The Girl's So Hot, She's Buffy

Episode 4.7: The Initiative. Original Airdate 11.16.99

"Spike finds himself targeted by a group of commandos after he escapes from a military lab underneath the Sunnydale campus."

Daniel's Thoughts:

• Riley has friends!
• "That girl is so hot, she’s Buffy!" That should always be a thing. 
• “Mattressable?”  Really, Forrest?
• “There’s something wrong with her.”  “Maybe she’s Canadian?”  I don’t think Graham is even joking.
• So it’s been at least three days since Spike got tasered.  Is he really just waking up? Or is this happening within the same week as Wild at Heart?
• Shenanigans! Mirrored hallway making it seem like there are more cells then there are.  It just looks…bad. 

Some Mirror magic for ya...

• No more Oz in the credits – but there’s Spike.
• How can Giles and Xander both be going through the same mid-life crisis?
• “I always wondered what would happen when that bitch got funding.” Heh.  If only.  Stupid Initiative.
• Oz’s first name is Daniel!  Like ME.  I love that we find that out after he left.
• “You’re right.  A human being in pain has nothing to do with your job.” Oooh, burnnnn
• I love that Riley keeps calling Buffy odd and peculiar BECAUSE HE LOVES HER!
• Shut up, Parker.  YAY RILEY!

BAM! Bitch went down!

• Riley is such a big giant puppy dog.
• “I need to go see a girl” – Riley and Spike said the same thing!  *Horrible eye roll*
• Depressing Willow is Depressing.
• It’s never a good idea to ask a recently dumped person for dating advice.
• Riley uses the word “courted!” This is why Riley is awesome!
• “She likes cheese.”  Heh.  Who doesn’t?  Except for that one friend of mine that doesn’t.  Weird-o.
• Willow is obviously as charmed by Riley as I am.
• Hey! Harmony’s back!
• Xander’s bored.  Where’s Anya?
• Aww, Riley.  I’m sure you can dance better than Angel can.
• The Harmony/Xander fight is hilarious.  Though – ok, I know she’s Harmony but she should have some skills now that she’s a vamp.  She at least has the super strength.
• Riley has such 90s hair.
• Why isn’t Buffy hanging out with Willow? Didn’t she drag her to this party to help her get over Oz?
• Oooh, look at that huge hangar space!  The initiative had its home.
• Riley has secrets!
• “Riley’s a doof.  He’s not Teutonic.” Aww.  She likes him back.
• Did Spike just quote Barbara Streisand? “Hello Gorgeous.” 

Spike loves Babs

• This Buffy/Riley scene is so awkward and funny.  I’m superhero and trying to hide it!  Except in Riley’s case, just a hero…
• Spike is actually pretty scary in this bit.  And I know it’s supposed to be comical but the way he throws Willow is pretty terrifying in more than a vampire way.  More in a – college-date-rapey kinda way.
• “It’s me, isn’t it.”  Yeah, we get it – the whole funny self-conscious-can't--get-it-up bit – but again – it’s fucking creepy.
• Quarantine?  The Initiative doesn’t seem up with vampire lore.  Buffy can explain it:  It’s a whole sucking thing.
• Riley couldn’t see her properly, because it was stunt Buffy.
• Man, Graham is hot.  Boring, but hot.
• “Can’t hardly even hit anymore.”  Riley, your Midwest is showing.
• Buffy thinks that Riley is peculiar!  Riley is okay with that because peculiar is code for loooove!

Zelda's Thoughts:

• Hi Forrest. I'm kind of whatever about you, honestly.
• I do enjoy the Buffy spaz of breaking the frozen yogurt machine.
• Graham has three milks on his tray.

• "Maybe she's Canadian." I forgot that Graham had any funny in him. I'm used to thinking of him as more cardboard than Captain Cardboard himself.
• HI SPIKE I MISSED YOU. Also, already dreaming of Buffy, are we? I thought that wasn't until Season Five.
• Man, this lighting looks awful on Spike's skin. Which, good job makeup guys. It makes sense a vampire would look all bloodshot and sickly in bright light.
• Love Spike's look of growing panic as he realizes he's super not in Kansas anymore.
• The music is all cool and spirally too.
• To be fair, Giles's portrait of the commando is way better than all the rest of his art ever. Like, EVER. Remember how Cordelia was randomly good at drawing? And Angelus was, too, but he's evil so I assume that goes with the territory?
• Xander and Giles hanging out being useless.
• Spike, the walls of your cell aren't that big. Stop chewing them. (I mean, I love you, but you are being kind of really over the top right now). Though I do respect that he spends the whole scene not just idly standing there but trying to see if there's a way out.

