Recurring: Rona, Vi, Molly, Kennedy, Buffy's job as counselor, Amanda, Andrew, the demon bar (is it still Willy's place?), Clem, Bringers
Stats:
Anya's Hair - dark blonde, shoulder length, straight
Dead Humans - 0
Dead Undeads - 5
Dead Potentials - 0
Dead Flashbacks - 0
Giles Unconscious - 0
Giles Cleans His Glasses - 0
Buffy Breaks a Door - 0
Buffy Makes A Speech - 1
Evil Reveal - 0
Unevil Reveal - 0
Shenanigans Called - 0
Apocalypse Called - 0


Tuesday, November 15, 2016

Yeah, Buffy. What Are We Gonna Do Now?


We're not sure if you guys have noticed, but we're officially halfway through the final season of watching Buffy, Slayer of the Vampyrs. That's kind of a scary place to be. Not just because the season's just getting worse from here, but because we're going to run out of show soon.


Okay so probably at this point we should figure out what show we want to do next. Zelda's chief concern is that no show will work quite so well as Buffy for this, since both of us have it so thoroughly memorized in a way we will probably never have for other show.

That being said. We can still have a lot of fun. If we can just decide what show to do next. Also if we can decide whether to rebrand this URL or start up a new one. Decisions!

We'd love your feedback, gentle readers. You're at least 15% of why we expend valuable energy, time, and money on delivery food to write this blog.



Possible shows:
Angel
Veronica Mars
Friends
Pushing Daisies
Community
Dead Like Me

Please share with us your thinks.


Tuesday, November 8, 2016

I'm Bored. Episode One Bored.

Episode 7.11: Showtime. Original Airdate 1.7.03

"Buffy teaches the Potential Slayers a valuable lesson as she faces a final fight with the Uber-vampire. Meanwhile, Giles and Anya enter another dimension to find a demon which holds the answer [to] defeating The First. What they find out is very disturbing."

Daniel's Thoughts:

  • Ugh, it’s Rona.
  • Hey, remember phonebooks?
  • Hey Rona’s not too insufferable…yet. "Welcome to the Hellmouth!" Ooh, Buffy quoted the pilot episode’s title!
  • Can I just say, I love that they show of Anya in the credits where she’s holding the baseball in the center of it? I kinda want to see her play baseball now.
  • “It’s starting to get a little crowded.” How are we feeding them again?
  • Here’s three more potentials: Vi, Eve & Chloe. Hey, it’s nerd-celeb Felicia Day!
  • So I guess everyone’s staying there, now…for protection, I guess.
  • Ugh, there’s that insufferable Rona. “I thought hungry was English for hungry.” Ugh, shut up Rona.
  • Aww, I missed the Anya/Giles banter.
  • “We just happened to be invited to the same massacre.”
  • Ugh, why is Anya trying to trade sex for help? It’s so beneath her. I don't believe for a minute that she would do that.

  • Anya, you’re beautiful. Stop, it.
  • It’s interesting how their backgrounds are different: some have watchers; some don’t.
  • One thing that I’ll agree with Andrew: Timothy Dalton was an underrated Bond.
Never forget.

  • But the thing is about Andrew. They’re trying to make him all funny and stuff except he killed his friend. He’s a cold-ass murderer.  And it just happened.
  • I love sassy demons. The eye: “What am I talking to myself here?”
  • Omg, shut up Rona. (I should keep a running tally of how many times I yell 'shut up [random potential]'
  • Ugh, also shut up, “Eve”
  • See, I do like Kennedy at this point. Because she keeps the potentials in check.
  • See, this is why Willow needs Giles.
  • Run! Everybody run!
  • Did Buffy just stake a bringer? I guess a stab through the heart will kill anyone.
  • Ok, so holy water works somewhat on an Uber vamp.
  • Ugh, shut up Chloe. The Potentials are such whiners. Omg.
  • Willow namechecks the title.
  • It’s a good plan to bring the potentials together to show that Buffy can kill this thing – but….how exactly does Buffy know she can kill this thing? Especially since it kicked her ass so hard-core-ly last time.
  • Oh…is that a construction site that Xander’s been "working" at?
  • This plan has so many holes. It’s just as likely to fail miserably. It’s not so much a plan as “let’s take a chance.”
  • So an Uber Vamp basically needs to be beheaded.
  • No, Spike! That’s actually Buffy!

