You Were Myth-taken

Episode 4.12: A New Man. Original Airdate 1.25.00

"Ethan Rayne returns to town and transforms Giles into a demon. Spike is the only one who can help."

Zelda's Thoughts:

• Anyaaaaaaaaa. "Please continue your story" and that proud smile at Xander.
• "I've seen the library. It's gone downhill since you left." Good parent banter, Riley. "So you're retired?" Less good parent banter, Riley.
• I don't quite buy Buffy worshipping Professor Walsh or calling her the smartest person she's ever met, much less to Giles's face. It feels like a forced out-of-character moment, in order to facilitate Giles's emotional plot for the episode, in the same dishonest vein of The Zeppo. There are other aspects that weren't forced, that had been adequately planted, like not telling him about dating Riley or about Riley and the Initiative in general.
• "And you're what, shocked and disappointed? I'm evil."
• Heh the dick-measuring. Walsh describes Buffy as poking demons with a sharp stick, and then she completely wipes the floor with her stats over Riley's. Don't try to belittle my Buffy, Professor Walsh.
• "How many hostiles would you say you've slain?" Per our stats, 156 onscreen. BAM (well, not all of them were hers, but shhhhhh)
• I really really really like that Buffy didn't downplay her achievements, that she was honest about all her awesome heroical activities.
• "I suddenly find myself needing to know the plural of apocalypse." It's apocali. True story. NO ONE CAN TAKE THIS AWAY FROM ME.
• And see Walsh throwing massive shade on Giles and his parental skills, that I believe too. She's been passive aggressive like this from her first episode, as well as passing judgement without adequate knowledge. Of course she would treat Giles like this.
• "Of course. How wrong of me to choose my own words."
• WOW seriously Walsh you decided she lacked an adequate male role model? How ... 50s of you? Like seriously why would she say male? Buffy's a female. It makes NO sense if you take it at face value. It make sense only if you realize her actual intention is to insult Giles.
• Aw poor Giles. This is upsetting. See Buffy? You shoulda told him.
• His real accent is even breaking through a bit, he's so upset. "Spike? Spike knew?"
• See, this stuff isn't forced. But some of Buffy's insensitive anvil-dialogue was.
• HI ETHAN HI.
• So wait. Was Ethan hiding in the shadows of the crypt for that entire conversation? The lengths chaos worshippers will go to, to achieve evil monologue time!
• 314 is harming demons? PI IS HARMING DEMONS YO. No one can take my math puns from me.
• HI DRUNK GILES.
• "I'm twice the man she is."
• "An unemployed librarian with a tendency to get knocked in the head."
• So ... Ethan turning Giles into a demon was just for kicks, right? Like .. .basically if you worship chaos, that's the only motivation you need for any hijinks. 
• Giles is a demon!
• It must have been fun for Tony Head to break all the things. Usually all the things break him.
• So I think actually the first clue (that's not just tonal) that magic=gay is that Willow doesn't immediately tell Buffy about Tara. She claims she was by herself when the rose spell went wonky. It shows that there's something she's uncomfortable talking about, especially as the rest of their conversation is about Buffy's relationship with Riley. And she hasn't been reticent about friends in the past, nor about relationships. She's not saying anything because she knows, whether she'll admit it or not, that there's something different going on here and she doesn't want to talk about it until she's figured it out.
• Poor Giles. Your English does not resemble our Earth English at the moment.
• Wait so ... let's say Giles found Xander around noon. They don't make it to Giles's apartment until 6 pm? Did they stop for afternoon tea and scones? PRIORITIES, PEOPLE.
• Spike is so amused that Giles is a demon.
• "He must undo this and then he needs a good being-killed."
• "And I'm just supposed to help you out of the evilness of my heart?"
• "Money? Oh, I like money!" And thus was spawned Spike the Capitalist. Inspired, of course, by Anya's practical questions from before. Anya, the true capitalist.
• Aw see, Buffy? You didn't communicate with Giles, and now he's afraid to communicate with you about his Fyarlness because he wants to not appear useless.
• "We have stuff ... pictures." // "We have nothing." Anya wins.
• Fyarl Giles terrorizing Maggie Walsh will never not be wonderful.

