PLEASE NOTE: THIS IS A SPOILER-RICH ZONE. If your diet requires you to dine on television spoiler-free ... good luck with that.


Wednesday, January 27, 2016

A Muscle Cramp...In Your Pants?

Episode 6.14: Older and Far Away.Original Airdate 2.12.02 

"After Dawn talks to a guidance counselor about her feeling lonely, she accidentally puts a spell on Buffy and her friends, trapping them inside the Summer's house with a sword-wielding demon."

Zelda's Thoughts:

  • It's happy birthday Buffy!
  • Why does Dawn have an anteroom to her bedroom? Like, seriously, WHY.
And why is there a table there?
  • Oh Dawn. Why are you stealing all the things.
  • TAWIST. Halfrek's pretending to be a guidance counselor.
  • It's actually pretty clever - since we saw her only in veiny demon form in her first episode, she might not be immediately recognized by everyone.
  • So, I remember when this episode aired, everyone on the message boards got all excited about Buffy's new friend Sophie. And then she never showed up again. But that didn't stop fans from shipping her with Clem. And possibly writing fic about it. I can kind of see it? They're both very sweet.
  • Aw I bet Sarah missed these opportunities to be funny. (Willow appears, making Tara feel awkward. Buffy: "I have to, wit the thing that I, uh ... Coming!")
  • Clem is back! And he's been sufficiently rewritten to be sweet and adorable and one of my favorite recurrings. 
  • So ... how'd Dawn get the jacket out of the store with the security tag still on it? [There are ways.  -Not D]
  • Dude the weapons chest Xander made is gorgeous. I want one!
  • gasp Halfrek's a demon gasp
  • Gotta feel bad for Richard. Got invited to a stranger's birthday party as an obvious fix up.
  • Tara shutting Spike down is the best though.
  • "We do not joke about eating people in this house!"
  • Dawn, darling, please stop taking people's desire to not be stuck in a house for the rest of their lives personally. This stuff is why Dawn gets a bad rap.
  • Oh, look, it's another GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT. This is also why Dawn gets a bad rap.
  • Richard's kinda dumb. And judgmental. "I don't think that's a skin condition."
  • How stupid are they to carry him upstairs when he has a cut like that? Put him on the couch maybe, but why risk exacerbating the injury with stairs?
  • So like ... why don't they just call some EMT guys and have them get stuck in the house too? We know (from the future) that the Summers house can hold a lot of people. Just ... they should get actual medical help for poor boring stupid cute Richard.
  • I really don't like how Anya goes after Willow. Emma's really great at it, but I don't like how she's treating her, out of fear.
  • But then Tara is lovely. "Hey, you're gonna back off. She said no."
  • I'd say Anya's being out of character, but we see this again, this cruel striking out when she feels cornered and terrified, when she accuses Buffy of being "lucky" in S7 and we all want to punch her.
  • Emma Caulfield is amazing in this ep though, I gotta say.
  • I find it kind of weird that they keep doing the fake out with not really killing vengeance demons - this comes back again next season - for anyone paying attention, we're not tricked for a minute.
  • I've read some fanfic that tracks how Cecily became a vengeance demon. There's some cleverness tying her rejection of William to a controlling father, which is why she's the patron demon of unhappy children. Also Paul (one of our commentors) tell us that the non-canon comics also follow this narrative.
  • And now they're walking Richard down the stairs upright. WHY ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL YOUR BORING FRIEND.

Daniel's Thoughts:

  • Buffy’s getting ready for that wintry night in southern California.  You let it go.
  • And what’s with this hat she borrowed from Willow’s collection.  Or Blossom’s? 

And in my opinionation, the sun is gonna surely shine!

