PLEASE NOTE: THIS IS A SPOILER-RICH ZONE. If your diet requires you to dine on television spoiler-free ... good luck with that.


Tuesday, August 25, 2020

Delusions of Angel

Episode 2.06: Guise Will Be Guise. Original Airdate: 11.07.00.

“Angel meets with a swami to end his obsession with Darla. Meanwhile, Wesley assumes Angel’s identity and plays bodyguard to a businessman’s daughter.”


Zelda’s Thoughts:

  • The episode starts with Wes stumbling, struggling to open a file cabinet drawer, and spilling the contents everywhere. Because we have to have an arc.
  • Aw, throwback to when Wesley was a rogue demon hunter … and then he takes a prat-fall on the spilled files.
  • Whee, Angel and Gunn breaking into W&H through the basement. And Wes and Cordy crash their elevator to stop Angel from being a dumdum.
  • AHAHAHAHA I love Gunn reacting to Angel’s shitty shitty plan: “What? That’s the plan? Walking real quick was the plan?” We still haven’t gotten to my favorite line about Angel’s bad planning skills, but I appreciate this character consistency/mocking thereof.
  • Also the security guard’s stick has a retractable stake. Fancy.
  • Aww they took Gunn to Caritas! He’s part of the gang.
  • “Once more with less feeling,” says Lorne and it’s like he knows what my started Buffy episode was.
  • Angel’s all twitchy and acting like an addict.
  • Gunn’s worried Angel will have to sing, but Lorne lets us all off the hook and sends Angel to T’ish Magev to fix his brain. “He’ll shock your chakras, filet your soul, whatever you need.”
  • Cordelia imitating Angel: “Oh no, I can’t do anything fun tonight. I have to count my past sins, then alphabetize them. Oh by the way, I’m thinking of snapping on Friday.” I fucking love it. The more this show mocks Angel, the more I dig it.
  • Gasp! A heavy shows up waving a gun and threatening Cordelia. Wes overhears, then steps into action: hero shot, big flowy coat, a hint of bluster. Time to pretend to be Angel.
  • Hah, I forgot this entire episode is basically T’ish Magev calling Angel out, starting with a vampire driving a flashy convertible in Los Angeles. And wearing all black.
  • Angel claims the all black means he doesn’t have to worry about matching, which is incorrect. Some blacks are reddish, some bluish, especially under tinted lights, and you can tell when you’re mismatching them.
  • HAH. Wes: *begins to enter the house* // Heavy: I invite you in. // Wes: *immediately ducks backwards, then enters again* 

Also, is he coming in from direct sunlight?

  • This is a great episode for Alexis Denisof, so much fun for him.
  • Eeep he has to drink a cup of blood as part of the subterfuge. *trying not to vomit* “Dear god that’s … nummy.”
  • Anyway he’s asking him to protect his daughter.
  • “There are two yous,” the T’ish Magev says over a shot of Wes!Angel. We see you, show.
  • Anyway now he’s calling Angel out on his hair gel. 

  • Wes sees his reflection in a mirror, freaks out, backs away, and knocks over a truly creepy clown-doll art. Well done.
  • Wes, trying to be Angel to two random thugs: “Don’t worry, I don’t kill humans … unless I’m angry.” Props for his improv skills, but I’m still surprised people are buying his act. He’s got so many tells. If anyone here had good observation skills, he’d have been found out immediately.
  • Anyway, T’ish is fighty-fighting with Angel and psychoanalyzing him and GASP he’s on the phone to someone, letting we the viewers know that he killed the real T’ish and is just here to keep Angel distracted, which is when the mysterious guy he’s on the phone with wonders who the hell is the English guy. Also, I’m sad because Lorne was like “Ramone is the best” and we find out Ramone is how they knew to set this whole thing up.
  • Wow, for once it’s not W&H behind the subterfuge.
  • Virginia: “I keep waiting for my life to start,” and it’s very strong Rapunzel vibes! 

  • Two hooded guards try to take Virginia and Wes … trounces them! Good job, Wes!
  • Oop, T’fake tells Angel to go hook up with someone else to help him get over Darla, and I guess the jig is up.
  • But before that, time for Wes and Virginia to hook up!
  • Cordy shows up to try to spring Wes, but it’s too late.
  • “Oh no, not the sun! For I am a vampire! Oh, it burns!” Ooooooops.
  • Anyway, Virginia’s rightly pissed because Wes was lying to her and they slept together.
  • Also gasp! Turns out Bryce wanted a bodyguard for Virginia to keep her alive only until the sacrifice planned for his 50th birthday and are there any good father figures in the Whedonverse?
  • Angel, confused: “Were you in Virginia?” // “That’s beside the point.” #sexjoke [And because I am 11, this is my favorite line. - D]
  • Luckily Angel is back in time to tell us that Bryce doesn’t worship a god but a demon, and Wes accesses his Watcher Brain for Yeska knowledge, and figures out the plan.
  • Wes, still showing his better-than-Angel leadership skills, makes a plan, then backtracks before Angel and says he probably knows best. Angel adopts Wes’s plan because, again, Angel is bad at plans.
  • Wow, all the party guests are just watching this shit happen, as Virginia is chained to the altar.
  • Man, all the evils are human this episode, I guess we won’t be killing anyone.
  • Anyway, it turns out none of this would have worked anyway, because Virginia is “impure,” and how nice, we’d gone too long without obsessing about a woman’s “purity” and sexuality as somehow reflective of her character.
  • Aw, Virginia and Wes are still dating! That’s cute. Cordelia’s grumpy: “Reflective glory? That’s my thing.”

