PLEASE NOTE: THIS IS A SPOILER-RICH ZONE

PLEASE NOTE: THIS IS A SPOILER-RICH ZONE. If your diet requires you to dine on Buffy Spoiler-free ... good luck with that.

Tuesday, February 2, 2016

My Hat Has a Cow


Episode 6.15: As You Were. Original Airdate 2.26.02



"Buffy's ex-boyfriend, Riley Finn, returns to Sunnydale with his new wife Sam to track down a nest of demons which threaten the future of the town."



Daniel's Thoughts:

  • Other fast food chains in the Buffyverse: Burger World & Happy Bun
  • Aww, Buffy smells like fast food
  • And she calls out the vamp on being dead and smelling like being dead. Does Spike smell like he's dead? You know, when they're porking? Does he? Huh?
  • Special Guest Star Marc Blucas! He was in an ep of Limitless the other week, fyi. He was kinda playing the same role-ish. [That makes sense. - Z]
  • Ugh. You know what that Ugh means.
  • Xander and Anya are still doing the seating chart.
  • Buffy missed the garbage guys but like, why didn't she use her slayer speed?
  • Aww, Buffy's application was rejected. EVERYTHING SUCKS is basically what this episode is saying.
  • RILEY FINN. And he's got a super sexy scar on his face.
Super Sexy Scar

  • The DMP uniforms are actually really well made.
  • Riley: We got a wild bear. Hehe. Everyone will believe that!
  • Wow, I kinda forgot how tall Riley is, too.
  • "Did you die?" "No." "I'm gonna win."
  • Riley complimented Buffy on her hair. Because that's the type of guy he is.
  • Aww, Buffy's being all flirty. It's like that thing when you see an ex for the first time in ages and you feel that passionate chemistry again and you think it's mutual and then whoops, they're married. That's never happened to me. Nope, not once. Nope. God Damn it.
  • Oh hey, Sam, wife of Riley.
  • She's so perfect for Riley.
  • I love the continuity of all the episodes this season. They keep referring to past eps.
  • Aww, Willow's a good friend.
  • Hey, maybe the nest is somewhere where the nest of the praying mantis woman is.
  • Oh Buffy. Stop. Please, stop with the Spike.
  • They could have given him a better code name than "Doctor". Who wrote this ep, Moffat?
  • But hey, Spike is evil? What? WHAT? That was all sarcastic, btdubs.
  • Also, put a shirt on, Spike.
  • I hate Anya & Xander talking about their wedding and marraige when we all know how it's going to end.
  • Such a sweet reconciliation between Buffy & Riley. I'm so thankful for this episode. I like that at least one thing in Buffy's life could be resolved; that she can have closure on one thing. I'm glad things finally ended nicely between the two of them and that Riley's last appearance shows that he's happy as well. It's so rare in the Buffyverse.
  • And all this has made Buffy finally make sense of the LACK of sense Spuffy makes. And she makes a good decision here. And it at least looks as though it's going to stick.


Zelda's Thoughts:

  • Wow I have been completely neglecting to write anything for like 15 minutes. I'm sorry, guys.
  • Aw Buffy got rejected from Sunnydale U.
  • In this week's Inconsistent Characterization of Dawn, Dawn - who was throwing passive aggressive fits like they were spitballs last week - is now totally cool and gentle about Buffy's absentness. One can argue that's she's grown but HAHAHAHA DAWN AND GROWTH THIS SEASON.
  • Oh. It's Riley. "Were you always this tall?" Fair question.
  • Yes, Riley, that's a wild bear all right.
Someone's been watching Men In Black too much.

  • "Did you die?" // "No." // "I'm gonna win."
  • Anya just said "the gnarls are teleporting in in " WAIT WHAT ANYA KNOWS THE GNARLS WTF A GNARL ALMOST ATE WILLOW .. in the future [Edit: my mistake. Gnarols, per the shooting script. Stand down, everyone, stand down.]
  • Sunnydale has a reservoir, you guys. SURE, WHY NOT.
  • Wow, Riley. You do a special ducking maneuver to make sure the giant pipe can't see you, and then you turn your back on a completely open doorway and leave yourself open to attack? That's some bad soldiering.
  • GASP RILEY IS MARRIED.
  • Ugh. I hate Sam. As my friend Malcolm said once, "has there been a more non-character character?"
  • Seriously, Riley, shouldn't that have been step fucking one, though, telling Buffy this was a capture and not a kill? It's not like you don't know Buffy's general practice. Riley is a bad bad soldier.
  • "Just so you know, I'm prepared to hate this woman." Yay Willow being a supportive friend.
  • I am loving the shade Dawn is throwing at Riley. At least he deserves it.
  • "there's a dealer in town, calls himself the Doctor." whaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

  • "You're like Santa Claus or Buddha." // "Fat and jolly." I LOVE SNARKY BUFFY
  • Ugh, she's so baaaaaaaaaaaad. This actress is okay in small comic roles I've seen her in, but she's so baaaaaaaaaaaaad as Sam.
  • Yeah, this is just beyond dumb, though. It's so ridiculously out of character for Spike to be "the Doctor" and to have this stupid plan. Not to have a stupid plan, we all know Spike isn't good at long term plans or sticking to said, but this kind of random-ass scheme? I just don't buy it. I never did, and it makes the whole thing just ring false and forced and stupid and it takes me out of things. It's always disappointing when the writers sacrifice character consistency for plot points. (it's even worse when they do it for the sake of a joke, I guess, like in The Zeppo or even Once More With Feeling, but I still hate it. it weakens the show and it weakens the characters)
  • This is the second time Anya's hidden out in a bathroom from a fight.
  • GOODBYE RILEY AND SAM. DON'T LET THE HELICOPTER CHOP YOU IN TWO ON THE WAY OUT.
  • "What a bitch." Good friend, Willow.


Crossfire!

(before episode starts)
Z: Goddammit!
D: What?
Z: I hate Sam.
D: Sam? Who's Sam?
Z: Boring Riley's Boring Wife.
D: I like Sam! And I like Riley and Sam. And I'm glad they have a happy ending.
Z: They're both boring and they're both mediocre actors.
D: Yes, but they're boring and mediocre together.

Buffy: You won't look?
Riley: I'm a gentleman.
D: He is.
Z: This would be the time to say "I'm a married man."

Favorite Lines:

Daniel: "I think we died in this car on the way to the airport, and now we're stuck in hell." // "The radio said no traffic." // "It's a hell radio, of course it said that." - Anya/Xander
Zelda: "Did you die?" // "No." // "I'm gonna win." - Buffy and Riley


Arc/Continuity Stuff:

  • Recurring: Riley
  • Riley and Sam have been married four months. According to Sam, it took Riley a year to get over Buffy. Riley left town approximately fourteen months agoSo. That's a timeline. They got married and then two months later he got over Buffy.
  • shoutout to Older and Far Away and Halfrek's curse
  • "These things? Never useful." Buffy's go-to reaction to guns. (callback to Flooded)

Stats:

Anya's Hair - blonde, straight, tied back
Dead Humans - 0
Dead Undeads - 12 (this counts the 10 eggs)
Dead Flashbacks - 0
Buffy Breaks a Door - 0
Evil Reveal - 0
Unevil Reveal - 0
Shenanigans Called - 0
Apocalypse Called - 0

Wednesday, January 27, 2016

A Muscle Cramp...In Your Pants?

Episode 6.14: Older and Far Away.Original Airdate 2.12.02 


"After Dawn talks to a guidance counselor about her feeling lonely, she accidentally puts a spell on Buffy and her friends, trapping them inside the Summer's house with a sword-wielding demon."






