PLEASE NOTE: THIS IS A SPOILER-RICH ZONE

PLEASE NOTE: THIS IS A SPOILER-RICH ZONE. If your diet requires you to dine on Buffy Spoiler-free ... good luck with that.

Tuesday, December 9, 2014

I Have Finesse Coming Out of My Bottom



Episode 5.11: Triangle. Original Airdate 1.9.01



"While Giles is in England meeting with the Watcher Council, a bickering Anya and Willow mind the magic store and inadvertently conjure up a fearsome troll."

Sophia's Thoughts:
  • This is a sad teaser. (1) Because I’m sure a lot of the audience would forget that Riley’s gone if it wasn’t mentioned. Xander, I’m not asking myself, “Where’s Riley?” and (2) Next season, when Xander leaves Anya, there will be absolutely no warning for her.
  • Xander, the jury is still out on whether she has a pattern with men. Here is my completely unsolicited and unfounded theory on the nature of patterns. The first time something happens, it is a fluke. The second time, it is a coincidence. The third time, it is a pattern. Buffy has one more piece of relationship debris for it to be a pattern.
  • There’s a convent in Sunnydale?! A convent in Sunnydale!...Actually, nevermind. That makes complete sense.
  • Things to consider when contemplating joining a devout religious community: (1) gender relations; (2) whether or not one needs to be religious—correction, super-religious; (3) the food sitch.
  • Anya and Willow are proof that just because you leave high school, doesn’t mean that high school leaves you.
  • There are several unsettling things with Spike’s convo rehearsal: (1) the mannequin! I don’t want to know what else you’ve been doing with her. But we’ll find out a little later in the season what Spike does with synthetic Buffy stand-ins. (2) Why do you think Buffy would want chocolates from you? Also, did you steal those or find them in the trash? (3) In just this one-sided conversation, we see how volatile your relationship with Buffy would be. You’ll think you’re being sweet and she’ll be reminded of what you are. You’ll fight and then reset to do it all over again.
  • Sorry, Willow, I’m Team Anya on this one. You are stealing from the store and being reckless. Your familiarity and history with the Scoobies doesn’t give you the authority to disregard Anya. Also, in the same conversation, you say Giles wouldn’t mind and that he doesn’t have to know.
  • Guys, stop trying to make fetch happen. I don’t miss Riley. Neither does Buffy—no amount of dialogue, strange emotional outbursts, or hugs are going to change my mind. [I miss Riley....-D]
  • I would totally watch a season from Spike’s point of view. He is really just living in his own world. Buffy is not holding a grudge. And there are bigger trolls to fry.
  • Finally! Anya and Willow are on the same page. The mission of this episode is complete!
  • Dawn knows she isn’t crazy! The crazy people were right! She’s not quite normal.


Daniel's Thoughts:

  • And we have Xander pining over Riley.
  • Don't become a nun, Buffy.
  • Council mention! I can't wait for their episode.
  • "I have finesse! I have finess coming out of my bottom!"


  • Willow is so goddamned condescending. It's awful.
  • Dawn: "What are you doing?" Buffy: [reading] "Playing soccer." - I've used this before.
  • "Maybe [Riley'll] come back?" Yep, he will. With a wife.
  • Stop it, Spike.
  • This spell you're talking about? Simulating sunlight? Might have been great for the end of season 7. Just sayin'. Could have saved a lot of deaths...
  • Ugh, this fight between Anya and Willow. It's so...stop.
  • That's a terrible impression of Anya, Willow.
  • And you know, I'd probably like this episode more if it actually solved all the petty fighting between Willow & Anya but it so doesn't. I will reference this in later episodes.
  • Hey! Buffy and Tara have a scene with each other!
  • They took Giles' car!
  • Anya driving is amazing.
  • "A lot of people never got Dru."//"Well she was insane."
  • "I wish Buffy was here."//"I'm here!"//"I wish...I had a million dollars."
  • Troll hammer! This will come in handy later.
  • Ew, Spike. Stop it.
  • I do like the continuity and the history being brought up, like Cordelia.
  • "Gay now!"
  • Xander just got hit with Thor's hammer...how is he not dead?


  • The land of perpetual Wednesday!
  • Oh, crying Buffy. I hate crying Buffy.


