PLEASE NOTE: THIS IS A SPOILER-RICH ZONE. If your diet requires you to dine on television spoiler-free ... good luck with that.


Tuesday, July 30, 2013

The Girl Makes Godot Look Punctual

Episode 3.17: Enemies. Original Airdate 3.16.99

"Faith uses a shaman's power to take away Angel's soul." Wow, way to be misleading, IMDB

Daniel's Thoughts:

  • This episode should be called Frenemies
  • Le Banquet d’Amelia.  I love it.  Yes, that does sound like a very sexy frenchy French movie. Like Les Cousines Dangereaux from Arrested Development.
  • Since when do Angel and Buffy see movies together?  And there’s my answer, “It’s been a long time since I’ve been to the movies.”
  • Faith “They want us down on Mercer.”  The council? Since when do they assign…assignments.
  • How long has that milk been out?
  • And where are the cookies, mayor?
  • Heh.  I love that Giles is all perturbed about a demon wanting money instead of the still beating heart of a virgin.
  • And the seeds of “Giles not fully trusting Willow with magicks” are being laid down…for cropping.  I think that’s a mixed metaphor…
  • Faith just keeps digging herself deeper, killing the demon.  Even if it is a demon.
  • Faith trying to seduce Angel is kinda sad…
  • “There's more than one way to skin a cat and I happen to know that’s factually true.”  Eww.
  • Giles, “I wasn’t about to burst in song about it myself.”  NOT YET!
  • Faith made a shirt out of Buffy’s pants….
Umm...anyone seen my pleather red pants?
  • “I know. Faith would never do that.” // ”Faith would totally do that.”
  • I know Angel’s faking it but he’s doing a good job – and he never once says, “let’s suck blood…because that’s what we vampires do…”
  • And also David’s at his best when he’s playing Angelus.
  • Angel about Xander “That guy just bugs me”.  I don’t think he’s acting…
  • Again, even though they’re acting – it must be hard for Buffy & Angel to do this
  • Shut up Xander.  …You don’t need context.  Just…shut up, Xander.
  • Why is Willow wearing such a heavy coat? It’s California.
  • I love the set-up psych scene.  It’s all done so well and I have to admit, I was surprised the first time I saw it but I saw a few hints on subsequent watches
  • I know the Shaman’s backwards walk into nothingness is supposed to be magical but the actor has a hard time walking backwards…
  • I know I make fun of the schmaltzy stuff on this show but I like that final scene between David and Sarah.

Zelda's Thoughts:

  • Buffy and Angel totally just saw erotica!
  • And we're back to Schmoopytimes High. To their credit, they haven't been overly schmooping this season.
  • Books of Ascension, eh? That sounds like some seasonal arc stuff to me!
  • I just want to point out that most of the shots of Angel in the opening credits are from when he was evil. I just want to point that out.
  • It's such a parental thing, the Mayor asking Faith not to hide her face behind her hair. My mom always likes when I pull my hair back so she can see my face.
  • He keeps. A pitcher. Of milk. In his office. Best Character Ever.
  • Giles is eating a banana during Wesley's briefing. I kind of love it.
  • Willow's bold rebellions against authority include reading books Giles hides in his office. She's dark, you guys.
  • Faith broke a door. Doesn't count for our stats, though.
  • The gutting of the demon is pretty brutal.
  • Faith's hands are covered in demon blood, and yet none comes off the many times she touches her hair and face, nor when she touches Angel. bullllllllllshiiiiiiiiiiiit.
  • "And I won't tolerate brooding." Then ... why does the Mayor want to recruit Angel?
  • Giles is teasing me ... taking off his glasses, pulling out his handkerchief, and yet HE DOESN'T CLEAN HIS GLASSES. Dastard.
You think it's coming. I stare at you, taunting you.
  • Giles is so outraged. "Again. See, no standards. I mean, any self-respecting demon should be living in a pit of filth or a nice crypt!" [THANK you. - Spike]
  • It's subtle, but it's good that Buffy catches that Faith knows where the strangely-placed light switch is in the demon's apartment. And then she can't look away from the violent carnage that was clearly not a professional hit.
  • "Does Angel come up to Faith's standards for a guy? Let's see, is he breathing?" // "Actually, no."
  • Nice fire, Angel. Also nice death wish.
  • Stop trying to act, DB. Just stand there and show us your arms.
  • I do like that as he playacts Angelus, he beats the shit out of Faith. Like, did she think he'd be nice and cuddly with her?
  • Still pronouncing it ANGelus rather than AnGELus. Still James Marsters's fault.
  • Okay, so the Mayor summoned the shaman and then the shaman was like "Hey, I think my buddy Giles lives in town, Imma go catch up with him and tip him off, just for funsies," and thus the SUPER SECRET PLAN was born? Is that how it went down?
  • I like that "Angelus" tries to kill the Mayor and thus finds out (for the Scoobies) that he's impervious to such things as death.
  • And Xander gets punched out because no one bothered to tell him the plan. WELL DONE, TEAM.
  • DB is pretty good at being a creepy creeper.
  • "How about like exact same guy like exact same guy?"
  • So do we think Faith managed to get "Angelus" into bed this episode? It's never explicitly stated, but I wonder how far he had to take the charade.
  • Faith paints pretty clearly her resentment and jealousy of Buffy. She's a Slayer too, and why can't she have everything Buffy has?
  • "You had to tie me up to beat me."
  • See, Faith, this is why you shouldn't monologue. You gave away all your intel.
  • I like the slow mo shot as Faith realizes she's been betrayed.
  • "Kill me, you become me. You're not ready for that ... yet." And she kisses her. I really love the complicated dynamic of Buffy and Faith.
  • "His debt to you is repaid? What'd you do?" // "I introduced him to his wife."
  • "We have a rogue slayer on our hands; I can't think of anything more dangerous." It's just ... sometimes the writing is so crystalline and minimal and perfect and chilling and yes.
  • "You still my girl?" // "Always." Hark! Do I hear the mournful piano tinklings of the Buffy/Angel love theme?


