PLEASE NOTE: THIS IS A SPOILER-RICH ZONE. If your diet requires you to dine on television spoiler-free ... good luck with that.


Tuesday, April 9, 2019

Cagney and Pastey

Episode 3.9: Spit & Eggs. Original Airdate 11.28.06

"Dean O'Dell reinstates the Greek system on campus and, determined to solve the campus rape case, Veronica, along with Mac, Wallace and Piz, attends a party armed with coasters designed to test for drugs in the drinks of her peers. Meanwhile, Dean O'Dell hires Keith to investigate whether or not his wife is cheating on him."

Daniel's Thoughts:

  • Neptune University Party.  Hey, it’s Piz and Mac!  I feel like we haven’t seen them in forever.  They’re looking for Veronica.
  • But oh shit, Veronica is running like she’s in a horror movie.  She’s got a bloody nose and a gash on her forehead.
  • And….they’re doing that 2 days earlier thing.
  • So the feminist club is happy.  It looked like Selma Rose made good on her promise and voted against the Greek system.
  • Dick, in true fashion, moons them.
  • Logan’s breaking up with Veronica…again.  So that’s fun.  This back and forth is getting a bit old as well.  He’s doing it because he can’t handle her not needing him…..which people blamed Riley for re: Buffy. 
  • OSCAR WINNER Jamie Ray Newman is back as the dean’s hot wife.

  • Only Oscar winners can have such shiny hair.

  • Some guy is smoking a cigar and gross.  This guy is not too happy about the frat situation.  He might be pulling his funding.
  • Piz, Wallace, Mac, Weevil.  Everyone’s on this episode!
  • Dude, Keith.  He does a Charlie Chan impression and it’s super racist….and yeah, things like this did not age well for this show.
  • Veronica acts tough, but then she cries in the shower.  Awwww.
  • The celebration is over – The dean allowed himself to be bullied into getting the Greek system reinstated.
  • The feminists of Lilith house are not happy – they egg the dean’s car.  Good.
  • Veronica has bangs now.
Oh, Veronica, no.

  • Hey, it’s Parker!  Everyone’s here!
  • The ‘Plan a Perfect Murder’ papers are still happening.  Veronica gets an A of course.
  • “Dick, Chip Diller and what’s his face?” – SEE EVEN VERONICA DOESN’T KNOW
  • So Veronica was dumped for not letting Logan help her.  And now she’s enlisting everyone’s help.
  • We’re back at the party; I guess it’s two days later.
  • Mac’s shirt: Ask me about my STD.  What?  Like, is that supposed to ward off guys, I guess?

  • Dean O’Dell is drunk af, upset about his wife cheating….  He finds a gun in his drawer.  Shit. CHEKHOV RULE. [Eh, it's like almost the third act already - Chekhov]
  • Veronica sees Logan – and Mercer Hayes (thanks to Veronica identifying him by name, I know his name too.)
  • Logan goes to find the date rape drugged girl and insists Veronica stays at the party.  Veronica actually stays.  That’s the mistake.
  • Aaaand Mercer is revealed as “the” rapist.  I put the in quotes as if there aren’t more than one rapist at a college.  Though I guess he’s the serial rapist.  Fine.
  • And he gives this weird villain’s monologue….explaining why he does the things he an unconscious girl.  And of course Veronica was there the whole time.  She tases him but he gets the upper hand.  Not before she does some good damage though.  She scratches his face and stabs him with a ceramic unicorn horn. And then we’re back to the horror movie footage we saw in the beginning.
  • And there’s something suspicious about Moe the RA.  He fake called the police and drugged Veronica, locking her in his room.
  • How many freaking times has Veronica been drugged?  This shoulda been one of our stats.
  • She tries to call daddy mars but he’s not available.
  • She does find a hammer and lots of….hair.
  • So gross.
  • So it seems like Moe was the one supplying the GHB.
  • Veronica blows a whistle – And Parker responds!  Parker is useful for something!
  • So even before mystery arc #1 ends, mystery arc #2 begins.  Someone came into Dean O’Dell’s office. “What are you doing here?” NEVER SAY THIS TO SOMEONE OFF CAMERA OR YOU WILL BE MURDERED.
  • So the frat has been cleared….yay? 
  • And Weevil finds Dean O’Dell…shot through the head. [BUT WHO'S TO BLAME! THEY GIVE NOIR A GOOD NAME ... I'll show myself out - Z]  Let mystery arc #2 begin

Zelda's Thoughts:

