PLEASE NOTE: THIS IS A SPOILER-RICH ZONE. If your diet requires you to dine on television spoiler-free ... good luck with that.


Tuesday, October 14, 2014

Magic Incense and Spooky Sand

Episode 5.5: No Place Like Home. Original Airdate 10.24.00

"Buffy learns more about Dawn after she discovers a mysterious orb linked to a group of monks being pursued by an incredibly powerful force."

Daniel's Thoughts:

  • Monks!  With their monk haircuts! 
  • Buffy rarely gets the subtitle timestamp. (2 months ago.)
  • Buffy's fighting a wrestler! 
  • “It was my turn to bring the bundt cake.” heh. 
  • The Dagon Sphere reminds me of the Orb of Thesula…but looks so cool.   
  • Pumpkin belly?  Where'd that come from? 
  • Aww, Buffy is so jealous of her little sis. 
  • Giles in the wizard outfit.  It’s just so.  He’s so gleeful.  And Buffy's face.  And Giles falling face.  And it’s all just so wonderful. 
  • Both Zelda and I mimicked Buffy’s ‘hand over fist’.  We are nerds. 
  • It appears to be paranormal in origin//how can you tell?
  • Hey, it’s Kendoll. Will he ever be interesting? At least he has more expressions than Graham. 
  • I like that Buffy thinks what’s happening to her mom is supernatural.  Because it’s easier.  She can fight monsters.  She can’t fight an illness. 
  • Glory!   
  • Wow, it’s been like 20 minutes and no Xander and Anya.  No Tara, either. 
  • Here’s Anya! 
  • I love Buffy’s shirt. I so want that shirt. But you know, for men.
  • Glory does 'crazy' well.  I love her mannerisms. 
  • The Magic Box is so crowded!  Yay for Giles! 
  • Anya, “Please, go.” Heh! 
  • “Hey you!  Have a nice day!”  Love her. So much.
  • Willow is terrible at wrapping. 
  • Anya is helpful in so many ways.  She can come up with a spell to help Buffy and wrap a statue all at once.  So underappreciated, that one. 
  • Aww, Buffy’s trying to make Riley feel helpful. 
  • “Maybe instead of trying to take care of me, let’s agree to take care of each other. Deal?”  You go, Riley. 
  • “What are you doing?”//” My boyfriend.”  Great dialogue in this ep. 
  • This meditation sequence is so trippy, I love it. The visual effects are simple but so affected and well directed. 
  • The reveal with the picture is so good.
  • it must take such incredible magic to insert a human being into a life and change everyone’s memories, pictures, etc.  
  • It’s convenient that they had that extra room in the house…for storage. 
  • This tricky stuff making Dawn look evil is so effective and everything that happens can still be so easily explained. 
  • Hey, look.  It’s Spike, post erotic dream. 
  • I love the five words or less. “Out for a walk.  ….  Bitch.” 
  • “I never really liked you anyway, and you have stupid hair.”  This is…just stop. 
  • “Where’s Buffy?” “You don’t have to worry about her.”  Eh, that’s the only one that’s not too explainable.  It’s a weird response to the question. Maybe it's the delivery.
  • Whoa!  Glory is strong. 
  • Anya has a job!  She’s so cute accepting the job, too, "OK....boss."
  • She is huuuumaaaaaan.  No joke, whenever I hear that word, I hear this monk saying it. 
  • Sarah and Michelle have excellent chemistry as sisters.