Z: In the library planning session, neither Buffy nor Giles are acting like they know the fakeAngelus plan, but they must. If they do know, and they're just not telling the rest of the Scoobies, THERE IS NO REASON FOR THAT. As a result, Xander got punched and the rest of the Scoobies got up in arms for Angelus, again for no reason. Dumb dumb de dumb. I understand why the writers made the choice to confuse us, but logistically IT MAKES NO SENSE. And it probably could have, but not the way it is currently constructed, so there's some lazy shortcutting here or something. One general Shenanigans.

D: Giles & Buffy definitely knew.  Before she left, Giles covertly whispered to her, "Be Careful".  I think this is our clue that Giles and Buffy knew. Plus, the Mage didn't do what he was meant to do because he owed Giles one.  The Mage must have come to Giles beforehand.  I think not telling the others and sending them off on a wild-goose chase was a wise decision; it wasn't a long-term secret.  It was just to keep them safe and out of the way.  Besides, we all know Xander would have fucked it up somehow if he knew.

Favorite Lines:

Daniel: "Whatever happened to the still-beating heart of a virgin? No one has standards anymore." - Giles
Zelda: "A six-course banquet of nothing with a scoop of sod-all as a palate cleanser." - Giles. We should all speak British.

Arc/Continuity Stuff:

  • Recurrings: Faith, Mayor, Joyce
  • The gang is finding out more about Ascensions.
  • Shoutout to Willy the Snitch! Unseen but mentioned.
  • The gang now knows the Mayor is invincible. Also kind of immortal and really old. And that Ascension Day is also Graduation Day.


Oz's Hair - blonde
Dead Humans - 0
Dead Undeads - 1
Giles Unconscious - 0
Giles Cleans His Glasses - 0
Buffy Breaks a Door - 0
Evil Reveal - 0
Unevil Reveal - 1 (Angel was just pretending to be Angelus)
Shenanigans Called - 1
Apocalypse Called - 0

Wednesday, July 24, 2013

Reliable Dog Geyser Person

Episode 3.16: Dopplegangland.  Original Airdate: 2.23.99

"While casting a magic spell, Anya & Willow accidentally summon Willow's evil double from another universe."

Zelda's Thoughts:

  • So what's with D'Hoffryn's lair being a random basement with oriental rugs over cement?
  • "Florist means crazy right?"
  • "heee buffbuff" this episode open is all about how lovable and cute Willow is. BECAUSE OF EVILWILLOW.
  • "Just don't mark the box that says 'I sometimes like to kill people.'"
  • This whole conversation is pretending to be about the difference between Faith and Buffy but it's actually foreshadowing about Willow's potential for evil and their inherent belief that she could never be evil. And while the intention here is to set up the contrast with VampWillow, all I can think about is scary veiny black-haired Willow of S6.
  • "You want us to breed?" Daniel and I both just laughed embarrassingly loud. Sorry, Daniel's neighbors.
  • Snyder Snyder Snyder I love you. You're so tiny and evil.
  • Also who's the little girl on your desk?
Is that your kid? Did you breed little Snyders?

  • I keep forgetting this is a Joss Whedon episode. I mean, I shouldn't be surprised, but it's not one of his famous stunts like Hush or Restless or ... you know ... that other one.
  • "It's just like fun ... only boring."
  • Faith is acting like a team player now, following instructions from the various Watchers. BUT WE KNOW THE TRUTH.
  • Awww Mayor Evil bought Faith an apartment! No vampires invited here.
  • And see, right here, is when he becomes her father figure. She tries to get flirty, calling him sugar daddy, and he corrects her immediately. And then says "Let's kill your little friend."
  • Willow's wearing another fluffy pink sweater, but we already documented this one.
  • I don't think you're allowed to be this much of a douchey tool when your name is Percy.

  • Let's lay it on thick how much everyone takes Willow for granted. But at least it doesn't have the forced out-of-character feel of Xander's treatment in The Zeppo.
  • Spell time!
  • "Did you try looking inside the sofa in hell?"
  • Seriously, I could just type the entire transcript from this episode and that could be my review, because ... amazing.
  • "I believe these chicken feet are mine." You see what I mean?
  • Welcome back, VampWillow! I already appreciate how different your inflection is than our Willow's. AH, being awesome.
  • "Bored now." aaaaaaaaaaaaaah I kinda love you, VampWillow. Who am I kidding, I full love you.
  • "Aren't you gonna introduce me to yourholy GOD you're Willow." SMG, also doing excellent work this episode.
  • Aw Buffy looks so hurt when VampWillow says she doesn't like her.
  • HAHA I love that the hench-vamps the Mayor sends after Willow meet VampWillow instead. Great plotting.
  • And just like that, she has minions. Well done, VampWillow. I suspect you're way better at being a super evil vampire than either Angel or Spike.
  • "Way better than me." // "Much much better." [I like this exchange because funny, but it's now especially funny if you consider it a reply to my previous point.]
  • They're so sad. It's okay, guys! She's not evil.
  • "Geez, who died? Oh God, who died?" PERfect
  • "Say you all didn't happen to do a bunch of drugs, didja?"
  • "I'm not a vampire." AH is really on fire this episode. Every delivery perfect.
  • Angel and Oz look like they're the same height. How many feet below Seth Green is David Boreanaz standing?
I'm gonna go with at least four feet.

