PLEASE NOTE: THIS IS A SPOILER-RICH ZONE. If your diet requires you to dine on television spoiler-free ... good luck with that.


Tuesday, August 21, 2018

Stupid Fake Deer Faces

Episode 2.19: Nevermind the Buttocks. Original Airdate 4.18.06

"Veronica looks for a dog killer after being hired by a student whose pet was ran over, and Keith discovers surprising revelations about Kendall's past. Meanwhile, Weevil learns that the Fitzpatricks are abusing his old gang members, and Jackie applies for a job at Java the Hut and asks Veronica to put in a good word for her. Wallace tries to get back together with Jackie, but she gives him some heartbreaking news."

Daniel's Thoughts:

  • So Veronica is being questioned by lawyers.  It’s nice to know that this whole story didn’t end just because Aaron was arrested.  I mean, I'd like it to end and go away forever, sure, but it's more realistic because these things tend to go on forever.
  • Aww, I can’t believe they’re making students feed mice to snakes.  I would protest.
  • True story: I almost told my biology teacher I couldn’t dissect a frog.  But then I did it anyway because I was non-combative in school. 
  • Aww, Mac got something taken away in a locker check.  But also, what the hell is a cell phone interceptor? Is that a real thing?
  • “He changed his lock? Man, he’s gotten paranoid.” Lol.
  • Principal whathisface’s son is named “Vincent”….that’s two Vinnies on this show. 
A Tale of Two Vinnies

  • Crap, Veronica didn’t tell Mac  about the deal that she’d have to go to the dance with Butters in exchange for getting her cell phone interceptor back.
  • Thumper ref – “He must be crushed” – Weevil…   ohhhhh.  Except we’re not sure if Weevil knew what exactly happened to Thumper.
  • After all they’ve been through, I can’t believe Veronica is accusing Weevil of putting a bomb on the bus.
  • Aww.  There’s a lot of dog related mysteries on this show.  I love that not only does Veronica have a dog, but she’s very empathetic to those who have lost theirs.  Dogs rule! (Cats drool).
  • Jackie comes into view and I’m like, “who is…” Oh.  That’s Jackie.  She got her hair straightened.  This feeds into my theory of I don’t recognize people who change their hair. [It's true. Two years ago I went from dark brunette to platinum blonde and he still doesn't know who I am. - Z]
  • “Logan may be a little fuzzy on the commandments.”
  • And now Kendall’s a suspect?  Well, with four episodes left, everyone’s a suspect.
  • And Jessica Jones is here!  And someone mooned her.
  • Ooh, and she reveals that her dad called her moments before the crash to see where she was.  It seems innocuous & unimportant at the time…but…
  • The guy Veronica is helping seems like kind of a psycho.  Either that, or he just loved his dog very much.
  • So Kendall used to be Priscilla Banks.  What will this lead to?
  • Jackie’s got accepted to the Sorbonne in Paris...she says.  Which is great considering we’ve never seen her have an affinity for or interest in cooking.  But…I guess we know she won’t be in season 3.
  • Uh oh.  Keith’s investigation led him to the same place as Veronica’s. And it’s a good thing she called him – uncharacteristically, I might add – because she might have saved his life.
  • And also, uh oh – it’s a Fitzpatrick.
  • Holy shit – good thing the gun wasn’t loaded. I mean, how did Veronica know to take the bullets out? 
  • Also – Holy shit – it’s Kendall Priscilla Cordelia Banks Casablancas Schifflett Chase. [aka Lameass Made Up Entire Name Casablancas - Anya]
  • Weevil’s ex-crew vs The Fitzpatrick crew – there’s gonna be a rumble tonighttttt.
  • Come on, Weevil – come through.  I know you’re on your way.  Hey, there he is!  Weevil to the rescue!

Zelda's Thoughts:

  • I'd say "oh good we're finally getting back to Aaron Echolls's case" but I know the future and it makes me angry.
  • "Statutory rape is a grave accusation." // "Not to a murderer."
  • Oh right, the current Mars theory is that Kendall was trying to take out the Casablancas kids on the bus for the life insurance.
  • Weevil, pointedly: "I got no problem sacrificing a rat." Okay so that entire scene of him feeding the live rat to the class python, which of course is a thing a high school class would have, just so we could have a completely subtle and not at all hamhanded allusion to what he did to Thumper
  • "Please respect the business model, Veronica. I do the gadgets, you do the actual espionage." Aw you guys, this time Veronica's doing Mac a favor.
  • Gasp! Clemmons changed his lock, so we don't even get a Veronica Breaks In stat (don't worry, we get one when she breaks into the garage of Cataract Lady)
  • oh riiiiiiight Vincent/Butters has a crush on Mac. And Veronica just volunteers her as his prom date? Like without asking? I don't care if Mac and Beaver are on the outs (actually I'm thrilled about it), but you don't do that to your friend.
  • And then she didn't even give Mac a heads up.
  • And then she accuses Weevil of blowing up the bus. V is batting a thousand today.
  • Okay, fine, there are two reasons for that pointed rat-feeding scene - V's using it as evidence that he's the one who put the dead rat on the bus.
  • Ugh I hate when Weevil and Veronica are on the outs. Especially because it's almost always with Veronica incorrectly accusing Weevil of criminal activity. (though, to be fair, while he didn't kill Thumper, he did frame him knowing the Fitzpatricks would almost certainly kill him. But that doesn't mean he blew up the bus)
  • you guys WHAT THE FUCK. Neptune High's movie club is having an Aaron Echolls marathon. 
yellow flier in the top left corner

