PLEASE NOTE: THIS IS A SPOILER-RICH ZONE. If your diet requires you to dine on television spoiler-free ... good luck with that.


Thursday, March 28, 2013

Love's Bitch

Episode 3.8: Lovers Walk. Original Airdate 11.24.98

"Spike returns to Sunnydale and kidnaps Willow in hopes of creating a magic spell that will make Drusilla love him again."

Zelda's Thoughts:

  • Yaaaaaaaaaay it's a Spike episode. Also other things happen.
  • "That was my sarcastic voice." // "You know, it sounds a lot like your regular voice." // "I've been told that."
  • Man, Willow, what is that shirt. What is that shirt.
Even Alyson agrees with me here

  • Buffy's scores are good for her academic future, but ... that's not something she's thought about, because being the Slayer doesn't give her a whole lot of choices. But hey, with Faith here, maybe ... nah. Faith will turn evil and Buffy will have to stay but lucky for her they're building a UC right in Sunnydale! ... :-|
  • Spike just crashed into the parking lot again. Hi Spike!
  • Awww lookit the Xander photos in Cordy's locker. STAHP WHAT YOU'RE DOING WITH WILLOW, XANDER.

  • Willow's voice is extra babyish today.
  • And Oz gave Willow a pez witch. STAHP WHAT YOU'RE DOING WITH XANDER, WILLOW.
  • Giles is going camping. Because the plot requires that he be out of the picture for Spike Hijinks.
  • Look! Angel reads! And apparently can't hear Spike talking at a not-quiet decibal right outside his not-door of the mansion. Enhanced vampire hearing, my eye.
  • Also on not hearing Spike yell and scream after he catches on fire. Justice is blind, but Angel is deaf.
  • Hi, we got past the censors
  • "We don't carry ... leprosy."
  • What ... is with the boob thing on the wall ---->
  • Seriously, Angel, you have curtains open, letting in delightful sunlight, AND you're stoking a giant fire. Someone's got suicidal thoughts.
  • "So do you really need to resort to the dark arts to keep our hormones in check?" It will not be the last time she tries that method of problem-solving.
  • "She wouldn't even kill me, she just left!" I love that that is the real crux of Spike's heartbreak. He wanted the epic lifetime only-ends-in-death love story.
  • "Beautiful jewels, beautiful dresses with beautiful girls in them."
  • "I've got an unlife, you know!"
  • "If at first you don't succeed, I'll kill him and you'll try again." Basically everything Spike says. That is my recap of the episode.
  • Joyce making Spike cocoa. Love it. Spike telling his tale of woe to EVERYONE. Love it.
  • "You got any of those little marshmallows?"
  • Ahahahaha Spike making faces at Angel behind Joyce. "You're a very bad man!" 
  • Oh Spike. Not large with the brilliant complicated plans are we? "He's probably just got them locked in the factory."
  • They totally tricked me with this. I knew, watching it the first time, that Cordelia wasn't in the show past season three, so I genuinely believed they were killing her off here.
  • Man, it's like they're not even trying to get Stunt Spike to look like JM.
  • I like that the fight is enough to make Spike feel better and realize what he should do to get Dru back (of course, it doesn't work, but ...)
  • Cut to: Funeral. Buffy: "So Cordelia's gonna be okay?" Fuck you, show.
  • Why do we think it is that Willow and Oz are ultimately able to reconcile and Xander and Cordelia aren't? If she hadn't left to go be on Angel, would they have gotten back together? [No - Anya]
  • The Musical Montage of Sad Sackness.
  • Except for Spike, who is feeling awesome about himself. And also singing again. I always forget that's how the episode ends.

