PLEASE NOTE: THIS IS A SPOILER-RICH ZONE. If your diet requires you to dine on television spoiler-free ... good luck with that.


Tuesday, October 17, 2017

Implied Polygamy? Check.

Episode 1.9: Drinking the Kool-Aid. Original Airdate 11.30.04

"Against her father's wishes, Veronica infiltrates what she believes to be a cult in order to investigate a classmate's sudden change in personality. But after meeting the people in the cult, she begins to feel like she is making a mistake. Meanwhile, her investigations into Abel Koontz's claims about her family continue."

Daniel's Thoughts:

  • We start out exactly where we left off – Veronica sobbing over the fact that her father might be Jake Kane.
  • The bigger realization here, of course, is that the guy she dated and kissed a bunch might be her brother.  Veronica shares my sentiments and throws up on the side of the road.
  • She’s such an amazing detective. Everything falls into place.  I mean, it’s almost too perfect. Giant sign in the background – exact date and time due to specific circumstances – the suspect using a credit card that easily traces back to him.  I mean yeah, but I don’t care.  She still put all the pieces together and that’s why we love her.
  • I love how excited Keith is to get Veronica something that she always wanted….from her childhood.  And it’s nice that Veronica considers it sweet, if not impractical.  I mean waterbeds are….just.  
  • Keith’s new case: Rescue a kid from a cult.
  • The way Veronica is getting Keith’s DNA is so obvious…to us….  But since Keith has no idea about what V’s been up to, I guess it’s a creative way.  Or…maybe he does know?
  • Hey! It’s Aaron Samuels.  On October 3rd 17th, he asked me the date.

  • It’s nice that Wallace is around, but not just as that guy that helps Veronica out.
  • Oh no.  I hate that, “Let’s break into groups of”  That was always anxiety inducing in high school.  Poor Veronica. Convenient that the class is divisible by four with one left over.
  • Wow, that was easy.  One conversation with Miss Mills and Veronica gets invited to visit the cult.
  • “Implied polygamy – Check.”
  • That place looks nice.  Maybe I’ll join a cult.
  • “I’m Rain.” – Accurate cult name.
  • I mean, you can’t have the word “moon” in your cultname.  It’s a dead giveaway.
  • “You’re covered in mud.”  “See, that’s why you make the big bucks.”
  • Greenhouse, cash-cow, secret barn.  Of course we all thought pot.  But….Poinsettias?  That’s kinda hilarious.
  • But that’s how cults getcha – “we just want you to be happy”  - Because isn’t that what everyone wants?  ….Anyone know of a cult currently recruiting members?
  • I wonder if Keith’s facial wounds were something Enrico got in real life….because it’s not important to the story but they had to explain it somehow.
  • I mean, Abel Koontz’s main thought that Veronica is Jake Kane’s daughter is solely based on looks – but Veronica’s got Keith’s drive and personality.  Now this of course could be nurture as opposed to nature – but I think it’s definitely in her DNA.
  • Again, Wallace never really has any stories of his own.  He’s just kinda there to be a sounding board for Veronica.
  • Veronica’s also good at coy flirting. (SHE’S GOOD AT EVERYTHING)
  • I love the giant picture of Rain on the milk carton.  Does milk still do  that? tl;dr: No.  They stopped in the late 80sShenanigans?
This is totes her headshot

  • “We have to call the police, Casey was just kidnapped.”  If she was that concerned, why didn’t she whip out her cell?
  • I’m glad the twist is that things aren’t just black & white.   A lesser show would have found evidence that this was just a cult no matter how good it seemed.  It’s kind of an optimistic ending to the case – which again, isn’t standard tv writing.   Thought it does kinda suck what happens to Aaron Samuels.
  • They’re doing that thing where a character just stands still while everyone walks fast around her.  Which I don’t get so much in this instance – how…long was Veronica standing there?  [Did Warren put that weird electrobug on her to make time speed up around her? - Z]

Zelda's Thoughts:

  • Previously on Veronica Mars: Is she a secret Kane?
  • I love that her realization that Duncan might be her brother gets a smash cut to her puking out the side of the car.
  • Bless Veronica, using her detectivey skills to figure out who was stalking her. She won't let herself be victimized.
  • Gasp! Her stalker, Clarence Wiedman, is Head of Security at Kane Software!
  • They're talking like Keith's got this disfiguring scar, but the lighting is so poor. I wonder if the actor got injured and they had to write that in.
  • He's so excited he got her a waterbed. I remember a childhood friend had a waterbed and I thought it was the coolest thing. Now I think I'd be kind of freaked out if I had one.

  • We can see Keith's injury much clearer in the next scene in the office.
  • Casey Gant, aka Aaron Samuels, has joined a cult! 
  • "Veronica, do not under pain of slow agonizing death think about going to the compound yourself." So that means Veronica's definitely going to the compound.
  • snort I like that Veronica fakes a pretentious angsty teen poem to get in with Miss Mills's writer crowd.
  • I mean, I know the reveal is that the compound is just hippy dippy but it certainly is coding as culty from the get-go. "Forbidden barn? Check. Implied Polygamy? Check. Ladies and gentlemen, we have a cult."
  • Aaron Samuels is almost too pretty to look at.
  • "You're covered in mud." // "See? That's why you make the big bucks."
  • I feel you, Veronica. Cold showers are the worst.
  • Their cash crop is poinsettias. This is the dorkiest cult right now. 
  • Montage of everyone happily preparing food and laughing. Have we seen Veronica this laugh-y since Lilly died? Kinda breaking my heart.
  • Oops Keith crashed the cult and saw Veronica there. "Since when do you reserve the right to totally blow off my instructions? Does my judgment, my concern for your safety carry that little weight with you?"
  • Ruh roh. The Gants hired a deprogrammer.
  • *snort* The Deprogrammer closes the door and it immediately bounces back open. Oops. In the office shot, the door is closed, so maybe it was just a gaff they forgot to fix.
  • "Thank you for being my own personal Springer audience. Should I check myself before I wreck myself?"
  • Veronica has noticed how dreamy Aaron Samuels is. All he has to do is ask her the date and she'll have a full Cady Heron-shaped crush.