  • The show remembered that Piz and Mac are officially regulars!
  • Oh shit, V’s bloody, terrified, and running away. I guess that means it’s time for an episode rewind!
  • Also thank god, that means the rape arc is almost done.
  • Lilith House got the frats dismantled.
  • Dick’s still a dick.
  • And Logan is breaking up with V. “I don’t think I quite measure up to the person you want me to be, and I just can't take feeling like a disappointment anymore ... I think we have a choice. I think we can take a tough but survivable amount of pain now, or stay together and deal with unbearable pain later. So I vote for the pain now. But I’m always here, if you need anything … but you never need anything.” I’m actually struck in this moment by how young and vulnerable he seems. He'll grow so much by the time we get the film.
  • All signs point to Arc One of Season Three ending.
  • Aww, Dean O’Dell and Weevil are such cute buddies.
  • Oh right, Mrs. O’Dell is cheating on the Dean with Prof Hank Landry [Professor Hanky Panky- D]
  • Random creepo with a cigar.
  • Aw Mac and Wallace trying to help V, who is *refusing* to let them take care of her. “I’m not looking for a pity party.” // “That’s good, I always get stuck blowing up the pity balloons.”
  • And she won’t let her dad comfort her either. But once she’s alone in the shower, she lets herself cry.
  • And welp, Dean O’Dell got himself bullied into reinstating the Frats.
  • And Dick and the dicks celebrate.
  • Oh look, Parker exists too. Hi Parker. Your “wig” looks way better than V’s current bangs situation.
  • Prof Hank Landry listing “perfect murder” papers lists “the local sheriff bit the dust,” and V looks vaguely shifty.

  • V’s voiceover. “What’s this … Dick, Chip Diller … what’s his face?” V feels our pain with all these interchangeable frat boys.
  • This is Mac’s first ep in TWELVE YEARS she deserves better.
  • Wow, V hands over fake IDs as gifts to her friends RIGHT IN FRONT OF THE DESK WHERE THEY HAVE TO SHOW ID.
  • Some kinda music cameo here I assume, based on the camera framing. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
  • Aw is the first time we see Piz’s funky dance moves? He’s reminding me why I don’t always hate him.

  • Oh right, Dean O’Dell’s gonna die soon, isn’t he. That’s the next arc? That’s why we have him all drunk and emotional about his wife’s affair.
  • Oh look it’s Mercer. Hi Mercer. Die Mercer. 
  • Also Logan. And true to his word, he’s helping when she needs help.
  • And V realizes that Mercer’s radio show is a pre-record. He’s no longer alibied out.
  • But when he shows up at his prospective victim’s dorm room, V is lying in wait for him.
  • Ugh he’s the worst. “Groan if you disagree.”
  • Shit, though, even when she has the drop on him, she doesn’t have the upper hand physically.
  • Until she stabs him with a unicorn horn, of course, and he falls back and hits his head. [Nice - Harmony Kendall]
  • Oh right, I totally forgot Moe the RA was Mercer’s partner in crime. I remembered he had a partner, but forgot who it was.
  • AND FUCK YOU MOE. He roofied the mug of soothing tea he gave her, when she thought she was finally safe.
  • Man, if you can’t trust your creepy RAs, who can you trust?
  • So … Moe keeps the hair as trophies? The fuck. What’s in this for him? Unless they’re both raping the women, and not just Mercer?
  • Well he did just refer to Mercer as “sir” so maybe there’s some dom/sub stuff going on? That photo of him with Mercer showed them in the prisoner/guard shirts that we saw Wallace and Logan in earlier this season.
  • And Parker hears the rape whistle, when no one else does, and screams “Rape” until people come running. God bless Parker.
  • Aw Dean O’Dell, don’t you know “what are you doing here?” are famous last words?
  • And the Pi Sigs had nothing to do with the rapes at all. A big fat toxic red herring.
  • And Logan’s protective edge is in full display, trashing a cop car so he gets dropped into holding with Mercer and Moe, who not only fooled him and used him to get out, but tried to rape Veronica.
  • RIP Dean O’Dell.


Dean O'Dell: What are you doing here?
Z: Aw, Dean O'Dell, don't you know those are famous last words?
D: Especially if the camera can’t see who you're talking to!

Favorite Lines:

Daniel:  "When I look at the two of you, all I see are a couple of petri dishes” -  Veronica
Zelda: "I think we have a choice. I think we can take a tough but survivable amount of pain now, or stay together and deal with unbearable pain later." - Logan


Neptune Roll Call: Logan, Wallace, Dick, Parker, Piz, Mac, Weevil (Absent: Sheriff Don Lamb)
First Appearance: Mel Stoltz, Cora
Recurring:  Mercer Hayes, Chip Diller, Moe Flater, Tim Foyle, Professor Hank Landry, Dean Cyrus O'Dell, Mindy O'Dell, Nish Sweeney, Claire Nordhouse, Drew, Deputy Jerry Sacks, Fern Delgado, Bonnie Capistrano
Future Famous Person: Jamie Chung


Dead Humans -1
Backup Sighting - 0
Veronica Breaks In - 1
Veronica Tases Someone - 1
Mac Hacks - 0
Who's Your Daddy? - 0
Wallace Does Veronica a Favor - 0
Veronica Wants a Pony - 0
Logan Punches Someone – (though it’s implied he kicks Mercer’s ass)
Dick's Single Entendres - 0
Shenanigans Called - 0

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