  • It’s nice that Buffy’s close enough with Tara that she wants her at her party.
  • Dawn said ‘hey’ that reminded me of Buffy.  Weird thing.  But I wasn’t looking at the screen and thought it was Buffy.  
  • Why doesn’t Dawn have friends? Where’s Janice?  It’s weird that she’s always relying on her sister’s friends.
  • I’m not sure if we’re supposed to know that’s Hallie yet.  BUT I KNOW.
  • Sophie!
  • Anya: “We invited someone for you.  *whispers* A guy…”  Hehehe.
  • Willow’s all worried about what she looks like. And Z and I agree that she should change that dumb shirt.
  • Oh, the awkwardness.  I love it. They’re actually really good at it.
  • CLEM!
  • Also, Richard.  Such a 90s style soap dreamboat.
  • Man, Anya.  With the treating Dawn like she’s 10.
  • All the fun awkwardness in this episode is really well written and acted.
  • “I offered helpful suggestions from a safe distance.”
  • Hey Sophie!
  • It’s alarming that Tara’s not more disturbed.  She seems downright delighted at the Spike/Buffy thing.  Especially when way back when they saw Buffybot boinking Spike, She called her insane or something.
  • Tara’s playing poker!
  • Hey.  Hey, look at all that natural light hitting Spike.  And hey.  Hey, look at him not exploding. You let it go.
  • OMWF reference.
  • Tara’s the only one who seems to get what it’s like to be a teenager.
  • Why is Spike by the door? He. Will. Burn. Up. If the spell works.
  • The visual effects with the demon falling through the door are kinda cool.
  • Richard!
  • Has anyone tried calling someone?
  • Wow. Anya has some major claustrophobia issues.
  • Aww, Spike’s trying to save Xander.
  • Buffy: “Are you ok?” Dawn, “Do you care?” Me: *eyeroll*
  • Eh, while I like Tara’s sudden valiance, it’s a little bit contrived. [I dunno, she's grown a lot this season. I think leaving Willow has been great for her gumption. - Z]
  • Lots of Anya this episode and a lot of the problems she has with people are coming out.  Too bad it never gets resolved.
  • Oops, Halfrek.  But Anya should know a sword can't kill a vengeance demon.  Nice seeing her kick some ass anyway.
  • And Hallie calls her on it, which is nice.
  • Love this moment where Spike/Hallie seem to know each other. BUT ARE CECILY AND HALLIE THE SAME PERSON?  ...this was discussed in the comments section of our last blog post.
  • Sort of a Deus Ex Machina ending….but pretty clever as well. 

Favorite Lines:

Zelda: "I don't know. He seemed ... cute. Was he cute? I mean, I'm not a very good judge, but I think he seemed cute." // "I think he seemed cute, yeah." - Tara and Clem, ruining Spike's evening
Daniel: “We invited someone for you.  *whispers* A guy…”   ~Anya

Arc/Continuity Stuff:

  • Recurring: slug candles, Dawn's kleptomania, Tara, Clem, Halfrek
  • Shoutout to that time Xander summoned Sweet to Sunnydale
  • Gentle reminder that impaling a vengeance demon with a sword will not kill the vengeance demon. Remember this next season.
  • Nod at the double casting of Kali Rocha with Halfrek and Spike recognizing each other.
Anya's Hair - blonde, straight, twist clipped
Dead Humans - 0
Dead Undeads - 1
Dead Flashbacks - 0
Buffy Breaks a Door - 0
Evil Reveal - 0
Unevil Reveal - 0
Shenanigans Called - 0
Apocalypse Called - 0

Wednesday, January 20, 2016

Deep Tropical Cellular Tan

Episode 6.13: Dead Things. Original Airdate 2.05.02

"After Jonathan, Andrew, and Warren accidentally kill Warren's ex-girlfriend Katrina, they set up Buffy to make her believe it was she who killed the girl."

Daniel's Thoughts:

  • Ew. You know it's going to be a bad episode when it starts with Spuffy Sex.
  • And why are they covered in rugs? How did that work? Is the crypt more comfortable than the rugs? Also, why does Spike have so many rugs?
  • Seriously? Spike's really asking the "where is this going?" question?
  • Ugh, the trio. I'm saying 'ugh' a lot this season.
  • "We can make any woman our willing sex slave," aka, "we can rape any woman we want." Great guys. And you wonder why you're loathed.
  • Tara!
  • But also, why doesn't Tara have a job? It's not like her family supports her.
  • Aww, she's worried about Willow so much.
  • Jonathan: "Red head's too tall." Heh.
  • Stop saying bazoombas.
  • *SHENANIGANS* It's nice that Warren put on the sunglasses so the extreme hypnotizing light didn't work on him. But what about the 100 other patrons at that bar? Why didn't it affect them?
  • This is so gross and sick what they're doing.
  • "Is there singing?" "Visible and everything." - throwbacks to two eps in one scene!
  • So the other two don't know about Katrina.
  • I really hate Andrew, but Tom Lenk is pretty hilarious.
  • Amelinda Embry (Katrina) is playing this really well.
  • Jesus. When Katrina finally says the R word, their reactions. Jonathan and Andrew. Because they're stupid little boys who were never taught to respect women. They really thought what they were doing wasn't wrong.
  • And this is the episode where they become true villains.
  • I like Anya & Xander's outfits; it matches their dancing.
  • Ugh. There I go again. Ugh. Can we fast-forward this part? Seriously? No-one sees this happening on the balcony?
  • Aww Tara and Willow awkwardness.
  • Put a shirt on, Spike.
  • I guess the trio is doing their weird physics time thing again.
  • This episode makes me want to watch DoubleMeat Palace again.
  • Weird sex/murder dreams!
  • I think the first time I saw this, I was on Buffy's side. She was doing the right thing. But I think I understand Dawn's side more now. While I think Dawn is a little over the top about it, she's right about Buffy wanting to escape. There were other solutions Buffy could have thought of. She knows something was off with the time/physics stuff.
  • "No one will ever find her." Cop: "Where'd they find her?" 2nd Cop: "The River." Spike: "Oh Balls."
  • See how helpful Anya is? They so don't appreciate her.
  • The reactions to getting away with murder are at least consistent of what I think of the three. Jonathan is the only one who is a bit wary. Which is why a lot of his choices confuse me.
  • This scene with Tara kills me. SMG is so good. She's so sure that something's wrong with her. It's this deep depression Buffy has that ... I think I'm seeing more clearly than I ever have. It's way more well done than I ever remembered. It's akin to Gretchen's current story on You're the Worst. [No spoilers! - Z]
  • So heartbreaking.

Zelda's Thoughts:

  • All right, this is the episode where the nerds are actually called out to their faces for their misogyny and treatment of women as objects, and yet behold how the idiots still follow Warren, the worst of them around (even if Jonathan is showing more resistance).
  • But first! Spike and Buffy having sex under a rug.
  • "Are we having a conversation?" // "What? No. No. Maybe." Is this the first time they approach functionality as a couple? Too bad it won't last. 
  • "Do you even like me?" // "Sometimes."
  • Cerebral Dampener. To make pretty women extra brainless and compliant. Warren, you are the fucking worst. And you want to use it on your ex who dumped you when she found out you made and abandoned a robot girlfriend who then tried to murder her. WHY HAVEN'T WE KILLED WARREN YET, YOU GUYS.
  • Wow, tumblr has changed me. Even though I still think Amber is mediocre, Tara showed up at the Doublemeat Palace to visit Buffy and I said "AWWWWWWW" because Tara is a good friend, y'all.
  • I have the strange urge to watch Shelby Woo to cleanse my Adam Busch palate. Do you guys remember Shelby Woo?
  • Dawn, stop giving Buffy passive aggressive attitude because she's trying to keep you from becoming homeless by working a menial job. This shit right here is why I couldn't stand Dawn on first watch.
  • ugh this plot is so gross. I mean, it's supposed to be, but just ugh.
  • Why didn't Warren just make a Katrinabot, since he's basically turned Katrina into a bot. Because he wanted to dominate the real Katrina. He wanted to punish her. To trick himself into thinking the real Katrina was his object.
  • "This is not some fantasy ... it's rape!" The tiny bit of credit I can give Jonathan and Andrew is their shock when she calls it rape - which it fucking is - but then they do try to stop her from leaving anyway.
  • So much for being villains. They didn't want real consequences. Boys playing with toys where everything's pretend. But Katrina's dead now.
  • Warren's not freaked out the way they are. He's just trying to get out of it, get around it, deflect the consequence and the responsibility of his action.
  • 'WE'RE ON UPN NOW" say the writers as Buffy and Spike have anal sex on the balcony.
  • It's a pretty cool slash scary sequence, the time-jumping deception the Trio use to trick Buffy into thinking she accidentally killed Katrina.
  • The horror Buffy's feeling, thinking she's killed Katrina? THAT'S WHAT YOU SHOULD HAVE FELT, WARREN, YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE.
  • "Dawnie, I have to." These writers are mean, invoking the line Buffy spoke before she jumped off the tower. It's the line Buffy uses when she's leaving Dawn behind - in life, or in freedom - since here, it's when she's about to turn herself in to the police.
  • Oh, apparently Sunnydale has a river. Okay, sure, why not.
  • The argument between Spike and Buffy here is mirroring so much the same argument Buffy had with Faith when Faith accidentally killed Finch. 
  • And then with the "you're dead inside. you can't feel anything real," we've got the parallel with Faith-in-Buffy beating up Buffy-in-Faith in Who Are You.
  • There's some really good work happening in this episode. It's hard to watch, but it's well done.
  • Ugh. "We really got away with murder. That's ,,, kind of cool." Stupid stupid Andrew.
  • Oh no, Buffy's gonna cry, you guys. 
  • "I didn't come back wrong?" She needs for there to be something wrong with her. Because that makes it not her, it makes it an exterior problem. But if there's nothing wrong with her, then everything is wrong with her.
  • "Do you love him? It's okay if you ...and Buffy, it's okay if you don't."
  • "Please don't forgive me, please."
  • You guys, this season is so upsetting.

