PLEASE NOTE: THIS IS A SPOILER-RICH ZONE. If your diet requires you to dine on television spoiler-free ... good luck with that.


Tuesday, December 19, 2017

And I Don't Want You Seeing Kid Rock

Episode 1.14: Mars vs. Mars. Original Airdate 2.15.05

"When a girl in school accuses Veronica's favorite teacher of sexual harassment, Veronica finds herself pitted against her father, who is hired by the girl's family to get him fired. Meanwhile, Logan enlists Veronica's help to track down his mother, who he believes is still alive."

Zelda's Thoughts:

  • Hello my ship is here and it's awkward.
  • Man, Logan. "I just need to know she's okay."
  • Oh man, Adam Scott. A delightful actor. A less than delightful character.
  • Time for the Rooks/Knight/Bishop story!
  • Did I mention I'm seeing a concert staging of Chess in Feb with revised script by Buffy's own Danny Strong? Because that's a totally on topic thing to mention. Because their last names are Chess pieces. That's the joke. That's the segue. Anyway, BE JEALOUS.
  • I ... don't love that Veronica's default is to not believe the girl making the accusation. I know she's suspicious by nature (and it is revealed that there is a lie in what Carrie says), but Veronica's a rape victim who was laughed out of the police station when she tried to report it. It's all too typical that Carrie Bishop is getting slut shamed by the school (and she is), but I would love for Veronica to buck that trend, and, you know, NOT.
  • Maybe if Mr. Rooks had existed before this episode, and become someone we'd invested in the way Veronica seems to have, as one of the good teachers, it would be less frustrating, because we'd want to believe in his innocence too.
  • Oh boy I'd forgotten that the beginning of Logan and Veronica detecting also coincided with her trying to fix things with Deputy Leo. "I used you, then fell for you, not the other way around." OKAY BUT HE'S AN ADULT AND VERONICA IS A TEEN AND THIS FEELS RELEVANT WHEN THE MYSTERY OF THE WEEK INVOLVES AN ADULT HAVING AFFAIRS WITH MINORS.
  • mannnnn the realization that the "witness" that Lynn Echolls ran away is actually a delusional nutbar. Poor Logan.
  • ...Weevil had nothing to do.
  • wow speaking of Mars vs Mars, Keith left his safe boobytrapped so Veronica got splattered with ink. "Honey, you don't have to get all blue in the face."
  • Weevil's back! Does he have something to do this time? "Finally! A Deep Throat to call my own." // "Not gonna touch that one."
  • I guess that's why Weevil was in an earlier scene with nothing to do - so he'd know Veronica was working on the Case of the Missing Echolls.
  • "Colleagues said you were .. (Veronica makes a face) Unique. (V makes a face) Gifted. (V makes a face) Unsettling?" // "I was hoping for delightful, but what can you do." boy do I relate to this. Also her faces are cracking me up:


  • "You'd destroy him." // "Destroy him? From where I stand, he's become more popular than ever. I'm the bitch that everyone hates." haha she's not wrong the world is a garbage fire.
  • And then Veronica effing slut shames her.
  • Oh look, Veronica realizes Mr. Rooks is a fucking predator after all
  • Hey guys, remember super skinny scarves?
  • Geez. I knew it was coming, but it's still gutting to see the footage of Lynn's jump. I'd also forgotten we saw that this ep, since we haven't had the Trina in the hotel stuff yet.
  • Oh wait, it's time for that part. Veronica got a message that Lynn's credit card was used.
  • "Honey, if I were in trouble, I'd want you on my side." // "Well, that's where I'd be." I love a Mars reconciliation.
  • So interesting to see Abel Koontz, who was so chilling when we saw him last, when he revealed he knew who Veronica was, and that she was Jake Kane's daughter, have the wind taken out of his sails. Veronica tells him she knows he's dying and taking the fall for Lilly's death, and suddenly he's got nothing to say. He doesn't have the shield of bravado, crowing about a murder he didn't commit.

