PLEASE NOTE: THIS IS A SPOILER-RICH ZONE

PLEASE NOTE: THIS IS A SPOILER-RICH ZONE. If your diet requires you to dine on Buffy Spoiler-free ... good luck with that.

Tuesday, September 1, 2015

Dance of Capitalist Superiority

Episode 6.6: All the Way. Original Airdate 10.30.01  




"Dawn lies to Buffy and goes out with a boy on Halloween, but when the boy turns out to be a vampire ignoring the Halloween-no-killing rule, Buffy and the guys must save her...again."







Zelda's Thoughts:


  • I keep forgetting this episode exists.
  • "This is a special kind of Angel called a Charlie."
  • TINY BABY WITCH. Daniel thinks she looks like me. I don't know how to feel about that.
Baby Zelda!

  • Seriously, though, the little curls in Spike's hair have been great this season. Shut up, stop judging me.
  • Buffy's brain going all dirty with Spike innuendosssssssss ... foreshadowing too?
  • "So much easier to talk to when he wanted to kill me."
  • Giles is dressed as a wizard. But I miss his wizard hat.


Buffy hid it.  

  • "If anything calamitous should happen, history suggests it'll happen to one of us." Now THAT is the kind of meta I can get behind. I love it so hard.
  • No wonder this guy tricks us into thinking he's evil. He's whistling "Pop Goes the Weasel" over and over. That's right up there with ironing your jeans.
  • "Store go boom." 
  • "All I can say is, I hope we make as much tomorrow." 
  • Anya with the money, doing a happy dance. So cute. I want to be friends with her and dance with the money.



  • Why are they not reacting happily to the engagement? What kind of shitty friends are they? Anya's awesome. 


  • Giles and Tara are both worried about how easily Willow resorts to magic when she doesn't have to. See, this - the arc of Willow and her magic addiction, which is about control/power - this is well constructed, building slowly. The arc makes sense (even if the metaphor is wonky) and doesn't have weird back and forth jumps, like Buffy's depression does.
  • Because for the past two episodes Buffy seems like she's doing better. She doesn't seem numb. And then she spirals back down once she reveals she was in Heaven, and it's all with the self-loathing and punishment and Spike sex and ... I don't know, it doesn't make a lot of sense to me, linear-arc-wise.
  • It's Amber Tamblyn! Daughter of Russ Tamblyn, aka this guy!

This is for you, Harley!

  • Parking lot! Do a shot!
  • This is actually pretty realistic, in terms of how stupid-boy the guys are being with their pranks. HAR HAR HAR WE LET THE AIR OUT ON THE TIRES OF YOUR MINIVAN.
  • Why would Xander and Anya want a house? He has a magical apartment that invents rooms at a moment's notice.
  • Hey, remember The Unusuals? Starring Amber Tamblyn and Harold Perrineau and my ex-boyfriend Jeremy Renner? I liked that show. [Me too, -D]
  • That's a weird-ass pumpkin tho
  • "Don't make me go kung fu on you, man." YOU ARE SO WHITE.
  • Oh see, Creepy Old Man invited them in. Vampires welcome.
  • "Who wants to help Daddy in the kitchen? How about you, Sally?" Seriously, he may not be a vampire or a pedo, but he's still unnerving as hell.
  • Gasp Justin's a vampire.
  • "So I was thinking maybe a June wedding, and then I remembered the season's usually over in May." That's ... what she said, right?
  • "Rupert is an exceptionally strong name." Anya's reaction is the best.

  • Dawn looks really pretty this episode. Too bad I'm pretty bored by this ep
  • Um Justin. That's not where your heart is. You're a bad vampire.
  • These kids are out late. I remember getting my trick or treating done relatively early.
  • Aw Giles is getting the parent call about Dawn's whereabouts.
  • Aw Tara's not joining in the dancing. Because she's still feeling awkward about the magics? Or because of Willow's heinous fashion choice?
  • Behold our UPN-ness! Another Willow/Tara kiss.
  • Oh, Tara's stuttering returns, as she tries to talk Willow out of abusing magic.
  • Wow, Willow really does get mean when her use of magic is challenged. First when she threatened Giles, and then when she tells Tara coldly to keep her mouth shut.
  • Heh, I'm gonna take Justin's vamping while kissing Dawn as a callback to Angel vamping after making out with Buffy. [It seems like the vamp equivalent of a har- err...never mind. - D]
  • "Mist, cemetery, Halloween, should end well. *trips and falls over*" Yep, Giles and I are basically the same.
  • "Like you weren't asking for it." // "I feel certain she wasn't." Go Giles you're the best PLEASE DON'T LEAVE US AGAIN.
  • I'm not ready for the end of Tabula Rasa.
  • "You're not like other girls. You're different." Man, these are such cliche lines.
  • SuperGiles to the rescue of teenage girls everywhere.
  • WTF is this circle the gathering place of random vampires who decided not to take the night off after all.
  • "I didn't know he was dead." // "Living dead." // "Shut up."
  • "We're rebels" // "No, I'm the rebel. You're an idiot"
  • Buffy says goodbye to Spike with a "Good fight" - they're friendly now, which I guess is a good lead in to where we're going, even if the sexual relationship is based in self-degradation maaaaaaaaaaaan why is my Spuffy doomed to be so fucked up.
  • Willow, know your audience. Don't joke about fixing her fight with a spell.
  • ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU IMMEDIATELY FIX YOUR FIGHT WITH A SPELL.
  • Seriously, this is so messed up. Tara's had her brain turned to mush only a few months ago, and Willow thinks she has the right to do this. To just wipe Tara's memory of the fight, so that Willow can have it easier. So that she's not being called out on what she's doing. BY DOING EXACTLY WHAT SHE WAS BEING CALLED OUT FOR IN THE FIRST PLACE.
  • It's just all kinds of messed up. It's awful. Bad Willow, Bad. You deserve what's coming to you in Tabula Rasa. Poor Tara.

Daniel's Thoughts:


Thanks Lucas for the gif!

