PLEASE NOTE: THIS IS A SPOILER-RICH ZONE. If your diet requires you to dine on television spoiler-free ... good luck with that.


Tuesday, July 25, 2017

I'm Cookie Dough

Episode 7.22: Chosen. Original Airdate 5.20.03

"After killing Caleb, Buffy conceives a plan to defeat the First once and for all. Willow invokes a magic spell that alters the ancient Slayer spell and gives Buffy the allies she needs to fight the Uber-Vamp army. An epic battle ensues and several good friends are lost. At the end, Buffy faces a completely new problem - one she's glad to have."

Zelda's Thoughts: 

  • it's the finale you guys. no more Buffies
  • "Okay, how many times do I have to kill you? Ballpark figure?" srsly tho
  • wow she just
  • she bisected him
  • fuck you, misogynist.
  • "It's not for you." // "Splainy?" heeee
  • "Is he your boyfriend?" .. "Is that your business?" YEAH, ANGEL, IN LOVE WITH COMA-CORDELIA, IS IT YOUR BUSINESS?
  • though DB always was good at being petty. "You know, I started it - the whole having-a-soul - before it was all the cool new thing."
  • Captain Peroxide is Riley's diss on Spike, not Angel's. Have Riley and Angel been hanging out?
  • I do very much like the cookie dough speech, mostly because it's pointing out that the show's never been about which guy Buffy ends up with. Sure, that's what fans get up in arms over (Daniel and I certainly fight about it), but it's not what the show's about. Buffy doesn't have to decide, at the age of 22, whom she wants to go off into the sunset with for the rest of her life. She's still becoming Buffy. If a show is going to be about female empowerment, it can't also be about which guy is laying claim to her.
  • *kick* // "Ow." // "Dumbass." // "Don't look at me, this is a Summers' thing, it's all very violent." // "If you get killed, I'm telling."

  • I use that one a lot.
  • "I also used my enhanced vampire eyeballs."
  • Hahaha so this picture?
Daniel made a birthday card for me with it on it. It's the best and I keep it on my fridge.

  • my shipppppppppppppppppppppppppp LOOK AT THEM hahaha I didn't even wait too long after my female empowerment paragraph, did I? 

  • ahhh I remember when this episode aired, and Spike's "drowning in footwear" dream was immediately interpreted as a Shanshu allusion.
  • how come Spike's not in the cabinet meeting? It's all the core Scoobies plus Faith, but no Spike. Also no Wood?
  • Sooooooo there's a question I have. Buffy goes "so here's the part where you make a choice." And I guess that choice is whether or not to go into the Hellmouth with everyone else, but ... they don't get a choice about having their Slayer selves activated. Willow's spell affects everyone with the Slayer potential, at any age. It's beautiful, but they don't have any more choice in the matter than Buffy did.
  • "Oh please, I am so much prettier than you are." Robin Wood, you are not wrong.
  • Ah, this is the speech where Joss tries to convince us to stop hating Kennedy. Didn't work.
  • I think it's adorable that Andrew is helping distract people before the battle with a bit of D&D. And that Amanda knows what she's doing.
  • "I used to be a highly respected Watcher, and now I'm a wounded dwarf with the mystical strength of a doily." This almost made the cut for my favorite line. There were far too many contenders.
  • FINAL BATTLE TIME LET'S GO. "Welcome to Sunnydale High. There's no running in the halls, no yelling, no gum chewing. Apart from that, there's only one rule: if they move, kill them."
  • "There's some people I'd like to thank, both good and evil."
  • Fan service time! When the four of them stood in a circle, we all knew somehow what would happen and it did and I love them. The earth is definitely doomed.
  • There's a lot about this episode that is really quite beautiful, even if the season preceding it was not satisfying. The walk down the hall, each Scooby peeling off to their station. The Potentials standing in a circle over the seal.
  • Oh look, it's All The Turok-Hans.
  • Is Spike having PTSD from when he was tortured? He looks particularly horrified.
  • Oh. My. Goddess.
  • "What if you could have that power, now? In every generation, one Slayer is born ... because a bunch of men who died thousands of years ago made up that rule. They were powerful men. This woman is more powerful than all of them combined. So I say we change that rule. I say my power should be our power. Tomorrow, Willow will use the essence of the scythe to change our destiny. From now on, every girl in the world who might be a Slayer WILL be a Slayer. Every girl who could have the power, will have the power. Can stand up, will stand up. Slayers, every one of us. Make your choice. Are you ready to be strong?"
  • The girls' faces as they feel the power infuse in them.
  • Willow, glowing with the not-evil magic.
  • "I have swimmer's ear!"
  • Aw shit Buffy got gut stabbed
  • "Hold the line."
  • And it's such a beautiful gesture. The scythe isn't just Buffy's now. It's Faith's. It's Rona's.
  • (it's not Amanda's, she just died. RIP Amanda)
  • "I want you to get out of my face."
  • "Oh Bollocks." Guys, I think Spike's Liz Taylor neckware is working.
  • Andrew's plaintive "why" when he's not dead but he knows Anya is.
  • Man, this school was brand new and it's already collapsing.
  • "I love you." "No you don't. But thanks for saying it."
  • "I want to see how it ends." I wish I wish I wish they hadn't been so damn proud to have signed JM for Angel. I wish I hadn't known that any death wouldn't be permanent. It meant I was never able to quite invest in his sacrifice, even as we see his skull turn to ash.
  • I'm impressed that a school bus has the horsepower to escape the cratering of Sunnydale. I didn't think they could move that quickly. You know, safety and all.
  • RIP, Welcome to Sunnydale sign. well, and Sunnydale.
  • Andrew, telling a lie (he didn't see Anya fall) to help the mythology of her death, to make Xander feel a bit better.
  • "Yeah, Buffy, what are we gonna do now?"
  • okay but her smile is so beautiful and I'm having feelings and I HAVE SO MANY ISSUES WITH SEASON SEVEN but god that was a beautiful final shot.
  • we finished Buffy, you guys. what are we gonna do now?

