Want. Take. Have.

Episode 3.14: Bad Girls. Original Airdate 2.9.99

"Faith convinces Buffy to live on the wild side, with fatal consequences."

Zelda's Thoughts:

• "Count of three isn't a plan! It's Sesame Street!"
• Yay the Mayor I love himmmmmm.
• "Everyone, of course, meaning me." I have ... probably used this.
• It's kind of sad, because all Cordy has existed for the last several episodes is entering a scene to snark and then stalk away.
• See, already the snark between Xander and Cordelia is way more in character than in Zeppo.
• YES YES YES ALEXIS DENISOF AS TWERPY WESLEY YES YES YES (although I positively loathed him the first time I watched this season - even his first season on Angel (SPOILERS) - it's his subsequent work that makes me love him and appreciate TwerpyWesley)
• "Is he evil? ... The last one was evil."
• BAHAHAHAHA Buffy and Giles leaning away from Wesley:

• I love every moment of trolling Wesley. I love it so hard.
• "New Watcher?" // "New Watcher." // "Screw that."
• DOUBLE GLASSES CLEANING!!!!!

Two Watchers, No Waiting

• Oops. Buffy lost the amulet.
• "Wait. Stop. Think." // "No. No. No." Pretty much sums up Faith's problems as a Slayer.
• Yay. Buffy got the amulet back.
• Troll Wesley more! It's wonderful magic happiness!
• "You're not helping." // "No. I feel just sick about it." Theeeere's my spirit animal!
• Aw Buffy's getting into the fun danger slayerage with Faith and Willow's feeling neglected ut oh.
• Man, the HoYay is strong in this one.

Open your heart to me, baby,
I hold the lock and you hold the key

• Great sequence of the Slayergirls dancing it out.
• Wesley is so beyond ineffectual.
• Oh hey Balthazar. You're all big and gross ain'tcha. And not nearly as dead as Wesley thinks you are.
• So Balthazar is a demon-thing, worshiped by vampires. There's hope for Adam's plan yet!
• "We need a little more firepower than none."
• Theft is bad, kids. Do not try this at home. Or, you know. other people's homes.
• Like seriously, Buffy, did you think randomly robbing a store for funsies would end well?
• Hey! A deeply stupid Sunnydale policeman!
• WOW with the HoYay.
• Seriously, these cops ARE deeply stupid. They got a very good look at both Buffy and Faith, and the police department has GOT to be familiar with Buffy at this point, after, y'know, they accused her of murdering Ted and Kendra. I call Shenanigans they weren't waiting on her doorstep the next morning.
• I'm assuming their main goal with Balthazar was to gross us out. They were very successful. I hate watching these scenes.
• See, Faith would have had time to catch herself. She should have - Buffy saw enough to yell for her to stop - the slaying of Allan Finch didn't happen that quickly. But Faith refuses to Wait. Stop. Think.
• Oh god, it's so sad to watch Allan Finch and Buffy stare into each other's eyes and they both realize he's dying. Even if he was working for evil, that was way harsh, Tai.
• Faith is feeling the guilt, it's not that she's just a sociopath and not going to feel guilt. She's terrified of that guilt and that's why she shuts it down and rationalizes her entitlement to play god.
• "A trade. Intriguing. No, wait, boring - pull off his kneecaps."
• AD is pretty hilariously twitchy and wibbly as Wesley.
• Yeah, Giles, headbutting a vamp. And then with a sword. Giles wins at everything. Wesley wins at nothing.
• "When he rises, you'll wish I killed you all." Foreshadowing! 
• Seriously, Harry Groener = best guest star in the history of all things.
• Also, this is just the best prop ever:

• Sorry, Faith, all the perfumes of Arabia will not sweeten your little hand. #Shakespeared
• "Being a Slayer is not the same as being a killer." Buffy understands the line, and that she was getting close to crossing it with her reckless behavior with Faith. Faith refuses to acknowledge that she's crossed it. "No, you don't get it - I don't care." It's a lie, but if she can convince herself it's true, then she can keep moving.
• And I love that the episode ends on a quiet awkwardness after that line.

Daniel's Thoughts:

• Faith is such a guy with the locker room talk about Xander.  But I love the continuity and I'm glad it wasn't just dropped.
• "Count of three isn't a plan, it's Sesame Street" - heh.
• Allan Finch: "I like Cathy".  Aww - he's so sweet.  How did he ever get involved with the Mayor?
• Willow got in!  To Harvard! Yale! Wesleyan!  But...it doesn't matter because she'll end up in Sunnydale, anyway.  Sunnydale...with its University.  The one next to the Starbucks that just popped up, too.
• Wesley!!!  Has anyone seen Much Ado yet?  I hear he's fab. [He is pretty good. I'll reserve the rest of my comments til I see the movie again in better circumstances. - Z]
• Buffy: "Is he evil?"  Hehe.  But also, valid....since the last one was.
• Oh Alexis Denisof.  You are so wonderful.
• "I didn't get this job because of my looks."//"I really really believe that." Hush Buffy, Wesley is adorable. [And so say all of us. - Z]

Adorable

• Double glasses wipe!
• Also - Faith's "Screw that" is awesome - but those weird hand movements!  I really need to get my pal Lucas to do a gif of all Eliza's weird hand gestures so y'all know what I'm talking about.
• Faith!  You are such a bad influence!
• "Preparation, preparation, preparation."//"That's one word, three times."  Such a witty episode.
• Giles/Tony Head is wonderful in this episode, too.  There seems to be something so freeing about being fired...  Also, it appears that Buffy has fully forgiven him for the events in "Helpless"
• Dude, Buffy - stop interrupting Willow.  She's in test mode!
• Also, jealous Willow!  Aww!
• Did the teacher really not see Buffy climbing out the window?
• Buffy and Faith's milkshake brings all the boys to the yard:

• Balthazar is so gross.  Must have been really hard to get into that make-up.
• Deputy Allan Finch :(
• There is a ton of death in this episode.  But mostly undeads.
• Giles with a sword is AWESOME.
• Oh Faith, won't you just let Buffy in??  She wants to heeeelppp!
• Also, she says ABOAT again but I've lost track about how many times she does this.

