PLEASE NOTE: THIS IS A SPOILER-RICH ZONE. If your diet requires you to dine on television spoiler-free ... good luck with that.


Wednesday, January 28, 2015

Kick the Spike

Episode 5.13: Blood Ties. Original Airdate 2.6.01

"When Dawn learns her true identity, she runs away - only to encounter Glory."

Daniel's Thoughts:

  • Hey! A Buffy birthday!
  • “The bigger they are…” “The faster they stomp you into nothing.”
  • Oh, the reveal.  I’m glad Buffy and Giles finally told the gang about Dawn.  It was the right time.
  • Ever notice that one of the scenes they show of Xander in the opening credits is of him peeing.
  • Oh, except they’re all acting weird.
  • So Joyce and Dawn are allowed out of the crypt now?  This was just a temporary stay? No more danger?
  • “You make a very pretty little girl!”
  • “Xander needs help with his thing!”
  • “I want the presents!”  You’ll have to wait for the 4th of July, Anya.
I wish it was mine!

  • “It’s a picture of when we visited San Diego that summer.” BECAUSE I WAS ALWAYS HERE.
  • Did Willow cut the cake without Buffy?
  • Look, Dawn’s annoying but she’s a smart girl.  She knows something is going on.
  • Teletubbies? Remember when that was a thing?
  • Shouldn't Willow’s protection spell be going off right about when Spike picks the lock?
  • Dawn’s face when she’s finding out and putting all the pieces together.
  • Wow, we’re still talking about Riley.
  • I love her reaction.  It’s heartbreaking.  I mean, imagine finding out you were blipped into existence less than six months ago.
  • The one time I’m on Spike’s side.  It wasn't his fault she found out.  Maybe she should have been told earlier.
  • I mean the amount of detail in this spell.  Holy crap. All those diaries that were just magically filled.
  • I hate the “overhearing the wrong thing" TV trope.
  • Dawn’s room is so weird. There’s a foyer!
Why is there a little room before you get to Dawn's room?!

  • Spike & Buffy are always together when they all split up.  It’s like Fred always choosing Daphne over Velma.
  • Is Buffy wearing a fur coat? In southern California?
  • Dawn is just dumb here.  Why would she just tell some random guy.  She has to know how dangerous it is.
  • Dawn seems to remember the Glory/Ben connection a lot longer than most people do.
  • I love that Glory always fights in an evening gown.
  • Willow & Tara throw glitter on Glory.  Man that’s the worst. She’ll be seeing that for weeks.  Good plan. Oh, the teleportation spell worked too.
  • I’m confused as to who or what Ben exactly is.  Is he a God too?  It seems he might just be a host? But for how long?

Zelda's Thoughts:

  • It's Happy Birthday Buffy!
  • Also YAY the Council's gone.
  • "I know way more about dimensions than Giles does. [Giles frowns] Well I do."
  • BTW we got confirmation in the comments on our last post that Nicky was indeed injured (a sprain) and that's why he's still in a cast from Olaf's attack.
  • Oh I see, now that we know Glory's a god, she's willing to say it herself? Coulda saved us a lot of time there, show.
  • Yep everyone's being weird with Dawn now that they know. But Anya wins. "You make a very pretty little girl!" "Xander needs help with his thing!"
  • Oh Dawn. No way is Glory prettier than Buffy.
  • "This is extremely suspenseful! I want the presents."
  • Oh Dawn. It's not that they don't want you to hear about Xander and Anya's escapades. It's that none of them want to hear about it. Stop bratting.
  • "I wasn't lurking. I was standing about. It's a whole different vibe."
  • "I'm breaking into the Magic Shop. To steal things." Foreshadowing!
  • So I guess the protective spell cast by Willow and Tara wasn't alerted by Spike? He really is neutered.
  • Spike is bored. "Hey! Troll hammer!" *thunk* I actually don't think I ever registered that moment before.
  • It's a pretty horrifying image, Dawn with the knife and the bleeding arm.

