PLEASE NOTE: THIS IS A SPOILER-RICH ZONE

PLEASE NOTE: THIS IS A SPOILER-RICH ZONE. If your diet requires you to dine on Buffy Spoiler-free ... good luck with that.

Tuesday, February 25, 2014

Yummy Sushi Pajamas

Episode 4.14: Goodbye Iowa. Original Airdate 2.15.00


"Tension erupts between Buffy and an ailing Riley as they pursue Professor Maggie Walsh's killer."






Zelda's Thoughts:
  • "It's raining monsters." // "Hallelujah."
  • mmmmm this episode, tone-wise, is already more satisfying than last episode. The sense of doom and fear of all the Scoobies, not knowing why they're suddenly in danger, but feeling it very keenly. Things are very wrong, and we've finally met our official Big Bad. Fucking Adam.
  • "What, it was good enough for me, but you're above it all?" // "Precisely."
  • Ooops. Riley finally recognized Spike.
  • "But he's not bad anymore." // "Hey!"
  • Yay Spike giving the thumbs up! One of my favorite gifs.

  • Ugh this episode is gooooood. Such good fighting they have. Such well-made arguments.
  • Except then there's Fucking Adam and it's less good.
  • "What am I?" // "You're a monster." Though I do like his small moment of disappointment. "I thought so."
  • It's the oboe of Sad Riley.
  • It's actually really cute, Buffy and Anya and Willow all snuggled up in bed.
  • "Scenes from my parents' marriage." Way to pull the divorce card, Summers.
  • Aw Xander brought the girls breakfast in bed. Also news of a dead boy. Typically Sunnydale breakfast talk.
  • This fight between Riley and Forrest, though, is far less compelling than the group fight earlier. Mostly because weaker acting.
  • Come now, Forrest. Buffy doesn't stake humans. He really doesn't know what a Slayer is, either.
  • Angelman keeps talking about orders from Washington. Do we think DC knew about the Fucking Adam Project, or that they were turning a blind eye, or maybe Walsh and Angelman were just plotting alone?
  • Parking lot graveyard! Do a shot!
  • Also, swarming on the graveyards with military hummers? Super not covert.
  • I'm actually very impressed Spike found a crypt with working electricity.
  • Aw man, first Spike loses his groceries, then the rest of his cash, then Forrest breaks his TV. What's an evil demon to do?
  • "Maggie's dead. Happy now?" Fuck you, Riley.
  • "And then you can stop asking me how happy all this death makes me." Yeah! Fuck you, Riley.
  • SPELLS EQUAL LESBIAN LOVE. WE SEE THROUGH YOU, SHOW.
  • Aw Willy! We've missed you.
  • Hi Riley. You're looking all feverish and confused.
  • God, Riley, you're such a racist.
  • Hey now. Do not be manhandling our Slayer!
  • "Hey, we got new rules here. No killing."
  •  I've always wondered if that random woman Riley pulled a gun on was human or demon. If human, why was she in the place in the middle of the afternoon, anyway?
  • heh Riley is too tall to lie stretched out on the bed. He must go fetal because he is 8 feet tall.
  • I really love that they planted this early on - Tara's fear that she's secretly a demon - and don't even pay off on it til next season. Respect.
  • Buffy's wearing disguise glasses. Maybe she'll clean them!
  • "I totally get it now. Can I have sex with Riley too?" an appropriate callback to all the double entendre happening last episode.
  • Why are they talking so loudly if they want Riley to sleep? Blankets are not actually soundproof walling material.
  • MB, not with the great acting.
  • ALSO DON'T PUSH OUR WILLOW WHAT THE FUCK RILEY.
  • In case we didn't hate Maggie enough before, she's also been drugging all our soldier boys. Fucking Maggie Walsh.
  • Wait, getting their meds through their food? Shenanigans! Those boys ate in the dining hall, and they weren't drugging the entire campus. This just seems like a stupid mistake in writing, since we already saw Riley taking his vitametavegamin pills.
  • Stockade? Really?
  • "I feel an attack of dumb blonde coming on." I loves ya, Buffy.
  • Riley *said* "brilliant woman," but I *heard* "burmy woman." I made Daniel rewind the dvd. 
  • It occurs to me rewind is now an obsolete term. There's nothing being wound, one way or another. What should we say instead? Reverse thrusters!
  • omg the floppy disc drive in Fucking Adam's chest. ... which can apparently hold multiple discs in the same drive, as he never removes his before putting in Riley's disc. Shall we shenanigan that?
  • "Oh, Mother created you too." Ugh they're both bad. "Maggie is not my mother. I have a mother." It's bad dialogue, but it's also bad delivery.
  • "I cannot be programmed. I'm a man." it's so baaaaaaaaaaaad [A salesman - CowboyRiley]
  • Aw the demons all hate Spike now. Poor Spike. He has no friends, no family, no hope. Take that away and what's left?
  • "There's gotta be a flaw." // "I think the part where he's pure evil and kills randomly was an oversight."
  • Buffy: "He's alone. He has nothing to hold on to." //Daniel: (whispers) "Goodbye Iowa" (30 sec later, delighted) "Yay, Riley with his shirt off."