Here, if you guys are feeling sad, just look at SMG laughing in the dailies!

Favorite Lines:
Daniel: "Come share in the joy of our groove thang." - Anya
Zelda:  "Do you love him? It's okay if you do. He's done a lot of good, and he does love you. And Buffy, it's okay if you don't." - Tara

Arc/Continuity Stuff:

  • Recurring: the Trio, Jonathan's Magic Bone, Tara, Katrina, Gina (old lady cashier at Doublemeat)
  • Dawn's friend Janice still exists. Off-screen.
  • Shoutouts to Once More With Feeling and Gone.
  • Jonathan masquerading as Katrina a callback to his impersonation of a demon in Life Serial.


Anya's Hair - blonde, soft waves, and then some weird messy pull-back.
Dead Humans - 1
Dead Undeads - 3
Dead Flashbacks - 0
Buffy Breaks a Door - 0
Evil Reveal - 0
Unevil Reveal - 0
Shenanigans Called - 1
Apocalypse Called - 0

Tuesday, January 12, 2016

Theory #5: Cat Burgers

Episode 6.12: Doublemeat Palace. Original airdate: 1.29.02 

"When Buffy gets a job at the Doublemeat Palace, a local fast-food restaurant, she begins to believe that disappearing co-workers and the secret ingredient to the restaurant's hamburger may be connected."

Zelda's Thoughts:

  • omg you guys we're back! I can't believe it's been over two months.
  • Ugh. Daniel, why do you like this episode? It's weird and dumb.
  • Bless Anya, once again celebrating compensation for the work you do. Even if it's demoning or working in food service.
  • And then Xander and Willow are just awful to her. Again. I'm solidly jumping with Daniel onto Team Anya in this scene.
  • Aw poor Buffy. Orange stripes is not her color. Though her haircut still looks cute.

  • Time to renew my anger that the Council doesn't pay Buffy some kind of stipend.
  • Also time to renew my anger that Willow continues to not contribute to the expenses of the Summers household. To say nothing of dirtbag Hank Summers.
  • "I'm Manny the Manager. It's not a joke. It's just my name."
  • I mean the episode works in terms of metaphorizing a life experience, so in that respect I guess it's old school BTVS. But I still hate it.
  • Pretty sure Manny the Manager's glasses are non-prescription. Does that make him the original hipster?
  • Good casting with Manny the Manager, I must say. He's sufficiently creepy and blah.
  • Music is good, for giving this sense of Buffy being hypnotized into fast food peon stupor.
  • Man. Y'all know I love Spike, but he's pretty obnoxious this episode. "Service me." *slaps Spike* You can be better.
  • Are timecards still a thing?
  • "But I don't know how to grill." // "Just think - this is the last day you'll ever be able to say that." Manny the Manager is now reminding me of an old boss. Every time they gave me a new task or responsibility (while not giving me anything resembling a raise), he'd say how good this was for my resume and blah blah blah and like dude this is my day job. I'm not looking for a career.
  • Wait is this Hallie's first appearance? Why did I feel like we'd seen her before (no no no I'm not nodding at the fact that Kali Rocha also played William's love Cecily)
  • Ugh Amy, go away.
  • Aw, black-eyed Willow. Stupid Amy.
  • Too bad this continues the complete rewrite of how magic used to function on this show before they turned it into a metaphor for drug addiction.
  • Aw Buff's meltdown is adorable. "It's people!"
  • Aw Manny the Manager is dead.
  • The only reason I'm glad we're at this episode is I get to reuse this gag:
Did someone say Dick Demon?