Daniel's Thoughts:

  • Buffy: “You have to leave LA”.  It’s ok, Buffy, the crappy season of Angel is over.
  • Oh hey, Caleb is not dead. GASP.
  • Sliced up the middle, Caleb is.  Won’t be the last one this episode.
  • Buffy, “He had to split.” Haaaaaaaa.  Oh Buffy with the dad jokes.
  • Angel: “I’m getting the brushoff for Captain Peroxide”
  • Buffy referenced another WB show! (Dawson).  Is that allowed?  And is it allowed more or less now they’re on CW.
  • Oh, the oft made-fun of cookie dough metaphor. But also, they made t-shirts.  It’s also going on a bit long.  Buffy’s not good with the metaphors.
  • I’m still not sure why Buffy doesn’t want Angel in this fight.  I mean he’s there and he’s a big asset.  It has more to do with Joss/the network/powers that be not wanting Angel to take over when this is Buffy’s show which I totally get.
  • I love Dawn kicking Buffy.  It’s so cute. 

  • Xander, “Sometimes I shouldn’t say words.”  Seven seasons and you’re finally figuring it out?
  • But seriously, Spike’s drawing of Angel is fantastic.
  • Aww, yay, Giles and Buffy are making up.
  • Final Buffy inspirational speech.
  • I seriously wouldn’t mind the Faith/Wood show.
  • Awww.  Earlier when Xander said something stupid, Anya rubbed his hair.  Now that Anya’s asleep, Xander lovingly rubs her hair.  It’s adorbs.
  • So many things wrong in this final battle.
  • Why couldn’t Willow do her thing before the fight started?  That’s one.
  • Teams of two.  Great – but why is Anya with Andrew?  Arguably the two weakest fighters.  (Let's face it, Anya's not a great fighter when she's not a demon and she's not going to get the slayer strength the other girls will get.) Couldn’t Anya drive the bus?  [OMG IT COULD HAVE FULFILLED THE SCENE FROM RESTLESS! MISSED OPPORTUNITY. - Z] Really, Buffy could have thought of other jobs for Anya & yes, even Andrew.
  • “The Earth is definitely doomed.” Aww.
  • See, Anya knows a bit of magic and has helped Willow before.  She could have helped, while Kennedy, one of the stronger potentials, could actually fight.  Also, Anya would def kill dark Willow if it came to that. (Or hold her off, somehow.  It would have been a nice ending to their turbulent relationship)
  • “as long as Willow’s spell has time to work before…”  Again, why didn’t they do it earlier? 
  • Love this montage of women and girls all over the world getting their slayer strength.
  • I’m glad Willow’s hair didn’t stay white.
  • Now go help, Willow, with your magics.  Ball of sunshine or something…anything.
  • Vi really kills a lot of them.
  • “I just figured you would be terrified and I would be sarcastic about it.”
  • The thing is….They set this up terribly.  They’re killing these vamps too easily.  Anya and Giles and everyone -  when it took them two episodes to kill one.
  • The first time Anya got sliced, I completely missed it.  It happens so fast.  I really hate that.  She deserves better than what she got, how she was always treated.
  • And I know that's the point. The whole, quick pointless deaths happen in battle point. Stop telling me that's the point. It's the wrong point.
  • Anya just gets sliced in half while Spike gets a hero’s death.  A death while killing all the vampires.  And he’s not even dead as we know he’s on Angel’s next season.
  • Well.  Anya’s in the dimension with no shrimp, now.  
  • I don't know if I've shared this in the past but I love this.  Here's my dedication (that I totally didn't make) to Anya:
(credit to michaelvm92 of youtube. Singer: Yael Naim)