Daniel's Thoughts:

  • Great.  This whole Willow/Xander thing is going to come to a conclusion in this episode.  It's about time.
  • Willow is wearing orange pants again.
  • "That was my sarcastic voice//It's sounds just like your real voice//I've been told that."  Me too.
  • Yay! Buffy got great SAT scores!  No matter, she has to stay in Sunnydale anyway.
  • Hey Spike!  Yes, I still like Spike at this point.
  • Spike is singing Frank Sinatra.  But Angel knew Frank Sinatra.
  • We're gonna boowwwwl tonight.  We're gonna booooowl toniiight.
  • Aww, Oz is so sweet with the Pez witch.
  • Xander, "I wish we can make it all stop." YES, PLEASE STOP.
  • SHENANIGANS!  They're so inconsistent with the sunlight thing.  Some vamps explode the minute sun hits them.  Spike can run up steps and jump into a car without catching too much fire.
  • The magic shop is still pretty small...  I guess when Giles buys it, he buys the three stores next to it, too.
  • Another magic shop owner's death!  We shoulda kept a stat. [2 ~Stat Gods]
  • I love the Mayor's banter.  Some say he's too much like the Master with some of his dorky lines.  I disagree.
  • Spike's Dru story is awesome.
  • It's alarming how trusting Joyce is of Spike especially with what he's telling her.
  • Really? After all that, Buffy didn't tell her mom about Angel?
  • Spike, "What do you KNOW?"  Ugh, the phrase is "What do YOU know."
  • SHENANIGANS!  How did they not hear Cordeila and Oz breaking down the door and/or walking down the stairs?
  • Ow!  Cordelia! OMG!
  • The fight scene in the magic shop is awesome.  I love the use of the holy water vials.
  • Funeral fake-out!  Cheesey, but effective.
  • Aww, Poor Cordy.  And I love her line to Xander.  She's a vengeful Cordy....
  • And Buffy's speech to Angel is so heart-breaking.
  • Awww, everyone is so sad.  I feel bad for everyone.  Except Xander.
  • And Spike is the only happy one!


Willow & Xander: *smoochies*

Favorite Lines:

Zelda: "Loose cannon. Rock the boat. Is that a mixed metaphor? ... Boats did have cannons. And a loose one would cause it to rock." - The Mayor
Daniel: "I'm pathetic! I'm illiterate! I'm Cletus, the slack-jawed yokel!" - Willow.  Yay! Simpsons reference!
90s Factoid:


Arc/Continuity Stuff:

  • Spike is back, and crashed into the Welcome to Sunnydale sign again.
  • Also, Spike is singing.
  • Also, Spike is dumped.
  • Willow owns 3,000 pink sweaters.
  • Mayor and Deputy Alan. The Mayor knows who Spike is.
  • Another Magic Shop, this one not underground.
  • Xander's outrage about Willow's anti-lust spell is based in continuity goodness: "Are you nuts, or have you forgotten that I tend to have bad luck with these sorts of spells?"
  • Spike's truce with Buffy was the beginning of the end of his romance with Dru.
  • Dru dumped in him Brazil for a slime-and-antlers chaos demon. We will meet him in Crush.
  • Joyce now knows that Angel is back, that Spike is bad, that Willow is a witch, and that Xander is a witch. Er.
  • Oz can smell Willow even when he's human. As Cordelia says, "This is very disturbing."
  • Oz and Cordelia finally catch Willow and Xander making bad life decisions.


Oz's Hair - strawberry blond
Dead Humans - 1
Dead Undeads - 4
Dead Flashbacks - 0
Giles Unconscious - 0
Giles Cleans His Glasses - 0
Buffy Breaks a Door - 0
Evil Reveal - 0
Unevil Reveal -  0
Shenanigans Called - 2
Apocalypse Called - 0

Thursday, March 21, 2013

A Bunch of Guys from Spart

Episode 3.7: Revelations. Original Airdate 11.17.98

"With some help from Faith's new watcher, Buffy seeks to destroy a weapon-like glove before it falls into the hands of a demon."

