PLEASE NOTE: THIS IS A SPOILER-RICH ZONE. If your diet requires you to dine on television spoiler-free ... good luck with that.


Tuesday, August 28, 2018

Marshmallows and Promises

Episode 2.20: Look Who's Stalking. Original Airdate 4.25.06

"Gia is convinced she's being stalked, so Veronica takes the case despite her dad's orders not to get involved, but what she discovers not only shocks both girls, but leads to further questions. Meanwhile, Woody enlists Keith's help in avoiding a scandal when he ends up with a passed-out woman in his motel room. Also, when Principal Clemmons cancels the prom because of drinking violations on the senior trip, Logan takes it upon himself to throw an "alterna-prom" in his Neptune Grand suite."

Zelda's Thoughts:

  • Oh right. Veronica has chlamydia. That's a thing they decided to do. Also, fuck you Beaver
  • Wallace and Jackie are being adorable at least.
  • Poor Mac. But on the plus side, two Mac eps in a row! yay!
  • Clemmons cancelled prom. Mac: "Yes! Prayer works!"
  • Woody, you are the worst of the worst and I don't believe anything you're saying about the unconscious girl in your motel bed.
  • I wish Keith wasn't helping him. Especially since it's gonna bite him in the ass later.
  • Headcanon that Gia coming to ask for Veronica's help with her stalker is what sends her on her path to becoming Jessica Jones, P.I. Especially since it's about stalking
  • "Like Trouble with a capital T that rhymes with C that stands for--" // "Veronica."
  • Keith singsonging "I don't believe you" is my favorite
  • Gia: "I feel like at any moment Tom Cruise is gonna dangle from the ceiling on cables." // V: "Great. Now I won't be able to sleep." And THEN: "There! That's the car. Isn't it totally nondescript?" // "That's a 2002 silver Gallant." man, the banter this ep
  • gasp! it's Leo's car. oh right, this plot
  • "There was this one girl. She was blonde, petite, smelled of marshmallows and promises." // "Promises - that's the name of my perfume!" my ship, it is flirting

  • Logan's throwing an alternaprom! I wonder if he'll drunkenly confess that he still loves Veronica and deliver a speech about epicness.
  • Yep, Woody's pretending the unconscious girl was Keith's fault. He's the worst, and we don't even know the full extent of his worstness yet.
  • Wuh oh. Another stalkery dvd of the Goodman family. Whatcha doing, Beaver?
  • hahahah now Corny knows about alternaprom and it will therefore be the best
  • it's kind of sweet that Jackie and Terrence finally seem to have some kind of relationship
  • Veronica to Gia, who got the other video camera: "You just might have a future in this racket." FORESHADOWING
  • "Woody's scared of something, and he's lying about it, and it's serious." You have no idea, Keith.
  • oh look it's our friendly janitor Lucky! and he drives a red pickup truck! gasp a la gasp!
  • Lucky to Gia: "I know your dad, you know." sigh
  • time for the partay!
  • Logan's in white, Veronica's in black, and Logan is giggling nervously at her. Methinks our ship is returning to port. Or is it that the ship is sailing again? One of the things.

  • It is tiiiiiiime for the scene. "I thought our story was epic, you know? You and me ... Spanning years and continents. Lives ruined, bloodshed, epic. But summer's almost here. And we won't see each other at all. Then you'll leave town, then ... it's over ..."
  • And he finally apologizes for what a douche he became over the summer.
  • Jason Dohring, acting the shit out of this, holding back tears, drunk but earnest. "No one writes songs about the ones that come easy."
  • And V almost lets him kiss her, but then she runs away.
  • sigh. And Terrence Cook's rep is officially destroyed, with a headline outing when he threw the game
  • And now it's time for Kristen Bell to break our hearts, as Logan breaks hers.
  • Oh man, Logan's face, confused and worried and hungover and scared - he claims he doesn't remember but we find out later he does. But also he hooked up with Kendall after V fled.
  • Everybody cry.