  • "Why don't I believe him?" // "Well, he lacks credibility."
  • And Anya immediately recognizes VampWillow because she's the only one who's met her before.
  • Aw Oz's face. EVERYONE'S FACE. Except Angel's because it never does anything.
  • Everyone's reactions to Angel's confusions. So much love. If only Angel weren't strangely breathless in this scene. Is DB trying to act again?
  • The two Willow camera work ALMOST works. Like, almost. It's better than it should be for budget 90s TV, but it still looks fake.
  • Yay tranq gun! "Bitch!"
  • "I'm so evil and skanky, and I think I'm kinda gay."
  • "Just remember, a vampire's personality has nothing to do with the person it was." // "Well, actually ... that's a good point." THIS IS SUCH IMPORTANT CANON INFORMATION. It means that we don't absolve people for their VampSelves, that there is a choice involved in who we become. (I'm looking at you, Spike)
  • I just keep mocking DB's bad acting and bad hand motions. I'm so mature.
  • Aw real Willow's so uncomfortable in VampWillow's skin. So to speak.
  • "I killed her ... and sucked her blood ... as we vampires do." They really should have figured it out immediately, that she wasn't VampWillow. Maybe these vampires were formerly deeply stupid policemen. After all, they work for the Mayor.
  • Poor Cordy really has nothing left to do anymore. Her one plot is flirting with Wesley.
  • "Cuz I'm so helpless." // "I was looking at books. I like books ... cuz I'm shy." Yeah, VampWillow isn't great at LiveWillow roleplaying either.
  • If I were feeling meaner, I'd call shenanigans both on the vamp minions not realizing LiveWillow isn't VampWillow and on Cordy not realizing VampWillow isn't LiveWillow, but ... I love this episode, so I'm giving it a pass.
  • hahaha I freaking love this scene with Anya and Willow. No analysis. Just love. I'm useless.
  • Yay twitchy Wesley.

  • "I'm a bloodsucking fiend! Look at my outfit!"
  • "Ow ow ow happy but ow."
  • Pretty awesome fight sequence.
  • They have pastries at the Bronze! Because of course!
  • Both Willows scoffing at Anya's blustering.
  • Great continuity! VampWillow was still killed by a blonde Oz, even though he has black hair in this episode.
  • Haha Percy is so whipped, I love it.

Daniel's Thoughts:
  • YAY ANYA is back!
  • Hey D’Hoffryn!  You’ll be as witty as the Mayor eventually…
  • "And I'm flunking math!"  Emma shines and shows her comedic timing int his episode so freaking much.
  • But also, why is she bothering to go to school in the first place?
  • "Do you have any idea how boring 12th graders are!”
  • YAY!  Willow is getting good at…floating a pencil! (Scary veinyness is imminent.)
  • BuffBuff!
  • “I sometimes like to kill people” joke, Willow about Faith…too soon…
  • Hey Percy – you’re a dick.  And a thirty-year-old High School Student.
  • “You want us to breed?” HA!
  • We know Faith is evil.  They know Faith is evil.  But we’re all acting like she’s trying…
  • The set designers really love the arch thing.  They put it in everything.
Ok, it's time to design Faith's new apartment.  How about another arch?