Daniel's Thoughts:
  • And we start right where we left off from last week.
  • Spike has a cousin?  That’s still alive?  A vamp cousin?  I mean isn’t that something that should be more than a throw-away line?
  • Oh, is that why they call it the secret service, Xander? Also, shut up, Xander.
  • Please note that Anya’s only line in that scene was helpful and not at all snarky.  That is all.  Actually…it seems like they just wanted her to say something pre-credits.  I’ll take it.
  • Giles’ digs at Spike are amazing.”Oh, it’s good enough for me, but you’re above it?”//”Precisely”
  • “He’s not bad anymore.”  Really?  I mean, just because he can’t physically attack someone, doesn’t mean he’s not still evil. [My point exactly. - Spike]
  • Yes, Spike – go out into the sunlight with only your jacket to cover you.  The contrivance fairy will figure out a way to get you home safe.
  • I mean it really sucks for Riley.  Learning that the organization you’ve been working for/with for years – an organization that you think has been doing good – is really evil.  RILEY IS SYDNEY BRISTOW.
Basically the same person
  • And now the Frankenstein comparisons start – beginning with dead kid.  Except, Adam is seemingly intelligent.
  • Why didn’t they go to Anya’s apartment/house/wherever-the-hell-she-lives?
  • “You really should get yourself a boring boyfriend, like Xander.  But you cant have Xander.” Heh.
  • The cartoon channel turned into a the channel that interrupts your broadcast because a little kid was skewered?  Awkward!
  • I’m glad the gang is at least all together…even if it is in Xander’s basement.
  • I love Riley’s balls poster.  It makes me laugh every time. [Me too. We're 12. - Z]
  • Shut up, Forrest.  "Maybe Buffy needed killing?"  What a dick.
  • Really Forrest? Only one person can stake someone?  Buffy is the only one in the world who can use a piece of wood as a weapon? Seriously, shut up Forrest.
  • So is Riley in charge now?  Does Maggie have a second? What’s the chain of command here?
  • Quick! Soldier boys! Attack the parking lot!
  • You interrupted Spike watching Passions!
  • Oh hey! A location shot!  An actual non-set side-of-the-road shot!
  • “Maggie’s dead.  Happy now?”  Really Riley? This is the first time we’ve seen him be a total dick. I don’t like it.  I mean I know he’s all confused and shattered and sad and all that stuff – but come on.
  • So why is Willow allowed to leave the basement? Is it suddenly safe now?
  • Does that whistle that happens when Willy pronounces an S an actor thing or does he do that on purpose? Inquiring minds.
  • Ah, I see. He’s acting like a dick because he’s not taking his meds…
  • That old lady demon(?) looks like Frances McDormand
Right??
  • Aww, Riley!
  • Again with Xander’s soldier knowledge helping…it was one night.
  • There are so many demons in Sunnydale, what makes Willow think this will narrow it down?  Does she know which color belongs to which breed?
  • So Tara blows this spell on purpose.  It appears here that she does it so that she can spend more time with Willow…but I love how this seemingly harmless act comes full circle a year from now in the season 5 episode, “Family”.
  • Did Buffy think that putting her hair in a ponytail and wearing glasses would be enough a disguise?
  • Oh Xander – finding any excuse to try to make out with Buffy. YOU HAVE A HOT ANYA AT HOME, XANDER.
  • Way to completely explain exactly what Buffy was looking for right in front of Buffy, Dr. Angle.
  • Really?  Professor Walsh made him with a floppy disc drive?  When’s he up for an upgrade?  Apple needs to get on this right away.
  • Wait! He didn’t eject the other disc before putting this one in!  System reboot! System reboot! 
  • Does Adam remind anyone else of that demon in the internet from season 1?
  • Forrest has such smooth skin.  Yeah, that’s all I’m writing about this bit.
  • That demon looks like a gremlin! It’s a gremlin man!  And he’s wearing leather pants.  Were leather pants really that much of a thing in California in the late 90s/early 2000s? Everyone seems to be wearing them.
  • It’s also long skirt season.  This was such a style at the time.