Hey! I made a Sporcle game!  Check it out: Buffy - Who said what?

Favorite Lines:

Zelda: "Whenever Giles sends me on a mission, he always says 'please.' And afterwards I get a cookie." - Buffy. Everything about this is perfect, especially her chirping delivery of cookie, and Giles smiling but trying not to, in response.

Daniel: "The count of three isn't a plan.  It's Sesame Street" - Buffy.

Arc/Continuity Stuff:

• Recurrings: Faith, Trick, The Mayor, Finch, Joyce
• First appearance: Wesley Wyndam-Pryce
• Faith is quizzing Buffy about if she ever hooked up with Xander. Because Faith totally did.
• First mention of the Mayor's Ascension.
• Buffy is suspicious of Wesley because the last new Watcher was evil.
• "I hate it when they drown me." Shoutout to Prophecy Girl!
• Xander's eye twitches every time Buffy says Faith's name. Apparently. And also only in this scene.
• The Mayor is responsible for crippling Balthazar.
• The Ascension is in 100 days, and the Mayor is invincible until then.

Stats:

Oz's Hair - black

Dead Humans - 1 (Allan Finch, R.I.P)

Dead Undeads - 11

Giles Unconscious - 0

Giles Cleans His Glasses - 1

Buffy Breaks a Door - 0

Evil Reveal - 0

Unevil Reveal - 0

Shenanigans Called - 1

Apocalypse Called - 0

Did I Mention That I'm Having a Very Strange Night?

OH HEY WE BROKE 100 DEAD UNDEADS WITH THIS EPISODE! CONGRATS, BUFFY!

Xander and his thing

Episode 3.13: The Zeppo. Original Airdate 1.26.99

"Xander experiences an adventure of his own when he encounters a group of reanimated corpses out to construct a bomb. Meanwhile, Buffy and her friends battle the forces of evil when the Hellmouth reopens."

Daniel's Thoughts:

• Willow is starting to show off her witchy powers!
• I love that these are purely female demons
• Bullies, so accurate - no matter what Xander says, they just spit off fighting words without any context
• I think I like this episode mostly because I can kind of identify with High School Xander a little bit here
• Of course, I never bought a car just to have a 'thing'
• Buffy had three jellies!  How does she stay so skinny?  Ah yes, fighting vamps and stuff
• But way to throw Buffy under the bus, Willow.  
• Still, I like Giles's little snit about not getting a jelly doughnut
• I love this stupid plot - it's so ridiculously funny.
• And Nick actually shines in this episode
• And yes, it's a little odd that they've never really treated Xander with such kid gloves before and never really do again, but I like the story/episode enough that I don't mind the contrivance fairy
• Awww, Xander is so desperate, he's trying to hang out with Angel
• The knife's name is Katie!

• So these zombies don't actually follow the rules of normal zombies...  
• Yeah, I know Faith did say that slaying makes her hungry and horny - but Xander, really?
• And poor Xander - losing it to a girl who will never ever call him back
• The only thing I like about this schmoopy Angel/Buffy scene is how they show how annoyingly schmoopy these scenes really are.
• And I love that after Xander leaves, the schmoopy music comes back
• And I think showing a B-plot as an A-plot shows that the rest of the world matters and though Buffy & company are trying to save the world, that's not the only thing happening in the world. 
• Although I think that point might have been made better if it was someone like Jonathan starring in this episode
• I love the zombie getting beheaded by the mailbox
• "Note to self!"  sounds like a 80s/90s sitcom title starring Soleil Moon Frye or something.

• I love the monster that comes out of the hellmouth in the library - but it all seems to be repaired very quickly by the next episode
• The countdown on the bomb is totally off.  The beeps match the seconds only when the clock is on camera.  Otherwise, it would have gone off by now
• But I still like Xander's speech - it's clever and brave.  Two things he'll never be again.
• And at the end, I like that Xander finally learns that being silent is part of being cool.  (This is not something he'll retain.)

Zelda's Thoughts:

• Ugh. I hate this episode. I'm not alone in that, am I?
• I just feel like it's working too hard, at making everyone else treat him like he's completely useless. It feels Out of Character, the degree to which everyone is behaving this way. I know Giles and Angel think Xander's useless and Cordelia's suffering from Scornedwomanitis, but Buffy and Willow are not usually this condescending. And the writers are doing it to make the point they want to make about Xander's actual value, etc., but because it's so overdone and feels out of character to me, I don't believe it, I don't trust it, and it feels unearned.
• AND AND AND they make the point in much better ways in later episodes. The Replacement is a marvelous example of Xander realizing his worth. The season finales usually give him some kind of badass moment (leading the army of students in Graduation Day, the glorified bricklayer picking up a spare in The Gift, and other fun moments (yes, yes, yellow crayon); my point is, they know how to correctly affirm Xander's worth in proper context of who he typically is, but for the purposes of this episode, they overexaggerate his perceived non-worth, both in his eyes and in the treatment by the rest of the Scoobies. It's lazy writing and it shows.
• Also Shenanigans! that Xander would playing catch with the jocks. So many shenanigans.
• Xander's spazz is overdone too. And not terribly funny. (well, the Jimmy Olsen joke was good)
• The cafeteria food looks naaaaaaaaaasty. Yay realism!
• The Oz scene might be the best part though. "short non-committal phrases"
• "Just need to find my thing." DIRTY
• The light in this episode is bothering me a lot. A bunch of scenes clearly shot in late afternoon/early evening pretending they are ... other times. YOU CAN'T FOOL ME, CALIFORNIA SUN.
• "This is my thing!" // "Is this a penis metaphor?" Buffy gets me.
• Haha Xander bored by the girl who's into cars.
• Angel, doing his scene of dark foreboding doomy brood of the week. Thanks, Angel! See you next time.
• I'm glad they acknowledge Jack O'Toole is way too old for high school.
• That's a big knife. I can't wait to tell my friends. They don't have a knife this big.
• Oh look a cop in Sunnydale. I wonder if he's deeply stupid.
• Xander's car chick clearly is. Like deliberately oblivious to Jack waving a knife in Xander's face.
• I do like how chill/stoked Bob is about Jack's bringing him back from the dead.
• Man, it's just not Giles's month. First he gets fired by the Watcher's Council, then the glowy spirit guide blows him off:

