PLEASE NOTE: THIS IS A SPOILER-RICH ZONE. If your diet requires you to dine on television spoiler-free ... good luck with that.


Tuesday, March 29, 2016

A Sea Captain or Something

Episode 6.16: Hell's Bells. Original Airdate 3.05.02

"It's the day of Xander and Anya's wedding. Emotions are running high with Xander's dysfunctional family clashing with Anya's demon friends. The ceremony is disrupted when an old man claiming to be the future Xander shows up."

Zelda's Thoughts:

  • omg we're back you guys! we missed you
  • They're reenacting the Passion of the Christ across the street from my apartment. Like, in the street in front of the church. There are centurions and everything. Daniel and I just watched the 39 lashes.
  • I wonder if SMG demanded that her dress not have the absolutely horrific sleeves that the other bridesmaid dresses have.
  • Aw shoutout to Willow being Jewish.
  • They're singing outside now. At least it's distracting me from how horrible Xander's family is
  • "Nothing on Earth can stop this wedding now." Oh Xander. What were you thinking? Or were you even thinking at all? (I told you back in season two I use this a lot)
  • So this bit about Xander's cummerbund not fitting is because we've been seeing Xander chowing down in every episode this season, but was that done because Nicky had gained weight, or is this a chicken-egg situation?
  • "Who do you think you are, like a sea captain or something?" Bless Anya. I think I missed you most of all during our hiatus.
  • "It's probably the blush of imprudent spending." I want to start using that. I think I imprudently spend enough to warrant it.
  • "I get to be with my best friend forever!" Man, how did we not see it coming? [They are going to be together forever!!! - Ten-Years-Ago-Daniel]
  • Well, I'll tell you, because I remember watching this one live. The episode is mostly played for laughs, wedding drama hijinks, and we know that the badness will be vanquished, so we assume the wedding will still happen, even if stuff goes wrong. And then Xander punches us in the guts.
  • yay D'Hoffryn!
  • Oh Dawn also doesn't have the horiffic sleeves on her sea monster dress. So just the Summers girls lucked out. Iiiiiiiiiiinteresting.
  • Haha Clem is my hero: "Well, there are ancient ways ... Clowning as an occupation, grew out of the commedia del'arte, and uh ancient sports, of course."
  • Is it bad that I think this demon is cute even with his tentacle face?  [Nah, he's totes cute - D]

  • I kinda wish they'd used twin Kelly again, and put one of them in old age makeup, for the Future Xander Harris character here. Although since he turns out to be a con artist, I guess this is okay.
  • Ugh can we just "accidentally" kill Xander's gross dad?
  • Awww in fake future, Buffy's dead. again.
  • Then again, the old age makeup on Anya in these fake future scenes is bad. so maybe it's just as well they cast a real old man.
  • That whole sequence was really upsetting, you guys. Poor fake future Xander and Anya.
  • Not Future Xander pronounces Anya as "Unya." That shoulda been our clue. Really, though, someone on set should have caught that. It's ANGelus/AnGELus all over again.
  • "She seems like a very nice attempt at making me jealous."
  • "Yeah it hurts." // "I'm sorry ... or - Good!" *snort*
  • "It's nice to watch you be happy ... you glow." IS SHE EFFULGENT, SPIKE? IS SHE?
  • No lie, I love that scene between Buffy and Spike. Too bad their whole dynamic changes episode to episode and it's gonna be toxic for basically the rest of the season.

  • Anya's vows are distinctly the best part of this episode.
  • I wonder if Tito is a groomsman, or if the entire wedding party is the Scooby gang plus Halfrek.
  • I was really hoping we'd get to see Tito again, you guys.
  • Hey um guys. How come Halfrek is out sitting with the rest of the congregation? She's wearing the hideous dress, shouldn't she be helping the bride prep with the rest of the wedding party? What the fuck? Oldest friend my foot. Shenanigans you guys.
  • I've been in two wedding parties so I'm now an expert.
  • Aww SMG can juggle! (I searched but could not find a gif. You have failed me, internet)
  • We got a good old fashioned wedding brawl!
  • Willow rescued Tara!
  • gasp! it's not Old Man Xander after all. gasp!
  • How come none of the demons in attendance are mad when Buffy and Xander kill a demon? Instead they're like gosh let's sit down for the wedding now
  • Or not, more fighting for all.
  • This episode's kinda weirdly put together. It feels like a bit of a rush job, even if the emotionally heartbreaking stuff is still really well done.

