PLEASE NOTE: THIS IS A SPOILER-RICH ZONE. If your diet requires you to dine on television spoiler-free ... good luck with that.


Tuesday, December 18, 2018


Episode 3.2: My Big Fat Greek Rush Week. Original Airdate 10.10.06

"Veronica is hired by the campus newspaper to do an undercover expose on the Zeta Theta sorority sisters during rush week to investigate Parker's rape. Throughout the investigation, Veronica realizes that everything is not exactly what [it] seems in the sorority house. Meanwhile, Logan and Wallace participate in a prisoner/guard role-playing experiment for their Sociology class, which challenges them psychologically."

Zelda's Thoughts:

  • Ugh, poor Parker. V: "The thing about being roofied and raped? You may not remember the who, when, where, or why, but you know the what."
  • And both V and Mac are feeling guilty, Mac for slut shaming, V for having been in the room while it was happening but not realizing.
  • And fucking Lamb calls it "wolf cry number two" when he sees Veronica, because he refuses to believe teenage girls.
  • You guys, Wallace and Logan's teacher is Homer Simpson
  • it's lucky he's telling them about their big assignment in the not-first-class, since we know Logan missed that class
  • This Theta Beta house is full on Stepford Terrifying

  • gasp a vampire!
  • Wallace and Logan continue their maybe-friendship with a side bet of which side will win the prisoner experiment.
  • it's cool how this douche gets to brush off being offensive and racist and twelve shades of awful as "just playing the part." that's super cool
  • good job, Keith! you used the animal trap in this weird weird side plot to take Cormac down
  • ... well, hobble him anyway
  • ah okay so Liam was the one tracking Cormac through Vinnie's pen
  • I still don't think I get why Cormac shot Kendall. I feel like I missed a step or two in the Fitzpatrick plot, which I've never really cared about anyway, but still. They're spending a lot of time and energy and valuable Keith screen time on this.
  • gasp Chip Diller is back
  • I just find so much of this entire prison experiment plotline unpleasant. I'm sorry I'm not more entertaining but I'm not particularly entertained by this. It's just too toxic and I'm too tired.
  • Yay on top of body shaming, racism, there's also homophobia, this guy is everything worst
  • Do we ever find any bodies in the Fitzpatrick storyline? Is Kendall confirmed dead? Is Cormac?
  • when is this episode over
  • and Mac convinces Parker to stick around and be a season regular after all
  • and we finally see what was in the Pulp Fiction briefcase ... a Van Gogh. Which Keith is selling and donating the proceeds to a food bank because guilt (and also any money from that painting is blood money)
  • It's really weird to hear Horshack saying Rafe (the bag of dicks played by Rider Strong) is a cool guy, that that was all an act. Is that supposed to make us okay with it? Because I'm super not okay with it.  

  • And at least Wallace isn't either. I guess the one good thing is Wallace won the prison experiment through outwitting the prisoners (changing the clock) rather than through the torture and abuse methods
  • and now that stupid ep is over 

Daniel's Thoughts:

  • We continue from the previous ep.  Parker is sitting in bed talking to a female cop – her head shaved.
  • Now Mac & Veronica are kicking themselves for slut-shaming
  • Parker’s accusation that Veronica just ‘let this happen’ is unfair, but given to what happened to her - not unexpected.
  • Keith is still in the desert – oh no.  Does Veronica know?
  • Homer Simpson is teaching a course at Neptune University.  Intro to Sociology.

  • Oh man, they’re doing that thing – that prisoner/student experiment thing.
  • Recurring frakking RA.
  • Reporter woman wants Veronica to infiltrate a sorority to help out with the serial rape case.  Quel Coincidence.
  • Parker’s considering going home.  And Mac doesn’t blame her.  Neither do I.
  • Of course Logan & Wallace are on separate sides.  And of course Logan is a prisoner.
  • Rider Strong of Boy Meets World fame is the lead guard.  And he’s right-away acting like the part – which doesn’t bode well for his future – or what it says about him as a human being. 
  • Ugh, more Fitzpatricks and betrayal and I don’t care…
  • Veronica’s really in hell at this sorority party.  She’s pretending to act totally drunk.
  • Veronica calls her weapon Mr. Sparky like Buffy called hers Mr. Pointy.
  • I mean even if she’s not drunk, she still shouldn’t be just dropped off at a park.
  • I never really got the point of the prison experiment – show people at their worst?  I guess?
  • Oh poor Keith.  He’s really taking this hard.  Glad he has Veronica.
  • Parker’s mom is a total jerk – but I guess there has to be a reason for Parker to stay.
  • Biscotti?  No!
  • I love when Logan/Veronica banter.
  • If they escaped – why did they go somewhere where they’d get caught?  I mean prisoners escape – why didn’t they just go somewhere to lay low for the rest of the night.
  • Oh man – who knew. The weed.
  • Hahah. Homer D’oh’ed!
  • Mac convinces Parker to stay – which of course –is pretty easy.  All she has to do is say ‘stay’.
  • They’re really showing a divide of the ‘type’ of girl deemed to be a ‘feminist’ and then the typical sorority girl.  It’s kind of offensive…
  • At least the dumb prisoner experiment is over.  I really couldn’t take the Rider Strong bit.

Favorite Lines:

Zelda: "Lemonade? Worst Roman orgy ever." - Veronica
Daniel: "D'oh!" -Dr. (Homer Simpson) Kinney

Neptune Roll Call: Logan, Wallace, Dick, Parker, Mac, Sheriff Don Lamb (Absent: Piz, Weevil)
First Appearance: Nish Sweeney, Hallie Piatt, Mrs. Lee
Recurring: Moe Flater, Liam Fitzpatrick, Cormac Fitzpatrick, Chip Diller, Fern Delgado
Generally Known TV Face: Samm Levine, Rider Strong, Rachelle Lefevre, Dan Castellaneta (well, voice)

Dead Humans - 1
Backup Sighting - 0
Veronica Breaks In - 1
Veronica Tases Someone - 0
Mac Hacks - 0
Who's Your Daddy? - 0
Wallace Does Veronica a Favor - 0
Veronica Wants a Pony - 0
Logan Punches Someone - 0
Dick's Single Entendres - 0
Shenanigans Called - 0

Tuesday, December 11, 2018

Move Uranus, the Mercury's Rising

Episode 3.1: Welcome Wagon. Original Airdate 10.03.06

"Veronica is in true form from the moment she and boyfriend, Logan, along with close friends, Wallace and Mac, set foot on the campus of Hearst College. Wallace enlists Veronica's help when his new roommate, Piz, has all his belongings stolen. While working on Piz's case, Veronica learns that the campus serial rapist has struck again. Meanwhile, Keith runs into trouble while transporting a recently released convict through the desert to reunite him with Kendall."

