PLEASE NOTE: THIS IS A SPOILER-RICH ZONE. If your diet requires you to dine on television spoiler-free ... good luck with that.


Tuesday, April 30, 2019

Big Dumb Blond

Episode 3.12: There's Got to Be a Morning After Pill. Original Airdate 2.06.07

"After learning Logan had slept with Madison, the girl Veronica holds responsible for her rape, Veronica tries to deal with it, even if that means NO SLEEP [calm down, imdb]. Meanwhile, Tim Foyle's girlfriend asks Veronica for help to find who gave her a pill that aborted her fetus. Also, Veronica asks Weevil for a favor--one that might just take him back to his old days."

Zelda's Thoughts:

  • V wakes up being cuddled by Logan. So on the plus, V didn't immediately dump Logan over the Madison thing? Unless this is a dream? Is it a dream? Do you smell bacon?
  • There’s snow in SoCal, so yes, dream.
  • Welp, she hasn’t confronted him about it, because he’s still in cute flirty banter mode on their phone call, and she's playing along with an unsmiling face.
  • I guess Bonnie Capistrano is part of the plot now, and not just a public scene for Tim Foyle to throw the night they catch Mercer/the night the Dean is killed
  • I genuinely don't remember who killed the Dean, so I'm just trying to remember what are actual clues or red herrings.
  • "Excuse me for asking, but why Tim? "   fair question, V
  • "Don't let Tim know I hired you. "   I wonder how long that cat will stay in the bag.
  • "What do you want me to do? What can I do?" // "Make it not true? Get it out of my head and never let me think about it again?  Cuz unless you can do that, this is something I'm never getting past." So … RIP LoVe … for now
  • Backup! The rare beautiful pupper cameo.

  • Ah right, Bonnie's dad has a TV preacher papa.
  • Keith: "Your lack of opinion concerns me." At least this time, unlike her last Logan breakup, she admits she isn't okay.
  • And in investigating Tim Foyle for Bonnie’s case, she discovers Tim's investigating the Dean's murder
  • I have … trouble believing Dick ever had any emotional attachment to Madison (or she to him). Or any sense of what you do or don't do to a friend, considering his general shitteous behavior.
  • Remember when V had two best friends named Mac and Wallace? Yeah, me neither.
  • But hey! Weevil exists! "You sought me out. That can only mean one thing: you need a favor."
  • Wow V is once again commissioning crime. With this chasing her attempted blackmail of a judge, I just … stop V.
  • Wow some shit photographed V leaving the women's clinic and sent it to her dad wow wow wow. (although ... howwww? did they know who she was and whom to send the photo to? I could see maybe knowing who the Mars fam is, but if this is just standard tattle-tailing, how are they tracking down everyone's identity? naw, you know what, shenanigans. that's right, I said it.
  • But….that means there’s someone photographing everyone else leaving the clinic. A CLUE A CLUE
  • Whoops they got caught because there's a connection between Ted’s church and these leaflet/photo senders.
  • See, Dick saying "The rebound starts with me? Niiiiice" and sure he could argue he's doing harmless Dick style flirting, but this is the thing he got mad at Logan over, so like
  • Gulp someone broke into the O'Dell house, and since Keith exposited earlier that he's a ten min walk away, Mindy calls him instead of the cops. "You're closer and you're competent."
  • Oh right her ex.
  • And while we're here, let's hunt for car clues!
  • All this fuss about the Volvo, and all I can just think of frikkin vampire Edward and his swift swift Volvo.
Lemmie take care of that for you - Buffy

  • Time for Logan to leave a drunken heartbroken voicemail. "Honestly it's encouraging that someone still has such high expectations of me. Veronica, I would give anything if I could take back that night in Aspen. I'm sorry it causes you so much pain, I'm sorry it happened." And she won't hear the sincere part because he started off so hostile and drunkypants.
  • Oh right. The roommate gave Bonnie the miscarriage drugs.
  • And Bonnie's dad, with his message of forgiveness, makes V think twice about having Madison's new car crushed.