• "Two of them. English like me. But older, less attractive."
• Riley has a skeleton key that opens every door on Main Street. You mean ... Only Street?
• I love Buffy. Riley keeps trying to tell her she can't come along on a military operation and she's having none of it. Nope. This is her territory, this is her field, and this is her father figure. If anyone stands in her way, she will smash them like she smashed that door.
• See, Giles, if you had said yes to Spike's plan of telling Buffy, she wouldn't be almost killing you right now.
• And Spike smashes Giles's car in the midst of taunting the commandos. Spike, you're so inept at so many things. Delightful blustery Spike.
• "It's the stay and gloat that gets me every time."
• Oh god that shirt.

• haaaaaaaaah and Riley finally has a use. He arrested Ethan. I guess that's why we never see him again.
• "You're really strong. Like Spiderman-strong. And you're in charge. You're like, make the plan, execute the plan. No one giving you orders. I like it." This is the part of Riley I really like. I like that what he admires and loves in Buffy is her strength and independence, her leadership. When he's later feeling his inferiority in S5, it's because he's lost more of his power since he lost the juice given to him by Professor Walsh. It's the same thing driving Angel giving up being human in I Will Remember You. They both want to feel like they matter in the fight. But neither of them want to weaken Buffy in order to make themselves feel stronger. This is important and it's not mentioned enough. Riley is a doof in many many ways, but this part of him I like.
• TAH-WIST 314 is Professor Walsh's secret lab of secrets!

Daniel's Thoughts:

• Buffy and Riley making out!  I so want Marc Blucas to make an appearance on The Crazy Ones.
• It’s Buffy’s birthday! Nothing bad can happen…!
• Robin Sachs!  Ethan’s last episode. :(
• Do we really want to surprise Buffy?  I mean - haven't we learned that this is a thing that shouldn't be a thing?
• Anya!
• Anya is learning how to be human and enjoying it.
• "You’re retired? Or…working somewhere else now?"  Nice save, Riley Finn.
• Why can Spike just leave now?
• And when did Buffy decide to tell Professor Walsh about her Slayer-ness?
• "You were myth-taken."  Ha!
• Uh oh. Giles has apocalypse-coming face.
• The plural of apocalypse.  I say apocali.
• Oh wow.  The passive-aggressiveness between Walsh and Giles is awful.  It's just so uncomfortable and obvious that Walsh has absolutely no idea the extend of what Buffy's been doing the past three and a half years.
• Aww, Poor Giles.  This episode really sums up his life this season.  He needs a job…
• One of the best reveals ever of Ethan… “Oh Bugger, I thought you’d gone.”
• Buffy/Riley sparring.  Kinda hot.  Not sorry.
• I love drunk Giles!  His real accent comes out a bit when he’s drunk.

I'd like to see this show.

• Oh hey Tara! So that's where Willow's been running off to.
• Why you being so secretive about your activities last night Willow? Huh, Willow? [Just let it be - Scott Hope]
• “I sorta kicked him across the room last night.” “That’s not good.” Aly has such good delivery.
• This episode has a lot of comedy but it's also pretty sad.  I so want Giles to find his place soon.
• Spike has no belongings. But he has a tape measure?
• Anthony Head is trying so hard to talk with all the prosthesis and it’s mostly working.
• Giles scaring the hell out of Walsh is so awesome.
• “Why would a demon steal a car?”//”Why would a demon steal that car?”  HA! They’re really finding Anya’s voice.
• That’s a pretty huge hotel room.  Almost as big as the really huge dorm room.  Set builders like size...
• Those message boards from Hush would really have come in handy right about now.
• Nice shirt, Ripper.
• “Excuse me, if you don’t mind. I’m…[going to find an excuse to leave you two alone so that you can talk.]” 

Crossfire!

Z: WAIT NO YOU STOLE MY JOKE. APOCALI IS MY JOKE. I MADE UP THAT WORD. SHENANIGANS, SIR.
D: lol, I thought I made up that joke.
Z: No.
D: And I didn't think it was a joke.
Z: I totally made up that joke. I've just been saying it for years.