Daniel's Thoughts: 

  • Holy crap.  Veronica has Chlamydia which is not a flower, Gia.
  • It’s Prom time at Neptune High.  Except, oops – Prom got  cancelled.  At least Mac is happy.  Veronica has no horse in this race.
  • Woody got caught with a (female) dead prostitute?
  • Aww, Gia is so dumb.  She doesn’t get Veronica’s irony.
  • Who belongs to those sexy legs in Keith’s office.  It’s Charisma Cordelia Casablancs Banks Chase. [Hey, her name is my name, too! - Z]
  • We should have statted how many times Veronica uses “school project” as a lie/excuse.
  • “How very Mission Impossible.  I feel like any moment Tom Cruise is gonna dangle from the ceiling on cables” “Great. Now I won't be able to sleep. I hope he doesn't try to marry me.”
  • Gia’s a total fan of Veronica Mars.  She’s in awe.  Gia is all of us.
  • Leo D’Amato!  “Greek Italian” according to Veronica.  Nah, Max Greenfield is my Jewish Boyfriend.
  • I still find it weird that half of these ‘regulars’ are never in the show.
  • ‘Alterna-Prom’ isn’t usually made by the rich kids – it’s usually about gay kids who aren’t allowed to bring dates to their proms.
  • So Leo’s no longer a cop, because he stole evidence….so now personal security
  • “Cute in a tough mumbly kinda way” – That’s our Leo!  (also totally my type.)  That should be my Tinder Profile title: Billy Eichner type ISO Max Greenfield type.
  • Wallace wants to go to the batting cages instead of Prom.  What?
  • Veronica to Gia “You might have a future in this racket”   She has about ten years. *spoilers*
  • Dick’s going STAG to alterna-prom.  What happened to Madison?
  • “Woody’s scared about something and he’s lying about it” – Yep.
  • Aww, this is the second time Veronica’s calling Keith for help.  It’s nice to see them working together.
  • “Do you want to see something freaky?”  If a strange guy asks you that?  The answer is always no.
  • Oh there’s Madison.
  • Lol. Corny’s wearing a tuxedo shirt.

  • I really dig the white tux on Logan.
  • “I know it’s weird to force someone to go to prom with you.”  Um, ‘weird’ isn’t the word I'd use.  The sentiment is nice.  Mac and Butters are both weird folk and maybe in this crazy world -  Nope.  It’s just wrong.
  • Kristen Bell & Jason Dohring can show so much without words.  It’s nice.  The flirtation is great between them.
  • “I thought our story was epic, you know.  You and me.”  Everyone remembers this Logan line.
  • “You really think a relationship should be that hard?” “No one writes songs about the ones that are easy” – another great Logan line.  
  • Aww, Jackie & Wallace are gonna do it.
  • Lucky was just about to spill the beans on Woody Goodman – and of course Lamb had to ruin it.
  • Logan is hungover when Veronica comes to visit him after thinking about things.  And Logan is shirtless opening his penthouse door and of course someone will be there…  It’s Kendall of course.  But what’s worse is Logan doesn’t remember all the nice things he said the night before.
  • Veronica crying is the saddest.


D: Oh no, it's Leo! He's stalking Gia?
Z: I think he's been hired to look after her.
D: Dont' spoil it! I haven't seen it!
Z: ... yes you have!

D: But I don't remember things!

Gia: I just don't get you people!
D: "You people"?
Z: Blondes.

Favorite Lines 

Zelda: "I thought our story was epic, you know? You and me ... Spanning years and continents. Lives ruined, bloodshed, epic. But summer's almost here. And we won't see each other at all. Then you'll leave town, then ... it's over ..." - Logan (I couldn't not)
Daniel: Gia:
“How very Mission Impossible.  I feel like any moment Tom Cruise is gonna dangle from the ceiling on cables” Veronica: “Great. Now I won't be able to sleep. I hope he doesn't try to marry me.”