Lookit the special effects!

• Buffy really is super spazzy today.
• God, Walsh, you're awful sometimes.
• "I like her." // "Really? You don't think she's a little peculiar?" Blah blah blah Riley has a crush on Buffy but is in denial blah blah blah
• Hey Giles knows how to load a gun!
• "Is it raspberry fruit punch?" Oh Giles, you're so British. Raspberries are gross.
• Parker is a pig yo.
• See, Riley, if you keep punching Parker, I might start liking you some more.
• Graham actually is pretty fun as the dry guy. Why didn't they write him as funny more often?
• Daniel is full on CLUTCHING HIS HEART as Riley realizes he has a crush on Buffy, you guys.

Daniel, pictured here.

• So what's our theory on why Spike is able to throttle the Initiative doctor and fight his way out? Was the chip not active yet? Is it remotely activated? Did they wait to activate it until he escaped? Or was it delayed, and hadn't fully set in yet? Also, WHEN DID THEY INSTALL IT IF HE WASN'T KNOCKED OUT BY THE DRUGGED BLOOD? Was it the night they abducted him? I NEED TO KNOW THE THINGS.
• Okay, I take some of that back, because I did see him recoil from some actual physical contact. Okay rethinking this. Most of his fight was throwing and flipping but not landing actual punches, so I'm willing to allow his escape. But not so much the throttle?
• Our dormitory doors automatically locked and slammed shut. No fancy wooden unlocked dorm doors like at UC Sunnydale, no sir. I'm just saying, it would be much harder for Spike to stalk and kill me. I mean, unless I went outside. Then I'd be really super dead.
• Aw Riley, asking Willow for help courting Buffy. But bad timing, what with the Willow heartbreak.
• "I've seen honest faces before. They usually come attached to liars."
• Buffy likes cheese. MY HEAD CANON IS THAT THIS IS WHY THE CHEESE MAN IS IN THE RESTLESS DREAMS.
• Harmony's hair is cute. They're so awesome with her hair.
• "My little foam latte ... mon petite creme brulee ... my little mentholated pack of smokes" Spike, your endearments could use some work
• Haha, Harmony's so over Spike's obsession with the Slayer.
• Aw Spike has head pain when Harmony grabs his head. Hey! That's a plant for the brain surgery he doesn't know about yet!
• Willow is super cute as she gives Riley his instructions at the party.
• "A vague disclaimer is nobody's friend." This episode, so much good.
• Buffy, leaning against the snack table for easy access. A woman after my own heart. Though clearly she was planted there so Riley could grab some cheese.
• This is a halter top? Don't those tie behind the neck?

Did they expand the definition of halter?