  • Halloween!
  • Anya has the  best hair in this episode.  Also, she’s a great roller skater!
  • Kid wearing a plastic fireman outfit:  “You’re not a real pirate” /irony
  • TINY KID WITCH IS SO CUTE AND I AM IMAGING THAT IS HOW LITTLE ZELDA LOOKED.
  • Looping reference from last episode.
  • Ugh, the gratuitous flirting.
  • Lots of continuity in this episode.  References to the last two Halloween episodes.
  • Creepy old man’s house looks like the Summers’ house but only on the outside.
  • Anya is so excited about being successful!
  • The Dance of capitalist superiority! 




  • Yay!  Xander finally has balls and tells everyone about getting married.
  • Shut up, Willow.  Be happy, for them.
  • Wow, impromptu engagement party!
  • “Can I try it on?” “Absolutely not”
  • Eh, I don’t really understand why Tara’s so up in arms about Willow using magic for lame things.
  • Dawn walks weird. 
  • Amber Tamblyn!!!  I first knew Amber as Emily Quartermaine on General Hospital.  Also, daughter of Russ Tamblyn of West Side Story and Twin Peaks fame.
  • HS Jock is pretty hot.  And I can say that because he’s like 30.
  • I know it’s lame and obvious, but I kinda like the “All the way” metaphor.
  • It’s nice that Giles is being supportive about Xander/Anya marriage.  But also giving him things to think about.
  • I also like the unevil reveal/evil reveal of this episode.
  • I mean this guy is painted as a really crazy and possibly evil but really…just a sad old crazy man.  And who knows? He might have been eventually dangerous.  But we’ll never know.
  • Ugh. I’d hate to be a teenager for the rest of my life.
  • So, I'm thinking maybe a June weddingbut then I remembered that they always have the highest percentage of calls for vengeance..."
  • And oh god…Xander’s face is just the worst.
  • Anya’s reaction to Giles' suggestion to Rupert as a child's name:



  • “How often does the universe allow that to happen?” Foreshadowing, Anya. ;(
  • Xander is being the worst.  Stop thinking about the bad.  This is a good thing.  You love her, Xander.  Stop being a man.  At least Buffy is encouraging.
  • Dude.  Justin. She’s 15.
  • The “We’re staying at someone else’s house”.  Xander and Willow did that in a season 1 or 2 episode.  Essentially, when they were Dawn’s age.
  • Aww, Dawn.  I remember my first time sitting in a parked car….  Err…  I was a little older than Dawn, though.
  • I mean how do you even consider turning someone after one date?  So he’s a creepy vamp, but at least this guy is better at commitment than Xander.
  • Hey the bronze!  I feel like we haven’t been here in a while.
  • “I’m just gonna shift everyone who isn’t a 15 year old girl into an alternate dimension.”  Ok, now I see why Tara is worried.
  • Why is Giles patrolling without a weapon??
  • Go Giles! He  doesn’t need a weapon.  He’s got his fists!  And…a convenient tree branch.
  • “Were you parking with a vamp?” “I didn’t know he was dead.”
  • “How could you not know?” Umm, Buffy… really?  Angel much?
  • Giles will take care of the girl vamps.
  • Wow, this one guy is tougher than usual vamps.  I’m loving this extended vamp fight scene.
  • “Where do I order obscenely muscular male strippers?”
  • A great thing about this episode is how amazingly it sets up Once More with Feeling.
  • I just…Dawn.  She’s acting like a teenager.  Which is what she is.  And everyone keeps being surprised when she does.  And she’s a teenager that lives in Sunnydale.  She needs to be prepared for more than just potential date rapists.  And that’s enough for any teenage girl to be worried about but she also has to worry about vampires draining her blood and demons tearing her apart.  Buffy may not want her to be a Scooby, but just by being there, Dawn faces the same dangers as all of them.


Crossfire!
Justin: Be still, my heart. 
Zelda: That's not where your heart is.
Daniel: He's forgiven because he has really high cheekbones.
Zelda: Really? I think he looks like a weird rubber alien. Benedict Cumberface meets Matt Smith.

Favorite Lines:
Zelda: 
Daniel: "Where do I order extremely muscular male strippers?" - Anya

Arc/Continuity Stuff:

Recurring: Giles, Tara, Dawn's kleptomania, Giles wearing a wizard costume, Willow over-using magic, Anya's adoration of money 
Foreshadowing: Xander's eyepatch
Xander and Anya finally reveal their engagement.
Dawn's and Janice's subterfuge about the sleepover is a callback to what Willow, Xander, and Buffy used to do on late research nights.
Willow wipes Tara's memory of the fight with lethe's bramble

Stats:
Anya's Hair -















Dead Humans - 1
Dead Undeads - 7
Dead Flashbacks - 0
Giles Unconscious - 0
Giles Cleans His Glasses - 1
Buffy Breaks a Door - 0
Evil Reveal - 2
Unevil Reveal - 1
Shenanigans Called - 0
Apocalypse Called - 0


Wednesday, August 26, 2015

Evil Lint



Episode 6.5: Life Serial. Original Airdate 10.23.01



"The Geek Trio begin their plans by testing Buffy's abilities and subsequently ruining her attempts at employment."




Daniel's Thoughts:

  • I gotta go on record and say I don’t love this episode.
  • Well at least Willow & Tara contribute by making food.
  • "I’m a breast girl myself."  Yay, awkward lesbian humor.
  • Oh yeah, Angel and Buffy saw each other…except we don’t get to see it because different networks now.
  • Giles: What are you going to do with your life?  Great dinner conversation, Giles.
  • Ugh.  A trio episode.
  • I still don’t understand why Jonathan wants to destroy Buffy.  She’s helped him so many times.  Is he that desperate for friends?  Like, none of the shenanigans he got up to was really about destroying the town or being a supervillain like those other two.
  • "Introduction to Pies." I think that was a Community episode.
  • Ok, so the first nerd’s plan.  The button that makes Buffy slow? Or everyone else fast? Is that what it does? It’s never fully clear.  Does it speed up time?
  • Ok, so this first part, it looked to Tara like she was just standing there looking at the book.  But what about everyone else? Once Tara went to class.  Did everyone think she was a statue?  And then after class, Tara was standing there talking to her.  Did she just walk away when  Buffy was standing there?  And then everyone is going so fast that they bumped into her and she fell.  Did they not see her? Was she invisible?  This entire plan gets a huge SHENANIGAN.  It makes absolutely no sense.  Just physically, it makes absolutely no sense. We never see the other perspective so we never know what’s actually happening.
  • Buffy: “Retail?  I’d rather be dead. Again.”  Aww, she still has her sense of humor.
  • Tony and the Construction Boys don’t want a giiiirrrrll on their team.
  • Trio plan #2:   This one works more because with the misogyny of the average male.
  • BUFFY’S STRONG, BITCHES.


