Ripper

Episode 2.8: The Dark Age. Original Airdate 11.10.97

"Giles's past comes back to haunt him as a demon he and Ethan Rayne summoned in their wild youth seeks them out in Sunnydale."

Zelda's Thoughts:

• This is another episode I tend to downgrade in its absence. I recognize its importance arc-wise, in terms of Giles's back story, and his relationship with both Jenny and Buffy, but it's not one I'm ever tempted to rewatch just for kicks.
• Giles's whole tirade against Buffy's cardio mix is delightful. "I know music. Music has notes. This is noise!"
• You see, it's irony because they think Giles is the tweediest tweed to ever tweed, but he was a way darker scamp than they will ever be (well, except maybe Willow).
• "Do you want me to answer that, or shall I just glare?"
• Yeah, see, the episode is delightfully funny. I need to stop being miss judgy judge.
• "What? Why does everyone always yell my name? I'm not deaf. And I can take a hint ... what's the hint?"
• Shenanigans! Why would the regular vamps need to raid the hospital for bags of blood? There are walking bags of blood called people everywhere. Only fangless vamps like Angel would need to take advantage of Delivery Day.

• 

  Basically the same person.

• Giles has stubble! AND A TATTOO. And he talks to himself in the mirror. He's basically the Green Goblin.
• "Yeah, you know, you don't see enough abaci!"
• Punching Ethan Rayne is always hilarious and satisfying.
• Cordy took down Ethan Rayne! That was awesome!
• Dude, seriously, Giles looks hot with a bit of stubble.
• "I feel pretty good about it. Does that make me a sociopath?" I haven't used this, but maybe I should. Does that make me a sociopath? 
• "What about me? I care about Giles." It's so cute! Cordy actively wants to join the Scoobies!
• "Be seeing you." Just like Ethan Rayne.
• "Three down, two to go." JUST LIKE DARK WILLOW.
• This is a major humbling episode for Giles/Buffy. He's forced to confront his dark past, and ask Buffy's - a child's - help in dealing with it, and Buffy has to realize that her father figure, who should always know best, has made mistakes - some big ones - and needs her help to fix them. But she steps up and reminds him that it's okay and he can forgive himself.
• "I actually kind of like you, it's just that I like myself a lot more."
• Cordy and Xander are arguing more and more. THAT'S BECAUSE NEXT EPISODE THEY START MAKING OUT.
• Oh look, I'm happy to see Angel! That's so weird. But his little hero moment is awesome. Also, his face is hilarious:

Hey Angel, Why the long face? 

• Shenanigans! If Buffy's so concerned about hiding her tattoo, maybe SHE SHOULDN'T WEAR CAMIS ALL THE TIME.
• Aw. sad Giles. I mean, sad Jenny too, but I'm mostly concerned about sad Giles.
• "The hills are not alive." // "I'm sorry to hear that ... I think."
• "It's not music, it's just meaningless sounds." // "There! Feel better?" // "Yes, thanks." These two, you guys.

Daniel's Thoughts:

• I feel the show should have made use of creepy janitor guy. 
• As badass as Giles’ old gang used to be, I feel they could have dealt with this situation.  
• Plus, it would have been nice to have more people around who knew Giles in his youth. 
• How exactly did Deirdre cross the pond while all possessed and stuff?  Was the whole gang living in the U.S.? [No, I called one in England - Giles]
• Shenanigans! Deirdre’s face was all green and icky but her legs were just fine.
• Based on this episode alone, I so want that Ripper spin-off.
• Who the heck is Amy Yip?  *uses Google* oh.  

• I love when Jenny plays with Giles.  It's so sweet. 
• There are police in Sunnydale?
• I don’t know why morgues in Sunnydale don’t have more security with the amount of vampires and other undeads that come back to life…
• So Xander and Cordelia are the only two students who need help with computers? Really?
• I think Ethan secretly likes being hit by Buffy.
• Aww. Cordelia wants to help!
• It seems like it would have been a lot less risky to use Xander and Cordelia’s idea of getting a dead body, rather than using Angel.  They could have at least cut the dead body’s head off.
• I wonder if this was supposedly the turning point for Jenny in regards to Angel.  He risked his life to save hers.  Because she was undercover All Along.
• It’s nice to see someone (Jenny) actually have long term effects caused by the monster of the week.
• So I have a few comments here that I didn't list as shenanigans but they're things that make for a clunky episode...so many things that make me say "yeah, but why..." I like the idea of this episode, I just think it was poorly executed.