  • Man, I really hate that fuzzy pink sweater Willow is wearing.
  • Aww, poor Willow.
  • “Old Reliable…there’s a sexy nickname.”
  • The storming off joke was in another episode.  It made more sense when Oz said it.
  • Anya: “I know Cordelia”.  Really?  Where’s she been? Can you bring her back onscreen?
  • Willow and Anya actually seem like they could be friends at this point!
  • "Did you try looking inside the sofa in hell?" Hahha
  • VampWillow!
  • This is such a neat episode for Alyson sink her teeth in.
  • Oh lesbian 90s rock at the Bronze
  • “Bored now!” Yay!
  • I love Buffy’s reaction to Willow’s “new look”.
  • Aww, the “I don’t like you” line is so sad.
  • I love that when Willow gets vamped, she’s not just a generic vamp – she gets power and respect and she can really kick some ass.  I think that proves how much untapped potential Willow has as a human.
  • Buffy/Giles/Xander grieving scene could have been a little better. It’s more comical than it needs to be. We know it's not real but they don't.  There were more tears when Jenny Calendar died.
  • “Geez, who died?"//  "Oh God, who died?!”
  • Though when they finally see her alive, it’s really nice.
  • “I’m 1120 years old, just give me freakin' a beer!”  “ID.” “Give me a coke…” Such a brilliant exchange.
  • Oz’s reaction to seeing VampWillow is much better…
  • Sandy’s first appearance – which only the die hard Buffy fans know comes back in season five for a couple of episodes.  Even I’m having trouble remembering exactly how she fit in.  The actress also played her is Pacey's  annoying "British" roommate in the final season of Dawson’s Creek.
  • I like when David Boreanaz does comedy. “Willow’s dead.  Hey Willow.”
  • “What are we gonna do with me? The other me.”  It’s an interesting philosophical question. They know nothing of VampWillow's world.  What if they send her back and she wreaks havoc and destroys Sunnydale?  And how would Willow feel if she knew she was going to be vamped?  Would she want Buffy to kill her?  I'd assume so.  And what does Xander "willow-says-kick-his-ass" Harris have to say about this?
  • Bad 90s special effects – but – it’s really not as horrible as it could be.
  • Willow on Willow action.  That’s…..yes, disturbing, Willow.  I’d use that word, too.
  • “And I think I’m kinda gay” – yay! First reference to Willow possibly being gay.
  • Alyson playing Willow playing VampWillow is amazing.
  • Waving at Oz was a bit risky.
  • Why is Cordelia in an evening gown?  Oh…it’s because of Wesley…
  • You can break out of that bookcage, VampWillow.  It’s not hard.
  • What’s with the explaining? Willow pretending to be VampWillow: “I sucked her blood…because that’s what we vamps do…”  And VampWillow pretending to be Willow, “I like books….because I’m shy.”  People don’t explain what and why they do what they do.  They just…do.
  • You know, I’ve been waiting for Cordelia to confront Willow for a while…it’s about time.  And I like that it happens this way.
  • Anya is smart! 
  • Wesley is such a wuss.
  • I’m sorry but as much of a bitch Cordelia is, I don’t buy that she would just dismiss Willow’s death like that. This reads incredibly false for me.
  • "Can a human do this? *scream*"// “Yeah..yeah I think a human could do that.”
  • See, Faith?  When someone screams “no!”, you can stop yourself from killing someone. [Preach. - Z]

Favorite Lines:

Zelda: "You think I'm boring." // "I'd call that a radical interpretation of the text." - Willow/Oz, because I have used this
Daniel: "For a thousand years, I wielded the powers of the wish.  I brought ruin to the heads of unfaithful men. I brought forth destruction and chaos for the pleasure of the lower beings.  I was feared and worshiped across the mortal globe.  And now I'm stuck at Sunnydale High! Mortal. Child. And I'm flunking math!" - Anya


"A Virgin State of Mind" has nothing to do with sanity.
Sarah Bettens: There's a chair in my head on which I used to sit.
Daniel & Zelda: No.
Sarah Bettens: Took a pencil and I wrote the following on it.
Daniel & Zelda: No...
Sarah Bettens: Now there's a key where my wonderful mouth used to be.
Zelda:  This song makes no sense!
Daniel: No!

90s Factoid:

Willow taped Biography last Friday.

Arc/Continuity Stuff:
It won't be the last spell.

  • First appearances: D'Hoffryn, Percy West.
  • Recurrings: Anya, Snyder, Devon, Mayor, Faith, Wesley.
  • Anya's back! She lost her powers and she wants them back.
  • Willow can do pencil floating.
  • Anya's and Willow's first time doing a spell together.
  • VampWillow hails from the AlternaSunnydale Cordelia created in The Wish
  • Anya's 1120 years old.
  • Sandy, the girl VampWillow pervs on and then bites, becomes a vampire and will return twice in S5. Even though we don't see her participate in the whole sucking thing.
  • The gang once again uses Giles's fool-proof book cage to trap a dangerous demon thing.

Oz's Hair - black
Anya's Hair - brown shoulder length
Dead Humans - 1
Dead Undeads - 3
AlternaDead Undeads - 1 (VampWillow dies again)
Giles Unconscious - 0
Giles Cleans His Glasses - 0
Buffy Breaks a Door - 0
Evil Reveal - 0
Unevil Reveal - 0
Shenanigans Called - 0
Apocalypse Called - 0

Wednesday, July 17, 2013

First Word: Jail; Second Word: Bait.

Episode 3.15: Consequences. Original Airdate 2.16.99

"A homicide detective closes in on Buffy and Faith as he investigates the deputy mayor's death."

Daniel's Thoughts:

  • Guilt dreams!  I've had similar dreams that one time I accidentally watched my friend kill that guy...I mean...
  • "Giles: the next Generation."  Love it.
  • "She's a student".  See, I forgive Wesley for this since....Charisma is about 30.  I wonder if that's somehow an inside joke.
  • I love this whole conversation between Faith and Buffy - it's not just about arguing and opening up.  It clearly shows the divide of who Buffy and Faith are as people; how they handle things and how strong their morals are.
  • And at this point, I'm not even sure the police are dumb or just Going Through the Motions. Because he did mention the wooden he knows...but maybe his instructions from above are to let slayer things slide.
  • SMG has the hugest eyes!  Especially when she has emotions!
  • I'm glad they cut past the shit of not believing Buffy.  Giles is amazing and does exactly the right thing: Pretending to believe Faith and then telling Buffy as soon as they're alone.  Because he knows her.  I love Giles in this moment more than ever.
  • And Alyson is so good.  Her reaction when she gets what Xander is talking about before anyone else does. Remember when she was a subtle actress?  Bite me, HIMYM.
  • "I don't need to say 'oh'.  I got it before." - yep.  CAUSE SHE'S SMART.
  • Buffy's comment to Xander is so...  "They're kind of a big joke to her - no offense."  Um...okay?  None taken?   I mean Xander is an idiot for believing he has some 'in' with Faith just because they slept together - but come on, Buffy.  Tact. [Tact is just not saying true stuff. - Cordelia]
  • Ugh - but the crying.  Stop, Willow.  You've got a cutie-patootie boyfriend in Oz, now.  It's time to get over Xander.  I think getting upset over this is pathetic.  I'd have liked to see Cordelia's reaction, though.
  • But still - at least there's a lot of good character exploration here - In this whole episode, in fact.
  • And then there's this whole power trip Faith is using against Xander which is really kind of upsetting.
  • And Angel enters; he's never been there before - so to go back to an earlier argument regarding Kakistos, I guess Faith's place really isn't a 'home.'  Though, I bet they could have put some kind of spell on it...if anyone wanted to...
  • When exactly did Wesley find out Angel was a vampire?
During the intermission?
  • Faith said ABOAT on A BOAT!
This boat is Boston-bound, yo. Wicked.
  • Aww! Faith saved Buffy!!!
  • Yay! No more Mr. Trick.