Daniel’s Thoughts:
  • Hyperion with Wesley.  He does a bunch of physical comedy before some guy comes in.
  • The guy wants to talk to Angel because he needs someone who is tough.
  • Wesley tries to be tough but pratfalls and the guy leaves.
  • Cordelia comes downstairs with some urgency.
  • Meanwhile at Wolfram & Hart, Angel & Gunn are sneaking in through a grate in the basement.
  • Wes & Cordelia have also snuck in, but instead of coming through the sewers, they disguise themselves as lawyers.
  • Cordy warns Angel that W&H have vampire detectors.
  • Sure enough a security guard with a baton-stake (cool!) tries to dust Angel, but Angel stabs him in the foot.


  • Caritas.  It’s Gunn’s first time here.  Some guys are singing ‘I Got You Babe’.
  • Wait, so they went to W&H but…just left after?
  • Luckily, we don’t see Angel sing this time.  Lorne’s just giving him a reading. 
  • Cordelia is also relieved that Angel doesn’t have to sing.
  • Cabin in the woods! (in...Ohai)
  • The swami is not what Angel expected.  Like could they not hire an Indian actor?  They hired a white actor for…the joke? 
  • Meanwhile another mob looking guy threatens Cordelia if she doesn’t produce Angel.
  • Enter, Wesley pretending to be Angel.  This will go well.
  • Ugh, and this swami guy …they’re having a conversation about Angel’s car & clothing.  What is he a stylist? His publicist? What is happening?
  • Wesley as Angel is introduced by Mr. Bryce who needs protection. 
  • He offers Wesley blood…and oh man, there could be so many excuses to not drink it.  Wesley isn’t smooth. We know this.  So much not smooth that he dumps the rest of the blood in a…clear vase…
  • Bryce wants WesGel…AngLey? to protect his daughter.  
  • I get it.  This is a “fun” episode.
  • Virginia is the spoiled rich daughter.   Oh, I remember her.  She’s recurring.  I’m sure she’ll have more depth later – but first impressions have to be stereotypical. 
  • Cordelia calls Gunn for help.
  • Some thugs try to take Virginia but Wesley reveals himself to be Angel and the thugs get spooked off really easily despite Wes’s obvious stammering and weirdness.
  • Angel continues his own journey and the wise old white man continues to try to therapize him I guess.  It’s kinda boring.
  • Ohhhhhhh.  EVIL REVEAL.  Turns out this guy is not the real swami & he’s in league with the mob guys.
  • More guys trying to take Virginia.  This time Wesley actually shows off his fighting skills and kicks their asses.
  • Now this guy is trying to coach Angel to go out and neg some girl to heal his heart.  And this…is when Angel starts getting suspicious.  Interesting that this happens only after we realize the evil reveal.
  • Virginia and Wes get closer.  This is the part of the episode where the rich girl lets us all know that she has it tough too!  I’m sure a TikTokker has done this bit.
  • This one is close. Follow @RachelWenitsky on Twitter. She's hilarious
  • Virginia and Wes kiss.  
  • Ok, I’m calling shenanigans. Virginia knows about the curse.  They’ve obviously done their research on Angel – they have tons of magical books and histories – and yet…they haven’t seen a picture of him?  Also, where was that original mob guy from the beginning who actually met Wesley and his pratfalliness. 
  • Angel also tells the “guru” about the curse. He sorta explains it’s not always about sex – but ‘true happiness’, a distinction a lot of people don't seem to get.
  • And Wesley has sex with Virginia under false pretenses.
  • Gunn goes to find Angel but gets wacked in the head.  The guy, stays in the sunlight but Angel gets creative using a fishing pole.  It’s actually pretty cool make-up effect.

  • Anyway the jig is up.  Everyone knows now that Wesley isn’t Angel so now he and Cordelia are trapped.
  • Wait, he just....lets them go?
  • Ah right.  The sacrifice. I remember this.
  • “Were you in Virginia?” “That’s besides the point.”  Oh dude.
  • With Angel back, they put everything together.  Angel is more concerned about his coat.
  • I love when Angel’s vanity comes through.
  • Virginia is at the big party and of course has no idea she’s about to be sacrificed.  Kinda like that time Doyle went to that bachelor party.
  • The crew arrive in a v-formation like they always seem to do.  But this time,  Wesley is in front 
  • OMG the demon looks like a demon from The Evil Dead. 

"I'll swallow your soul!"

  • LOL, Angel offended being called a eunuch. 
  • This whole spell was under the impression that Virginia was a virgin.  I mean…I’m getting this strange feeling like…she was named Virginia….for that express purpose. [Gross. - literally all of us]
  • But Virginia is not…and has not been…a virgin since she was 16.