  • I love that Buffy is chatting, though, like she’s with her friends.
  • Yes, they’re nerds so they like Star Trek.  We get it.  And they treat each other like the members of Big Bang Theory, another nerd crew who talk down to each other and treat each other like shit.
  • I like the demon with what looks like pigtails.  I wonder what they do...
  • And it really sucks that none of these construction guys can admit that Buffy saved their lives.  But yeah, that’s the whole point of this act.  GIRLS CAN’T BE STRONG AND ON OUR TEAM.
  • Those are huge binoculars.
  • I love the Star Wars honk.  There’s a garage in my neighborhood with a car that plays the Godfather theme.
  • Why is Xander being such an asshole? [Because he’s Xander. - Everyone]  What was Buffy supposed to do?  Not save their lives?
  • “That time of the month, huh?”  ugh.  Fuck, man.
  • Why is Xander firing her?  This is seriously an awesome job for Buffy.
  • OK, plan #3 is the worst…we’ll get to it.
  • Clue #1 that Andrew is gay: internalized homophobia.
  • Also, “Stop touching my magic bone!”  heh.
  • The nerd stuff is so put on sometimes.
  • Here we go, #3.
  • “That woman! Go sell her something.” Anya is encouraging!
  • Ancient Mummy hand….This isn’t Warehouse 13
  • She’s looping.  So, time isn’t looping.  She’s just looping? Or everyone in the magic box is looping? Are they resetting?  I mean…after this all ends, will it be the same time inside and out?  Is she just in a simulation? Are Anya & Giles real?  They have no memory of the looping.  Are they just simulations and Buffy's not at the Magic Box at all?  Nothing is ever explained. Also, physics.  SHENANIGANS.
  • Yes, it’s really funny.  But it makes no sense.
  • “Picture yourself naked.”
  • Also, why doesn’t she ask for help?  Why doesn’t she just ask Giles?  About the time thing OR she can just ask him how to handle the hand?  He must know.  Or Anya must know. They run the shop! 
  • And now she confides in Spike.  Why?  Ugh.  Stop.
  • And now, resorting to drinking… Not a smart move.  Though it makes an excellent gif


  • Stop drinking if you don’t like the alcohol taste, Buff!
  • First appearance of Clem!  Yay!
  • “I need a moment with my lady.” Ew.
  • Connery/Moore argument.  Big in my family. 
  • Andrew, “I like Timothy Dalton”.  Only time I’m gonna agree with Andrew. Dalton was an underrated Bond.  He was the dark Bond.
  • Buffy saved the kittens!
  • For nerds who can manipulate time, they sure are lame with the theatrics.
  • Ok, laughs aside – and there are a lot of them – this whole episode is lame.  Just because it’s a sci fi  fantasy show, doesn’t mean it can just dump on all of its premade rules.  A sci fi show is better for having those rules and not breaking them.  You just can’t throw physics in the wind for the sake of comedy.  It just doesn’t make sense with or without the concept of the show.
  • And besides, if the trio are so powerful that they can manipulate time, why don’t they ever use it again?   It’s probably the most valuable thing they can do.  Much more than those stupid jet packs they get later.  Hell why do they even need jet packs? By this episodes logic, they can create something to make them fly.  Or make them appear to fly.  Or appear to loop to fly?

Zelda's Thoughts:

  • I can't waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaait for the Mummy Hand. And Clem. Even if this is basically Proto-Clem and we get the real Clem later.
  • Oh right, Buffy just saw Angel.
  • Buffy's hair is so pretty.
  • I wonder if Buffy told Angel she was in Heaven. I kind of assume she did. She wouldn't feel the need to perform happiness for Angel like she does for the Scoobies. He's all about the brood.
  • Umm this auditing thing Willow and Tara suggest, Buffy just crashing classes at UC SunnyD without registering - is that a thing you can do? You couldn't do that at NYU. Not in a room that small, anyway.
  • You know, I really enjoyed the Trio on my first few watches of the series. But now ... I just. I hate Warren so much. Adam Busch is great at playing him, but I fucking hate him and his misogyny and awfulness and it's hard to find them as funny.
  • I do still love Danny Strong and always will. Our award-winning Jonathan.
  • "This is gonna be great." Ah yes, Buffy's opener for each act this ep.
  • Hey did you guys know Douglas Petrie worked on Clarissa Explains It All? True story. I may or may not have just finished a marathon on Hulu. Also true story. I ... don't know why I brought that up.
  • Warren  waving at the camera tho is kind of cute. You could almost write him off as a stupid kid if he weren't a raging douchebaguette.
  • I'm glad Tara's confidence grew enough that the stuttering went away.
  • "What the f-" Aw Buffy and your almost swearing.
  • Buffy's cardigan has an 8, in this season's ongoing obsession with numbers.
  • So ... did Tara just like ... walk away from frozen Buffy? wtf? There's some kind of shenanigan to call here. (Daniel already covered this)
  • I do like the metaphor of this particular prank from the Trio - Buffy feels completely overwhelmed by the class she actually attends, which turns into the metaphor of everyone zooming around her and she can never, ever catch up.
  • The Trio do have great chemistry. Still three bags of dick on a stick.
  • Buffy looks super cute in her pigtails and hard hat.
  • "I'd rather be dead. Again." Buffy's spirits seem to be more optimistic this ep - or they start that way. She's quippy and taking action to improve her life (negotiating bill pay, trying to pick a direction, school slash work)
  • YEAH BUFFY YOU CARRY THAT BEAM. STRONG BUFFY.
  • *sigh* "We get paid by the hour. You wanna ruin it for the rest of us? Slow down." I hate the mentality that quashes ambitions toward efficiency and skill. Buffy is being punished for her abilities, and this is all kinds of not right.
  • HEY HERE'S A REVOLUTIONARY IDEA HOW ABOUT THE COUNCIL PAY BUFFY.
  • Aw man, I'm sad for Buffy. I feel like this could have been a good-ish use of her skills, at least to hold her over til she picks a career. And the fucking Trio bollixed it up for her.
  • Whereas everyone knows Buffy would suck at retail. And indeed does suck at retail. I can't believe she ends up working at the shitteous Doublemeat Palace. There've got to be better options.
  • Man, FUCK this noise. "That time of the month, huh." Your stereotype as a sexist construction worker is showing, Marco.
  • I'm glad Xander agrees she's being targeted with the last two adventures, and isn't trying to write off her instincts like the Scoobies sometimes do.
  • The Magic Box is next to a shop called Book Stew! I wanna go to the Book Stew shop!
  • It's time for the Mummy Hand sequence! I'm so excited.
  • "I can illustrate with an amusing story about a crystal." Anya is delightful.
  • "Why is the Slayer here, anyway? She's a student, she's a construction worker, and now she's some kind of .. selling stuff person?" // "It's like she's completely without focus." I SEE YOUR META. But it's also cute how confused the Trio is.
  • Aaaaaaaaaaand homophobia.
  • Next time don't burn stuff inside a van maybe.
  • Oh man, Giles is gonna clean his glasses SO MANY TIMES. I am excite.
  • I'm horrified that the Candle Customer thinks Essence of Slug is a seductive candle. I'm also horrified they sell a candle like that.
  • The Mummy Hand Customer has no sense of humor.
  • So ... no one else is aware of the Groundhog Day-ness of this sequence. But the Trio is as aware as Buffy. How/why? Is the looping limited to the confines of The Magic Box, or is the van also somehow protected, as the source of the spell? Imma go with limited to confines of the shop and move on.
  • "Yes, and then I'm going to marry Bob Dole and raise penguins in Guam."
  • THIS MUMMY HAND HAS CEASED TO BE. IT IS AN EX-MUMMY HAND.
Also, behold Giles cleaning his glasses FOREVER in the background.

  • And then Buffy breaks Giles's glasses and I laugh forever.
  • And - physics aside - one again the metaphor is great. The dull repetitive drudgery of retail, the utter impossibility of satisfied customers, the feeling that the day will never end.
  • Spike! It's Spike. (sorrynotsorry)
  • Aw Buffy. Getting drunk is not a lifestyle choice. Well, not a good one. Well, not a career one. But it's really too bad. She started the ep looking like things might be okay, like she's working through the depression, and she can be an adult and go around adulting everywhere. And the Trio sucked all that away from her. And so she drinks with Spike.
  • Although Buffy attempting to drink whiskey is adorable.
Spike agrees.

  • Spike's hair is all mussed and adorable but drop the "creature of the darkness" scenario. It's wrong.
  • Clem! It's Clem.
  • Kitten currency is rather absurd. It's cute as a gimmick, but why the hell do they bring it back in Tabula Rasa. Stupid.
  • Also cats are evil. I wrote an essay proving it.
  • "You're insane. You're short and you're insane." My sister and I used to use this one a lot.
  • Clem's meaner in this ep. I'm glad they turn him into a snack-eating teddy bear later. I love Clem. Season Six from Clem's perspective would be delightful.
  • Buffy agrees with me! Kittens are stupid currency.
  • Aw Buffy. "You were gonna help me! You were gonna beat heads and fix my life! But you're completely lame! Tonight sucks! And look at me! Look at, look at stupid Buffy! Too dumb for college, and freak Buffy, too strong for construction work, and my job at the magic shop? I was bored to tears even before the hour that wouldn't end! And the only person I can even stand to be around is a ... neutered vampire who cheats at kitten poker. Also? I think you're drunk." I feel for her. This has not been her week, even if I've been laughing a lot this ep.
  • Wtf are those lacy wings on this demon?
They just ... they seem rather flimsy for a demon of his girth.

  • Wow that exit was community theater levels of bad. JonaDemon is lucky Buffy and Spike are so drunk.
  • "Yeah, it was sexy the way she touched me real hard with her fists."
  • "I'm really screwing up, Giles." Buffy needs a hug, you guys. Group hug for Buffy!
  • GILES IS THE BEST. He gave Buffy money. Bless you, Giles. Now let's get the Council on giving Buffy a salary, mmmm?
  • "In this scenario, I am your mother?" NO, GILES, YOU ARE HER FATHER AND EVERYONE KNOWS IT. DADDY GILES.
  • NO, BUFFY, GILES WON'T ALWAYS BE THERE. DIDN'T YOU NOTICE HE'S ONLY A GUEST STAR NOW. HE'S JUST WAITING TO BREAK OUR HEARTS AGAIN.


Favorite Lines:

Daniel: "What the f--" *camera cuts away* - Buffy
Zelda: "Timothy Dalton should get an Oscar and beat Sean Connery over the head with it!" - Andrew




Arc/Continuity Stuff:

  • First appearance: Clem. Also the concept of kittens as currency.
  • Recurring: Tara, Giles, the Trio
  • Buffy and Angel reunited off-screen, in a place between UPN and WB.

Stats:

Anya's Hair - honey-blonde, chunky curls, with random weird braids
Dead Humans - 0
Dead Undeads - 3
Dead Flashbacks - 0
Giles Unconscious - 0
Giles Cleans His Glasses - 6 (YEAH MUMMY HAND)
Buffy Breaks a Door - 0
Buffy Breaks a Construction Site - 1
Buffy Breaks Giles's Glasses - 1
Buffy Breaks a Bell - 1
Evil Reveal - 0
Unevil Reveal - 0
Shenanigans Called - 2
Apocalypse Called - 0

Tuesday, August 11, 2015

M'Cookies

Episode 6.4: Flooded. Original Airdate 10.16.01   


"Buffy's life is further complicated by mounting financial problems, a flooded basement, and a warrior demon out for her blood."