Zelda's Thoughts:

  • Oh hai dream!Allan Finch. Thank you for following the rules of the Buffyverse: die and return for more episodes anyway.
  • And now Faith's trying to throw culpability onto Buffy, because she thinks it will keep Buffy quiet, and also because if she can convince Buffy to blame herself, she can stop feeling the blame herself.
  • Shenanigans! The detective asks the witness what time she heard Finch scream. He did not scream.
  • I love that shredding documents is feel-good therapy for the Mayor.
  • AAAAAAAAAAH he's terrifying when he laughs.
Subtext: I will destroy you and all you love.
  • "So his papers are gone. That doesn't prove anything." // "Except that somebody didn't want us to prove anything."
  • Faith's trying to rationalize that the number of people she's saved is enough to cover the person she killed. "We are better. That's right, better. People need us to survive."
  • Meep. Bye bye Faith's morality. See you next year.
  • Oh hey the deeply stupid police found Buffy! Good for you guys!
  • Aww crying Buffykins. I'm glad she tells Willow.
  • *shakes fist* Damn you, Faith! How dare you tell Giles Buffy did it!!!
  • And it's so heartbreaking when Giles makes us think he believes Faith. But then it turns out it was all an act and whew!
  • Dammit Wesley. Stop fucking things up.
  • Awww Willow's face. She figures it out about Xander and Faith right away. Her hurt over this is interesting. She's not in love with Xander anymore, she's not even in lust with him anymore, but maybe there's still this priority sense with him ... so that she can still be hurt by his first time with someone else. I don't fully understand it rationally, but ... I think I sort of get it? In any event, AH rocks in those scenes.
  • And here, unlike in The Zeppo or Grave, we see an instance where Xander's words are supremely ineffective at fixing the problem. Faith won't let you fix her, Xander.
  • I am impressed with the teenage boy who's not letting the girl distract him with the sex. He doesn't once move his hands to embrace her.
  • Geez, it's pretty scary watching her strangle Xander. She doesn't even seem fully conscious of what she's doing, that this is real.
  • I do like that they realize Angel is the one to deal with Faith - he's the one with experience with the murder and such.
  • Oh, writers, writers, writers, monologuing is not DB's forte. It's not even his piano.
I want to start using this gif every time I think I'm being
exceptionally witty.
  • Dammit Wesley. Dammit dammit dammit. Stop fucking up everything.
  • Oh lookythar Faith escaped. WELL DONE, WESLEY. WELL DONE.
  • "What can I do? I want to help." You shoulda thought of that before you fucked up all the things, Wesley.
  • Though it is sad to see him standing alone, useless.
  • "You need me to toe the line" - you didn't toe it, Faith, you crossed it. That's the problem. You don't realize you crossed it.
  • When Faith saves Buffy from Trick, it's our one salvage point - our sign that we might be able to bring her back.
President Bartlet stopped by to tell you how wrong
you were, because Faith's working for the Mayor now.
  • I love his implacable expression as he shuts the door.
  • I wonder what she thinks it means, going to work for the Mayor. What this choice means to her. Is it just a rebellious break from Buffy and the White Hats? What does she think will happen when she joins forces with a known evil (though the nature of the evil is still unknown)? It's a cool twist, to be sure, and I love where it goes, but I don't quiiiiiiiiiiite buy the reason for her choice. Maybe if she'd seen him in action besides the random hallway sighting ... Right now it just feels like a chaotic choice without rationale, and maybe that's just where her mind is right now, but I like reasons and stuff.


In our review of Faith, Hope & Trick, we had a crossfire about Faith's living arrangements. Zelda called Shenanigans on Kakistos's being able to get his arm through the door of Faith's apartment. Daniel pointed out that this was more a motel than an apartment, not a long-term living situation. Here, with Angel's being able to enter Faith's apartment without an invite is definitive proof that Daniel's assessment was correct.

D: What large glowery windows you have there, Angel.
Z: It's the stupidest house for a vampire in the world.
D: Yes, and I wanna live there.
Z: It's made of styrofoam.

Favorite Lines:

Daniel: "I don't need to say 'oh.' I got it before." - Willow
Zelda: I didn't really have one, so I'm gonna go with Trick's final line as a pretty funny way to die: "Oh no. No, this is no good at all."