Neptune Roll Call: Wallace, Logan, Dick, Jackie (Absent: Duncan, Weevil, Beaver)
Recurring: Mac, Woody Goodman, Gia Goodman, Leo D'Amato, Rodney Goodman, Lloyd Blankenship, Corny, Terrence Cook, Mr. Wu, Lucky, Sheriff Don Lamb, Madison Sinclair, Vincent "Butters" Clemmons, Kendall Casablancas


Dead Humans - 0
Backup Sighting - 0
Veronica Breaks In - 0
Veronica Tases Someone - 0
Mac Hacks - 0
Who's Your Daddy? - 0
Wallace Does Veronica a Favor - 0
Veronica Wants a Pony - 0
Logan Punches Someone - 0
Dick's Single Entendres - 1 "Speaking of pork, wanna meet my hog?"
Shenanigans Called - 0

Tuesday, August 21, 2018

Stupid Fake Deer Faces

Episode 2.19: Nevermind the Buttocks. Original Airdate 4.18.06

"Veronica looks for a dog killer after being hired by a student whose pet was ran over, and Keith discovers surprising revelations about Kendall's past. Meanwhile, Weevil learns that the Fitzpatricks are abusing his old gang members, and Jackie applies for a job at Java the Hut and asks Veronica to put in a good word for her. Wallace tries to get back together with Jackie, but she gives him some heartbreaking news."

Daniel's Thoughts:

  • So Veronica is being questioned by lawyers.  It’s nice to know that this whole story didn’t end just because Aaron was arrested.  I mean, I'd like it to end and go away forever, sure, but it's more realistic because these things tend to go on forever.
  • Aww, I can’t believe they’re making students feed mice to snakes.  I would protest.
  • True story: I almost told my biology teacher I couldn’t dissect a frog.  But then I did it anyway because I was non-combative in school. 
  • Aww, Mac got something taken away in a locker check.  But also, what the hell is a cell phone interceptor? Is that a real thing?
  • “He changed his lock? Man, he’s gotten paranoid.” Lol.
  • Principal whathisface’s son is named “Vincent”….that’s two Vinnies on this show. 
A Tale of Two Vinnies

  • Crap, Veronica didn’t tell Mac  about the deal that she’d have to go to the dance with Butters in exchange for getting her cell phone interceptor back.
  • Thumper ref – “He must be crushed” – Weevil…   ohhhhh.  Except we’re not sure if Weevil knew what exactly happened to Thumper.
  • After all they’ve been through, I can’t believe Veronica is accusing Weevil of putting a bomb on the bus.
  • Aww.  There’s a lot of dog related mysteries on this show.  I love that not only does Veronica have a dog, but she’s very empathetic to those who have lost theirs.  Dogs rule! (Cats drool).
  • Jackie comes into view and I’m like, “who is…” Oh.  That’s Jackie.  She got her hair straightened.  This feeds into my theory of I don’t recognize people who change their hair. [It's true. Two years ago I went from dark brunette to platinum blonde and he still doesn't know who I am. - Z]
  • “Logan may be a little fuzzy on the commandments.”
  • And now Kendall’s a suspect?  Well, with four episodes left, everyone’s a suspect.
  • And Jessica Jones is here!  And someone mooned her.
  • Ooh, and she reveals that her dad called her moments before the crash to see where she was.  It seems innocuous & unimportant at the time…but…
  • The guy Veronica is helping seems like kind of a psycho.  Either that, or he just loved his dog very much.
  • So Kendall used to be Priscilla Banks.  What will this lead to?
  • Jackie’s got accepted to the Sorbonne in Paris...she says.  Which is great considering we’ve never seen her have an affinity for or interest in cooking.  But…I guess we know she won’t be in season 3.
  • Uh oh.  Keith’s investigation led him to the same place as Veronica’s. And it’s a good thing she called him – uncharacteristically, I might add – because she might have saved his life.
  • And also, uh oh – it’s a Fitzpatrick.
  • Holy shit – good thing the gun wasn’t loaded. I mean, how did Veronica know to take the bullets out? 
  • Also – Holy shit – it’s Kendall Priscilla Cordelia Banks Casablancas Schifflett Chase. [aka Lameass Made Up Entire Name Casablancas - Anya]
  • Weevil’s ex-crew vs The Fitzpatrick crew – there’s gonna be a rumble tonighttttt.
  • Come on, Weevil – come through.  I know you’re on your way.  Hey, there he is!  Weevil to the rescue!