Favorite Lines:

Daniel: "You were Myth-taken"  - Buffy.  Her delivery is so cute...like she knows how dorky her pun is but she doesn't care.

Zelda: "Uh oh. You have but-face. [Giles looks appalled] You look like you're gonna say 'but.'" - Buffy, my hero

Arc/Continuity Stuff:

• Recurring: Ethan Rayne (final appearance), Walsh, Tara, Anya.
• And Giles is the last to know about Riley and the Initiative
• Ethan tells Giles that something's harming demons. Something called 314. This ends up being the number on the door of a secret lab in the Initiative.
• Spike had a couple of Fyarl demons working for him once. Sure.

Stats:

Anya's Hair - short, honey colored

Dead Humans - 0

Dead Undeads - 0

Giles Unconscious - 0

Giles Cleans His Glasses - 1

Giles Breaks a Door - 2

Buffy Breaks a Door - 1

Evil Reveal - 0

Unevil Reveal - 0

Shenanigans Called - 0

Apocalypse Called - 0

For the Safety of Puppies and Christmas

Episode 4.11: Doomed. Original Airdate 1.18.00

"As Riley comes to terms with Buffy's revelation, a trio of demons attempts to reopen the Hellmouth."

Daniel's Thoughts:

• And we start where we left off with Hush.
• They have no idea what to say to her.
• I love how Buffy gets offended by, “What are you?”  Accurate.
• Riley: “You see me with my clothes off, I look like a…”  Daniel: Go onnnnnn.
• I think Buffy’s being a little unfair.  I mean Riley wasn't the only one that lied.
• Amy the rat knows before it happens! Earthquake!
• And in Sunnydale, Earthquake means – something big and bad.
• I guess that demon in the lab doesn't have the chip. 
• Seriously, why is Spike the only one with the chip?
• Percy!  And his girlfriend is a total bitca.
• This is why I don’t go to parties alone, Willow.
• Percy’s gross. But he has a killer jaw line.  What?
• Hey Graham.  Gonna emote today?  Nope?  Carry on then.
• I don’t really get what’s changed for Buffy with the whole Riley situation.  Why is it worse that he’s better prepared for her world?  He was in her life either way. Would it be better if he was some victim that always needed saving?  Or someone she could keep a secret to her whole life?
• Meters and kilograms, Riley?  Where are we, Canada?
• Where’s Anya? This episode is kinda dull.  I need Anya to make it better.
• Why can’t they kill Spike again?
• “Some good looking guy who done you wrong.” Ha.  You don’t know the half of it.
• I guess the teens of Sunnydale are being bused somewhere else? [When my high school was demolished because of an exploding Mayor snow collapsing the roof, I think they bussed the kids to the next town over to do halfsies in their high school. Buffy and I are the same! - Z]
• Spike can kill demons!  He’s useful!  Yay…
• Shenanigans!  Why is Xander saving Spike?  Just…get out of there.
• See Buffy? You and Riley make a good team!
• Ha! Marsters, an American playing a Brit faking an American accent.
• Riley’s frat house walls are the same color as the dorm rooms.
• For the safety of puppies and Christmas. Heh.
• So yeah, this episode is pretty blah - especially after Hush. I didn't write much - I even had to ask Z, "What's...this episode about again?"

Zelda's Thoughts:

• blah. I think the only thing I'm looking forward to this episode is Spike's speech about puppies and Christmas at the end.
• hah I love that she immediately bristles at Riley's awkward approach to the conversation.
• But she handles it better. he asks what she is - because how could a tiny female be so skilled and strong? she must be a what, not a who - but she asks who he is - because he's a person who's been actively lying to her, and she doesn't know how deep those lies run. And like obviously she's been lying too, but she just got over a Parker Poophead and she's not interested in another man who lies to her.
• I like how unnerved he is by how much she already knows about his organization.
• "I don't see a scratch on you." // "You're not looking hard enough." // "I'm looking pretty hard."
• Okay, this scene is pretty well written. Why am I dreading this episode so much? Maybe it's just the tone implied even in the title. Buffy's much more pessimistic about her fate and life than usual, and I also don't like how an apocalypse is played for laughs (like in The Zeppo) when - as Buffy points out - the last time there was an earthquake she died. One should take an apocalypse seriously.
• Hah Spike trying to hit Xander with a wrench and Xander not even noticing. Good opening salvo about how he inspires no more fear in the hearts of the Scoobies.
• GODDAMMIT WILLOW WITH THE PINK SWEATER.

