PLEASE NOTE: THIS IS A SPOILER-RICH ZONE. If your diet requires you to dine on television spoiler-free ... good luck with that.


Tuesday, December 12, 2017

The Eagles Had a Bunch of Dudes

Episode 1.13: Lord of the Bling. Original Airdate 2.08.05

"After a wealthy music producer's daughter goes missing, Veronica almost bites off more than she can chew in her attempt to find her old friend. Meanwhile, Logan finds it difficult to show the proper emotions at his mother's wake."

Daniel's Thoughts:

  • Hey it’s Anthony Anderson!  He’s so young…ish.  Wow, and he’s lost a lot of weight since, too.  His show Black-ish is really great.

  • Oh man, blackberries. Remember them?  Apparently Lynn Echolls left a suicide note on hers.
  • Wallace has got new hair and Veronica is “resisting the urge to touch” ….which…..not cool, Veronica.  Wallace ducks away but doesn’t say why.  I think that, at the time, I didn’t realize why that was a wrong thing.  I’ve since been educated about that.  And I’m wondering if the writers knew this going in.  Article from Femcult52.
  • I love when they quote the opening song, “We used to be friends, a long time ago.” – Veronica says it this time. It really is a great theme song.  It’s catchy but it says so much about what the show is about.
  • Anthony Anderson: “We’re not talking about teenage misbehavior…” Um…spoiler.
  • “Hey Honey, What are you cooking?” “Not quite sure myself. Something that ends in –a-roni” – Aww, Veronica cooks like me.
  • In a flashback, Logan & the gang check out Yolanda and immediately comment on her race.  It’s not necessarily insulting but the microaggresion here is "You're black, but I'm still attracted to you."  It's really gross. Lilly & Logan are super guilty of it.
  • I like when Veronica voiceovers explaining detective stuff.  It’s like that USA show Burn Notice but less annoying.
  • In another flashback, Veronica wears a huge wool sweater in southern California. [Listen, it gets cold enough for sweaters in SoCal. Just not cold enough for parkas. -Z, who will soon be Christmassing in SoCal in a hoodie]
  • I love watching Logan and Aaron trying to be father and son when there’s no way they can be.  I like the subtle way Aaron tries to hold Logan’s hand and he’s super creeped out by it.
  • Were telegrams still a thing in 2005? Apparently you can - but why would anyone want to?
  • They’re totally taking advantage of the time here – all the rivalries between R&B/Rap Moguls.  Dangling someone out the window – sounds familiar.
  • Lilly:  “You should be glad.  We’re the best!”  I love Lilly so hard.
  • Melinda the Hospitality Lady is awesome but why…on Earth did the receptionist go along with this? Why would she let a complete stranger show the hotel's big guests their room? SHENANIGANS!
  • There are so many subtle lines in this episode of grown men talking about how sexy teenage girls are.  And they seem so matter-of-fact…because this is our culture.  And now 10-15 years later we’re finally talking about it publicly.  All this is coming out and how this is not okay.  But writing like this – like it’s no big deal – normalizes it and makes young men think this is okay when they get older.  It’s a never-ending circle.
  • And Logan thinks his mother is alive…because they didn’t find a body and she left something behind that she always had on her, a lighter that says “Free At Last” – All of this is great evidence – especially in tv shows.  There’s usually a rule of TV shows: No body, no death.  This is especially true for soap operas.  And all this - all good red herrings.  All reason for the audience to be with Logan, even though in real life, it’s pretty improbable.

  • “If the cops are so great, why aren’t you still one?”  good question, Anthony Anderson.
  • Watching Veronica’s mind working without her saying anything is amazing.
  • I love how Bryce just did all this to prove to his dad that he’s not soft…  It’s….weird. Sweet?  I mean. No.  It’s more toxic masculinity.  Why does he need to prove this?  And no one questions it.
  • Though, I’m glad Yolanda is getting a nice happy ending…even though she is getting married while in high school.  Yay for her and Benjamin, I guess?
  • Ooh, and nice ending.  Logan to Veronica, “I want you to find my mother.”

Zelda's Thoughts:

  • We're back! We missed you guys.
  • Aw previously, Lisa Rinna jumped off a bridge.
  • "Did she really leave a note on a Blackberry?"
  • Aw Wallace's new hair is adorable. But no, Veronica, do not touch.
  • Bone Hamilton. What a name.
  • "We used to be friends, a long time ago." It's already a dorky line but then it leads DIRECTLY into the credits singing "A long time ago, we used to be friends," andddddd I'm rolling my eyes.
  • Bone Hamilton has all the enemies. Just like Alexander!
  • "And if you buy it, he's the scariest man alive who's also launching a line of casual wear."
  • Flashback to when Duncan and Logan creeped on Yolanda. Though I do love the effect of the flashback walking past present day Veronica.
  • Gasp! Reveal that Bone's former lawyer is now partially paralyzed.
  • Hi Aaron Echolls in Mourning! I hate you. So does Logan. 
  • "Veronica his is a Mars Investigation matter. I'm Mars." // "And who am I?"
  • I love Veronica fighting for her right to be part of the investigation. Not just because she knew Yolanda, but because she's worried about her dad and his bad back.
  • Wow Veronica just jumped right in, claiming to be hotel hospitality so she can bug Dime Bag's replacement room. She's got hustle. But also I see why Keith worries.
  • Keith's slow burn glare as he realized what Veronica did, even though she did help salvage the hotel bug mission.
  • Logan to awful Aaron: "Dad, let's be honest. Maybe we both wish we'd been better. But she's only gone because of you."
  • Between the shadiness of flashback Duncan and Logan and the rapey mysogyny rampant in Dime Bag's posse, this episode is sure making me a fan of the menfolk.
  • Aaron Echolls is quitting show biz? Are we attempting a redemption arc? (HAH we know the truth about Aaron Echolls)
  • Ouch, Logan thinks his mom might not be dead. The show definitely makes a good case for the possibility over the new few episodes, but knowing the future, it just makes me sad. Logan is deep in the denial and bargaining of it all.
  • Every time Keith says "Mr. Hamilton" I get confused that no one's singing.
  • "Look, you can be mad, dad, but you can't call me soft."
  • omg Keith has to explain that there's a camera in the laptop THE PAST IS SO CUTE YOU GUYS.

  • Also I guess this means we're fully underway with the Logan Redemption Arc, as kickstarted by his mom's disappearance.


Lilly: *honks car horn* Veronica! Come on. San Diego's waiting.
Z: Get in loser, we're going shopping.
D: *high five* That's exactly what I was thinking!

Favorite Lines:

Daniel: Keith: Hey honey, what's cooking? / Veronica: Not quite sure, myself. Something that ends in -aroni.
Zelda: "And if you buy it, he's the scariest man alive who's also launching a line of casual wear." - Keith


Neptune Roll Call: Wallace, Duncan, Logan (Absent: Weevil)
Recurring: Lilly Kane, Dick Casablancas, Aaron Echolls, Harvey Greenblatt
Already Famous Person: Anthony Anderson
Veronica's Alias: Melinda the Hospitality Hostess, Lisa the Sorority Girl

Dead Humans - 0
Backup Sighting - 0
Veronica Breaks In - 0
Veronica Tases Someone - 0
Mac Hacks - 0
Who's Your Daddy? - 0
Wallace Does Veronica a Favor - 0
Veronica Wants a Pony - 0
Logan Punches Someone - 0
Logan Smashes a Camera - 1 
Dick's Single Entendres - 0
Shenanigans Called - 1

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