Daniel's Thoughts:

  • See, that’s how you spell “vs.”, Batman very Superman.
  • We continue from last episode. Logan comes in and no doggie coming to greet them.  Back-Up? Where are you?
  • “Well, if she's on the TV, she must be telling the truth.” 
  • Omg,  Baby Adam Scott!  How old IS HE?  He’s playing a teacher.  He’s way older than I thought he was.  OMG, that 2000s hair. [currently 44, 32 when this aired - IMDB]

  • Oops, a student accusing young cute teacher Adam Scott of sleeping with her.  And it’s whatsherface!  From that show about the rich Upper East-Siders.
  • And weird, Veronica immediately comes to the teacher’s defense….and comforts him instead.  This is crazy.
  • Even some of the female students are pro-teacher, vilifying the student.
  • Veronica is acting like a total dick right now. She’s acting like the masses.  Believe the older man over the teenage girl.
  • She’s even using words like “witchhunt”, a word that many old male GOP sexual harrassers are using now.
  • Hey! It’s Cliff!
  • Oh, it’s Deputy Leo J  All the good recurrings now J
  • “You fell for me?” *Deputy Leo Smile*  *melt*

[Yes. - D]

  • “She must really dislike you.” “There’s a club she can join.”
  • Keith is the only one that’s reasonable here.
  • Look, it’s Skist Cola.  And look, Veronica’s putting the logo right at the camera.  Is this a real cola? I can't find it on the interwebs.  It is not.  So it's super extra funny that Veronica keeps turning it so it faces the camera like real product placement.
Cool, refreshing Skist

  • I love that the fake tabloid is “The National Instigator” since…that’s what those tabloids do.
  • I love that Weevil made like a two second cameo…since he wasn’t in the last episode.  I love Weevil, but maybe he shoulda been a recurring character.  Really, the only two that should be regulars are Keith & Veronica.
  • I love that Keith put an ink bomb in the safe that he knew Veronica would open.  And Veronica’s face, ‘Motherforker!”
  • Oh, I was wrong. Weevil’s back!
  • “So you got a trophy for a rimjob?”
  • Man, Young Adam Scott needs to shave that poor excuse for stubble.
  • It’s really gross how much Veronica doesn’t believe Carrie.  And the thing is, I don’t think tenish years ago when this aired, I would be that aware of this.  I’m hoping a lot of people have grown up since then.
  • Pretty coincidental that Koontz and Kane are so close to each other in the alphabet.
  • “These are very serious charges, Carrie,” says the “judge” – like she’s the one who is not to be believed. “He’s a very popular teacher.”  As if that’s proof of his innocence.  And Veronica’s doing everything she can to prove it.
  • “You must have a gay friend.”  As if straight men can’t decorate.  Or as if all gay men can.  Ugh. Stahp.
  • I’m glad Veronica is admitting how wrong she’s been but I wish she had seen it earlier.
  • I kinda love the way Veronica talks to annoying freshmen.
  • Seeing Weevil talk to a freshman, though.  Man, the kid looks like he could be Weevil’s son and they’re only supposed to be a few years apart.  It’s hilarious.
  • Kootnz is so damn creepy.

Favorite Lines:
Zelda: Veronica: You're patronizing me? // Keith: To be fair, I am your patron.
Daniel: "So you got a trophy for a rim job?" - Veronica

Neptune Roll Call: Wallace, Duncan, Logan, Weevil
First Appearance: Carrie Bishop, Susan Knight
Recurring: Cliff McCormack, Deputy Leo D'Amato, Vice Principal Van Clemmons, Abel Koontz
Future Famous Person: Leighton Meester, Adam Scott
Veronica's Alias: reporter for The National Instigator