Daniel's Thoughts:

  • Welcome back to Veronica Mars.  Veronica’s in college now!
  • It’s really funny how Buffy’s & Veronica’s first college episodes are both about Freshman getting robbed of all their stuff.
  • “New School, Fresh Start – how about you try not to piss anyone off this time around.” 
  • Veronica is of course taking Intro to Criminology.
  • “Murder of the Riverboat Queen” – first assignment  - I was just on a riverboat queen!  (On the Mississippi from New Orleans to Memphis) 
There was a welcome band literally right outside my cabin

  • [But did you get murdered? - Z]
  • Of course, Veronica solves the case given to her by her professor in record time, but for some reason she sits there with a magazine just to be a douche?  Just to make the douchey assistant come up to her so she could make him look like a dick?  Or I guess to make the teacher ask her the question that would make her choose from the 50/50….still feels weird.  Feels like making enemies in her very first class.
  • So Veronica & Logan are together again… He tells Veronica that Dick is kind of a mess from what happened to his brother last year.  We’ll see how long that lasts.
  • Vinnie Van Lowe!  He wants to work with Keith.  Keith says no, but when Chekhov places a Vinnie Van Lowe in the first act, he will be fired off by the last act.
  • Veronica “the one handed self-portrait” – Do…You mean a selfie?  I guess that word wasn't invented yet?  Apparently not til 2013 
  • I’m glad that Veronica & Keith ended up going to NYC together this summer.
  • BACK-UP!
  • And we’re introduced to Piz – who is roommate to Wallace.
  • Oh no!  Piz’s things are gone!  Time to call in our teen detective.
  • Early 2000s nerd: "Frak"
  • So now we’re introduced to the season arc – at least part of the season.  And it’s a continuation from an episode last year where there was a serial rapist who was shaving the heads of the women they raped.
  • Mac is back and a regular!
  • And there’s Dick.  Looking good in a speedo, tbh – but also being a total…well…Dick.
  • I guess we’re not done with the Fitzpatricks. Oy.
  • Whoa, Veronica & Logan – hot and heavy.
  • Logan actually looks happy which is nice.
  • Deputy Sachs!  College doesn’t mean we have to stop seeing our regulars or our recurrings.
  • Hey, it’s Parker!  She was on another show right after Veronica Mars that I really liked her in.  It was called Eli Stone
  • OMG Veronica is wearing that thing on her arms that looks like sleeves of tattoos but are just…sleeves.  That was popular for like a year.

  • Dick has a run-in with Mac – and he’s of course…a dick.  Calling Mac Beav’s beard.  I know he's hurting but it's just cruel.
  • Oh Mac.  Veronica avoids breaking in by having Mac doing her a favor.
  • I mean, we realize Dick is acting like a dick because his world has exploded.  But how can you tell? Since he’s a total dick anyway. [yeah I'm not seeing a huge shift in his behavior from like any episode ever - Z]
  • I love Piz’s question to Veronica about why she does it – and she doesn’t really come up with a definitive answer.  I mean, her answer “because I’m good at it” is good enough – but of course, not the whole truth.
  • Veronica walks in on…something she doesn’t realize.  Parker is being raped…and Veronica thinks just regular college shenanigans are going on.
  • And bye bye Kendall.  Get home safe, Keith.
  • I’m glad they didn’t just drop Dick’s story.  I’m glad they followed through.  It’s crazy to feel sorry for such a dick…but.
  • And there it is – poor Parker….and our short season arc.

Zelda's Thoughts:

  • omg it's been so long!
  • First shot includes a Take Back the Night banner, because this is the rape season (even though every season is a rape around here)
  • Oh right Prof Landry and Tim isn't-he-also-Lucky Foyle
  • Prof Landry: "The current record for solving this case is 16 minutes, courtesy of the amazing Mr. Foyle." V's face: challenge accepted
  • And she looks up the answer online
  • Also her hair looks gorgeous this season.

  • I'd say she's unnecessarily dickish to Tim, but he was condescending and dickish to her first, so.
  • Hi emo college years credits. Also hi Sheriff Lamb in the credits (more importantly: HI MAC IN THE  CREDITS)
  • And Logan explains how contrivance managed to get all our friends from Neptune High into Hearst, our convenient university
  • It's interesting that we're sitting on answering the questions left open by the end of last season, esp regarding Keith.
  • "I hate you." // "You love me." // "Yeah but it's all instinct."
  • "Did you make any friends?" // "Lord no." // "Enemies?" // "...." Ah Keith knows Veronica so well.
  • Man I'm jealous of the layout of Wallace and Piz's dorm room and I want to steal it.
  • Gasp! Piz's stuff got stolen! We've got our case of the week!
  • And we've got our instacrush, because Veronica is a knockout.
  • The RA uses loose tea, plays string instrumental, and uses Battlestar Gallactica slang. Man, to be a student again.
  • Boo, there's another woman with a shaved head. This is jumping way ahead, but it's kind of amazing the rapist gets caught, considering how many get away with it.
  • MAC. HI MAC.
  • and hi Dick
  • wheeeee V and Logan are doin' it because they're all adultish now
  • also I cannot remember why Keith and Cormac are on a road trip except I think it has something to do with Kendall and her Pulp Fiction briefcase?
  • Oh look Dick's being a dick to Mac. "My little brother never cared about you. You were just his beard." Fuck you very much and why are you on this show.
  • The clothes V brings for Piz -- are they Duncan's?
  • Ugh the male gaze in this episode. Sure, V calls it out with "you two have fun being gross" but it's just so THICK and I'm just tired
  • gasp! Veronica volunteering for mentoring was just to get into the records for the dude with the guitar! It's all so convoluted
  • aw and Logan's being very sweet with Veronica my shippppppppppppppppp

  • and rando guy is beating up Dick, for unspoken reason ... not surprised
  • And Logan recognizes that Piz is wearing Duncan's shirt (dang, this transcript points out that Logan has also borrowed this shirt. that thing gets around!).
  • Wow, I'd half remembered that guitar guy was part of the crime conspiracy, but I'd forgotten the three nimrod teens were part of it too. The deflection of the chubby-blonde-who's-actually-skinny, etc., was a well-functioning red herring.
  • So this whole road trip was just delivering Cormac to Kendall? I...?
  • Oh right, Vinnie was tapping the whole convo. Vinnie, you shit.
  • ... did Logan just throw his toothbrush on the couch? like ... ew?
  • shoutout to V's old job at Java the Hut.
  • shit, Parker got raped :(
  • and so THAT story arc continues


Z: This ep is called Welcome Wagon
D: Oh this is the one where her stuff gets stolen
Z: Wait, what?
D: And then she has to go fight vampires!
Z: We need more variety in our TV.

Favorite Lines:

Daniel: Keith: All right, honey. Give Logan my regards as you're shaking his hand good night and I'll be sure to call unexpectedly again.
Zelda: Keith: "Did you make any friends?" Veronica: "Lord no." Keith: "Enemies?" Veronica: "...."


Neptune Roll Call: Logan, Wallace, Dick, Parker, Piz, Mac (Absent: Sheriff Don Lamb, Weevil)
First Appearance: Professor Hank Landry, Timothy Foyle, Piz, Cormac Fitzpatrick, Parker, Moe Flater, Nancy Cooper, Fern Delgado
Recurring: Vinnie Van Lowe, Deputy Jerry Sacks, Kendall Casablancas
Wait a Gosh-Dern Second: Yes, Tim Foyle is played by James Jordan, who also played Lucky last season. But, you know, different hair, so


Dead Humans - 1
Backup Sighting - 1
Veronica Breaks In - 0
Veronica Tases Someone - 0
Logan Tases Someone - 1
Mac Hacks - 0
Who's Your Daddy? - 0
Wallace Does Veronica a Favor - 0
Veronica Wants a Pony - 0
Logan Punches Someone - 0 
Dick's Single Entendres - 1 "I mean is this thing we feel real or are we just in it for the torso butter?"
Shenanigans Called - 0

Tuesday, October 2, 2018

Do You Smell Bacon, Season Two?

