PLEASE NOTE: THIS IS A SPOILER-RICH ZONE

PLEASE NOTE: THIS IS A SPOILER-RICH ZONE. If your diet requires you to dine on Buffy Spoiler-free ... good luck with that.

Tuesday, October 25, 2016

A Much Crappier Musical

Episode 7.9: Never Leave Me. Original Airdate 11.26.02

"Spike is held captive in the Summers home while the Scoobies ponder their options in the aftermath of his murder spree. Willow finds Andrew buying blood and decides to take him prisoner also. While they try to decide what to do next, the gang are interrupted by the mysterious hooded figures called 'Bringers' ... the minions of the First Evil."

Daniel's Thoughts:

  • Xander finally found his superpower: Construction
  • Dawn Summers – Unlikely voice of reasonnnn
  • “Shouldn’t we stab him through the chest? Isn't it what we do when these things happen?”
  • Damn it, Andrew.
  • I’ll say this for the first. He does a good Warren impression.
  • Ok, Warren clearly morphed into Jonathan. Does Andrew think they’re really his friends? What is Andrew thinking right now? Or is he even thinking at all?
  • And here’s martyr Spike. Ugh. Kill me. No. Kill him.
  • Ah, the myth of the permanent record.
  • DB Woodside has some great comedy chops.
  • Travers is in England. You can tell because of all the books. And the giant globe. All the old stuff.
  • Spike’s going through withdrawal….or something? I don’t…he’s shaking? Why? Why is he all dead face? Did someone hum the song?
  • Buffy: “We need to get some blood” Willow: “Do you want me to kill Anya?” FUCK YOU. Fuuuuuuckkkkkkkk youuuuuuu, willlooooooow. Seriously? Even in jest? Spike’s the one killing people but you even jokingly suggest killing Anya? You still have this weird beef with Anya? Did "Triangle" teach you nothing? WTF, Willow. Fuck you.  You are the worst.  The WORST.
  • Aww, piggy.
  • I don’t know…I feel like the First is acting too much like Warren now. There’s no sign that he’s anything other than that.
  • Willow vs. Andrew. I’m not sure who I want to win in this lame fight, really.
  • Andrew: “You killed my best friend.” You, too…also killed your other best friend.
  • Andrew: “I’m good.” Yeah…you just killed one of your best friends.  Which is why Andrew is irredeemable. And the writers knew this.  Why have Andrew kill someone in cold blood when they know they're going to make him a recurring goofball?  There is no logic here.
  • Ugh, this convo between Willow and Andrew is just so embarrassing. Just pull it out and measure already. Willow has lost every shred of badness she’s ever had.
  • LOL. I love this good cop/bad cop Xander/Anya thing. Anya slapping Andrew bring so much satisfaction.
  • See at this point, on first watch, I actually thought Xander and Anya would get back together. I actually wished for it. Now all I want is to watch Xander get his eye gouged out. (spoilers!)
  • Ugh, this whole Spike self-pity scene. I just can’t.
  • Xander and Andrew do have some good comedic chemistry.
  • Anya is hitting Andrew again! Yay! Let’s make this an episode.
  • Yay! Spike! Kill Andrew! Aww, Buffy saved him.
  • “Maybe it’s another musical! A much crappier musical.”
  • I love that that one episode where Xander thought he was a soldier has given us so much information. I wonder if Buffy knows a lot about 18th century plantations.
  • Where’d they get those chains? Leftover from Oz?
  • Spike: “Kill me” OK!
  • Spike: “You’ve never met the real me.” Haven’t we?
  • “You’ve fought by my side. You’ve saved lives…” Yeah, so did Anya when you stabbed her through the chest. The difference is you like Spike’s penis.
  • Oh man, Xander just fixed that window.
  • Oooh, why is Wood burying Jonathan?
  • Nice hit, Dawn!
  • Omg, using Andrew as a battering ram is brilliant.
  • And bye bye watcher’s council. I love this set-up because it makes us think that the Watcher’s council is going to be all involved with this big speech by Travers. And BOOM.
  • Even the all-knowing First doesn’t know Andrew’s name.
  • Hey! An uber vamp. And here comes all the inconsistencies with this new creature. Happy rest of Season 7 everyone!