Dead Humans - 1
Backup Sighting - 0
Veronica Breaks In - 1
Veronica Tases Someone - 0
Mac Hacks - 0
Who's Your Daddy? - 0
Wallace Does Veronica a Favor - 1
Veronica Wants a Pony - 0
Logan Punches Someone - 0
Dick's Single Entendres - 0
Shenanigans Called - 0
VERONICA WAS RIGHT - 1 (Carrie Bishop was lying)
VERONICA WAS WRONG - 1 (Mr. Rooks is a predator)

Tuesday, December 12, 2017

The Eagles Had a Bunch of Dudes

Episode 1.13: Lord of the Bling. Original Airdate 2.08.05

"After a wealthy music producer's daughter goes missing, Veronica almost bites off more than she can chew in her attempt to find her old friend. Meanwhile, Logan finds it difficult to show the proper emotions at his mother's wake."

Daniel's Thoughts:

  • Hey it’s Anthony Anderson!  He’s so young…ish.  Wow, and he’s lost a lot of weight since, too.  His show Black-ish is really great.

  • Oh man, blackberries. Remember them?  Apparently Lynn Echolls left a suicide note on hers.
  • Wallace has got new hair and Veronica is “resisting the urge to touch” ….which…..not cool, Veronica.  Wallace ducks away but doesn’t say why.  I think that, at the time, I didn’t realize why that was a wrong thing.  I’ve since been educated about that.  And I’m wondering if the writers knew this going in.  Article from Femcult52.
  • I love when they quote the opening song, “We used to be friends, a long time ago.” – Veronica says it this time. It really is a great theme song.  It’s catchy but it says so much about what the show is about.
  • Anthony Anderson: “We’re not talking about teenage misbehavior…” Um…spoiler.
  • “Hey Honey, What are you cooking?” “Not quite sure myself. Something that ends in –a-roni” – Aww, Veronica cooks like me.
  • In a flashback, Logan & the gang check out Yolanda and immediately comment on her race.  It’s not necessarily insulting but the microaggresion here is "You're black, but I'm still attracted to you."  It's really gross. Lilly & Logan are super guilty of it.
  • I like when Veronica voiceovers explaining detective stuff.  It’s like that USA show Burn Notice but less annoying.
  • In another flashback, Veronica wears a huge wool sweater in southern California. [Listen, it gets cold enough for sweaters in SoCal. Just not cold enough for parkas. -Z, who will soon be Christmassing in SoCal in a hoodie]
  • I love watching Logan and Aaron trying to be father and son when there’s no way they can be.  I like the subtle way Aaron tries to hold Logan’s hand and he’s super creeped out by it.
  • Were telegrams still a thing in 2005? Apparently you can - but why would anyone want to?
  • They’re totally taking advantage of the time here – all the rivalries between R&B/Rap Moguls.  Dangling someone out the window – sounds familiar.
  • Lilly:  “You should be glad.  We’re the best!”  I love Lilly so hard.
  • Melinda the Hospitality Lady is awesome but why…on Earth did the receptionist go along with this? Why would she let a complete stranger show the hotel's big guests their room? SHENANIGANS!
  • There are so many subtle lines in this episode of grown men talking about how sexy teenage girls are.  And they seem so matter-of-fact…because this is our culture.  And now 10-15 years later we’re finally talking about it publicly.  All this is coming out and how this is not okay.  But writing like this – like it’s no big deal – normalizes it and makes young men think this is okay when they get older.  It’s a never-ending circle.
  • And Logan thinks his mother is alive…because they didn’t find a body and she left something behind that she always had on her, a lighter that says “Free At Last” – All of this is great evidence – especially in tv shows.  There’s usually a rule of TV shows: No body, no death.  This is especially true for soap operas.  And all this - all good red herrings.  All reason for the audience to be with Logan, even though in real life, it’s pretty improbable.