Daniel's Thoughts:

  • Ugh, just stop, Willow with the awkwardness and the trying to explain.  No one knows about you and Xander and no one wants to know.
  • Excellent duel fight scene.  I agree, Buffy - synchronized slaying should be a new Olympic category although who would they compete with?
  • Gwendolyn Post.  Ick.  She's just started talking and...can no one tell she's evil yet?
  • Shut up Gwendolyn.  The books they have already have helped them so far.
  • What's with Buffy's hat?  You're in doors, Buff, take the warm winter hat off.
"It's totally cute, right?"
  • Twelve cemeteries in Sunnydale!  That makes sense.
  • Angel still hasn't learned how to put on a shirt...
  • Oh...there it is...
  • Ok, it's been several weeks.  Angel is obviously good and he's not animal-like anymore. Isn't it about time Giles was brought in?
  • ABOAT.
  • Big vamp with Armor!  Why do they need armor??
  • Xander sees Angel.  And this is what happens when you keep secrets Buffy!  They always come out!
  • And once again, everyone gangs up on Buffy without letting her explain.  But of course, if she told Giles in the first place, this wouldn't have happened.
  • "What you just tripped and fell on his lips?"  Really Xander? Pot kettle much?
  • Aww, I don't like disappointed Giles.  But...he's right.  
  • Ugh, Xander is such a dick.  All he cares about is himself.
  • Giles! Don't tell her where the glove is! She's evil!
  • Ugh, I hate the Willow is going to confess to Buffy but is interrupted thing.  It's such a soap technique.  Makes you think a big secret is about to be revealed but then, nope.  And of course Willow changes her mind.
  • False assumptions just make my stomach hurt.
  • Fire pretty.
  • Angel & Faith's first meeting! Surprise, surprise: they're fighting.
  • And first Buffy/Faith fight, too.
  • Cool lightning affect.  Reminds me of someone:
I have the powerrrrr!
  • Aww, Angel saved Willow's life!
  • And yet - Xander is still acting self-righteous. I'd like to see what happens if he becomes a vampire. [Patience - Anyanka]
  • I think this is the first time we see Faith's transition into "The only person I can trust is me."  Sad.
  • Aboat Count: 2

Zelda's Thoughts:

  • According to set designer Carey Meyer in a special feature, "The Bronze was meant to sort of feel like a nightclub, but really was an espresso bar" (justifying, the kids hanging out there without boozing), but that got supplanted by the Espresso Pump. So now their table is full of red cups containing questionable potables.
  • "About your new boyfriend, who we made up ... unless we didn't." So cute.
  • And thus began the Buffy/Faith slashfic.
Buffy+Faith 4ever
  • Parking lot cemetery, including our pal Alpert the Mausoleum.
  • Man, fuck you, Gwendolyn Post, for being such an immediate snot. No wonder Giles has an inferiority complex about the rest of the Watchers' Council. Also, Mrs.? Where's the hubby? Where's Baron Post? (he's totally a baron. shut up)
  • "Where do you keep the rest of your books? ... The actual library?" fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck you
  • "Interesting lady ... can I kill her?" Yes. All of the yes.
  • Still haven't remembered how to wear a shirt, huh, Angel? Don't worry. These things take time.
  • Ut oh. Bangel sessual tension a-go-go.
  • Oh look. A shirt. And he buttoned it.
  • There's a lottttttttt of sunlight in Angel's mansion.
  • staaaaaaaaahp (I don't really remember what this is in reference to, but I assume it's the Bad Decisions of Xander and Willow)
  • Oh man. I'd forgotten Xander's first moment seeing Angel alive again was his taking the glove from the crypt. I guess he has reason to be suspicious.
  • And then he sees him making out with Buffy and so of course his rationality goes on a road trip to elsewhere.
  • Gawd, I HATE you, Gwendolyn Post. I'm glad you turn out to be evil so we never have to deal with you ever again.
  • And see, while the Scoobies don't have all the facts and thus don't understand what we do about Buffy and Angel, they are COMPLETELY justified in their anger with her. Completely. Because dude she's been lying about someone who, the last time any of the Scoobies saw him, was a psychopath who wanted to end the world.
  • Xander's lividness toward the Angel situation is understandable to the degree that we haven't outright said that the returned Angel is ensouled. BUT we know he will continue to hold ensouled Angel responsible for Angelus's actions, which was not something we did with previously-souled Angel, who also had plenty of carnage in his history.
  • If I ever form a band, it's gonna be called A Bunch of Guys from Spart. I will play the triangle.
  • Yay Willow who is not mad at Buffy. Though ... that's because she's got her own guilt going on.
  • Ah see, this is telling - Xander says "Angel's still alive," not "Angel's back" or "Angel's alive again." Probably in his delusion, he thinks Angel never died or went away at all (he wasn't there when Buffy told Willow and Giles the truth of her final battle with Angel), and Buffy knew the whole time.
  • "Can I come?" THIS IS WHY PEOPLE HATE YOU, XANDER. I don't hate you, but I'm damn mad at you.
  • And Faith is in many ways an easy mark for Xander's vengeance craving - she's feeling paranoid about being left out, isolated, unwanted - she'd want to take charge of a situation she'd felt been pulled out from under her.
  • "I want you to be the first to know that ... there's a demon behind you." Typical Whedon move.
  • At least Xander recognizes that knocking Giles out is not Angel's style, and that he tries to stop her from running off.
  • But then two (TV) seconds later, Xander says "Your boyfriend's not as cured as you thought." Ugh stop.
  • Man, writers, stop making the actors read Latin.
  • I'm glad they're finally taking a Giles-is-unconscious moment seriously.
  • I don't know why it's always funny to me when Angel gets knocked out, but it is.
  • Angel's in gameface! And sounding way more bantering than in previous episodes this season. I guess he's all better.
  • Faith throws Xander against a wall. Me: Aww, poor Kelly.
  • Oh. Mrs. Post is evil AND wearing the glove. oops.
  • Mansion's getting trashed.I think Angel should move. Again.
  • Shenanigans! Even with slayer-strength behind the throw, I don't think a shard of glass would have sliced through tendon and muscle, let alone bone, to cut off Mrs. Post's evil arm.
  • "Sounds like we missed a lot of fun." // "Then we're telling it wrong."
  • "Boy, do I not know." {subtext: boy, do I not care.)
  • Xander trusts Buffy again. Yay?
  • "They swear there was a memo." More fodder for Giles's inferiority complex.
  • Cordelia doesn't trust Buffy. And clearly, neither does Faith.
  • And it's sad, because Faith so clearly wants friends, a place to belong, but she feels betrayed by Buffy, and it's a feeling she's so used to, it's not something she'll get over that easily. She can't trust Buffy, so she'll keep pushing her and the rest of the Scoobies away, so when her Big Mistake happens, there'll be nowhere for her to go, but to the arms of the Mayor.


