PLEASE NOTE: THIS IS A SPOILER-RICH ZONE. If your diet requires you to dine on television spoiler-free ... good luck with that.


Tuesday, April 23, 2019

Amuse Me, Dammit! Amuse Me Now!

Episode 3.11: Poughkeepsie, Tramps and Thieves. Original Airdate 1.30.07

"Veronica helps a friend to find the girl he thinks is the one, which he had but lost. But finding her only leads to trouble."

Daniel's Thoughts:

  • So anyone who’s keeping track: Veronica and Logan are on again – and they are flirting over fries, as you do
  • Weevil’s here, weighing in on what happened to the Dean – he thinks the Dean was a good guy.
  • Meanwhile, Keith is getting in on the game as well, soliciting records from sheriff douche who thinks there’s no crime.
  • And Veronica has a new mystery of the week:  It takes forever to explain but in a nutshell, Max (who we’ve seen before I guess) – met someone at comic con who is getting married and he needs to find her.
  • Case solved before the first commercial – Max’s friends hired a prostitute – and that’s the girl.  But Max still wants to find the girl  - he still thinks this all was real.  And…this is kind of uninteresting.  Can we get back to the arc again?
  • Max’s douchey friends (one of which looks like Piz) [Why is a recurring problem on this show that all the boys look indistinct/like each other? - Z] are surprised that dude didn’t have sex with the prostitute.
Definitely not Piz.

  • Nope, we’re still on this story line.
  • And now Veronica is searching for hookers online, refers to them all as fatherless…because that’s the only way someone can become an escort.  Geez, Veronica.
  • Finally she comes home and gets sassy with her dad, basically imitating an abusive husband.  Geez, Veronica.
  • Keith brings up O’Dell’s suicide – and Veronica posits Nish & the Lilith House as suspects…because they haven’t had enough. Geez, Veronica.
  • And then Veronica invites the two escorts over to Logan’s.  At least she’s using back-up. [Woof? – Back-up]  [Not you, buddy – D]
  • And then Veronica asks Logan if he’s ever been with a hooker.  Geez, Veronica.
  • Hooker #1 enters.  It’s not her.
  • “If we’re paying her anyway-”
  • But then Hooker #2 enters.  And it’s Chelsea.  And it appears she’s into Max. Because I’m betting a guy wrote this.  Huh, no.  It was written by Diane Ruggierio.
  • OMG, It’s Madison from HS and she’s just as bitchy.  What’s she doing there?  Veronica assumes it’s Dick that's still dating her but someone else looks guilty…  And by someone, I mean Logan.

  • Keith goes undercover as if he’s still with the sheriff’s department, uniform and all.  Veronica makes inappropriate stripper jokes about her dad.  And he goes over to the Lilith house.
  • Keith takes a hard approach to interviewing the members of the Lillith House.  But Nish calls him out on it.  She knows who he is.
  • Sheriff Douche’s face when he sees Keith in cop uniform. Ha!

  • Chelsea  (Now Wendy) outs a (judge) client to Veronica when she asks – and SO UNPROFESSIONAL CHELSEA!  She goes into a ton of detail, which obviously makes Max uncomfortable.
  • Anyway it all goes south when her pimp smacks around another girl to get her back? 
  • And I remember this bit.  Veronica realizes the bruise was a fake and wants to get back at her for Max.
  • Her plan is to extort a judge and no one is comfortable about this.  See Chelsea/Wendy?  This is why you don’t out your clients.
  • Veronica is still pressing Logan about the hooker issue.  And he doesn’t want to talk about it.  But she’s continuing to press.  Finally he answers.  But this was only a precursor to the real question she wants to ask:  About Mercer and how he was able to get away and back.  He answers this too.  But she can’t stop.  She wants to know if he was with anyone while they were broken up.  He admits he was, though he doesn’t say whom.  Luckily the questions stop here.
  • So it was Chelsea/Wendy’s pimp who set this whole thing up.  But she’s willing to let her go for 10,000 bucks.
  • How romantic?
  • Weevil comes by, recognizes Chelsea/Wendy/Fiona…  making another awkward situation even more awkward.
  • But…Max, of course can’t handle the fact that his girlfriend is an ex hooker/dancer/stripper.  And now he’s asking her too much information, things he really should leave alone because they don’t matter - the way Veronica was earlier to Logan.  Parallels!
  • Veronica decides to visit a lingerie store and of course bumps into Madison again.  And of course, it’s revealed that Logan was with Madison while they were broken up.  DUN.