Favorite Lines:

Zelda: "He probably sat in math class thinking, 'There should be more math. This could be mathier.'" - Buffy

Daniel: "Can you help me with a ticket? It's totally bogus.  It was a one-way street.  I was going one way." - Cordelia

90s Factoid:

Get a cell phone, Buff!

Arc/Continuity Stuff:

• Deidre and Phillip are Giles's old wild youth friends. They dead now. Ethan Rayne lives to taunt us another day.
• Angel comes to the hospital to get blood on Delivery Day.
• Our first time in Giles's apartment. It is lovely.
• GILES HAS A TATTOO.
• Xander's uncle Rory the taxidermist! First mention.
• Our second time using the library cage to imprison someone. Second time that someone broke out. Remind me why they think it's a great place to keep Oz?
• This is when Giles reveals that he did get into the dark magicks when he was in his early 20s, which belies his claim in Witch of never having done magic.

Stats:

Voiceover -GIles

Dead Humans - 1

Dead Undeads - 3

Giles Unconscious - 0, surprisingly

Giles Cleans His Glasses - 0, disappointingly

Buffy Breaks a Door - 0

Evil Reveal - 1 (Jenny is possessed)

Unevil Reveal - 0

Shenanigans Called - 3

Apocalypse Called - 0

What? What-ing a what?

Episode 2.7: Lie to Me. Original Airdate 11.3.97

"Buffy is lured into a trap by a group of undead wannabes who hope that Spike will make them vampires in exchange for giving him the Slayer."

Daniel's Thoughts:

Willow's fashion don't. What is this shirt?

• Worst mom ever. Not Joyce! Whoever left their kid in the middle of a playground at night in Sunnydale.
• Drusilla is so creepy! I love it!
• I like Angel's remorse and guilt when it comes to Drusilla.
• Why is Buffy on a rooftop except for a nice directorial shot and so she can accidentally come across Dru & Angel?
• I love whenever Cordelia speaks up in class.
• I hate Ford...mostly because I hate Jason Behr. He's such a boring actor. Here's a hint: don't watch Roswell.
• How many of us have sat in our rooms, moping, listening to "I Touch Myself"?
• Xander's "You're not wrong!" - I've used that. [Me too. My friends hate me for it. But they are, in this case, wrong. - Z]
• I love Chanterelle. I'm so glad she makes future appearances.
• Willow has a balcony leading to her bedroom!
• By letting Angel in, Willow is dooming the future of her goldfish.

• 

  Well, this is awkward.

• Willow's bad at lying...for now.
• Chanterelle is so sweet and innocent.
• Someone's dressed like Angel! ==>
• Spike to Ford: "I've known you for two minutes and I find you annoying." Preach.
• "The Lonely Ones," "The Lost Boys," "They just...sparkle..." People have found ways of romanticizing vampires since they were invented. I l like that BtVS doesn't really do that. [Everyone here should read Sunshine by Robin McKinley.]
• Empty threat. Buffy says she'll kill Ford, but she won't - as long as he remains human.
• Looking at Spike's face when Ford asks for his reward, I was sure he was just going to kill him. I was very surprised when we saw Ford emerge from the grave as a vampire. What does that say about Spike? He's a vampire. He didn't have to keep his promise.  

Zelda's Thoughts:

Okay, so this is one of my top ten right here, so please bear with me. It's just - this is when I fell in love. The second half of OMWF (my first ep) was a moment of "oh wow, who's that across the room?" Prophecy Girl was a moment of "you guys, I think this show and I could really have something special." But Lie to Me was the moment I fell for good. Specifically the moment at the end, the final lines (quoted below in our Favorite Lines section), and here's why:

I remember being very conscious of the episode title while watching this for the first time, and how prevalent that theme was in this episode - Buffy's people - her boyfriend, her childhood crush, her two best friends - spend a good chunk of the episode lying to her, or at the least, withholding the truth. The people she should be able to count on the most to be honest with her are betraying that trust. Watch SMG's face as the episode goes on - it becomes more and more closed off, less willing to reveal her true reactions as her shields go up. Coupling this  with the cavalry's only showing up at the Sunset Club once the battle is done, and this is really an episode where Buffy is forced to be the adult, to make the responsible heroic choices that will save the lives of the naive idiots like Chanterelle and Mark/Diego. But Buffy is not willing to let herself be a passive victim of her friends' dishonesty ("I don't need to understand, I just need to know.") - she demands the truth, even if none of it is anything she wants to know - that Angel drove a young girl mad, killed her whole family, turned her, and is allowing her to go free in Sunnydale, or that Ford is not only a cruel manipulator willing to let all the denizens of the Sunset Club die, but that he is dying in a truly horrible way. Buffy knows first-hand how awful it is to face death as a teenager, but she also knows the full truth, that that awfulness is never a sanction for murder. Part of growing up is facing these awful truths.