Favorite Lines:

Zelda: “Oh no, I can’t do anything fun tonight. I have to count my past sins, then alphabetize them. Oh by the way, I’m thinking of snapping on Friday.” – Cordelia

Daniel: “Were you in Virginia?” “That’s besides the point.”  - Angel/Wesley



First Appearance: Virginia Bryce

Recurring: Lorne

Generally Known TV Face: Brigid Brannagh, Todd Susman, Saul Stein, Michael Yama, Patrick Kilpatrick

Generally Known Face: Art LaFleur

Lorne’s Nicknames: Angelito

Cordelia’s Alias: Lawyer, “Angel”

Wesley’s Alias: Angel


Caritas Song List

“I Got You, Babe”



Cordelia’s Hair – blown straight, parted down the middle (clipped up when in Lawyer mode); bewildering low ponytail with half her hair loose

Dead Humans – 0

Dead Undeads – 0

Dead Flashbacks – 0

Dead Lawyers – 0

Cordelia Has a Vision – 0

Wesley Prat-falls – 2

Lawyered Ex Machina – 0

Evil Reveal – 2 (T’ish Magev isn’t T’ish Magev; Bryce wants to sacrifice his daughter, not just keep her safe)

Unevil Reveal – 0

Shenanigans Called – 1

Apocalypse Called – 0

Prophecy Called – 0

Tuesday, August 18, 2020

Between the Clowns and the Big Talking Hot Dog

Episode 2.05: Dear Boy. Original Airdate: 10.24.00.

“Darla tries to drive Angel over the edge in hopes of getting him to embrace his dark side.”


Daniel’s Thoughts:

  • The Hyperion is really looking nice.  I can’t imagine Cordelia cleans that lobby every day.
  • Angel is really super tired.  No one knows why.  We do.
  • Cordy vision: Red hoods, big green monster.
  • Angel makes a quip and no one laughs.  I hate when that happens.
  • He falls asleep briefly and Victorian era Darla sits on his lap kissing him.  It’s weird.
  • “We’re gonna need some muscle.  Call Gunn.”  GUNN IS MORE THAN JUST MUSCLE.
  • “My Uncle Theo always said never buy a dull plow and never get in the middle of a religious war.” [And never get involved in a land war in Asia.  And never go in against a Sicilian when death is on the line! - Vizzini]

  • Cordelia: “Well at least they’re not killing each other and not--” Big Green thing: “Intruders!”  Oh, Cordy.
  • Gunn kills the big green thing which reminds me more of a Doctor Who alien than a demon.

Moisturize me?

  • Angel continues to whale on some guy without any awareness of what’s around him.
  • Again with the random fair in the middle of an LA sidestreet park thingy.   This time, at night. Finally, Angel sees Darla while awake.
  • Oh! Guest starring Elisabeth Rohm.  Is this her last episode? (snark.)
  • Ooh, and we get some of Angel’s past.  Angel with the long hair and the bad accent.
  • Ahh, this is the story of what Angel and Darla did to Drusilla.
  • They talk about her.  Dru is still human.  They’re attracted to her because she has “the sight” which we know from Buffy.
  • In the present, Angel loses Darla in the crowd…but he’s getting closer to understanding what’s going on.
  • Meanwhile, Wes and Cordelia are interviewing a new client who claims his wife gets abducted by aliens.
  • Cordy & Wes are incredulous to this – but if there are demons, why not aliens?
  • But it quickly becomes clear that his wife is cheating on him.
  • “Do you think my wife’s cheating on me?” “Probably.” – Angel says without any context.
  • And Angel sniffs Cordelia’s hair and is really weird.
  • Cordelia, “I like Buffy as much as the next-“  Do you, though?
  • Is this  Lindsey’s first episode back?  He’s got a prosthetic hand now.  He and Darla flirt, I guess.  I think that’s just their personalities?
  • Hey Detective Kate. Some guy, some fellow cop, exposits where she’s been and what she’s been up to.  Apparently she’s been transferred.  And she finds out, Angel has too, in a way.  He also reminds the audience that Kate likes to investigate the strange and unusual.  And he seems really…angry about it.
  • Meanwhile, Cordy undercovers as a waitress at the hotel the wife is cheating at. Wes is so not subtle taking pictures. Angel hides in a plant.
  • But Angel is tired of this and doesn’t want to do it so he exposes themselves thusly losing money for the team.
  • And Darla is in the hotel!   Wes & Cordelia have never met her so they don’t recognize her.  And she’s human.  She fakes a name and a husband and cries out for help.  She obviously didn’t run into him by accident so I don’t know what the point of this is.  Is it just to continue to play with him?
  • Oh no, we hear Angel sing karaoke badly again – at least he apologizes for it? That’s actually kinda hilarious.
  • And we get to see  Lorne, so that’s good
  • Cordy gets an address for “DeEtta” (Darla) and Angel does what he does best: stalk.
  • Inside, it’s clear that it’s a ruse.  Darla’s “husband” is an actor and talks about his art…and it’s so lame.  They really like making fun of actors on this show.
  • There’s also a guard inside, hiding from the windows.
  • Gunn finds out that Angel can turn back into Angelus and he’s not too happy about it.
  • Gunn “ If he gets back up to his old tricks, how bad can it get?”
  • The show answers by providing us with another flashback.
  • Angel has killed all of Dru’s family.  Darla’s disappointed that he hasn’t killed Dru yet.  Angel’s plans for Dru are worse.  He wants to turn Dru and make her torment permanent.  So Angelus is a barrel of laughs.
  • Darla’s security guard is a vamp who kills the actor husband.  She calls 911 pinning it on Angel.  The cops come immediately, of course.
  • Angel escapes to the attic and ends up on the roof.
  • And Darla meets Detective Kate and what is with Kate’s hair??