Daniel's Thoughts:

  • Veronica’s all happy waking up with Logan who is still living in a hotel for some reason.  I mean it’s gotta be costing him a lot.  He should definitely buy a place. I mean, he is 18, 19 with no parents living off his trust fund - so I guess, staying in a hotel it is.
  • Oh, but alas it’s a dream.  We know this because it can’t be snowing in California.
Winter is coming, Veronica

  • But V can’t stop thinking about Madison.  And that sucks.
  • Mystery of the week: Tim the TA’s girlfriend Bonnie was pregnant and was slipped the morning after pill.  Too bad she’s under 175 pounds.
Shrill, on Hulu

  • So the dad could be Tim or Dick. Great choices, Bonnie.
  • Oh crap, I forgot Logan didn’t know Veronica knew about Madison.
  • Poor Veronica – Normally I think she's goes a little overboard about Logan, but she makes really good points here.  Sure they were broken up but if there was ever even a singular thought by Logan that they would ever get back together, he would never have slept with the girl who roofied and slut-shamed Veronica.
  • Back-up!  And Oscar winner Jamie Ray Newman!
  • “You do your hair like that to cover up the three 6’s on your scalp, right?”
  • Wow, Dick is actually hurt by the reveal of Madison and Logan sleeping together.  He has a feeling!  I'm aware this feeling is more about Logan than Madison.  Straight guys are so gay for each other.
  • Bonnie’s a preacher’s daughter which is why she’s stereo-typically...err...sexually free?
  • I love when Veronica ‘acts’.  She’s putting on this 'hysterical girl' thing which totally gets the janitor to help her break into Tim’s office.
  • So Logan & Veronica broke up – we should really have had a stat on this or at least a tally?
  • Oh no.  Veronica’s stalking Madison now.
  • Veronica reminds us that Madison and Mac have the same birthday since…they were switched at birth.  I feel like Mac should be in this episode, but alas, she is not.
  • So Veronica doesn’t learn much from Tim about Bonnie’s mystery – but she learns that Tim is investigating the Dean’s death and has a new earwitness.
  • I’m not sure what Veronica expected to gain from interviewing Bonnie’s preacher father.  He seems genuinely distraught that she lost her baby  and this seems to clear him but he’s a professional liar, so.
  • I guess this is before the morning after pill was sold in pharmacies.
  • Veronica’s doing two mysteries at once!  When does she have time for homework!  Getting those straight As!  Or sleep!
  • Weevil seems to be doing well.  And yet Veronica is trying to get him to do a crime.  Geez, Veronica.
  • This professor thanks Weevil for whatever he was doing in that classroom and he’s kinda unnecessarily snarky towards her, which she doesn’t even notice.  I have a weird feeling it was just a bad line reading.
  • Wow and there’s someone taking pictures of women going to the clinic and sending it to their parents?  That is fucking messed up.
  • Richard Greico’s back.  He’s stalking his ex-wife because she stopped payment on his car.  I don’t really remember much of this except that RG guest starred one time before and he’s kind of a sleaze.
  • Now Logan’s all sad and wasted and drunk dialing Veronica.  He’s one step away from Less than Zero.
  • Veronica’s just now checking her voicemail?  I guess we’re not yet into obsessive phone culture yet
  • So it was Bonnie’s BFF/roommate who gave her the pill.  That’s fucked up. 
  • “Go to hell,” Bonnie says – and coming from a preacher’s daughter, you know.
Favorite Lines:
Zelda: "You sought me out. That can only mean one thing: you need a favor." - Weevil, giving us some high school nostalgia
Daniel: "You do your hair like that to cover up the three sixes on your scalp, right?" - Veronica

Neptune Roll Call:  Logan, Dick, Weevil (Absent: Wallace, Parker, Piz, Mac, Sheriff Don Lamb)
Recurring: Tim Foyle, Mindy O'Dell, Bonnie Capistrano, Steve Botando, Madison Sinclair
Veronica's Alias: Tim Foyle's Distraught Adopted Sister, Knocked Up Hester, Nancy the assistant to Carson Drew
Keith's Alias: Carson Drew


Dead Humans - 0
Backup Sighting - 1
Veronica Breaks In - 1
Veronica Tases Someone - 0
Mac Hacks - 0
Who's Your Daddy? - 0
Wallace Does Veronica a Favor - 0
Veronica Wants a Pony - 0
Logan Punches Someone - 0
Dick's Single Entendres - 1 "I've got things to do. Redheaded things."
Shenanigans Called - 1
VERONICA WAS WRONG – 1 (Tim didn't drug Bonnie; Phyllis did) 

Tuesday, April 23, 2019

Amuse Me, Dammit! Amuse Me Now!