Series Stats:

Dead Humans - 21
Backup Sighting - 14
Veronica Breaks In - 16
Veronica Tases Someone - 3
Mac Hacks - 7
Who's Your Daddy? - 3
Wallace Does Veronica a Favor - 13
Weevil Does Veronica a Favor - 3
Leo Does Veronica a Favor - 3
Mac Does Veronica a Favor - 4
Cliff Does Veronica a Favor - 1
Veronica Wants a Pony - 3
Logan Punches Someone - 6
Dick's Single Entendres - 16
Shenanigans Called - 14

Season Two Stats (including comparison to previous season):

Dead Humans: 19 (+17)
Backup Sightings: 4 (-6)
Veronica Breaks In: 6 (-4)
(Keith Breaks In: 2 (+1))
Veronica Tases Someone: 2 (+1)
(Beaver Tases Someone: 3)
(Keith Tases Someone: 1)
Mac Hacks: 4 (+1)
Who's Your Daddy?: 0 (-3)
Wallace Does Veronica a Favor: 1 (-11)
Weevil Does Veronica a Favor: 0 (-3)
Leo Does Veronica a Favor: 0 (-3)
Mac Does Veronica a Favor: 0 (-4)
Cliff Does Veronica a Favor: 1 (+1)
(Veronica Does Weevil and Logan a Favor: 1)
Veronica Wants a Pony: 2 (+1)
Logan Punches Someone: 3 (=)
(Logan Kicks Weevil in the Head: 1)
(Jessie Punches Someone: 1)
Dick's Single Entendres: 12 (+8)
(Logan's Single Entendres: 4)
(Duncan's Single Entendres: 1)
Shenanigans Called: 7 (=)

Additional Stats

Absences: 52 total (Wallace 5, Duncan 10, Logan 0, Weevil 10, Dick 7, Beaver 10, Jackie 10)
New Recurring Characters: 40 total (Cute as a Bug Manager, Veronica's Other Job, Vincent "Butters" Clemmons, Kendall Casablancas, Gia Goodman, Woody Goodman, Terrence Cook, David "Curly" Moran, Richard Casablancas, Jane Kuhne, Mr. Pope, Nathan Woods, Stewart Manning, Rose Manning, Grace Manning, Cora Briggs, Michelle Thompson, Dr. Tom Griffith, Thumper, Deborah Hauser, Rodney Goodman, Mrs. Goodman, Danny Boyd, Liam Fitzpatrick, Principal Alan Moorehead, Ryan, Molly Fitzpatrick, Kelly Kuzzio, Astrid, Super Huge Deputy, Hannah Griffith, Leonard Lobo, Arturo, Chip Diller, Drew, Foreman, Marcos Oliveres, Lucky, Peter Ferrer, Ethan Lavoie)
Future Famous Person: 3 total (Krysten Ritter, Ari Graynor, Laura Bell Bundy)
Already/Past Famous Person: 6 total (Steve Guttenberg, Julie Chen, Kevin Smith, Joss Whedon, Michael Cera, Alia Shawkat)
Generally Known TV Face: 13 total (Cress Williams, Michael Kostroff, Christine Estabrook, Lucas Grabeel, Bradford Anderson, Michael Hyatt, Robert Maschio, Ivonne Coll, Lucy Xena Cylon Lawless, B.J. Britt, Jessy Schram, Kristin Cavallari, Matt Bush)
(New) Buffy Alum: 3 total (Charisma Carpenter (Cordelia Chase), Charles Duckworth (Glenn), Gil Birmingham (Peru Man from Inca Mummy Girl))
America's Next Top Model: 3 total (Naima Mora (Ms. Dumas), Kim Stolz (Stacy), Furonda Brasfield (Beverly Simms))
Famous Musician Cameo: 2 total (Courtney Taylor-Taylor (The Dandy Warhols), Britt Daniel (Spoon))
Logan's Nicknames: 11 total (Action (Duncan), Nurse Ratched (School Nurse), Zippy the Pinhead (Corny), Bessie (Kendall), Nip/Schmuck (Dr. Tom Griffith), Mars-wan Kenobi (Veronica), Rode Hard (Trina), Put Away Wet (Kendall), Mopey (Duncan), Angel of Mercy (Veronica), Princess (Hannah))
(Veronica's Nicknames: Sleazy (Logan))
(Sheriff Don Lamb's Nicknames: Brer Rabbit (Veronica))
Veronica's Alias: 13 total (Deputy Ann Shaughnessy, Dawn Lamb, assistant to the District Attorney, Curly Moran's niece whose name is coincidentally Veronica Mars, UCSD student with a flat tire, Vocational Ed Coordinator Mae Hadwell, Margot Schnell's friend, colleague of a jerkface, a version of Veronica that wants plastic surgery, Laurie Zachs, adult Veronica Mars P.I., UCLA rep, Gia Goodman)
Keith's Alias: 1 total (angry caller to tech support)
Cliff's Alias: 1 total (Amelia's distraught father)
Logan's Inspirational Greeting: 2 total ("To love and win is the best thing. To love and lose, the next best." - William M. Thackeray; "Life's tragedy is that we get old too soon and wise too late." - Ben Franklin)

While we've got a marked increase in dead bodies (thanks for that, Beaver) and in Dick's single entendres (being a regular instead of recurring helps with that), a lot of our other stats have dropped. We're tempted to blame the lower favor count on the fact that most of our regulars missed a fair amount of episodes (except for Logan, who has perfect attendance. Four for you, Logan Echolls). And it appears we got much stingier this time around with doling out VERONICA WAS RIGHT.

Zelda's Thoughts (with heavy cribbing of Daniel's Thoughts):
As Daniel pointed out several times, this show and this season have a high percentage of grown men sexualizing teen girls, and it's always been gross, and is increasingly hard to stomach in our current era. I think there's a lot of that that I definitely brushed off or ignored on my initial watch, not because I didn't think it was problematic as hell, but because it felt so ingrained in the culture and it's easier sometimes to numb yourself to the grossness. My more recent heightened awareness of this kind of mentality infiltrating way too much of media and society has definitely thrown a spotlight on it. And in light of what's currently going on in Washington, my god is the Aaron Echolls of it all just too much. And that's not even getting into the serial sexual assault perpetuated by Woody on all those young boys, and how deeply he scarred so many children. The world is full of monsters, and a number of them live in Neptune, California.

Context and internal raging aside, I still think the show is good, but that it never quite lives up to Season One, in terms of seasonal arc. All the work they put into V taking the bus bombing personally felt forced, as a means to get her as invested in solving the crime as she was in finding Lilly's killer. But perhaps I feel that because on our rewatch, I know just how little to do with V the crash was. And her obsession with it, as a result, waxed and waned as the episodes required, for whatever else was going on that week. And then, again as Daniel pointed out, the many hops and leaps in detectiving that Veronica made in the finale, without taking us along with her (until the showdown with Beaver), was less engaging because of how convoluted it was. With Lilly's killer, we followed her on that journey. With the bus crash, we had to run to keep up.

That being said, I still love the Mars family, and their dynamic is beautiful and performed by two stellar actors. (Also god bless the good ship #LoVe)

Wednesday, September 26, 2018

Close Your Eyes and Think of England

Episode 2.22: Not Pictured. Original Airdate 5.09.06 

"The second season ends as Veronica, on her graduation day, learns who is responsible for the bus crash. After uncovering the culprit, her life is endangered as she tries to warn those closest to the killer. Also, Wallace learns some surprising information about Jackie, Keith enlists Veronica's help in his ongoing investigation of Woody, and the seniors celebrate their graduation with a lavish party at the Neptune Grand."

