PLEASE NOTE: THIS IS A SPOILER-RICH ZONE. If your diet requires you to dine on television spoiler-free ... good luck with that.


Tuesday, January 21, 2014

For the Safety of Puppies and Christmas

Episode 4.11: Doomed. Original Airdate 1.18.00

"As Riley comes to terms with Buffy's revelation, a trio of demons attempts to reopen the Hellmouth."

Daniel's Thoughts:

  • And we start where we left off with Hush.
  • They have no idea what to say to her.
  • I love how Buffy gets offended by, “What are you?”  Accurate.
  • Riley: “You see me with my clothes off, I look like a…”  Daniel: Go onnnnnn.
  • I think Buffy’s being a little unfair.  I mean Riley wasn't the only one that lied.
  • Amy the rat knows before it happens! Earthquake!
  • And in Sunnydale, Earthquake means – something big and bad.
  • I guess that demon in the lab doesn't have the chip. 
  • Seriously, why is Spike the only one with the chip?
  • Percy!  And his girlfriend is a total bitca.
  • This is why I don’t go to parties alone, Willow.
  • Percy’s gross. But he has a killer jaw line.  What?
  • Hey Graham.  Gonna emote today?  Nope?  Carry on then.
  • I don’t really get what’s changed for Buffy with the whole Riley situation.  Why is it worse that he’s better prepared for her world?  He was in her life either way. Would it be better if he was some victim that always needed saving?  Or someone she could keep a secret to her whole life?
  • Meters and kilograms, Riley?  Where are we, Canada?
  • Where’s Anya? This episode is kinda dull.  I need Anya to make it better.
  • Why can’t they kill Spike again?
  • “Some good looking guy who done you wrong.” Ha.  You don’t know the half of it.
  • I guess the teens of Sunnydale are being bused somewhere else? [When my high school was demolished because of an exploding Mayor snow collapsing the roof, I think they bussed the kids to the next town over to do halfsies in their high school. Buffy and I are the same! - Z]
  • Spike can kill demons!  He’s useful!  Yay…
  • Shenanigans!  Why is Xander saving Spike?  Just…get out of there.
  • See Buffy? You and Riley make a good team!
  • Ha! Marsters, an American playing a Brit faking an American accent.
  • Riley’s frat house walls are the same color as the dorm rooms.
  • For the safety of puppies and Christmas. Heh.
  • So yeah, this episode is pretty blah - especially after Hush. I didn't write much - I even had to ask Z, "What's...this episode about again?"

Zelda's Thoughts:

  • blah. I think the only thing I'm looking forward to this episode is Spike's speech about puppies and Christmas at the end.
  • hah I love that she immediately bristles at Riley's awkward approach to the conversation.
  • But she handles it better. he asks what she is - because how could a tiny female be so skilled and strong? she must be a what, not a who - but she asks who he is - because he's a person who's been actively lying to her, and she doesn't know how deep those lies run. And like obviously she's been lying too, but she just got over a Parker Poophead and she's not interested in another man who lies to her.
  • I like how unnerved he is by how much she already knows about his organization.
  • "I don't see a scratch on you." // "You're not looking hard enough." // "I'm looking pretty hard."
  • Okay, this scene is pretty well written. Why am I dreading this episode so much? Maybe it's just the tone implied even in the title. Buffy's much more pessimistic about her fate and life than usual, and I also don't like how an apocalypse is played for laughs (like in The Zeppo) when - as Buffy points out - the last time there was an earthquake she died. One should take an apocalypse seriously.
  • Hah Spike trying to hit Xander with a wrench and Xander not even noticing. Good opening salvo about how he inspires no more fear in the hearts of the Scoobies.
Look at her, smirking at my pain. Pink Sweater #12.

