Worst Easter Egg Hunt Ever

Episode 3.8: Lord of the Pis. Original Airdate 11.21.06 

"Selma Rose, the wealthy granddaughter of the founder of Hearst College and a member of the Hearst College Board of Trustees, mysteriously disappears the night before she is to cast a swing vote that will determine the fate of the Greek system on campus. Keith, with Veronica's help, is hired by Dean O'Dell to investigate the disappearance. Meanwhile, Veronica has been rehired as a photographer at the Hearst Free Press, but she and Logan fight over her involvement in the rape case."

A quick apology: We know our posts here have been woefully infrequent of late. It's mostly Zelda's fault. Okay, it's entirely Zelda's fault. She's been going through the rather stressful process of buying a home and moving all her worldly possessions into said home. But we're happy to report that not only is she now a proud homeowner, but these next few episodes were watched in her new apartment! Rejoice! And now back to the mystery.

Zelda's Thoughts:

• Dang, Chip Diller’s gotten punished for something.
• “I’m off to steal the souls of the rich with my evil image capturing device!”
• I don’t think Logan’s right, but at least this fight feels more organic than the contrived stuff earlier this season. He’s worried about Veronica after the aborted attack, and we know how overprotective he can get.
• “Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Selma Hearst Rose!” And like the Von Trapp Family Singers, she is nowhere to be seen. 

I make no apologies for this

• Time for Veronica’s Schmuck Bait scene.
• Dean O'Dell: “Look, the Sheriff is an idiot. I’ve met smarter sandwiches.” Quickest way to win the Mars family over is trashing Don Lamb.
• Mr. Rose’s assistant Brant is delightful. “Mr Rose is understandably distraught, as I’m sure you can … understand.”
• LOL Keith picking up the phone while V is duping Lamb. Way too fucking good. Lamb's face is a delight. 

• Keister Eggs is way cleverer a joke than I would normally give Dick credit for.
• It just occurred to me, V using her job as library help desk to do her own research is a nice substitute for taking advantage of Wallace’s job in the school’s office, in the high school years. Now she’s not playing on his friendship over and over. (but it is HURTING our STATS. honestly)
• Meanwhile, even though she put on a brave (defiant) face with Logan about keeping on the rape case, we see that she’s still very nervous about someone springing on her when she’s alone and vulnerable.
• “You don’t know the first thing about me, Veronica.” // “I know like eight, possibly nine things. But you're right, I have no idea which one is first.”
• “Do you want to know where I buried Jimmy Hoffman?” // “Dustin’s brother?”
• As Keith helps Veronica sneak over a fence. “This is just like that time we went to Disneyland!”
• Gasp Selma Hearst Rose isn’t missing even a little bit gasp! I totally forgot about this.
• Our friend Sophia, who's watching with us this week: “She was just in the pool house? … No one … even checked there?”
• So our stunt-cast of Patty Hearst as Selma HEARST Rose is … she’s SO BAD AT SAYING HER LINES.
• Daaaaamn that fight escalated quickly. Wallace is in, Veronica tases someone, and then Veronica’s big secret bodyguard picks her up and carries her out of danger. Thanks, Logan?
• “You had no right to do that.” // “Look, that’s probably true. Okay. It's just that I don't care ... I care that you're safe." // “That's all sweet and great, but it doesn't really work that way. It’s not like this is all some new facet of my personality. You know who I am! You know what I do.” // "And?" // "And it isn't gonna change. And if you can't accept that, this isn't gonna work." // “You know who I am. And you’re constantly expecting me to change. And even right now as you're thinking 'Crap, he's got a point,' you still think you're ultimately right. I love you, Veronica. I love you. Do you love me?” // “Yeah.” “Well then, can we try to go a little easier on each other?” // “Yeah, I think that’s a good idea.” // “So are we okay?” // “Yeah, we’re okay.” These two are so good. [For Now - Veronica Mars Writers]
• “How many of them were real, I mean, other than Chip Diller's?” Shit this is SO BAD. I’d forgotten that in fact these women had faked several rape claims in order to get the frats banned. And V is right, Chip was raped when they shoved that egg up his ass. I have to hope the show wouldn’t pull off a storyline like this today, with all these false rape claims. It perpetuates this ugly narrative that helps people decide not to believe actual victims. And yes, V calls them out with "Nothing hurts the cause more than that," BUT I HATE THIS. I hate that fake rape claims get fairly equal screen time to actual sexual assault on this show, as if they occur with like frequency. 
• Ugh, I thought LoVe had solved their issues, but no, V screens a call from Logan, and he sees her do it, and just stares at her, his heart breaking. While I don’t think he’s been in the right in a lot of their fights (neither has Veronica been entirely in the right), Jason Dohring is soooooo good at heartbreak face.