All of that adds up to a pretty good episode on its own, but it's the end bit that kills me. Buffy sits with Giles, waiting to kill Ford, and asks him, like a two year old with a scrape on her knee, if it gets better. And when Giles asks what she wants to hear, she invokes the episode's title: "Lie to me." Buffy would like to remain a child just a bit longer, to retain the fantasy that the world is simple, that truths are always true, and that people you love will be honest with you. And so I fell in love. Thank you for your time.

• Creepy playground ... on the backlot.
• Juliet Landau is really good at being quietly dangerous. "Oh, well, I'm not a person, see - " - so mad at being misunderstood.
• I'm confused why Angel doesn't just kill Dru. He knows she's psychotic and dangerous, even if she's weak right now. You can't tell me it's guilt. If his guilt were that bad, wouldn't he try to relieve her of the burden of being crazy by killing her? More evidence that Angel is just a big stupid stupidhead.
• Yaaaaay written and directed by Joss Whedon!



Xander's face as Cordy defends Marie Antoinette.
 Awesome.

• So in this instance, Cordy demonstrates very little understanding of history. I guess Shakespeare is her specialty?
• "Would I be imposing?" // "Oh, only in the literal sense."
• "Okay, once more with tension" shoutout to our blog!
• "See, you made him do that thing where he's gone!" Oh, Joss, you're so Jossy.
• Nice touch when Ford enters the Sunset Club, that we see a guy welding/rigging the door for the big event.
• So this vampire-worshipping bar is just the Bronze re-outfitted, right?
• Willow being scandalized at having a boy in her room is adorable.
• "Help? You mean like on homework? No, 'cause you're old and you already know stuff."
• "Really honed my brooding skills" leave it to Joss to hang a delightful lantern on the pretension that is Angel's melancholy.
• "Okay, but if there isn't anything weird - hey, that's weird."
• "Nice girl." "There aren't two of those in the world." SPOILER YES THERE ARE SOMETIMES
• So how did Ford know random blonde vamp would be a Spike minion? Does he just own all the local vamps?
• "Yeah I'm gonna have to go with Dead Boy on this one." // "Could you not call me that?"
• Bossy the cow. bahahaha. I love how much we're insulting Angel in this episode.
• "What, and miss the nitro-burning funny cars?"
• Oooh "isn't he supposed to be a good guy?" BECAUSE JENNY KNOWS BETTER ZOMG SPOILER [Again, I have a problem with this...because it still seems like the writers/Jenny don't know better. - D]
• "My book! It took one of my books!" Giles is so outraged
• Awww Spike is all jelly of Angel. I love it. JM is my favorite.
• "The bird's dead, Dru. You left it in the cage, and you didn't feed it, and now it's all dead, just like the last one. Oh, I'm sorry, baby. I'm a bad, rude man ... Would you like a new bird? One that's not dead?" love love love it all
• "Well, I don't go much for tradition." yeah, Ford, and if you really knew who Spike was, like you claim, you'd know better.
• Ford's obsession with following the rules of storytelling and bad guy posturing is fascinating. I want to talk about it more, but I think I've already written way too much this week. Short version: he's a man who's lost control of his body and so is seeking to control everything else in reaction - right down to structuring his whole scheme so that people will play pre-assigned roles in his head - Spike as the mustache-twirling villain, Buffy as the self-righteous but ignorant hero, and himself as the sufferer - all to lead up to his reveal. But Buffy doesn't respond the way he wants, because she knows better. See: my discussion in Inca Mummy Girl, and Buffy's line regarding ends and means - nothing warrants murder.
• "And my GOD, could you have a dorkier outfit?"
• Buffy's form of mercy is killing Ford herself, so that he doesn't become a vampire. Because she knows. She's seen what hell looks like. She's seen what death looks like. And she's seen the ugliness of vampires up close.
• I love how Buffy scans the room of vampires feasting. She could take down vamp by vamp, or she could go for the Queen (Dru) and neutralize all of them.
• "Uh. ... where's the doorknob?" snort
• "She's NOT stuck in the basement."
• Oh Ford. You died twice. Just like Buffy.
• So ... did Ford get buried in Sunnydale? Or did Buffy and Giles go to an LA cemetery to wait for him?