Zelda's Thoughts:

  • Oh right. The monks. They're a thing.
  • This vamp is huge. But our Buffy is the best.
  • Even if her coat is weird.
  • Joyce :( this is not okay
  • Giles is just. So fucking cute. I cannot with the cuteness of him.
  • Buffy trying to visualize the phrase "hand over fist" is adorable. I love when they let Buffy be adorable.
  • I love that Willow comes in asking Giles about his hat and cloak. Did he tell her about his costume? Or did she just assume? Either scenario is adorable. I picture Giles excitedly phoning Willow to tell her, and she demands pictures and he can't figure out the timer on his camera so it's blurry pictures of like his hand.
  • Dawn, you're awful. Stop it.
  • "Why can't I ever be li'l punkinbelly?" // "Well, I don't feel qualified to address the last part..."
  • "You just have no idea how much I wish I were an only child these days." And the audience groans at yet another trolling line. At least we get answers this ep.
  • WHY THE FUCK DOESN'T INTERN BEN KNOW HOW TO PRONOUNCE THE WORD MUSCLES WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK. He says muskles. With a k. What even why. Why didn't anyone catch that.
  • I forgot that brain-sucked security guard is what sets Buffy to convincing herself that Joyce's illness is magical in origin. Poor Buffy. Poor Joyce. Also poor brain-sucked security guard, I guess.
  • Ugh Glory. I wish I wish she were better at delivering her lines because I really can't stand her "acting."
  • Aw Giles got a customer! He's so excited and cute. "They gave me money and then they left!"
  • Anya, what is your dress.
  • "I could crap a better existence than this." See, even reading the line you can hear how it's supposed to sound. And that's not how she says it. She says the line completely wrong. Bad bad bad acting. Hate Glory.
  • It is an interesting feature of Glory as a villain, though, her tendency to go mad unless she's brain-sucked someone recently. Also the yet-to-be-revealed thing about having to share a body with Ben.
  • "That's not candy." Um. Who goes into a store and starts eating things without paying for them? Fuck you, Sunnydale patrons.
  • "Please go." Anya is awesome. "Hey you! Have a nice day."
  • This episode is all about Anya being awesome! She's the one to think of the sorcerer and spell Buffy can cast to see if something is attacking Joyce. And then later she rescues Giles by being awesome at retail.
  • I dunno, I wouldn't pour sand on a carpeted floor. Why can't Buffy use the only bathroom in the house?
  • Spooky Trance Time!
  • I actually really love the way this is handled - the disappearing Dawn in the photos, etc. It shows that she's not real, which is enough to set Buffy off, without actually marking her as malicious or benign.
  • "Nothing. There's nothing." Poor Buffy. She wants so desperately for there to be a magical explanation for Joyce's headaches, because that's what she's trained to fight. She can't fight real illness. (And if Intern Ben and his linguistic skills are all we having fighting on the side of medicine, we are fucked).
  • Dawn's bedroom fading into a storage room - such a cool effect.
  • "You're not my sister."
  • Aaaaaaaaaah they're playing up Dawn as creepy evil so well. Because if you know the truth it's just a hurt pouty teenager, but if you don't know yet, it all sounds evil. "Do you really think I care you're the Slayer? ... Mom's coming back."

  • Oh right, because last episode Spike discovered he might have a crush on Buffy. And he's handling it like a teenager, insulting Buffy.
  • "Your house happens to be directly between ... parts and other ... parts of this town."
  • She called him William. That's ... kind of weird? She's never done that before?
  • "And I never really liked you anyway and you have stupid hair."
Buffy's inner monologue: dafuq what that?
  • I forgot how much happens in this episode.
  • Look! Dawn has tea! Potentially Evil Tea!
  • "I'll see your numbness and I'll raise you a lower back pain."
  • "Anya, would you like a job?" // "..Okay." ANYA IS SO CUTE. I LOVE IT SO MUCH."Okay ... boss."
  • See, so like, this could be awesome, two tiny blondes fighting and being really strong. But Glory sucks.
  • Yay Buffy punch the Glory!
  • Buffy's hair looks amazing considering how many floors, walls, and columns she's been thrown against.
  • "I didn't ask for this. I don't even know - what is she?" // "Human. And helpless. Please, she's an innocent in this. She needs you." // "She's not my sister." // "She doesn't know that." It hurts, you guys.
  • Oh god, I even want to hug Dawn now. Buffy gets home, Dawn gets up from Joyce's side, muttering "I wasn't bothering her."
  • "Buffy, what's wrong with mom?" // "I don't know."