  • It's a problem, I know Dawn is in pain, but the "Get out Get Out GET OOOOOUT" makes me laugh.
  • "A round of Kick the Spike." Ah, memories, youth, nostalgia, all that.
  • "Blobs of energy don't need an education."
  • Oh look, my favorite trope of characters overhearing only part of a conversation and taking it the wrong way. No wait, I fucking hate this trope.
  • Dawn's breakdown in her room was pretty well done.
  • Spike's pep talk would be more effective if he didn't sound so resentful about it.
  • Shit man, that's also pretty horrifying. Dawn goes to the mental ward to see the people who see her for what she is.
  • "There've been a lot of nights I wish ... she didn't exist either." Gosh, Ben, what could you do to achieve this? there must be some thing you could dooooooooooo
  • Gasp Ben is Glory, Glory is Ben!
  • Nice of Ben to keep a dress for Glory in his locker. Wonder if any of the other interns have noticed.
  • So right now Dawn remembers that Ben is Glory, but we know that knowledge will fade away. That was not clear to me on my initial watch, and I was like "WHY ISN'T DAWN TELLING BUFFY THE WHOLE STORY."
  • Um. Shenanigans? Buffy takes Spike with her to hunt for Dawn but they don't try to use his enhanced vampire nostrils to track her?
  • I think Glory likes playing Kick the Spike.
  • Yay good job Willow and Tara! You transported Glory elsewheres.
  • "It doesn't matter where you came from, or how you got here. You are my sister. There's no way you could annoy me so much if you weren't."

Favorite Lines:

Daniel: "You make a very pretty little girl!" - Anya
Zelda: "It doesn't matter where you came from, or how you got here. You are my sister." - Buffy

Arc/Continuity Stuff:

  • First appearance: GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT
  • Recurring: Joyce, Tara, Knights of Byzantium, Glory and her minions, Olaf's Troll Hammer, Ben
  • Buffy's turning 20. So. Still not allowed to drink.
  • Glory's immortal, invulnerable, and insane, but being held in a human body is limiting her extended powers and also she's a brain sucker and is crazy.
  • All the Scoobies (including Dawn and Spike) know Dawn is the Key. So does Ben.
  • Also Ben is Glory.
  • Willow did a spell somewhat outside of her power level, and got a nosebleed for her trouble.


Anya's Hair - blonde, curly, shoulder-length
Dead Humans - 3
Dead Undeads - 0
Giles Unconscious - 0
Giles Cleans His Glasses - 0
Buffy Breaks a Door - 1
Evil Reveal - 0
Unevil Reveal - 0
Shenanigans Called - 1
Apocalypse Called - 0

Wednesday, January 21, 2015

Willow's a Demon?!

Episode 5.12: Checkpoint. Original Airdate 1.23.01

"The Watcher Council travels to Sunnydale to review Buffy's skills as a Slayer; meanwhile, Glory puts her search for the Key into high gear."

Zelda's Thoughts:

  • So this episode is good, but I'm mostly waiting for the epic smackdown at the end.
  • "Allo Buffy! Here's some stuff we know, pip pip!"
  • I wonder if Nicky Brendan actually had an arm injury. It feels pretty rare for the show to remember injuries that were a whole episode ago.
  • Oh look it's Quentin Travers. Fuck you, Quentin Travers!
  • Stop messing with Giles's shop! These guys suck so much.
  • "You all stand around and look somber. Good job." Giles snark is the best.
  • The Council is so awful. "We have information that could affect the battle against good and evil, and we don't trust Buffy, who actually puts her life on the line while we drink tea, so we're gonna be awful awful people and hold that info hostage rather than helping in the battle we've sworn ourselves to."
  • You know what, I kind of love that Buffy is paying enough attention in class that she's willing to debate whether or not he's a vampire.
  • "There was also near consensus about Columbus, you know, until someone asked the Vikings what they were up to in the 1400s, and they're like, 'discovering this America-shaped continent.'" Historical sass, what up.
  • And then her teacher is a douche. But it's all part of the motif of the episode of people trying to make Buffy feel small. 
  • Oh Spike. Buffy was working off some anger on that vamp and you took away the rush of the kill.
  • Also (why do I bother?) Parking lot! Do a shot!
  • Dear Spike, a lesson: telling Buffy it's her fault her relationships have ended badly? Really bad wooing technique. He just has ... terrible strategies. [Has everyone forgotten that I'm evil? ~Spike]
  • "Short, symmetrical, hair on top, Buffy something." I forgot the minions could be fun.
  • It's actually kind of a fun parallel - Glory's minions are asking Ben (who is useless) for more information on Buffy; Buffy's waiting for the Council (who is useless) for more information on Glory.
  • "She's not your bloody instrument, and you have no right to do any of this!" I love you, Giles.
  • They threatened Giles. Can we kill them now? Please? "Accidentally?"
  • Is the Glory scene over yet? I'm so bored by her.
  • "Giles, that Travers guy is like 60, I can't hit him ... can I?" Fantastic delivery.
  • Anya's amazing. "When I was younger and therefore smaller shorter than I am now."
  • Tara has amazing posture. 