  • I sure hope everyone made it out of Sunnydale! 
  • Andrew: “Why didn’t I die?”  Audience: “We have no idea.”
  • Kind of a really cool effect to see the whole town go into a pit.  Although, I didn’t see an airport, or a beach, or….a Starbucks...
  • And this is the worst part.  Xander’s reaction to Andrew telling him about Anya,  “That’s my girl.  Always doing the stupid thing.”  FUCK YOU XANDER.  It just seems so disingenuous.  It’s partly the delivery, it's mostly the delivery.
  • I mean we don’t get to mourn her death and it sucks.  He’s the only one that asks about her.  She was one of them, one of the scoobies.  Where is everyone’s concern?  There’s no time for it and that’s part of the problem. 
  • Xander mentions Starbucks.  It was in the mall the whole time.
  • So how did they beat The First exactly?  All the uber vamps are gone, ok…but.  Eh, never mind.

Favorite Lines:
Zelda: I can't choose between "Are you ready to be strong?" and "The earth is definitely doomed."
Daniel: "I just figured you'd be terrified and I'd be sarcastic about it." -Anya

Arc/Continuity Stuff:

  • Recurring: Angel, Caleb, The First (as Buffy, Caleb), Giles, Faith, Wood, Potentials SLAYERS (Kennedy, Rona, Vi, Amanda, et al), Andrew, Turok-Hans, Anya's bunny fear, Bringers
  • Shoutout to when The First came for Angel in Amends
  • literal shoutout to Tucker in Andrew's speech
  • Shoutout to the Cleveland Hellmouth (from The Wish)
Anya's Hair - blonde, loopy curls
Dead Humans - 3
Dead Undeads - 25 (and then we lose count when the amulet activates)
Dead Flashbacks - 0
Dead Potentials - 2
Giles Unconscious - 0
Giles Cleans His Glasses - 0 
Buffy Breaks a Door - 0
Buffy Breaks a Sunnydale - 1
Evil Reveal - 0
Unevil Reveal - 0
Shenanigans Called - 0
Apocalypse Called - 0

HEY MARSHMALLOWS...!  We'll have our series recap next week before we take a bus from Sunnydale to Neptune and delve into Veronica Mars recaps.  Stay tuned!

Tuesday, July 18, 2017

Mortally Wounded Easter Baskets

Episode 7.21: End of Days. Original Airdate 5.13.03

"Buffy has a powerful new weapon, but the gang cannot find any information about the origins of the mysterious scythe. Eventually the Slayer herself goes in search of knowledge, and finds a new ally, an old friend, and great danger."

Daniel's Thoughts:

  • Caleb; “The question is, can you pry it from solid rock before I-“  *buffy grabs the sythe from solid rock.*
  • She’s like King Arthur! Yes! I love how powerful Buffy is.
  • This is the first time we see Caleb look scared and it’s amazing.
  • Hey Andrew looted. Which makes him one of the only people doing his part to feed everyone.
  • And Buffy’s back to save the day!
  • OK, so all is forgiven.  I guess. 
  • Why does skinny Minnie keep saying “we were punished.” Punished for what?  Kicking Buffy out?  But more importantly, punished by who?
  • Willow gets her computer out to find out about the scythe.   What is she going to google….ancient scythes”?
  • “Trying to talk will just kill you sooner”
  • Aww, Anya is so cute.
  • I like Giles and Willow working together.  It’s not just the magic that made them close, but their thirst for knowledge.
  • Miss Kitty Fantastico mention….except we find out that Dawn killed her…   aww.
  • Ugh, it’s such a really crappy way to take Dawn out of the picture….I mean, chloroforming? Just the image of a man chloroforming a young girl…  we know it’s for a good reason but…  They could have thought of something else?
  • “Good thing we’re hot chicks with Super Powers”  - Faith
  • “You are the perfect woman.” “I’ve often thought so.” 
  • They’re dressing Anya like an old woman again.
  • This whole conversation between Andrew and Anya about possibly surviving is so troll-y. The writers KNOW.  They KNOW.
  • Weird ghost lady who is not a ghost: I’ve been here the whoooole timmmme.
  • Production meeting: “Where does she get the taser?”  “On her.”  “Works for me.”
  • It’s Angel!  Dun dun dun!
  • Look how thick his neck is!
  • “God, I miss watching this.” Awww!  It's one of my favorite things about Buffy's suitors....and yes, I mean all of them, no matter how you feel about Angel, Riley, and/or Spike - they all look at her with awe when she does what she does best.
  • But not Parker.  Fuck that guy.
  • Yayyy, Caleb’s…..dead?