Episode 3.11: Poughkeepsie, Tramps and Thieves. Original Airdate 1.30.07

"Veronica helps a friend to find the girl he thinks is the one, which he had but lost. But finding her only leads to trouble."

Daniel's Thoughts:

  • So anyone who’s keeping track: Veronica and Logan are on again – and they are flirting over fries, as you do
  • Weevil’s here, weighing in on what happened to the Dean – he thinks the Dean was a good guy.
  • Meanwhile, Keith is getting in on the game as well, soliciting records from sheriff douche who thinks there’s no crime.
  • And Veronica has a new mystery of the week:  It takes forever to explain but in a nutshell, Max (who we’ve seen before I guess) – met someone at comic con who is getting married and he needs to find her.
  • Case solved before the first commercial – Max’s friends hired a prostitute – and that’s the girl.  But Max still wants to find the girl  - he still thinks this all was real.  And…this is kind of uninteresting.  Can we get back to the arc again?
  • Max’s douchey friends (one of which looks like Piz) [Why is a recurring problem on this show that all the boys look indistinct/like each other? - Z] are surprised that dude didn’t have sex with the prostitute.
Definitely not Piz.

  • Nope, we’re still on this story line.
  • And now Veronica is searching for hookers online, refers to them all as fatherless…because that’s the only way someone can become an escort.  Geez, Veronica.
  • Finally she comes home and gets sassy with her dad, basically imitating an abusive husband.  Geez, Veronica.
  • Keith brings up O’Dell’s suicide – and Veronica posits Nish & the Lilith House as suspects…because they haven’t had enough. Geez, Veronica.
  • And then Veronica invites the two escorts over to Logan’s.  At least she’s using back-up. [Woof? – Back-up]  [Not you, buddy – D]
  • And then Veronica asks Logan if he’s ever been with a hooker.  Geez, Veronica.
  • Hooker #1 enters.  It’s not her.
  • “If we’re paying her anyway-”
  • But then Hooker #2 enters.  And it’s Chelsea.  And it appears she’s into Max. Because I’m betting a guy wrote this.  Huh, no.  It was written by Diane Ruggierio.
  • OMG, It’s Madison from HS and she’s just as bitchy.  What’s she doing there?  Veronica assumes it’s Dick that's still dating her but someone else looks guilty…  And by someone, I mean Logan.

  • Keith goes undercover as if he’s still with the sheriff’s department, uniform and all.  Veronica makes inappropriate stripper jokes about her dad.  And he goes over to the Lilith house.
  • Keith takes a hard approach to interviewing the members of the Lillith House.  But Nish calls him out on it.  She knows who he is.
  • Sheriff Douche’s face when he sees Keith in cop uniform. Ha!

  • Chelsea  (Now Wendy) outs a (judge) client to Veronica when she asks – and SO UNPROFESSIONAL CHELSEA!  She goes into a ton of detail, which obviously makes Max uncomfortable.
  • Anyway it all goes south when her pimp smacks around another girl to get her back? 
  • And I remember this bit.  Veronica realizes the bruise was a fake and wants to get back at her for Max.
  • Her plan is to extort a judge and no one is comfortable about this.  See Chelsea/Wendy?  This is why you don’t out your clients.
  • Veronica is still pressing Logan about the hooker issue.  And he doesn’t want to talk about it.  But she’s continuing to press.  Finally he answers.  But this was only a precursor to the real question she wants to ask:  About Mercer and how he was able to get away and back.  He answers this too.  But she can’t stop.  She wants to know if he was with anyone while they were broken up.  He admits he was, though he doesn’t say whom.  Luckily the questions stop here.
  • So it was Chelsea/Wendy’s pimp who set this whole thing up.  But she’s willing to let her go for 10,000 bucks.
  • How romantic?
  • Weevil comes by, recognizes Chelsea/Wendy/Fiona…  making another awkward situation even more awkward.
  • But…Max, of course can’t handle the fact that his girlfriend is an ex hooker/dancer/stripper.  And now he’s asking her too much information, things he really should leave alone because they don’t matter - the way Veronica was earlier to Logan.  Parallels!
  • Veronica decides to visit a lingerie store and of course bumps into Madison again.  And of course, it’s revealed that Logan was with Madison while they were broken up.  DUN.