Zelda's Thoughts:


  • It's happy birthday Buffy!
  • Why does Dawn have an anteroom to her bedroom? Like, seriously, WHY.
And why is there a table there?
  • Oh Dawn. Why are you stealing all the things.
  • TAWIST. Halfrek's pretending to be a guidance counselor.
  • It's actually pretty clever - since we saw her only in veiny demon form in her first episode, she might not be immediately recognized by everyone.
  • So, I remember when this episode aired, everyone on the message boards got all excited about Buffy's new friend Sophie. And then she never showed up again. But that didn't stop fans from shipping her with Clem. And possibly writing fic about it. I can kind of see it? They're both very sweet.
  • Aw I bet Sarah missed these opportunities to be funny. (Willow appears, making Tara feel awkward. Buffy: "I have to, wit the thing that I, uh ... Coming!")
  • Clem is back! And he's been sufficiently rewritten to be sweet and adorable and one of my favorite recurrings. 
  • So ... how'd Dawn get the jacket out of the store with the security tag still on it? [There are ways.  -Not D]
  • Dude the weapons chest Xander made is gorgeous. I want one!
  • gasp Halfrek's a demon gasp
  • SEE SOPHIE IS DANCING WITH CLEM THEY ARE A TOTAL COUPLE TRUE LOVE FOREVER YOU GUYS
  • Gotta feel bad for Richard. Got invited to a stranger's birthday party as an obvious fix up.
  • Tara shutting Spike down is the best though.
  • "We do not joke about eating people in this house!"
  • Dawn, darling, please stop taking people's desire to not be stuck in a house for the rest of their lives personally. This stuff is why Dawn gets a bad rap.
  • Oh, look, it's another GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT. This is also why Dawn gets a bad rap.
  • Richard's kinda dumb. And judgmental. "I don't think that's a skin condition."
  • How stupid are they to carry him upstairs when he has a cut like that? Put him on the couch maybe, but why risk exacerbating the injury with stairs?
  • So like ... why don't they just call some EMT guys and have them get stuck in the house too? We know (from the future) that the Summers house can hold a lot of people. Just ... they should get actual medical help for poor boring stupid cute Richard.
  • I really don't like how Anya goes after Willow. Emma's really great at it, but I don't like how she's treating her, out of fear.
  • But then Tara is lovely. "Hey, you're gonna back off. She said no."
  • I'd say Anya's being out of character, but we see this again, this cruel striking out when she feels cornered and terrified, when she accuses Buffy of being "lucky" in S7 and we all want to punch her.
  • Emma Caulfield is amazing in this ep though, I gotta say.
  • I find it kind of weird that they keep doing the fake out with not really killing vengeance demons - this comes back again next season - for anyone paying attention, we're not tricked for a minute.
  • I've read some fanfic that tracks how Cecily became a vengeance demon. There's some cleverness tying her rejection of William to a controlling father, which is why she's the patron demon of unhappy children. Also Paul (one of our commentors) tell us that the non-canon comics also follow this narrative.
  • And now they're walking Richard down the stairs upright. WHY ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL YOUR BORING FRIEND.
  • AW CLEM IS THE BEST.





Daniel's Thoughts:


  • Buffy’s getting ready for that wintry night in southern California.  You let it go.
  • And what’s with this hat she borrowed from Willow’s collection.  Or Blossom’s? 

And in my opinionation, the sun is gonna surely shine!


  • It’s nice that Buffy’s close enough with Tara that she wants her at her party.
  • Dawn said ‘hey’ that reminded me of Buffy.  Weird thing.  But I wasn’t looking at the screen and thought it was Buffy.  
  • Why doesn’t Dawn have friends? Where’s Janice?  It’s weird that she’s always relying on her sister’s friends.
  • I’m not sure if we’re supposed to know that’s Hallie yet.  BUT I KNOW.
  • Sophie!
  • Anya: “We invited someone for you.  *whispers* A guy…”  Hehehe.
  • Willow’s all worried about what she looks like. And Z and I agree that she should change that dumb shirt.
  • Oh, the awkwardness.  I love it. They’re actually really good at it.
  • CLEM!
  • Also, Richard.  Such a 90s style soap dreamboat.
  • Man, Anya.  With the treating Dawn like she’s 10.
  • All the fun awkwardness in this episode is really well written and acted.
  • “I offered helpful suggestions from a safe distance.”
  • Hey Sophie!
  • It’s alarming that Tara’s not more disturbed.  She seems downright delighted at the Spike/Buffy thing.  Especially when way back when they saw Buffybot boinking Spike, She called her insane or something.
  • Tara’s playing poker!
  • Hey.  Hey, look at all that natural light hitting Spike.  And hey.  Hey, look at him not exploding. You let it go.
  • OMWF reference.
  • Tara’s the only one who seems to get what it’s like to be a teenager.
  • Why is Spike by the door? He. Will. Burn. Up. If the spell works.
  • The visual effects with the demon falling through the door are kinda cool.
  • Richard!
  • Has anyone tried calling someone?
  • Wow. Anya has some major claustrophobia issues.
  • Aww, Spike’s trying to save Xander.
  • Buffy: “Are you ok?” Dawn, “Do you care?” Me: *eyeroll*
  • Eh, while I like Tara’s sudden valiance, it’s a little bit contrived. [I dunno, she's grown a lot this season. I think leaving Willow has been great for her gumption. - Z]
  • Lots of Anya this episode and a lot of the problems she has with people are coming out.  Too bad it never gets resolved.
  • Oops, Halfrek.  But Anya should know a sword can't kill a vengeance demon.  Nice seeing her kick some ass anyway.
  • And Hallie calls her on it, which is nice.
  • Love this moment where Spike/Hallie seem to know each other. BUT ARE CECILY AND HALLIE THE SAME PERSON?  ...this was discussed in the comments section of our last blog post.
  • Sort of a Deus Ex Machina ending….but pretty clever as well. 



Favorite Lines:

Zelda: "I don't know. He seemed ... cute. Was he cute? I mean, I'm not a very good judge, but I think he seemed cute." // "I think he seemed cute, yeah." - Tara and Clem, ruining Spike's evening
Daniel: “We invited someone for you.  *whispers* A guy…”   ~Anya

Arc/Continuity Stuff:

  • Recurring: slug candles, Dawn's kleptomania, Tara, Clem, Halfrek
  • Shoutout to that time Xander summoned Sweet to Sunnydale
  • Gentle reminder that impaling a vengeance demon with a sword will not kill the vengeance demon. Remember this next season.
  • Nod at the double casting of Kali Rocha with Halfrek and Spike recognizing each other.
Stats:
Anya's Hair - blonde, straight, twist clipped
Dead Humans - 0
Dead Undeads - 1
Dead Flashbacks - 0
Buffy Breaks a Door - 0
Evil Reveal - 0
Unevil Reveal - 0
Shenanigans Called - 0
Apocalypse Called - 0

Wednesday, January 20, 2016

Deep Tropical Cellular Tan


Episode 6.13: Dead Things. Original Airdate 2.05.02

"After Jonathan, Andrew, and Warren accidentally kill Warren's ex-girlfriend Katrina, they set up Buffy to make her believe it was she who killed the girl."




Daniel's Thoughts:

  • Ew. You know it's going to be a bad episode when it starts with Spuffy Sex.
  • And why are they covered in rugs? How did that work? Is the crypt more comfortable than the rugs? Also, why does Spike have so many rugs?
  • Seriously? Spike's really asking the "where is this going?" question?
  • Ugh, the trio. I'm saying 'ugh' a lot this season.
  • "We can make any woman our willing sex slave," aka, "we can rape any woman we want." Great guys. And you wonder why you're loathed.
  • Tara!
  • But also, why doesn't Tara have a job? It's not like her family supports her.
  • Aww, she's worried about Willow so much.
  • Jonathan: "Red head's too tall." Heh.
  • Stop saying bazoombas.
  • *SHENANIGANS* It's nice that Warren put on the sunglasses so the extreme hypnotizing light didn't work on him. But what about the 100 other patrons at that bar? Why didn't it affect them?
  • This is so gross and sick what they're doing.
  • "Is there singing?" "Visible and everything." - throwbacks to two eps in one scene!
  • So the other two don't know about Katrina.
  • I really hate Andrew, but Tom Lenk is pretty hilarious.
  • Amelinda Embry (Katrina) is playing this really well.
  • Jesus. When Katrina finally says the R word, their reactions. Jonathan and Andrew. Because they're stupid little boys who were never taught to respect women. They really thought what they were doing wasn't wrong.
  • And this is the episode where they become true villains.
  • I like Anya & Xander's outfits; it matches their dancing.
  • Ugh. There I go again. Ugh. Can we fast-forward this part? Seriously? No-one sees this happening on the balcony?
  • Aww Tara and Willow awkwardness.
  • Put a shirt on, Spike.
  • I guess the trio is doing their weird physics time thing again.
  • This episode makes me want to watch DoubleMeat Palace again.
  • Weird sex/murder dreams!
  • I think the first time I saw this, I was on Buffy's side. She was doing the right thing. But I think I understand Dawn's side more now. While I think Dawn is a little over the top about it, she's right about Buffy wanting to escape. There were other solutions Buffy could have thought of. She knows something was off with the time/physics stuff.
  • "No one will ever find her." Cop: "Where'd they find her?" 2nd Cop: "The River." Spike: "Oh Balls."
  • See how helpful Anya is? They so don't appreciate her.
  • The reactions to getting away with murder are at least consistent of what I think of the three. Jonathan is the only one who is a bit wary. Which is why a lot of his choices confuse me.
  • This scene with Tara kills me. SMG is so good. She's so sure that something's wrong with her. It's this deep depression Buffy has that ... I think I'm seeing more clearly than I ever have. It's way more well done than I ever remembered. It's akin to Gretchen's current story on You're the Worst. [No spoilers! - Z]
  • So heartbreaking.


Zelda's Thoughts:

  • All right, this is the episode where the nerds are actually called out to their faces for their misogyny and treatment of women as objects, and yet behold how the idiots still follow Warren, the worst of them around (even if Jonathan is showing more resistance).
  • But first! Spike and Buffy having sex under a rug.
  • "Are we having a conversation?" // "What? No. No. Maybe." Is this the first time they approach functionality as a couple? Too bad it won't last. 
  • "Do you even like me?" // "Sometimes."
  • Cerebral Dampener. To make pretty women extra brainless and compliant. Warren, you are the fucking worst. And you want to use it on your ex who dumped you when she found out you made and abandoned a robot girlfriend who then tried to murder her. WHY HAVEN'T WE KILLED WARREN YET, YOU GUYS.
  • Wow, tumblr has changed me. Even though I still think Amber is mediocre, Tara showed up at the Doublemeat Palace to visit Buffy and I said "AWWWWWWW" because Tara is a good friend, y'all.
  • I have the strange urge to watch Shelby Woo to cleanse my Adam Busch palate. Do you guys remember Shelby Woo?
  • Dawn, stop giving Buffy passive aggressive attitude because she's trying to keep you from becoming homeless by working a menial job. This shit right here is why I couldn't stand Dawn on first watch.
  • ugh this plot is so gross. I mean, it's supposed to be, but just ugh.
  • Why didn't Warren just make a Katrinabot, since he's basically turned Katrina into a bot. Because he wanted to dominate the real Katrina. He wanted to punish her. To trick himself into thinking the real Katrina was his object.
  • "This is not some fantasy ... it's rape!" The tiny bit of credit I can give Jonathan and Andrew is their shock when she calls it rape - which it fucking is - but then they do try to stop her from leaving anyway.
  • So much for being villains. They didn't want real consequences. Boys playing with toys where everything's pretend. But Katrina's dead now.
  • Warren's not freaked out the way they are. He's just trying to get out of it, get around it, deflect the consequence and the responsibility of his action.
  • 'WE'RE ON UPN NOW" say the writers as Buffy and Spike have anal sex on the balcony.
  • It's a pretty cool slash scary sequence, the time-jumping deception the Trio use to trick Buffy into thinking she accidentally killed Katrina.
  • The horror Buffy's feeling, thinking she's killed Katrina? THAT'S WHAT YOU SHOULD HAVE FELT, WARREN, YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE.
  • "Dawnie, I have to." These writers are mean, invoking the line Buffy spoke before she jumped off the tower. It's the line Buffy uses when she's leaving Dawn behind - in life, or in freedom - since here, it's when she's about to turn herself in to the police.
  • Oh, apparently Sunnydale has a river. Okay, sure, why not.
  • The argument between Spike and Buffy here is mirroring so much the same argument Buffy had with Faith when Faith accidentally killed Finch. 
  • And then with the "you're dead inside. you can't feel anything real," we've got the parallel with Faith-in-Buffy beating up Buffy-in-Faith in Who Are You.
  • There's some really good work happening in this episode. It's hard to watch, but it's well done.
  • Ugh. "We really got away with murder. That's ,,, kind of cool." Stupid stupid Andrew.
  • Oh no, Buffy's gonna cry, you guys. 
  • "I didn't come back wrong?" She needs for there to be something wrong with her. Because that makes it not her, it makes it an exterior problem. But if there's nothing wrong with her, then everything is wrong with her.
  • "Do you love him? It's okay if you ...and Buffy, it's okay if you don't."
  • "Please don't forgive me, please."
  • You guys, this season is so upsetting.

Here, if you guys are feeling sad, just look at SMG laughing in the dailies!


Favorite Lines:
Daniel: "Come share in the joy of our groove thang." - Anya
Zelda:  "Do you love him? It's okay if you do. He's done a lot of good, and he does love you. And Buffy, it's okay if you don't." - Tara

Arc/Continuity Stuff:

  • Recurring: the Trio, Jonathan's Magic Bone, Tara, Katrina, Gina (old lady cashier at Doublemeat)
  • Dawn's friend Janice still exists. Off-screen.
  • Shoutouts to Once More With Feeling and Gone.
  • Jonathan masquerading as Katrina a callback to his impersonation of a demon in Life Serial.

Stats:

Anya's Hair - blonde, soft waves, and then some weird messy pull-back.
Dead Humans - 1
Dead Undeads - 3
Dead Flashbacks - 0
Buffy Breaks a Door - 0
Evil Reveal - 0
Unevil Reveal - 0
Shenanigans Called - 1
Apocalypse Called - 0

Tuesday, January 12, 2016

Theory #5: Cat Burgers


Episode 6.12: Doublemeat Palace. Original airdate: 1.29.02 




"When Buffy gets a job at the Doublemeat Palace, a local fast-food restaurant, she begins to believe that disappearing co-workers and the secret ingredient to the restaurant's hamburger may be connected."






Zelda's Thoughts:


  • omg you guys we're back! I can't believe it's been over two months.
  • Ugh. Daniel, why do you like this episode? It's weird and dumb.
  • Bless Anya, once again celebrating compensation for the work you do. Even if it's demoning or working in food service.
  • And then Xander and Willow are just awful to her. Again. I'm solidly jumping with Daniel onto Team Anya in this scene.
  • Aw poor Buffy. Orange stripes is not her color. Though her haircut still looks cute.


  • Time to renew my anger that the Council doesn't pay Buffy some kind of stipend.
  • Also time to renew my anger that Willow continues to not contribute to the expenses of the Summers household. To say nothing of dirtbag Hank Summers.
  • "I'm Manny the Manager. It's not a joke. It's just my name."
  • I mean the episode works in terms of metaphorizing a life experience, so in that respect I guess it's old school BTVS. But I still hate it.
  • Pretty sure Manny the Manager's glasses are non-prescription. Does that make him the original hipster?
  • Good casting with Manny the Manager, I must say. He's sufficiently creepy and blah.
  • EVIL OLD LADY ALERT. EVIL OLD LADY ALERT.
  • Music is good, for giving this sense of Buffy being hypnotized into fast food peon stupor.
  • Man. Y'all know I love Spike, but he's pretty obnoxious this episode. "Service me." *slaps Spike* You can be better.
  • Are timecards still a thing?
  • "But I don't know how to grill." // "Just think - this is the last day you'll ever be able to say that." Manny the Manager is now reminding me of an old boss. Every time they gave me a new task or responsibility (while not giving me anything resembling a raise), he'd say how good this was for my resume and blah blah blah and like dude this is my day job. I'm not looking for a career.
  • Wait is this Hallie's first appearance? Why did I feel like we'd seen her before (no no no I'm not nodding at the fact that Kali Rocha also played William's love Cecily)
  • Ugh Amy, go away.
  • Aw, black-eyed Willow. Stupid Amy.
  • Too bad this continues the complete rewrite of how magic used to function on this show before they turned it into a metaphor for drug addiction.
  • Aw Buff's meltdown is adorable. "It's people!"
  • Aw Manny the Manager is dead.
  • The only reason I'm glad we're at this episode is I get to reuse this gag:
Did someone say Dick Demon?