Zelda's Thoughts:

  • Oh god I love so much when she just removes the scythe from rock like it was buttah. Very King Arthur.
  • and then Nathan Fillion reminds me why he's delightful. "Darn."
  • hey remember when Buffy was like hey I think Caleb's hiding a toy in the vineyard and not only was she right, but the toy helps them avert the apocalypse? remember?
  • "Faith go boom." oops
  • we can't tell if the unconscious and unnamed Potentials are corpsified or just unconscious. [update: our argument, which consisted of Daniel saying "those are corpses" and me saying "maybe they're sleeping" has been solved with a glance at the shooting script. Daniel wins]
  • Oh shit son. More than one Uber-vamp
  • "I think we got punished." See see see. Buffy doesn't let them do that. It was a trap. It wasn't punishment for betraying Buffy. Not once does Buffy hold any of them accountable for their shittiness for her. The mission is what matters.
  • "The good guys are not traditionally known for their communication skills." I think that's the closest we get to any words of apology or forgiveness.
  • "Trying to talk will just kill you sooner." Oh Anya.
  • I do think it's adorable that the writers noticed Emma Caulfield's and Tom Lenk's adorable chemistry and wrote them wacky adventures.
  • Buffy and Xander are wearing matching denim jackets. 

  • (for the record, this picture came up earlier than an actual picture of our Scoobies when I did an image search)
  • Buffy's return also brings the return of Buffy trusting and validating the rest of the Scoobies. "You're my strength, Xander."
  • And also the return of cute banter. "Also, you can't shoot a bow and arrow anymore, and every time you pick up a sword, I worry that you're gonna break one of our good lamps." // "Hey!" // "Don't look at me, you're the one who said I'm gonna die." // "I never said you were gonna die. I implied that you were gonna die. It's totally different." // "Yeah, okay, sure." // "Besides, if you die, I'll just bring you back to life. That's what I do."
  • Giles keeps taking off his glasses and putting them back on but not cleaning them and I feel personally taunted.
  • It's lucky how this sudden pagan temple is local to the Hellmouth.
  • "It's old. It's strong and it feels like - like it's mine ... I guess that means it's yours." Hoo boy poor Faith.
  • "Everybody's looking to me, trusting me to lead them, and I've never felt so alone in my entire life ... and that's you every day, isn't it?" // "I love my friends. I'm very grateful for them. But that's the price. Being a Slayer."
  • "You're a dope and a bonehead and you're shirty." // "Have you gone completely carrot top?" [What's with the dadaism, Red? - Spike]
  • oooh more good Spuffy speeching for meeeeeeeee. "Were you there with me?" // "I was." // "What does that mean?"
  • I'd like Andrew's arc of deciding to fight the good fight more it if weren't also intrinsically wrapped up in by-the-way-Anya-dies-ness
  • oh look a tomb on unconsecrated grounds that Buffy - who's been patrolling the graveyards for seven years - has only just noticed. oh look
  • Is Sunnydale secretly a Tardis?
  • The sudden addendum to the mythology is random and weird and shoehorned in, BUT at the same time I do like that there's been another group watching over the Slayer line, a non-patriarchal group. "We forged it in secrecy and kept it hidden from the Shadow Men ... and they became the Watchers, and the Watchers watched the Slayers, but we were watching them ... Guardians."
  • "And then there were men here, and then there were monks. And then there was a town. And now there was you."
  • "We're the last surprise," says the woman about to get her neck snapped and then also Angel's gonna show up and then Spike's gonna spoiler even though it's already been announced that James Marsters is joining the cast of Angel oops.
  • Buffy sending Dawn away under care of Xander is a nice reversal of what she told Giles earlier this season, that she'd be willing to let Dawn die this time, even when she wouldn't, two years ago. Perhaps the loss at the first fight at the vineyard reminded her what she's not actually willing to lose.
  • Okay it's all delightful that Dawn tasers Xander and drives the car back but SHENANIGANS on how she's able to do that while he's still in the driver's seat.
  • gasp it's Angel. hi Angel
  • soooooooo we're going to ignore Angel's context on his own show, right? how he just killed his son in order to save him, while also losing his new True Love, Cordelia, to a coma, to say nothing of signing over to work for Wolfram & Hart? we're just gonna ... yeah we're just gonna ignore that. this Angel exists in a void, here only for the Bangel of it all.
  • yeah cuz they're kissing. Cordelia who?
  • I'm also a little irate that the ep ends with The First whispering "that bitch" to a watching Spike, as if we're supposed to believe this is how they get him to turn on Buffy. Just ... stop wasting our time with completely unbelievable red herrings, 'kay? We're almost done here.


Z: What should we choose for our cover photo?
D: Angel and Buffy kissing, of course.
Z: ... don't make me insist we do Spike for our finale picture.
D: okay, okay ...