Zelda's Thoughts:

  • I'd say "oh good we're finally getting back to Aaron Echolls's case" but I know the future and it makes me angry.
  • "Statutory rape is a grave accusation." // "Not to a murderer."
  • Oh right, the current Mars theory is that Kendall was trying to take out the Casablancas kids on the bus for the life insurance.
  • Weevil, pointedly: "I got no problem sacrificing a rat." Okay so that entire scene of him feeding the live rat to the class python, which of course is a thing a high school class would have, just so we could have a completely subtle and not at all hamhanded allusion to what he did to Thumper
  • "Please respect the business model, Veronica. I do the gadgets, you do the actual espionage." Aw you guys, this time Veronica's doing Mac a favor.
  • Gasp! Clemmons changed his lock, so we don't even get a Veronica Breaks In stat (don't worry, we get one when she breaks into the garage of Cataract Lady)
  • oh riiiiiiight Vincent/Butters has a crush on Mac. And Veronica just volunteers her as his prom date? Like without asking? I don't care if Mac and Beaver are on the outs (actually I'm thrilled about it), but you don't do that to your friend.
  • And then she didn't even give Mac a heads up.
  • And then she accuses Weevil of blowing up the bus. V is batting a thousand today.
  • Okay, fine, there are two reasons for that pointed rat-feeding scene - V's using it as evidence that he's the one who put the dead rat on the bus.
  • Ugh I hate when Weevil and Veronica are on the outs. Especially because it's almost always with Veronica incorrectly accusing Weevil of criminal activity. (though, to be fair, while he didn't kill Thumper, he did frame him knowing the Fitzpatricks would almost certainly kill him. But that doesn't mean he blew up the bus)
  • you guys WHAT THE FUCK. Neptune High's movie club is having an Aaron Echolls marathon. 
yellow flier in the top left corner

  • Oh right, this is the Jackie-working-at-The-Hut plotline
  • You know what, Wallace, eff this. Demanding that he'll be platonic friends with Jackie only if she stops being attractive, basically. And then he piles on with talking about how her dad's in jail for the bus crash. What the eff is wrong with Wallace this season? Is he turning into our Xander?
  • Man, Veronica's Case of the Week - who killed this rando's dog - really does feel like the least interesting piece of this episode, leveled against Weevil's drama, the impending Echolls trial, Keith and Veronica working on the bus case, even Jackie needing a job. The potential for it to tie in to the bus crash - that Gia saw the car right before the bus went off the cliff - feels like the only reason it might not be a complete waste of time.
  • Le gasp! Cordelia Chase stole the identity of Kendall Casablancas. Her real name is Priscilla Banks and she has a history of wire fraud. Oh right, the thing where she pretends to be a lot dumber than she is.
  • Oh good, Veronica and Weevil have made up, with Weevil explaining everything.
  • It's a very cute touch that Weevil still calls Keith "Sheriff." Goes along with Keith always calling Weevil by his first name, Eli. And I guess a future nod to the fact that he'll be the only one to not call Piz Piz.

  • And Wallace is behaving better too, telling Jackie he'll back off if she's truly not interested in him.
  • You guys, the driver of the mysterious green car is wearing a claddagh ring. IS IT ANGEL. (No, they just want to make sure we know he's Irish)
  • Okay, I guess I forgive the boring "find the car" plot since it does tie into Keith investigating Not!Kendall, who, it turns out, is now in bed with the Fitzpatricks. You know. That crime family that has a finger in every pie even though we've never heard of them until this season. Also Kendall has a secret house, for funsies.
  • "His gun wasn't loaded." // "If you wouldn't've hung up on me, I could have told you." my beautiful Marses
  • "Your wish is my shift-command."
  • gasp! the younger brother of my-dog-is-dead rando is a PCHer and getting beaten by the Fitzpatricks. Okay, I did have a small memory that the dead dog was a red herring, and it was actually about siccing Veronica on Liam Fitzpatrick, so I guess it's okay that the starter part of that plot was boring, since we're moving toward the finale and it's time to tie things together in one big celtic knot (I am the worst) (especially since the Fitzpatricks have jack to do with the bus crash)
  • But good news, Weevil wrests control of the PCHers back from the Fitzpatricks, and hopefully their drug dealing escapades are at an end.
  • They just revealed that Kendall has always been in league with the Fitzpatricks (partners with imprisoned Cormac Fitzpatrick) and I just ... it's silly. The Fitzpatrick stuff is silly. Yes, the violence they perpetuate is scary, but the conspiracy stuff surrounding them is hard for me to take seriously.
  • Le SIIIIIIIIIGH. Duncan's hair, which Kendall stole fifteen thousand years ago, has resurfaced on Aaron's Oscar statue (also HAHA AARON ECHOLLS WON AN OSCAR OKAY SURE)
  • Do we think, with one-off rando Harry's weapon fixation, that they actually wanted this plotline to involve Norris Clayton from last season? He was definitely more compelling than this guy.