Zelda's Thoughts:

  • Veronica and Logan are back to cute banter, which probably means they're gonna fight again.
  • He is there to point out that when people vandalize other people's offices, he's the one who has to clean it up. (he's also there to give the clue that the Dean's window was also egged, in addition to the Lampoon's)
  • Aw man, it sucks. Weevil and the Dean had actually been friends.
  • I guess Weevil wasn't here for plot so much as clue-dropping.
  • "I think you need a new hobby, Keith." // "Oh, I don't know. I find solving an investigation very relaxing. You should give it a try sometime."
  • Max who-helps-people-cheat is back. Yay?
  • Hey now Veronica, don't be ragging on Comic Con. That's where all the television shows go to meet their fans these days.
  • "Have a seat." // "No thanks, it's easier to be nosy if I can mill about."
  • V's face when he disses her Canada dorm room. *snort*
  • Wow, Max's roommate Brian is a douche.
  • "Can you still find her?"//  "Umm yes. But she'll still be a prostitute."
  • I could do without the slutshaming of sex workers commentary from V, but the search engine for escorts is pretty impressive.
  • oh man, V's so cute with "Amuse me, dammit, amuse me now!" but then K does his weird jazz hands song about the police report on the Dean's death. I have a vague memory that the gag reel features him doing like 12 different versions of this.

  • I am relieved that the show hasn't instantly forgotten Lilith House, though I'm tired of how hard the show leans into the Angry Feminist trope
  • Aw man, it's actually incredibly sweet how genuinely excited NotChelsea is when she sees Max. (oh, her name is Wendy)
  • And then Madison, of all our least favorite people, drops by Logan's hotel room why is he still in a hotel room.
  • Keith, whatchu doing in your old Sheriff's uniform? If he's about to impersonate an officer of the law, isn't that kinda illegal?
  • Aw V, don't make a thrusting motion at your dad, just don't.
  • Keith's doing a great job being bad cop questioning Fern and Claire (like legit scary), but then Nish shows up to bust his con.
  • Naw you know what, this was all worth it for Lamb to see Keith drive by in his Sheriff's uniform.
  • You know I've been watching the show too long when I don't trust the story that Wendy's leaving Max (even though he was trying to hide her from her pimp) to keep her fellow sex workers from getting beaten up (and taking Max's $1k with her). And the fact that V isn't suspicious also has me afeared (I genuinely don't remember)
  • Welp, V found the bruise makeup bag. So either my cynic instinct is strong or I do remember it on some level.
  • Aaaaand V indisputably blackmailed a judge for a thousand dollars. Um. How does she manage to become a lawyer later?
  • It's a tricky bait-and-switch, this intimate secret-sharing convo of V and Logan in bed. He confesses to hooking up with a horrible girl who means nothing to him; we assume he means the rando beach girl who gave him a blowjob, but anyone who remembers the future knows who he actually means (or anyone wondering why the hell Madison Sinclair suddenly reappeared on the show)
  • Sigh. And Max won't be able to get past Wendy's past, and she knows it. At least she left a real note and not a fake note this time.
  • And there's the other shoe: Logan and Madison hooked up over the holidays.
  • Does everyone else have the same terrible taste in their mouth that I do?