Z: Nice little couch set.
D: Yeah. Where did he get it? The IKEA in hell?
Z: But it's the same mansion from before!
D: Yeah, I heard Drusilla loves IKEA.

Favorite Lines:

Daniel: "Interesting lady. Can we kill her?" - Buffy
Zelda: "I won't remind you that the fate of the world often lies with the Slayer. What would be the point? Nor shall I remind you that you've jeopardize the lives of all that you hold dear by harboring a known murderer. But sadly, I must remind you that Angel tortured me ... for hours ... for pleasure. You should have told me he was alive. You didn't. You have no respect for me, or the job I perform." - Giles, breaking my heart.

90s Factoid:

Faith's TV has rabbit ears.

Arc/Continuity Stuff:

  • Devon again. He's having a money month!
  • There are twelve cemeteries within the Sunnydale city limits. Sunnydale is a city???
  • Buffy and Angel have their first kiss since his return.
  • Everyone knows Angel's back now.
  • Buffy and Faith have their first battle.


Oz's Hair - strawberry blond
Dead Humans - 1
Dead Undeads - 3
Dead Flashbacks - 0
Giles Unconscious - 1
Giles Cleans His Glasses -0
Buffy Breaks a Door - 1
Evil Reveal - 1 (Mrs. Post)
Unevil Reveal - 0
Shenanigans Called - 1
Apocalypse Called - 0

Tuesday, March 5, 2013

Whoa Summers, You Drive like a Spaaaaz

Episode 3.6: Band Candy. Original Airdate 11.10.98

"Adults throughout Sunnydale behave like immature teenagers after they eat cursed candy."

Zelda's Thoughts:

  • This episode is a love letter to the amazingness of Tony Head and Armin Shimerman. And you know it.
  • But Giles, what is that scarf. Did we learn nothing from Nightmares?
  • This season does so well to set up its arc. Yes, we've got a monster of the week, but it's because the Mayor's got to do his tribute.
  • "There's this whole trick to antonyms, but um ... this isn't the place."
  • "What? I can't have layers?"
  • "Why do I put up with this?" // "Because it is your destiny. And because I just bought 20 cocoriffic candy bars."
  • Giles getting hit in the head with a ball. 
Never not funny.