  • Ugh this dick demon is particularly gross.
  • Yay Willow cut Amy out of her life good plan.
  • It's such a weird random twist, that Doublemeat is closeted vegetarian. Well, sort of, it's vegetables rendered in beef fat.
  • It's still pretty dumb.
  • This episode is dumb.

Daniel's Thoughts:


  • Also, I kinda like this episode. It's fun. That's all.
  • Xander pretty much says what I’m thinking about Jonathan.  Didn’t he learn his lesson?  It doesn’t make sense.
  • “Please continue the story of failure.”
  • Hey, Anya got paid for her work. Why can't Buffy?  Ah right, because demons are better than people. Ahem, Watcher's Council.
  • Here's a theory: I think if Xander hadn’t befriended Buffy early on, he would have been one of the  nerd trio.
  • Buffy looks so cute in her DoubleMeat Palace uniform!
  • Whomever made the DMP introductory video must have had a great time.
  • Everything everyone is saying is creepy and could be considered supernatural…or be considered just part of working at a fast food restaurant.
  • I’m so glad I never worked for a fast food restaurant but I’ve had similar soul-crushing jobs.
  • Don’t eat the burger, Buffy!
  • I like that she mentions the diner in Anne.  But also, it might have been a better option for her.  Probably better pay/tips, too.
  • Aww, Anya talking about her wedding plans.  It’s all so sad, but she doesn’t know what will happen.
  • She seems to be working long hours.
  • Ugh, Spike. Ugh.
  • Just ugh.
  • Technically, Buffy probably should have joined the police force….but that would have made for a boring police procedural…which the world didn’t need.
  • Poor Gary :(
  • “I don’t know how to grill.” “Just think, this is the last day you’ll  ever be able to say that.”  Omg, so creepy.
  • Another double-shift. Is she surprised? There was already a double-shift. Because of the morning. And then the night.
  • Halfrek!  She and Anya are so cute together.
  • Hallie: “You know how it is. Half the time, I never know if I’m maiming the right guy.”
  • Poor depressed Buffy; meaningless sex with ugh, Spike.  That’s his name now: Ugh, Spike.
  • Don’t let Amy in!  Oh no, Amy.  
  • I can’t tell if Amy actually thinks she’s doing a good thing or not.
  • Oh man, the shots of churning meat.
  • IT’S PEOPLE! (probably not the chicken-y part)
  • OMG, Hallie is so awfully wonderful.  She can do so much with the the non-word, "Hmm."
  • “It’s incorrect for you to appreciate money so much.”
  • Omg, but HALLIE IS SO RIGHT.  Xander doesn’t treat Anya right.  At all.  He’s condescending and awful.
  • I like the shape of Dawn’s shirt.  Very skater-girl.
  • I like Buffy’s shirt too.  Cute sisters! 
  • Of course, as soon as Xander eats a burger he thinks might be people, Z and my lunch arrives.  I’m glad I opted for the Chicken wrap and not the burger.  Oy.
  • “It’s not magic; it’s chemistry.  You can tell by how damn slow it is.”
  • And Buffy is just carrying Manny’s foot around…
  • And another penis monster.
  • Very weird make-up on this old-lady. It looks like she’s blind.  The poor actress looks like she can’t see. 

"Am I facing the Camera?"


Favorite Lines:
Zelda: "See, this is why demons are better than people ... When I was a vengeance demon, I caused pain and mayhem, certainly. But I put in a full day's work doing it, and I got compensated appropriately ... But supervillains want reward without labor, to make things come easy. It's wrong. Without labor there can be no payment, and vice versa. The country cannot progress." - Anya
Daniel: 


Arc/Continuity Stuff:

  • First appearance: Halfrek
  • Recurring: Amy
  • Shoutout to when Buffy was Anne the Waitress
  • Also shoutout to Xander's vast experience in food service jobs
  • Shoutout to the fact that Dawn has a friend named Janice
Stats:
Anya's Hair - blonde & straight
Dead Humans - 2
Dead Undeads - 1
Dead Cows and Chickens - NONE
Dead Flashbacks - 0
Buffy Breaks a Door - 0
Evil Reveal - Wig Lady
Unevil Reveal - 0
Shenanigans Called - 0
Apocalypse Called - 0


Tuesday, November 3, 2015

Rhymes With Blinvisible


Episode 6.11: Gone. Original Airdate 1.08.02



"The Three Geeks mistakenly turn Buffy invisible. The Slayer takes some advantage from going unseen. Willow has to do the detective without using magic, while Xander finds Spike doing some weird physical training."





Daniel's Thoughts:

  • Really? They can't even have candles?
  • Searching for drugs...I mean magic things...in the cushions
  • Invisibility ray...step up from a freeze ray?
  • Ok, at least Buffy realizes she was being a bad friend when her friend was drowning.
  • It's ok, Spike. You had a blanket. You're fine from the sun.
  • SHENANIGANS. Spike is RIGHT in direct sunlight in front of the window.


  • Aww, it's LA Law's Susan Ruttan
  • "We don't gay." Ugh, that's sad. A time when it's assumed being gay would make you a bad parent. I mean, there are tons of people who still think that way. Kinda gross.
  • Oops. Accidentally invisibled the slayer.
  • Marcy call back!
  • I love that Anya is excited about Buffy's haircut.
  • Look at all the things we can do with our visual effects department
  • The eyes thing. Anya doesn't know what to do!


  • Speaking of all the things I was blaming Buffy for...Xander hasn't been that great either. I mean, he talks all the time to Anya and Buffy about what Willow is going through but not talking to her about it.
  • Buffy is having so much fun being invisible. It's actually kinda cute.
  • I mean it doesn't give you license to steal a car, Buff...or a police golf cart? [We've seen what happens when she drives real cars. - Z]
  • I love how homey Spike's made his crypt.
  • "An unpleasant tactile experience!"
  • "We're not killers, we're crime lords" -- and that's the whole thing. I don't really understand what Jonathan thinks he's doing...Where's the line, Jonathan?
  • Oh this is so awkward. Naked push-ups...
  • Second episode in a row where I have to tell Spike to put some damn clothes on. [My bad. - Marti Noxon]
  • See? Willow, you can be really badass as yourself, with your computer skills. Wait til iPhones are invented. You'll be unstoppable.
  • Why'd they choose Jonathan to make the call? Clearly Buffy knows his voice the best.
  • The camera work is great. I love that it seems like the cameraman doesn't know where to point. It's kinda breaking the fourth wall, a little bit which is not really a staple of the show except for singing to the camera in OMWF.
  • "Jonathan? Warren? [To Andrew]...who are you?" Heh.
  • No one remembers the flying monkeys...cause...like it didn't happen on air.
  • No matter how lame the trio are...at least this episode brought Buffy and Willow back together.