Daniel's Thoughts:

• It’s been so long, we forgot where we were and started watching the previous episode.
• We start at Neptune college where Chip Diller (thanks extra person for telling me who that was) passed out on the ground in his underwear and head roughly shaved.
• Out at the college newspaper class, Veronica is getting a job to take photos at a Hearst Neptune anniversary event.
• Meanwhile, the two extra dudes bring in a photo of Chip Diller they douchedly took.
• Veronica is evidently still avoiding Logan who in return is very worried about Veronica.  He wants her to stop investigating the rapes.
• The party: We meet Selma Rose – or at least we’re supposed to.  Selma’s missing.
• Sheriff douche shows up and doesn’t take it seriously, of course because he’s Sheriff douche.
• What is with the fog machine at college.  

You can actually see the fog pumping from the machine.

• Veronica takes out her taser but she doesn’t need it.
• Interestingly Patty Hearst, famous kidnap victim, is playing Selma. (also, geddit, Patty & Selma?)
• Mr. Rose is played by Charles Shaughnessy (Mr. Sheffield) –  (Also, his name is Budd Rose - geddit? Rose Bud?)
• For some reason his assistant is trying to stop Keith from seeing him…..maybe there’s a reason why. 
• Ok some clue about a car – Dog walker who goes to Hearst.
• I love when Veronica does accents – and her Martina isn’t half bad…until Keith unwittingly interrupts.
• Dick’s a repugnant dick, but at least Veronica can rely on him for gossip. [Repungent? - Dick]
• “Poor Chip, you really rect-um”
• Selma’s brother, much like most guys on this show, is a dick.
• Wallace is back from his….long weekend.
• So the egg in Chip’s bum had roman numerals that translate to a date…one from almost three years ago.  Veronica goes to a library instead of the internet.  This was a transitional time, I guess.
• But then gets really spooked out.  Her PTSD is showing.
• Hallie, the valley girl sorority girl, is the dog walker.  Possible motive?  Selma had the authority to vote against the Greek houses.  But she says it’s the assistant.  EVERYONE IS A SUSPECT.
• Love these father/daughter spy missions.
• So it turns out Selma Rose was just hanging out in the pool house.
• They’re talking all this business talk and I don’t really care.
• “Have you ever been a walking punchline, Mr. Mars? I mean on a national level?" So Patty is pretty much talking about her life story.  Kind of a coincidence that her last name is Hearst like the fake college.
• Logan hired some guy to tail Veronica.  They fight about it.  They both make good points.
• The fake rape narratives really hurt this show a lot, especially in retrospect.  It’s part of the show that really didn’t age well at all.
• Logan & Veronica’s last argument seemed to end in an understanding that they both need to lay off each other and grow with each other.  It seemed to end on a good note – but then when Logan tries to call Veronica, she doesn’t pick up.  This looks bad on both of them since he did it while looking straight at her.  He was testing her and she failed.  But he also failed just by testing her.

Crossfire!

Frisbee Bros: *discover an unconscious fratboy on the lawn*

Frisbee Bro: Dude, it’s Chip Diller.

Daniel: Hah! Thank you.

Favorite Lines:

Zelda: “I’m off to steal the souls of the rich with my evil image capturing device!” - Veronica

Daniel:  "Poor Chip, you really rect-um" (wrecked him) - Veronica

Arc/Continuity:

Neptune Roll Call: Logan, Wallace, Dick, Sheriff Don Lamb (Absent: Parker, Piz, Mac, Weevil)

First Appearance: Wilson Behan, Bonnie Capistrano

Recurring:  Chip Diller, Dean Cyrus O’Dell, Nish Sweeney, Fern Delgado, Claire Nordhouse, Hallie Piatt, Deputy Jerry Sacks

Already Famous Person: Patty Hearst

Generally Known TV Face: Charles Shaughnessy

Veronica's Alias: Martina Vasquez (the Hottie from Ch. 9)

Stats:

Dead Humans - 0

Backup Sighting - 0

Veronica Breaks In - 1

Veronica Tases Someone - 1

Mac Hacks - 0

Who's Your Daddy? - 0

Wallace Does Veronica a Favor – He failed us all

Veronica Wants a Pony - 0

Logan Punches Someone – 0

Dick's Single Entendres – 2 "His where-the-sun-don't-shine place. And you know where that is."; "He had to get one of his brothers to help unpack his suitcase."

Shenanigans Called - 0

VERONICA WAS RIGHT - 0

VERONICA WAS WRONG - 0