Arc/Continuity Stuff:

  • Recurring: Faith, Wesley, Mayor, Trick
  • So um. Faith killed Allan Finch. And that was bad.
  • Shoutout to Michael the Warlock.
  • Buffy & Co. finally know the Mayor is evil.
  • It's good ol' Detective Stein! You may recognize him from such episodes as Ted and Becoming: Part 2.
  • Now everyone knows about the Xander/Faith boinkage.
  • The Watcher's Council has teams they send out to deal with unruly (read: murder-y) Slayers.
  • Trick is dead.
  • Faith has joined up with the Mayor.


Dead Humans - 0
Dead Undeads - 3
Giles Unconscious - 0
Giles Cleans His Glasses - 1
Buffy Breaks a Door - 0
Evil Reveal - 1 (Faith joins forces with the Mayor)
Unevil Reveal - 0
Shenanigans Called - 1
Apocalypse Called - 0

Tuesday, July 9, 2013

Want. Take. Have.

Episode 3.14: Bad Girls. Original Airdate 2.9.99

"Faith convinces Buffy to live on the wild side, with fatal consequences."

Zelda's Thoughts:

  • "Count of three isn't a plan! It's Sesame Street!"
  • Yay the Mayor I love himmmmmm.
  • "Everyone, of course, meaning me." I have ... probably used this.
  • It's kind of sad, because all Cordy has existed for the last several episodes is entering a scene to snark and then stalk away.
  • See, already the snark between Xander and Cordelia is way more in character than in Zeppo.
  • YES YES YES ALEXIS DENISOF AS TWERPY WESLEY YES YES YES (although I positively loathed him the first time I watched this season - even his first season on Angel (SPOILERS) - it's his subsequent work that makes me love him and appreciate TwerpyWesley)
  • "Is he evil? ... The last one was evil."
  • BAHAHAHAHA Buffy and Giles leaning away from Wesley:

  • I love every moment of trolling Wesley. I love it so hard.
  • "New Watcher?" // "New Watcher." // "Screw that."
Two Watchers, No Waiting

  • Oops. Buffy lost the amulet.
  • "Wait. Stop. Think." // "No. No. No." Pretty much sums up Faith's problems as a Slayer.
  • Yay. Buffy got the amulet back.
  • Troll Wesley more! It's wonderful magic happiness!
  • "You're not helping." // "No. I feel just sick about it." Theeeere's my spirit animal!
  • Aw Buffy's getting into the fun danger slayerage with Faith and Willow's feeling neglected ut oh.
  • Man, the HoYay is strong in this one.
Open your heart to me, baby,
I hold the lock and you hold the key

  • Great sequence of the Slayergirls dancing it out.
  • Wesley is so beyond ineffectual.
  • Oh hey Balthazar. You're all big and gross ain'tcha. And not nearly as dead as Wesley thinks you are.
  • So Balthazar is a demon-thing, worshiped by vampires. There's hope for Adam's plan yet!
  • "We need a little more firepower than none."
  • Theft is bad, kids. Do not try this at home. Or, you know. other people's homes.
  • Like seriously, Buffy, did you think randomly robbing a store for funsies would end well?
  • Hey! A deeply stupid Sunnydale policeman!
  • WOW with the HoYay.
  • Seriously, these cops ARE deeply stupid. They got a very good look at both Buffy and Faith, and the police department has GOT to be familiar with Buffy at this point, after, y'know, they accused her of murdering Ted and Kendra. I call Shenanigans they weren't waiting on her doorstep the next morning.
  • I'm assuming their main goal with Balthazar was to gross us out. They were very successful. I hate watching these scenes.
  • See, Faith would have had time to catch herself. She should have - Buffy saw enough to yell for her to stop - the slaying of Allan Finch didn't happen that quickly. But Faith refuses to Wait. Stop. Think.
  • Oh god, it's so sad to watch Allan Finch and Buffy stare into each other's eyes and they both realize he's dying. Even if he was working for evil, that was way harsh, Tai.
  • Faith is feeling the guilt, it's not that she's just a sociopath and not going to feel guilt. She's terrified of that guilt and that's why she shuts it down and rationalizes her entitlement to play god.
  • "A trade. Intriguing. No, wait, boring - pull off his kneecaps."
  • AD is pretty hilariously twitchy and wibbly as Wesley.
  • Yeah, Giles, headbutting a vamp. And then with a sword. Giles wins at everything. Wesley wins at nothing.
  • "When he rises, you'll wish I killed you all." Foreshadowing! 
  • Seriously, Harry Groener = best guest star in the history of all things.
  • Also, this is just the best prop ever:

  • Sorry, Faith, all the perfumes of Arabia will not sweeten your little hand. #Shakespeared
  • "Being a Slayer is not the same as being a killer." Buffy understands the line, and that she was getting close to crossing it with her reckless behavior with Faith. Faith refuses to acknowledge that she's crossed it. "No, you don't get it - I don't care." It's a lie, but if she can convince herself it's true, then she can keep moving.
  • And I love that the episode ends on a quiet awkwardness after that line.