Zelda's Thoughts:


  • Buffy tightens one pipe. Water bursts out of every available space, two founts pointing directly at Dawn on the stairs. That's not how this works. That's not how any of this works.
  • Ok so here we begin the inconsistent characterization of Buffy's depression. Here she's sending out a fair amount of dark humor, alternating with trancing out. I'm not saying that's not believable, but it gives the audience the impression that she's closer to recovery than she is.
  • I actually forgot we ever meet Tito. I thought he was just Xander's imaginary friend.
  • Hey so um. How come Tara and Willow aren't helping with finances? Or getting jobs? Or contributing in any way to household expenses. Asking for an extremely outraged ME.
  • "Plus, fire? Pretty."
  • "It's not like it's the end of the world. Which is too bad, you know, 'cause that, I'm really good at."
  • Bless you Anya. Bless you so much. You're actually trying to help with the finances with your mathy skills, and proposing solutions.
  • Dawn's wearing another number shirt. 2 this time. *shrugs, wanders away*
  • So they're all outraged at the thought of Buffy charging money for slaying vamps, saving lives, but ... it's obeekaybee for Angel to do it? Fuck all of this. Fuck the way Anya is laughed out of the house for her suggestion.
  • "Kind of a forever deal." // "Not if you never get started." FORESHADOWING
  • You go, Buffy! You snark and slay!
  • The demons are stealing the money. Don't tell Anya.
  • So um why is Buffy training in the dark? Asking for a me again.
  • MT is annoying me again. Send her away.
  • GILES IS BACK. GILES IS BACK.
  • "You're ..." // "A miracle." // "Yes. But then, I always thought so." I'M FINE, IT'S JUST RAINING ON MY FACE.
  • Hey so, remember how Buffy got Giles's salary reinstated? Howsabout the Council start paying her? I get that like it hasn't been an issue in the past because Slayers die young and also women aren't really people (right? that's how this works?), or Slaying is "women's work" and a sacred duty but not an actual vocation and therefore doesn't get paid, whereas Watching does ... SERIOUSLY WHY THE FUCK DOESN'T THE COUNCIL PAY BUFFY.
  • Siiiiiiiiigh. The Trio. Like I like the idea, and I like all three performers, but also they rather outstay their welcome.
  • Yeah notice how Warren is way more willing to kill Buffy? Can we just kill him now? Please? Before he kills Tara?
  • Oooh it's rank arrogant amateur time.
  • Wow, way to skate right past making Buffy claw her way out of her grave, Willow.
  • "Out of everyone here, you were the one I trusted most to respect the forces of nature."
  • "There are others in this world that can do what you did. You just don't want to meet them" // "No, probably not, but, well, they're the bad guys. I'm not a bad guy." God, this conversation sets up SO MUCH.
  • "I wasn't lucky, I was amazing." // "You are lucky to be alive, you rank, arrogant amateur." // "You're right. The magicks I used are very powerful. I'm very powerful. And maybe it's not such a good idea for you to piss me off." Shit you guys. And Willow again skates right past the moment when she THREATENS GILES like wtaf that is horrifying. The warning signs were all there that she was the new Big Bad, you guys.
  • Dawn's wearing 65. I feel like I should be tracking this but also I don't want to.
  • Buffy called the demon a mook. I love it. Can we bring back mook?
  • "No. More. Full. Copper. Repipe." This is my sister's favorite line in the ep.
  • Ugh. Casual rapey jokes about hypnotizing Buffy into being their sex slave. Die in a fire, Trio.
  • Man, why did Tony Head have to move back to England? What would this season have been if Giles hadn't left?
  • Oh right. Angel.
  • "Of course, you'll leave for LA tomorrow." // "Not LA. And not here. Somewhere in the middle. There's a place." A place ... neither UPN nor WB but some other channel where Buffy and Angel syndicate in complete freedom ... a place called ... FX (S6 was the year FX started airing two hours of Buffy every evening and I caught up with the whole series in time to watch the second half of the season live on TV)


Daniel's Thoughts:



  • Buffy basement.  Fighting Mr. Drippy.  She fixes one leak and the basement explodes with water.  I don’t think that’s how it works.
  • Why is Buffy just staring at the water?
  • They keep calling it IN-surance.
  • I like Anya’s enthusiasm for her idea of Buffy charging money for slaying vampires.
  • And I hate that everyone’s so dismissive of it. And Jesus, Xander – you can’t ever be on Anya’s side?  It’s really gross.  Willow’s face is the worst.  Shut up, Willow.
  • And hey, Angel does it.  He charged.  Sometimes. 
  • It’s nice when Xander spouts these platitudes about love.  He says it a lot, but he never backs it up.
  • Also, Willow and Tara, you live here.  Why aren’t you chipping in?  Get a job.
  • “When are you going to grow up Xander?”  Never, Anya, Never.
  • Neat jacket, demon fish guy.
  • Anya’s idea doesn’t seem so dumb, now, does it?
  • “Will.  What the hell are you doing?” “Pissing you off.” “Yes, true. Why?” 
  • I don’t get Dawn not being able to do research.  Buffy and co were about 15 when they started.  Besides, it’s just research.  She should be prepared.
  • Giles!
  • Again with the Anya hug.  Love it. Her hugs are so genuine; so amazing.
  • Ugh, the trio.  They’re really laughing about their friend’s potential death?  These guys…
  • See, Jonathan never read evil before. He made some mistakes, but he didn’t revel in other peoples’ misfortune.  When did Jonathan become such a creep?
  • Ugh, the way they talk:


  • I mean, it’s weird that Willow wouldn’t know how Giles would react.  But her reaction on top of that.  She’s changed, probably the most, out of all the Buffy characters.  She’s more than new confident Willow.  She’s, as Giles puts it, arrogant.  And she's been that way for a while.
  • I  love how Buffy’s trying to protect the house while fighting the demon.  That’s the cross -genre Buffy I love.
  • They’re just gross, the trio.
  • See, Anya’s so nice about it. She’s patiently explaining Buffy’s finances to her.  Does she ever get thanked? No.
  • And a phonecall from Angel…

 Crossfire:




Crossfire 2:

Anya: *makes valid suggestions and actually sits down with Buffy to try to help her with her finances*
Willow & Tara: *stares blankly at Buffy expecting her to do and come up with everything,* *Also criticizes Anya for her suggestions* *Lives in house rent free and does absolutely nothing to help out*
Dawn:  *Actually yells at Anya for helping.  Also, does nothing whatsoever to help.*
Zelda & Daniel:
Jon Stewart came back from retirement to call
SHENANIGANS!