Favorite Lines:

Daniel: "Um...uh, there was a, a cat. A cat here, and, um, then there was a-another cat...and they fought. The cats. And...then they left." - Goofy Buffy

Zelda: This entire sequence:

Buffy: Does it ever get easy?

Giles: You mean life?

Buffy: Yeah. Does it ever get easy?

Giles: What do you want me to say?

Buffy: Lie to me.

Giles: Yes, it's terribly simple. The good guys are always stalwart and true, the bad guys are easily distinguished by their pointy horns or black hats, and we always defeat them and save the day. No one ever dies, and everybody lives happily ever after.

Buffy: Liar.

90s Factoid:

Buffy's ginormous cordless phone.

Arc/Continuity Stuff:

• Buffy used to eat Oreos dunked in apple juice
• Buffy went to Hemery in LA with Ford.
• Buffy, Xander, Willow, and Cordy all have History together. Buffy, Xander, and Willow have French together.
• First appearance of Chanterelle/Lily/Anne.
• Angel now has permission to enter the Rosenberg abode.
• Female Blonde Minion of Spike steals one of Giles's books.
• Buffy tells Angel she loves him.
• Angel drove Drusilla insane, tortured her and killed her family, and then killed her. Nice guy.
• Lucius is Spike's offscreen minion.

Stats:

Voiceover - none

Dead Humans - 1

Dead Undeads - 3

Giles Unconscious - 0

Giles Cleans His Glasses - 0

Buffy Breaks a Door - 0

Evil Reveal - 1 (Ford is a dumb shit)

Unevil Reveal - 0

Shenanigans Called - 0

Apocalypse Called - 0

Well This is Just...Neat

Episode 2.6: Halloween. Original Airdate 10.27.97

"On Halloween, Buffy and her friends patronize an unusual costume shop where customers turn into whatever costume they are wearing."

Zelda's Thoughts:

• OH THANK GOD A GOOD EPISODE.
• Ahahaha throwing a gord at the vampire, then a pumpkin = Zelda laughs. I do love me some slapstick.
• Again, why does Snyder want a juvenile delinquent watching children? What is his deal? This could backfire horribly on him.
• Hi Larry! Who woulda thought you would get used so much on the show after this episode?
• "A black eye heals, Buffy, but cowardice has an unlimited shelf life."

• Buffy and Willow planning to steal Giles's journals is so freaking adorable I could die. "Most importantly, it would be wrong."
• Also I LOVE Willow's face in the window ======>
• "Do you stuff your own shirts, or do you send them out?"
• I love this episode. So cute and funny. UNLIKE FRIKKING REPTILE BOY.
• Aww Buffy wanting to be a princess. Very sweet.
• "Still, I think I'd prefer being able to vote."
• "You're never gonna get noticed if you keep hiding!" = Willow's valuable lesson of the week. Of course, Oz noticed her anyway, so ... that kinda disproves that theory.
• More evidence that Spike is a modern vampire = having his minions videotape Buffy. Also more evidence that Spike is a stalker.
• "Do you love my insides? The parts you can't see?" Dru's and Buffy's insecurities are the same.
• ...Xander has a toy gun in a public school. Xander gets expelled?
• "Is mister I'm-the-lead-singer-I'm-so-great-I-don't-have-to-show-up-for-my-date-or-even-call gonna be there?" // "Yeah, you know, he's just going by Devon now."
• ZOMG THE CHILD'S A DEMON. Yay. I love this show:

Child or little person in make-up?  You decide.

• Xander's onscreen gunswap was pretty well done.
• Hah. Buffy faints.
• "She's not Buffy." // "Who's Buffy?" // "Oh, this is fun."
• Man, I love so many things about this episode. But SMG's attempt at an accent is not one of them.
• I love it. The dialogue is so sharp in this episode.
• "Mrs. Summers? Good, she's gone." Of course she's gone. Joyce is never home. [Worst. Mom. Ever. -Blog Gods]
• Methinks this is the start of Cordelia having a thing for Xander.
• "Well, this is just ... neat." I love you Spike.
• Yay it's the Buffy/Xander/Willow picture again!
• "I'm just meant to look pretty, and then someone nice will marry me. Probably a Baron." It's kind of cute because she's not exactly what a noblewoman of the time would be like, but she's exactly like what Buffy was imagining a girl like that would be like (a princess with no responsibilities) without fully examining the scope of it.
• So...the vamp who gets into the house is clearly not a real vamp because otherwise he wouldn't have been able to get in without an invite. I hope Angel didn't kill him.
• OMG Giles's reaction to Willow walking through the wall:

Thanks V for this gif.  Read Coincidence & Leprechauns.  Link is =====>

• "I'm a ghost!" // "The ghost of what, exactly?"
• Spike already has new minions ... tiny demon children. Boy works fast.
• "Hello Ripper." GASP GASP GASP
• "It's strange, but ... beating up that pirate gave me a weird sense of closure." d'aww.
• And Angel carries Princess Buffy, because she is utterly useless. And in this episode I gain a tiny bit of respect for Angel, because he's so clearly annoyed at what a useless doily she is.
• OMG Giles is a badass and beating the snot out of Ethan eeeeeeeeeee. I guess he is a good sparring partner ... just maybe not against a supernaturally strong slayerperson. Then he calmly cleans his hands with his handkerchief. Of course he STILL won't clean his freaking glasses, but I guess we can't have everything.
• Big props to the whole cast btw for this episode - good work and range all around (accent notwithstanding).
• Yay! Buffy's back.
• "You know what? It's good to be me." We all learned that lesson, yes?
• And Spike runs away again. He's really good at that. Now he'll live to snark another day.
• So this time everyone remembers what happened during magic fun time ... how will this get explained to the entire freaking town?
• Aw and yay, Willow's got her swagger.
• Not a shenanigan - Oz is driving a European van and they haven't moved the steering wheel over yet.
•  "Who IS that girl?" THEIRLOVEISSOTRUE
• Shenanigans! "I hated the girls back then, especially the noblewomen." Yeah, that's just because you were such a drunken lout, they wouldn't give you the time of day. He says he wanted someone "interesting." That's not you, Buffy. That was Darla.
• "Be seeing you." Yay! More Ethan to come!

Daniel's Thoughts:

• I think this might be the first time I've noticed that the majority of vamps Buffy fights in the opening sequences are men.  Actually I think they all might be men. Odd, that.
• I like that Cordy & Angel actually at least somewhat get along, preparing for his spin-off. [Ew. - Z]
• I love love love Willow & mischievous plan to get the watcher's diary.
• Shenanigans!  "Who is she?"//"It doesn't say":

Umm...does so.  It's Sarah...something

• I love that Cordy still doesn't know that Angel is a vampire.
• Cordy: "When it comes to dating, I'm the Slayer."
• "You're a cat"//"That's just my costume" Hee.
• I had the same note as Zelda - it seems like this is the first time Cordelia shows a bit of interest in Xander.  I think it's the gun.  Chicks dig guys with big...guns.
• Such great dialogue in this episode and the actors sell it.  Really good back & forth.
• It's Ethan Rayne!  Star of "Chaos Bleeds", an awesome Buffy video game.
• Shenanigans! When Giles tells Willow to leave, after a few seconds you hear a door open and close.  This is awful on so many levels.  Someone in some meeting made sure to say they had to add a sound effect and no one at all thought this was a mistake since Willow is a freaking ghost??
• I love the "Be Seeing You" note that Ethan leaves for Giles: An obvious reference to the cult series The Prisoner, a surreal British series that paved the way for shows like Buffy.

Well played, writers.  Well played.

Crossfire!

Daniel: We need a crossfire.

Zelda:  But we agree on everything.

Daniel:  But we need a crossfire.

Zelda:  No, we don't.

Favorite Lines:

Zelda;  "It's not a demon, it's a car." // "What does it want." // "Is this woman insane?" - Willow/Buffy/Xander
Daniel: "She couldn't have dressed up like Xena?" ~Willow

Arc/Continuity Stuff:

• Cordy's dating Devon again.
• Larry's first appearance! Not yet gay.
• Halloween is supposed to be quiet time for vampires. This is rarely actually true in Sunnydale.
• Cordelia still doesn't know Angel's a vampire. Even after they tell her he's one. Several times.
• Ethan Rayne's first appearance.
• Giles's nickname is Ripper. BECAUSE HE USED TO BE ALL DARK AND STUFF AND WAS FRIENDS WITH ETHAN RAYNE.
• Drusilla has prophetic visions.