• TIME FOR THE EPIC FIGHT OF HARMONY AND XANDER.
• Harmony might be the most useless vamp ever, srsly. Like I'm not seeing any superstrength, superspeed, or even the random jujitsu skills so many vamps seem to pick up. I mean it's kind of a contrivance, honestly, that she can't just snap Xander's neck, but I'll allow it because of that fight.
• Okay, I gotta say, Buffy brought Willow to this party to distract her from sad feels, and is busy dancing while Willow sits on a couch. That's ... kind of neglectful?.
• Riley gets the music changed, to make us continue to like him for being nice and stuff.
• YOU GUYS IT'S TIME FOR THE BIG REVEAL.
• Seriously this was so exciting the first time, and it's still exciting now, before they ruin what was cool about the idea of the Initiative.
• THEY'RE SUPER SOLDIERS. THEY KNOW ABOUT DEMONS. THEY FIGHT THEM. A GIANT UNDERGROUND MILITARY ORGANIZATION.
• Also Spike's new nickname is Hostile 17. It's not that catchy, I gotta say.
• Man, I'm remembering how excited I was the first time I watched this season. And after Buffy gets brought inside the Initiative, and it looked like it was going to be this really cool seasonal exploration of the rugged independent individual vs the big government military operation, and which is more effective at demon control, widespread or otherwise. Too bad it got all fucked up. We'll discuss this more anon.
• BUFFY CALLED RILEY A DOOF. THAT MAKES IT SHOW CANON. RILEY IS A DOOF, YOU GUYS.
• Riley is basically twice Buffy's size. It's kind of terrifying.
• Heh their banter is so cute. "Are you drunk?" // "Yes, go and report me."
• "You think boys can take care of themselves and girls need help?" // "Yeah" boooo Riley
• hahaha one scream and off they both run
• Oops Spike found Willow.
• So Spike is able to throw Willow against the wall because ... I'm gonna go with the chip only activates when the intention is pain? He was just keeping her from leaving. It's all about intention, I guess? Like how he can't even aim a gun at a human (as we see later)
• God the scene of him straddling her on the bed is uncomfortably rapey and I think I just didn't pick up on it when I was younger. Because it's really hard to watch.
• But then it's hilarious impotence banter. I'd quote the whole thing but I've already written a lot today.
• Spike: "That fuzzy pink number?" WHICH ONE, SPIKE? WHICH ONE?

Note: During Wild at Heart I declared that to be #9.
That was actually #10. Sorry guys. I do hate inaccuracies.

• "You know this doesn't make you any less terrifying." // "Don't patronize me."
• Yeah Willow you smash his head with a lamp.
• Oh NOW all the dorm doors lock. Gee, THANKS, Initiative.
• Yeah, Buffy, you kick those commando butts. Oh but also you let Spike escape oops. This is why we need to communicate, guys.
• It's a pretty cool fight, all things considered. The soundtrack agrees with me.
• "Whoever he was, the guy was big." Ohhhhhhh Forrest, you're adorable. And very very extremely very wrong.
• "Stupid fraternity prank," eh? Is this the new PCP?
• Yeah see the writing of the Riley/Buffy stuff at the end is cute, but MB's delivery is off. It's just ... I dunno, it's just ... not as good as it could be? The timing was weird. I wish I could phrase it better, but I just don't think he's that good. He's not *nearly* as bad as some guest stars (oy, that shark), but he's not good.

Crossfire!

Forrest: Hey, Parker!

Daniel: Ugh.

Zelda: Goddammit

Daniel: I totally forgot he was back.

Zelda: Me too.

Both: Ugh.

This is what happened when we hit pause. Even Parker agrees with "Ugh."

Favorite Lines:

Daniel: "You're right.  A human being in pain has nothing to do with your job." - Buffy being awesome.
Zelda: "And remember, if you hurt her, I will beat you to death with a shovel. A vague disclaimer is nobody's friend. Have fun!" - Willow

Arc/Continuity Stuff:

• First appearance: Forrest and Graham
• Recurring: Riley, vampire from Sunday's gang, Walsh, Parker, Harmony
• Spike replaced Oz in the credits and WE'RE BOTH HAPPY AND SAD ABOUT THIS OKAY.
• The vampire who warns Spike about the drugged blood packet is the last survivor from Sunday's gang in The Freshman. Way to be continuous, show!
• Oz's real name finally revealed after his exit: Daniel Osborne.
• Xander refers to his military guy time in Halloween.
• Mr. Gordo gets a shoutout, as does Buffy's love of ice capades.
• Harmony likes unicorns. But she doesn't like Spike anymore. Oh wait she does.
• Spike, aka Hostile 17, has a chip which prevents him from harming humans and also from getting written off the show.

Stats:

Oz's Hair - gone, but not in the balding sense. just in the sense that our hearts are BROKEN

Dead Humans - 0

Dead Undeads - 0

Giles Unconscious - 0

Giles Cleans His Glasses - 0

Buffy Breaks a Door - 0

Evil Reveal - 0

Unevil Reveal - 0

Initiative Reveal - 4 (Riley, Walsh, Forrest, and Graham are commandos whut)

Shenanigans Called - 1

Apocalypse Called - 0