Zelda's Thoughts:

  • Um so. Why is Spike's lighter buried in the cushions of the couch?
  • "You penis!" I think that's my favorite insult. Maybe it's just the way Jonathan yells it at Warren
  • Buffy wig! I see you! I actually don't think it looks awful, but I've seen other bloggers mock it relentlessly.
  • "What are you doing? And here?"
  • Spike should really be catching on fire with all the light coming through the blinds in the kitchen.
  • Oh man, Buffy, your shirt is completely see-through. Not great for greeting the social worker.
  • "It's been a bad time for a while now, hasn't it, Miss Summers?" sad but true
  • She brings up Buffy's unemployment - good set up for the Doublemeat nonsense next ep.
  • Aw, Buffy got her adorable haircut and was promptly made blinvisible.
  • This is the most whimsical we've seen Buffy all season. But also the most unfocused and irresponsible we've seen her in several seasons.
  • I love that everyone thinks Buffy's haircut is adorable, sight unseen. I mean, they're right, but ... anyway, it's a very cute thing. This ep is actually a really nice palate cleanser after how much we hated Wrecked.
  • mmmph but I don't really like the mean pranking of Mr. Kroeger. While it's good for Buffy that her bad report can now basically be nullified, this is cruel to do to a woman who is honestly trying to do her job and protect Dawn, who - let's face it - could use some protecting. This isn't what we do, Buffy. We don't go after innocent humans. We are not Machiavelli.
  • While we continue to wonder both why Spike hasn't covered the windows in his crypt, or how he is powering his TV and fridge, I do rather like that both the TV and fridge are clearly decades old.
  • "An unpleasant tactile experience."
  • "We're not killing anybody. Especially not Buffy!" // "You guys are so immature." Yeah, why can't you be a sociopathic rapey murderer like me?
  • So is this when we really start to see that Warren is distinctly darker than the other two? They're semi-harmless goobers - granted, they're goobers who need a serious re-education on how to treat women and how to be ... human - but Warren does not give a shit.
  • Naked Spike Shots!
  • The ear thing is freaking me out.
  • "Free of life? Got another name for that. Dead."
  • AWWWW REMEMBER INTERNET CAFES, YOU GUYS? REMEMBER?
  • AWWWW REMEMBER ANSWERING MACHINES, YOU GUYS? REMEMBER?
  • "Tell her about the pudding!"
  • The camera pans to a reaction shot ... of Blinvisible Buffy. I kinda love it.
  • That is an incredibly poorly-hidden van.
  • "Who is this? You sound familiar." "I'm nobody ... no one you know." I'm ashamed to say my sister and I use that one a lot. No, you know what? I'm not ashamed.
  • OMG this scene. It's smack talk between four invisible people. the camera flipping back and forth like a tennis game. This is amazing.
  • I love that they remember Tucker. I barely remember Tucker. My memory of Tucker is chiefly for the purpose of winning bar trivia.
  • Me: "Why doesn't she chase them?" Buffy: "I know, they're gone. I guess we should chase them." Me: "Yes! Chase them!" Buffy: *talks about her haircut*
  • "I didn't ... I don't wanna die. That's something, right?" But next week we'll go back into depression-ville for Buffy, alas. Because it's a very very small something.
  • "Yay for us." // "Yay"


Favorite Lines:
Daniel: "Kill, Doris. Kill everybody." - Buffy, having way too much fun
Zelda: "Tell her about the pudding!" - Anya
Arc/Continuity Stuff:

  • Recurring: The Trio
  • Dawn's in a sling from that time Willow broke her arm.
  • The Trio use the diamond they stole in Smashed to build their invisibility ray.
  • Shoutout to Marcie from Out of Mind, Out of Sight
  • The Scoobies finally know The Trio are behind the lame crimes of late.
  • Shoutout to Tucker Wells (as always)
Stats:

Anya's Hair - very blond, straight
Dead Humans - 0
Dead Undeads - 0
Dead Flashbacks - 0
Buffy Breaks a Door - 0
Evil Reveal - 0
Unevil Reveal - 0
Shenanigans Called - 1
Apocalypse Called - 0

Tuesday, October 27, 2015

Stinky Yak Cheese in My Bra

Episode 6.10: Wrecked. Original Airdate 11.27.01                   




[another bad summary from imdb, so Zelda rewrote it] While Buffy is regretting sleeping with Spike, Willow descends further into her magic addiction when she meets Rack, who is awful in every way.


Zelda's Thoughts:



  • And thus begins the season of Spike Isn't Allowed to Wear Clothes [You love it, pet ~Spike]
  • Wow, Spike, your pillow talk is awful. "I knew the only thing better than killing a Slayer would be f-"also a callback to when he and Dru got off on killing the Slayer during the Boxer Rebellion.
  • Hey, I just had a thought. Rats only live a few years. Willow may have transformed Amy back into a human just in time. [Well... ~Peter Pettigrew]
  • Man, poor Dawn. She's trying to play it so lightly, but she is being super neglected. Willow and Buffy are finally home, and they're both heading off to sleep the day away.
  • Yep, time for my Amy Shenanigan. How the fuck does she know about Rack? She literally JUST stopped being a rat. It's such a contrivance for the sake of moving along Willow's junkie arc. Okay, so they drop in some language that she knew about him back before she became a rat, but I have a lot of trouble believing the Amy we knew would be into this.
  • "It's cool, isn't it," Amy says as the camera pans over a waiting room full of skeletal-looking junkies.
  • Fuck off, Rack. I hate him and I hate the actor.
  • "It's okay, it's over fast." // "I'm just going to take a little tour." Ugh, can this episode be over already?
  • I always forgot when the creepy inflated Tara dress thing happened. It's both sad and kind of horrifying.
  • And in this week's Inconsistent Characterization of Dawn, she's completely blase about Buffy/Willow's abandonment, and assures Willow - seeming completely sincere - that she's completely fine on her own.
  • Oh look now it's time for Amy to fulfill the role of junkie friend.
  • Willow's Rack's new favorite? Amy knows this after taking her there once? Ugh whatever to the timeline.
  • God fucking dammit, Willow. Do NOT take Dawn to Rack's den.
  • How am I going to pick out a favorite line when I'm spending this whole episode just being mad at all the characters?
  • More Naked Spike.
  • AH is doing a good job with the arc, and even if it's clear the writers are doing a bit of a 180 on what Willow and her magic has been a metaphor for, the metaphor for drug addiction as executed here mostly works. I'm just frustrated.
  • "I'm in your system now. You're gonna crave me like I crave blood." More junkie language.
  • It is kind a cool horrifying thing, that Willow's trippy magic adventures with Rack actually summoned a demon.
  • YEAH DAWN YOU KICK THAT DEMON IN THE GUT.

Dawn slapped Willow. Good.

  • But Willow's finally recognized she has a problem. "God, I need help. Please, please help me."
  • And Buffy's face. She's still pretty dead inside. But she has to be strong for Willow.
  • "If you could be, you know, Plain Old Willow or Super Willow, who would you be? I guess you don't actually have an option on the whole super thing." // "Wil, there's nothing wrong with you. You don't need magic to be special." It's actually a really great distillation of how Willow got to this point, this conversation. And a continued set up for Willow's final arc this season. She thinks Tara never knew "boring" non-magic Willow, but she also thinks that Tara is what made her special. When Tara's taken away again, she doesn't want to be anything resembling Willow anymore. But we're not there yet.
  • Buffy bought $300 worth of garlic and hung it from her windows.



Daniel's Thoughts:



  • It’s the next day and Tara has stayed all night because Buffy and Willow are all irresponsible and stuff. 
  • I’m kinda jealous.  I could never “just close my eyes for a minute” and fall asleep for the whole night.
  • They’re all bloody.  Buffy, this is not healthy.  Which, yeah, I know is the point.  But I wish it would stop.
  • Season 4, they drifted apart…season 5, they all got back together…and now season 6, they’re all just self-destroying.
  • Spike: It’s daylight, I can’t leave.  Yeah you can.  You’re immune to the sun, remember? Just like put a blanket on your head and you can walk for miles.
  • Aww, Tara/Willow awkwardness.
  • Joyce still has African art on her wall. 
  • Haha, there’s a sign at the magic shop: Shoplifters will be transfigured.
  • "Martha Stewart isn’t a demon, she’s a witch."
  • How does Amy know about this guy? She’s been a rat for years.
  • And everyone in the waiting room looks like a junkie…we get it.
  • Rack is so gross.
  • See, they’re not actually doing any magic.  They’re hallucinating and…yeah ok, rolling on the ceiling but they’re not accomplishing anything.  They’re just high.  It’s not so much a metaphor.  They’re just high.  Cool visuals, though?
  • Putting Tara’s clothes on the bed and magicking them to have her shape to hold her is actually kinda sweet…
  • “I’ll leave a note for Buffy on the fridge.  It’s the first place she goes after patrolling..” Well sometimes she does crave a fat free yogurt…
  • Why is Buffy attacking Amy? Ugh, this over-metaphor metaphor is awful.
  • No one in the waiting room this time…and Willow can just walk into Rack’s room?
  • Again, nothing really to do with magic…she’s just really high.  Is she traveling through space? Is she hallucinating it?  It just feels like a hallucination.
  • Eww, put some clothes on, Spike.
  • Hairy demon kinda looks like a werewolf. 
  • Willow is steering by motioning like Anya did in the Restless dream:
(Thanks, Lucas, for making this gif!)