Favorite Lines:

Daniel: "And how when you see a plastic bag flying around, you think there's so much beauty in the world you can't take it?" - Veronica 

Zelda: "Amuse me, dammit! Amuse me now!" - Veronica


Neptune Roll Call:  Logan, Sheriff Don Lamb, Weevil (Absent: Wallace, Dick, Parker, Piz, Mac)
Recurring:  Max, Nish Sweeney, Fern Delgado, Claire Nordhouse, Deputy Jerry Sacks, Madison Sinclair
Keith's Alias: Sheriff
Veronica's Nicknames: The Man of La Mancha (Max)


Dead Humans - 0
Backup Sighting - 0
Veronica Breaks In - 0
Veronica Tases Someone - 0
Mac Hacks - 0
Who's Your Daddy? - 0
Wallace Does Veronica a Favor - 0
Veronica Wants a Pony - 0
Logan Punches Someone - 0
Dick's Single Entendres - 0
Shenanigans Called - 0

Monday, April 15, 2019

My Mollusk Shoes Are Cool

Episode 3.10: Show Me the Monkey. Original Airdate 1.23.07

"Mac convinces Veronica to go undercover with her as animal rights activists to rescue a kidnapped monkey as a way of forgetting her breakup with Logan. Meanwhile, Mindy O'Dell asks Keith to investigate her husband's suspicious suicide."

Zelda's Thoughts:

  • Oh damn, I didn’t remember they tried to frame the Dean’s death as a suicide.
  • And it was six weeks ago? Okay, good to know where we are in the timeline.
  • Wait, the student scientists' backup is a he? IS IT THE MARS DOG?
  • No, it’s a research monkey.
  • "Veronica." .. "Mac. *looks up* And the people coming to take me away."

  • “If there’s hilarity, I charge extra.”
  • An exchange only the Mars family could have. “How did you find me? My cell phone isn't on.” // “Maybe I’ll tell you some day”
  • New RA. Is she evil?

  • And then threw it over the balcony ledge
  • So now that the rape arc is over, are we going to see the Lilith House women ever again, or are they gone as a presence that V just kept running into no matter where she went? I feel like the deep character continuity bench that made the first two seasons so rich isn’t as strong this season (doesn’t help that Mac was AWOL for most of the first arc).
  • GASP Dean O’Dell’s murder ripped off Veronica’s Perfect Murder paper! I forget who did it, but I immediately thought of Tim Foyle’s dick move of stealing V’s work and framing her for plagiarism.
  • I’m not saying V is flirting with Piz to get him to help her on her current case but that head tilt and that pouty voice are 100% V flirting with Piz so yes that’s exactly what I’m saying she’s doing.
  • Aww the head of the PHAT group has such a crush on Mac and he’s cute too but she doesn’t seem to be picking up what he’s putting down. Scars from Beaver?
  • New NotEvilRA: What about this is Canada? //V: *points to magazine cutout of a moose, then plays BNL’s One Week.* 

  • *hugs Mac* cute boy leans in for the kiss and she flinches away.
  • Little muffin
  • Aww Mac’s got her groove back (is that what the kids call it?)
  • I didn’t remember this happened actually. I guess we still have time to get to the Piz/V and Logan/Parker pairings?
  • Whoops Keith tries to get Prof Hank to open up, but he knows exactly who Keith is. Oh well.
  • Double Whoops, Piz thought after his cute/sweet late night convo with V, he might have an in there … but actually that conversation made her realize how much she missed Logan. Well this is awkward. 

Daniel's Thoughts:

  • Veronica and Keith do a whole a bit about where the word manila comes from – worthy of Jerry Seinfeld
  • So here’s Mrs. O’Dell.  Keith exposits that it’s six weeks later.  Apparently the Sheriff’s department ruled it a suicide.
  • Ok, we’re in a monkey lab, I guess?  Monkey is missing, as is years of research.
  • Lucky Mac is there to suggest Veronica Mars!
  • PHAT kids, is an animal rights group that the Veronica Mars show made up.  They are suspect #1 for the monkey nappers. 
  • Love that Veronica/Keith banter.
  • Mac & Veronica want a third (Charlie's) Angel – that should clearly be Parker.
  • Bronson is the cutie college PHAT leader.  And Mac might have a crush.
  • Dick takes a dick pic with a Polaroid and then throws it off the balcony and that’s kinda awesome but also truly horrifying. Like, he just doesn't care who gets it.
  • Dick is giving Logan a pep talk the only way he knows how and there’s weird cartoon noises in the background.
  • So the good scotch comes back from the last episode – as a clue as to why the dean didn’t kill himself.
  • What a surprise, Veronica is tied into the dean’s murder.  Her “HOW TO GET AWAY WITH MURDER” paper is exactly the way someone made it look like a suicide.