aka, fuck the hell off

• Even the treatment of the apocalypse feels kind of out of character. The characters are all so grave and melodramatic and my god SOAPY when it comes to Angel, but the episode itself is laughing at all of this. There's self-referential humor, and there's out of character self-mockery by an entire show of itself.
• blah blah blah cakebomb blah blah blah Faith sex blah blah blah
• Grabbing one of the zombieboys by the arm and dragging him by the car is pretty cool though, I gotta say.
• I like that in the midst of the high school chase, one of the zombieboys notices the Hellmouth battles.
• I do enjoy a good hallway chase scene - Xander chases zombieboy, then runs back, chased by scary apocalypse demons.
• And I like that Xander does scare Jack into deactivating the bomb. With his words. Just think if he had a sweet story about a yellow crayon. He could save the world!
• Hey, Oz killed someone! But a zombie someone, so it's okay.
• So I guess things are okay between Giles and Buffy now.
• The one thing I do find interesting is, just like the rest of the Scoobies never find out how Xander spent his night (except for the sexytiems), so we never find out fully what this latest apocalypse was about, how it involved Angel, or how they defeated it. Beyond that? Blah. Fuck this episode.

Favorite Lines:

Daniel: Xander: "Is it about the talking? You know, the way you tend to express yourself in short, non-committal phrases?"// Oz: "Could be."

Zelda: "I always have a jelly. I'm always the one that says, 'Let's have a jelly in the mix.'" - Giles

90s Factoid:

guys wearing necklaces with supershort chains

Bob: "Whoa! Walker, Texas Ranger. You been taping 'em?" // Jack: "Every ep."

because 1 - Walker freaking Texas Ranger, and 2 - taping shows. On video tape. [Hey, I taped Buffy on video! - Z]

Arc/Continuity Stuff:

• "Previously on Buffy the Vampire Slayer: 'You're fired.'" No, seriously. That's the entire previously for this episode. It was amazing.
• Recurring: Faith, Willy the Snitch.
• Willow's getting better at the magic, helping Buffy on slaying missions.
• It's full moon time, and Oz is locking himself in the completely foolproof and safe book cage.
• Jack's friend Bob is buried right in front of Alpert.
• A new kind of zombie, way more sentient than those in Dead Man's Party
• current magic shop is called: Uncle Bob's Magic Cabinet
• Xander lost his flower.

Stats:

Oz's Hair - red

Dead Humans - 0

Dead Undeads - 6

Giles Unconscious - 0

Giles Cleans His Glasses -0

Buffy Breaks a Door - 0

Evil Reveal - 0

Unevil Reveal - 0

Shenanigans Called - 1

Apocalypse Called - 1

Or Taken Literally, Incredibly Gross

This picture makes us both sad

Episode 3.12: Helpless. Original Airdate 1.19.99

  

"As her birthday approaches, Buffy loses her slayer powers and must do battle with a vampire who is not only extremely powerful but also quite mad."

First off, we would like to apologize for the extended hiatus in our blogging ways. You see, Daniel had an illegitimate son who then got kidnapped by this dude with a massive grudge. The son returned, looking like a feral Peter Pan, and after some cuddles, sent Daniel to the bottom of the ocean in a steel coffin. Like one does. Meanwhile, Zelda was feeling really conflicted because her boyfriend had gone all evil, but now he was good again, but she still had to send him to a hell dimension because of reasons, and then she ran off to LA for a few months and went by her middle name, which she's not going to tell you now. But if you meet a girl who used to be a mushroom and now has a different name - that's her middle name.

Zelda's Thoughts:

• Oooh a picnic.
• Oh a fight.
• Um that stake is as big as SMG's arm.
• MAN it's been a while since we've watched the show. I forgot about all the awkward between Angel and Buffy.
• aw DB made me laugh. For once he had amazing timing:

• NO GILES NO STOP HYPNOTIZING BUFFY.
• Buffy's banter is in top form today.
• NO NO NO DON'T KILL OUR BUFFY.
• "Ice is cool. It's water, but it's not." I suspect David Fury of suspecting Oz of being a pothead.
• This is the episode of fatherly betrayals. Both real daddy and surrogate daddy betray our Buffy and it's NOT OKAY.
• "Buffy?" // "Present. Oooh present!"
• This:

Sunnydale legs sold separately.

• Mysterious plotting British people! 
• Aw Buffy asking Giles, her other daddy, to take her to the ice show, to pick up where her real daddy disappointed her.
• Giles can barely look at her while he sets up the crystals. BECAUSE HE KNOWS HE'S BETRAYING HER AND IT'S NOT OKAY.
• "Look for the flaw at its center." that's meta, yo.
• Stop making me hate Giles, show. He's my spirit animal.
• NO NO NO BAD.
• Who is this doonboggle yelling at Cordy?
• I like that Cordy is able to stick up for herself (especially when Buffy's strength is awol)
• Giles can still barely look at her, when Buffy comes to him completely vulnerable, worried about her waning strength, and he has to brush her off. He's so ashamed. I HATE YOU, QUENTIN TRAVERS.
• Giles is right. This is fucking archaic. This is NOT OKAY. I just ... I can't wait til Checkpoint when Buffy will give the Council its much-deserved smackdown. She's the one with the power, and they're trying to control it, like a gun they can point. Fuck that noise.
• Kralik is freakydeaky.
• I will bet huge stacks of money that the kryptonite argument between Xander and Oz happened in the writers room. Because nerds.
• Angel gives Buffy poetry. Oh Angel. Buffy can't read.
• I would like to float a theory: maybe the Council does this awful rite of passage hoping to kill off the Slayers at age 18. After she's 18, the Slayer is an adult with more agency, less controllability. A teenager is used to taking orders from adults. Holy shit, you guys. I think I just cracked the ACTUAL endgame here. Man, fuck you, Council.
• Uh oh. Kralik's loose. You see, Quentin? This is why we can't have nice completely insane vampires.
• Poor Buffy's running and screaming for help. It is NOT OKAY to do this to our Slayer! Fuck you, Council.
• Yay Giles to the rescue!
• See, the purported reason the Council wants to do this ridiculous rite of passage thing is because they want to make sure the Slayer has the wherewithal to defeat vampires even without her superstrength, and that she is supposed to feel empowered with this knowledge of herself, but what they're ACTUALLY doing is making her feel like a victim, someone to be hurt, someone weak and powerless. And, because Giles breaks the rules, someone betrayed by the person she trusted most to protect her.
• Little Buffy's crying. NOT OKAY.
• "Who are you? How could you do this to me?"
• And then Cordelia saves us from utter misery. Thanks Cordy! "I have to research a paper on Bosnia for tomorrow, but if the world's ending, I'm not gonna bother."
• "But if the world doesn't end, I'm gonna need a note."
• Awww Buffy packs a bag of weapons bigger than her and then can barely lift it awwwww.
• See but - I think this moment goes along with her moment of decision in Prophecy Girl. She knows this is a fight she probably won't win. And she goes anyway. Because she's a hero. And nobody puts her mother in a polaroid.
• "Interestingly, I don't give a rat's ass about the Council's orders." Welcome back, Giles.
• Buffy completely fails to break a door.
• Creepy Polaroid Room is creepy.
• Haha Buffy went down the laundry chute.
• Giles slays the second vampire about to get Buffy. It's not much, but it's the beginning of his earning back her trust.
• "I think you better leave town before I get my strength back."
• And Buffy lets Giles tend to her wounds.
• Joyce bragging about Buffy's slaying skills. Very sweet.