Favorite Lines:
Daniel: "He changed his lock? Man, he's gotten paranoid." -Veronica Voiceover
Zelda: "Your wish is my shift-command." - Mac

Neptune Roll Call: Wallace, Logan, Weevil, Jackie (Absent: Duncan, Dick, Beaver)
First Appearance: Ethan Lavoie
Recurring: Cliff McCormack, Mac, Vincent "Butters" Clemmons, Cute as a Bug Manager, Gia Goodman, Hector, Liam Fitzpatrick, Kendall Casablancas
Generally Known TV Face: Matt Bush

Dead Humans - 0
Backup Sighting - 0
Veronica Breaks In - 1
Veronica Tases Someone - 0
Mac Hacks - 1
Who's Your Daddy? - 0
Wallace Does Veronica a Favor - 0
Veronica Wants a Pony - 0
Logan Punches Someone - 0
Dick's Single Entendres - 0
Shenanigans Called - 0

Tuesday, August 7, 2018

I Know Who You Did Last Summer

Episode 2.18: I Am God. Original Airdate 4.11.06 

"A restless Veronica is plagued by dreams in which the students killed in the bus crash confront her. Meanwhile, Logan and Wallace are paired together for a physics project that neither is enthusiastic about, until they discover that their success might help Veronica receive a scholarship. Later, when a large number of students are diagnosed with a medical ailment that gives them the right to postpone school tests and projects, a concerned principal Clemmons hires Keith to investigate the validity of the disorder."

Zelda's Thoughts:

  • Miss James is back! Hi Miss James!
  • V's having nightmares about the bus crash victims. It's Lilly all over again.
  • Considerately, V is recapping what we know of the the victims, since it's been a hot minute
  • Time to introduce Lucky the Janitor to the narrative.
  • Dream Meg: "Have you been reading my emails ... wait. Forgot. I'm dead. In VeronicaLand, no pulse, no privacy."
  • We can't stat it because we didn't see it, but V broke in to investigate the bus just like Keith did.
  • I guess now that Hannah's gone, we're positioning LoVe to return, and maybe the Awkward Dance at Sadie Hawkins last ep was the first step of that.
  • Step two is an extended make out flashback of LoVe, plus banter banter.
  • I gotta admire Mr. Wu's restraint, not punishing Dick for his rampant racist jokes.
  • "Dick Casablancas is the bastard child of Satan." // "Well, that would explain a lot." I like this girl.
  • Logan: "You don't like me much, do you:" Wallace: "The last time we actually talked, you were bashing Veronica's headlights with a crowbar." It's a fair point, the two of them really haven't interacted much
  • It's really lovely seeing how happy V is that she got into Stanford ... though I'm with her, why was her acceptance letter so thin? My acceptance letters were big full size packets. My rejections were small and letter sized.

  • But V got knocked out of first place for the Kane scholarship, so she probably can't afford to go to Stanford.
  • Oh right, Keith is doing these blind dates ... but it's for some other reason than dating, I forget what.
  • GASP his second blind date is with Anne L. Nathan! She's a character actress who's been in All the Musicals. I met her once in a Pret and it's a very cute story. Well, it's an okay story. Fine, it's a dorky story. I dorked at character actress Anne L. Nathan in a Pret when she asked me what time it was.
  • Wuh oh. Keith and Clemmons came into Clemmons's office while Veronica was breaking in. She's hiding in the closet, but at least we get to find out why Keith came by the school and denied it.
  • Keith's face when he finds her in the closet. Absolutley amazing. But he doesn't rat her out. "Yep, that's mine all right."