  • Hey Parker’s the third angel after all!  She helps Veronica and Mac trick some guy into wearing a Meat is Murder shirt.
"Say sucker!"

  • Veronica and Mac put in minimal effort – but jokes on them because Canada’s got some great beers.
  • SHENANIGANS.  A drink around the world party in a…freshman dorm?
  • It’s not that Mac’s being all shy – it’s….her last boyfriend Killed Himself After Confessing To Multiple Murders Because His Baseball Coach Molested Him.  So…there are issues there.
  • There’s a side story about Logan, Dick & Chip getting out there and getting laid, I guess.  I don’t care.
  • Yay, Mac has a boyfriend!
  • And Piz is flirting with Veronica…which…ok.  Poor Piz, though.
  • And Veronica shows up at Logan’s hotel room and it seems like he was waiting for her. They make out, so.
  • Not much has been done with Dean O’Dell’s murder this episode so we end with Keith finding Landry at a bar.  Keith tries to set him up as though Landry is just going to confess to murder to a complete stranger.  It’s a weird move that doesn’t work – not just because someone wouldn’t confess to murder to a complete stranger in a bar but because…he knows who Keith is?  Okay.
  • And Piz realizes Logan and Veronica are back together.  Poor Piz.

[Context: Our friend Sophia’s watching with us and she’s basically a computer]
Sophia: You didn’t have a backup?
Mac: Do you have a backup?

Favorite Lines:
Zelda: "If there's hilarity, I charge extra." - Veronica
Daniel: "Ok everybody, Canada is closing. Border control issues." - Veronica (yikes)

Neptune Roll Call: Logan, Dick, Parker, Piz, Mac, Weevil (Absent: Wallace, Sheriff Don Lamb)
First Appearance: Bronson Pope
Recurring: Professor Hank Landry, Chip Diller, Mindy O'Dell, Deputy Jerry Sacks
Veronica's Alias: Zeta Theta Beta fan of Ed Argent

Dead Humans - 0
Backup Sighting - 0
Veronica Breaks In - 0
Veronica Tases Someone - 0
Mac Hacks - 1
Who's Your Daddy? - 0
Wallace Does Veronica a Favor - 0
Veronica Wants a Pony - 0
Logan Punches Someone - 0
Dick's Single Entendres - 0
Shenanigans Called - 1

Tuesday, April 9, 2019

Cagney and Pastey

Episode 3.9: Spit & Eggs. Original Airdate 11.28.06

"Dean O'Dell reinstates the Greek system on campus and, determined to solve the campus rape case, Veronica, along with Mac, Wallace and Piz, attends a party armed with coasters designed to test for drugs in the drinks of her peers. Meanwhile, Dean O'Dell hires Keith to investigate whether or not his wife is cheating on him."

Daniel's Thoughts:

  • Neptune University Party.  Hey, it’s Piz and Mac!  I feel like we haven’t seen them in forever.  They’re looking for Veronica.
  • But oh shit, Veronica is running like she’s in a horror movie.  She’s got a bloody nose and a gash on her forehead.
  • And….they’re doing that 2 days earlier thing.
  • So the feminist club is happy.  It looked like Selma Rose made good on her promise and voted against the Greek system.
  • Dick, in true fashion, moons them.
  • Logan’s breaking up with Veronica…again.  So that’s fun.  This back and forth is getting a bit old as well.  He’s doing it because he can’t handle her not needing him…..which people blamed Riley for re: Buffy. 
  • OSCAR WINNER Jamie Ray Newman is back as the dean’s hot wife.

  • Only Oscar winners can have such shiny hair.