Stats:

Voiceover - Giles

Dead Humans - 0

Dead Undeads - 1

Giles Unconscious - 0

Giles Cleans His Glasses - 0

Buffy Breaks a Door - 0

Evil Reveal - 1 (Ethan)

Unevil Reveal - 0

Shenanigans Called - 3

Apocalypse Called - 0

You guys, I just ... hate you guys.

Don't drink and slay, kids.

Episode 2.5: Reptile Boy. Original Airdate 10.13.97

"Buffy and Cordelia attend a frat party where they are offered as human sacrifices to a reptile-like creature." Yes, it's just as dumb as it sounds.

Daniel's Thoughts:

• Hey! It's Lucky Spender #3, Greg Vaughn, from General Hospital! It's actually nice seeing him play a jerk.  I'm so used to seeing him as a nice guy.
• I will never get what college guys want with HS girls...it's very pervy, if you ask me.

"My name is Douche, and this is my fratbrother,
Other Douche. We park outside high schools."

"I am a dick! It's a metaphor!"

• In the opening scene, Xander seems better at braiding Willow's hair than Buffy is...
• I love the cemetery in the WB parking lot.  The tombstones looks so incredibly fake.  Is this an Ed Wood production?
• Cordelia's fake laugh is awesome. 
• I've never hidden the fact that I'm way more into the sci-fi/fantasy/comedy side of Buffy and not so much into the romantic side but lines like "When you kiss me, I want to die!" make me want to hurl.
• Again with the weird random computer searches, Willow.  Let's see how many words end in "ent", so we can see where that broken bracelet came from.  Again, I know we're supposed to suspend disbelief but I can accept vampires and werewolves faster than I can accept that Willow did a computer search and found out that a bracelet with the word "ent" came from Kent Preparatory School.
• And we have our very first of what's to become many "penis monsters." ==>

• I like Willow's blow-up at Angel & Giles, especially since she realizes it was something she had to do but solved nothing.
• SHENANIGANS!  No one invited Angel into the frat house.  It should be protected, the same way other houses are protected because people do live there.  
• Cordelia is just on this episode.  Everything she does is hilarious.
• I also like how the third "victim" is just as feisty as Buffy is.
• Sometimes I can like Xander.  Nik's non-reaction to Angel standing right behind him right after he's mocking him is hilarious.
• YAY! Jonathan is back!

Zelda's Thoughts:

• Ugh. We have entered one of the bottom ten episodes in the series.
• These tombstones leave something to be desired in terms of specificity:

Mother

Dad

• Cordy's fake laugh sounds kind of like she's crying.
• Also, who was her non-speaking acolyte? Where's Harmony?
• Awww Buffy's dreaming of Angel!
• "Well, I'm not a demon...which is why you should let go now."
• "No, I don't think you know what it's like to be 16. And a GIRL. And a SLAYER."
• Yay. I love how not interested in fratboys Buffy is.
• Ew fratboys hitting on high schoolers. Ew ew ew these people are gross.
• Seriously, why is no one calling an "ew" on this? These guys are hitting on sixteen-year-olds!
• Aw Giles. I think maybe your fighting prowess is not enough up to the level of sparring with Buffykins.
• Angel is wearing maroon! A color!
• See, Angel recognizes the Ew of a man his age (or even apparent age) dating a high schooler. I guess this is to point out to us why Buffy's hackles aren't up higher about the fratboys hitting on her.
• This episode isn't funny enough to mitigate its badness. Blarg blah blooooo please end the episode now.
• "Askew means cockeyed." "Oh." See? it's not that funny.
• I also really hate humiliation plotlines, so the hazing of Xander is just unpleasant too.
• But I guess ... yay Buffy turning down alcohol and being a responsible teenager?
• Except for then she takes a drink after all. Stupid Buffy.
• Well. Buffy and Cordy sobered up quickly, especially considered they were roofied.
• "Angel, how do you shave?" Willow gets the one funny moment of the episode.
• The one not-loathable thing in this episode is Willow yelling at Angel and Giles.
• Oh god. The stupid awful phallus monster. Ugh ew blah.
• Why not call the episode "Snake Boy?" Reptile Boy is a stupid non-informative title.
• Haha Xander got to punch the douche...and realized that punching douches hurts your hand.
• "And YOU. You're going to jail for 15,000 years."
• "I told one lie, I had one drink." // "Yes, and you were very nearly devoured by a giant demon snake. The words 'let that be a lesson' are a tad redundant at this juncture." Yay, but. This episode still sucks.
• Awww yay more Jonathan!
• "Angel Angel Angel. Does every conversation we have have to come around to that freak? Hey man, how's it going?"