Zelda's Thoughts:

  • fuck you Aaron Echolls. you're the worst and everyone hates you
  • "So this is how it is. The innocent suffer. The guilty go free. And truth and fiction are pretty much interchangeable. There is neither a Santa Claus nor an Easter Bunny, and there are no angels watching over us. And nothing makes any sense" We talked about this a bit in the comments for the last episode, but this is such a concise summing up of Veronica's (and the show's) world view. It's a very noir outlook, the cynicism, the lack of faith in law enforcement or the judicial process to actually achieve justice. That's why the Marses are P.I.s and that's why Veronica goes vigilante so much.
  • Okay it's time for me to change tacks and have a petty rant. Because this is making me too angry and V's hair looks great. What is it with TV shows that have a tough female lead, giving them too-short and not-always-flattering hairstyles, that almost instantly get undone as the shows go on, and by the end the hair is long and glamorous and red carpet ready? I'm thinking mainly of Stana Katic on Castle, but I know it happens a lot and it's dumb.
It's dumb. Source

  • omg the Mars faces. V's face, then Keith's when Vinnie calls on the phone.
  • Vinnie is awful, but Ken is the best.
  • oh man, V's face when Keith reads out that Woody has had chlamydia. Because Beaver got it from Woody and gave it to V ... Duncan needs to get his stuff checked out.
  • Oh man, V's graduation dream, so heartbreaking. They're in their old house, Lianne is there and she and Keith are happily married, Keith is still Sheriff. Duncan's still around, but interestingly, V's with Logan in this dream. And she doesn't know Wallace at all. That one hurts.
  • Though I am confused that not-as-cool-Wallace needs corrective lenses and our Wallace doesn't.
  • And there's our Lilly, alive and well, back from her first year at Vassar, but standing in front of her memorial fountain.

  • "Do you smell bacon?"
  • Keith and V, tracking down Woody.
  • V and Wallace's mom cheering loudly for Wallace as he walks across the stage at graduation.
  • Fuck. Fuck. They're arresting Weevil at graduation, in front of his family. And it's deliberately cruel timing. "Just let me graduate ... please don't do this, man."
  • It's not quite the same moment of Buffy's class protector, but everyone cheering loudly when Veronica's name is called (including Keith's beautifully proud papa moment) is very sweet.

  • Aw Keith didn't get V a pony, but he did buy her a trip to NYC. As a New Yorker, I agree, this is a great gift.
  • And now we reveal Jackie's true backstory I guess? She's a waitress in Brooklyn (which explains how she was so instantly good when she got the job at The Hut)
  • Aaron has the stones to come stay at the Neptune Grand. Just leave town, you shit.
  • Logan's his dependent again? Is Logan not 18 yet?
  • Go Keith! You found that shithead Woody!
  • Woody justifying how he molested those boys, thinking it means he cared about them. Gross gross gross gross.
  • And shit, Beaver saw V's text to Mac, trying to warn her, and he is luring her to the roof.
  • And on her way to the roof to meet a murderer, she shares an elevator with another murderer. Fuck you, Aaron Echolls, and your mustache twirling shittiness.
  • I wish V had been recording his out and out confession just now. At least I know Clarence Wiedman will fix this.
  • Wow, why is Beaver pretending he murdered Mac with his "better place" nonsense? Is that just to make sure V thinks he's not kidding around?
  • I do like how the season finales on this show always bring back literally everyone we've seen all season. Even if it involves Beaver plowing a car into Curly Moran and killing him, after the PCHers beat him up.
  • I hate that it turns out V was raped after all, when they sort of undid it last season.
  • What's really frustrating about Beaver's turn here is the unrepentant and seeming indiscriminate nature to Beaver's kills. The other ones felt more pointed, but now it's just killing anyone. Actually no, I take it back. He killed a lot of people on the bus, just to silence Peter and Marcos. Fuck Beaver. I guess I will still complain that we had very little hint of this, because it's one thing to ruthlessly orchestrate his father leaving the country; it's quite another to rape people, kill a bunch of people, and feel no remorse. And his molestation from Woody doesn't cover all that, or excuse any of it. At least with Aaron last season, we had clues from the beginning of how violent he was, and how sexually loose he was. This feels more like a deliberate twist of the villain where we least suspected one.
  • I don't want to interrupt this very tense and scary scene, with Logan fighting Beaver, but that roof set looks almost as fake as The Room's roof set. 

We're totally on a roof. That's totally really the outside, and
these are totally skylights to the building that's totally
below us.

  • and V's ready to shoot Beaver. "You're not a killer, Veornica. Give me the gun." Logan's as scared as she is.
  • "Beaver, don't!" // "My name is Cassidy." // "Cassidy, don't."  // "Why not?" And Logan can't give him a reason. "That's what I thought."
  • And Beaver is dead. Good riddance.
  • Mac is alive, thank goodness, but she's so confused and scared. "He took my clothes. He took everything. Why?" And V just holds her as they both cry.
  • Ew Kendall and Aaron. Ew.
  • Wow so I guess Kendall will come out of the shower to a super dead Aaron because HE'S SUPER DEAD.
  • Thanks Clarence Wiedman.
  • Daniel: "Hey Duncan. Get tested. Get your baby tested."
  • Not a bad farewell to Duncan, all things considered: nice moment in a dream sequence, and he exacts revenge for his sister's killer. And then hangs out in Australia.
  • And a good farewell to Jackie too, as she takes responsibility for her life.
  • I love the visual parallel to the beginning of the season, with V passed out in Logan's lap.

  • And Logan quietly lets himself out when the Marses reunite.
  • And Kendall inherited Beaver's company. Welp.
  • Interesting that there's almost no follow up on Aaron's murder.
  • Man, this is the weirdest cliffhanger for the season though: Kendall and her mysterious Quentin Tarantino briefcase, and Keith doesn't meet V at the airport. It's weird. it's just weird. I love this show, but that is a weirdass final moment.
  • it is kind of funny to think about it, though - our big villains from the first two seasons are all dead: Aaron, Woody, Beaver. The Fitzpatricks are still kicking, and I think they have something to do in S3, but we're mostly tying up a lot of loose ends (aside from the weirdass cliffhanger). So we can go into season three with a mostly wiped slate.

Daniel's Thoughts:

  • We begin where we left off.  Aaron Echolls is giving a speech outside of the courtroom to the press and all his fans.  And people are cheering that a murderous statutory rapist and assaulter is not being prosecuted.  It’s so sick.  It's so apropos of today.  And yesterday.  And probably tomorrow.
  • Aww poor Wallace.
  • Yay! Vinnie Van Lowe made the season finale.
  • Oops, Vinnie’s in jail.
  • Woody’s got Chlamydia (still not a flower, Gia – ask your dad)
  • Aww, Lianne in a dream scene.  In a dream sequence, her parents are together, her dad’s Sheriff,  Duncan is still here, she’s dating Logan – and she’s never met Wallace.  That last part is weird.  It’s bizarro world. But here’s the best part.  Lilly is there…standing in front of a memorial for herself.  What an odd dream.  But it was nice to see Lilly back for a little bit. 
  • Veronica doing an impression of Gia is scarily good.
  • Haha, “I checked Google Earth”. 
  • Wallace Fennell graduates!  And aww, his mom is there.  We haven’t seen her in a while.
  • And fucking Lamb.  He can’t wait ten minutes until Weevil walks across the stage?
  • That is so damn sad.
  • Cindy Mac MacKenzie is a couple of people before Veronica Mars..alphabetically, so they get to chat during graduation.  Cool coincidence.
  • “I can’t decide if my life is going to be easier or more difficult” – Aww, Mr. Van Clemmons.
  • Why is Dick not graduating? 
  • Awww, Wallace flew to Paris to be with Jackie…except…
  • Jackie is in Brooklyn working at a diner.
  • Veronica figures all this out because…well, she’s Veronica…and sends Jackie to JFK  for his layover – except…post-9-11, Jackie wouldn’t be able to meet him there….unless she buys a ticket. (She did.)
  • Ugh, Woody’s excuses for molesting children – it’s just so …I can’t listen to this.
  • I forgot that Woody owns a fast food chain.  A lot of people are going to be out of a job, soon.
  • And finally, Veronica sees who also might be a victim of Woody’s: Beaver.  But why does she think he’s dangerous?
  • I don’t want to feel sorry for Beav but a child molester monster destroyed his life.  Again, it doesn’t excuse the things he’s done.
  • And like she didn’t have enough to do – here’s Aaron Echolls in an elevator rubbing it in.
  • And ‘Veronica was right’ but I still don’t understand how she figured it out.
  • Ok, so she put together about 100 different things that I didn’t notice – and that’s why she knew it was Beaver.  That’s why she’s the private detective and not me.
  • Oh wow, and he killed Curly too.   And wrote “Veronica Mars” on his hand.  It’s all coming together!
  • And the 2 year long mystery of who raped Veronica Mars is answered as well, but it feels a bit thrown in and convenient…
  • Wow, Beaver has murdered a lot of people.  Eight people on the bus, Curly – and now a bunch of people on a plane …including what may be Keith.  Can he be classified as a serial killer or a mass murderer?  Probably the latter.
  • And Veronica gets tased…twice.
  • And poor Mac.  “He took my clothes, he took everything.”  She doesn’t even know the half of it.
  • Wowww, and Duncan’s the one who hired Wiedman to kill Aaron Echolls.  So that’s two creeps we’ll never see again which is kinda cool.
  • And Jackie bought a ticket to get in to see Wallace.  And she has a son? What?
  • It’s the next day and Veronica still thinks Keith is dead.
  • But he’s not! Surprise!
  • Wow, And  Cordelia is getting away with a lot of cash.
  • Keith: “Carol Channing’s still alive, isn’t she?”  12 years later, still true.
  • Aww, and Logan & Veronica are kissing.  When did this happen?  When he saved her life I guess?

Veronica: And pepper spray, for if we run into that Trump character.
D & Z: *simultaneous gasp and scream of horror*

Favorite Lines:
Daniel: “I can’t decide if my life is going to be easier or more difficult." - Principal Van Clemmons on the graduation of Veronica Mars
Zelda: "Do you smell bacon?" - Dream Lilly

Neptune Roll Call: Wallace, Duncan (gasp!), Logan, Weevil, Dick, Beaver, Jackie (Absent: NO ONE. GOLD STARS ALL AROUND)
Recurring: Aaron Echolls, Sheriff Don Lamb, Mac, Vinnie Van Lowe, Lilly Kane, Lilly's memorial fountain, Clarence Wiedman, Lianne Mars, Marcos Oliveres, Peter Ferrer, Alicia Fennel, Kendall Casablancas, Woody Goodman, Principal Van Clemmons, Corny, David "Curly" Moran
Veronica's Alias: Gia Goodman

Dead Humans - 5
Backup Sighting - 0
Veronica Breaks In - 0
Veronica Tases Someone - 0
Beaver Tases Veronica - 2
Beaver Tases Logan - 1
Keith Tases Someone - 1
Mac Hacks - 0
Who's Your Daddy? - 0
Wallace Does Veronica a Favor - 0
Veronica Wants a Pony - 1 

Logan Punches Someone - 0 (it's more a tackle fight than a punching fight)
Dick's Single Entendres - 0
Shenanigans Called - 0

Monday, September 17, 2018

Elementary, My Dear Wallace

Episode 2.21: Happy Go Lucky. Original Airdate 5.02.06

"As Aaron Echolls's trial is about to conclude, tensions rise as Veronica, Keith and Logan take the witness stand to testify against him. Meanwhile, after Veronica finds a suspicious e-mail in Woody's computer, Keith turns to Lamb with evidence to arrest Woody, but Lamb refuses, believing that Keith is trying to turn him into a laughing stock. Also, to everyone's surprise, Lucky brings a gun into school with the intent to find Gia."

Daniel's Thoughts:

  • And it’s time for Aaron Echoll’s trial.  And he’s totally playing it up for the jury and they’re totally buying it.
  • Wow, and he’s really claiming that he didn’t have sex with Lilly.  Follow-up from the previous episode when lawyer asked Veronica about his relationship with Lilly.
  • Duncan is being set-up and he’s not even here to defend himself.
  • “Easy Going Veronica Mars – that’s what the kids at school call me.”
  • It’s nice that they remember that Gia & Veronica are in health class together.
  • Also, it’s nice to finally see Veronica actually studying – the thing I always get on her case about.
  • Oh crap.  Gun shots.  It’s Lucky The Janitor.
  • And good-guy without a gun, Wallace tackles Lucky to the ground.  He shoots at Wallace, but the gun is full of blanks.  The security guard’s aren’t.  He shoots Lucky dead and fuck, this is going to be really traumatic for the kids at Neptune High.
  • “Nobody likes a blonde in a Hamster Ball.”
  • “Why should you break in when I’m invited?” – This should be on the Mars family crest.
  • They’re actually showing Jackie a lot these finally few episodes.  That’s nice.
  • Oh hey, it’s Beaver.  I mean, they should show him once or twice before the finale.
  • Aww, MySpace mention.  Remember them?  I’m so old I used to be on Friendster.
  • And we/Veronica finally sees how Woody Goodman is a really horrid person…and how he might be connected to the bus crash.  Except Veronica doesn’t recognize the voices yet.
  • And Veronica is being sworn in.  This is always nerve-wracking.

  • And the prosecutor is totally slut-shaming Veronica now, and the judge is allowing it and it’s totally gross.
  • Aww, Mac is helping out Weevil and Beav – even though neither of them really deserve it – especially Beav.
  • I don’t really understand why Keith is going to Woody with this before going to the police.
  • I know I’m late to the game of realizing this – but has Jackie been living by herself for like the last six months with no guardian?
  • Damn, they’re really trying to tarnish Veronica’s reputation to get Aaron off and it’s really super gross.
  • “If I get you an A, will you shiv him?” - Mac
  • “Is your ego really that enormous that you can turn the murder of 8 people about you?”  - Yeah that pretty much sums up Lamb.
  • I love the Weevil passing Algebra is a major plotpoint in the penultimate episode of Season 2.
  • And oh no.  Just as Weevil passes Algebra, he’s being pegged in a crime.
  • Wallace: “It was worth getting taped to a pole…”  Awww.
  • Instead of starting her final, Veronica books it to the trial.  Which is very irresponsible of her…considering how important getting the Kane scholarship is to her.  There’s no need for her to be at the trial.   And especially to find out that Aaron has been acquitted on all counts.

