PLEASE NOTE: THIS IS A SPOILER-RICH ZONE. If your diet requires you to dine on television spoiler-free ... good luck with that.


Tuesday, March 3, 2020

Men are Evil -- Oh Wait, I Knew That

Episode 1.12: Expecting. Original Airdate: 1.25.00

“Angel and Wesley search for answers when Cordelia wakes up eight and a half months pregnant.”

Zelda’s Thoughts:

  • As I said out loud, “Oh this is the fucking pregnancy episode.”
  • Wes strolled by to show off his new Bavarian fighting axe, hoping Cordy had a vision, also toting a word puzzle game, and this poor boo is so lonely.
  • Oh no, Cordy had a vision.
  • Also wow Cordy’s friends are just there to be vampy (well not vampy-vampy, but) and hit on Angel and Wes, and gosh aren’t clichés fun?
  • Speaking of clichés, we get the girls making a crack about Angel and Wes being gay.
  • I like that Cordy’s able to pass along her vision details and then head out with her friends. Good job Cordelia!
  • Also this is great: 
prat. fall.

  • Wesley, yelling at two old folks: WHERE DO YOU LAY YOUR EGGS?
  • Ah, shadow fighting. A nice way around special effects.
  • Angel says they only just killed the baby. I forget, does mama show up?
  • Wes, slutshaming Cordelia’s friends by calling them doxies, until Angel tells him they liked him, and just fuck all this.
  • Daniel’s face on realizing Cordelia’s date is baby Ken Marino: too cute.
  • Oh hey speaking of punishing women for their sexuality, let’s punish Cordelia for having sex with Ken Marino by making her super preggers.
  • Aw Phantom Dennis is here! And he does not want Cordelia getting busy with Ken Marino.
  • Heh, she threatens to play the Evita soundtrack. I ... kind of like ... that album?
  • Hey look, telling the truth about having a ghost earns her a kiss. Honesty, kids. It’ll get you everywhere. Including getting punished for sex.
  • There’s that pregnant belly.
  • Good good, the boys have come to her apartment when she didn’t show up to work or answer her messages.
  • Well, Wes is snarking but Angel is worried.
  • Charisma’s doing a great job with Cordelia’s quiet vulnerability. She’s scared and sad and confused as she insists that the sex she had was “safe, it was all really safe.”
  • Cordelia: I’m being punished. // Wes: You’re certainly not being punished. // Me: ARE YOU SURE ABOUT THAT? CUZ IT KINDA LOOKS LIKE SHE IS.
  • I mean, Angel and Wes are saying the right things, but fuck this whole episode. Except for Wes and the axe.
  • Hi bartender Josh Randall. Do y’all remember the show Ed about the bowling alley lawyer? I think I liked that show. [I WAS ON THAT SHOW-D] [YOU ARE THE COOLEST-Z]
  • “You the boyfriend?” // “No, I’m family.” I do miss when they were family (Spoiler, I was never a Cangel shipper)
  • Welp, she’s carrying at least six … somethings in her belly.
  • We should have made a drinking game for every time we go to a new set and Daniel declares it to be the Hyperion.
  • What the hell is up with the lighting in Serena’s apartment? Even more importantly, GASP Serena is also pregnant!
  • Hot damn, the amniotic fluid ate through the linoleum floor.
  • And here we get a new twist! Cordelia asks Wes protectively if the six whatevers in her belly looked healthy on the ultrasound.
  • Oh there are seven of them. She can tell now and says they’re talking to her. This is some effed up Bella Swan shit.
  • “Wesley, they’re not human.” // “I imagine that’s true.” I love their delivery of these lines.
  • And there’s Cordelia downing a deli cup of blood.
  • Angel uses his enhanced vampire nostrils to determine that Wilson is human and therefore not the father of her demon spawn. So who’s the daddy?
  • And Cordelia whacks Wes twice in the head with the ancient demon tome, and why don’t we have a Wes Gets Knocked Unconscious stat?
  • Ken Marino confidently shoots Angel three times in the gut. Angel, in vampface, “I really don’t like it when people shoot me”
  • And here we are at Definitely Not the Old Factory from Buffy S2, Cordelia and her two pregnant friends and like three other rando pregnant ladies for a gestation party.
  • Angel, digging bullets out of his belly while on a payphone.
  • I love that even in this grouping, Cordelia is queen
  • Wow, this shot is such Peter Jackson trickery of size. 

Very Large Demon.

  • Cordelia’s really good at getting final killing strokes in. She took out Barney before, and now she shatters the nitrogen frozen demon babydaddy.
  • “I learned men are evil. Oh, wait I knew that. I learned that LA is full of self-serving phonies. No, had that one down, too … sex is bad?” //  Angel: “We all know that.”
  • “I learned that I have two people I trust absolutely with my life. And that part’s new.”

Daniel’s Thoughts:

  • Neither of us are looking forward to this episode.
  • Cordelia is going out with her pretty model friends.
  • And they’re both crushing on Wesley & Angel.
  • “The good ones are always gay.” Eye-roll.
  • Hey Ken Marino?  Has anyone seen Medical Police on Netflix yet?  Ken Marino reprises his role from Children’s Hospital – but also, when we first see him, he’s just in a towel and, damn, man.
  • Wow, he’s so young!  What a babe, too, wow. 
Look at that chin dimple

  • And a charmer, too.
  • Cordelia says she’s talking too much about herself.  And normally, I’d say, sure – classic Cordy – but I’m sure she left a lot out.
  • Oh phantom Dennis trying to ruin Cordelia’s date.
  • Cordelia’s like 8 months pregnant!  After one night of sex!  Sex is bad, kids!
  • And only the first time Cordelia’s been supernaturally pregnant.
  • Hey, look at all that direct sunlight coming into the room.
  • Aww Phantom Dennis is so sweet, floating tissues over to her.
  • Oh man, the ultrasound reveals 6 (or more) heartbeats.
  • Serena, you shouldn’t drink when you’re pregnant…with a litter of demon babies…
  • Wow, so Cordy has acid inside of her….that’s a thing.  Good visual effect on the acid on the floor, though.
  • Where did Cordelia get maternity clothes already? Did she just already have big overalls? [Did she borrow Buffy's overalls of sadness? No, she's too tall to wear SMG's clothes ...  -Z]
  • Charisma’s doing some great work here – the slow descent into madness.
  • Eww, Cordelia’s drinking blood.
  • Me in the middle of the night.:

  • So all these bros find women without families to get them pregnant with demon spawn.  Just bros being bros.
  • This bit of it is interesting.  The babies form a psychic connection that kind of possesses the mom.
  • Relic from an older time: A phonebooth!
  • Wesley is so British and Alexis, as an American, does a really amazing job.

Angel: Featured word: Ass.
D, speaking the words in Z’s heart: I want that to be our title but we’d get too many bad hits.

Favorite Lines:
Zelda: I like to get to know my opponents, before I engage them in mortal combat. Do you have any hobbies? - Wes
Daniel: I learned that I have two people I trust absolutely with my life - Cordelia

Recurring: Phantom Dennis
Generally Known TV Face: Ken Marino (VINNIE VAN LOWE!), Josh Randall

Cordelia’s Hair – windblown curls
Dead Humans – 0
Dead Undeads – 2 (and 42 fatal fetal demons)
Dead Flashbacks – 0
Dead Lawyers – 0
Cordelia Has a Vision – 1
Wesley Prat-falls – 1
Lawyered Ex Machina – 0
Evil Reveal – 0
Unevil Reveal – 0
Shenanigans Called – 0
Apocalypse Called – 0
Prophecy Called – 0