  • Drunk driving/magic driving…  we get it.  The ‘metaphor’ really didn’t use to bother me this much.
  • I like that we’ve had at least some real location shots...
  • And you know what?  Shut up, Buffy.  As much as I hate Willow at this moment, Buffy saw everything that was going on with Willow lately and did absolutely nothing to help her best friend so she really can’t be this mad at her.  Willow’s been self-destructing for a while.  Then again, so has Buffy and Willow doesn’t seem to notice or care.  They’re both being horrible friends.  The only person who is open and honest is Anya…
  • At least they’re being open and honest now?  They’re being there for each other?  As contrived as this episode is…at least it has that?
  • Hey, look…she’s having the DTs, like a drug addict….we get it.



Favorite Lines:
Zelda: eh.
Daniel: "Martha Stewart isn’t a demon, she’s a witch." ~Anya
 

Arc/Continuity Stuff:

First appearance: Rack (trivia note: same actor as Kralik from Helpless)
Recurring: Tara, Amy
Dawn's comment that Buffy goes right to the fridge after patrolling is a callback to Faith's remark about slaying making you hungry and horny.

Stats:
Anya's Hair - very blond, curly
Dead Humans - 0
Dead Undeads - 1
Dead Flashbacks - 0
Buffy Breaks a Door - 0
Willow Breaks a Car - 1
Evil Reveal - 0
Unevil Reveal - 0
Shenanigans Called - 1
Apocalypse Called - 0


Tuesday, October 20, 2015

A Frost Monster Who Eats Diamonds


Episode 6.9: Smashed. Original Airdate 11.20.01

[IMDB's summary sucked so Z wrote her own]. While Willow finds an old magic buddy with the newly de-rat-fied Amy, Buffy seeks companionship of a Spike-shaped variety.



Daniel's Thoughts:

  • I really don’t remember this episode that much.
  • Interesting, a non-magical mugging
  • Buffy can still kick their asses….just not stake them
  • Damn, Spike, stop it.
  • Did they just reference Jessica Fletcher as a go-to pop culture detective reference?


  • “I’m the only one here for you, pet. You’ve got no one else.”  Yep, nothing abusive about that relationship.  If he hits you, he just likes you.
  •  ‘Revele.’  Wow, so that’s all Willow has to do to get a spell for basically anything they need help with ever?  How convenient.  I guess she can use that for the rest of the episodes for all things. [Yeahhhhhh  that's a pretty convenient never-again-used deus ex machina - Z]
  • Hey, Amy!
  • Andrew’s Mission: Impossible parody is dated.
  • Oh right, the freeze machine. More DC than Buffy.  The nerds are so a way for the comic book geek writers to fulfill certain weird fantasies.  It just doesn’t fit in this universe.
  • ..With my freezeray, I will stop…
  • Elizabeth Anne Allen is really good at acting like a rat.
  • Poor rat Amy had no concept of time.
  • "1. Larry’s gay. 2 Larry’s dead…"
  • It must be weird to for Buffy to see Willow living in her dead mom's room. (And still probably not paying rent or contributing to the house in any way.)
  • "How have you been?" "Rat, you?" "Dead." "Oh."
  • I hate that trope where someone has something important to say, gets interrupted, and then never says the thing.  Like the other person wouldn’t be curious.
  • I miss Giles.
  • Also, where are Anya and Xander? (Ok, and Dawn?)
  • Buffy: “Please stop.” YES, PLEASE STOP.  YES, PLEASE STOP.  MAYBE IF I WISH IT HARD ENOUGH THE PLOT LINE WILL GO  DIFFERENTLY THIS TIME.
  • So Spike thinks his chip is gone so naturally he’s going to hunt a human.  YES, HE HAS CHANGED.
  • I just don’t know how anyone can root for Spuffy.
  • Hey, there’s Dawn and Tara.  I’m glad Tara still sees Dawn.
  • Willow’s got a mac!


  • “Is this that thing I do that you were commenting on?”  Anya’s awesome.
  • Andrew meets Spike…and a new love is born.
  • Doesn’t Spike have super vampire hearing? He’s only like 5 feet away.
  • I kinda dig Willow’s jacket.  That’s new.  Willow wearing something I like. Must be the drugs magic.
  • Andrew, you can’t have seen every episode of Doctor Who, since a lot of eps are lost and you're not old enough to have seen them live. See? I can nerd, too.
  • This night out is so awkward.  And everything is so 90s from the music to the clothes…to the boys’ hairstyles.
  • “There’s no such thing as a frost monster who eats diamonds”
  • He’s only hitting you because he likes you, Buffy  This is gross.
  • Everything Willow and Amy are doing….it’s just so dumb.
  • Ew, Spuffy sex…that literally brought down the house….I’m so over this ep.

Zelda's Thoughts:

  • Aw, Buffy is quipping. "I always wanted a pony." // "Come on, rush me. It'll be funny."
  • Aw dang, they're not even vamps. How weird and random.
  • "Remind me not to help you." // "More often?"
  • Amy's back! Her hair looks good. All nicely highlighted, just how rats wear it these days. And those perfectly manicured brows.
  • "We should probably just Get The Freeze Ray out of here now."
  • Aw Amy. "I felt like I was in that cage for weeks."
  • Buffy and Willow. So stilted. So non communicate-y. 
  • And it kills me, Buffy was about to tell Willow about kissing Spike, and then Amy appears.
  • Oh mannnnnnnnnnn Tom and Nicole. Tom hasn't even gone all couch-jumping yet for our Sunnydale children.
  • I can't call shenanigans on Sunnydale having a museum, because even my one-horse town had like one or two tiny museums. None with fancy steal-able diamonds, but still.
  • Okay, but this shot is cheekbone city.

  • Oh Spike. Two steps forward, five miles back. This is why you need your own internal morality, not just What Will Make The Object of My Affection Happy Today? As soon as he thinks his chip is broken, he goes out looking for a human meal.
  • I love that Tara isn't severing ties with the other Scoobies, even if she broke up with Willow. "You know that I will always be there for you, right?" really makes it clear how much she's become one of Dawn's surrogate moms.
  • Aw man, the Scoobies are all congratulatory of Willow for using her tech fu instead of witch fu, and then NOPE she's still using magic.
  • Good for Anya, using her words. The Scoobies need to use their words more.
  • Wow and Willow's in such freaking denial about why Tara left her, and her own culpability. You'd think, after Tabula Rasa, she'd be a bit more aware, but nope.
  • In character continuity, completely suppressing her heartbreak is something we've seen from Willow before - y'all remember Brave Litle Drunk Dancing Toaster Willow after Oz left?
  • Oh I forgot Spike visited the Trio.
This whole sequence is delightful and yet somehow we didn't quote it.
Probably because Warren is the worst.