Never forget 2: the Never Forgettening


Zelda's Thoughts: 

  • Okay, so here we are in January. The show's timeline took a hiatus to catch up with the airing, one presumes. Buffy's injuries are all healed. Rona's arrived, and there are other new Potentials at the house. Yes? So they've been hiding from the Ubervamp, NOT taking the fight to him, and also leaving Spike to his fun torture sessions? Is that the long and short of it? Gosh a lot happened over the holidays. Buffy's even got her snappy quippy self back with her "picking on someone my own size" bit.
  • If Kennedy were a better actor, if she had any kind of chemistry with Willow, if if if. If Kennedy weren't just annoying.
  • Aw it is nice to see Felicia Day.
  • "Maybe we can save the maybes for a more dayish part of the day, girls."
  • Giles took off his glasses but he's not cleaning them. You know why? BECAUSE HE'S EVIL AND HE HAS NO HEAD.
  • Oh right the random stupid useless eye thing that Anya and Giles randomly and uselessly visit and why are we wasting time on this.
  • One thing I will say for Spike getting held captive so long and trusting that Buffy will come for him - it's a good reversal on the trope of the princess in the tower 
  • "It's the hair, right? Not attractive?" Guys, I think I only JUST made the connection that her hair color and style changes so much is because of her intense insecurity about her appearance
  • "I heard there's more than one." // "More than one what?" // "Slayer. There's another one - somewhere." // "That doesn't make any sense."
  • Kennedy: "I'm starting to think it might be too late for me." She's past 18, so ... yep. At least by the old rules.
  • "I'm so alone." // "Then maybe you shouldn't have killed your only friend." Tom Lenk is very funny but Andrew you are being twitchy and annoying and I do enjoy Dawn shutting you down. Especially when - as Daniel pointed out - she's right and HE JUST KILLED SOMEONE. And he doesn't have the "I didn't have a soul" excuse that certain peroxided vampires do.
  • WHY IS THE GIANT EYEBALL MADE OF EYES A THING.
  • Okay I'm not quite going to call this c plot a shenanigan, but I will call a shenanigan on how it's interpreted. The eyeball made of eyes says the First is striking because the line of succession got messed with. ("The mystical forces surrounding the chosen line have become irrevocably altered, become unstable, vulnerable.") Anya interprets that as being the fault of the Scoobies, for bringing Buffy back last season. And timeline-wise, I can see why she reaches that conclusion, BUT. You know, and I know, and the American people know that the line of succession got its divergence the moment Kendra was called. The line of succession switched over to Kendra, then Faith. A third Slayer wasn't called when Buffy died the second time. We had two Slayers running around for a few years there, and we had only a few months of Only One Slayer to Rule Them All again. Buffy's return to life shouldn't be relevant.
  • Also since this is like the last time this will be brought up, I guess we can forget all about the weirdass eye thing.
  • Anyway. It's time for the scene where the Scoobies are secretly having a psychic conference.
  • "It's because she lives again." See nooooooooooooooooo no no that changed nothing. There were two Slayers before. There were just a few months there where there was only one Slayer in play again, that's all. This is bullshit.
  • Dramatically, it is a fun stunt, the Scoobies crafting an arena display for the Potentials of how good Buffy is at what she does. "I'm the thing that monsters have nightmares about, and right now you and me are gonna show them why."

  • Joss at least has acknowledged (not that it fixes this hole in the plot) that there's a massive inconsistency being set up in how difficult it is for Buffy to slay just one Turok-Han, and the comparative ease with which the Potentials - first un-activated, then mid-fight activated - take on a whole army of them in the finale. I guess we'll deal with that later.
  • Ooooh time for my weekly Spuffy scene. Time for some excellent JM face acting. Buffy rescued Spike! They're staring meaningfully at each other! Shut up, I love it.



Favorite Lines:

Daniel:  The eye sees not the future, only the truth of the now and before.
Yes, we've all got that - it's called memory. - Beljoxa's Eye/Anya
Zelda: "I'm the thing that monsters have nightmares about."  Buffy


Arc/Continuity Stuff:

  • First appearance: Rona, Vi, Eve, Chloe
  • Recurring: Bringers, Kennedy, Molly, Andrew, The First (as Eve, Buffy), Turok-Han, kittens as currency, Andrew's love for Timothy Dalton, "Here endeth the lesson"
  • Last appearance: Eve
  • Shoutout to Andrew's days of summoning demons

Stats:

Anya's Hair - blonder, loose curls, chin length
Dead Humans - 1
Dead Undeads - 7
Dead Potentials - 1
Dead Flashbacks - 0
Giles Unconscious - 0
Giles Cleans His Glasses - 0
Buffy Breaks a Door - 1
Turok-Han Breaks a Door - 1
Buffy Makes a Rousing Speech - 1
Evil Reveal - 1 (Eve is the First!)
Unevil Reveal - 0
Shenanigans Called - 1
Apocalypse Called - 0

Tuesday, November 1, 2016

A Slight Apocalypse

Episode 7.10: Bring on the Night. Original Airdate 12.17.02 




"Giles returns to Sunnydale with three potential slayers, whom Buffy must protect from The First. Meanwhile, a ferocious Uber-vampire is released from the Hellmouth and Buffy must kill it before it kills one of the potentials."







Zelda's Thoughts:

  • Ugh. It's time for the Potentials and Headless Giles.
  • November 16th! Let's go! Possibly still late in the day of November 15th but it'll be the 16th soon. 
  • "It's a loop. It's like the mummy hand. I'm doomed to replace these windows for all eternity."
  • Anya has adorable glasses.
  • Poor Buffy. Dreaming of Joyce and it breaks my heart. BTW I'm pretty sure that's just a dream and not The First, but feel free to argue with me.
  • Aw man, we haven't seen Dru in aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaages. Another good thing to say for S7 is bringing back old friends.
  • Yes, I'm finding good things to say before I start my bitching and moaning. The Potentials are nearly here.
  • Okay now it's definitely morning and therefore the 16th.
  • Andrew calling Shenanigans on The First as an un-intimidating name is kind of adorable. "Not very ominous-sounding." 