Zelda's Thoughts: 

  • Okay, let's get started on the episode that should have been titled "Sleeper"! Yeah GO TEAM.
  • Last episode covered November 13th and 14th. So today we start the 15th, yes?
  • Okay it might still be the evening of the 14th. Let's go with that. It means Xander got on fixing the window faster.
  • "So the basement was filled with bodies? ... And Spike could've sired countless others and buried them around town. And we're waiting for him to do what exactly? Do something crazy?" // "Shouldn't we stab him through the chest? Isn't that what we do when these things happen?"
  • At least the show is acknowledging the awkwardness, with both Dawn and Anya being like "soooo what's the plan?"
  • Of course Andrew is cosplaying as Spike.
  • "I'm little! I don't have as much blood as other people!" It's true. I wonder if he's too little to donate blood.
  • Danny Strong is good at the quiet menace. "We can work around that."
  • "I get free, someone's gonna die." Yeah so let's use rope and wood to secure a potentially feral vamp. Let's not use shackles and let's not, say, ward wherever he is with crosses and whatnot. They really should have consulted with Wood on this. Except they didn't know about Wood yet. BUT DON'T BRING LOGIC INTO THIS.
  • Hey, speaking of Robin Wood! There he is being awesome. "Listen, this whole permanent record thing is such a myth anyway. Colleges never ask for anything past your SAT scores, and it's not like employers are gonna be calling up to check to see how many days you missed back in high school."
  • D.B. Woodside was too good for this season. "I think it would be much easier if I just called the police, let them deal with it."
  • We've taken such a long hiatus that I'm just excited to see all the cast again. I'm in denial about the direction of the season.
  • Man, Travers, you are such a little shit. I'd abuse you more but I know you're about to go all 'splodey.
  • "The girl knows nothing." And ... you want her to remain that way? Your own defense against the oncoming evil? How stupidly self-destructive do you have to be?
  • Willow's joke about killing Anya is ... pretty tasteless? Like even out of character callousness, even for her and her antipathy toward Anya. I know Daniel is ranting about it even as I type this. Like, we can joke about killing Andrew all we want - and I'm sure we will - but she's one of the Scoobies, and she's human again, and Willow needs to stop.
  • "Babe 2: Pig in the City was really underrated." // "Don't think about Babe"
  • "I'm not bad. I'm not bad anymore. I'm good. I do good things now." // "Then why do you need lots and lots of blood?" // "I am bad."
  • Eh, the Willow/Andrew showdown scene isn't doing much for me. I just ... I don't care.
  • Guys, I just noticed - it's definitely November 15th. 
  • Anya as bad cop is kind of delightful.
  • "When did your chip stop working?" // "Wasn't aware that it had." And it hasn't really - it's active while he's conscious - we saw that last episode. Somehow the trigger from The First switches off the chip?
  • "Meaning I have come to redefine the words pain and suffering since I fell in love with you." // "How can you say that?"
  • I do like that they're having a frank discussion. "You hated yourself and you took it out on me." "Soul's not all about moonbeams and penny whistles, luv. It's about self-loathing."
  • Except for this: "I understand you now, I understand the violence inside." What ... does that mean?
  • Xander plays good cop well, too. I should say that. 
  • "Does smallpox still kill people?" #awkward
  • Okay but Xander you don't get to metaphorize your fuckup and act like Anya did it to you. Though I do appreciate the Heart of Darkness nod to "Restless." Season Seven, if nothing else, is good at its "Restless" callbacks.
  • Noooooooo Buffy don't leave Spike alone! The First is watching!
  • "I was just keeping myself company." SO TO SPEAK. BECAUSE THE FIRST TOOK SPIKE'S FORM. DO YOU GET IT?
  • And the chair is broken.
  • And the wall is broken. Poor Buffy's house.
  • "How's what's-his-name?" You mean Tucker's brother?
  • "And then he started singing." // "Maybe it's another musical!" // Blank stares all round. // "A much crappier musical."
  • And here's Xander to explain sleeper agents/triggers - which gosh, would have been a good title for THIS episode, right? At least they say it's from his movie-watching, and not lingering Soldier!Xander memories 
  • "How do we holster - safety - I don't know guns."
  • "I need to know exactly what we're dealing with." Cut to Principal Wood being ... suspicious. D.B. Woodside being so good at leaning into the ambiguity with his neutral mask.
  • I can't believe Andrew just left Jonathan's corpse there. What a shitty friend.
  • Oh look, Buffy found the shackles. Headcanon that Xander used his carpentry skills to install the wall socket to hold them.