Look at her, smirking at my pain. Pink Sweater #12.

• So why doesn't Buffy tell Giles about Riley? I know she told him she wouldn't tell anyone but like. Tell Giles. I feel like we've had this lesson many times at this point. Always tell Giles. Because listen to how plummy and British he sounds right now. Actually bizarrely plummy. Both Daniel and I think his voice sounds just bizarre. Did he have to ADR that entire scene or something?
• (yeah yeah yeah, she doesn't tell Giles because that way it can be one more thing upsetting him in A New Man, but that's stupid.)
• Oh yeah the other meaning for the title, that Willow is somehow doomed to always be the nerd she was in high school. Whatever. 
• Aw Spike. This is a terrible idea. Was that seriously the only shirt of Xander's you could find?
• You know what, the sound is all over the place this episode. I think they must have had to ADR like 60% of it, for whatever reason. And then of course Spike's speech at the end about puppies and Christmas is entirely out of sync (you can tell for sure because the sound of him clapping his hands doesn't match the gesture). I kept hoping they'd fix it for the DVD, but alas.
• Sign of true friendship - the thing Buffy is most upset about in Willow's story was the same thing Willow was upset about - Percy calling her a nerd.
• "She's cool, she's hot, she's tepid, she's all-temperature Buffy."
• HST = Hostile Sub-Terrestrial. meh. I'm renaming it to Hamburger Surprise Tokens.
• "It's the end of the world." // "AGAIN??" See it's a cute gag, for the one line, but they're still playing it for laughs.
• "My contrition completely dwarfs the impending apocalypse."
• Man, demon, stealing bones is just so tacky.
• Seriously, though, this episode is SUCH a place holder. The two things it accomplishes are: pushing forward the Riley-and-Buffy story, and the reveal that Spike can hurt demons. Either one of those could have been folded into a story I actually care about. But I think mostly it's the meaningless apocalypse that bothers me.
• "Do you know what a Hellmouth is? Do you have a fancy term for it?" 
• I do like the juxtaposition of the Scoobies doing research in books, rhymes and legends, while Riley briefs the other commandos on the demon's stats - size and speed. See, if this were what S4 were about, I would have loved this season so much. I was so excited by this contrast, this conflict of the rugged individuals with brilliance and experience versus the large lumbering organization with a very black and white perspective, tied down by procedure and bureaucracy (the thing Buffy abandoned when she quit the Council). But they threw it in the trash when they traded that for actually being about building demon-human-cyber hybrids. And then Adam being the boringest villain ever. So much that could have been, so much that wasn't.
• Seriously Spike that's a really crappy way to try to kill yourself. It's like you're not even trying.
• "I mean, am I even remotely scary anymore? Tell me the truth."

The little squeaky grrr he makes though.

• "Think of the happy - if we don't find what we're looking for, we face an apocalypse." // "Really? You're not just saying that?"
• "No, I mean you're stupid." Riley Finn, TA for Seduction 101.
• Aw, shout out to Faith in a coma! I actually did make an "awww" sound even though ... that's not an aww moment. But I like that Faith is still on Buffy's mind, especially since she'll be coming back in a bit.
• Historical Museum of Sunnydale? huhyeahokay.
• That little smile of Spike's after he belittles Willow and Xander.
• "Oh, as usual, dear." Aw Giles.
• Buffy, re: Spike "Why is he even here?" snerk
• "If these walls were still walls, what stories they could tell."
• It's time to defy science and the speed of falling, as Buffy miraculously catches up with the Vahrall demon after it jumped in the Hellmouth. On behalf of science, I call a shenanigan.
• Haha oh Riley you're terrible at lying. Like truly bad. Like petroleum bad.
• "Me? No. No sir. I'm just an old pal of Xander's here." Spike's fake American accent is my other favorite thing.
• "You have a security code and rank?" Marc Blucas's quick glance up, trapped and his small "No." is when I'm reminded that he can do funny sometimes.
• Yay Spike got his black tshirt back! But his jeans are regular blue. Strange and confusing times.