Favorite Lines:

Daniel:  "Oh Buffy, it's like we're sisters, but with really different hair!" - Cordelia

Zelda: "Some guy's attacking Buffy with a sword. And also there's a big snake." - Willow. Why couldn't we just summarize the whole episode like that and then not have to watch it?

90s Factoid:

Look! The TV has knobs! KNOBS!!!

Arc/Continuity Stuff:

• Cordy is attempting to date a fratboy ... Poor Devon?
• Of course she's apparently also attempting to date a Jonathan.

Stats:

Voiceover - Giles

Dead Humans - 0

Dead Undeads - 1

Giles Unconscious - 0

Giles Cleans His Glasses - 0 

Buffy Breaks a Door - 0

Evil Reveal - 1 (Tom)

Unevil Reveal - 0

Shenanigans Called - 1

Apocalypse Called - 0

I'm so stuffy. Give me a scone.

Episode 2.4: Inca Mummy Girl. Original Airdate 10.6.97

"A beautiful Inca princess who was buried alive in a tomb 500 years ago is brought back to life."

Zelda's Thoughts:

Okay. Man. I want to like this episode. Or rather, I want to not hate it. I want it to not be shrouded under Reptile Boy's shadow of pure suckage. So I try to keep reminding myself that it's not as bad as I keep thinking it is. And it's not, it's not as bad as I keep thinking it is. But. It's also not good. Here's my main beef: I get that the Mummy (I'm not calling her Ampata because Ampata is a dude) is meant as a bit of a foil for Buffy - she was chosen as a sacrifice to protect her people; Buffy was also chosen, not necessarily as a sacrifice (though that could be a side effect), but as a protector of her people. Neither one had a say in the assignment of this role, and both have had to play with the hand they're dealt. But. The Mummy makes bad, wrong, immoral, WRONG choices. Choices Buffy would never make. It's the same situation that comes up with Ford in "Lie to Me," but I don't think the Mummy is given the same level of condemnation, though she should be - "You have a choice. You don't have a good choice, but you have a choice. You're opting for mass murder here, and nothing you say is gonna make that okay." Nothing is gonna make the Mummy's behavior okay, and by the way NO KILLING JONATHAN IN HIS VERY FIRST EPISODE. Now to the bullets:

• "It's the Ubersuck." Is this our first time hearing them use "Uber?"
• There's a whole catalogue with pictures of the exchange students. So why doesn't Buffy have a picture of male Ampata?
• "What he lacks in smarts he makes up for in lack of smarts."
• Sure is convenient that Buffy and crew provide Inca Mummy Girl with all the needed exposition while standing over her - his name's Ampata and he's arriving at the Sunnydale Bus Depot.
• They are upping their body count a lot this season, especially considering how bloodless the end of the season one was (save the finale).
• Buffy wins her argument with Giles by punching his punching bag over and over and over. Awesome.
• It's good Xander is trying to not encourage Willow's feelings. But ... sad Willow.
• You know, if we were tracking Giles taking off his glasses, rather that the actual cleaning of them, our stats would be huge.
• Awww the Scoobies realizing that their joke about the Mummy killing Rodney ... might not be a joke.
• Xander's condescending signing/speaking slowly = obnoxious. Can we stop it now?
• So...was male Ampata gonna sleep in Buffy's room? How in the hell would Joyce be okay with that? WORST MOM EVER.
• Shenanigans! How would Buffy turning off her bedroom light take the light off the bodyguard's face? Is he in the tree? Maybe this is the same way Warren's magic bullet spoilered spoiler.
• "She doesn't have to talk." Ew.
• "It is very old, valuable ... YOU SHOULD HIDE IT." Nice try, Mummy.
• TWINKIES. Yay. I want Twinkies now. "That's why you bring two."
• "I like you like it ... please don't learn from my English."
• SHENANIGANS! Willow playing with the frog. Where's that frog fear, Rosenberg???

Credit to V at Coincidence and Leprechauns for pointing this out.