Daniel's Thoughts:

  • It’s time. This should be a happy episode, right?
  • It’s a wedding! HAPPY, RIGHT?
  • Buffy the bridesmaid
  • Wow, those dresses are pretty bad. Why does Willow’s dress have those awful arms? Buffy’s at least has better sleeves.

Tara and Willow drew the short straw.

  • What's funny is that I think Anya actually thinks they look good.
  • Anya’s so happy! IT'LL LAST.
  • And that hug.  I love Anya's hugs. They're hugs the way you hugged when you were a little kid - so full of emotion and earnestness.
  • “It’s the happiest day of my life,” *thunder*
  • Xander’s parents are so awful; which I guess is the point.
  • “Nothing on Earth can stop this wedding, now.” - Man, Xander’s really good at the jinxing.
  • I like when Buffy is happy for Xander and Anya.
  • Oh man, Anya’s vows.
  • “Take care of my heart, won’t you please…?” It’s just so sad, knowing what’s going to happen.
  • Hey, did Willow just compliment Anya?
  • “I get to be with my best friend forever!” I…it’s just so sad.
  • Dawn’s dress, weirdly, doesn’t look terrible.
  • Interesting that Hallie is in her demon face.
  • Man, Anya knows a lot of demons
  • I’m so glad we never saw Xander’s parents before this if this is the way they are. They’re just so gross. (I know we kinda saw his dad in Restless)
  • I wish Giles was back for the wedding. I think he’d want to see this and maybe he could have helped somehow.
  • The old man is like 3-4” shorter than Xander. I know older people shrink but… He looks nothing like Xander. And he has both eyes. SPOILER! [OMG THAT'S THE REAL CLUE - Z]
  • Oh Xander, you know better than to look at shiny objects. Or maybe you don’t.
  • In the “flash forward”, why doesn’t Anya still own the shop?
  • This kitchen is right out of a 1950s sitcom.
  • The old man has none of Xander’s inflections.
  • Was Spike even invited? Would Anya & Xander have invited him?
  • Oh man. Spike just walked out of the church. It’s daytime. Zelda: At least it’s cloudy? Me: Grrrr.
  • Sex Poodle. Lol.  We wanted to name this post Sex Poodle, but we figured we'd get the wrong kind of hits.
  • “I finally get love” Awww.
  • Omg, this Dawn flirting with the cute teenaged angsty demon is kind of awesome.
  • Wow, Buffy’s good at juggling!
  • The thing is – the stupid demon is right. It didn’t take much to convince stupid Xander.
  • And now, this is when you guys go elope. Right? It all ends happy, right???
  • It’s so sad. When Anya is still trying to convince him knowing she’s fighting a losing battle.
  • Willow is being sympathetic towards Anya – she’s 2 for 2.
  • That final shot with Anya seemingly accepting her fate of returning to vengeance demonism.

Favorite Lines:
Zelda: "Well, there are ancient ways ... Clowning as an occupation, grew out of the commedia del'arte, and uh ancient sports, of course." - Clem
 'I, Anya, promise to ... love you, to cherish you, honor you, uh, but not to obey you, of course, because that's anachronistic and misogynistic and who do you think you are, like a sea captain or something?' - Anya

Arc/Continuity Stuff:

Recurring: Tara, Xander's dad (recast), D'Hoffryn, Halfrek, Clem
First (and only) appearance of the oft-mentioned Uncle Rory
Shoutout to Xander and Willow getting it on in formal wear

Anya's Hair - long, blonde, curly, gorgeous
Dead Humans - 0
Dead Undeads - 1
Dead Flashbacks - 0
Buffy Breaks a Door - 0
Xander Breaks Anya's Heart - 1
Evil Reveal - 1 (Not Future Xander)
Unevil Reveal - 0
Shenanigans Called - 1
Apocalypse Called - 0