Zelda's Thoughts:

  • Veronica and Logan are back to cute banter, which probably means they're gonna fight again.
  • He is there to point out that when people vandalize other people's offices, he's the one who has to clean it up. (he's also there to give the clue that the Dean's window was also egged, in addition to the Lampoon's)
  • Aw man, it sucks. Weevil and the Dean had actually been friends.
  • I guess Weevil wasn't here for plot so much as clue-dropping.
  • "I think you need a new hobby, Keith." // "Oh, I don't know. I find solving an investigation very relaxing. You should give it a try sometime."
  • Max who-helps-people-cheat is back. Yay?
  • Hey now Veronica, don't be ragging on Comic Con. That's where all the television shows go to meet their fans these days.
  • "Have a seat." // "No thanks, it's easier to be nosy if I can mill about."
  • V's face when he disses her Canada dorm room. *snort*
  • Wow, Max's roommate Brian is a douche.
  • "Can you still find her?"//  "Umm yes. But she'll still be a prostitute."
  • I could do without the slutshaming of sex workers commentary from V, but the search engine for escorts is pretty impressive.
  • oh man, V's so cute with "Amuse me, dammit, amuse me now!" but then K does his weird jazz hands song about the police report on the Dean's death. I have a vague memory that the gag reel features him doing like 12 different versions of this.

  • I am relieved that the show hasn't instantly forgotten Lilith House, though I'm tired of how hard the show leans into the Angry Feminist trope
  • Aw man, it's actually incredibly sweet how genuinely excited NotChelsea is when she sees Max. (oh, her name is Wendy)
  • And then Madison, of all our least favorite people, drops by Logan's hotel room why is he still in a hotel room.
  • Keith, whatchu doing in your old Sheriff's uniform? If he's about to impersonate an officer of the law, isn't that kinda illegal?
  • Aw V, don't make a thrusting motion at your dad, just don't.
  • Keith's doing a great job being bad cop questioning Fern and Claire (like legit scary), but then Nish shows up to bust his con.
  • Naw you know what, this was all worth it for Lamb to see Keith drive by in his Sheriff's uniform.
  • You know I've been watching the show too long when I don't trust the story that Wendy's leaving Max (even though he was trying to hide her from her pimp) to keep her fellow sex workers from getting beaten up (and taking Max's $1k with her). And the fact that V isn't suspicious also has me afeared (I genuinely don't remember)
  • Welp, V found the bruise makeup bag. So either my cynic instinct is strong or I do remember it on some level.
  • Aaaaand V indisputably blackmailed a judge for a thousand dollars. Um. How does she manage to become a lawyer later?
  • It's a tricky bait-and-switch, this intimate secret-sharing convo of V and Logan in bed. He confesses to hooking up with a horrible girl who means nothing to him; we assume he means the rando beach girl who gave him a blowjob, but anyone who remembers the future knows who he actually means (or anyone wondering why the hell Madison Sinclair suddenly reappeared on the show)
  • Sigh. And Max won't be able to get past Wendy's past, and she knows it. At least she left a real note and not a fake note this time.
  • And there's the other shoe: Logan and Madison hooked up over the holidays.
  • Does everyone else have the same terrible taste in their mouth that I do?

Favorite Lines:

Daniel: "And how when you see a plastic bag flying around, you think there's so much beauty in the world you can't take it?" - Veronica 

Zelda: "Amuse me, dammit! Amuse me now!" - Veronica


Neptune Roll Call:  Logan, Sheriff Don Lamb, Weevil (Absent: Wallace, Dick, Parker, Piz, Mac)
Recurring:  Max, Nish Sweeney, Fern Delgado, Claire Nordhouse, Deputy Jerry Sacks, Madison Sinclair
Keith's Alias: Sheriff
Veronica's Nicknames: The Man of La Mancha (Max)


Dead Humans - 0
Backup Sighting - 0
Veronica Breaks In - 0
Veronica Tases Someone - 0
Mac Hacks - 0
Who's Your Daddy? - 0
Wallace Does Veronica a Favor - 0
Veronica Wants a Pony - 0
Logan Punches Someone - 0
Dick's Single Entendres - 0
Shenanigans Called - 0

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