  • Darla sob stories about how awful Angel is which fuels Kate’s already really bad hatred of him.
  • And Angel kidnaps Darla in the coolest way. He just drops down from a tree and scoops her up.
  • Kate: You guys want to help us out here or go down with the boss? Cordy and Wes defiantly cross their arms and it’s awesome.
  • And of course Kate singles out the one black guy in the room and asks if he has any priors.
  • Angel never doubts for a minute that she’s Darla which is amazing because she’s a pretty good actress.  (Both Darla and Julie Benz).  She doesn’t give a hint of deception - it’s great how Julie Benz is playing this.
  • Darla finally caves when Angel goes all vamp and bites into her neck. “There’s my boy.”
  • Wesley and Cordy have finally come around about Darla because they found a picture of her.
  • Darla has a soul now but that doesn’t mean she’s good.  She still wants Angel to lose his soul.
  • “You took me places, showed me things - but you never made me happy.”  Oof. Truth bomb.
  • Darla thinks she can turn him by having sex with him like Buffy did. 
  • Kate has this incredibly flawed logic that innocent people wouldn’t get killed if Angel and his team didn’t get involved in this fight. 
  • Darla leaves.  Angel Broods.   Like he can just sit in a chair for hours, can’t he?
  • “There’s going to be trouble.”  Wesley, meet show.


Zelda’s Thoughts:

  • Angel, still sleepy and out of it. Cordelia: “Ah, you must be all worn out from sleeping for the last three days.”
  • Cordelia and Wesley, bicker bicker bicker. At least he’s not insulting her intelligence.
  • Uh oh, Angel is now hallucinating Darla while officially awake. Or at the least, he’s dreaming of Darla without IRL Darla there to facilitate it.
  • How does Angel just know so much about the former convent. I guess it’s convenient. And that is where he tracked Dru down when he finally turned her, so it’s actually setting up our flashbacks, fine I’ll allow it.
  • Nice, Gunn uses his fancy hubcap axe to kill this rando thrall demon. While Angel spends all his energy punching a thralled human.
  • Cordy: “He’s off his game.” // Gunn: “Since when is it a game.” For real.
  • Oh hey the fun’s begun! Angel, walking through some promenade, sees Darla in red (of course). HOW COULD IT BE. I do like this chess move. Now that his dream state is currently thoroughly fucked with, and it’s impacting his work, let’s throw Is-She-a-Hallucination-or-Real into the field.
  • Of course we know the truth, but be prepared for some gaslighting of our grumpfaced vamp.
  • Oh no a flashback and a wig. A bad accent can’t be far behind.
  • And there it is.
  • Flashback Darla’s picked out Flashback Angelus’s next target … FLASHBACK DRUSILLA.

  • Aw man, the one time Juliet Landau gets to play pre-insane on either show. I mean, she doesn’t look steady but that’s because she’s already got visions. Poor thing.
  • Anyway back in the flashpresent they’ve got a new client who claims his wife gets abducted by aliens “on a regular basis” and dude she’s cheating on you, time to cut and run.
  • Angel strides in, distracted. “Do you think my wife’s cheating on me?” // “Probably.”
  • Jesus fuck Angel is sniffing Cordelia’s hair and nuzzling her why why stop.

  • Angel says he’s out of it “because of her,” and they assume it’s Buffy, but nope. At least he’s finally coming clean.
  • But like why would dreaming about Darla make him want to sniff and nuzzle Cordelia? I assume they smell nothing alike. I hate it. I super hate it.
  • Lindsey’s hair is sooooo 90s boyband, especially with the center part. How would W&H be okay with this look? (don’t get me wrong, Christian Kane is a cutie, but it’s a surprising hairstyle for a supposedly slick city lawyer)
  • Darla: “Everyone betrays you. That’s not what eats at you in the long winter’s night.” // Lindsey: “Yeah? What does?”// Darla: “Missed opportunities.”
  • Oh hey Detective Kate is still around. She’s apparently in the “Siberia” department, no longer downtown. Aw she’s full Mulder with a bigger grudge.
  • Wow, the whole team’s a-spying on the “abducted” wife, taking pictures, recording audio, and Cordelia’s in a weird wenchy waitress costume.