Daniel's Thoughts:

  • Faith is such a guy with the locker room talk about Xander.  But I love the continuity and I'm glad it wasn't just dropped.
  • "Count of three isn't a plan, it's Sesame Street" - heh.
  • Allan Finch: "I like Cathy".  Aww - he's so sweet.  How did he ever get involved with the Mayor?
  • Willow got in!  To Harvard! Yale! Wesleyan! doesn't matter because she'll end up in Sunnydale, anyway.  Sunnydale...with its University.  The one next to the Starbucks that just popped up, too.
  • Wesley!!!  Has anyone seen Much Ado yet?  I hear he's fab. [He is pretty good. I'll reserve the rest of my comments til I see the movie again in better circumstances. - Z]
  • Buffy: "Is he evil?"  Hehe.  But also, valid....since the last one was.
  • Oh Alexis Denisof.  You are so wonderful.
  • "I didn't get this job because of my looks."//"I really really believe that." Hush Buffy, Wesley is adorable. [And so say all of us. - Z]

  • Double glasses wipe!
  • Also - Faith's "Screw that" is awesome - but those weird hand movements!  I really need to get my pal Lucas to do a gif of all Eliza's weird hand gestures so y'all know what I'm talking about.
  • Faith!  You are such a bad influence!
  • "Preparation, preparation, preparation."//"That's one word, three times."  Such a witty episode.
  • Giles/Tony Head is wonderful in this episode, too.  There seems to be something so freeing about being fired...  Also, it appears that Buffy has fully forgiven him for the events in "Helpless"
  • Dude, Buffy - stop interrupting Willow.  She's in test mode!
  • Also, jealous Willow!  Aww!
  • Did the teacher really not see Buffy climbing out the window?
  • Buffy and Faith's milkshake brings all the boys to the yard:

  • Balthazar is so gross.  Must have been really hard to get into that make-up.
  • Deputy Allan Finch :(
  • There is a ton of death in this episode.  But mostly undeads.
  • Giles with a sword is AWESOME.
  • Oh Faith, won't you just let Buffy in??  She wants to heeeelppp!
  • Also, she says ABOAT again but I've lost track about how many times she does this.

Hey! I made a Sporcle game!  Check it out: Buffy - Who said what?

Favorite Lines:

Zelda: "Whenever Giles sends me on a mission, he always says 'please.' And afterwards I get a cookie." - Buffy. Everything about this is perfect, especially her chirping delivery of cookie, and Giles smiling but trying not to, in response.
Daniel: "The count of three isn't a plan.  It's Sesame Street" - Buffy.

Arc/Continuity Stuff:

  • Recurrings: Faith, Trick, The Mayor, Finch, Joyce
  • First appearance: Wesley Wyndam-Pryce
  • Faith is quizzing Buffy about if she ever hooked up with Xander. Because Faith totally did.
  • First mention of the Mayor's Ascension.
  • Buffy is suspicious of Wesley because the last new Watcher was evil.
  • "I hate it when they drown me." Shoutout to Prophecy Girl!
  • Xander's eye twitches every time Buffy says Faith's name. Apparently. And also only in this scene.
  • The Mayor is responsible for crippling Balthazar.
  • The Ascension is in 100 days, and the Mayor is invincible until then.


Oz's Hair - black
Dead Humans - 1 (Allan Finch, R.I.P)
Dead Undeads - 11
Giles Unconscious - 0
Giles Cleans His Glasses - 1
Buffy Breaks a Door - 0
Evil Reveal - 0
Unevil Reveal - 0
Shenanigans Called - 1
Apocalypse Called - 0

Tuesday, July 2, 2013

Did I Mention That I'm Having a Very Strange Night?


Xander and his thing

Episode 3.13: The Zeppo. Original Airdate 1.26.99

"Xander experiences an adventure of his own when he encounters a group of reanimated corpses out to construct a bomb. Meanwhile, Buffy and her friends battle the forces of evil when the Hellmouth reopens."

Daniel's Thoughts:

  • Willow is starting to show off her witchy powers!
  • I love that these are purely female demons
  • Bullies, so accurate - no matter what Xander says, they just spit off fighting words without any context
  • I think I like this episode mostly because I can kind of identify with High School Xander a little bit here
  • Of course, I never bought a car just to have a 'thing'
  • Buffy had three jellies!  How does she stay so skinny?  Ah yes, fighting vamps and stuff
  • But way to throw Buffy under the bus, Willow.  
  • Still, I like Giles's little snit about not getting a jelly doughnut
  • I love this stupid plot - it's so ridiculously funny.
  • And Nick actually shines in this episode
  • And yes, it's a little odd that they've never really treated Xander with such kid gloves before and never really do again, but I like the story/episode enough that I don't mind the contrivance fairy
  • Awww, Xander is so desperate, he's trying to hang out with Angel
  • The knife's name is Katie!
  • So these zombies don't actually follow the rules of normal zombies...  
  • Yeah, I know Faith did say that slaying makes her hungry and horny - but Xander, really?
  • And poor Xander - losing it to a girl who will never ever call him back
  • The only thing I like about this schmoopy Angel/Buffy scene is how they show how annoyingly schmoopy these scenes really are.
  • And I love that after Xander leaves, the schmoopy music comes back
  • And I think showing a B-plot as an A-plot shows that the rest of the world matters and though Buffy & company are trying to save the world, that's not the only thing happening in the world. 
  • Although I think that point might have been made better if it was someone like Jonathan starring in this episode
  • I love the zombie getting beheaded by the mailbox
  • "Note to self!"  sounds like a 80s/90s sitcom title starring Soleil Moon Frye or something.
  • I love the monster that comes out of the hellmouth in the library - but it all seems to be repaired very quickly by the next episode
  • The countdown on the bomb is totally off.  The beeps match the seconds only when the clock is on camera.  Otherwise, it would have gone off by now
  • But I still like Xander's speech - it's clever and brave.  Two things he'll never be again.
  • And at the end, I like that Xander finally learns that being silent is part of being cool.  (This is not something he'll retain.)