Favorite Lines:

Daniel: "And they have no purpose that unites them, so they just drift around, blundering through life until they die, which they-they know is coming, yet every single one of them is surprised when it happens to them. They're incapable of thinking about what they want beyond the moment. They kill each other, which is clearly insane... and yet here's the thing. When it's something that really matters, they fight. I mean, they're lame morons for fighting, but they do! They never... they never quit. So I guess I'll keep fighting too." - Anya
Zelda: "We'll go be heroes." - Spike (shut up, I read the whole Spuffy scene and loved it but couldn't pick a particular line, so I went with the conclusion)

Arc/Continuity Stuff:

  • Recurring: fancy scythe, Caleb, The First (as Buffy), Potentials (Amanda, Caridad, Vi, Kennedy, et al), Faith, Turok-hans, Andrew, Angel
  • we finally find out what happened to Miss Kitty Fantastico, and it ain't pretty. Rest in peace, Miss Kitty.
  • Shoutout to when Anya skipped town for the "Graduation Day" apocalypse

Anya's Hair - blonde, curly
Dead Humans - 4
Dead Undeads - 4 (we're not counting Caleb yet because we know the future)
Dead Flashbacks - 0
Dead Potentials - 4
Giles Unconscious - 0
Giles Cleans His Glasses - 0
Buffy Breaks a Door - 0
Caleb Breaks a Wine Cask - 1
Evil Reveal - 0
Unevil Reveal - 0
Shenanigans Called - 1
Apocalypse Called - 0

Tuesday, July 11, 2017

What the Bananas?

Episode 7.20: Touched. Original Airdate 5.6.03

"Faith and the Potentials search underground for a weapon, whilst Buffy confronts Caleb at the vineyard."

Zelda's Thoughts: 

  • oh look. oh look. the gang is already in complete chaotic disarray. Buffy's been gone three minutes?
  • "We're wasting time arguing about how to argue."
  • aw baby Felicia Day. "Please do not mention parliamentary procedure."
  • depressed Buffy is depressed. "This is not your house. It's not your town. Not anymore."
  • I like the style of the shaky hand held camera now the steady leader's out of the picture.
  • Kennedy's so pissed she doesn't get to be HBIC. too damn bad, kid. you don't know how to lead yet.
  • "THERE'S A TRANSLATION OF IT?" (sigh, can't find a gif) You know what, I still don't love MT, but I love Dawn's growth so much this season (except for last ep), and how she's clearly and adorably on the Watcher Path. It's great.
  • "He's a bit of fresh air, isn't he? Thank god I don't breathe."
  • "You sad, sad ungrateful traitors. Who do you think you are? ... You're her friends and you betray her like this?" Not everything Spike is saying is right, but this wake up call for the team is necessary. "She has saved your lives again and again. She's died for you."
  • enhance vampire nostrils
  • I do like this scene, of Andrew speaking for the Bringer. It's creepy and awesome. "We exterminate girls and destroy the legacy of the Slayer."
  • "WHAT THE BANANAS. You are so lucky that you did not just magically decapitate me."
  • Shenanigans. We saw Spike's entire interaction within the Summers house and not once did they tell him the nature of Buffy's plan against which they rebelled. He has no way of knowing she thought there was something in the Vineyard and wanted to go back. I do love the speech he's got coming up, but come on, lazy writers.
  • "Hey hey hey hey hey, language! You're a leader now."
  • The way Buffy's face lifts when Spike says he hit Faith. When will these kids work out their tried-to-kill-each-other differences?
  • "Casualties. It just sounds so ... casual. These are girls that I got killed. I knew I was gonna lose some of them ..."
  • haters gonna hate, I love Spike's speech. (don't worry, I've got the bulk of it below in Favorite Lines)
  • "I don't wanna be the one." The small broken voice she uses. It reminds me of "Prophecy Girl." "Does it say how he's gonna kill me? Do you think it'll hurt?"
  • "Will you just hold me?" MY SHIPPER HEART.

  • The First is a jerkface. But I still love Harry Groener. "Nobody will ever love you. Not the way I love you."
  • "He was like an old boss of mine." NO HE WAS HER FATHER FIGURE. Like. I know they were both villains at the time. But. I still loved Faith's relationship with the Mayor so much. The love there. The performances from both actors.
  • Wood has chemistry with everyone because DB Woodside is the best, but I'm glad the show took advantage of his chemistry with Faith :)
  • meanwhile blah blah blah Kennedy
  • tiiiiiiiime for a montaaaaaaaaaaaaaaage. a everyone has sex and Spuffy just stare meaningfully into each others' eyes montage
  • quippy Buffy's back! "Hey, heard you got something of mine."
  • oh look it's the Matrix moment. everything from the 2000s has to have a Matrix slow mo wavy arm deflection thingamajig. (WHY ARE THERE NO GIFS)
  • Caleb, to The First (while fighting Buffy): "Do you have to look like that? Cuz it's just a little confusing."  Yes but it's also way cheaper to just have SMG play the First.
  • It's officially too dark for us to tell if people are dying in the arsenal fight. We think three Bringers, but ...
  • I do like the parallel filming of Buffy and Faith both going to uncover what they think's being kept from them. Buffy finds the pretty scythe, Faith finds the oops bomb
  • aaaaaaah and the countdown keeps going into the blackout screen WHAT WILL HAPPEN