  • “If the cops are so great, why aren’t you still one?”  good question, Anthony Anderson.
  • Watching Veronica’s mind working without her saying anything is amazing.
  • I love how Bryce just did all this to prove to his dad that he’s not soft…  It’s….weird. Sweet?  I mean. No.  It’s more toxic masculinity.  Why does he need to prove this?  And no one questions it.
  • Though, I’m glad Yolanda is getting a nice happy ending…even though she is getting married while in high school.  Yay for her and Benjamin, I guess?
  • Ooh, and nice ending.  Logan to Veronica, “I want you to find my mother.”

Zelda's Thoughts:

  • We're back! We missed you guys.
  • Aw previously, Lisa Rinna jumped off a bridge.
  • "Did she really leave a note on a Blackberry?"
  • Aw Wallace's new hair is adorable. But no, Veronica, do not touch.
  • Bone Hamilton. What a name.
  • "We used to be friends, a long time ago." It's already a dorky line but then it leads DIRECTLY into the credits singing "A long time ago, we used to be friends," andddddd I'm rolling my eyes.
  • Bone Hamilton has all the enemies. Just like Alexander!
  • "And if you buy it, he's the scariest man alive who's also launching a line of casual wear."
  • Flashback to when Duncan and Logan creeped on Yolanda. Though I do love the effect of the flashback walking past present day Veronica.
  • Gasp! Reveal that Bone's former lawyer is now partially paralyzed.
  • Hi Aaron Echolls in Mourning! I hate you. So does Logan. 
  • "Veronica his is a Mars Investigation matter. I'm Mars." // "And who am I?"
  • I love Veronica fighting for her right to be part of the investigation. Not just because she knew Yolanda, but because she's worried about her dad and his bad back.
  • Wow Veronica just jumped right in, claiming to be hotel hospitality so she can bug Dime Bag's replacement room. She's got hustle. But also I see why Keith worries.
  • Keith's slow burn glare as he realized what Veronica did, even though she did help salvage the hotel bug mission.
  • Logan to awful Aaron: "Dad, let's be honest. Maybe we both wish we'd been better. But she's only gone because of you."
  • Between the shadiness of flashback Duncan and Logan and the rapey mysogyny rampant in Dime Bag's posse, this episode is sure making me a fan of the menfolk.
  • Aaron Echolls is quitting show biz? Are we attempting a redemption arc? (HAH we know the truth about Aaron Echolls)
  • Ouch, Logan thinks his mom might not be dead. The show definitely makes a good case for the possibility over the new few episodes, but knowing the future, it just makes me sad. Logan is deep in the denial and bargaining of it all.
  • Every time Keith says "Mr. Hamilton" I get confused that no one's singing.
  • "Look, you can be mad, dad, but you can't call me soft."
  • omg Keith has to explain that there's a camera in the laptop THE PAST IS SO CUTE YOU GUYS.

  • Also I guess this means we're fully underway with the Logan Redemption Arc, as kickstarted by his mom's disappearance.


Lilly: *honks car horn* Veronica! Come on. San Diego's waiting.
Z: Get in loser, we're going shopping.
D: *high five* That's exactly what I was thinking!

Favorite Lines:

Daniel: Keith: Hey honey, what's cooking? / Veronica: Not quite sure, myself. Something that ends in -aroni.
Zelda: "And if you buy it, he's the scariest man alive who's also launching a line of casual wear." - Keith


Neptune Roll Call: Wallace, Duncan, Logan (Absent: Weevil)
Recurring: Lilly Kane, Dick Casablancas, Aaron Echolls, Harvey Greenblatt
Already Famous Person: Anthony Anderson
Veronica's Alias: Melinda the Hospitality Hostess, Lisa the Sorority Girl

Dead Humans - 0
Backup Sighting - 0
Veronica Breaks In - 0
Veronica Tases Someone - 0
Mac Hacks - 0
Who's Your Daddy? - 0
Wallace Does Veronica a Favor - 0
Veronica Wants a Pony - 0
Logan Punches Someone - 0
Logan Smashes a Camera - 1 
Dick's Single Entendres - 0
Shenanigans Called - 1