  • Sidebar: Daniel's new ringtone is like a UFO landing and I'm dying. It's called scifi apparently. [MY RING TONE MADE THE BLOG - D]
  • aw man milk carton missing children. but GASP it's Rain from the Moon-Calf Collective!
  • I have never once in my life been to a graveside ceremony. Is this a real thing or just a thing in movies and television?
  • Jonathan Bennett is like twice Kristen Bell's size and it's adorable.
  • nooooooooooo they have abducted Casey Gant for deprogramming. Goodbye Nice Casey, Hello Douche Casey.
  • awwwww Keith didn't turn in the Collective for having Rain the runaway. *hugs Keith forever*
  • Duncan is almost charming in his brief scenes this week. Like, the dialogue is there. The delivery is not.
  •  I don't know why, but I feel like this episode was made in a hurry. Not a criticism, necessarily, it just feels like they cut some corners getting things done, used some imperfect takes.
  • Veronica has decided it doesn't matter who her biological father is - Keith is her father. I'M FINE.

Favorite Lines:

Daniel & Zelda: Keith: "You're covered in mud." // Veronica: "See? That's why you make the big bucks."


Neptune Roll Call: Duncan, Wallace, Weevil (Absent: Logan, Mallory Dent) 
**Note: Sydney Tamiia Poitier is no longer in the credits. Her last appearance was in "The Girl Next Door," and her last billing in the credits was "Like a Virgin."**
First Appearance: Clarence Wiedman, Casey Gant
Recurring: Mrs. Murphy, Veronica's "Office"
Past Famous Person: Jonathan Bennett
Keith's Alias: Sal from the County Water Department


Dead Humans - 0
Backup Sighting - 1
Veronica Breaks In - 0
Veronica Tases Someone - 0
Mac Hacks - 0
Who's Your Daddy? - 0
Wallace Does Veronica a Favor - 0
Veronica Wants a Pony - 0
Logan Punches Someone - 0
Dick's Single Entendres - 0
Shenanigans Called - 1

Tuesday, October 3, 2017

The Interruptus in Someone Else's Coitus

Episode 1.8: Like a Virgin. Original Airdate 11.23.04

"A purity test being passed around Neptune High leaves Veronica's friend Meg humiliated, which leads Veronica to uncover who would want to ruin the reputation of the nicest girl in school. Meanwhile, Keith helps Wallace's mom with a tenant who refuses to leave, and Veronica has a shocking meeting with Lilly's confessed killer."

Zelda's Thoughts:

  • "You crazy kids, the stuff you're into. Hula hoops, cramming into photo booths, visiting death row inmates." Cliff is marvelous.
  • "I failed criminal law, and I still know that can't be good." Seriously, Cliff is the best.
  • Man, what a cruel move, dumping Veronica's clothes in the toilet. She didn't even do anything to provoke anyone this time.
  • But that means it's time to meet Meg, who is too Disney princess nice to exist.It is inexplicable to me that Duncan is here at the table with Dick, explaining the Purity Test - the inexplicability is that it's Duncan and not Logan. I mean, not entirely inexplicable, they were clearly having to make budgetary decisions, which is why we have our Neptune Roll Call, since the two Marses are the only regulars to actually appear in every episode. But like. No.

  • What a great way for Veronica to meet Wallace's mom for the first time. "Did she invite me for supper?" // "Aw, no, it's not big deal. You know how many girls she's caught flashing me?"

I see Veronica agrees with me about the Disney Princess

  • I also love your blue streaked hair, Mac
  • "So that one day in your memoirs, you'll describe me as inscrutable." I seriously love her style so much.
  • Our musical auditions in high school were in the choir room, not onstage, and they weren't on display for the other classmates auditioning. Our regular play auditions were, though.
  • Man, the guy lodging at the Fennels is so freaking creepy. Breaking in to use their stove. And refusing to pay rent. I fucking hate this guy so much. Relying so much on how he can make Alicia feel unsafe.
  • Lizzie sticking up for her sister to the douche boyfriend: A+. "You don't even like her." "Maybe not. But I love her."
  • "I don't see how you do it ... does it bother you, the things they say?" // "No. Here's what you do. You get tough. You get even."
  • gasp! Wallace's mom works at Kane Software. No wonder she doesn't like the Marses.
  • Keith Mars being awesome and getting rid of the creepo tenant. "That's nothing. You wanna see crazy? You better pay attention, cuz this is gonna get good." And then he makes all the weird noises he can think of. It's kind of like when Giles first revealed his Ripper side, the realization of how scary and protective our show's dad can be.

  • Our first Mac Hack!
  • In the fake letter sent from Veronica's letter to Duncan, "she" confesses she had VD while they were dating, which reminds me why Logan/Veronica was always going to beat Duncan/Veronica - as far as ship names go, LoVe is better than VD.
  • "You do have friends, Veronica." Yes, we know. Wallace and the absent Weevil. And now Meg!
  • "I barely let me socialize with myself, I'm a bad influence." I love you, Keith Mars.
  • oh man, it's so chilling when Abel reveals he knows who Veronica is. He may not be a murderer, but there's something scary/dangerous in a man who has nothing left to lose.
  • And then he tells her Jake Kane is her dad and ohhhhhhhhh shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit.

Daniel's Thoughts:

  • Hey! Touched for the very first time.
  • Man, I love Cliff McCormick. “I failed criminal law and I know that can’t be good.”
  • Omg, every single girl in the lockerroom is thin, athletic and blond.
  • Hey Meg! We like her a lot until those moments where we don’t. But I think we mostly like her? [Sounds about right. - Z]
  • Purity tests. I remember taking these. We took them in college.
  • Here’s the sexism: Dick is blatantly talking about how much he’s scored and then in the next breath, calls Veronica a skank. Boys are ashamed of getting high purity/Girls are ashamed of getting low purity.
  • Veronica is more self-aware than most teenagers I’ve ever known.
  • Of course the exposure of these tests affects the girls more than the guys – they get slut-shamed.
  • Hey! It’s Mac!

  • There are about 4 guys in this hallway with shirts with numbers – which I think was a thing in the 2000s.
  • Mr. DeMoy, IT guy - hottest IT guy I’ve ever seen. Ooh, and he has a French accent?

I couldn't find a single screenshot of him in the show, so here's his headshot.  You're welcome.