Daniel's Thoughts:

  • So I realized while watching this episode that this is the first watch-thru where I have my new tattooooo. So I wanted to share with y'all:

  • So, we start exactly where we left off, yet Anya’s hair has completely curled
  • Anya and Willow, regretting their dialogue from last episode, are completely sad-faced.
  • Oops, someone forgot to pay the power bill.  Nope, just the power company leaving Sunnydale?
  • Yep, pack up people.  Get out of town before the biggest sinkhole ever.
  • TAB?   WHO DRINKS TAB in 2003??
  • Hey. Buffy’s cold is gone.
  • Also, Faith telling Kennedy to shut up is wonderful.  She needs to do the same for Rona.
  • Hey, Spike’s back just in time to be the only good guy voice of reason. Great.
  • Hey, now we’re shitting on Rupert again.  Six seasons of awesome Giles means nothing.  Let’s just completely eviscerate his character.
  • “Did you know I could just walk in here?”  Heh, contrivance, but also kinda cool.  The town is in turmoil.  The owner of the house has left...he has no right to it anymore.
  • Aww, Faith’s trying to be all leader-y. It’s good of Giles to give her encouragement.
  • Hey! The Mayor First.   Walk, away, Faith! You know it’s not him!
  • Hey! Spike’s threatening murder! With his soul!
  • Are Spike & Buffy still talking? I fell asleep for a sec.
  • Seriously, this scene is taking forever.  I’ll recap the entire scene for you:

Buffy: I feel bad and everyone hates me.
Spike: You’re awesome and I’m the only one who will tell you that because I’m awesome and the writers apparently hate everyone else.

  • So if the First was listening to Faith/Giles talk before, does that mean, he knows their plan?  I mean it doesn’t even need to show itself; it can just listen in the shadows whenever it wants.
  • Omg, Wood is the best. His facial expressions and comedy are on point.
  • Faith/Wood.  I totally ship it.  And I love how Faith is on top.
  • Hey everyone’s having sex!  It’s great that two couples have been able to find a room in a house literally filled with girls. 
  • I mean, I like that Willow’s getting what she needs sexually, but they’re making Kennedy seem like more than that.  And she really shouldn’t be. Because she's not.
  • Hey, Anya & Xander found a place to be alone too.  Yay couple #3 having sex!
  • Wow, I mean, I do have to say, it’s pretty remarkable what they’re showing on network tv in 2003.  A couple of years earlier, they were afraid to show two women kiss. (granted, it was another network) – and now they’re showing Kennedy lick up Willows body.
  • So now Buffy’s joined the Matrix.
  • Buffy and Caleb are destroying the winery. Ugh, what a waste of wine.
  • Ooooh, the scytheeeeee 
Favorite Lines:
Zelda: "I've been alive a bit longer than you, and dead a lot longer than that ... A hundred plus years, and there's only one thing I've ever been sure of - you ... I'm not asking you for anything. When I say 'I love you,' it's not because I want you or because I can't have you. It has nothing to do with me. I love what you are, what you do, how you try. I've seen your kindness and your strength. I've seen the best and the worst of you. And I understand with perfect clarity what you are. You're a hell of a woman." - Spike. DEAL WITH IT.
Daniel: "We're all on death's door repeatedly ringing the doorbell like maniacal girl scouts trying to make quota." -Anya

Arc/Continuity Stuff:

  • Recurring: Giles, Potentials (Kennedy, Amanda, Vi, Caridad, et al), Faith, Wood, Andrew, Bringers, Caleb, The First (as Buffy, Mayor Richard Wilkins III)

Anya's Hair - blonde, messy middle cut, suddenly and inexplicably curly
Dead Humans - 0
Dead Undeads - 3
Dead Flashbacks - 0
Dead Potentials - 0
Giles Unconscious - 0
Giles Cleans His Glasses - 0
Buffy Breaks a Door - 1 (about time)
Evil Reveal - 0
Unevil Reveal - 0
Shenanigans Called - 1
Apocalypse Called - 0

Wednesday, July 5, 2017

Everyone Sucks But Buffy

Episode 7.19: Empty Places. Original Airdate 4.29.03

"After their horrifying loss at the vineyard, the gang turn against Buffy and begin to follow Faith instead. Meanwhile, Spike and Andrew travel to an old church to question a priest about Caleb."