Favorite Lines:

Daniel: "Oh, as usual, dear." - Giles
Zelda: "What's this? Sitting around watching the telly while there's evil still afoot. That's not very industrious of you. I say we go out there and kick a little demon ass! What, can't go without your Buffy, is that it? Too chicken? Let's find her! She is the Chosen One after all. Come on! Vampires! Grrr! Nasty! Let's annihilate them. For justice, and for ... the safety of puppies ... and Christmas, right? Let's fight that evil! Let's kill something! OH COME ON!" - Spike

  

Arc/Continuity Stuff:

• Riley's in the credits now!
• Recurring: Amy the Rat, Forrest, Percy, Graham
• Buffy and Riley now know each other's secret identities.
• Most of the Initiative thinks the Slayer is a myth.
• Shoutout to Coma!Faith.
• Spike can hurt demons. He's back and he's a bloody animal!

Stats:

Xander's Job - Pizza Delivery

Dead Humans - 1

Dead Undeads - 3

Dead Flashbacks - 0

Giles Unconscious - 0

Giles Cleans His Glasses -0

Buffy Breaks a Door - 0

Evil Reveal - 0

Unevil Reveal - 0

Shenanigans Called - 2

Apocalypse Called - 1

It's a Babble-Fest

Never. Sleep. Again.

Episode 4.10: Hush. Original Airdate 12.14.99

"A group of murderous creatures straight out of a fairytale steal the voices of Sunnydale."

Zelda's Thoughts:

• omg you guys omg it's time for Hush.
• I'm kind of afraid my commentary here will just be me going "IT'S SO GOOD. IT'S SO CREEPY. CAMDEN TOY, YOU GUYS."
• aaaaaaaaaaaaaaah
• seriously i'm so excited
• "Talking about communication. talking about language. Not the same thing."
• Even though it's a dream, this is the first time I believe Maggie Walsh as an interesting leader and a teacher.
• Buffy's dreams are awesome. They state our theme, they're kinda sexy, and then SCARY DEMON PROPHETIC DREAM.
• So their first onscreen kiss is just a dream. But they'll have their first real kiss this ep, too, so it's okay.
• I love the nursery rhyme. It's such a good comprehensively-constructed villain, you know? The Gentlemen. It's not actually a real fairy tale, but it seems like it could be.
• Willow's wearing a pink sweater because she enjoys my pain.

Pink Sweater #11

• Willow ships Buffy/Riley. That much is clear.
• Petroleum.
• I love that Giles with a chainsaw is in the credits. So very much.
• So I guess Spike is allowed to wander around unchained now? How come? He tried to escape last episode and was tied up again at the end of it. 
• "Thank you for knocking." Giles, this has happened like 12 times. Lock your damn door.
• "Oh, we're not your friends. Go on."
• "Oh, you mean an orgasm friend?" // "Yes, that's exactly the most appalling thing you could have said."
• bicker bicker bicker
• aaaaaaaaand pretentious wicca-ness. So my question - this isn't Willow's first time going to a wicca group, right? She mentioned going to one when Oz was still here. Did she just decide to wait a bit to bring up doing actual magic instead of bake sales? Also was Tara not at the first few meetings?
• Such a weak putdown, but somehow amazing in its stupidness: "Oh yeah, then we can all get on our broomsticks and fly around on our broomsticks"
• Tara, girl, your hair. What even is it.
• "Bunch of wanna-blessed-bes"
• I feel like Buffy's and Willow's dorm room gets bigger every time we're here. Did they always have a sink? I definitely just saw a sink.
• Oh hey. Riley in a tank with glistening sweat, I can get behind this plan.
• "Yet we must Clark Kent our way through the dating scene, never to use our unfair advantage. Thank god we're pretty." Forrest is not a great actor, but he gets some good lines. [And yet, still a billion times better than Graham -D]
• meh, no one in the Initiative is a great actor.
• Spike-as-Anya. One of the best things ever. "Xander, don't you care about me? We never talk.
• I love the clocktower set. I love the tiny voice-stealing box. I love every fucking thing about the design of this episode. ALSO THE GENTLEMEN BEST MAKEUP AND BEST PHYSICAL PERFORMANCE EVER.
• Seriously even the hands are perfect.  ---->
  