Daniel's Thoughts:

• Staked with a Baguette!
• "Satisfied?" "I'm not sure that's the word."  RESPECT AT WORK!
• It's also fun with Angel acts like a jealous teenage boy.  And remember: you're older than her father! (ew)
• Buffy, stop fondling that penis shaped crystal

Someone is still thinking about....baguettes

• I like Buffy in pigtails but I think it's designed to make her look younger and more vulnerable than she is.
• I remember being really scared for Buffy at this moment (being overpowered by the vamp).
• And you can tell at this point that Giles knows something. He's being way too glib about what just happened.
• "Ice is water but it's not."  - See, this sounds more like Stoner Oz than the usual Smart Oz we're used to.  I prefer Smart Oz. 
• Sad Buffy makes for a sad Daniel :(
• QUENTIN TRAVERS - it's always a bad sign when you see him.
• I hate thinking that Giles is doing something nefarious :(
• Aww.  Buffy can't even take care of the stupid bully!  But Cordy can!
• What's heartbreaking is that you can see how much Buffy relies and looks up to Giles; how much she looks at him like a father figure and he's betraying her.
• It's a little better, though, when we see him talking about it to Travers and that he has doubts.
• But this is just one more reason why I hate the council and their idiotic, archaic ways of doing things
• Quentin seems to truly believe this will make her stronger, but how many times has this actually worked?
• The actor playing the big bad Vamp, Jeff Kobor, reminds me a lot of Brian Thompson who has played two other parts before.
• OK, Oz is actually kind of annoying me in this episode.  I'm not one to defend Xander but I hate when people call you out on silly things like bad metaphors.  It's like holding all your eggs in a handbag.
• Buffy mentioned Mr. Pointy!  I love the imagery of the Old Slayer's Home
• I know Angel talking about loving Buffy the first time he saw her is supposed to be sweet but FIFTEEN.
• Shenanigans! As per Buffy in episode one: "To make you a vampire, they have to suck your blood.  And then you have to suck their blood. It's like a whole big sucking thing." Being stuck in that crate, there was no way he could have made the guy suck his blood.
• Run, Giles, Run! Nope...nope, he's gonna investigate.
• That little red hooded jacket on Buffy is so purposeful - Little Red Riding Hood imagery.

Fairy Tale Imagery much?

• Also, part of what's making Buffy so vulnerable here is that she literally is shit-scared and is acting vulnerable. The self-confidence is gone which makes her look more like a victim. And by victim, I mean anyone who walks through a dark neighborhood at night. It can be terrifying and it's interesting to show Buffy in this light.
• OMG, Buffy's face when she realizes that Giles betrayed her - so heartbreaking
• And I like when Buffy needs help, it's Cordelia to the rescue. Go writers for not automatically resorting to Willow or Xander.
• "He's Giles. GI-LES." - Ha.
• I think throwing away the flowers symbolizes the betrayal of both Buffy's fathers.
• "Stray from the path" - More Little Red Imagery.
• Buffy is so smart using the holy water.
• However barbaric this test is, it proved that Buffy, full slayer power or not, is extraordinary
• "You have a father's love for the child" - Yes.  I love that it was Quentin who pointed this out so Giles wouldn't have to defend himself.
• Aww, and Joyce is actually being a good mom, all proud of her daughter.

Crossfire!

(debating what exactly is wrong with Kralik and why he needs his pills)

Z: I think he's just crazy.

D: It's definitely something painful.

Z: Maybe it's a tumor.
Arnold:

Favorite Lines:

Zelda:  "You're waging a war, she's fighting it; there's a difference." - Giles

Daniel: "Did someone take her memory?  He's Giles. GI-LES.  He hangs out here a lot." - Cordelia

Arc/Continuity Stuff:

• Faith's on an unannounced walkabout.
• Willow is taking care of Amy the Rat but unable to change her back.
• Whenever the Slayer turns 18, the Watcher's Council becomes even douchier and tries to kill a powerless teenage girl with a psychotic vampire.
• Trivia: Kralik is played by Jeff Kober, who will return in S6 as Rack.
• Many references made to Buffy's last birthday, including her Arm in a Box gift.
• Angel reveals he saw Buffy before she became the Slayer, which we saw in Becoming.
• Buffy wears her overalls of misery and illness.
• The Council fires Giles as Buffy's Watcher.

Stats:

Oz's Hair - red

Dead Humans - 2

Dead Undeads - 3

Giles Unconscious - 0

Giles Cleans His Glasses - 0

Buffy Breaks a Door - 0

Evil Reveal - 0

Unevil Reveal - 0

Shenanigans Called - 1

Apocalypse Called - 0 (Sorry Cordelia)

Yeah, Buffy? What are we gonna do now?