Favorite Lines:
Zelda: "Having Buffy back in the world makes me feel ... indescribably wonderful, but I wouldn't congratulate you if you jumped off a cliff and happened to survive." - Giles
Daniel: "No, no. Captain Logic is not steering this tugboat. I smell Captain Fear at the wheel." - Anya

Arc/Continuity Stuff:

  • Recurring: Tara, Warren, Jonathan
  • First appearance: Tito (in the flesh!), Andrew
  • Anya and Xander's engagement is still a secret.
  • Shoutout to Tucker and his Prom night devil dogs, as well as to Jonathan's and Warren's past exploits.


Stats:
Anya's Hair - long blonde, chunky waves
Dead Humans - 0
Dead Undeads - 1
Dead Flashbacks - 0
Giles Unconscious - 1
Giles Cleans His Glasses - 1
Buffy Breaks a Door - 0
Evil Reveal - 0
Unevil Reveal - 0
Shenanigans Called - 1
Apocalypse Called - 0


Tuesday, August 4, 2015

Evil Things Have Plans



Episode 6.3: After Life. Original Airdate 10.9.01



"As Buffy and the Scoobies adjust to her resurrection, they find themselves dealing with a mysterious spirit-demon brought back with her."



Daniel's Thoughts:

  • Spooky Ghost Episode coming up. (I love these.)
  • I like that these three first episodes are continuous.
  • Why does Willow keep talking about Buffy being in a hell dimension.  I don’t really get why she assumes that.  IT’S NOT CANON, WILLOW.
  • Still guest starring Amber Benson.  I really think she should have been a perm character by now.
  • The washing Buffy with a towel scene is cute…but…if you were stuck in the ground for three months, wouldn’t you want to shower?
  • “Buffy? You wanna stop?”  I love the way Dawn says that.  She’s trying to balance her joy with her frustration.
  • Buffy’s sudden realization with modesty as she buttons her shirt reminds me of when she fixes Joyce’s skirt in the body.
  • 147-48 days gone. That’s a lot longer than I thought.
  • Protective little sister.  Love it.
  • “She doesn’t want Pizza.”  Geez, Willow, how do you know that?  Everyone wants pizza.  Maybe Sunnydale pizza sucks.  It is California.  They probably put pineapple on it, or something.  That train of thought went somewhere. [I like pineapple pizza! - Z, missing the point]
  • Wow.  It’s amazing how much I used to love Willow and how much I’ve grown to really dislike her.
  • “Oh yeah.  Six or seven days is all you really need to get over a hell experience.”
  • I actually feel for Spike here. “I worked with you all summer.”
  • But they have an honest conversation, my two least favorite boys.  And I can see both sides.
  • I would have liked to hear this phone conversation between Giles and Willow.  It’s a shame we didn’t get that scene.
  • And I can’t believe Willow expected a ‘thank you’ so quickly.  You brought Buffy back for selfish reasons, Will, don’t deny that.  We’re all glad, but don’t expect Buffy to be thankful right away.
  • Creepy ghost Buffy is creepy!
  • I’ve had nightmares like this.
  • "What if we dreamed it?"//" Yeah, yeah, no, different brains."//" Oh yeah."
  • Omg, Xander’s phone.  So 90s. 
  • Oh, this thing with Anya cutting up her face is so freaking creepy.

But her hair looks beautiful....so...

  • “Are you ok?” Buffy changes the subject.
  • Anya: “Maybe you were going crazy, from hell” Willow gives her a look. “No, you’re fine.”  Z and are rolling laughing.  Her delivery.  Amazing.
  • “I miss Giles.”  Aww.
  • Dawn breathing out fire is amazing
  • “Evil things have plans.  They have things to do.”
  • Random thought, but I really hate that Buffy hasn’t (and will never) ask what happened to Glory.  If I had died to save the world, I’d want to know what happened to the person (god) I died to finish off. [There's some cut dialogue in S7 where she and Giles discuss his murder of Ben ... but cut, so not canon - Z]
  • I disagree with Tara.  I prefer seeing sunrise from the wrong side; the night before.
  • Aww, crap.  Nice going Tara & Willow.  Just tell the demon how to exist.
  • Scary ghost demon.
  • “You’re like a snail.  A snail that drives very slowly.”
  • WHY IS WILLOW WEARING A BATH MAT!?


  • And Buffy is lying to make her friend feel better, “I was in hell.”
  • But she tells Spike the truth.  She was happy – wherever she was.
  • She describes it so beautifully, though she doesn’t mention her mom.
  • “I think I was in heaven.” SO GIVE ME SOMETHING TO SING ABOUT.


Zelda's Thoughts:

  • Aw this is the Spuffyfeels ep, if I recall correctly. I better find some gifs for this. Otherwise you're in for a lot of "Spike's face. Spike's face, you guys. His face when he sees her face."
  • Dawn is officially taller than Buffy now. Heh.
  • Good makeup job on Buffy's knuckles. They look swollen and infected.
  • "What else is different?" That quiet frustration, resignation. She doesn't really understand the changes, but just wants to stop being surprised.
  • Spike's face though when he realizes it's Buffy. The way his eyes are just trying to drink every nuance (I did warn you guys. James Marsters acts the hell out of this episode). "What did you do?"