Zelda's Thoughts:

  • Ugh. I hate this episode. I'm not alone in that, am I?
  • I just feel like it's working too hard, at making everyone else treat him like he's completely useless. It feels Out of Character, the degree to which everyone is behaving this way. I know Giles and Angel think Xander's useless and Cordelia's suffering from Scornedwomanitis, but Buffy and Willow are not usually this condescending. And the writers are doing it to make the point they want to make about Xander's actual value, etc., but because it's so overdone and feels out of character to me, I don't believe it, I don't trust it, and it feels unearned.
  • AND AND AND they make the point in much better ways in later episodes. The Replacement is a marvelous example of Xander realizing his worth. The season finales usually give him some kind of badass moment (leading the army of students in Graduation Day, the glorified bricklayer picking up a spare in The Gift, and other fun moments (yes, yes, yellow crayon); my point is, they know how to correctly affirm Xander's worth in proper context of who he typically is, but for the purposes of this episode, they overexaggerate his perceived non-worth, both in his eyes and in the treatment by the rest of the Scoobies. It's lazy writing and it shows.
  • Also Shenanigans! that Xander would playing catch with the jocks. So many shenanigans.
  • Xander's spazz is overdone too. And not terribly funny. (well, the Jimmy Olsen joke was good)
  • The cafeteria food looks naaaaaaaaaasty. Yay realism!
  • The Oz scene might be the best part though. "short non-committal phrases"
  • "Just need to find my thing." DIRTY
  • The light in this episode is bothering me a lot. A bunch of scenes clearly shot in late afternoon/early evening pretending they are ... other times. YOU CAN'T FOOL ME, CALIFORNIA SUN.
  • "This is my thing!" // "Is this a penis metaphor?" Buffy gets me.
  • Haha Xander bored by the girl who's into cars.
  • Angel, doing his scene of dark foreboding doomy brood of the week. Thanks, Angel! See you next time.
  • I'm glad they acknowledge Jack O'Toole is way too old for high school.
  • That's a big knife. I can't wait to tell my friends. They don't have a knife this big.
  • Oh look a cop in Sunnydale. I wonder if he's deeply stupid.
  • Xander's car chick clearly is. Like deliberately oblivious to Jack waving a knife in Xander's face.
  • I do like how chill/stoked Bob is about Jack's bringing him back from the dead.
  • Man, it's just not Giles's month. First he gets fired by the Watcher's Council, then the glowy spirit guide blows him off:
aka, fuck the hell off
  • Even the treatment of the apocalypse feels kind of out of character. The characters are all so grave and melodramatic and my god SOAPY when it comes to Angel, but the episode itself is laughing at all of this. There's self-referential humor, and there's out of character self-mockery by an entire show of itself.
  • blah blah blah cakebomb blah blah blah Faith sex blah blah blah
  • Grabbing one of the zombieboys by the arm and dragging him by the car is pretty cool though, I gotta say.
  • I like that in the midst of the high school chase, one of the zombieboys notices the Hellmouth battles.
  • I do enjoy a good hallway chase scene - Xander chases zombieboy, then runs back, chased by scary apocalypse demons.
  • And I like that Xander does scare Jack into deactivating the bomb. With his words. Just think if he had a sweet story about a yellow crayon. He could save the world!
  • Hey, Oz killed someone! But a zombie someone, so it's okay.
  • So I guess things are okay between Giles and Buffy now.
  • The one thing I do find interesting is, just like the rest of the Scoobies never find out how Xander spent his night (except for the sexytiems), so we never find out fully what this latest apocalypse was about, how it involved Angel, or how they defeated it. Beyond that? Blah. Fuck this episode.

Favorite Lines:

Daniel: Xander: "Is it about the talking? You know, the way you tend to express yourself in short, non-committal phrases?"// Oz: "Could be."
Zelda: "I always have a jelly. I'm always the one that says, 'Let's have a jelly in the mix.'" - Giles

90s Factoid:
guys wearing necklaces with supershort chains

Bob: "Whoa! Walker, Texas Ranger. You been taping 'em?" // Jack: "Every ep."
because 1 - Walker freaking Texas Ranger, and 2 - taping shows. On video tape. [Hey, I taped Buffy on video! - Z]

Arc/Continuity Stuff:

  • "Previously on Buffy the Vampire Slayer: 'You're fired.'" No, seriously. That's the entire previously for this episode. It was amazing.
  • Recurring: Faith, Willy the Snitch.
  • Willow's getting better at the magic, helping Buffy on slaying missions.
  • It's full moon time, and Oz is locking himself in the completely foolproof and safe book cage.
  • Jack's friend Bob is buried right in front of Alpert.
  • A new kind of zombie, way more sentient than those in Dead Man's Party
  • current magic shop is called: Uncle Bob's Magic Cabinet
  • Xander lost his flower.


Oz's Hair - red
Dead Humans - 0
Dead Undeads - 6
Giles Unconscious - 0
Giles Cleans His Glasses -0
Buffy Breaks a Door - 0
Evil Reveal - 0
Unevil Reveal - 0
Shenanigans Called - 1
Apocalypse Called - 1