• She's so freaking disingenuous. See, this is why the Mummy is a full-on villain and not someone I can feel sympathy for, even with the parallels drawn between her and Buffy. She wantonly kills dudes, foolishly flirts with Xander when she has to know where that will lead, and spits all these lies at Giles about the seal, and tries to convince them it's the bodyguard who is the threat. The actress is playing her very sympathetically/ingenuey, but ... she's a bad bad person.
• "Hey, look at us. We came up with a plan. A good plan. ... No, bad plan! I have other plans! Dance plans! ...Cancelled plans."
• Buffy's wearing her depression overalls again. Maybe I'm confusing regular overalls with her depression overalls.
• Aw, I like the picture of Buffy and Willow and Xander. Especially because of how they'll keep using it for the rest of the series.
• Nice quiet touch of Buffy finding boy's clothes in Ampata's luggage.
• Angel is AWOL again.
• "Get. Punchy. You. Fruit drinky."
• Poor sad eskimo Willow.
• Man, Xander really does have shit luck when it comes to romance. A Slayer who ain't ever gonna love him, a praying mantis, a Mummy, and next - CORDELIA.
• TINY LITTLE JONATHAN IN HIS AUSTRALIAN OUTFIT.
• "Next time you should probably say shrug." ...that was said in a really mean tone, Xander. Ugh. Stop making my job of defending you against Daniel so hard! [...-D]
• Nooooooooooooooo don't kill Jonathan!
• And see? This? Where she actually does kiss Xander and start to suck him dry? Un-fucking-forgiveable, especially if she loves him as she claims to do. She is a bad person!
• Awwww Oz tried to talk to Willow but she ran away! THEIRLOVEISSOTRUE
• Oh good, now she's going to try to kill Giles. She's the worst person ever. She's worse than Britta.
• And now she's trying to kill Willow. I can't even.
• Also you shouldn't try to bury Buffy alive. She really hates that.
• I am literally yelling at the tv for Giles to clean his glasses. They're covered in Mummy dust! I'm sure they need a good cleaning!
• I'm not buying Buffy's defense of the Mummy's actions. Not a bit. Because she's an awful person. And she did things Buffy would never ever do.

Daniel's Thoughts:

• Bully Rodney likes nerdy Willow!
• Poor Willow.  So sad cause Xander likes yet another girl that's not her.  She really just...needs to discover girls already.
• Welcome to Sunnydale, Ampata. Now die!  
• It's really not nice for the school of Sunnydale to invite guests to a city that has such a high mortality rate. 
• And it's a lucky coincidence that Ampata and mummy girl were generally from the same region.  Because I don't think she could have been called "Sven".
• I love whenever they show Giles with his little itty bitty tea cup.  Giles wears Tweed.  He drinks tea.  We get it, he's English.
• Is Ampata wearing Joyce's jeans? 
• Willow looks so cute in her little Eskimo outfit.  This is why we love Willow.
• One of the Cordettes looks like Kirsten Dunst.
• This Rabbi is rockin' out:

• SHENANIGANS! It's really nice that this museum has no security guards.  People can scrape ancient masks, steal plates, have knock down, drag out fights, break in and try to replace and glue together broken mystical plates, etc...etc...etc...
• And why is Xander stopping Willow from having her first lesbian kiss??  Oh...cause it'll kill her.  Carry on, then.

Crossfire!

Xander: Oh, yeah. Fall for the old 'let me translate that ancient seal for ya' come on. Tsh. D'ya know how many times I've used that?

Zelda: Ha!

Daniel: PSh. Shut up Xander.

Zelda: It's funny!

Daniel: It's not funny!

Zelda: You're not funny.

Daniel: Your face is not funny.

Favorite Lines:

Zelda: "That girl. Who is she? No not her ... the Eskimo." - Oz. AWWWW I CAN'T STAND THE CUTE YOU CAN SEE HIM FALL IN LOVE. 

This is the look of love, ladies and gents

Daniel: "Well, it involves a feather boa and the theme from A Summer Place." - Oz

90s Factoid:

Work those mummyjeans  momjeans , Ampata.

Arc/Continuity Stuff:

• First appearance of Devon, who is currently dating Cordy.
• First appearance and performance by Oz's band Dingoes Ate My Baby.
• Oz's first appearance. Yay Oz! Oz's hair is orange today. Today.
• Jonathan's first appearance! Yay Jonathan!

Stats:

Voiceover - Giles

Dead Humans - 3

Dead Undeads - 1

Giles Unconscious - 1

Giles Cleans His Glasses - 0

Buffy Breaks a Door -0

Evil Reveal - 0

Unevil Reveal - 1

Shenanigans Called - 3

Apocalypse Called - 0