  • Wow, there are a lot of people auditioning people. There’s like a three-person panel.  
  • “Apparently I’ve pleasured the swim team…and” I don’t think purity tests are that specific.
  • Come on Mrs. Wallace, let your son take care of things.
  • She’s so damn smart.
  • Meg’s boyfriend is such a tool. He’s also like thirty.
  • Veronica says Porn Stash. But I prefer to think she meant Pornstache


  • “Overstepping is your main form of transportation.” Pot, Kettle, Veronica.
  • I wish they had developed Wallace more. He’s a good friend of Veronica’s and helps her out a lot but that’s pretty much his biggest thing. Every once in a while he has a problem that can be solved in a one hour episode, but he never really has a series arc.
  • I don’t know how I feel about Keith going all Mob Enforcer on the Fennel’s tenant. On the one hands, he totally deserves it. On the other hand, it seems way too thuggish for him.
  • Veronica’s IM name is: Life’s a Beach. I love it.
  • “Why do you insist on pissing me off, Kimmie”
  • Abel Koontz: I mean, I know he’s innocent, but he’s freaking creepy as hell.
  • And here’s finally clue #3, that Jake might be her dad (and Duncan her brother). Ok, not so much a clue as being outright told….
  • But this is the clincher for Veronica. She takes it hard because Keith Mars is the closest person in her life. He’s basically her whole life. He’s the hero that stayed.


Neptune High News Guy: Miss Poppum is hoping to bring a little bit of Broadway to the beach.
Daniel: ... what?!

Favorite Lines:

Zelda: Wallace: "Why are you holding up your hands like that?" Veronica: "So that one day in your memoirs, you'll describe me as inscrutable."

“Why do you insist on pissing me off, Kimmie” - Veronica


Neptune Roll Call: Duncan, Wallace (Absent: Logan, Weevil, Mallory Dent)
First Appearance: Meg Manning, Alicia Fennel, Darrell Fennel, Mac Mackenzie, Lizzie Manning
Recurring: Cliff McCormack, Dick Casablancas, Veronica's "Office," Mrs. Murphy, Deputy Jerry Sacks, Abel Koontz
Veronica's Alias: Ellen White, from Abel Koontz's hometown


Dead Humans - 0
Backup Sighting - 1
Veronica Breaks In - 0
Keith Breaks In - 1
Veronica Tases Someone - 0
Mac Hacks - 1
Who's Your Daddy? - 0
Wallace Does Veronica a Favor - 0
Veronica Wants a Pony - 0
Logan Punches Someone - 0
Dick's Single Entendres - 1 
Shenanigans Called - 0

Tuesday, September 26, 2017

Would You Describe the Sound as Hitchcockian?

Episode 1.7: The Girl Next Door. Original Airdate 11.9.04

"Veronica becomes suspicious when a young pregnant woman who lives in their apartment complex suddenly disappears; fearing the worst, Keith steps in to help his daughter investigate this case for the girl's estranged parents. Meanwhile, Logan and Weevil get thrown into detention together after arguing with a teacher, leading the rivals to discover some surprising things in common. Later, while working on an alumni photo project in her journalism class, Veronica is shocked to discover that her mother and Jake Kane were high-school sweethearts."

Daniel's Thoughts:

  • Oooh, we’re doing one of those _____ days/hours earlier tropes
  • One week earlier!
  • Hey! It’s Jessica Chastain! I love it.
  • That dog looks so sedated.
  • And right now he’s staring at the trainer. I love when dogs do this. You can so tell. Because dogs can’t act.
  • Logan is hilarious. It’s nice to have 30 year old writers with quick wit write for HS students.
  • Hey it’s General Redhead! (Bonita Friedericy from Chuck)

  • And Steven Williams! There are so many people in this episode. I love this guy. He’s one of those “that guy”s that you see everywhere. But I know him most from 21 Jump Street.
  • I mean Weevil’s tattoos are so expensive. I don’t remember anyone in HS having tattoos. Actually that’s not true. But they were more subtle. One girl had a vampire bite on her neck which I thought was totally cool.
  • (Keith) is so damn likeable and I expect him to be likeable in other things but mostly he plays a lot of assholes in other things.
  • I mean the King & Queen of the prom doesn’t necessarily mean they’re together.
  • I love Parker Abrams with facial hair. And he has such Peter Gallagher eyebrows.
  • So her neighbor’s dog is barking bloody murder but Back-Up is nowhere in sight.
  • Second clue that Duncan & Veronica may be siblings…
  • And that’s Weevil/Logan in a nutshell: Weevil: Blood and guts; Logan: Emotional torture. Together, they can do anything.
  • Logan: Never estimate the size of my cajones.
  • Hey! It’s Mac from General Hospital
  • Like how did they actual do this? Put a car through a pole? I don’t feel like it’s feasible.
  • My god, the blatant racism by these guys.
  • Wow, Logan using his prestige to get Weevil out of his expulsion – is this the beginning of a beautiful friendship?

  • Wow, Weevil went so far as to put a tattoo with Lilly’s name on his arm.
  • I mean, I can’t believe Jessica Chastain ran away and left her dog to fend for itself. Not cool, Chastain, not cool.
  • Aww, Uncle Mac is a rapist. And he’s been shot!

Zelda's Thoughts:

  • Oh, I'd forgotten this entire episode is a flashback, leaving us to wonder who's being carted off in a stretcher.
  • Why, it's Jessica Chastain, everybody! The fist time I saw this I was way more fixated on her boyfriend Parker Abrams because Buffy, but now it's like hi A-lister.
  • Logan's brought his A game to snarking, and I am enjoying it.
  • Y'all it's General Redhead from Chuck!  She's, wow, very different.
  • Miss Dent: "And please, keep her away from me." Veronica: *ignores when General Redhead once again corners Miss Dent to talk her ear off*
  • Wow, Logan, wow. You just got a 0 on your test and you continue to dig yourself in deeper, because you can't stand to not have the last word.
  • Weevil has amazing facial hair. He was cleanshaven two episodes ago; this episode he's got a healthy beard and stache. Daniel has informed me that this is indeed possible for certain men. Maybe not a lot of high school boys, but.
  • I mean, werewolves are also a thing. We had one last episode.
  • Parker Abrams looks good scruffy.
  • Hmmm I wonder if this episode is intended as an homage to Rear Window? Veronica hears Jessica Chastain cry out, and a thump of something - or someone - hitting the ground. Wait, it's entirely intentional. The very next scene, Keith calls Veronica's wonderings/the sound she heard as "Hitchcockian." Also that was so delightful that Daniel and I both laughed forever.
  • "The people that say high school years are the best years of your life are usually on the yearbook staff."
  • gasp Lianne and Jake were prom king and queen!
  • gasp! Felix confirmed that Weevil and Lilly hooked up!
  • Veronica: Did you know your dad and my mom were sweethearts? // Duncan: What? You're not my sister. This is totally not incest. What? 
  • Or is that just my interpretation of the text?
  • I will say, if Veronica actually thought Parker Abrams killed Jessica Chastain, wouldn't telling him that to his face while she thinks they're alone be kind of ... royally stupid? She's lucky he's just a laconic sardonic asshole. She didn't even bring Backup!
  • (speaking of, we've got the upstairs dog barking away)
  • wow. WOW. I just noticed that the dog is named Killer. Was On the Nose taken?
  • Man, why do Weevil and Logan have to take their anger at their teacher out on the books? The poor innocent books?
  • Logan: "Never underestimate the size of my cojones." AND THEN HE WINKS AT WEEVIL. I KNOW THE SLASHFIC EXISTS.

  • Man, that flagpole certainly is Weevil's chosen shaming ground. First naked Wallace, now teacherman's car.
  • I would like to know how they achieved that particular stunt.
  • Oh but look. Weevil and Logan have achieved a bit of not-quite-friendship. It was all about that wink. I guess we got over Logan's racist slurs.
  • And because Weevil didn't turn Logan in, Logan's confessed to Clemmons. And is using his dad's famous boots - which Clemmons was angling for - to get out of punishment for both of them. Using his privilege for good?
  • "You realize you're paranoid." // "I do. Everyone reminds me. But it doesn't mean I'm not right."
  • hahaha and then Weevil and his gang go make a mess of the store in order to get back Jessica Chastain's stolen journal from her "friend"
  • Weevil telling Logan his Lilly tattoo is for his little sister. I don't think he's afraid to - that's not his thing. I think he doesn't see the need to hurt Logan further on this, at least not at this time. They've brokered a peace for the moment. Telling the truth at this time wouldn't help, just cause further pain.
  • "A mans gotta be pretty committed to a woman to agree to raising another man's child." WHAT'S THAT, KEITH MARS? WHAT'S THAT? VERONICA MIGHT BE A KANE?
  • "Are some things better left buried?" An apt question on which to end the episode. 

Mr. Daniels: Mr. Navarro, I wonder if you'll find Mr. Echolls so amusing ten years from now.

Andre: That must have been when I cracked her head open with a candlestick and she crumpled to the ground. No wait, that was Professor Plum in the study.

Favorite Lines:
Daniel: It's just High School. What happens here doesn't mean anything -Veronica
Zelda: VP Clemmons: Mr. Echolls, I was wondering if I could have a word. Logan: Anthropomorphic. All yours, big guy. 

Neptune Roll Call: Logan, Mallory Dent, Weevil, Duncan (Absent: Wallace)
Recurring: Vice Principal Van Clemmons, Felix Toombs, Lilly Kane, Mrs. Murphy (first appearance, unnoted was in Pilot), Dick Casablancas, Veronica's "Office," Hector
Future Famous Person: Jessica Chastain, Bonita Friedericy, Steven Williams (past & future)
Buffy Alum: Parker Abrams (Adam Kaufman)


Dead Humans - 0
Backup Sighting - 0 
Veronica Breaks In - 1
Veronica Tases Someone - 0
Mac Hacks - 0
Wallace Does Veronica a Favor - 0
Weevil Does Veronica a Favor - 1
Veronica Wants a Pony - 1
Logan Punches Someone - 0
Dick's Single Entendres - 0
Shenanigans Called - 0

Tuesday, September 19, 2017

All Around Righteous Dude

Episode 1.6: Return of the Kane. Original Airdate 11.2.04

"The tension between the 09ers and non-09ers comes to a head when the school elections appear to be rigged. Veronica helps Wanda, the underdog, campaign to beat Duncan, despite her feelings for him. Meanwhile, Logan clashes with his father, movie star Aaron Echolls, when he is caught in the press engaging in unruly behavior."

Zelda's Thoughts:

  • Wow Logan rode a freaking scooter down to get the newspaper. What even.
  • Oh look you guys it's HARRY HAMLIN. I love Harry Hamlin but boy do I hate Aaron Echolls.
  • Ah we've been told Wallace's dad is dead. But we live in the future.
  • The Marses doing Marlowe 40s jargon, I love it all. "Didja put the screws to him?" // "He sang like a canary."
  • Keith: "Shouldn't we try something at the base of the food pyramid, you know, fruits or vegetables?" Veronica: 

  • "Why would he have wanted to kill you?" // "Honestly! I was awesome, right?"
  • Ugh I just. Duncan is such a bad actor and Logan is such a good actor, their scenes hurts sometimes.
  • And just when I was liking - well, I wasn't liking Logan, not yet - look, it's the episode where he's running a hobo boxing match. Fuck you, Logan.
  • Omg Aaron Echolls is Duncan Kane's celebrity endorsement, what GARBAGE. What self-aggrandizing garbage. They're succeeding in making me feel bad for Duncan.
  • Gasp! Lilly's shoes - the ones used to incriminate Abel Koontz - were photographed in her bedroom on the night of the murder. What does it meeeeeean.
  • Jane Lynch! Hi Jane Lynch! We like your game show. And you.
  • "And for what possible reason would you have my student ID memorized?" Oh Wallace, it's like you don't know Veronica at all!
  • OOOH DRAMATIC IRONY I SEE YOU. Flashback Veronica drew Duncan's name in a heart on Lilly's shoe. Lilly: "Oh yeah, now that's just creepy." Because incest, get it? Get it? INCEST AND DUNCAN. IT'S HIS FAVORITE PLOT.
  • Gasp they're calling Wanda a narc! What could it meeeeeeean?
  • Also, this rewatch was when I finally figured out why Logan stammers Wanda's name.
  • "Say it, Veronica. What's my usual way?" // "You. Stand. Idly. By."
  • Hint number two to Lilly/Weevil, courtesy of Wanda.
  • Aaron Echolls sits in the dark next to a framed photograph of himself, then walks in front of a framed magazine cover of him and Lynn. The entire house is a monument to his vanity.
  • It's horrific to see how small and young Logan instantly becomes when his father so much as touches him. More hints to Aaron's violent tendencies.
  • And then. And then. He volunteers his dad to donate half a million dollars to the food bank, in order to call him out on his hypocrisy of signing on for movies he thinks are shit because they pay well.
  • And then we see Logan picking out the belt for his dad to beat him with. While Lynn sits and drinks. This show. 