Also, this line is amazing.

  • Wow, Xander even has a scratch on his face leftover from last week. Good job, makeup people!
  • "I don't hold with that demon nonsense. Muffin?"
  • The sequence of interrogation is delightful. The transitional lines are pretty fun.
  • Although I don't buy it that Buffy lets Spike drink from anyone. Should we just say Spike is lying?
  • Travers is the worst.
  • Giles, however, is the best. Translating the Japanese. Even if it's a bit late.
  • "How have you been training her?" // "I've trained her to win."
  • I can't wait for Travers to get blown up. Best thing Caleb ever accomplished.
  • Gasp Glory's in Buffy's house.
  • "If I wanted to fight, you could tell by the being dead already."
  • So how come Glory can't tell Dawn's the Key? Is it because she didn't lick her? She could tell without licking that Spike wasn't the Key. And by "could tell" I mean "will be able to tell in an episode we haven't blogged yet."
  • Also seriously, Dawn, you can tell Glory is dangerous, you can tell Buffy is scared and trying to protect you, and now is the time to be petulant and contrary?
  • "You're the only one strong enough to protect them." It's interesting, since she says a similar thing to Willow in the finale (well, only one strong enough to hurt Glory, but)
  • But I wonder if it means she intuits a bit about Spike's attachment to her, trusting that he'd actually act to protect two humans. She's seen that his commitment to the cause is still chiefly mercenary.
  • I totally forgot about these ridiculous Knights until right before they attacked Buffy. Because we haven't thrown enough at her this episode.
  • Seriously, why with the Knights though? Like why is that a thing. Knights, monks, all sorts of cray medieval stuff this season.
  • "Kill us and let legions follow." Sounds kinda ... Hydra-y to me.
  • Buffy gets to keep the sword! 
  • Buffy is the best. Best Buffy.
  • "Power. I have it; they don't. This bothers them."
  • "You came to beg me to let you back in. To give your jobs, your lives some sense of meaning." YEAH BUFFY.

  • "You can't stop Glory. You can't do anything with the information you have, except"
  • Bless Buffy. She even got Giles his salary paid retroactively.
  • "That's Riley-speak." // "I've clocked field time."
  • And THIS is why Buffy is the best. She recognizes she has power, but she's not there to hoard it. She empowers her friends too, recognizing their value and defending them against those who would take them down.

  • Everyone cheering at Buffy's success. Giles almost cries, he's so proud. I'm having feelings.
  • Oops Glory's a god. Buffy's eyes get just the littlest bit wider. "Oh."

Daniel's Thoughts:

  • This episode was in my tops list because of so many reasons
  • Aww, Riley left one of his many many turtlenecks
  • Shut up, Xander with your stupid fake English accent
  • Watchers are just other Giles’  Aww, Tara!
  • “You’ve always taken care of [Dawn]” ALWAYS.
  • Hey, look.  It’s Quentin McDoucheface.
  • Wow, the Magic Box has so many customers.
  • Anya is so adorable. “Yes I do. Ever since I moved here from southeastern Indiana, where I was raised by both a mother and a father.” Heh.
  • That is so me in a boring class.  Yawning, tapping pencils…  But I never spoke up as much as Buffy.  Also, stupid professor.  I had a professor once like that.
  • Spike’s leap.  His coat is so pointed, I could almost see the strings.
  • How does Buffy not know about this annoying crush.  It’s so obvi,, Buff.
  • Spike, is such a dick.
  • Do the minions know that Glory and Ben are one?  Can’t Glory just write a note to leave and then Ben gets it when they switch?
  • I’m so in love with Giles for standing up to the council.
  • Quentin McDouchbag is so damn condescending.  It’s so gross.
  • “What’s the deal with your face.” Heh.
  • I love the Magic Box table with the light in the middle.  I want that table.
  • "Anya Christina Emanuella Jenkins: twenty years old. Born on the fourth of July, and don't think there weren't jokes about that my whole life, mister, 'cause there were. 'Who's our little patriot?'they'd say, when I was younger, and therefore smaller and shorter than I am now."
  • Love when Willow and Tara have a mini-freak about revealing their relationship and then fully own their relationship…and then realize he wasn’t even asking about their relationship.
  • The ball of sunshine thing.  Should. Have. Happened.  Would have saved many lives.  Especially in season 7.
  • “What level are you at?”  “Five.”  Tara has no idea!
  • Why did they even offer up Spike to the watchers as someone to interview? SHENANIGANS!
  • Though it does give us fodder for great comedy. The female watcher being all starstruck because she did her thesis on him.
  • Quentin is reading the Japanese.  He doesn’t know.
  • The scene with Glory is intense.  She knows where she lives now…
  • Ugh, why.  Why Spike? He’s evil.  She knows this.  She’s oblivious to his crush.  At least it always feels that way.  Does she really think her family is safe there?  Send them out of town.  Paris or something.
  • I watched like five minutes of Passions once.  It was awful.
  • Oh, the knights.  The annoying, annoying knights. I forgot about the knights.
  • How do the knights know that Buffy is protecting the key?
  • This is the start of the Buffy speechifying. It works and the writers in season 7 think they can do it all over again and again. 
  • *cough*retro-actively*cough*  Oh, Giles. I love you.
  • “Willow’s a demon?!” YAYYAYAYYA.  That’s my favorite ever!
  • The celebration.  Such a full complete episode.
  • And finally the answer we’re looking for: "She’s a God."
  • And Buffy’s reaction is so good:

Favorite Lines:

Zelda: Buffy's entire speech, but highlights: "Power. I have it; they don't. This bothers them." "You're Watchers. Without a Slayer, you're pretty much just watching Masterpiece Theater. You can't stop Glory. You can't do anything with the information you have except maybe publish it in the 'Everyone Thinks We're Insane-O's Home Journal.' So here's how it's gonna work: You're gonna tell me everything you know. Then you're gonna go away." "We're talking about two very powerful witches and a thousand-year-old ex-demon ... The boy has clocked more field time than all of you combined. He's part of the unit."
Daniel: Anya's just ON this episode so I have two.  TWO.

"Anya Christina Emanuella Jenkins: twenty years old. Born on the fourth of July, and don't think there weren't jokes about that my whole life, mister, 'cause there were. 'Who's our little patriot?'they'd say, when I was younger, and therefore smaller and shorter than I am now." ~Anya

"Willow's a demon?!?" -Anya

Arc/Continuity Stuff:

  • First appearance: The Knights of Byzantium
  • Recurring: Joyce, Tara, Glory and her scabby minions, Quentin Travers, Ben
  • Giles is back from visiting the Council
  • Xander's still got his injuries from Olaf's attack in Triangle.
  • Anya's lameass made-up backstory: Anya moved here from Southeastern Indiana, where she was raised by both a mother and a father. Her full name is Anya Christina Emanuella Jenkins, she's 20 years old, and she was born on the 4th of July, making her the third Buffy character with a designated birthday. (unverified but we think so)
  • Willow's still working on that ball of sunshine.
  • Glory isn't a demon. She's a god.

Anya's Hair - blonde, shoulder-length, wavy
Dead Humans - 0
Dead Undeads - 1
Giles Unconscious - 0
Giles Cleans His Glasses - 1
Giles Cleans His Glasses So Hard They Break - 1
Buffy Breaks a Door - 0
Evil Reveal - 0
Unevil Reveal -  0
Shenanigans Called - 1
Apocalypse Called - 0