Crossfire!
D: (Starting the episode) "Goodbye Iowa. Aw, Riley."
Z: "Whatever."

Willow: I really like just talking and hanging out with you and stuff.
D & Z look at each other, roll eyes.
Z: And STUFF.
D: Have they...stuffed yet?

  • We can't transcribe it, but we just had a big fight about whether Riley is good in this episode or not.

Favorite Lines:

Zelda: "Maggie tried to kill me." // "It didn't work, but they're all upset anyway." - Buffy/Anya
Daniel: "You really should get yourself a boring boyfriend like Xander.  You can't have Xander." -Anya


Arc/Continuity Stuff:
  • Recurring: Anya, Adam, Forrest, Graham, Angelman, Tara, Willy the Snitch
  • We call yet again on Xander's dubious military memories. Even though it's not like he was in the 'Nam.
  • Tara sabotages the demon-finding spell. FOR REASONS WE WON'T FIND OUT TIL NEXT SEASON.

Stats:

Anya's Hair - short, honey-colored
Dead Humans - 3
Dead Undeads - 0
Giles Unconscious - 0
Giles Cleans His Glasses - 0
Buffy Breaks a Door - 0
Forrest Breaks a TV - 1
Evil Reveal - 0
Unevil Reveal - 0
Shenanigans Called - 2
Apocalypse Called - 0

Wednesday, February 19, 2014

Irony's Kind of Ironic That Way



Episode 4.13: The I in Team. Original Airdate 2.8.00




"Buffy joins the Initiative, but her self-reliant and curious attitude doesn't mesh well with the military's chain of command."




Daniel's Thoughts:

  • Anya is so cute :)  She plays cards like a ten year old.  Side story…I used to win against my grandma all the time because I could read the cards in her glasses.  It was all very innocent – I had no idea I was cheating.
  • Anya: "Yes we’ve enjoyed spanking."  HEE
  • This is my favorite – where Buffy proves just how amazing she really is, taking out like 30 initiative guys
  • And she’s so modest about it, too.
  • At this point Riley is so proud of her – let’s hope that lasts and he doesn’t suddenly feel threatened. 
  • Willow needs to get over this anti-Anya thing, STAT.  It's part of what makes me really start to dislike her in the later seasons.
  • Oh hey! It’s Giles and Spike!  Neither have anything to do, so let’s put them together.
  • Where is Giles getting this money to pay Spike?  He doesn’t have a job.  Is the Watcher’s council giving him severance?
  • They’re called Scoobies, Spike, not Slayerettes. 
  • Buffy and Riley would produce beautiful babies
  • Oh Maggie Walsh – I feel like she gets more praise than she deserves.  She’s kind of bland, I think.
  • I forgot how funny this episode is – it’s got a lot of cute zingers.
  • A pager? Really?  I mean…I guess doctors still use them – but wouldn’t a cell be better?  I mean the 90s are over.
  • Tara’s so sweet.  She’s flirting so dorkily.  And Willow…she’s just not there yet.
  • Is this the first time we see Anya really getting excited about money? I think it is.  I mean how has she been living thus far?  We still have no idea where she lives – how she lives and eats and buys things and all that lovely stuff.
  • Anya’s so uncomfortable.  Don’t worry, An, you’re an ex-demon.  They go for current demons.
  • Hey! All the beeping!  That must get annoying when the boys go to the movies.
  • Hehe, Buffy is so damn cute.
  • “Don’t worry. I’ve patrolled in this halter many times.”  Yep – and leather pants.  If Buffy can fight demons in leather pants, she can fight them in anything.
  • Of course Tara is extremely happy to have you come over, Willow – even if you kind of blew her off earlier.
  • Heh  - Spike was grocery shopping.  What could he have to buy?
  • Fighting leads to Sex.  Yeah – it’s like Faith said that one time, “Isn’t it crazy how slaying makes you hungry and horny?”  
  • So this is the first time Buffy’s going to have sex without someone losing his soul or just becoming a total asshole.  Good for her.
  • Gross, Walsh – watching Buffy & Riley have sex.  Tsk.
  • Ha! Stupid Spike.  I love that Giles gets the upper hand here.  And his cash back.
  • Oh Riley – ignorance is bliss.
  • Oh Riley, don’t put that shirt back on.
  • It’s amazing how many times Xander’s soldier knowledge from Halloween has come back to help the Scoobies.  I wonder how much knowledge Buffy still has of 18th century girly stuff and if that ever helped her....in history class?
  • Walsh should really know better than that – I mean she knows how tough Buffy is.  Did she really think a couple of demons would stop her?
  • I don’t know if I love this “two completely separate stories” thing.  I mean I suppose they both have to do with the initiative.  It worked so well in Anne.  But that’s because Buffy wasn’t even in the same town.  I hate that she hasn’t even had a scene with Giles at all.  I think that’s one of the downfalls of the season – that the gang really had a lot of their own things going on. [But isn't that the point of the season? That they drift apart? - Z]
  • Love when Buffy gets in vengeance mode.
  • Goodbye, Maggie Walsh.  It’s a shame that Buffy couldn’t do it.  But she can’t kill humans…
  • I just don’t get why Adam did.  

Zelda's Thoughts:

  • Willow cheats at poker. She should teach her tricks to Spike.
  • Xander teaching Anya that chips = money = good. Anya's love of capitalism begins!
  • "I think Riley's okay in an oafish kind of way." I think that is the most positively Xander has ever spoken of a Buffy love interest.
  • Professor Walsh and your shady shady glares. You're gonna die soon and you won't be missed. However, the intended arc you embodied will be. Fucking Adam.
  • Willow still doesn't like Anya, even though she seemed to be getting along with her fine during the poker game. Sigh.
  • D'awww Spike has a home. With so much natural light WHAT IS WRONG WITH SUNNYDALE VAMPIRES AND THEIR LACK OF SELF-PRESERVATION.
  • So if Spike gets to charge for helping Giles out of the evilness of his heart, and Cordy and Angel are trying to charge for saving lives in LA, how come Buffy STILL doesn't get a stipend from The Council? Freaking shenanigans. All my favorite fanfics involve Buffy finally getting paid for what she does.
  • It's interesting that Giles is trying to feel Spike out for whether he wants to join the good fight, especially considering how little he trusts him with anything in later seasons.
  • Buffy looks especially pretty this episode. Weird skirt, but great hair/makeup.
  • Ohhhhh the double entendres of the Initiative/Riley's penis.
  • God Riley is so much taller than Buffy. Every time they go for a kiss, I wince for both of their necks.
  • I think I can pretty firmly point to here as when my disappointment with the season began. I'm just so underwhelmed by everything going on right now.
  • "But I'm certain in time you'll pick that up. Don't pick that up." It's stupid but I still love that line.
  • Man, Walsh needs to really stop talking to Buffy like she's a foolish child. You'd think she'd have gained some more respect by this point, after the run down Buffy gave her of her experience, and Buffy's demonstration the night before. It's just stupid.
  • Ugh Tara's stutter. My least favorite recurring character is Tara's stutter.
  • Also Tara's unflattering wardrobe. Amber Benson is a beautiful woman and I feel like they're trying to hide that for arbitrary reasons.
  • Willow, your sweater is grey! You are kind to me! ... Your skirt is still pink. Never mind.
  • Fucking Adam. Fucking horrible Adam. I hate you.
  • "Living the Life of Riley." I see what you did there.
  • "This is Graham, that's Forrest, and Extra and Other Extra in the back."
  • Aw Willow. "I could have invited somebody else if I knew it was an open free-for-all."
  • I really really wish I liked AB better because the Willow/Tara relationship is very sweet and yay.
  • Willow's asking some good questions about The Initiative's endgame. Listen to the voice of bad sweaters, Buffy.
  • "It's imperative, when ensnaring it, not to damage its arms." BECAUSE WE HAVE EVIL PLANS. PLANS OF EVILNESS.
  • Ugh.
  • See, but this scene is a good example of where I thought the season was going. The military cut and dry presentation, and Buffy asking questions, not following protocol of briefing structure, trying to figure out motivation, and her general casual interactions.
  • Tara has a single? Swank. Can I be Tara's girlfriend too? I bet her room is even bigger than Willow's and Buffy's double, because why not.
  • Seriously, they shoulda had a boot camp for the actors playing Initiative soldiers. They're all just strolling or standing around, and it doesn't feel military at all.
  • Aw Spike lost his groceries. Stupid soldiers. Wait, what are my priorities again?
  • Aaaaaaaaand now it's time for the weirdest sequence ever. Slow mo fighting intercut with Buffy Riley sexytimes. What's their ship name? Biley? Ruffy? I hate both of those.
  • And to add ew on top of ew, Maggie Walsh is watching the entire fucking thing on spy cameras. You are a gross person, Maggie Walsh.
  • Giles's face when he eats the bar. "Please leave my home now." And then he looks for a place to spit it out.
  • "And no cheek from you." Giles zips his lips shut. Giiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiles I love you.
  • Giles and Spike, buddy cop show. They have such good chemistry.
  • Riley's vitamins. EVIL DRUGS REALLY BECAUSE MAGGIE WALSH IS AWFUL.
  • "What's 314?" *phone immediately rings* coincidence and leprechauns, Buffy.
  • Oh hey. Spike shirtless. Spike's shoulders. Also what's that scar on his shoulder, right above the giant blue vein? Do we think that belongs to Spike or to JM?
I'm not fixating you're fixating.