  • "There's a couple of suckers ... in the bag, if you want them." Oh Veronica snark.
  • And Duncan won the election. And Wanda's a narc. And Veronica didn't vote for her.
  • And Duncan gets some credit - pirate points, even - for expanding the qualifications for Pirate Points to include more than the preppy clique stuff.
  • Whoops Keith changed the combination on the safe. No more sneaky access to Lilly's file for Veronica.
  • But here we get to what I love about the Marses. Veronica realizing Keith is onto her makes her come clean - to end their "own game of spy vs spy" - and now the two of them are - finally - working together on the case.

Daniel's Thoughts:

  • Love meeting Logan’s parents. Lisa Rinna and Harry Hamlin are married in real life.
  • Pirate points. The whole idea is so dumb.
  • Where is Back-Up and why is he not begging for ice cream the way all dogs do.
  • Lily Kane is so cool. I would have loved to see a prequel about Lilly kinda like Fire Walk with Me was to Twin Peaks. (Also, Amanda Seyfried was just in the Twin Peaks revival)
  • Wanda Varner’s fashion choices, tho. Amazing.

  • Ugh, the things Logan does is so repulsive.
  • “All around Righteous Dude.” Omg.
  • Veronica votes for Wanda…as I would have. TBH, I don’t remember my school elections at all.
  • Man this show did class warfare so well.
  • Hey, it’s Jane Lynch! And she hasn’t changed in like twenty years.
  • She’s so good at being the mean teacher.
  • I love that Veronica has Wallace’s student ID number. Even though Wallace is a little freaked by it.
  • It’s actually pretty smart what the 09ers did. I definitely enjoyed my more artsy classes because of students who were in them.
  • Madison Sinclair looks a lot like Paris Hilton.
  • Duncan’s “usual way” as per Veronica: “Standing idly by”. He doesn’t initiation things, etc, but he stands by. That causes a lot of shit – people who just stand by and do nothing while evil is at large. A lot of that is happening now.
  • I think there’s exactly one hallway at Neptune High.
  • It’s nice, though, that Veronica has a flashback of Duncan not standing idly by. That at one point, he did make an effort to be a good person instead of just standing on the sidelines.
  • Aaron Echolls pumping his own gas? Golly. Love his car though.
  • “Dad told me on the way over that he’s donating half a million dollars to the Neptune food bank.” – Pretty underhanded, sure. But I mean, from a guy who just said he’s making 8 figures on his next film, half a mil isn’t terrible.
  • Yet watching Logan choose a belt for his father to beat him with…man, that’s hard to watch.
  • I mean the idea that Pirate points was only for sports, is kinda a problem with the faculty staff too.
  • Love seeing Mr. Kane looking at Duncan all proud.
  • But solving the case, Keith, is not just about you and your daughter and your respective happiness – it’s about getting justice for Lilly – who is the victim here. It’s about getting Abel Koontz off for a crime he didn’t commit.

Favorite Lines:

Daniel: Veronica: Why would he have wanted to kill you? Lilly: Honestly. I was awesome, right?


Neptune Roll Call:
Logan, Duncan, Wallace, Mallory Dent, Weevil
First Appearance: Lynn Echolls, Aaron Echolls, Madison Sinclair
Recurring: Jake Kane, Vice Principal Van Clemmons, Felix Toombs, Abel Koontz, Sheriff Don Lamb, Lilly Kane, Corny, Dick Casablancas, Deputy Jerry Sacks
Future Famous Person: Harry Hamlin (past), Lisa Rinna (past), Jane Lynch


Dead Humans - 0
Backup Sighting - 0
Veronica Breaks In - 0
Veronica Tases Someone - 0
Mac Hacks - 0
Who's Your Daddy? - 0
Wallace Does Veronica a Favor - 1
Veronica Wants a Pony - 0
Logan Punches Someone - 0
Logan Hires Someone to Punch Someone Else - 1
Dick's Single Entendres - 0
Shenanigans Called - 0
VERONICA WAS RIGHT - 1 (the election was fixed)
VERONICA WAS WRONG - 1 (Logan didn't start the narc rumor)

Tuesday, September 12, 2017

Dude, Where's Your Car?

Episode 1.5: You Think You Know Somebody. Original Airdate 10.26.04

"After a night in Tijuana, Troy finds himself in a tough situation when his car is stolen and turns to Veronica for help. But what she finds changes her relationship with him. Meanwhile, Keith and Rebecca begin dating against Veronica's wishes, and Veronica makes another shocking discovery about her mother."

Daniel's Thoughts:

  • Tijuana! Where in American TV, nothing good can happen. Kinda shitty, that.
  • Hey! Dude from Being Human! I know all three of these actors, so I can tell them apart, but they’re definitely a ‘type’. They all look similar. They all have that 90s/early 2000s hair.
  • Hey, Troy just came back from the bathroom looking very suspicious…. It’s something you might not notice on the first viewing.
  • “Dude where’s your car?” Awww, 2000s reference!
  • But I mean, Logan has no friends that he could have called? Veronica was their only hope?