  • Angel sabotages the surveillance, and then gasp Darla is just there, and he confronts her.
  • She’s doing a great job acting confused and scared – and then she runs to meet her “husband” Stephen, and stares at him from the sunlight. Gasp!
  • I know Cordy never met Darla, but Wes should know what she looks like, shouldn’t he? I guess they were carefully making sure he didn’t get a good look at her face.
  • Angel, after just WOW struggling through that Wang Chung song, abruptly flips off the karaoke machine and says “I’m very sorry” and it may be his finest moment.
  • I wonder why Lorne’s not being more helpful. With his powers, he should know just telling Angel to back off this path won’t actually deter him.
  • And off Angel goes to DeEtta Kramer’s house, where she’s having dinner with wow the guy playing Stephen is So Invested in his ROLE. Talking about the Actor’s Studio and puppet theater of the absurd.
  • We also see that there’s a bodyguard of some sort standing guard.
  • Oops, this is the first Gunn is learning that sometimes Angel turns evil. They really should have looped him in on that earlier.
  • “Imagine Bonnie and Clyde if they had 150 years to get it right.”
  • Gunn asks how bad it can get if Angelus comes back, and we transition to the convent Angelus shredded, and poor Drusilla’s lost her mind, muttering to herself.
  • Dang, Angelus and Darla are basically having sex in Drusilla’s lap. That’s pretty fucked.
  • Aaaaand, back to the present, Darla calls 911 on Angel breaking into the house and then the bodyguard is a vaaaaaaaamp and he kills Stephen, and once she’s done panicking, Angel breaks in.
  • Lindsey, listening over Darla’s bug, smirks and says “Woman should have her own series.” Dude’s got a point.
  • It’s kinda fun that Darla’s pulled a trick like this twice on Angel: she framed him for assaulting Joyce so Buffy would turn on him, and now she’s framed him for murdering Stephen, and to quote Angelus to Buffy, “And you fall for it every single time!”
  • And hey now Kate’s there on the case. I guess it’s lucky she’s no longer working the downtown beat, so she can visit  suburbia?
  • Although … what is up with Kate’s hair.
  • Darla’s fabricating a stalking history of Angel following her.
  • The small satisfied smile on Kate’s face when she hears Angel vamped out: fucking cold. This is what she’s been waiting for: a valid reason for her hatred of him. She can congratulate herself that she always knew he was evil.
  • Whoop, Darla’s standing there and suddenly whoomp she’s pulled up out of frame. I’m having flashbacks to the giant ape puppet in the King Kong musical.
  • Kate storms the Hyperion looking for Angel.
  • Ugh, Kate’s being suspicious of Gunn and you can pretend to remove context and say it’s just because he’s a new face, but wow is it also textbook fucking profiling of the Black guy and I fucking hate it. “Any priors?” “I forget.” Gunn, too tired and used to this behavior from cops.
  • Ah, this is why we had that random battle earlier. To give us a cool column-y set for the big confrontation with Darla.
  • Angel, drifting much closer to Angelus than I think any of us are comfortable with, stalks Darla through the space, then vamps out and bites her.
  • And Darla finally breaks character, “there’s my boy,” and woop they’re making out.
  • Luckily Gunn finds the flaw in Kate’s argument: Angel couldn’t have broken into DeEtta’s house unless the real owners were dead, on account of vampire. And then Wes shows Kate a daguerreotype of Darla and we’re finally on … well, not the same page, but I think we’re all in the same chapter.
  • Except Darla already thinks she knows how this book ends.
  • “What’s the big plan, get me so screwed up I go bad again?”
  • Angel warns her, she has a soul now, and eventually her memories will start to chew her up.
  • Darla’s not interested in that; she wants to give him his moment of happiness, make Angelus truly return.
  • “But you never made me happy.”
  • “We were together 150 years. We shared everything. You’re saying … never?”
  • “Buffy wasn’t happiness. She was just new.” Angel’s rewriting the chapter and stealing the narrative back from her. She looks lost and scared, covering it with bitter cynicism.
  • She insists he had this darkness in her before she ever turned him, which is an interesting point. We’ve seen Liam and he was kind of a tool and he had a soul. Angel is somehow separate from both Liam and Angelus. Except that he is drifting closer to the nihilism of Angelus right now.
  • “You’re gonna feel it, you know. What you did. That man you got killed?” // “Please. He was an actor.” Hey!
  • Angel grabs her by the throat. She holds a crucifix to his chest. As he burns, she reminds him “You see, no matter how good a boy you are, God doesn’t want you. But I still do.” And she runs into the sunlight, where he cannot follow.
  • He … he really shouldn’t have let her go. Like … that was a good exit line but that’s no excuse for shoddy PI work.


Favorite Lines:

Daniel: “Right, Guilt. Who loves guilt, like you love guilt?” - Cordelia

Zelda: “You see, no matter how good a boy you are, God doesn’t want you. But I still do.” – Darla



First Appearance: Drusilla

Recurring: Detective Kate Lockley, Lindsey McDonald, Lorne, Darla, Angel’s “Irish” “accent”

Generally Known TV Face: Stewart Skelton, Cheryl White, Rich Hutchman

Buffy Crossover: Drusilla

Whedonverse Hat Trick: Stewart Skelton (Harold Jeakins on Angel, Chief Wellins on S.H.I.E.L.D.), Derek Anthony (second role on Angel)

Darla’s Alias: DeEtta Kramer


Angel! In! History!