  • Oh right, this is the Jackie-working-at-The-Hut plotline
  • You know what, Wallace, eff this. Demanding that he'll be platonic friends with Jackie only if she stops being attractive, basically. And then he piles on with talking about how her dad's in jail for the bus crash. What the eff is wrong with Wallace this season? Is he turning into our Xander?
  • Man, Veronica's Case of the Week - who killed this rando's dog - really does feel like the least interesting piece of this episode, leveled against Weevil's drama, the impending Echolls trial, Keith and Veronica working on the bus case, even Jackie needing a job. The potential for it to tie in to the bus crash - that Gia saw the car right before the bus went off the cliff - feels like the only reason it might not be a complete waste of time.
  • Le gasp! Cordelia Chase stole the identity of Kendall Casablancas. Her real name is Priscilla Banks and she has a history of wire fraud. Oh right, the thing where she pretends to be a lot dumber than she is.
  • Oh good, Veronica and Weevil have made up, with Weevil explaining everything.
  • It's a very cute touch that Weevil still calls Keith "Sheriff." Goes along with Keith always calling Weevil by his first name, Eli. And I guess a future nod to the fact that he'll be the only one to not call Piz Piz.

  • And Wallace is behaving better too, telling Jackie he'll back off if she's truly not interested in him.
  • You guys, the driver of the mysterious green car is wearing a claddagh ring. IS IT ANGEL. (No, they just want to make sure we know he's Irish)
  • Okay, I guess I forgive the boring "find the car" plot since it does tie into Keith investigating Not!Kendall, who, it turns out, is now in bed with the Fitzpatricks. You know. That crime family that has a finger in every pie even though we've never heard of them until this season. Also Kendall has a secret house, for funsies.
  • "His gun wasn't loaded." // "If you wouldn't've hung up on me, I could have told you." my beautiful Marses
  • "Your wish is my shift-command."
  • gasp! the younger brother of my-dog-is-dead rando is a PCHer and getting beaten by the Fitzpatricks. Okay, I did have a small memory that the dead dog was a red herring, and it was actually about siccing Veronica on Liam Fitzpatrick, so I guess it's okay that the starter part of that plot was boring, since we're moving toward the finale and it's time to tie things together in one big celtic knot (I am the worst) (especially since the Fitzpatricks have jack to do with the bus crash)
  • But good news, Weevil wrests control of the PCHers back from the Fitzpatricks, and hopefully their drug dealing escapades are at an end.
  • They just revealed that Kendall has always been in league with the Fitzpatricks (partners with imprisoned Cormac Fitzpatrick) and I just ... it's silly. The Fitzpatrick stuff is silly. Yes, the violence they perpetuate is scary, but the conspiracy stuff surrounding them is hard for me to take seriously.
  • Le SIIIIIIIIIGH. Duncan's hair, which Kendall stole fifteen thousand years ago, has resurfaced on Aaron's Oscar statue (also HAHA AARON ECHOLLS WON AN OSCAR OKAY SURE)
  • Do we think, with one-off rando Harry's weapon fixation, that they actually wanted this plotline to involve Norris Clayton from last season? He was definitely more compelling than this guy.

Favorite Lines:
Daniel: "He changed his lock? Man, he's gotten paranoid." -Veronica Voiceover
Zelda: "Your wish is my shift-command." - Mac

Neptune Roll Call: Wallace, Logan, Weevil, Jackie (Absent: Duncan, Dick, Beaver)
First Appearance: Ethan Lavoie
Recurring: Cliff McCormack, Mac, Vincent "Butters" Clemmons, Cute as a Bug Manager, Gia Goodman, Hector, Liam Fitzpatrick, Kendall Casablancas
Generally Known TV Face: Matt Bush

Dead Humans - 0
Backup Sighting - 0
Veronica Breaks In - 1
Veronica Tases Someone - 0
Mac Hacks - 1
Who's Your Daddy? - 0
Wallace Does Veronica a Favor - 0
Veronica Wants a Pony - 0
Logan Punches Someone - 0
Dick's Single Entendres - 0
Shenanigans Called - 0

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