  • I mean, it's hilarious but SHENANIGANS he did not know Tucker and he's met Andrew before.
  • I actually do follow Buffy's logic for deciding to go after Anya in "Selfless" but not to kill Spike here (sorry Daniel). Anya consciously made choices; Buffy's seen for herself that Spike isn't fully conscious when he's doing these things. Spike's dangerous, and he needs to be secured so he can't hurt people, but this isn't volitional.
  • "Do you know how much blood you can drink from a girl before she'll die? I do." This speech is chilling. "Cause it's not worth it if they don't cry."
  • "You like men who hurt you." Nope. Fuck you, Spike. "No, I don't hate like that. Not you, or myself. Not anymore. You think you have insight now, 'cause your soul's drenched in blood? You don't know me. You don't even know you."
  • "You're alive because I saw you change. Because I saw your penance."
  • The Spuffyness of this ep is good for a shipper like me, but I can also see where Daniel's (and other's) frustrations are coming from.
  • "I believe in you, Spike." HIS FACE.
  • And then the stupid Bringers arrive and destroy everything.
  • Poor Jonathan gets a pauper's grave.
  • YEAH DAWN YOU FIGHT THOSE BRINGERS.
  • And now Buffy's using Andrews as a blunt weapon to hurl at the Bringers and it's hilarious
  • Welp, so much for those shackles.
  • HEY GUYS, THE SCOOBIES FINALLY KNOW IT'S THE FIRST.
  • Welp, so much for the Watchers' Council.
  • Man, even The First pretends not to remember Andrew's name. That's way harsh, Tai.
  • "To be honest, I'm getting a little tired of subtle." Hark! Are those the season's death knells?
  • Camden Toy's back, you guys!
  • And thus November 15th draws to a close.

Favorite Lines:

Daniel: "And I wasn't sure if I should slap him - but then he made me want to slap him, so I thought, OK, slap him!" - Anya
Zelda: "Maybe it's another musical! ... A much crappier musical." - Anya
Bonus: From the shooting script: "Quentin: It's all right, Blake. 'We are still masters of our fate, we are still captain of our souls.' // Winston Churchill's words give Blake resolve, as they do all British people."

Arc/Continuity Stuff:

  • First appearance: Turok-Han (and another stint from Camden Toy)
  • Recurring: Andrew, The First (as Warren, Jonathan, Spike, Buffy), Robin Wood, Quentin Travers, people not remembering Andrew's name, Bringers, that one Watcher who had a crush on Spike, that one Watcher Buffy threw a sword at
  • Shoutout to OMWF!, 
  • Shoutout to Xander's stint as a soldier
  • Buffy realizes it's The First that's been coming for them

Stats:


Anya's Hair - light brown, side bangs, pageboy-ish cut
Dead Humans - 10 (+?)
Dead Undeads - 3
Buffy Breaks a Door - 1 (not on purpose)
Spike Breaks a Wall - 1
Bringers Break the House - 1
Evil Reveal - 1 (confirmation that The First is the Big Bad)
Unevil Reveal - 0
Shenanigans Called - 1
Apocalypse Called - 0

5 comments:

  1. Ah, the Turok-Han. A vampire so powerful that it resists stakes through the heart and Buffy herself struggles to defeat it. No worries, though; Anya and Andrew won't have any trouble with them in the finale. Bang, poof.

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    1. Oh. I will have a LOT to say about this when it happens. I GUARANTEE.

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    2. Joss has even admitted he screwed the pooch on this one, but that doesn't fix it, does it?

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    3. Ooh, I never read that interview. Googling away!

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    4. I don't remember when he acknowledged the inconsistency in the killability of the turok-hans. It might even be in an episode commentary.

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