  • Wow, so Wood cleaned up Jonathan's corpse just in time for The First to bleed Spike over the Seal. Wood probably barely escaped getting all sliced and diced himself.
  • LOL Buffy and Wood both awkwardly holding shovels and finding each other suspiciously wandering the whatment. [Base - Anya]
  • Still November 16thing.
  • At least the show is acknowledging the back-to-backness of its episodes, highlighting that Buffy hasn't slept in two days.
  • Damn, The First succeeded in its mission (begun in "Conversations") of scaring Willow off magic.
  • GILES IS HERE. AND HE HAS A HEAD.
  • And he ... brought the effing Potentials.
  • Ugh we're being trolled. Giles makes Annabelle carry all the props.
  • "There's evil and then there's the thing that created evil. The source."
  • "It has eternities to act, endless resources ..." and this is its crackerjack plan? Nathan Fillion as a sexist priest?
  • Kennedy isn't instantly annoying me to the degree of hatred I know we will reach - yet - but she's not a good actress, and I will admit the mediocre acting was the initial source of my dislike, back in the day. Same with my issues with ... other cast members previously bitcaed about.
  • So um. What's the point of torturing a vampire by "drowning" it? Angel told us in "Prophecy Girl" that their breath is useless? I'll call the same shenanigan we called when Spike suffocated Dru in "Becoming."
  • "Just in time for Christmas." THERE IT IS. GILES SAID IT. THE EPISODE AIRED ON DECEMBER 17TH, SUNNYDALE IS FULL OF CHRISTMAS DECORATIONS BUT THIS IS NOVEMBER 17TH AT THE LATEST. WHICH MEANS THANKSGIVING HASN'T HIT YET. [You've seen outside on November 17th, right? -D] Remember, how Buffy "hasn't slept in two days?" That's since "Conversations With Dead People." If they hadn't date-stamped the damn episode, I might be able to let this go. But I cannot. This is all balderdash and chicanery. Shenanigans.
  • On the plus side, I'll stop tracking the calendar now. It's just ... it's only been a few episodes and they're already jacking with the timeline worse than Grey's Anatomy.
  • "She seems like a good leader. Her hair is shiny."
  • How old is Kennedy supposed to be? Aren't the Potentials supposed to be teenagers? You're not supposed to be called once you're an adult. Because then they can't do that horrible 18th birthday shit (cruciamentum, yes of course I know the name, of course I didn't google that) that they like to do. [Edit: just checked the shooting script, which identifies Kennedy as being 19, so her relationship with Willow is legal, yay. But also that definitely means she's too old be to called, at least per tradition before the whammo in "Chosen."]
  • Also per the shooting script, apparently they intended Molly to be "a Brit of East Indian heritage." Oops?
  • OMG I forgot this was the scene where Anya's got some muttery monologue under the scene of everyone else. So random and weird. ends with "stinky old sponge"? She's just flat out muttering. None of it's scripted. But it's my favorite rando line in the ep.
  • Also Anya's wearing a leather fringe cowboy jacket.
  • Sunnydale is so big it has a permanent lot that, when not covered in Christmas trees, is just open and unused, thus no one has fallen through until Buffy did just now. Okay, sure, let's go with that.
  • Oh shit. Buffy found the Ubervamp.
  • That terrifying moment when it just removes the stake from its heart.
  • And one extra bit of trolling from the writers to us - is the Ubervamp scared off by the rising sun, or by Giles?
  • Aw, Buffy's search option tabs are web pages or chat rooms. 2002, you guys. So near and yet so far.
  • "What kind of movies do you like?" // "Oh me?" he said mysteriously, his face neutral, not facing her as he answered, "mysteries." I SEE YOU, SHOW.
  • "You're not Drusilla ... she was crazier than you."
  • Why is she calling Spike Daddy? Angelus is her Daddy, Darla is her Grandmother and Child, and Spike's her child. blah blah blah
  • So like. Is The First just having the Turok-Han beat the shit out of Spike for the hell of it? What is the endgame here? I'm genuinely curious. Spike was abducted to open the seal, okay, cool. It doesn't want the souled vampire dead or it would just kill him. Its vague purpose, with both Angel and Spike, seemed to be to have the souled vampire in proximity to Buffy, to weaken her. So what's the reasoning here? Oh right, THERE ISN'T ANY. Ugh. I can see the season falling apart in front of me and it's making me sad.
  • "Are you saying M. Night Shyamalan lied to us?"
  • "I admit, I went over to the dark side, but just to pick up a few things, and now I'm back. I've learned. I'm good again ... I'm like Vader in the last five minutes of Jedi with redemptive power of ... Mine is a redemptive struggle of epic redemption, which chronicles ... these ropes itch."
  • Oh Annabelle, you stupid summer child. It's time to die.
  • Oh man, watching Buffy limp-run away from the Ubervamp. It's scary and upsetting. She's not supposed to be our damsel in distress.
  • Turok's not even running. Because he knows he doesn't have to.
  • Buffy drops a pike of steel pipes on him, he gets up fine.
  • To Spike: "Do you know why you're alive?" The audience is wondering the same thing, First!Dru.
  • "She does, because she believes in me." A small bone thrown to the Spuffy shippers, in the midst of the despair of the episode.
  • Okay but we've got a great rousing speech from Buffy, right before the holiday hiatus, and I loved it, and I was excited for the rest of the season. After this is when I first started to get let down by what I thought was lost in the season's potential.
  • "We can't run, can't hide, can't pretend it's not the end, 'cause it is. Something's always been there to try to and destroy the world. We've beaten them back, but we're not dealing with them anymore. We're dealing with the reason they exist. Evil. The strongest. The First ... I'm beyond tired. I'm beyond scared. I'm standing on the mouth of hell, and it is gonna swallow me whole. And it'll choke on me. We're not ready? They're not ready. They think we're gonna wait for the end to come, like we always do. I'm done waiting ... There is only one thing on this earth more powerful than evil, and that's us. Any questions?" She's beat up, but she's still so strong. She's our hero.



  • And actually the next episode wasn't necessarily disappointing, but since it was a break in the airing, it was enough of a divide for me in terms of the blahhing of the season.
  • Also I'm preemptively pissed that after this awesome speech, they spend a lot of the rest of the season making fun of Buffy - who was basically pushed into her role as General by Giles and the rest - making fun of her for her rousing speeches. Do they want her to lead or don't they?
  • "Empty Places" is going to be a mess for us.


Daniel's Thoughts:

  • I love that this episode starts exactly like the last one – Xander cleaning up the window. 
  • Everyone loves hitting Andrew. 
  • Aww, Joyce.   And this seems like she’s not The First.  It’s a dream….maybe it really was Joyce?  “You need to wake up.” Sounds like good advice. 
  • Drusilla! 
  • The Uber Vamp has killer fashion sense. 
Just in from Milan


  • Andrew pronounced Voldermort correctly way before JK Rowling corrected us. 
  • “The Satanic Manhole” – sounds like a bad gay club name. 
  • Heyyyy, what are you guys doing here with shovels…..awkward. 
  • “I was….helping Dawn with a school project.”  “I was returning a shovel.”  Ugh, you’re all such terrible liars. 
  • Dawn: “Kids today like Redbull and Jackass!”  Yes….it was a terrible time. 
  • “Things are starting to back-up [with your made-up job.]” 
  • Uh oh.  Willow’s spell back-fired?  Must be Tuesday. 
  • GILES!  Ooh, notice that Buffy starts to go to hug Giles but is interrupted.  Well directed because you wouldn’t notice it until we find out why. 
  • Wow, Anya’s hair changed a lot in the last…day. 
  • And here are the potentials…    Starting with three: Kennedy, Molly & Annabelle. 
Spoiler: one of us will die but who?!