  • Some guy is smoking a cigar and gross.  This guy is not too happy about the frat situation.  He might be pulling his funding.
  • Piz, Wallace, Mac, Weevil.  Everyone’s on this episode!
  • Dude, Keith.  He does a Charlie Chan impression and it’s super racist….and yeah, things like this did not age well for this show.
  • Veronica acts tough, but then she cries in the shower.  Awwww.
  • The celebration is over – The dean allowed himself to be bullied into getting the Greek system reinstated.
  • The feminists of Lilith house are not happy – they egg the dean’s car.  Good.
  • Veronica has bangs now.
Oh, Veronica, no.

  • Hey, it’s Parker!  Everyone’s here!
  • The ‘Plan a Perfect Murder’ papers are still happening.  Veronica gets an A of course.
  • “Dick, Chip Diller and what’s his face?” – SEE EVEN VERONICA DOESN’T KNOW
  • So Veronica was dumped for not letting Logan help her.  And now she’s enlisting everyone’s help.
  • We’re back at the party; I guess it’s two days later.
  • Mac’s shirt: Ask me about my STD.  What?  Like, is that supposed to ward off guys, I guess?

  • Dean O’Dell is drunk af, upset about his wife cheating….  He finds a gun in his drawer.  Shit. CHEKHOV RULE. [Eh, it's like almost the third act already - Chekhov]
  • Veronica sees Logan – and Mercer Hayes (thanks to Veronica identifying him by name, I know his name too.)
  • Logan goes to find the date rape drugged girl and insists Veronica stays at the party.  Veronica actually stays.  That’s the mistake.
  • Aaaand Mercer is revealed as “the” rapist.  I put the in quotes as if there aren’t more than one rapist at a college.  Though I guess he’s the serial rapist.  Fine.
  • And he gives this weird villain’s monologue….explaining why he does the things he an unconscious girl.  And of course Veronica was there the whole time.  She tases him but he gets the upper hand.  Not before she does some good damage though.  She scratches his face and stabs him with a ceramic unicorn horn. And then we’re back to the horror movie footage we saw in the beginning.
  • And there’s something suspicious about Moe the RA.  He fake called the police and drugged Veronica, locking her in his room.
  • How many freaking times has Veronica been drugged?  This shoulda been one of our stats.
  • She tries to call daddy mars but he’s not available.
  • She does find a hammer and lots of….hair.
  • So gross.
  • So it seems like Moe was the one supplying the GHB.
  • Veronica blows a whistle – And Parker responds!  Parker is useful for something!
  • So even before mystery arc #1 ends, mystery arc #2 begins.  Someone came into Dean O’Dell’s office. “What are you doing here?” NEVER SAY THIS TO SOMEONE OFF CAMERA OR YOU WILL BE MURDERED.
  • So the frat has been cleared….yay? 
  • And Weevil finds Dean O’Dell…shot through the head. [BUT WHO'S TO BLAME! THEY GIVE NOIR A GOOD NAME ... I'll show myself out - Z]  Let mystery arc #2 begin

Zelda's Thoughts:

  • The show remembered that Piz and Mac are officially regulars!
  • Oh shit, V’s bloody, terrified, and running away. I guess that means it’s time for an episode rewind!
  • Also thank god, that means the rape arc is almost done.
  • Lilith House got the frats dismantled.
  • Dick’s still a dick.
  • And Logan is breaking up with V. “I don’t think I quite measure up to the person you want me to be, and I just can't take feeling like a disappointment anymore ... I think we have a choice. I think we can take a tough but survivable amount of pain now, or stay together and deal with unbearable pain later. So I vote for the pain now. But I’m always here, if you need anything … but you never need anything.” I’m actually struck in this moment by how young and vulnerable he seems. He'll grow so much by the time we get the film.
  • All signs point to Arc One of Season Three ending.
  • Aww, Dean O’Dell and Weevil are such cute buddies.
  • Oh right, Mrs. O’Dell is cheating on the Dean with Prof Hank Landry [Professor Hanky Panky- D]
  • Random creepo with a cigar.
  • Aw Mac and Wallace trying to help V, who is *refusing* to let them take care of her. “I’m not looking for a pity party.” // “That’s good, I always get stuck blowing up the pity balloons.”
  • And she won’t let her dad comfort her either. But once she’s alone in the shower, she lets herself cry.
  • And welp, Dean O’Dell got himself bullied into reinstating the Frats.
  • And Dick and the dicks celebrate.
  • Oh look, Parker exists too. Hi Parker. Your “wig” looks way better than V’s current bangs situation.
  • Prof Hank Landry listing “perfect murder” papers lists “the local sheriff bit the dust,” and V looks vaguely shifty.