Zelda's Thoughts:

  • "Maybe it won't happen to us," says Anya. ANYA NO THAT IS JINXING YOURSELF.
  • The nun's pretty funny, I gotta say.
  • Okay so while I recognize that Triangle is nowhere near as bad as The Zeppo, it suffers from some of the same problems, for me. People behaving out of character for the sake of humor, rather than humor arising naturally from already-existing characters. And goofy humor, rather tonally inappropriate to everything else happening on the show. Mostly I'm referring to Buffy's goofy crying jags. But I also don't like how mean Willow is behaving toward Anya. It's not like Anya's a new fixture in the gang. She's been around longer than Tara.
  • "Don't worry, Giles. I'll help her take care of everything." See? It's unnecessarily condescending. Anya's shown COUNTLESS times this season how good she is at retail and also magic stuff in general - she was the one to realize what spell Glory was casting.
  • Buffy and Dawn sassing Joyce. So cute. It's because they think all is well and she's getting better. WE KNOW THE TRUTH, WHEDON.
  • "Whatcha doing?" // "Playing soccer."
  • Oh Spike. Buffy Mannequin is not interested in your chocolates or your apologies.
  • Buffy Mannequin is not wearing a bra. And has nipples. wtf.
  • Okay but Willow you are stealing from the shop. This isn't borrowing cinnamon from Giles's spice rack. This is store inventory.
  • "Hey, don't float the merchandise."
  • "She endangered the money!"
  • At least Xander realizes how not in the middle of the fight between Willow and Anya he should be. Also Tara. Smart cookies.
  • Shenanigans! Willow poured supplies into her mortar and didn't even grind the supplies with the pestle before dumping then in the cauldrony thing. That's some bad spellage.
  • So Willow should pay for the damage to the shop, yes? Yes.
  • "He's not a ball of sunshine."
  • Buffy and Tara taking classes together, so cute!
  • And here's Buffy's first "comedic" sobbing freakout. Sigh.
  • And there's Willow calmly watching her spell fly away from Giles's car.
  • "Puny receptacle!" Olaf is delightful.
  • "Do you know where there are babies?" // "What do you think, the hospital?"
  • "They've got this onion thing." Spike's true love is the onion blossom and we all know it.
  • Gasp! Anya used to date Olaf. But he called her Anyanka, and as we'll see in Selfless, she went by Aud when they were together. So that's a ... ret-incon ... where the retroactive flashback makes the information inconsistent ... okay then.
  • PS Spike: your "good deeds" aren't worth much when you're doing them for show. Also not drinking blood from disaster victims is not really a good deed in the same way as not deliberately tripping people is not really a good deed. Also that.
  • Willow lecturing Anya on the rules. After she stole inventory and attempted spells in uncontrolled circumstances.
  • "I don't do magic now. You're the one with that kind of power. In fact, D'Hoffryn offered you my old job. You're closer to being a vengeance demon than I am, maybe Xander should be afraid of you." Anya, showing her psychic powers. Willow's on a long-term dark path here.
  • It's a cute reversal - when Olaf appeared, Anya hid behind Willow. When he returns to the Magic Shop, Anya pushes Willow behind her.
  • Um. Olaf smashes Xander's head with the hammer, and Xander's NOT dead? Also not skull fractured? Also not knocked out or concussed? Shenanigans!


Crossfire!

Spike: *demolishes Buffy Mannequin*
Daniel: So romantic.


Favorite Lines:

Sophia: "I have finesse! I have finesse coming out of my bottom!" - Anya
Daniel: "If you ever decide to go, I want a warning. You know? Big flashing red lights, and-and-and one of those clocks that counts down like a bomb in a movie? And there's a whole bunch of, of colored wires, and I'm not sure which is the right one to cut, but I guess the green one, and then at the last second, "No! The red one!" and then click, it stops with three-tenths of a second left, but then you don't leave. Like that, okay?" -Anya
Zelda: "That's insane troll logic." - Xander


Arc/Continuity Stuff:

  • First appearance: Olaf and his Hammer, Spike's love for onion blossoms
  • Recurring: Tara, Joyce
  • Sunnydale has a convent.
  • Shoutout to Amy the Rat
  • Willow killed her fish when she was six and wasn't allowed to have fish for five years. And then Angelus killed her replacement fish.
  • More of Willow doing spells wrong, making things worse.
  • Anya became a vengeance demon after changing Olaf into a troll.
  • Shoutout to the World Without Shrimp.


Stats:

Anya's Hair - shoulder length, honey blonde, curly
Dead Humans - 0
Dead Undeads - 1
Giles Unconscious - 0
Giles Cleans His Glasses - 0
Buffy Breaks a Door - 0
Olaf Breaks the Magic Shop - 1
Evil Reveal - 0
Unevil Reveal -  0
Shenanigans Called - 2
Apocalypse Called - 0

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