  • Man, the banter between Veronica and Logan – so good; so flirty.
  • Wallace calls Veronica Velma, but Veronica prefers to be Daphne. I kinda agree with Wallace on this one. She’s definitely a Velma.
  • Back-Up! You know on TV when people come home and their dog doesn’t have to go outside immediately and pee? Yeah, so not realistic.
  • Miss James = Jenny Calendar light?
  •  I love that there’s just a random safety deposit box key in the one box of her mom’s things. How convenient...  And how did Keith not catch that when he was filling the box with things?  So I'm calling my first Shenanigan of the series.  Now it's possible that Keith just didn't want to use it since he's said in the past that he doesn't want to investigate Lianne - but he certainly would have hidden it from Veronica, because he doesn't want her to investigate either.
  • Hey, contract character Ms. Dent has one line in this episode….(she has more later)
  • Oh crap. I forgot about this part of the mystery – photos of Veronica with bullseyes on them. That’s freaking scary.
  • I’m wondering how Veronica can afford this car….but I’m sure she has her wily ways.
  • The things guys will do for a pretty girl – I’m kinda glad Veronica takes advantage of this. It’s only fair.
  • Luke doing the Ferris Bueller run through the backyards.
  • It’s nice when Veronica looks happy. It won’t last.
  • Oh right, this is the first clue to the part of the mystery where Veronica and Duncan might or might not be siblings. They’re really good at laying down these subtle clues.
  • I love when we see Keith doing his under cover thing. Because you can see where Veronica gets it from.
  • Oh HS, where ending a three week relationship is the scariest thing.
  • “Poor Miss Dent” – Agreed, Veronica. Such a pointless character.
  • I don’t like when the Mars’ fight,  but I’m glad they do since it makes it more realistic.
  • 2003 – GPS at its earliest.
  • Troy is so lying but at this point, we want to believe him. He’s one of those guys are too good to be true.
  • I love that she took Back-Up to her meeting with the bodybuilder.
  • “Remember this moment. Because you’re gonna regret it!” – Love you, VM.

  • All that investigating and she still has time to make a cake for her dad. Awww.
  • OK, so Troy kinda planned this the whole time, and I guess that kinda makes sense in regards to how this episode is structured. He used Veronica for her PI skills – but did he seek her out from the very beginning for that purpose? That part is unclear.
  • But Veronica of course got the jump on him…and that’s why we love this show.

Zelda's Thoughts:

  • I remember watching this episode for the first time and realizing how much I couldn't tell the boys apart. When Luke (aka Josh the werewolf from Being Human!) showed up in the opening Tijuana scene, I thought it was Duncan or Logan. Ah, youth. (basically, it wasn't clear to me that this was a new character)
  • Ah but there's Logan and there's Troy. So then I thought it was Duncan. Which is how unmemorable Duncan's face is, I guess? Sorry Teddy.
  • Okay so back to the episode. Here we are at border control.
  • Maybe the source of my confusion was also knowing that Troy was more friends with Duncan than with Logan.
  • Logan, making a musical reference (Brigadoon). I love me some musical references.
  • Topical reference no longer topical! "Dude, where's your car?"
  • "Does this mean you're gonna play nice now?" // "Walk in front of the car. We'll see. *revs engine*"

  • Mars banter is my favorite banter. "And now, your birthday will be spent skydiving. Alone."
  • Keith wants to put Lianne's stuff in storage. CUZ HE'S DATING VERONICA'S GUIDANCE COUNSELOR
  • Gasp! V found a mysterious safety deposit box key in her mom's things!
  • "I don't help dealers find their lost products." Yeah, werewolf, even a junior PI has standards.
  • Man, I'd forgotten about the stalker photos with V in the crosshairs. That had to have been so scary for Lianne.
  • Man, why does Luke play baseball? He should clearly be on the track team, doing vaulting. This chase scene is quite impressive.
Cue: The English Beat - March Of the Swivel Heads

  • Listen, Veronica, I totally get your being upset that your dad is dating. However, it is fairly shitty to be passive aggressive and surly to Rebecca James after you said - to both your dad's face and to Rebecca's - that this was fine. Use your words, stop punishing. I likes the Marses better when they communicate.
  • God this is heartbreaking. Veronica mailing out burner phones to everyone she can think of, in hopes that her mom will call her. "It's my version of a message in a bottle."
  • "I'll be nice to your boyfriend if you'll be nice to my girlfriend." Touche, Keith Mars.
  • Oh come ON, Miss Dent. Veronica gets in trouble for her rude question, but Ashley doesn't? Her question was just as cruel.
  • Veronica, who can't help herself: doing a background check on Miss James and bringing it to her dad. "Did you know she was still married?" // "I did. I'm still married, Veronica."
  • "Protect me? I'm an ADULT, Veronica." I love Enrico Colantoni.
  • "You can find anybody. If [Lianne] were a criminal, you'd make a couple grand tracking her down and you'd have her back in a week!" I also love Kristen Bell. Her fragility breaking through the tough exterior.
  • This show is just so well done.
  • And Keith's got an envelope on Troy for Veronica. "You can open it, you can throw it out. It's your choice."
  • Fuck, and then he breaks up with Rebecca. Because Veronica is the most important thing to him.
  • gasp Troy is the bad guy! He stole the 'roids and faked his car theft.
  • Luckily, our Veronica is a smart cookie and replaced his stolen drugs with taffy.
  • AND she gave Zigman's name and photo to border patrol, so he gets his too.
  • AND Lianne called Veronica and she missed the call WHY IS THIS SHOW SO CRUEL.

Favorite Lines:

Daniel: The best way to dull the pain of your best friend's murder is to have your mother abandon you as soon as possible. It's like hitting your thumb with a hammer, then when it's throbbing so badly you don't think you'll survive, you cut the damn thing off.


Neptune Roll Call: Logan, Wallace, Mallory Dent, Weevil (Absent: Duncan)
First Appearance: Luke Halderman
Recurring: Troy Vandergraff, Rebecca James, Lianne Mars, Veronica's "Office"
Future Famous Person: Sam Huntington
Veronica's Alias: personal assistant to Lawrence Vandergraff
Keith's Alias: James Anderson, head of security to L.T. Vandegraff


Dead Humans - 0
Backup Sighting - 1
Veronica Breaks In - 0
Veronica Tases Someone - 0
Mac Hacks - 0
Who's Your Daddy? - 0
Wallace Does Veronica a Favor - 0
Veronica Wants a Pony - 0
Logan Punches Someone - 0
Dick's Single Entendres - 0
Shenanigans Called - 1

Tuesday, September 5, 2017

I Don't Feel So Good, Papa Bear

Episode 1.4: The Wrath of Con. Original Airdate 10.19.04

"In an attempt to help out Wallace win over a potential girlfriend, Veronica takes on the case of tracking down an Internet fraud ring, which leads her to an underground gaming community. Meanwhile, Logan agrees to assemble a video of Lilly to mark the one-year anniversary of her death, and Troy becomes closer to Veronica."