  • So why doesn't Buffy tell Giles about Riley? I know she told him she wouldn't tell anyone but like. Tell Giles. I feel like we've had this lesson many times at this point. Always tell Giles. Because listen to how plummy and British he sounds right now. Actually bizarrely plummy. Both Daniel and I think his voice sounds just bizarre. Did he have to ADR that entire scene or something?
  • (yeah yeah yeah, she doesn't tell Giles because that way it can be one more thing upsetting him in A New Man, but that's stupid.)
  • Oh yeah the other meaning for the title, that Willow is somehow doomed to always be the nerd she was in high school. Whatever. 
  • Aw Spike. This is a terrible idea. Was that seriously the only shirt of Xander's you could find?
  • You know what, the sound is all over the place this episode. I think they must have had to ADR like 60% of it, for whatever reason. And then of course Spike's speech at the end about puppies and Christmas is entirely out of sync (you can tell for sure because the sound of him clapping his hands doesn't match the gesture). I kept hoping they'd fix it for the DVD, but alas.
  • Sign of true friendship - the thing Buffy is most upset about in Willow's story was the same thing Willow was upset about - Percy calling her a nerd.
  • "She's cool, she's hot, she's tepid, she's all-temperature Buffy."
  • HST = Hostile Sub-Terrestrial. meh. I'm renaming it to Hamburger Surprise Tokens.
  • "It's the end of the world." // "AGAIN??" See it's a cute gag, for the one line, but they're still playing it for laughs.
  • "My contrition completely dwarfs the impending apocalypse."
  • Man, demon, stealing bones is just so tacky.
  • Seriously, though, this episode is SUCH a place holder. The two things it accomplishes are: pushing forward the Riley-and-Buffy story, and the reveal that Spike can hurt demons. Either one of those could have been folded into a story I actually care about. But I think mostly it's the meaningless apocalypse that bothers me.
  • "Do you know what a Hellmouth is? Do you have a fancy term for it?" 
  • I do like the juxtaposition of the Scoobies doing research in books, rhymes and legends, while Riley briefs the other commandos on the demon's stats - size and speed. See, if this were what S4 were about, I would have loved this season so much. I was so excited by this contrast, this conflict of the rugged individuals with brilliance and experience versus the large lumbering organization with a very black and white perspective, tied down by procedure and bureaucracy (the thing Buffy abandoned when she quit the Council). But they threw it in the trash when they traded that for actually being about building demon-human-cyber hybrids. And then Adam being the boringest villain ever. So much that could have been, so much that wasn't.
  • Seriously Spike that's a really crappy way to try to kill yourself. It's like you're not even trying.
  • "I mean, am I even remotely scary anymore? Tell me the truth."
The little squeaky grrr he makes though.

  • "Think of the happy - if we don't find what we're looking for, we face an apocalypse." // "Really? You're not just saying that?"
  • "No, I mean you're stupid." Riley Finn, TA for Seduction 101.
  • Aw, shout out to Faith in a coma! I actually did make an "awww" sound even though ... that's not an aww moment. But I like that Faith is still on Buffy's mind, especially since she'll be coming back in a bit.
  • Historical Museum of Sunnydale? huhyeahokay.
  • That little smile of Spike's after he belittles Willow and Xander.
  • "Oh, as usual, dear." Aw Giles.
  • Buffy, re: Spike "Why is he even here?" snerk
  • "If these walls were still walls, what stories they could tell."
  • It's time to defy science and the speed of falling, as Buffy miraculously catches up with the Vahrall demon after it jumped in the Hellmouth. On behalf of science, I call a shenanigan.
  • Haha oh Riley you're terrible at lying. Like truly bad. Like petroleum bad.
  • "Me? No. No sir. I'm just an old pal of Xander's here." Spike's fake American accent is my other favorite thing.
  • "You have a security code and rank?" Marc Blucas's quick glance up, trapped and his small "No." is when I'm reminded that he can do funny sometimes.
  • Yay Spike got his black tshirt back! But his jeans are regular blue. Strange and confusing times.

Favorite Lines:

Daniel: "Oh, as usual, dear." - Giles
Zelda: "What's this? Sitting around watching the telly while there's evil still afoot. That's not very industrious of you. I say we go out there and kick a little demon ass! What, can't go without your Buffy, is that it? Too chicken? Let's find her! She is the Chosen One after all. Come on! Vampires! Grrr! Nasty! Let's annihilate them. For justice, and for ... the safety of puppies ... and Christmas, right? Let's fight that evil! Let's kill something! OH COME ON!" - Spike

Arc/Continuity Stuff:

  • Riley's in the credits now!
  • Recurring: Amy the Rat, Forrest, Percy, Graham
  • Buffy and Riley now know each other's secret identities.
  • Most of the Initiative thinks the Slayer is a myth.
  • Shoutout to Coma!Faith.
  • Spike can hurt demons. He's back and he's a bloody animal!


Xander's Job - Pizza Delivery
Dead Humans - 1
Dead Undeads - 3
Dead Flashbacks - 0
Giles Unconscious - 0
Giles Cleans His Glasses -0
Buffy Breaks a Door - 0
Evil Reveal - 0
Unevil Reveal - 0
Shenanigans Called - 2
Apocalypse Called - 1


  1. I would lick Percy's face. I would. I WOULD!

  2. "She's cool, she's hot, she's tepid, she's all-temperature Buffy."

    This right here is why I fucking love Forrest. I don't understand why people hate him so much.

    1. I mostly just think the actor is weak. *shrug*

      But he does have some truly great lines.

  3. "I think Buffy’s being a little unfair. I mean Riley wasn't the only one that lied." she has annoying double standards with men all the time. shes actually pretty self centered for a person who lives to save the world. but then again she doesnt have time for peoples flaws. i mean... she is the savior of the world and all... one must meet certain standards to be the partner of a savior. like not distracting her with annoying lies and such. she on the other hand... is supposed to be all secret and all. although shes not very good at keeping it secret so i dont know why she didnt just spill. she just wanted normal but i dont know why she keeps thinking she will get it... and those of us with normal are so bored with it

  4. having fun here. it's 1:03 AM, tomorrow work, and no one in my brain cares.