  • And date #3 is the reason he's doing what he's doing. He found the office manager of a doctor, and that's how he got a recording of an ongoing doctor scam to get kids out of exams for made up reasons.
  • And Dream Peter makes a good point: "Why was I even on that bus? Why would I even be interested in going to a baseball stadium?" and it's a good clue. He was going because of Woody.
  • heh but they're not rushing into the LoVe ship just yet: "You are such a catch. How has Hannah been able to keep away?"
  • and "I am God" was an album cover red herring.
  • "I didn't just ruin Citizen Kane for you, did I?"

Daniel's Thoughts:

  • Uh oh, Veronica’s in trouble [Must be Tuesday? - Buffy]
  • Jennifer Love Hewitt  - Ghost Whisperer reference – what a fun, kinda dumb show.  But it was cute for a while.
  • Veronica’s dreams are weird, but cool, we get to see Meg again.

  • The mystery is getting going.
  • Keith makes a potshot Paris Hilton joke and we all laugh because a) she’s terrible and b) she guest starred on the show in season 1.
  • And there is the title written there on one of the bus seats. 
  • Lotsa flashbacks this episode.  This one has a lot of Veronica/Logan making out.
  • Dick was just openly racist to an Asian teacher.  Why is this at all acceptable?
  • Logan & Wallace in a scene together? What?
  • Aww, Deputy Leo reference.
  • “Dick Casablancas is the bastard child of Satan.”  Yep.
  • And someone on the radio show calls Logan, “Rosemary’s baby”.  That’s the 2nd reference in a row to a rich kid being Satan’s child.  Consistency or laziness in writing?
  • I failed this egg drop thing in high school.  My egg totally broke.
  • Logan calls a maid bringing up a pillow his 'fluffer'.  Like…what?  Why are we just accepting all this blatant misogyny?  The maid doesn’t even blink.
  • OMG, One more – Angie is described as a demon’s spawn.  Ok, a bit of a step down from Satan’s child, but-
  • Is…Keith internet dating?  I’m sure this has something to do with a case…
  • Wow, the egg drop is just off a desk?  Ours was off a rooftop!
  • One of the teams is using a teddy bear for the egg drop project.
  • Oh no.  Keith’s 2nd date describes Keith as George from Seinfeld.  That’s so sad.
  • I guess dropping it from the desk was just the first test.
  • I love Veronica’s ring of 20,000 keys.  Oh no!  Principal Clemmon’s coming back!  And he’s with Keith!
  • And Keith catches her and it’s awesome.  Because he doesn’t rat her out.
  • Keith’s date #3 is the office manager at a doctor’s office. Which seems important.
  • Gay kid: “Why would I be interested in going to a baseball stadium?”  Because gay kids can’t be interested in sports.  That would ruin your stereotypes.
  • Ah, ok, next test was a 12 foot drop.  That’s cool.  Ours was still higher.  And we didn’t get partners either.  Admittedly I didn’t try that hard.  I was a total underachiever in high school.
  • Are….Wallace and Logan friends now?
  • They got us with the dream within a dream!
  • Veronica’s taking a nap! I love naps!  Naps are the best!
  • Anxiety dreams!  I have those too!

Favorite Lines:
Zelda: "I didn't just ruin Citizen Kane for you, did I?" - Veronica
Daniel: "Did you watch House of Wax again? You know that Hilton girl gives you nightmares." - Keith

Neptune Roll Call: Wallace, Logan, Dick, Beaver (Absent: Duncan, Weevil, Jackie)
First Appearance: Marcos Oliveres, Lucky, Peter Ferrer
Recurring: Rebecca James, Meg Manning, Michelle Thompson, Mr. Wu, Principal Van Clemmons, Mrs. Murphy

Dead Humans - 0
Backup Sighting - 0
Veronica Breaks In - 1
Veronica Tases Someone - 0
Mac Hacks - 0
Who's Your Daddy? - 0
Wallace Does Veronica a Favor - 0
Veronica Wants a Pony - 0
Logan Punches Someone - 0
Dick's Single Entendres - 3 (Bareback Mountain quotation), "Just because you wiggle your finger doesn't mean Dick's gonna come," "Maybe you and Ronnie could soap each other's backs"
Shenanigans Called - 0