Zelda's Thoughts:

  • God I love the Marses. Veronica comes inside after making out with Troy. "So what did you think of him?" Keith, sitting and reading by the lamp, "Oh hey, honey, you're home early."
  • "He's taking up a lot of Daddy-Daughter Time." snort 
  • Aw Wallace has a crush. You can tell because he doesn't even seem bothered that she just undid all his Office Aide work.
  • Troy: "I give good parent." CUE SONG FROM CRAZY EX-GIRLFRIEND 
  • Props to them giving Celeste Kane her hair from the Pilot for the flashbackaw, they're so innocent and sweet (except Lilly, who has never projected innocence) in their Homecoming flashback
  • I feel like Jimmy/Karl was a reject from the Leo auditions, but maybe it's just his poor man's Max Greenfield vibe.
  • Aw she looks so cute in her Gamergirl disguise! Though I have to say, I'm getting flashbacks of another petite blonde in a black pageboy wig. 

Men!  With your sales!
  • This is the second time (first time was the Pilot) that Logan's brought up his dad and his punitiveness. Planting them seeds early  ...
  • "What part of my ignoring you makes you think you're welcome?" props for Logan's use of proper grammar while sassing.
  • The Homecoming flashbacks are pretty incredible, really. It's the highest concentration we've gotten of Lilly so far, and it makes it clear not only how undeniably charismatic she was, but also how much she held everyone together - look at the three survivors of that friendship now, and they can barely hold a conversation. But when she's there, everything's more fun, everything's more memorable, everything's worth holding onto.
  • Troy's face when Keith says he cancelled Troy's hotel reservation - he's realizing just how formidable it is to date the daughter of a Private Detective slash former Sheriff. 

  • And I like that those memories are what begins the rebridging between Veronica and Logan - remembering what they loved about Lilly, and what it was like to have her around. So she shares with Logan the video footage she has, so he's not just stuck with the Celeste-approved videos.
  • I notice Logan's parents aren't there when the limo crew gets busted by the parents Kane and Sheriff Mars (no Leanne either).
  • Another A+ performance from Kyle Secor, watching the montage Logan put together.

  • (also, I see you show, showing that Weevil is crying at the video of Lilly. I SEE YOU PLANTING THINGS)

Daniel's Thoughts:

  • The Veronica/Keith banter. I love it so much.  They have such a good relationship….except for all the secrets.
  • Aww, she has a little ceramic Back-Up.  But where is Back-Up?

  • Aww, Wallace’s friend fell for a scam email.   It’s 2004 where all of this is relatively new.
  • I love when Veronica does her little aliases.  “Amber” is totally the best.
  • Whenever I watch VM, the theme song gets stuck in my head for days.  Now that we’re doing the recaps, it’s going to be in my head for years.
  • Wow, Celeste Kane with long hair.
  • Veronica’s flashback homecoming dress is so plain.
  • Wow, Veronica curled her hair just for one afternoon.
  • Omg, this actor is so stupid, I love it. (The actor who’s a character, not the actor himself).  “Duped!” 
  • LOL, Backstage West.  Nice plug for that awful rag.
  • Omg, Gamer Girl Veronica. I want to see the closet/wardrobe she has full of extensive wigs and disguises.
  • Aww, when we had actual physical pictures instead of just everything on our phones.  I mean it’s only been 13 years since this aired.  Things change fast.
  • “I don’t feel so good, papa bear!”
  • Man, Veronica’s hair has changed so much in this episode.   
  • I absolutely love they used a clip of Amanda Seyfried as a child singing, and you can tell it’s her because of those huge Disney eyes that she’s apparently always had.
Those Disney Princess Eyes

  • Yay! Back-up!  (Recast!)
  • That’s a pretty sweet dorm room – they have an extra room.
  • I’m not 100 percent confident in calling a shenanigan, but knowing a keycode based on sound isn’t feasible. I’m pretty sure all ten numbers don’t have a different tone…or at least not discernable to the human ear.  Of course, I don’t have anything to test it with.
  • Keith using his detective skills to be a protective dad is both cool and a little bit scary.  I mean, trust your daughter, Keith.
  • Oh man, her delivery is just so good.
  • Wallace has a girlfriend!   ….And that’s the last we’ll see of her.
  • Lilly Kane is so cool.
  • Oh no, Neptune High’s instrumental version of “Wind Beneath my Wings”  Oy.
  • All the teenage boys in this show have the same hairdo.
  • Lilly Kane, a recurring dead character is in more episodes than some of the regulars.  But there’s a reason for that. Amanda is so captivating.
  • Uh oh…what’s Weevil’s connection to Lilly??

Favorite Lines:
Zelda: "Wow. I can't believe there's no party. I feel so duped." - Wallace, snarking the con artists
Daniel: "Oh, hey, I forgot to tell ya.  If he's gonna be kissing my daughter on my porch for eight and a half minutes, I'll need to meet him.  Sweet dreams, honey!" - Keith Mars 

Neptune Roll Call: Wallace, Logan, Duncan, Weevil (but he skipped most of the day) (Absent: Mallory Dent)
First Appearance: Lilly's fountain
Recurring: Troy Vandergraff, Lilly Kane, Veronica's "Office," Celeste Kane, Jake Kane, Felix Toombs
Future Famous Person: Adam Wylie (ish? he's at least a Hey! It's That Guy)
Veronica's Alias: Amber, Gamergirl, prospective freshman/"nerd hag" (with Wallace)
Keith's Alias: DEA Agent, Bill Smith (Admissions)

Dead Humans - 0
Backup Sighting - 1
Veronica Breaks In - 3
Veronica Tases Someone - 0
Mac Hacks - 0
Who's Your Daddy? - 0
Wallace Does Veronica a Favor - 0
Veronica Wants a Pony - 0
Logan Punches Someone - 0
Dick's Single Entendres - 0
Shenanigans Called - 0

Tuesday, August 29, 2017

That's Actually Old Testament

Episode 1.3: Meet John Smith. Original Airdate 10.12.04

"Veronica tries to help a classmate track down his long lost father, but with very little to go on, she finds the task more daunting than she thought. Meanwhile, Keith meets with school guidance counselor Rebecca James to discuss Veronica's feelings about Lilly's murder."