  • V’s voiceover. “What’s this … Dick, Chip Diller … what’s his face?” V feels our pain with all these interchangeable frat boys.
  • This is Mac’s first ep in TWELVE YEARS she deserves better.
  • Wow, V hands over fake IDs as gifts to her friends RIGHT IN FRONT OF THE DESK WHERE THEY HAVE TO SHOW ID.
  • Some kinda music cameo here I assume, based on the camera framing. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
  • Aw is the first time we see Piz’s funky dance moves? He’s reminding me why I don’t always hate him.

  • Oh right, Dean O’Dell’s gonna die soon, isn’t he. That’s the next arc? That’s why we have him all drunk and emotional about his wife’s affair.
  • Oh look it’s Mercer. Hi Mercer. Die Mercer. 
  • Also Logan. And true to his word, he’s helping when she needs help.
  • And V realizes that Mercer’s radio show is a pre-record. He’s no longer alibied out.
  • But when he shows up at his prospective victim’s dorm room, V is lying in wait for him.
  • Ugh he’s the worst. “Groan if you disagree.”
  • Shit, though, even when she has the drop on him, she doesn’t have the upper hand physically.
  • Until she stabs him with a unicorn horn, of course, and he falls back and hits his head. [Nice - Harmony Kendall]
  • Oh right, I totally forgot Moe the RA was Mercer’s partner in crime. I remembered he had a partner, but forgot who it was.
  • AND FUCK YOU MOE. He roofied the mug of soothing tea he gave her, when she thought she was finally safe.
  • Man, if you can’t trust your creepy RAs, who can you trust?
  • So … Moe keeps the hair as trophies? The fuck. What’s in this for him? Unless they’re both raping the women, and not just Mercer?
  • Well he did just refer to Mercer as “sir” so maybe there’s some dom/sub stuff going on? That photo of him with Mercer showed them in the prisoner/guard shirts that we saw Wallace and Logan in earlier this season.
  • And Parker hears the rape whistle, when no one else does, and screams “Rape” until people come running. God bless Parker.
  • Aw Dean O’Dell, don’t you know “what are you doing here?” are famous last words?
  • And the Pi Sigs had nothing to do with the rapes at all. A big fat toxic red herring.
  • And Logan’s protective edge is in full display, trashing a cop car so he gets dropped into holding with Mercer and Moe, who not only fooled him and used him to get out, but tried to rape Veronica.
  • RIP Dean O’Dell.


Dean O'Dell: What are you doing here?
Z: Aw, Dean O'Dell, don't you know those are famous last words?
D: Especially if the camera can’t see who you're talking to!

Favorite Lines:

Daniel:  "When I look at the two of you, all I see are a couple of petri dishes” -  Veronica
Zelda: "I think we have a choice. I think we can take a tough but survivable amount of pain now, or stay together and deal with unbearable pain later." - Logan


Neptune Roll Call: Logan, Wallace, Dick, Parker, Piz, Mac, Weevil (Absent: Sheriff Don Lamb)
First Appearance: Mel Stoltz, Cora
Recurring:  Mercer Hayes, Chip Diller, Moe Flater, Tim Foyle, Professor Hank Landry, Dean Cyrus O'Dell, Mindy O'Dell, Nish Sweeney, Claire Nordhouse, Drew, Deputy Jerry Sacks, Fern Delgado, Bonnie Capistrano
Future Famous Person: Jamie Chung


Dead Humans -1
Backup Sighting - 0
Veronica Breaks In - 1
Veronica Tases Someone - 1
Mac Hacks - 0
Who's Your Daddy? - 0
Wallace Does Veronica a Favor - 0
Veronica Wants a Pony - 0
Logan Punches Someone – (though it’s implied he kicks Mercer’s ass)
Dick's Single Entendres - 0
Shenanigans Called - 0