• So why is Buffy brushing her teeth in the bathroom sink if there's a sink in her dorm room I KNOW THERE IS I SAW IT. That's it, I'm officially calling a shenanigan.
• The quietly unnerving music under Buffy and Willow realizing their voices are gone is amazing. The entire soundtrack to this episode is amazing.
• I warned you my notes this time would just be me gushing.
• Also I adore that they got away with Spike flipping someone off on tv because he did it British style.
• Oh hey momentarily shirtless Riley. You can stay. No, take your shirt back off.
• Shenanigans! Forrest writes the note "It's all over town." How would he know that? They're going down the secret elevator, which is located in their fraternity house.
• Shenanigans! While the "In case of emergencies use stairway" is a great sightgag ... does that mean there's a staircase down to the Initiative that DOESN'T have the same kind of voice ID thing that the elevator does? Cuz ... isn't that kind of ... not secure?
• Okay back to enjoying the show.
• Anya's face when Xander jumps up immediately when Buffy and Willow enter Giles's (unlocked) apartment.

• Olivia drinks all the booze.
• You know, the Scoobies are pretty good at finding ways to communicate with each other sans talking. Because they are awesome and I love them.
• Aw look at all the chaos on the one block of outdoor set they have. Oh show. Oh budget.
• I always wince when Buffy breaks that dude's wrist. It's just all crunchy.
• See? When they stop talking they start communicating. Or snogging. Or. y'know, both.
• Oh god the shot of their feet just floating out that doorway goddamn these guys are creepy. Seriously. Best one-off villain ever. I've been thinking about the Angels on Doctor Who lately. They're so amazingly scary in Blink, but I grow more frustrated every time they return. I realize it's much more a Doctor Who thing, to have recurring villainy things like that than it is a Buffy thing, and I'm kind of grateful. Buffy has recurring vamps, sure, but most of the other types of demons either don't recur at all or DO recur, but as specific characters, specific personalities (Anya, D'Hoffryn, Turok-Han). I get that they're different shows. I'm just saying. Buffy is the best.
• Poor random guy getting killed. What an awful way to go.
• Olivia's a great artist. Giles should have had her draw his overhead drawings.
• Giles's lecture. Best sequence ever or best sequence ever?

• And we don't even see one of the bloody slides since he changes it offscreen. Giles, you psycho.
• And a handjob joke. Seriously, how the hell did Joss get away with the stuff in this episode?
• I love how mad Buffy is about Giles's portrait of her.