Ten years ago today, on May 20, 2003, Buffy the Vampire Slayer aired its final episode, Chosen. When those of us who watched it live are done feeling old and decrepit with that knowledge, let's take a moment to thank the writers, the cast, and everyone involved, for giving us something to love for so long.

What're My Faves?: Part 2

What're My Faves?: Part 2

"Zelda realizes there are too many good episodes to make a top ten or even a top fifteen, but tries anyway, her heart breaking with each episode that doesn't make the cut. Except Go Fish. Fuck that episode."

So as Daniel said, this was a very difficult challenge, because Buffy is just such a freaking good show. I want to talk about allllll the good episodes and how much I love them. The good news is, THIS IS OUR BLOG so we will talk about all of them eventually. And that made me feel a little better about some of the ones I had to cut. And there are some episodes Daniel included, like Checkpoint, which I did not but hey they still got represented, so I don't feel so bad.

Zelda's culled-down list in chronological order (if you ask me to rank them, I might have a funny aneurysm):

Prophecy Girl (1.12)
It's just such a good hero arc, this whole episode. From when Buffy learns about the prophecy and rejects her destiny (breaking our hearts along the way), to realizing that only she can fight this fight, to protect Willow and everyone else from the horror that could be unleashed, to actually meeting the Master and getting killed ... to getting un-killed and then being the baddest badass in Badassonia, dusting vamps and sassing the whole time. It's just ... so much perfect. The moment when the theme song makes its cameo, as she marches along, in evening gown, leather jacket, wet hair, and awesomeness and says calmly, "Oh look, a bad guy," pretty much sums up everything Joss wanted to do with this show.

Lie to Me (2.7)
I've said it before, but watching this the first time is when I fell in love with Buffy the Vampire Slayer. It's a really well-constructed episode, the funny is funny, the tragic is tragic, and it's when I really realized how gifted Joss is at busting storytelling cliches. Ford reveals his sob story (in the extremely meta scene of his wanting Buffy to give him the standard replies), and rather than us granting him any sympathy, Buffy points out that his suffering gives him no right, ever to take someone else's life. Buffy's morality is firm and so rare on TV, and it was just a thing of beauty. And ... her conversation with Giles at the end. Oh man oh man. Perfect moment is perfect.

Innocence (2.14)
If I keep using the word perfect you're going to stop reading. I know that and you know that, so maybe we should just take that as given. This episode was such a game-changer, in terms of Buffy's and Angel's relationship, and even Angel as a character. This was entirely new territory, while still embracing the high school trope of "sleep with a boy, he loses interest and is awful to you." But - BUT - the show did not condemn Buffy. It was an unwise move, but there was no way for her to know, and bless Giles, our voice of reason, for reminding us of that. Have we noticed that my first three picks were written by Joss? Coincidence?

Passion (2.17)
Gah! I was so surprised when I saw this the first time. The trope was so familiar I didn't even think about it - one of our principal characters is being terrorized by the bad guy, and leading him on a merry chase through an empty building, but she's gonna escape. She'll escape by the hairs of her chinny-chin-chin, it'll be close, but she will escape. And then she didn't. He caught her. And he snapped her neck. And left her as a gift-wrapped present for Giles. And none of us saw it coming. It's so beautifully acted and heart-breaking and oh man, Buffy's embrace with Giles after the fire. A great example of one of Joss's favorite favorite stunts to pull on his audience: "NO ONE IS SAFE."

Becoming, Parts 1 & 2 (2.21&22)
One of my favorite themes to explore is identity - who we are, whom we want to be, how we become whom we want to be, or how we become whom we never wanted to be. And this episode is all about that - it's about how Liam became Angelus became Angel became Angelus becomes Angel again. And it's a bit about Buffy becoming the Slayer, and maybe only now realizing what that means (I'm thinking of the moment when she stops Angel's sword and says, "Me." She's realizing just how powerful it is to be Buffy the Vampire Slayer, even if she's all she has left). Beyond that, there are just so many moments that are now classic in my head - from Buffy running in slow motion to discover Kendra's corpse, to Spike and Joyce being THE BEST EVER, to "Someone wasn't worthy," to Xander's BIG TERRIBLE LIE, to Buffy's and Angel's epic sword fight, and the moment she realizes she still has to kill him, even though he's finally back. And then that song ... as her face crumbles, as she watches her friends, as she leaves ... what? No. I'm fine. It's dust. Terrifying Space Monkey Dust in my eyes. Shut up.

The Wish (3.9)
Gosh I feel like we were just writing about this. This episode is a strange little gift, since it hits a reset button at the end, and the only arc-moment that matters is Anya losing her power. But it gives all our actors a chance to stretch and do something different, and it gives us such a fascinating perspective on how easily things could have gone very, very horribly. Giles's stubborn belief that things must be better in this other world just wrenches my heart, and then we have that fight montage, as each of our Scoobies (except Oz. Yay Oz!) dies, ending with Buffy, falling slowly with a listless expression. This episode is a thing of beauty.

Amends (3.10)
I WOULDN'T CARE IF THE REST OF THE EPISODE WERE OUTTAKES FROM GO FISH AND DOUBLEMEAT PALACE, so long as we get Buffy's and Angel's confrontation on the hill. Thankfully, the rest of the episode is much better written than GF or DP, but still ... that scene at the end. We've also done this episode very recently, so I'm not sure what more I can say beyond ... sofreakinggoodyouguys.

Hush (4.10)

Dude. Just dude. This episode might have made it into the top ten for the skill with which the villains are portrayed - performance, filming, music - alone, but it's also just really good writing. Something I really respect about the "stunt" episodes, like this or Restless, or The Body, or OMWF, where the form of the narrative is severely altered, is that form and content are so well integrated on this show. So here, when speech is gone, or in OMWF when inner thoughts are sung, communication is actually enabled in a way it wasn't under ordinary circumstances. It's so clever and it seems like it should be so obvious, but I don't know anyone else who does it with the skill of Joss. Also this episode is scary and funny and Anya eats popcorn and Spike flips Xander the bird but he does it British-style so IT'S NOT CUT FROM THE SHOW.