Angel is 247. He was with Darla for 150 years. And he has a thing for convents.

Darla picked out Drusilla for Angelus. He murdered her entire family, pursued her to a convent, murdered everyone there, and then had sex with Darla in her lap. She didn’t take it well.

He staked Darla 3.5 years ago.


Caritas Song List

“Everybody Have Fun Tonight”



Cordelia’s Hair – low ponytail or fully down, choppy waves; high ponytail, loose curls; messy bun with loose tendrils

Dead Humans – 1

Dead Undeads – 1

Dead Flashbacks – 2 + Drusilla’s entire family + a convent full of nuns

Dead Lawyers – 0

Cordelia Has a Vision – 1

Wesley Prat-falls – 0

Lawyered Ex Machina – 0

Evil Reveal – 0

Unevil Reveal – 0

Shenanigans Called – 0

Apocalypse Called – 0

Prophecy Called – 0

Monday, August 10, 2020

Nobody But Our Mr. Bills

 Episode 2.04: Untouched. Original Airdate: 10.17.00.

“Angel attempts to help a girl with telekinetic powers before she falls into the hands of Wolfram and Hart.”

Zelda’s Thoughts:
  • I feel like there’s a joke somewhere in saying “Hey there Lilah,” but I can’t be bothered.
  • Anyway she’s snooping in a dark office. Probably Lindsey’s but he’s not in this episode. I guess Darla lives in his office? That’s … a choice.
  • Also Darla is totally flirting with Lilah.
  • Her dress is similar enough to the one she wore in Angel’s Caritas dream, coupled with her just appearing out of the dark, that this all feels hallucinate-y. Even though it’s not. Anyway, she’s using some kind of magic powder when she has her visits with Angel, to keep him knocked out but receptive.
  • Cool, Wes is being casually misogynistic to Cordy as they argue about paying Gunn for his help, which … yes duh, come on, listen to Cordelia and pay Gunn.
  • Seriously, why does every episode lately feature one of the guys belittling Cordelia’s intelligence. We’ve known she’s smart for years. Stop just stop just stop.
  • Angel’s still out of it, and at least he’s admitting it to the team. Wes: “It’s been going on for a bit, hasn’t it? You sleep more, you’re less rested. Are you dreaming?” Wow, Wes is dragging all of us right now but anyway before we can go into it, Cordelia’s our Vision Girl. And as Angel runs out, she, recovering, says “Oh god, he’s gonna be too late.”
  • Girl in the alley looks like Sarah Polley. She’s not, but she looks like her.
  • Anyway the two guys chasing her have now been crushed by a dumpster so that’s cool.
  • Oh right, this is the episode about weaponized trauma. Ugh this poor woman.
  • Angel’s very clever, striding into the crime scene and fooling the beat cop into thinking he’s an official detective to get the skinny.
  • And as Angel wanders off, the real detective shows up, and poor beat cop looks confused.
  • He follows his enhanced vampire nostrils to find the woman hiding in a nearby warehouse.
  • Aaaand she telekenesises a rebar through his shoulder. Luckily for us it’s not wooden?
  • Angel’s working hard on the empathy angle, pointing out he’s not like other people, same as she isn’t like other people. And then when it’s clear she doesn’t have family in town, he says he doesn’t either. A bit of a dig to Cordy and Wes, but I see what he’s doing.
  • He was also, back at the Hyperion, trying to create explicit employee-employer dynamic with Cordelia, so this could be part of a larger symptom of the distance building up between him and the others, as Darla takes over his mind and OOPS Bethany (alley woman) is staying with Lilah.
  • I guess they’re from the same small town?  And Lilah scouted her, brought her to LA, and cool, another tool for W&H.
  • Cordelia calls Angel’s pec a “manly boob muscle” and I just.
  • “You know how hard it is to think straight with a rebar through your torso?” // “Actually I do. Benefits of a Sunnydale education.” Heyo, shoutout to “Lovers Walk”!
  • Gunn is here! And he’s friendlier with Cordelia and I’m into that. And he has a fancy new axe!