  • The way he wants to touch her, to see she's real, but seeing how fragile she is, knowing not to break her.
  • "How long was I gone?" // ''..147 days yesterday. Uh ... 148 today. 'Cept today doesn't count, does it? How long was it for you, where you were? " // "Longer." So much in that exchange.

  • And then the Scoobies show up, noise and overwhelming energy, questions and crowding.
  • And Dawn makes them back off. You go, Dawn.
  • And Buffy has to check with Dawn, before it's another unpleasant surprise, "My room is still ...?"
  • "You didn't tell me. You brought her back and you didn't tell me." // "Well, now you know." // "I worked beside you all summer."
  • Spike sees, if Xander doesn't, the extent to which Willow will go. (that's why she shut me out)
  • Spike drives off on his brand new demon biker motorcycle.
  • "If things did go right, wouldn't you think she'd be happier?"
  • Scary Nightmare Buffy's delivery reminds me a little of her Sally Bowles performance in Willow's dream in Restless. Which, if we're dealing with this demon manifesting Willow's insecurities, totally works. 
  • God, watching Anya slicing at her face is just horrifying.
  • Oh look. Buffy has a backyard. Have we EVER seen the backyard before? I know we've done the back porch, but have we spent time in the actual yard before this season? [Wasn't dead zombie cat buried there?  Even that might have been the side yard - D]
  • Willow: "We're rolling in puppies." Me: "Pretty sure that's not a thing."
  • Last night Buffy was wearing a white long sleeve button down. This morning it's a black long sleeve button down.
  • Buffy misses Giles. Me too, Buffy. Me too.
  • The books are on fire! Did Xander speak Latin in front of them?
  • "Evil things have plans. They have things to do." *cut to Spike pacing angrily but aimlessly* I see you, show.
  • Time for some Spuffy feels! Buffy's still pretty vacant, so maybe it's just #JamesActingFeels. "But I want you to know, I did save you ... Every night I save you."
  • "We made a demon? Bad us."
  • "If you think you can give her back to me, and then take her away again? No. That's worse than if you never brought her back. You can't mess with people's lives this way!" Dawn's saying basically the same thing Spike did, but with less awareness of the wider implications of why Willow didn't tell them in the first place.
  • Poor SMG. Not only does she have to fight CGI, but she has to let it kick her butt.
  • "You okay?" // "I'm going to start charging money for every person that asks me that." This is the first time she sounds a bit like old Buffy, a bit of humor in her. But then Dawn tells her that all they want is to see her being happy, something she isn't, something she doesn't know how to be right now. So now she has her instructions: perform happiness for her friends, to make their lives easier. It's the Slayer's burden to carry more weight than those around her, because she's strong enough to carry it. Strong enough to carry the lie of it. Or thinks she is.
  • They're not malevolent. They really do want her to be happy. But they're a bit too myopic to see when she's not. They want to be reassured so that they can be happy with what they did.
  • Ah, the one time they acknowledge that sunlight could hurt Spike.[Still, that one classroom vamp? Was like on the total other side of the room from the sunlit windows and sprang into flames almost immediately. - D]
  • "It's okay. I can be alone with you here."
  • Spike, who's obsessed enough with her to be able to see that she's still in pain.
  • "I was happy. Wherever I was, I was happy. At peace." And that's why it hurts so much. They took it away from her. They took her away from happiness.
  • "I was warm, and I was loved, and I was finished. Complete." 
  • "Everything here is hard and bright and violent. Everything I feel, everything I touch, this is Hell." Heartbreaking callback to her question last episode.
  • So why is she able to tell Spike what she can't tell the others? She can't tell Dawn, Dawn needs her too much. She can't tell the Scoobies, they need to know that they did a good thing, that they saved her. Spike doesn't need those things from her, really. I think it marks a shift in his obsession/love with her. Her death took some of the neediness out of his love for her - she was no longer alive to ever be able to return the love, but the love remained, the devotion, and it translated into other things - helping the Scoobies, caring for Dawn. Now she's back, and he still loves her, but he's not asking her to love him back (well, not right now. I recognize toxic unhealthy Spuffy times are just around the corner, but give me this episode. This episode is golden to my shipping heart)

Favorite Lines:
Daniel: "You're like a snail. A snail that drives very slowly." - Anya
Zelda: "I do remember what I said. The promise. To protect her. If I had done that, even if I didn't make it, you wouldn't have had to jump. But I want you to know I did save you. Not when it counted, of course, but after that. Every night after that. I'd see it all again ... do something different. Faster or more clever, you know? Dozens of times, lots of different ways ... every night I save you." - Spike

Arc/Continuity Stuff:

  • Recurring: Tara
  • Buffy died 147 days ago. Willow brought her back. Turns out she was in Heaven. #Awkward.

Stats:

Anya's Hair - long, blonde, loose
Dead Humans - 0
Dead Undeads - 1
Dead Flashbacks - 0
Giles Unconscious - Idk, did he take an ambien on the flight?
Giles Cleans His Glasses - 1 (if Willow is to be trusted)
Buffy Breaks a Door - 0
Evil Reveal - 0
Unevil Reveal - 0
Shenanigans Called - 0
Apocalypse Called - 0

Thursday, July 30, 2015

She Alive, Damnit! (It's a Miracle!)

Episode 6.1: Bargaining: Part 2. Original Airdate 10.2.01 


"As a gang of demon bikers attack, the Scooby Gang is chased away from Buffy's grave thinking that the resurrection was a failure. They do not realize that the Slayer is alive ... right where they left her. Buffy is awake but disoriented and afraid as she must claw her way out of her own grave. Buffy may be alive again, but the trauma she suffers is far from over."