Restless (4.22)
This is just ... I love it all. I love the random cheese guy, I love Snyder, I love their version of Death of a Salesman, I love Anya's stand-up, I love Xander's dream where all the rooms are connected as he wanders from place to place, unable to find where he fits, I LOVE WHEN GILES SINGS. It's such an interesting meditation, as well as a check in on each character's insecurities and foci, some of which we explored in Nightmares. And I especially love how integrated the episode became into the rest of the series. Some things were planned, like Dawn, and some things were just happy random callbacks given to us later, as gifts for those who pay attention - the shark with feet and much less fins, Spike as Giles's son, ummmm I know I'm forgetting some but it was just this goldmine of random stream-of-consciousness writing that the writers were able to pick from for the rest of the show's run.

Fool For Love (5.7)
I loooooooooove this kind of backstory/flashbacky thing. It's part of what made S1 of Lost so wonderful (that and the polar bear). Daniel already dealt with Anya's one of these, so I get Spike's. One of the deceptively cool things it does is we thinks it's telling us about Spike, and how he came to be Spike, but it becomes clear in his final alley/subway car speech to her - it's about Buffy, and who she is and what she is. It's about her death wish, about her dance with death, and it's our big clue for the S5 finale, if we know to listen for it. Outside of that secret mission, I just love getting the backstory on Spike, particularly because it's not what he would have us believe of him. I like it because of that, though - that Spike got to decide who he wanted to be, and made himself in that image. Even if that image was ... you know .. a psycho killer. As I said in Becoming, one of my big themes is Identity, so this episode was a gift to me, in that way.

The Body (5.16)
I can't. I can't. I - what Daniel said. I cry through so much of this episode. Every single time I watch it. From Buffy's "Mom? ... Mom? Mom? ... Mommy?" through to Dawn's "Where did she go?", I'm just a messy wreck. It's just so terribly, horribly honest and real and, bless its heart, addresses all aspects of being inside or around a tragedy. So we get the true horror of Buffy's and Dawn's grief, but also the slightly separate confusion and frustration of Anya, and the more-distanced Tara, who's been here before and who didn't love Joyce like the rest do. They're all true. They're all painful. Just thinking about it as I'm typing this, I'm crying again.

The Gift (5.22)
Oh, speaking of crying ... Even though I very recently fantasized with friends about how much less angsty and miserable S6 might have been if Dawn had died and Buffy hadn't ... I still wouldn't change this episode. Even the "previouslies" are beautiful, taking us through the whole series to this point. And, like all good finales, it gives our Scoobies moments to shine - Xander the glorified bricklayer, Giles the - gasp! - murderer for the greater good, Anya and the Troll God Hammer, Willow and her magicks, Dawn ... sorry, I wasn't paying attention, Spike willing to lay down his life to save Dawn for Buffy, and even the Buffybot gets in some cool stuff before her decapitation. And I'm with Daniel, every time I hear the score from this episode, I cry. Because I remember Buffy's speech, and everyone's faces as they see Buffy, dead but so unbruised she might be sleeping ... but truly, irrevocably (until she's not) dead. She saved the world. A lot.

Once More, With Feeling (6.7)
I like musicals. A lot. I like when people burst into song. Hell, I'm still watching Glee (though that's probably going to change once the season ends). Even if the songs aren't as polished as Sondheim, even if the singers aren't as gifted as Audra, I'm willing to concede a lot when my characters start singing to me. But I didn't have to concede that much here. Joss tailored the songs to the singers' talents (or lack thereof), and the choreography has a very charming old-school "let's put on a show" vibe to it. But this is way better than the nonsense we get on Glee - these songs are not pop songs shoehorned into contrived "plots" - they are fully context-driven songs in the true tradition of (good) musical theatre. Even outside of the stunt that was clearly crafted specifically to win my cold, dead heart to watching this show, important plot things happen here, and continue to arc through the rest of the season. Buffy was ripped out of heaven, and now everyone knows. Also, Willow is messing with Tara's memories and Dawn's a liar and Giles wants to leave town and Xander and Anya are having doubts and PLOT. Also mustard. Also Hinton Battle. Can we talk about Hinton Battle?

Tabula Rasa (6.8)
Some people apparently hate this episode. They are incorrect. This episode is magic. This episode is joy on a stick. This episode is my best friend and dearest darling and I would totally rob a bank for this episode. It's a nice little lark away from the pain and misery that is lurking to take over the rest of the season, while still ultimately exploring who these people are, even when they don't know who they are - Joan's still a leader, Umad's still a brat, Willow is still Gay!Now, Annya's still afraid of bunnies, Rupy's still British, Randy's still British with a massive chip on his shoulder and also pretensions of grandeur. My one complaint? That freaking awful pun Loan Shark and his dreadful "acting."

Conversations With Dead People (7.7)
This is a great episode that I'll watch sometimes when I'm in just a general Buffy mood. It's got a little something for everyone - the genuinely scary Dawn plot, the sad-but-well-acted Willow plot, the witty and awesome Jonathan M. Woodward plot (er, I mean, Buffy and her shrink), and the Nerds, in a nice return, even though they fucking killed my beloved Jonathan (that's okay, he has Emmys and Golden Globes and the Hunger Games scripts to keep him warm, I guess). This episode was incredibly satisfying, in all its plots, and it was good The Big Bad of the season finally formally announced itself (though if memory serves, my sister and I had figured it out from the final scene of Lessons) and set the stage for the rest of the season. Regardless of the fact that the season didn't live up to its promise, this was a great set up for it.


Honorable Mentions:

Who Are You (4.16)
I sometimes wonder if Eliza was upset that Faith got such a great character arc on this episode, and she didn't get to act most of it (but then I remember she gets to have torture breakdown madness on Angel next, and I stop feeling bad for her). This episode would be great if it were just a body switch, because both actresses do great work imitating each other. But that's not actually what it's about. It's about a girl who hates herself so much she's convinced she hates Buffy, and so steals her life - and then realizes what it could be, to be someone people love and respect, and that she could learn to love and respect herself too. And then - it's about her coming back to her own heroism, when she realizes that she has to go be the Slayer, to save the hostages from Adam. She remembers what right and wrong are, and which side she's supposed to be on. She still has a long ways to go, but this was our glimmer that she could redeem herself.