Zelda's Thoughts:

  • We open on Aaron Echolls. We open on talking garbage.
  • AND HE IS LYING. LYING. lying sack of shit, claiming he never had sex with Lilly, claiming he broke up with her, saying Duncan "probably" killed her. I hate him, I hate him so much.
  • I thought witnesses weren't allowed to watch other people's testimony if they haven't testified yet? Did I make that up? Is that just something I mistakenly picked up from other TV shows?
  • V has everything riding on acing her finals so she can get the Kane scholarship and go to Stanford. Since we know the future, we know this will somehow go wrong. She walks out on a final or something, right? Something heartbreaking.
  • Shit, I forgot about the gun. Fuck. This is. This is not something good. And probably not something they would be able to do like this now, with the frightening increase in school shootings.
  • Shit, and when Lucky aims the gun at Wallace after Wallace tackled him. Fucking terrifying.
  • And then the school guard shoots Lucky dead.
  • I don't have anything funny to say.
  • Woody reveals that Lucky was a bat boy for something or other - a clue to the ultimate reveal
  • Woody's password is "mrgoodwood" ew ew
  • Rando: Hey Veronica. // V: Hey ... you. // Rando: Hart. // V & Me: yeah we've never seen this dude before (except IMDB says he's been on the show before, so--ah, he's the one who had the film of Logan's mother jumping off the bridge)
  • gasp V found an audio recording, of the boys talking about what Woody did to them! if only we can figure out the voices on the recording
  • Also why was the subject heading about preventing the incorporation? Is this really just about Beaver's company?
  • Woody, being the Uber Creeper "Are you as smart as you think you are?"
  • I'm amazed he's being chill (well except for the creeperness) with V, considering what's been going on between him and Keith
  • Ohhh the one who sent the tape edited himself out of the tape
  • EW EW EW EW EW Aaron is claiming Veronica propositioned him? EW EW EW EW
  • I do like that V figured out how to help both Beaver and Weevil with their problems - scratched car and passing Algebra - and matchmade them. Although ... they're not gelling well.
  • But Mac chimes in and is the best and I love her hi Mac please become a season regular.
  • ew though this is also so she and Beaver can rekindle, just so we can hurt her more
  • "I'm not a fifteen year old boy, Woody. You don't scare me." man I can't wait for Woody to go down.
love Keith so much

  • Aw Terrence is finally free! Thanks Leonard Lobo!
  • Oh but Lobo is here to tell us just how he wants his thanks. With Terrence glad handing all his casino patrons for the next decade, until his debt is repaid
  • I just. I don't understand this and I never will. I don't understand why they don't get to testify to what they saw, but instead are told what lies Aaron said, and are asked questions as if that were the fact. It makes me want to vomit.
  • And I hate that this shithead Lavoie provoked Keith enough that he assaults him in court.
  • GASP V figured out that it's not the bat boys for the Sharks that Woody assaulted (well, not just them), but also Woody's little league team also called the Sharks - and several of the bus crash victims were players.
  • I'm confused. It seems like Jackie's also lying to Terrence about the Sorbonne (knowing the future is rough). Wouldn't he know she can't afford it, and that she'd actually just be going back to her mom? Or was that not a lie, and she was going to go to the Sorbonne before Terrence lost his fame and fortune?
  • And then fucking Lamb, embarrassed several times over when trying to find the person who caused the bus crash, won't act on Keith's evidence that Woody is a serial predator and could also be the one behind the bus crash (though he isn't).
  • Oh man, Weevil just wants to to pass algebra, make his grandma proud.
  • And just in time, the boys who saw Weevil when he knocked out Thumper have come forward, now that Thumper's remains have been found.
  • "You better enjoy this, because this is as nostalgic as I get. I just wanted to say, it was worth getting taped to a pole. Gonna miss ya." // "And my stupid ass face?" Aw babies.

  • And now it's time for V to sabotage her final exam and a chance at the scholarship and Stanford - because she wants to see the verdict in person. And it's the wrong verdict. I hate this. Everything is garbage.
  • Meanwhile, Woody fled on a private plane.
  • BUT SERIOUSLY HOW DID AARON NOT GET CONVICTED FOR ANYTHING. Even putting aside his tap dancing evidence around Lilly, he assaulted both Marses. 


D: We should have had a stat for how many grown men sexually objectify teenage girls. It happens so much on this show.
Z: But then our stats would break.
D: It's so gross.

Favorite Lines:

Daniel: Easy Going Veronica Mars – that’s what the kids at school call me.  - Veronica

Zelda: "It was worth getting taped to a pole." - Wallace


Neptune Roll Call: Wallace, Logan, Weevil, Beaver, Jackie (Absent: Duncan, Dick)
Recurring: Aaron Echolls, Ethan Lavoie, Gia Goodman, Lucky, Woody Goodman, Mrs. Goodman, Terrence Cook, Hart, Sheriff Don Lamb, Deputy Jerry Sacks, Leonard Lobo, Mac, Rodney Goodman


Dead Humans - 1
Backup Sighting - 0
Veronica Breaks In - 0
Veronica Tases Someone - 0
Mac Hacks - 0
Who's Your Daddy? - 0
Wallace Does Veronica a Favor - 0
Veronica Wants a Pony - 0
Logan Punches Someone - 0
Dick's Single Entendres - 0
Shenanigans Called - 0

Tuesday, August 28, 2018

Marshmallows and Promises

Episode 2.20: Look Who's Stalking. Original Airdate 4.25.06

"Gia is convinced she's being stalked, so Veronica takes the case despite her dad's orders not to get involved, but what she discovers not only shocks both girls, but leads to further questions. Meanwhile, Woody enlists Keith's help in avoiding a scandal when he ends up with a passed-out woman in his motel room. Also, when Principal Clemmons cancels the prom because of drinking violations on the senior trip, Logan takes it upon himself to throw an "alterna-prom" in his Neptune Grand suite."

Zelda's Thoughts:

  • Oh right. Veronica has chlamydia. That's a thing they decided to do. Also, fuck you Beaver
  • Wallace and Jackie are being adorable at least.
  • Poor Mac. But on the plus side, two Mac eps in a row! yay!
  • Clemmons cancelled prom. Mac: "Yes! Prayer works!"
  • Woody, you are the worst of the worst and I don't believe anything you're saying about the unconscious girl in your motel bed.
  • I wish Keith wasn't helping him. Especially since it's gonna bite him in the ass later.
  • Headcanon that Gia coming to ask for Veronica's help with her stalker is what sends her on her path to becoming Jessica Jones, P.I. Especially since it's about stalking
  • "Like Trouble with a capital T that rhymes with C that stands for--" // "Veronica."
  • Keith singsonging "I don't believe you" is my favorite
  • Gia: "I feel like at any moment Tom Cruise is gonna dangle from the ceiling on cables." // V: "Great. Now I won't be able to sleep." And THEN: "There! That's the car. Isn't it totally nondescript?" // "That's a 2002 silver Gallant." man, the banter this ep
  • gasp! it's Leo's car. oh right, this plot
  • "There was this one girl. She was blonde, petite, smelled of marshmallows and promises." // "Promises - that's the name of my perfume!" my ship, it is flirting

  • Logan's throwing an alternaprom! I wonder if he'll drunkenly confess that he still loves Veronica and deliver a speech about epicness.
  • Yep, Woody's pretending the unconscious girl was Keith's fault. He's the worst, and we don't even know the full extent of his worstness yet.
  • Wuh oh. Another stalkery dvd of the Goodman family. Whatcha doing, Beaver?
  • hahahah now Corny knows about alternaprom and it will therefore be the best
  • it's kind of sweet that Jackie and Terrence finally seem to have some kind of relationship
  • Veronica to Gia, who got the other video camera: "You just might have a future in this racket." FORESHADOWING
  • "Woody's scared of something, and he's lying about it, and it's serious." You have no idea, Keith.
  • oh look it's our friendly janitor Lucky! and he drives a red pickup truck! gasp a la gasp!
  • Lucky to Gia: "I know your dad, you know." sigh
  • time for the partay!
  • Logan's in white, Veronica's in black, and Logan is giggling nervously at her. Methinks our ship is returning to port. Or is it that the ship is sailing again? One of the things.