  • He then makes a crack about workman’s comp and yeah seriously Angel pay the dude. Unless you’re doing a true barter system of favors, pay the dude.
  • Aw, remember Angel’s tattoo? The makeup artists did!
  • Oooh, instead of Dream Darla time, we get Bethany’s dream perspective, which … fuck, she was abused by her father. Whoop, her dream brain sends a lamp right into Lilah’s head.
  • NM, it is also Dream Darla time and sadly it’s a flashback to Angelus’s terrible wig. Oh wow, she’s bringing him back to the night they killed the Romani girl, aka the reason he was cursed with a soul.
  • Vamp Angelus biting Vamp Darla. Kinky.
  • Cordelia’s on 45 minutes of sleep, Angel’s on … what, 16 hours? Hardly seems fair.
  • Luckily, all that fruitless research was for naught because Bethany walks into the Hyperion.
  • Bethany calls it a “family business.” Angel – either reading that that word is charged for her, or, again, pulling away from the team – corrects her with “friends.”
  • Meanwhile, confirmed that the two men who chased Bethany into the alley were sent by W&H explicitly to trigger her telekinetic violence and I hate this.
  • Cordelia’s getting a “women and sex” vibe off Bethany, but that’s not strictly true. Rape and assault aren’t sex. Sex is consensual.
  • Bethany’s upset with Angel, throwing out sample useless questions that betray they definitely tried therapy when she was a child, and I’m now upset her therapist didn’t cotton on to what was happening and rescue her.
  • Wesley tries deliberately to trigger her, threatening to send her back to her father, and while it was effective, hey maybe let’s not deliberately trigger a deeply traumatized person, especially one who has yet to work through said trauma. It’s an open wound he’s salting. Angel rightly sends him home. “It helps that we know.” // “I hope so.”
  • Oof, the proposition Bethany makes to Angel, “I figured we’d have fun. You can do stuff to me, and, you know, we’ll have some fun.” Her voice is completely dead, her eyes blank. She says fun, but there’s nothing fun for her about this.
  • “I’m like the chambermaid. I just leave. When a guy’s on me, I … I made up the room, I showed him in … and I leave til he’s gone. Come back and clean up the mess.” Poor Bethany’s dissociating is taking over. An interesting metaphor, I suppose. She goes out of her body, as does her telekinetic energy.
  • While doing some snooping with Gunn into Bethany’s would-be attackers, Angel falls through the door barrier of the apartment, confirming said attacker has now died from his injuries. 
I can't stop watching this gif.
  • Oh we’re at a merry-go-round. Does this mean we’re back at the Santa Monica Pier?
  • Jesus, the abduction of Bethany is so quick and so terrifying. Cordelia’s able to stall them a bit but there are too many for her to stop them. Luckily, Angel and Gunn have impeccable timing, driving up in time for a car chase. Once they found out W&H were involved, they knew they would have additional and threatening resources.
  • Bethany, spinning out, “You’re playing with me. Why does everyone wanna play with me? I don’t wanna play.” The regression to her child self, it’s rough.
  • And then the “trigger” Lilah and Holland telegraphed earlier is pulled: Bethany’s dad shows up at the hotel. And all the windows are blasted out in her shock.
  • The room trembles, walls breaking, nails flying, as he gaslights her, calm voice trying to convince her to come home. I wonder what he thinks he’s here to do. W&H sent him here to die.
  • Bethany, at last, is calm. Is focused. As she levitates her father, throttling him. Angel tells her to finish it. She says “goodbye” and sends him flying out the window—but stops him just short of crashing to the ground. She has the power and strength to kill him. But she’s not ready to become a conscious killer yet.
  • She still needs therapy. But she knows she doesn’t need Lilah.
  • So I guess that’s a win for our side?
  • Lilah, desperate, points to Angel: “He is a vampire, you know.” Bethany: “Weird.”

Daniel’s Thoughts:
  • I can tell by the doors opening, that this is Wolfram & Hart.  Very creepy & dark, but standard Law offices.
  • Lilah sneaks into the office…and Darla creepily appears out of the shadows.  Was she, like, just waiting there for someone to come in?
  • Turns out Darla has a special dust/drug that she uses to keep Angel asleep while she rapes him physically and mentally.
  • Advanced Bosoms?  Geez, Wesley.  What is his misogyny deal?  What is with everyone seriously belittling Cordelia's intelligence? Also…what would an Advanced Bosom class entail?
  • Wesley & Cordelia are arguing as to whether they should pay Gunn or not….  Uh.  Why wouldn’t they?
  • Angel gets into the conversation and I'm feeling uncomfortable about three white people discussing whether they should pay a black man for his labor.
  • Cordy has a vision of a woman being chased.
  • Oh man, but this woman doesn’t seem to need help from Angel.  She uses telekinetic powers to smash her would-be-rapists with a dumpster.
  • Ha, I love Angel undercover.  He’s pretending to be a detective to get the scoop.
  • Lol, the cop compares the squished bad guys to Mr. Bill and I am here for it.

Oh nooooo!

  1. Angel finds the young woman.  Scared, she accidentally skewers him with rebar.  
  2. But Angel's ok cause it wasn’t wood!  Still must smart a bit.
  3. Angel tries to convince Carrie (that’s what I’m calling her til I found out her name) to take his card.
  4. After she leaves, we realize that what she did really did hurt Angel a lot.  It might not be easy to kill Angel, but its nice that they acknowledge that he can still be badly hurt.
  5. Oh no!  Carrie (who we find out her name is Bethany – I don’t care, I’m still calling her Carrie) knows  Lilah.  She’s staying with her.
  6. I LOVE LILAH’S APARTMENT.  It’s such a lawyer loft.  
As if Lilah does her own laundry