Primeval (4.21)
I feel like this one gets forgotten a lot, because it's followed by the Restless stunt, and also because Adam is a shitty villain and S4 has many many problems, but this episode is a pretty badass mini-action movie directed by the awesome James A. Contner. Riley is immobilized, Spike is just ridiculously terrible at being a Big Bad, the Scoobies reconcile, the BATTLE IS REALLY WELL SHOT, and then they all join to be SuperBuffy and turn bullets into birds and rip Adam's power core out of him with Buffy's bare hands and just ... damn, y'all. This would have been a satisfying season finale, but they switched gears to not end the season on the epic battle, and give us Restless instead ... but we still got our epic battle, so it's all good.

Intervention (5.19)
One word: Buffybot. Game, set, match. Well, also "I'm not having sex with Spike, but I'm starting to think you are." Well, also also Buffy's scene with Spike at the end. SMG playing Buffy playing the Buffybot, and Spike's face when he realizes who she is. I do love that he can always tell, even when the others can't - god, that moment in After Life (not listed here, but it almost made the cut) when he recognizes Buffy coming down the stairs. YES I SHIP THE SPUFFY AND I DO NOT APOLOGIZE.

Normal Again (6.17)
Another one that some people hate, some people love. I can understand the hate, because the alternate-reality-in-a-mental-hospital thing has been done before, but here are the two reasons I love it: 1, it highlights how preposterous our villains have been this season (some people thought the meta wasn't enough of an apology), which is a very subtle indication that, despite their pretensions, they can't actually be our real Big Bad of the season (hi, Willow!); 2, If we go with the scenario that the mental hospital is not an alternate dimension, but merely Buffy's delusion (how I choose to read it), that means that when Joyce tells her how strong she is, and that she can fight this, that's actually Buffy's subconscious telling her to be strong, and to choose the correct world. It is right after this that Buffy leaves the mental hospital and returns to Sunnydale to protect her friends. She sent herself back to the world she's been avoiding all season.

Help (7.4)
We have to start with the fact that I love Azura Skye. She's so weird and interesting and I'm always happy when she shows up. Choosing her as a substitute for Tara in CWDP was delightful to me. What I liked about this is that Buffy, while sucking at solving teenage problems for the students she meets (oh my god, she's a bad counselor!), was presented with a problem she thought she could solve - saving Cassie from a threat to her life, whatever that threat might be. And she almost did, several times. And she still didn't get to save her completely. And that's the hardest lesson to learn, is when you can't fix the problem or save the person, what do you do with what's left? What do you get to take away from it?

What're my Faves?: Part I

"Only an honorable mention, Daniel? Really?"

What're My Faves?: Part 1

"Daniel attempts to narrow down his favorite episodes.  Meanwhile, Buffy & the gang take a much needed break."

When Zelda proposed we do a top ten list, I thought, “Yeah!  That should be fun and easy.”  But when she came back with over thirty titles, and I came back with almost twenty-five, we quickly realized this wasn't an easy task at all.  How could we pick ten episodes out of 144?!   The answer was simple: Honorable mentions!  Of course that left us with a top ten and about 15-20 honorable mentions.  That wasn't a comprehensive list either.  After weeks of begging Zelda to come up with a concrete number, we finally settled on top 15, with 5 honorable mentions.  Please note that this leaves out tons wonderful episodes – but hey, that’s what our recaps are for.

Daniel’s Top Fifteen Buffy Episodes: (in almost chronological order)

Anne

My favorite season premiere, Anne was a groundbreaking, if not risky move.  How can you separate the main character from the rest of the pack; take her out of the show’s setting for an entire episode?  Easy, just put Joss in the front seat and let him drive.  Anne let Buffy explore herself, search her feelings, mope and pine all without compromising her character.  We also see Buffy grow throughout the episode, slowly getting her chutzpah back and becoming who she is, “I’m Buffy, the Vampire Slayer.   And you are?” It’s a journey in forty-two minutes.  Meanwhile, back in Sunnydale, the gang finds out what they would have to do if they ever lost the Slayer for good.  And they’re (mostly) up for the challenge which is a nice preview (foreshadowing?) for a future season premiere.

Halloween

Halloween was one of the first episodes I ever saw of Buffy and proves how incredibly magical it can be. It’s a fun episode, while being a character driven one.  Each of the characters grows: Willow comes out of her shell; Buffy, by the end, proves she can be a girly-girl while still being a kick-ass girl & Xander gets tough. Sure the spell is temporary, but as we see, each of the three retains part of what they were in episodes to come.  It’s also the episode where meet awesome recurring characters Larry and Ethan Rayne. (And Oz gets closer to finding out, “Who is that girl?”)

Passion

Passion was the first episode where we finally got to see just how bad Angelus can be.  Up until now, we’ve been mostly teased.  It’s a turning point, not just for the audience, but for Buffy and Giles as well. Buffy finally realizes what she must do, namely kill Angel.  Giles realizes that it’s time to be more than just watcher. And we have our first big death of the series:  a character we all grew to love, despite some of her transgressions.  The only big criticism I have of this episode is that the anger at Jenny was built up too much – Almost as if it was there to make the characters feel guiltier and sadder about her death.

The Wish

Anya!  This is the episode that we’re introduced to my favorite character, Anya!  And Emma Caulfield knocks it out of the park.  I generally love “what if” episodes, but this one outshines most of the others. The question, “What if the Slayer never came to Sunnydale” is thoroughly explored here and what comes out of it is shocking, hilarious and heartbreaking.  The episode ends with almost every major character’s death. If only Buffy could remember it: she wouldn't be doubting herself all the time.

Dopplegangland

Annnnnd the return of Anya.  This time, though, Emma Caulfield really gets to exercise her comedic chops, something she didn’t really get to do in The Wish. Anya was supposed to be a two episode character, and I bet this is when Joss decided to bring her on full time.   It also gives Alyson Hannigan a chance to stretch, ultimately playing three roles: Willow, Dark Willow and Willow pretending to be dark Willow which is just hilarious.