  • It is tiiiiiiime for the scene. "I thought our story was epic, you know? You and me ... Spanning years and continents. Lives ruined, bloodshed, epic. But summer's almost here. And we won't see each other at all. Then you'll leave town, then ... it's over ..."
  • And he finally apologizes for what a douche he became over the summer.
  • Jason Dohring, acting the shit out of this, holding back tears, drunk but earnest. "No one writes songs about the ones that come easy."
  • And V almost lets him kiss her, but then she runs away.
  • sigh. And Terrence Cook's rep is officially destroyed, with a headline outing when he threw the game
  • And now it's time for Kristen Bell to break our hearts, as Logan breaks hers.
  • Oh man, Logan's face, confused and worried and hungover and scared - he claims he doesn't remember but we find out later he does. But also he hooked up with Kendall after V fled.
  • Everybody cry.

Daniel's Thoughts: 

  • Holy crap.  Veronica has Chlamydia which is not a flower, Gia.
  • It’s Prom time at Neptune High.  Except, oops – Prom got  cancelled.  At least Mac is happy.  Veronica has no horse in this race.
  • Woody got caught with a (female) dead prostitute?
  • Aww, Gia is so dumb.  She doesn’t get Veronica’s irony.
  • Who belongs to those sexy legs in Keith’s office.  It’s Charisma Cordelia Casablancs Banks Chase. [Hey, her name is my name, too! - Z]
  • We should have statted how many times Veronica uses “school project” as a lie/excuse.
  • “How very Mission Impossible.  I feel like any moment Tom Cruise is gonna dangle from the ceiling on cables” “Great. Now I won't be able to sleep. I hope he doesn't try to marry me.”
  • Gia’s a total fan of Veronica Mars.  She’s in awe.  Gia is all of us.
  • Leo D’Amato!  “Greek Italian” according to Veronica.  Nah, Max Greenfield is my Jewish Boyfriend.
  • I still find it weird that half of these ‘regulars’ are never in the show.
  • ‘Alterna-Prom’ isn’t usually made by the rich kids – it’s usually about gay kids who aren’t allowed to bring dates to their proms.
  • So Leo’s no longer a cop, because he stole evidence….so now personal security
  • “Cute in a tough mumbly kinda way” – That’s our Leo!  (also totally my type.)  That should be my Tinder Profile title: Billy Eichner type ISO Max Greenfield type.
  • Wallace wants to go to the batting cages instead of Prom.  What?
  • Veronica to Gia “You might have a future in this racket”   She has about ten years. *spoilers*
  • Dick’s going STAG to alterna-prom.  What happened to Madison?
  • “Woody’s scared about something and he’s lying about it” – Yep.
  • Aww, this is the second time Veronica’s calling Keith for help.  It’s nice to see them working together.
  • “Do you want to see something freaky?”  If a strange guy asks you that?  The answer is always no.
  • Oh there’s Madison.
  • Lol. Corny’s wearing a tuxedo shirt.

  • I really dig the white tux on Logan.
  • “I know it’s weird to force someone to go to prom with you.”  Um, ‘weird’ isn’t the word I'd use.  The sentiment is nice.  Mac and Butters are both weird folk and maybe in this crazy world -  Nope.  It’s just wrong.
  • Kristen Bell & Jason Dohring can show so much without words.  It’s nice.  The flirtation is great between them.
  • “I thought our story was epic, you know.  You and me.”  Everyone remembers this Logan line.
  • “You really think a relationship should be that hard?” “No one writes songs about the ones that are easy” – another great Logan line.  
  • Aww, Jackie & Wallace are gonna do it.
  • Lucky was just about to spill the beans on Woody Goodman – and of course Lamb had to ruin it.
  • Logan is hungover when Veronica comes to visit him after thinking about things.  And Logan is shirtless opening his penthouse door and of course someone will be there…  It’s Kendall of course.  But what’s worse is Logan doesn’t remember all the nice things he said the night before.
  • Veronica crying is the saddest.


D: Oh no, it's Leo! He's stalking Gia?
Z: I think he's been hired to look after her.
D: Dont' spoil it! I haven't seen it!
Z: ... yes you have!

D: But I don't remember things!

Gia: I just don't get you people!
D: "You people"?
Z: Blondes.

Favorite Lines 

Zelda: "I thought our story was epic, you know? You and me ... Spanning years and continents. Lives ruined, bloodshed, epic. But summer's almost here. And we won't see each other at all. Then you'll leave town, then ... it's over ..." - Logan (I couldn't not)
Daniel: Gia:
“How very Mission Impossible.  I feel like any moment Tom Cruise is gonna dangle from the ceiling on cables” Veronica: “Great. Now I won't be able to sleep. I hope he doesn't try to marry me.”


Neptune Roll Call: Wallace, Logan, Dick, Jackie (Absent: Duncan, Weevil, Beaver)
Recurring: Mac, Woody Goodman, Gia Goodman, Leo D'Amato, Rodney Goodman, Lloyd Blankenship, Corny, Terrence Cook, Mr. Wu, Lucky, Sheriff Don Lamb, Madison Sinclair, Vincent "Butters" Clemmons, Kendall Casablancas


Dead Humans - 0
Backup Sighting - 0
Veronica Breaks In - 0
Veronica Tases Someone - 0
Mac Hacks - 0
Who's Your Daddy? - 0
Wallace Does Veronica a Favor - 0
Veronica Wants a Pony - 0
Logan Punches Someone - 0
Dick's Single Entendres - 1 "Speaking of pork, wanna meet my hog?"
Shenanigans Called - 0

Tuesday, August 21, 2018

Stupid Fake Deer Faces

Episode 2.19: Nevermind the Buttocks. Original Airdate 4.18.06

"Veronica looks for a dog killer after being hired by a student whose pet was ran over, and Keith discovers surprising revelations about Kendall's past. Meanwhile, Weevil learns that the Fitzpatricks are abusing his old gang members, and Jackie applies for a job at Java the Hut and asks Veronica to put in a good word for her. Wallace tries to get back together with Jackie, but she gives him some heartbreaking news."

Daniel's Thoughts:

  • So Veronica is being questioned by lawyers.  It’s nice to know that this whole story didn’t end just because Aaron was arrested.  I mean, I'd like it to end and go away forever, sure, but it's more realistic because these things tend to go on forever.
  • Aww, I can’t believe they’re making students feed mice to snakes.  I would protest.
  • True story: I almost told my biology teacher I couldn’t dissect a frog.  But then I did it anyway because I was non-combative in school. 
  • Aww, Mac got something taken away in a locker check.  But also, what the hell is a cell phone interceptor? Is that a real thing?
  • “He changed his lock? Man, he’s gotten paranoid.” Lol.
  • Principal whathisface’s son is named “Vincent”….that’s two Vinnies on this show. 
A Tale of Two Vinnies