Ben: [mispronounces muscle]
Zelda: [looks triumphant at Daniel]
Daniel: It's not a mispronunciation. I've heard people say that. It's like a jokey thing.
Zelda: No, it's not!
Daniel: Yes it is! I've heard people do that.
Zelda: I've never heard anyone do that! You're lying.
Daniel: I'm not lying! I swear. No one would actually mispronounce muscles unless it's on purpose. It's not a medical term, it's a word! It's an everyday word!
Zelda: [glares]

Favorite Lines:

Daniel: "What are you doing?" // "My boyfriend." - Dawn/Buffy
Zelda: "Out. For. A. Walk. Bitch." - Spike

Arc/Continuity Stuff:

  • First appearance: Dagon Sphere, as-yet-unnamed Glory (aka The Beast, The Abomination)
  • Recurring: Joyce, Joyce's headaches, Ben
  • First mention of the Key. "It's energy, it's ... portal. It opens a door." Also it's Dawn.
  • Riley's still benched after his itty bitty heart surgery.


Anya's Hair - shoulder-length, curly, honey-blonde
Dead Humans - 1
Dead Undeads - 1
Giles Unconscious - 0
Giles Cleans His Glasses - 1
Buffy Breaks a Door - 0
Buffy Breaks a Padlocked Gate - 1
Buffy Breaks a Wall With Her Body - 2
Glory Breaks a Building With Her Foot - 1
Evil Reveal - 0
Unevil Reveal - 1 (Dawn)
Shenanigans Called - 0
Apocalypse Called - 0


  1. (And if Intern Ben and his linguistic skills are all we having fighting on the side of medicine, we are fucked).

    Fuck you Zelda, I almost choked. lol

    +1 on the Glory hate. Glory fans always give me shit when I criticise her "you just don't get it." YES I DO. THE ACTRESS JUST FUCKING SUCKED THAT'S WHY I DON'T LIKE HER." >:(


    1. THANK YOU. An actor being terrible really hurts my ability to see past that and have affection for the character.

  2. You're right, Clare Kramer is sooo bad.
    But, as strange as it is, the french dubing is excellent. Whoever did it for Glory was a good actress and the lines are perfectly delivered.
    The monologue to Dawn in the last ep is awesome !
    This is awful cause, as a super Buffy nerd, when I watch season 5, I change the language on the DVD everytime Glory speaks, just to put it back in English afterwards...

  3. *makes note to do this next time even though I barely understand French anymore*

  4. I love that Giles/Buffy silent exchange! He's just too adorable in the wizard outfit.

    Loved the reveal. This is the reasons hate anyone who watches the first episode of season 5, goes "who the hell is Dawn?", and then asks everyone to just tell them. Watch the fucking episodes, the reveal is so much better if you wait! Honestly, I just want to yell at anyone who does that, you have every episode at your disposal, right now, stop whining. At least you didn't have to wait week by week when it first aired, like I and many others did. >:(

  5. 1. Giles in that hat and the silent exchanges. Just one of the funniest moments of the whole series'. Love it every time I see it.
    2. Out. For. A. Walk…Bitch…excellent delivery and also super cute when you see all the cigarette butts and know he's been waiting ages. Also love the hair comment.
    3. Dawn sequence really creeped me out. Especially the Joyce bit with the photo behind.
    Excellent episode!

  6. I call a general shenanigans, not just on this episode but on Harry Potter and every other show where they do the "person disappearing from a photo" gag. We're supposed to believe that Joyce, or the Grangers, or whomever, like to display these oddly composed photos with people sitting off-center, or with odd gaps between the subjects, and so on? Seems to me the FX should cause the whole photo to be re-composed.