  • "Dudes, I think that's Spike." Oh Andrew.
  • Okay, so at this point in the narrative, the Scoobies still don't know the Trio are behind Life Serial. Spike's come to Warren because he remembers him from robot days of yore.
  • Amy's wearing a fluffy pink sweater, but we can neither confirm nor deny that this sweater previously belonged to Willow.
  • At least Warren's scanning of the chip doesn't involve a really fake-looking opening of Spike's skull.
  • I should see Red Dwarf. My sister liked it.
  • Hey, did you guys know (yeah, you probably knew) that Adam Busch (Warren) was in last week's episode of Danny Strong's Empire? True story.
  • Hey, remember when it was a thing that clothing had like foil woven into it so everything glittered? Both Dawn and Tara are sparkling like Twilight vampires here.
  • I feel like Amy didn't have this level of power back when she turned into a rat. Like, the rat thing was the biggest trick in her arsenal at that point. Now with a snap of her fingers she can fetch a lesbian to flirt with Willow. It bothers me a bit, because while I think it's a great idea to bring Amy back, the writers have made her pretty malleable to their storytelling purposes (like, HOW does she know about Rack in the next episode? It doesn't really make sense. And then the only times they bring her back are to show the junkie Willow is trying not to be, overworking their metaphor. And then when they bring her back in S7 ... it's just such a lot of whatever)
  • "Responsible people are always so concerned with being good all the time, that when they finally get a taste of being bad, they can't get enough. It's like all ... kablooey." Because it hasn't been about being "good" for Willow, it's been about power and control, feeling like reality is hers to shape to her will. But because she still thinks of herself as Reliable Dog Geyser Person, she doesn't see how any of her actions, no matter how irresponsible, could be bad. She's a "good" person. Good people don't do bad things.
  • Aw a payphone. The last payphone left in America.
  • Oh look, Spike owns another shirt! A purple shirt!
  • Sigh. And thus begins the You Came Back Wrong campaign. Please stop making Buffy feel even worse about her resurrection than she already does.
  • This whole Bronze sequence is just ... Willow and Amy are being so irresponsible and awful to these innocent people they don't even know. Stop, Willow. Stop, Amy. Stop what you're doing. People are not your toys.
  • Time for house-breaking sexytimes!

  • As Joss said in the commentary of ... some episode (I wanna say Wild at Heart?), "Au revoir, Monsier Metaphor!"
  • It is pretty surprising to see such explicit sexual movements on a show originally aimed at teens.

Favorite Lines:

Daniel: "Oh, for crying out loud. This is bizarre. You're all, 'la la la!' with, with the magic, and the not talking, like everything's normal, when we all know that Tara up and left you and now everyone's scared to say anything to you. Except me. Is this that thing I do that you were commenting - " - Anya
Zelda: "We should probably just get the freeze ray out of here now." - Warren



Arc/Continuity Stuff:

  • Recurring: Amy the Rat AND Amy the Witch, The Trio, Tara
  • Shoutout to Dead Gay Larry, Snyder, the Mayor Snake
  • Spike's chip doesn't work when he hits Buffy now.


Stats:

Anya's Hair - loose waves, very blonde
Dead Humans - 0
Dead Undeads - 0
Dead Flashbacks - 0
Buffy Breaks a Door - 0
Buffy Breaks a House - 1
Evil Reveal - 0
Unevil Reveal - 0
Shenanigans Called - 0
Apocalypse Called - 0

Wednesday, September 16, 2015

Ready Randy? Ready Joan!

Episode 6.8: Tabula Rasa. Original Airdate 11.13.01


"Willow tries to solve too many problems with magic, accidentally making herself and the others forget who they are just as a demon loan shark and his boys come looking to collect a debt from Spike."




**A Note: Zelda and I do the NYT Crossword every day, because nerds, and yesterday we discovered that there was a clue/answer that was Tabula Rasa and we both thought that was a cool awesome coincidence, also because nerds.

Zelda's Thoughts:


  • I'd like to first apologize for some of my remarks in our recent posts. It's been brought to my attention that I was speaking in ignorance regarding Buffy's depression and the ebbs and flows of lows and highs that accompany it. I want to apologize if I have hurt or offended anyone with my disrespect. If I have anything further to add, I'd theorize that SMG thought Buffy might be working through it faster than the wrters intended (see: end of Gone), and this would account for a tonal inconsistency. Anyway, thanks for putting up with me. Now let's get our amnesia on!
  • YAY TABULA RASA. IT'S ALL DOWNHILL FROM HERE. At least in terms of depressingness.
  • "With the rising music and the rising ... music." Spike made a penis joke.
  • Ugh. This shark. He's sooooooooooo badly acted, and the makeup is goofy. The only reason I'm okay with the shark is I consider it a shoutout to Restless: A shark. With feet, and much less fins.
  • Buffy's rolling her eyes at this stupid shark. I'm right there with you, Buffy.
  • Spike runs away. Why don't the vampires chase him? This whole plot is so dumb. It's lucky I love the rest of the episode.
  • "What? I'm just saying what everyone's thinking." In case we were in doubt about Anya being the new Cordy.
  • I'm glad they're not brushing off Buffy's confession as nothing.
  • "We didn't wreck. We didn't know" // "We didn't wanna know. We were so selfish. I was so selfish." See, and at this moment it seems like Willow is actually taking responsibility for her actions. But no, it's self-pity. And she knows how to fix feeling bad about herself. It's called enspelling everything and everyone. STOP IT, WILLOW.
  • "Do you think I'm stupid? I know you used that spell on me." // "Tara, I didn't mean to -" // "To what? Violate my mind like that? How could you, Willow? How could you, after what Glory did to me?"
  • And the way Willow recoils at the word violate, it's the same as Andrew and Jonathan will, when Katrina calls them out on their intended rape in Dead Things. All three of these people, taking the action and not recognizing what it is, not willing to acknowledge they're as awful as what that word means they are. (Warren, on the other hand, he knew what it was he was doing, that fuckface)
  • "If you don't want to fight, you don't fight. You don't use magic to make a fight disappear."
  • Tara is being so mature in this fight. Pointing out what Willow's doing but not in an attacking manner. Trying to make Willow aware of the full violation and implication of her careless actions, and sticking up for herself. And Willow's still in denial that what she's doing is hurting others, is an abuse.
  • "I will go a month without doing any magic. I won't do a single spell, I swear." // "Go a week. One week without magic." // "Fine. Fine, that's easy." Next day: Willow uses magic with no sign of guilt or awareness.
  • "Are you saying you're gonna leave me?" Cut to Giles: "I have to." Me: "Noooooooooooooooooooooo!"
  • Oh Tara. Your hair is tragic today and I don't know why.
  • Goddammit Willow. Look at your life, look at your choices.
  • YOU'RE TRYING TO WIPE BUFFY'S MEMORY. Do you really think no one else would notice? It's not like she's targeting anyone else's memory that Buffy was in heaven. This is such a poorly thought-out plan.
  • More evidence that that damn shark is a callback to Restless - Spike is wearing the same suit he wore in Xander's dream.
  • Why are they saying "jump to the chase"? Isn't it cut to the chase?
  • "I know that you guys are just trying to help, but it's just, it's too much." Buffy needs a hug, you guys.
  • Oh it's naptime at the OK Corral.
  • Wow, they slept all day. It was morning before, and now it's full night.
  • Heh, Giles drooled on Anya.
  • "I'm afraid we don't know a bloody thing, Except I seem to be British, don't I."
  • MORE RESTLESS SHOUTOUT - "Spike's like a son to me" - here we have Rupert Giles's son, Randy Giles.
  • "Oh god, how I must hate you." // "What did I do?" // "There's always something."
  • I love that Spike wakes up complete with massive daddy issues (even though the real Spike had mommy issues)
  • "Made with care for Randy." His look of betrayal is perfect.  