  • Oho. Willow spent the night with Taraaaaaaaaaaa.
  • Willow and Buffy aren't talking. Sad feels.
  • I do believe that Maggie Walsh isn't yay-killing-people about this, I do believe she's sad Buffy must die. She's clearly weighed the various threats she perceives, and thinks it's for the greater good of her Terrible Fucking Adam Plan, that Buffy be taken out of the picture. But like. Seriously, fuck her, if she thinks it's better to kill a human - and not just a human, but one of the best warriors for good the world has - than to have her stupid project discovered. Fuck you, Maggie Walsh.
  • It's a trick! Buffy ain't dead. It takes at least two inches of water to kill Buffy.
  • urrrrrrr MB is not good at the whole "Buffy is dead" scene
  • Buffy BAMFing it up with her message to Maggie Walsh. "If you think that's enough to kill me, you really don't know what a Slayer is. Trust me when I say you're gonna find out."
  • You've lost him, Maggie. And you ain't getting him back. Mostly because you'll be dead soon.
  • I actually wonder if she could have won him back, talked him back to her side. He's still very much military mindset. I wonder.
  • BUT WE'LL NEVER KNOW. Fucking Adam.
  • Seriously, Fucking Adam.


Favorite Lines:

Daniel:


Zelda: 
Trust me when I say you're gonna find out.


Arc/Continuity Stuff:

  • Recurring: Walsh, Graham, Forrest, Tara, Anya
  • First appearance: Spike's Crypt. Dr. Angelman, Adam, Anya's Capitalism.
  • Buffy and Riley sleep together for the first time.
  • Xander's vague memories of being a soldier tell us that Spike's got a tracer in his shoulder.
  • Adam kills Professor Walsh.


Stats:

Anya's Hair - honey-colored, curly and short
Xander's Job - hocking boost bars
Dead Humans - 1
Dead Undeads - 2
Giles Unconscious - 0
Giles Cleans His Glasses - 0
Buffy Breaks a Door - 0
Evil Reveal - 1 (Maggie Walsh)
Unevil Reveal - 0
Shenanigans Called - 1
Apocalypse Called - 0