  • Ugh this dick demon is particularly gross.
  • Yay Willow cut Amy out of her life good plan.
  • It's such a weird random twist, that Doublemeat is closeted vegetarian. Well, sort of, it's vegetables rendered in beef fat.
  • It's still pretty dumb.
  • This episode is dumb.

Daniel's Thoughts:

  • Also, I kinda like this episode. It's fun. That's all.
  • Xander pretty much says what I’m thinking about Jonathan.  Didn’t he learn his lesson?  It doesn’t make sense.
  • “Please continue the story of failure.”
  • Hey, Anya got paid for her work. Why can't Buffy?  Ah right, because demons are better than people. Ahem, Watcher's Council.
  • Here's a theory: I think if Xander hadn’t befriended Buffy early on, he would have been one of the  nerd trio.
  • Buffy looks so cute in her DoubleMeat Palace uniform!
  • Whomever made the DMP introductory video must have had a great time.
  • Everything everyone is saying is creepy and could be considered supernatural…or be considered just part of working at a fast food restaurant.
  • I’m so glad I never worked for a fast food restaurant but I’ve had similar soul-crushing jobs.
  • Don’t eat the burger, Buffy!
  • I like that she mentions the diner in Anne.  But also, it might have been a better option for her.  Probably better pay/tips, too.
  • Aww, Anya talking about her wedding plans.  It’s all so sad, but she doesn’t know what will happen.
  • She seems to be working long hours.
  • Ugh, Spike. Ugh.
  • Just ugh.
  • Technically, Buffy probably should have joined the police force….but that would have made for a boring police procedural…which the world didn’t need.
  • Poor Gary :(
  • “I don’t know how to grill.” “Just think, this is the last day you’ll  ever be able to say that.”  Omg, so creepy.
  • Another double-shift. Is she surprised? There was already a double-shift. Because of the morning. And then the night.
  • Halfrek!  She and Anya are so cute together.
  • Hallie: “You know how it is. Half the time, I never know if I’m maiming the right guy.”
  • Poor depressed Buffy; meaningless sex with ugh, Spike.  That’s his name now: Ugh, Spike.
  • Don’t let Amy in!  Oh no, Amy.  
  • I can’t tell if Amy actually thinks she’s doing a good thing or not.
  • Oh man, the shots of churning meat.
  • IT’S PEOPLE! (probably not the chicken-y part)
  • OMG, Hallie is so awfully wonderful.  She can do so much with the the non-word, "Hmm."
  • “It’s incorrect for you to appreciate money so much.”
  • Omg, but HALLIE IS SO RIGHT.  Xander doesn’t treat Anya right.  At all.  He’s condescending and awful.
  • I like the shape of Dawn’s shirt.  Very skater-girl.
  • I like Buffy’s shirt too.  Cute sisters! 
  • Of course, as soon as Xander eats a burger he thinks might be people, Z and my lunch arrives.  I’m glad I opted for the Chicken wrap and not the burger.  Oy.
  • “It’s not magic; it’s chemistry.  You can tell by how damn slow it is.”
  • And Buffy is just carrying Manny’s foot around…
  • And another penis monster.
  • Very weird make-up on this old-lady. It looks like she’s blind.  The poor actress looks like she can’t see. 

"Am I facing the Camera?"

Favorite Lines:
Zelda: "See, this is why demons are better than people ... When I was a vengeance demon, I caused pain and mayhem, certainly. But I put in a full day's work doing it, and I got compensated appropriately ... But supervillains want reward without labor, to make things come easy. It's wrong. Without labor there can be no payment, and vice versa. The country cannot progress." - Anya

Arc/Continuity Stuff:

  • First appearance: Halfrek
  • Recurring: Amy
  • Shoutout to when Buffy was Anne the Waitress
  • Also shoutout to Xander's vast experience in food service jobs
  • Shoutout to the fact that Dawn has a friend named Janice
Anya's Hair - blonde & straight
Dead Humans - 2
Dead Undeads - 1
Dead Cows and Chickens - NONE
Dead Flashbacks - 0
Buffy Breaks a Door - 0
Evil Reveal - Wig Lady
Unevil Reveal - 0
Shenanigans Called - 0
Apocalypse Called - 0