  • Oh look. Buffy's lying to everyone about where she is because of Angel Reasons. THIS WILL NOT END WELL, BUFFY.
  • Aw, Angel remembers Scott. And Buffy's already forgotten him. Awkward.
  • Joyce and Giles, eatin' the chocolate.
  • I like that Giles, the most mature and awesomest adult, is the first one to slip into teenagerness. "Yeh." he says. "Yeh."
  • "I like chocolate. There is no bad here."
  • "The big pinhead librarian didn't show  up and I don't wanna do it." I AM LAUGHING AT EVERYTHING SNYDER SAYS. "Everyone expects me to do everything around here because I'm the principal. It's not fair."
  • Ugh. Miss Barton is NOT a good actress. Not at ALL.
  • "What? Excuse me, I meant WHAT?"
  • Buffy drives as well as Cher Horowitz.
She totally paused!

  • Aw Joyce wants to be cool like Giles, but she's not.
  • I love when Tony Head uses his own accent.
  • Awwwwwwwww did you see how Oz lit up when he saw Willow? STAHP IT WITH XANDER, WILLOW.
  • Miss Barton, go away. Please. You're a bad actor.
  • Snyder Snyder Snyder you are my favorite. I love you so much. Armin Shimerman is so amazing.

  • "They're acting like a bunch of us." // "I don't act like this."
  • Ethan Rayne, you are marvelous.
  • I love that Snyder is tagging along. He even hops in the car. I freaking LOVE that.
  • Parkling lot playground - is this also where Drusilla and Angel were? and the Gingerbread children hang out?
  • I love how involved Snyder is, listening intently and excitedly in the car. 
  • "OH Ripper, wow, that was so brave." She sounds like a teenager, awesome delivery.
  • "Oooh, copper's got a gun!"
  • Aaaaaaaah Giles and Joyce are making out whaaaah.
  • This alleyway outside the candy factory looks suspiciously like the alleyway outside the Bronze. And outside everything ever.
  • "I'm your watcher, so you do what I tell you. Now sod off!"
  • "Hey! Britface! Wait up."
  • My favorite chase scene ever - when they run through the same aisle of boxes about five times in a row.
  • Also, soundtrack, staaaaaaaaahp playing romantic strummy music under their illicit feelings. STOP MAKING IT ROMANTIC WHEN IT'S DUMB.
  • Giles's little hop of glee when she punches Ethan. So the best:

  • I think chocolate is the best macguffin ever.
  • Giles is wearing his earring.
  • nooooooooooooooooooooes don't take the babies
  • I do appreciate how gentle the henchvamps were with the babies. Did we see how carefully they cradled them? 
We're going to feed you to a demon, yes we are! Yes we are!

  • "I took Tae Kwon Do at the Y." Snyder, never change. 
I just made white belt

  • Haha teenage Giles still remembers his reading. And looks so impressed with himself.
  • The Mayor, calling about sewer maintenance while doing his tribute ritual: I just ... I love him.
  • So the Mayor sneaks out before Buffy can see him. I guess all she sees are the henchvamps and Trick.
  • I guess when babies can't be had, Lurconis is chill with eating a henchvamp.
  • Stupid Giles, interfering and allowing Trick to escape.
  • Okay, I can't resist. Here are a bunch of funny gifs. This is the most giffable episode ever.

Daniel's Thoughts:

  • SAT Prep in a cemetary!
  • And I love "we haven't had 'B' in forever".  That's how I picked my multiple choice.
  • I may not like Mr. Trick but he is certainly a swanky dresser.
  • "Isn't she cute when she's proud?"//"She's always cute."  I think if Facebook had been around, Oz would be one of those annoying people who constantly praise their girlfriend in status updates.
  • Yeah, I don't get why non-band people have to sell band candy.  It's a bit contrived but to make this awesome episode, I'll allow it.
  • Worst. Mom. Ever. She's a slayer.  She has tons of responsibility and she does it well.  And yet driving is too much?  I don't get it, Joyce.
  • Giles getting hit on the head with the dodgeball is hilarious.  Especially since it's pretty impossible that he didn't see it coming.  His impaired vision includes lack of peripheral?
  • Looks like Angel forgot how to put a shirt on again.  Shame.
We approve.