Earshot

A controversial episode, since it was set to air just after what happened in Columbine – Joss, the WB and all the powers that be rightly waited to air it later in the year.  But the, “someone in the school plans to kill everyone in it,” was only a front for what the true message of the episode was:  High School sucks.  Everyone feels lonely.  Which Buffy pretty much states at the end to Jonathan.  But what I love most about this episode is how they handled the “telepathy” phenomenon.   I love how uncomfortable everyone is around Buffy, since you can’t always control your thoughts and a lot of the time, you think things that you just don’t want anyone else to know. If you said these thoughts aloud, people would think you’re sick or perverted which is why (most of us) have filters.  And then there’s Cordelia.

Hush

Hush is oh so fantastic for so many reasons.  It proves you don’t need dialogue to have a well written show. (Though the dialogue in the beginning is absolutely fantastic.) It also gave the actors a chance shine without relying on the famously witty lines. And finally, this is one of the few episodes that genuinely scared me.  The Gentlemen are probably some of my favorite villains of all time.  They are truly the stuff that nightmares come from.

Creepy MoFos

Who Are You?

Two reasons why this episode made the list: Sarah Michelle Gellar and Eliza Dushku.  I truly think this is one of Sarah’s best acting jobs.  Sure, she’s an excellent crier and she’ll give you the feels any day of the week but in Who Are You, Sarah got to take an existing character and make you believe that she was her. It’s a fun 80s movie type plot turned kind of sinister.

Restless

Step one: Take the big-action-defeat-the-Big-Bad-with-ultimate-magiks episode and make it the 2^nd to last episode.  Step two: Write a seemingly frivolous episode as the season finale.   This would never work with any other type of action show, but it works so well here. Restless takes our core four and puts them through the ringer in nightmares that get to their worst fears.  And we’re not talking spiders and Nazi clowns.  These nightmares are all about who they are, how they've grown and what they have left to learn.  And the episode has foreshadowing extraordinaire:  “Be back before Dawn.”  Oh we will, show.  We will.

Checkpoint

Checkpoint takes one of my favorite gripes about this show and kicks its ass: The Watcher’s council. This is a turning point in the show: It’s when Buffy and the gang finally take control of their destinies without the useless rule of the council. It’s also an episode where everyone truly comes together as a unit.  The gang defends Buffy and Buffy, in return, defends how valuable her friends are.   The dialogue is powerful and comedic and yields one of my favorite deliveries by Emma Caulfield ever, “Willow’s a demon?!”

The Scoobies, giving each other support in one of the best "awww" moments of the show

The Body

Oh, the feels.  Besides the series finale of Six Feet Under, this is the one episode of television that makes me cry almost uncontrollably. There’s no music to tell you when to cry – it’s all in the writing, directing and acting.  From Anya’s hysterical child-like wonder to Dawn’s breakdown and the Joyce-doppelganger-teacher watching her to Buffy’s realization that this is something she can’t stop as a slayer. The one moment that gets me every time is when Buffy imagines Joyce being revived and rushed to the hospital only to cut SO SUDDENLY back to reality. Every. Time.

The Gift

What The Body did without music, The Gift does with an amazing score that gives me the feels whenever I hear it on my iTunes.  This episode could have been a series finale (and in some ways, I almost wish it was!). It wraps things up, kills off the Big Bad but still leaves tons of questions.  (Like, did Buffy really need to sacrifice herself? Wasn't there another way?) It also made some unexpected heroes: Giles to the rescue, doing something morally questionable to save the world and Anya figuring out a way to use the Dagon sphere. "Here to help, wanna live."

Once More with Feeling

How can this not be on anyone’s top list? Here’s the thing – this could have been an unbelievably failed experiment. But the songs were not only catchy and fun – they actually furthered the plot!  Once More wasn't just an awesome standalone episode where Joss thought, “Hey, let’s do a musical!”  It allowed the characters to let out sing out how they've been feeling thereby letting secrets and other things come out that really needed to be said.  And though, yes, they defeated the demon, as Sweet says, “there’s not a one who can say this ended well.”  Because now they have to actually deal with it.

Tabula Rasa

But not yet.  After an amazing episode like Once More with Feeling, how can you possibly top yourself?  Any episode that comes after that one would pale in comparison, right? Right?? WRONG!  Tabula Rasa proved to be one of the funniest episodes ever. Brilliantly written, conceived and acted, the episode followed its predecessor seamlessly and produced one of the greatest gifs ever:

Selfless

This was the first and last episode that was truly about my favorite character, Anya.  Sure you can argue that Triangle featured her prominently but that was a mess of an episode for more reasons than it deserves here. Sure, there was The Wish & Dopplegangland, but we've never gotten to see what made Anya who she is.  It took way too long, but it was sure worth it.  It can also be argued that this was the last great episode of the series.  Season seven takes a really strange dive post-Selfless and Anya is featured less and less and is even absent in some episodes. She’s such a rich, interesting and complicated character that I wish the writers took time to explore her a little further instead of dumping it all in one episode.

Honorable Mentions:

The Puppet Show

This episode was creepy, hilarious, introduced us to the character of Principal Snyder and created a one-off character that was so charming that they used him in a Buffy video game. Also, this:

Superstar

What if there was a world without shrimp? Or a world with nothing but shrimp?  I truly just love the idea of infinite universes where anything can happen.  And while Jonathan’s plan goes horribly wrong, admit it: we all wish we could do just what he did, even for a day.

What’s My Line: Part 1 & 2

A huge turning point for the show, these episodes allow Buffy to explore and obsess over a potential future beyond slaying.  Also, we get to see Sarah ice skate!

Fear Itself

One of the first episodes I ever saw of Buffy, so it holds a special place in my heart.  The episode was great at really exploring each character’s fears.  And also? Anya in a bunny suit.

Witch

The first one-off episode was filled with misdirection, evil & cheerleading. It’s an episode that’s referenced a lot later on and introduces the recurring character of Amy the Witch, later: Amy the rat. It also let Sarah shine and explore a more comedic and goofy role.

 Stay tuned next week for Zelda's list!