Zelda's Thoughts:



  • God, poor Buffy. She looks so terrified.
  • "We got trouble, right here in Hellmouth City." I love a good Music Man reference in the morning.
  • I mean, Willow's acting it well, but it's hard to buy into the despair when we know the spell worked.
  • But it is interesting to see - maybe this is the first time since Buffy died that Willow's accepted her death. "She's gone, Buffy's really gone." I mean that's what the title means. The bargaining stage of grief. Willow's finally moved to acceptance. (bad timing, Willow)
  • Yay fresh oxygen for Buffy!
  • God, and the first thing she sees is her own tombstone. And when she walks the Only Street in Sunnydale, it's all fire and destruction. No wonder she asks if this is hell. She wakes up inside a horror show. Not what Willow planned. Willow thought hugs and gratitude and safety. Simple and clean.
  • Anya is amazing in this whole scene but "I hate the woods. All those woodsy trees." The lines themselves are great, but she finds such interesting and surprising ways to say them. Emma Caulfield is a national treasure.
  • That's a good sitter, Spike. Make sure Dawn has a helmet.
  • Daniel and I just got excited to see a female in with the Demon Biker Gang. Equality is nice.
  • I love the bot's face when she realizes she's looking at Buffy. Sudden hope. And then she's quartered, medieval style.
  • Once again, the Scoobies can't tell Buffy apart from a robot. Before it was because they didn't know there was a bot. This time, they didn't know there was a Buffy.
  • It's interesting that Xander figures it out. Willow couldn't, she was so focused on the spell, she missed the trees.
  • Buffy looks so small, so lost, so young.
  • "Pull a rabbit out of a hat?" // "Don't do that, why would she do that?" Again, Emma's delivery is utter perfection. In less skilled hands, Anya just wouldn't work as a character. (notice how rarely Tara is funny. just saying)
  • Buffy may not be processing everything, but the fighting is in her body, in her blood. She won't let herself be beaten up by some measly demon biker.
  • Iconic shot on the motorcycle! Love it. 



  • "It's just a machine, Dawn." // "I know." But this is still the second time she's seen her sister lifeless on the ground.
  • "Where did I go? I was here ... here. But then I ran away. No, not me ... the other Buffy."
  • And just like the April bot, the bot runs out of juice mid-sentence, mid-smile, mid-thought.
  • Hah, Dawn rounds the corner and sees a demon impaled on a pipe. Buffy's been here! Expert Tracker, Dawn Summers.
  • God, that Buffy gravitates to the tower as the last familiar place, the last place she knew was solid and clear, when she knew what she had to do.
  • And when she says, along with her memory, "Dawnie, I have to." And the music is back from The Gift, and I'M HAVING A LOT OF FEELINGS.
  • "Is this hell?" Her voice is so small. She's sad, but she just wants to know. If that is what this is, and what she has to deal with now.
  • This whole speech at the end of Dawn's, it's another bargaining. "I promise I'll do better, I will ... I need you to live."
  • Buffy doesn't want to stay. Buffy doesn't know how to stay. But she can't let Dawn be hurt. That was the whole point, after all, when everything was clear and she knew what to do. Protect Dawn. Save Dawn.
  • And it keeps coming. The tower keeps trying to kill her, over and over. Until it collapses.
  • Dawn cries and hugs Buffy and says "You're home." And Buffy is alive, but her eyes are dead.
  • They may end up being all over the place with Buffy's arc this season (and by "may" I mean "will"), but they freaking nailed the two-part opener.


Daniel's Thoughts:

  • “Less talk, more running away”
  • Split up?  Xander, you live in a horror movie world.  You know that’s not a good idea.
  • There’s that giant tombstone that….any vampire could have seen.
  • Fuckkk….Poor Buffy.  Being in that coffin…I can’t even imagine.
  • I mean they didn’t even bring shovels.  What was their plan if it worked?
  • I love Anya/Tara scenes and there should be a lot more of them.
  • Dawn, get away from the freaking window.
  • SMG’s stunt double comes out of the grave, cut to SMG with absolutely no dirt on her head.
  • I love that they show Buffy’s point of view, all unfocused.
  • “I hate the woods…”
  • I mean.  Where are they going, Dawn and Spike.  What makes them think they’d be safer in the streets?
  • They…could go see if Faith’s more sane…you know, if they need a slayer so badly.
  • Buffy walks up to the demon gang.  Brave or just a cloud of confusion?
  • Aww, the pulling a part of Buffybot.  So sad.  Especially that Buffy can see this…and again, sadness or utter confusion or both?
  • I think Anya has so many good points.  All of Xander’s excuses for not telling the gang about their engagement are such bullshit.
  • Yeah, Xander.  You have this one right.  You were all a bunch of idiots for not digging her up.
  • You’d have at least thought Anya would have thought of it.  She’s the logical one.
  • “You’re gonna what, pull a rabbit out of your hat?” “Don’t do that, why would you do that?”
  • Buffy just got pulled out of Heaven, (spoiler!), you don’t want to mess with her.
  • The Buffybot without her arms and legs – it’s so well done.


  • Dawn’s face when she realizes.
  • SMG is so good this episode; her reactions and facial expressions.
  • I love that they brought the tower back.  It’s such a neat full circle.
  • Oh the music.  The Buffy jumping to her death music.  I can’t hear this on my iphone without tearing up a bit.
  • “The tower was built by crazy people and I don’t think it’s holding up well.” Truth.
  • “Is this hell?”  Aww, Buffy. Yes, it is.
  • Dawn’s in trouble.  That’s what snaps Buffy out of it.
  • And there goes the horrible tower that really the city of Sunnydale should have taken down.  Who is the new mayor? Is he evil?  Probably.


Favorite Lines:

Zelda:
~Buffy

Daniel: 
“Willow and I always know how to find each other.” “With Yoga?”  -Tara/Anya

Arc/Continuity Stuff:

  • First mention of Tito
  • Recurring: Tara, Xander's desire for male friends, Anya's fear of rabbits
  • Tara's tinkerbell guiding light that she sends to Willow is something we first saw Willow attempt in Fear, Itself

Stats:
Anya's Hair - long, blonde, loose
Dead Humans - 0
Dead Undeads - 7 (RIP Buffybot)
Dead Flashbacks - 0
Giles Unconscious - WHO KNOWS
Giles Cleans His Glasses - WHO CARES
Buffy Breaks a Door - 0
Buffy Breaks a Coffin - 1
Evil Reveal - 0
Unevil Reveal - 0
Shenanigans Called - 0
Apocalypse Called - 0