  • Angel asks about Scott.  Aww, Scott (I miss you Scott!)
  • Ethan Rayne!!!  You know it's going to be an awesome episode with Ethan Rayne in it.  I mean, this is a guy dedicated to causing's a lot of fun times there.
  • Oh man, they're continuing the stupid Willow/Xander flirtation thing.  KILL ME.
  • Oh, Snyder. You're awesome.
  • Did Buffy really not notice her mom until the camera panned over to her?  She's...sitting right there. Again, what's with the lack of peripheral vision?
Where's mom?

Oh, there she is.

  • Giles is smoking!  Something evil must be going on!
  • The old people just looks embarrassing.
  • "Willow, that's a tree!"
  • What's great about the writing is that the adults are using slang from their own teenage years and not trying to be like kids in the 90s.
  • I'm glad Willow points out that she doesn't act like's definitely extreme which is, I suppose, purposeful.  It's not just that the adults are acting like kids - but like drunk or stoned teenagers.
  • "It just gets more upsetting" - Yep...
  • Ok, cause like the mailman is reading the mail.  Is that really a teenage thing to do or a sociopath thing to do.  And...same thing?
  • "Something's weird."//"Something's not?" Hehe.
  • Oz mentions his parents.  I want to meet Oz's parents!
  • I think this is one of Kristine's best-acted episodes, too.  I really believe 70s teen Joyce.
  • Giles: "Hit him!" Hee.
  • Oh no!  The tiny babies!  Well this has taken an interesting twist.
  • Lurconis is a badly constructed demon.  It's just another penis.  I mean penis.  I mean snake.
  • Giles/Joyce awkwardness!  While I love that this comes back in Earshot, I think it's kind of a missed opportunity right there.

A Note:

This is our first Ethan Rayne episode since the untimely passing of Robin Sachs, and we wanted to take this moment to remember him, and mourn his passing. Robin Sachs passed away on February 1st of this year, at the age of 61. Even though his character Ethan Rayne appeared in only four episodes in the seven seasons of Buffy, his impact was indelible, memorable. He was deliciously evil, just incompetent enough that even when Buffy caught him, it wasn't that big a deal when he would get away, over and over again. Also he was British, which always helps. And his presence on Buffy continued in Chaos Bleeds,  an awesome video game that starred Ethan Rayne as the big bad. (Missed Opportunity?)  Of course his work expanded beyond the Mutant Enemy universe, with many stage, screen, and television credits to his name, in addition to countless voiceovers. He left us before his time, and he will be missed. We thank him for his work, and will continue to remember him.


Zelda vs the show:
"This is a big meal? It's only like four babies. It should be TWELVE babies."

Favorite Lines:

Zelda: Our title this week: "Whoa, Summers! You drive like a spaaaaaaaaaaz." - Snyder
Daniel:"Kiss Rocks? Why would anyone want to...oh." - Willow

Arc/Continuity Stuff:

  • The Mayor and Trick are plottin' away.
  • Snyder's here, but he's not in on the plot.
  • Buffy's not allowed to drive.
  • Gasp! Ethan Rayne is here! He is in on the plot.
  • Buffy, Cordy, Willow, and Xander all have study hall together, which Giles typically supervises. Because of reasons.
  • Devon and the band are here.
  • Giles still has his eyegon tattoo.
  • Xander has Cordelia's Homecoming Campaign flyer in his locker.


Oz's Hair - strawberry blond - or as Snyder says, "You've got great hair."
Dead Humans - 1
Dead Undeads - 5
Dead Flashbacks - 0
Giles Unconscious - 0
Giles Cleans His Glasses - 0
Buffy Breaks a Door - 0
Evil Reveal - 0
Unevil Reveal - 0
Shenanigans Called - 0
Apocalypse Called - 0