"I knew there was a reason I hated you"

  • You know what I love? Everyone gets their relationships wrong - Annya and Giles, Willow and "Alex," but Buffy and Dawn figure out that they're sisters. It's so damn sweet.
  • "You never showed me affection like that ... I'd wager."
  • The thing is, Spike's not wrong about Giles's car, is he.
  • BEST MOMENT IN THE WHOLE SERIES. That scream. All of their faces. I can't, I just can't.
  • "They seem to want spikes." Spike's epiphany -


  • "Hey! Stay away from Randy!" I love this episode so damn much.
  • "Hey, I'm a superhero too!" And Joan the Vampire Slayer runs away.
  • Oho that's some sexual tension between Willow and Tara. It'd be sweet if, you know, Willow wasn't entirely reprehensible.
  • Oh, in case I squawked in the past, we did just confirm that Sunnydale Airport is not an international airport - he's connecting through LAX to get to Heathrow. Not that solves anything about the One Starbucks Town having an airport.
  • "Bara bara himble gemination. AAAAAH"


  • "I must be a noble vampire. A good guy. On a mission of redemption. I help the hopeless. I'm a vampire with a soul." // "A vampire with a soul? Oh my god, how lame is that?" YES MAKE FUN OF ANGEL KEEP DOING IT IT GIVES ME LIFE
  • Seriously, though, is Anya's book ONLY for summoning bunnies? Why does every spell bring a new bunny? Adorable but seriously what kind of useless book is that, and why would Anya ever permit it in her shop?
  • I love how done with Randy's noble musings Joan is.
  • "What capital? I never know what you're talking about. Loo, shag, brolly, what the hell is all that?" // "What? There's no way that you could remember me saying any of those words." Have I mentioned lately how much I love this episode?
  • Now Giles is dueling with a skeleton.
This is amazing
  • "And I feel compelled to take some vengeance on you."

This is basically Daniel and me.
  • Oh god, Buffy's face as the spell lifts. As she suddenly remembers everything. It hurts.
  • And Tara's face, as she remembers everything. And looks at Willow. Who doesn't even say anything.
  • And Dawn's face. She knows too, what Willow did.
  • This is the genius of this episode. It's so damn fun, but then it punches you right in the gut. Because it's awful, what Willow did. And it fixed nothing. It made the pain all the worse, for the brief absence.
  • Go away, stupid loan shark. Nobody likes you.
  • This sequence right here, is responsible for my owning a Michelle Branch CD. Hey kids, remember CDs?
  • This sequence is amazing though. And the song over it. It's all so heartbreaking.
  • "Feels like I'm starting all over again, the last three years were just pretend."
  • Yeah, Willow, you sit there and cry. You still don't fully realize how this is explicitly your fault. At least not enough to stop the path you're on.
  • Everyone's in so much pain. Giles. Buffy. Tara, Willow. Dawn. Buffy. Buffy. Buffy.
  • "You were the one I loved, the one thing that I tried to hold onto."
  • "And it hurts to want everything and nothing at the same time." Good song, y'all.
  • Man, the Spuffy chemistry is so good.



Daniel Thoughts:



  • Great follow-up episode!
  • There’s Buffy with her giant sweater in sout- Oh, you’ve heard me complain about this enough.
  • Damn Californians.
  • And here we have the worst looking demon in the history of Buffy.  And the worst pun….a loan shark. Get it?  GEDDIT?  Seriously, it looks terrible.  He’s got gills. How can he…oh never mind.
  • Shark Demon’s job offer for debt collecting?  Buffy might want to consider that….Might be better than being a fast food worker. [Legit. - Z]
  • “If I were to stop saving his life, it would simple things up so much.”  Yep.
  • Anya & everyone discussing the aftermath of OMWF.
  • “Who doesn’t look good with a harp?”
  • I like that Tara talks about the million heavenly dimensions similar to what we already know about hell dimensions.  Though I feel like Anya should know about that.
  • And Xander’s argument  that he’s just happy that his best friend is back is also valid. Selfish, but valid.
  • And the memory spell confrontation.  It’s sad to see them fighting but Tara has every right to be angry.  It’s good she brings up Glory because that’s important.  Tara’s mind has been violated before.
  • Willow: “I need you, baby.”  I like her pleading but the use of the word ‘baby’ feels false.
  • Don’t go Giles! Season six needs you!!!
  • And Willow…geez.  She makes this promise.  She knows how fucking important it is to Tara.  And yet, she’s doing it again.  She can’t even change her clothes without magic.
  • Tara and Anya are playing thumb war!  Nice call back to the beginning of season 5 when Tara plays it with Dawn.
  • HOW DID THAT HAT PROTECT SPIKE AGAINST THE SUN.  Damn, man. SHENANIGANS.
THIS IS NOT ENOUGH TO PROTECT VAMPS FROM THE SUN.

  • Oh look, Willow’s spell went wrong.  Must be Tuesday.
  • The fainting is well done.
  • I like that Spike falls with a nice pile of books to catch his head.
  • It’s night out.  How long have they been out for?
  • Giles drooled on Anya!
  • And despite the loss of their memories – Buffy immediately feels an instinct to protect Dawn.
  • Xander goes all “hey” to Willow, like it’s season 3 or something.
  • Magic is all balderdash and chicanery!
  • “I seem to be British.”
  • You Englishmen are always so...  Bloody hell!  Sodding, blimey, shagging, knickers, bollocks, oh God! I'm English!
  • “There is a ruggedly handsome resemblance.” – Anya & Giles!  I SHIP THIS SO MUCH!
  • Willow, funny name!
  • Umad!
  • Randy Giles!  Horny Giles! Desperate for a shag Giles!
  • Anya mispronounces her name! I love it! I love it so.
  • Joan the vampire slayer!  Joan!
  • Spike: “Vampires!”
  • “Blood suckers.  They kill by sucking blood. Take it easy, Joan!”
  • “Stay away from Randy!”
  • “I’m like a superhero or something!”  SMG is so cute.
  • “Ready Randy? Ready Joan!”
  • THERE ARE JUST SO MANY GOOD LINES IN THIS EPISODE. ALL I'M DOING IS QUOTING.
  • Giles & Spikes awkward father/son hug.
  • “Hey! I’m a superhero too!”
  • I’m actually surprised Spike didn’t feel the need to feed on anyone before he discovered he was a vampire.
  • Oh hey...How’d they know where the sewers were?  You know, without memory and all?
  • Aww “Alexander” is unaware of the looks his “girlfriend” is exchanging with Tara.
  • The Anya/Giles banter is amazing.
  • And a bunny! Oh no!  Anya still has her bunny fear!
  • “I help the helpless.”  And Spike describes the plot of Angel.


  • "Bugger off you brolly!"
  • Sword fighting a skeleton!  CGI at its best!
  • “And I feel compelled to take some vengeance on you!”
  • “Rupee” Heh.
  • OMG, the Giles/Anya kiss that I ship so much! 
*swoon*

  • And now…Tara better leave.  Because she’s just realized that this has turned completely and totally abusive.
  • Where is Tara moving to, I wonder? Dorms, I guess.
  • Giles on a plane :(  Don’t go, Giles! DON’T GO!
  • "Goooodbbbyyyyeeee toooo youuuuuuuu."
  • Dawn being mad at Tara for leaving is lame but understandable.
  • Ugh. Buffy/Spike make-out.  Again.  Ick.



Favorite Lines: (We get two this ep because it's amazing)

Zelda: 1. "Randy Giles? Why not just call me Horny Giles, or Desperate For a Shag Giles? I knew there was a reason I hated you." - Spike (plus every single time he needles Giles for supposed fatherly neglect)
2. "Oh bugger off, you brolly." - Anya
Daniel: 1. "Bloodsuckers. They kill by sucking blood. Take it easy, Joan" - Anya

2. You Englishmen are always so...  Bloody hell!  Sodding, blimey, shagging, knickers, bollocks, oh God! I'm English!” - Spike


Arc/Continuity Stuff:


  • Recurring: kittens as currency, Tara, Giles, Willow abusing magic, Anya's fear of bunnies
  • Callbacks to Restless: a shark with feet and much less fins, Spike's suit, Spike's being like a son to Giles
  • Callback to Doppelgangland "I think I'm kinda gay."



Stats:

Anya's Hair - soft, wavy curls, honey-colored
Dead Humans - 0
Dead Undeads - 6
Dead Flashbacks - 0
Giles Unconscious - 1
Xander Unconscious - 2
Giles Cleans His Glasses - 0
Buffy Breaks a Door - 0
Buffy Breaks a Mailbox - 1
Evil Reveal - 0
Unevil Reveal - 0
Shenanigans Called - 1
Apocalypse Called - 0