  • Crap, Veronica didn’t tell Mac  about the deal that she’d have to go to the dance with Butters in exchange for getting her cell phone interceptor back.
  • Thumper ref – “He must be crushed” – Weevil…   ohhhhh.  Except we’re not sure if Weevil knew what exactly happened to Thumper.
  • After all they’ve been through, I can’t believe Veronica is accusing Weevil of putting a bomb on the bus.
  • Aww.  There’s a lot of dog related mysteries on this show.  I love that not only does Veronica have a dog, but she’s very empathetic to those who have lost theirs.  Dogs rule! (Cats drool).
  • Jackie comes into view and I’m like, “who is…” Oh.  That’s Jackie.  She got her hair straightened.  This feeds into my theory of I don’t recognize people who change their hair. [It's true. Two years ago I went from dark brunette to platinum blonde and he still doesn't know who I am. - Z]
  • “Logan may be a little fuzzy on the commandments.”
  • And now Kendall’s a suspect?  Well, with four episodes left, everyone’s a suspect.
  • And Jessica Jones is here!  And someone mooned her.
  • Ooh, and she reveals that her dad called her moments before the crash to see where she was.  It seems innocuous & unimportant at the time…but…
  • The guy Veronica is helping seems like kind of a psycho.  Either that, or he just loved his dog very much.
  • So Kendall used to be Priscilla Banks.  What will this lead to?
  • Jackie’s got accepted to the Sorbonne in Paris...she says.  Which is great considering we’ve never seen her have an affinity for or interest in cooking.  But…I guess we know she won’t be in season 3.
  • Uh oh.  Keith’s investigation led him to the same place as Veronica’s. And it’s a good thing she called him – uncharacteristically, I might add – because she might have saved his life.
  • And also, uh oh – it’s a Fitzpatrick.
  • Holy shit – good thing the gun wasn’t loaded. I mean, how did Veronica know to take the bullets out? 
  • Also – Holy shit – it’s Kendall Priscilla Cordelia Banks Casablancas Schifflett Chase. [aka Lameass Made Up Entire Name Casablancas - Anya]
  • Weevil’s ex-crew vs The Fitzpatrick crew – there’s gonna be a rumble tonighttttt.
  • Come on, Weevil – come through.  I know you’re on your way.  Hey, there he is!  Weevil to the rescue!

Zelda's Thoughts:

  • I'd say "oh good we're finally getting back to Aaron Echolls's case" but I know the future and it makes me angry.
  • "Statutory rape is a grave accusation." // "Not to a murderer."
  • Oh right, the current Mars theory is that Kendall was trying to take out the Casablancas kids on the bus for the life insurance.
  • Weevil, pointedly: "I got no problem sacrificing a rat." Okay so that entire scene of him feeding the live rat to the class python, which of course is a thing a high school class would have, just so we could have a completely subtle and not at all hamhanded allusion to what he did to Thumper
  • "Please respect the business model, Veronica. I do the gadgets, you do the actual espionage." Aw you guys, this time Veronica's doing Mac a favor.
  • Gasp! Clemmons changed his lock, so we don't even get a Veronica Breaks In stat (don't worry, we get one when she breaks into the garage of Cataract Lady)
  • oh riiiiiiight Vincent/Butters has a crush on Mac. And Veronica just volunteers her as his prom date? Like without asking? I don't care if Mac and Beaver are on the outs (actually I'm thrilled about it), but you don't do that to your friend.
  • And then she didn't even give Mac a heads up.
  • And then she accuses Weevil of blowing up the bus. V is batting a thousand today.
  • Okay, fine, there are two reasons for that pointed rat-feeding scene - V's using it as evidence that he's the one who put the dead rat on the bus.
  • Ugh I hate when Weevil and Veronica are on the outs. Especially because it's almost always with Veronica incorrectly accusing Weevil of criminal activity. (though, to be fair, while he didn't kill Thumper, he did frame him knowing the Fitzpatricks would almost certainly kill him. But that doesn't mean he blew up the bus)
  • you guys WHAT THE FUCK. Neptune High's movie club is having an Aaron Echolls marathon. 
yellow flier in the top left corner

  • Oh right, this is the Jackie-working-at-The-Hut plotline
  • You know what, Wallace, eff this. Demanding that he'll be platonic friends with Jackie only if she stops being attractive, basically. And then he piles on with talking about how her dad's in jail for the bus crash. What the eff is wrong with Wallace this season? Is he turning into our Xander?
  • Man, Veronica's Case of the Week - who killed this rando's dog - really does feel like the least interesting piece of this episode, leveled against Weevil's drama, the impending Echolls trial, Keith and Veronica working on the bus case, even Jackie needing a job. The potential for it to tie in to the bus crash - that Gia saw the car right before the bus went off the cliff - feels like the only reason it might not be a complete waste of time.
  • Le gasp! Cordelia Chase stole the identity of Kendall Casablancas. Her real name is Priscilla Banks and she has a history of wire fraud. Oh right, the thing where she pretends to be a lot dumber than she is.
  • Oh good, Veronica and Weevil have made up, with Weevil explaining everything.
  • It's a very cute touch that Weevil still calls Keith "Sheriff." Goes along with Keith always calling Weevil by his first name, Eli. And I guess a future nod to the fact that he'll be the only one to not call Piz Piz.

  • And Wallace is behaving better too, telling Jackie he'll back off if she's truly not interested in him.
  • You guys, the driver of the mysterious green car is wearing a claddagh ring. IS IT ANGEL. (No, they just want to make sure we know he's Irish)
  • Okay, I guess I forgive the boring "find the car" plot since it does tie into Keith investigating Not!Kendall, who, it turns out, is now in bed with the Fitzpatricks. You know. That crime family that has a finger in every pie even though we've never heard of them until this season. Also Kendall has a secret house, for funsies.
  • "His gun wasn't loaded." // "If you wouldn't've hung up on me, I could have told you." my beautiful Marses
  • "Your wish is my shift-command."
  • gasp! the younger brother of my-dog-is-dead rando is a PCHer and getting beaten by the Fitzpatricks. Okay, I did have a small memory that the dead dog was a red herring, and it was actually about siccing Veronica on Liam Fitzpatrick, so I guess it's okay that the starter part of that plot was boring, since we're moving toward the finale and it's time to tie things together in one big celtic knot (I am the worst) (especially since the Fitzpatricks have jack to do with the bus crash)
  • But good news, Weevil wrests control of the PCHers back from the Fitzpatricks, and hopefully their drug dealing escapades are at an end.
  • They just revealed that Kendall has always been in league with the Fitzpatricks (partners with imprisoned Cormac Fitzpatrick) and I just ... it's silly. The Fitzpatrick stuff is silly. Yes, the violence they perpetuate is scary, but the conspiracy stuff surrounding them is hard for me to take seriously.
  • Le SIIIIIIIIIGH. Duncan's hair, which Kendall stole fifteen thousand years ago, has resurfaced on Aaron's Oscar statue (also HAHA AARON ECHOLLS WON AN OSCAR OKAY SURE)
  • Do we think, with one-off rando Harry's weapon fixation, that they actually wanted this plotline to involve Norris Clayton from last season? He was definitely more compelling than this guy.

Favorite Lines:
Daniel: "He changed his lock? Man, he's gotten paranoid." -Veronica Voiceover
Zelda: "Your wish is my shift-command." - Mac

Neptune Roll Call: Wallace, Logan, Weevil, Jackie (Absent: Duncan, Dick, Beaver)
First Appearance: Ethan Lavoie
Recurring: Cliff McCormack, Mac, Vincent "Butters" Clemmons, Cute as a Bug Manager, Gia Goodman, Hector, Liam Fitzpatrick, Kendall Casablancas
Generally Known TV Face: Matt Bush

Dead Humans - 0
Backup Sighting - 0
Veronica Breaks In - 1
Veronica Tases Someone - 0
Mac Hacks - 1
Who's Your Daddy? - 0
Wallace Does Veronica a Favor - 0
Veronica Wants a Pony - 0
Logan Punches Someone - 0
Dick's Single Entendres - 0
Shenanigans Called - 0