Daniel's Thoughts:

  • I think one of the reasons we had such a big hiatus is because we’re both dreading this episode. [You're not wrong. - Xander]
  • Maybe I can find something I like…..maybe.
  • So, I’m not really sure why everyone in Sunnydale has decided to leave.  I know there’s a big bad apocalypse coming but….why now as opposed all the other….apocali?  Is it because Joss wanted to limit the casualties because he knew he was going to spoiler the town?
  • It’s just all so convoluted…just like everything in this episode.
  • Hey Clem!  There’s something I don’t mind about this ep.
  • SMG is so hoarse.  The show must go on.
  • Interesting….Willow’s going all Jedi on the cop. 
  • It’s a nice moment between Willow & Xander….friends til the end.  And Buffy, it seems, feels almost like a third wheel in this scene like she's always sort of had.  It crops up now and then. Also, the incredible guilt.
  • Anya’s trying to be helpful…at least.  She’s saying a lot that could have helped in the finale…but will not.  Like sunlight….where was Willow’s new sun ball spell?
  • Faith “trade you for a carton of cigarettes and some soap” heh.
  • I’m glad Nathan Fillion made up for being misogynist Caleb in other things.  He’s really good here, but it’s hard to like him.
  • I mean he’s just male Glory as far as strength and powers.  But he’s not fun like past villains.
  • I really don’t care about Andrew’s hot pocket.   Neither does Giles.
  • Andrew & Spike.  Exactly the Buffy spin-off I didn’t want to see.
  • I’m glad all the potentials packed club clothes…
  • “You sent away the one person who’s been watching my back, again.”  Really Buffy??  No one else has your back? Willow? Xander? Anya?  You can’t think of anyone else?  Sure you’re mad at Giles, but also fuck you.
  • Hey!  The First Buffy has a cold too!
  • I seriously don’t remember anything about the cops in this episode.  It’s like I'm seeing it for the first time.   But I also kinda don’t care.  
  • It is cool seeing Faith kick some major ass, though.
  • So the cops are getting hellmouthed….How convenient that none of the potentials or scoobies are…?  Or maybe Giles and Wood were getting hellmouthed last ep?
  • Ugh, everyone’s just fighting and mad at each other.  It’s one of the reasons I hate this ep.  It’s such a downer.
  • I like season 7 Faith, but for those who didn’t see Angel, they kinda missed the redemption….and even though they might have read about it, it’s a bit weird, since the last time we saw Faith, she was trying to kill Buffy.
  • They’ve finally decided to not dress Anya like an old woman.  I like her weird sweater crop top.
  • Hey, Spike speaks Latin.
  • I hate this.  I hate that everyone’s ganging up on Buffy.  I hate that Buffy is making a dumb decision for the sole reason of everyone ganging up on her.
  • “Democracies don’t win battles”.  Really?  This is something Buffy actually believes?
  • Anya, “You really think you’re better than we are.”  Why this vitriol?  It’s weird.  Buffy doesn’t think she’s better than anyone.  “It just makes you luckier.”  Luckier? Really?  And this is one of the reasons why I hate this episode.   The writers are making me hate everyone.  Even my beloved Anya.  How dare they?  It’s just all convoluted – because it doesn’t even matter in the end. This, above everything makes me so mad.  As insensitive as Anya's been in the past, this still doesn't feel like something she'd say. She's fought along Buffy for years.  She knows Buffy isn't lucky. Maybe she's scared because Xander lost an eye...but then make it about that.  Let's see that.
  • And then why make Dawn say this:  “You can’t stay here.”?  What? When did Dawn OR ANYONE start paying the bills on this house?  If you don’t want her there, then you ALL need to fucking leave.
  • “Ding Dong, the witch I dead.”  SHUT THE FUCK UP RONA.

Zelda's Thoughts:

  • Ugh. We've been putting this off so long for a reason. We even went to France to avoid this episode.
  • So how come, for the first time, the town got the memo about the apocalypse? I guess things have been extra hellmouth-y. But you'd think it would be in the First's better interests to keep civilians around, to keep the body count high?
  • wow SMG's voice is completely gone, poor thing.
  • "Not that I swing cats. Or eat. Nope. Cuttin' way back. Cholesterol. Morals. I mean morals." Clem is delightful.
  • Okay we got through the cutesy end of the world cold open, how much longer do I have to wait til the end of the episode and we're done with the gang betraying Buffy?
  • Giles and Willow are terrible at impersonating Interpol.
  • I want to give Xander's family the benefit of the doubt that they've already left town, and that's why they're not with him in the hospital, but let's face it, they're all shit.
  • NB is doing a good job with this scene, trying to be strong, not show how Buffy's aloofness hurts him.
  • "Willow. Please don't."
  • What is a problem is how demoralized the troops are, and that does need fixing, and Buffy's usual speechifying won't fix it (nor will Anya's sex talk, for the record).
  • Why is Faith talking about Anya like she's got a lot of familiarity with her? How much have those two even interacted?
  • I do like Faith's quick reading of Buffy - she sees how she's staying stoic, she recognizes the defense tactic, and she knows Buffy needs a bit of a break. Faith's the only one here who really knows what it is to be a Slayer, and even she doesn't know what it is to carry Buffy's burden. Yet. 
  • oh man, the photo of our season one Scoobies. #feels
  • oh man (again). The way Buffy goes completely still except for a slight tremor, when Caleb appears. She knows how much he can hurt her now.
  • ugh Caleb is the fucking worst. "Mind your manners ... You're angry, frustrated, scared - I like that in a girl."
  • Apparently enough people haven't left Sunnydale to keep The Bronze a happening joint
  • It is a good idea of Faith's, distract the troops and let them blow off steam
  • Okay Buffy's claim that Giles sent away the one person watching her back is out of line, but she's not wrong to suspect Giles's motives. As Spike points out next episode, he's the only one who wouldn't have fallen in step with the mutiny, even if that wasn't what Giles was thinking when he sent Spike away - it's certainly something they took advantage of.
  • oops the cops found Fugitive Faith
  • oops the cops are Hellmouth-possessed
  • oops
  • see? the Potentials have some fighting chops! look at them kicking the Hellmouth cops' asses
  • whoops Buffy's in mom mode now. She doesn't have all the facts, but she sees the messy conclusion.
  • I agree, Andrew. Curly fries are delicious.
  • "Tell anyone we had this conversation, I'll bite you." // "Right."
  • oh man. Xander's come home
  • well, "home." he lives in an apartment. this is the Summers house
  • Andrew is terrible at being Bad Cop. but I'm telling myself it's him trying to be Anya
  • I do like that Buffy saw through Caleb's attempted sleight of hand with the Look At The Seal Not At The Vineyard scheme
  • I understand the Potentials having doubts, I understand Giles resisting Buffy. I'm not cool with the core Scoobies turning on her. They should fucking know better.
  • UGH. Fuck this from Anya. "You really do think you're better than we are. But we don't know. We don't know if you're actually better. I mean, you came into the world with certain advantages, sure. I mean, that's the legacy. But you didn't earn it. You didn't work for it. You never had anybody come up to you and say you deserve these things more than anyone else. They were just handed to you. So that doesn't make you better than us. It makes you luckier than us." ARE YOU KIDDING ME. STOP TREATING CERTAIN YOUNG DEATH LIKE A GIFT. STOP TREATING DYING TWICE AND COMING BACK AS BEING LUCKIER THAN EVERYONE ELSE. STOP TREATING THIS KIND OF LEADERSHIP AS ANYTHING BUT A BURDEN. Buffy never asked for this, but she has earned their trust FOR SEVEN FUCKING YEARS. Also - for the record - stop acting like Buffy sat on her ass with her special Slayer privileges, instead of training hard every day, going out patrolling while balancing schoolwork and eventually real work, making plans and keeping everyone safe. One - ONE - botched mission, and suddenly the confidence in her qualifications immediately vanishes.
  • I wish Buffy were making these arguments, rather than lashing out though. It's not helping her case.
  • And then Dawn delivers the death blow.
  • Just. Fuck this. FUCK THIS.
  • And see? Buffy's still our goddamn hero. What does she say when Faith follows her out? "Don't be afraid to lead them. Whether you wanted it or not, their lives are yours. It's only gonna get harder. Protect them. But lead them." She's not doing recriminations. She knows the mission is what matters, and that the world still matters, and even if they've rejected her, their lives must be protected.
  • No one in that house deserves Buffy.

Favorite Lines:
Daniel: "Trade you for a pack of cigarettes and soap." -Faith 
Zelda: "Tell anyone we had this conversation, I'll bite you." - Spike

Arc/Continuity Stuff:

  • Recurring: Clem, SMG's laryngitis, Giles, Andrew, Potentials (Rona, Amanda, Kennedy, Chao-Ahn, et al), Faith, Caleb, The Bronze, The First (as Buffy), Spike's love for the Onion Blossom, Robin Wood
  • Shoutout to A"ll the Way" and Xander's pirate costume

Anya's Hair - blonde, side part, tidy ponytail, or straight down
Dead Humans - 0
Dead Undeads - 0
Dead Flashbacks - 0
Dead Potentials - 0
Giles Unconscious - 0
Giles Cleans His Glasses - 0
Buffy Breaks a Door - 0
Caleb Breaks a Glass Window with a Buffy - 1
Evil Reveal - 0
Unevil Reveal - 0
Shenanigans Called - 0
Apocalypse Called - 0