Daniel's Thoughts:

  • So we start with a group of nerds.
  • Even though Troy turns out to be an (evil reveal), I kinda dig him at this point.  Anyone who can match wits with Veronica is ok with me.
  • “I’m gonna go to the library.”  - Really?  Neptune’s library is open this late?  I know it’s an excuse, but it’s not a viable one.
  • Mrs. Kane chopped her hair off. I like it.
  • Hey Melissa Leo!
  • “I hate it when they talk.”  Wow, Logan. 
  • Aww, Keith meets Wallace.
  • “Wallace is a friend of mine.  Take that, high school Guidance Counselor.”
  • Veronica’s administrative file.  I’d love to see this. 
  • Oh man, burning CDs.  Wallace, “He brought you a mix tape!”  I love it.
  • Veronica totally regrets not kissing the Ashmore.
  • Hey what a coincidence that Justin would get this letter at the same time Veronica is confronting him about lying. 
  • “The hero is the one that stays.  And the Villain is the one that splits."  So wise. I love that sentiment. And I love how pointedly she says it.
  • OMG, all the cool boys are sitting on the bleachers. Last episode was West Side Story; this episode is Grease.
  • HAha, Duncan feels it, singing, “Summer Lovin’” ….badly.
  • I really like the casting of  Kyle Secor as Jake Kane.  He doesn’t look like your typical rich guy – but weirdly enough, he does look like an aged rich teenager….if that makes any sense at all. Like Logan with Grey hair?

  • Veronica!  Get  Bluetooth!  Stop driving while on your cell!
  • Lilly hallucination (dream)! Amanda Seyfried is so good in this

  • I mean kudos to Veronica Mars for having a trans character and not treating it as a joke…Of course they could have gotten a real trans actress.  But again, 2003.  It’s pretty awesome for that time.
  • Aww, Keith flirting is adorable.  Even though he totally used his detective skills to find out what coffee shop she goes to.
  • Veronica is so damn vulnerable when it comes to her mom.  But I mean, again, I hate to hammer this point – but that’s what makes this show so enjoyable.  Veronica is such a well rounded character.

Zelda's Thoughts:

  • Is he Scott Bakula's son?

it's the eyebrows

  • Aw Troy is kind of charming. Too bad he turns out to be a toxic dumpster fire
  • "I'm old school. An eye for an eye." // "I think that's actually Old Testament." I love the Marses (although google tells me it's actually that kooky Babylonian, Hammurabi)
  • So Duncan's life sucks. Veronica and her Dad may not be seeing eye to eye, but at least they both know how much they love each other. There's no evidence of any kind of love in what's left of the Kane family.
Kanes at supper. Very American Beauty.

  • Also wow Celeste got a haircut since the Pilot.
  • Duncan's flushing his antidepressants down the sink. I wonder if the writers were trying to explain the actor's lack of emoting with the antidepressants. I mean, it is also completely sense-making that he'd be on them, with everything that's happened.
  • Wow though, Veronica kicking a doorstop under the door to keep girls out of the bathroom is colllllld.
  • gasp! Justin's dad is dead! he's hoodwinking Veronica! (except we know the future and he's wrong)
  • "Wallace is a friend of mine. Take that, high school guidance counselor."

  • "Part of me is proud, and ... let's just leave it at that."
  • Wallace's face, figuring out the kid has a crush on Veronica. Delightful
  • lotta Duncan/Veronica fantasizing about each other this episode. Very Bangel, much "Amends."
  • welp, this Justin kid is an even worse actor than Duncan. "It's from my father," but with less inflection than my typing indicates.
  • man, Keith's face when Veronica's saying the kid is better off without knowing the parent who abandoned him. I see what you're doing, show.
  • "The hero is the one that stays, and the villain is the one that splits." // "I don't think that's a healthy perspective."
  • Oh Duncan, you poor broken child, stop jumping off bleachers because your ex-girlfriend slash maybe spoiler is kissing someone.
  • I actually think Kyle Secor, who plays Jake Kane, is pretty terrific at getting the nuances of the character, the conflict, the things he can't say. The man is full of subtext.
  • I like that the show isn't making light of going off meds, while also not condemning taking or not taking meds.
  • Veronica: "Try not to look conspicuous." // Justin: *leaves car, crosses traffic and confronts his maybe-dad*
  • Many props to the show for bucking the toxic Hollywood trend, by actually casting a woman to play a trans woman, instead of a cis man in drag. It's not quite as good as casting a trans actress, but it's significantly better than casting a man in the role.
  • "Ninety miles." // "What's ninety miles?" // "It's the distance your dad travels every week to see you for a few seconds."
  • And Duncan chooses the "haze" of taking his antidepressants over the anguish of feeling his grief at losing Veronica, at losing Lilly. And you know what? That's fair. He's not ready yet.

Favorite Lines:
Daniel: The hero is the one that stays.  And the Villain is the one that splits. - Veronica
Zelda: Keith: So how did she rope you into this? // Wallace: She promised me all the answer keys to - she's promised to be my friend.


  • Neptune Roll Call: Duncan, Logan, Wallace (Absent: Weevil, Mallory Dent)
  • First Appearance: Rebecca James
  • Recurring: Troy Vandergraff, Jake Kane, Celeste Kane, Veronica's "Office," Dick Casablancas, Lilly Kane
  • Future Famous Person: Melissa Leo
  • Logan's Nicknames: Nowhere Man/Fool on the Hill (both Duncan)


Dead Humans - 0
Backup Sighting - 0
Veronica Breaks In - 0
"Hey, would you do me a favor?"
Veronica Tases Someone -  0
Mac Hacks - 0
Who's Your Daddy? - 0
Wallace Does Veronica a Favor - 2
Veronica Wants a Pony - 0
Logan Punches Someone - 0
Dick's Single Entendres - 0
Shenanigans Called - 0