  • “Yeah, he’ll help – if he’s not crazy or all killing people…or dead.  Or you know, all of the above.” 
  • Why is putting Spike’s head under water torture when he doesn’t breathe? (Z already called the shenanigan above)
  • Sunny California in December.  Look at all those heavy coats. 
  • See?  This is why I hated Kennedy.  There is absolutely no reason for Willow to have a relationship now.  She went mad and almost destroyed the world six months ago because her girlfriend was killed.  Almost.  Destroyed. The World.   And now she’s given a potential (pun intended) girlfriend?  WTF?  Let the girl be single for a while. 
  • And meanwhile Anya & Xander will remain single for the rest of the season except for that one date Xander goes on.
  • How do you burn Mac & Cheese? [Let me tell you a thing. - Z]
  • I like Anya’s weird cowgirl jacket. 
  • Seriously, how are we going to feed all these girls?  Especially when there’s more coming.  No one has money.  Buffy’s the only one with a job.  I guess Xander….but neither of them make enough to support all these girls.  I wonder if Willow has a trust fund or something from her parents?  We never find out.  And where are the Rosenbergs anyway?  Man, train of thought is running away from the station right there.  And why isn’t Anya working?  How does she pay for her apartment? [Remember that bank she robbed? - Z]
  • Stakes don’t work on ubervamps?  Ok?  At least sun does? I guess? 
  • Giles: “I thought they were a myth.” Me: You were myth-taken 
  • Hahahaha. Buffy is googling “Evil” and a website called Evil Evil Evil pops up. 
  • Dude, Principal Wood – don’t look at your employee’s desktops. 
  • Man, Dru is so skinny. 
  • See Joyce touched her.  This is a dream.  The real Joyce or Buffy’s subconscious; I don’t think it matters. 
  • There didn’t seem to be a big Willow/Giles reunion when he came back.  They shared something incredibly real.  Willow thought she might be coming back too soon. Why hasn’t there been a scene with them yet? 
  • Annabelle split.  Why?  Where was she running to?  Why at night?  Why did she pick this moment to run? 
  • How did she get to this storage unit park or…whatever they’re called and how did Buffy track her there?  Is it right around the corner from Chez Summers? 
  • Wow.  This vamp is so powerful.  How will they every defeat it….and the 1000000000000000 of them beneath the surface? 
  • Giles is being such a downer. 
  • And here’s the start of the Buffy speeches.
  • Buffy: “Anyone who wants to run, do it now.”  Or, ya know…wait til sunlight. 

Crossfire!
D: [before episode starts] "I liked Kennedy at first. She was the only one I liked. She was the only smart one. She did things. I just didn't think she was a good match for Willow."
Z: *quietly leaves apartment and never returns*

Dawn: Kids of today liked Red Bull and Jackass!
D: *groans and looks pained*
 
Favorite Lines:
Z: (unfortunately, couldn't discern most of Anya's mutterings but it ends with) "I'll just rub away with the stinky old sponge." - Anya
D: "Yeah, he'll help. If he's not crazy. Or killing people. Or dead. Or, you know, all of the above." - Anya

Arc/Continuity Stuff:
Recurring: Joyce (Dream/Hallucination), Bringers, Turok-Han, The First (as Spike, Dru), Andrew, Wood, Giles, Buffy's dayjob
First appearance: Kennedy, Molly, Annabelle
Last appearance: Annabelle

Stats:
Anya's Hair - light brown, pageboyish cut; chunky curls on day two
Dead Humans - 1
Dead Undeads - 0
Dead Flashbacks - 2
Dead Potentials - 1
Giles Unconscious - 0
Giles Cleans His Glasses - 0
Buffy Breaks a Door - 0
Buffy Breaks a Wall (with her body) - 1
Turok-Han Breaks a Buffy - 1
Buffy Makes a Rousing Speech - 1
Evil Reveal - 0
Unevil Reveal - 0
Shenanigans Called - 2
Apocalypse Called - 1