  • Angel didn’t even get her name.  I did.  It’s Carrie.
  • Gunn has arrived with a giant metal hatchet. 
  • Gunn to Cordelia: “You still saving my life?”  Aww, continuity.
  • And she is, in a way – fighting for his right to get paid.
  • The fact that this is even a question is astounding.  What is he an artist? “Do it for the exposure!” – (Fuck everyone who says that.) Just because you enjoy your job, doesn't mean you shouldn't get paid for it.  And it is a job.  
  • Carrie is having scary dreams, causing the lamp next to her to shake and eventually fall.
  • The dreams have to do with her father – which is giving me an ick factor.
  • Ooh, Angel’s dreams are now….memories?  Or just set in the past? Angel looking like Ron Perlman in that show…Beauty and the…guy with the weird face.
  • Carrie left Lilah’s apartment and shows up at the Hyperion.  She introduces herself as Carrie White.  (Fine, it’s Bethany Chaulk  - I wonder if Chaulk was used…because chalk…is white?   Reaching?  Probably.)  She’s also a redhead like Sissy Spacek.
  • Holland reams out Lilah in the only way an evil corporate lawyer can.  But Bethany calls Lilah at just the right moment.
  • Angel and Carrie are outside…and very close to direct sunlight.
  • The bottom of Angel’s shoes are yellow and really clash with his all black outfit.

  • Wesley makes Carrie mad – all on purpose.  He wants to get a rise out of Carrie to bring her powers out and he does.  She tosses Wesley into a wall and Angel into the sun-shiney patio.  He doesn’t immediately burst into flames like other vampires we’ve seen on Buffy.  
  • And now Angel & Carrie are having that “People suck” “No people are innately ok” conversation….and I just.  It’s just not the right time in our pandemic for this “people are basically good” conversation.
  • "You wouldn’t like me when I’m happy.”
  • Ooh, during this whole conversation between Carrie and Angel, Darla has been lurking around the corner.
  • She….does that a lot this episode.
  • And why doesn’t Angel sense her?  I guess in a way he does.
  • Next day Angel teaches Carrie how to control her gift and it looks pretty easy. Like, there's not even a montage or anything.
  • Angel breaks into an apartment with Gunn but it seems like Gunn can only get inside.  But then weirdly Angel falls through the barrier which I guess means the owner of the apartment literally just died?
  • Meanwhile Cordy and Carrie have a pow wow…at a carnival or something.  “Don’t bone my boss,” she says, missing the point.
  • Some brutes try to take Carrie away, but Cordy rescues her by throwing coffee in their faces and it’s awesome.  But oops, a van comes and takes her anyway.  Luckily Angel & Gunn are not far behind.  Car chase!
  • Angel hanging from the back of the van!
  • “One more excuse and I’m going to bury you alive next to my house just so I can hear you screaming.” – Lilah.
  • And then Bethany sees her father and explodes the entire room.  This is the second time Angel’s been thrown across a room this episode.  First for Cordy.  At least Wesley isn’t there.
  • Why would they use her father, someone who obviously triggered her telekinesis to try to get her back.  This is like the opposite of what they should do.  Unless they think it'll just kill Angel and be done with it.  Eh, I dunno.  It seems counter-productive to the trust Lilah was trying to build with her previously.
  • Angel at this point says, "You've got the power, use it. Finish it." making it seem like Angel's okay with killing.  It crosses a line that a regular superhero show wouldn't do - but maybe that's the point.  Morality in this show isn't black & white.
  • And she tosses her father out the window!  But also lets him fall safely, stopping him before he hits the ground. 
  • And Carrie finally leaves Lilah’s apartment.  Angel is waiting outside because he’s not invited in.
  • “Looks like you're gonna have  to find someone else’s brain to play with, “  “Yeah we have someone in mind,” Lilah answers pointedly but Angel doesn’t get it.  Ooooh.  This is what I love about Lilah. 

Favorite Lines:
Zelda: “You call, I come. Loaded for bear, ready for battle, and something else that starts with B.” – Gunn
Daniel: “One more excuse and I’m going to bury you alive next to my house just so I can hear you screaming.” – Lilah

First Appearance: Gunn’s hubcap axe
Recurring: Lilah Morgan, Holland Manners, Darla
Generally Known TV Face: Gareth Williams, David Meunier (as David J. Miller)
Whedonverse Hat Trick: David Meunier (as David J. Miller; Man #1 in Angel, Rat-Faced Demon in Buffy), Drew Wicks (first of two roles on Angel, Man in Dollhouse)
Angel’s Alias: Police Detective

Angel! In! History!
  • Angel prays to forget several fashion trends he’s lived through.
  • Flashback!Angel had Flashback!kinkysex with Flashback!Darla while the Romani girl was tied up in the room, forced to watch.

Cordelia’s Hair – low ponytail, lightly wavy; half-up, still lightly wavy
Dead Humans – 2
Dead Undeads – 0
Dead Flashbacks – 0
Dead Lawyers – 0
Cordelia Has a Vision – 1
Wesley Prat-falls – 0
Lawyered Ex Machina – 0
Evil Reveal – 0
Unevil Reveal – 0
Shenanigans Called – 0
Apocalypse Called – 0
Prophecy Called – 0