• Like seriously. He didn't need to draw her. That could have just been text. But he thought the presentation would go better if he drew on each card. So he drew Buffy. But like seriously wow he's a bad artist.
• I will say, Tara's starting off well. She's not passive - she's trying to solve the problem, looking up books of spells, looking up how to reach out to Willow, whom she now knows also does real spells.
• AAAAAAAAAH THE GENTLEMEN ARE AFTER TARA RUN TARA.
• See, now that Willow's stronger, she can't be our damsel in danger anymore. So we have Tara.
• I wonder what the significance is of the handmen of the Gentlemen - the scabby bandaged fellows in strait jackets. I wonder if they have a separate name.
• Ouch, we hurt Willow's ankle there when we fell on her.
• aaaaaaand oops Buffy and Riley know about each other now whaaaaat
• Such a good act break. Damn this episode is awesome.
• I guess the Kiss the Librarian mug is Spike's for always now - he was drinking out of it last episode too. Also I'm guessing Giles will never want to use it again ever.
• And then Anya makes a sex gesture with her fingers SERIOUSLY HOW DID NONE OF THE CENSORS CATCH ANY OF THIS.
• Amber Benson is so much more attractive than they ever let Tara be.
• Oh hey lurv feels.
• So I haven't really been snarking on Tara yet, even though I've mentioned before that I'm not a huge fan. She's fine in this episode and I still love the idea of her. I just don't love the performance.
• I wonder what would have happened if the Gentlemen had succeeded in getting seven hearts. World domination? A world without shrimp? Everyone starts singing their feelings?
• Mmm I take back my no-snarking-on-Tara comment. Her stuttering is badly done. And I just don't think she's an interesting actress.
• Tara: "No, you are." Daniel, his voice catching "Oh my god." he's really cute, you guys.
• Aw Giles. I'm sorry. He can tell Olivia probably won't be coming back.
• "I guess we have to talk."//  "I guess we do." silence
• BAM! Mr. Whedon, that episode was awesome.

Daniel's Thoughts:

• OMG.  I’m so excited for this episode!
• Andy Hallett, of Angel is an extra in this scene!

He's two behind Buffy

• Buffy, I’ve had this exact dream.  In the front of a classroom…with Riley…  I won’t elaborate more.
• Creepy girl and nursery rhymes = episode potential.
• OMG.  The gentlemen! SCARY.
• Well Willow seems better than last episode.  She’s teasing Buffy and now following her to make sure that her friend is happy. It’s so cute. ;)
• Petroleum.  That’s a great cover, Buffy.
• At least grading papers is a better excuse, Buff.  And he didn’t even question your whole crude oil excuse.
• Amber Benson!  First episode!
• Why is Spike not tied up?
• “All you care about is lots of orgasms.”  ANYA!
• These Wicca women are hilarious.  Especially the lead girl – she’s so good at being a douche.
• Mmm, Riley.  Mmm, Sweaty Riley.
• Forrest: “Thank god we’re pretty.”  Heh.
• And thus starts the Xander/Spike slash.

Note: I did not make this and I do not ship it.

• Olivia! The orgasm friend!
• Man, the gentlemen are so freaking scary.  And it’s the actors that really seal it.  The way they move, etc.
• And the silence begins…
• Why is that girl so upset that she can’t talk?  I mean, it’s just the beginning…for all she knows, she has a bug or something.
• This is such a great acting exercise for the actors.
• Such a good scene with the telephone – they’re so used to doing these things that they don’t think before they pick it up.  Texting would be good right now.
• I love how they’re disgusted by the guy selling message boards and…then proceed to buy them.
• I don’t understand why everyone’s so upset about this…I’d love if everyone just stopped talking.  Amirite?
• And all the creative ways to communicate – it’s kind of amazing.
• First kiss between Riley & Buffy because they stopped talking!
• I wonder how much Olivia knows about Giles and Sunnydale.  We never really get to explore her. It's "The Freshman," where she doesn't see anything, this, and then it's only Dream Olivia in "Restless".
• Man, they are so freaking scary.
• Giles is so proud of his presentation.
• I love that Anya brought popcorn.
• This: 

You can't take your eyes off it, can you?

• The buffy pic that Giles draws is awesome.  Buffy getting offended is even awesomer.
• Giles drew her with a  crossbow and now she’s carrying one to patrol.  That’s so cute!  Power of suggestion!  Not that it’ll do her any good.
• Tara and Willow will make a good couple because they share the same awful fashion sense.  At least they can share clothes.
• Those dorm doors should have peepholes.
• I like the idea of the gentlemen having those weird helpers.  It’s something Buffy can fight.
• Love the moment of recognition between Buffy and Riley.  So good.
• Is this the one with the misunderstanding, Jack, Janet & Chrissy?
• Though – it’s really cute that Xander would fight Spike for Anya.
• Also this: 

• How did you two meet?  We were in a wicca group together and then fought off monsters with our psychic energy.  We held hands and it was all awesome.  Meet-Cute!
• Nice electro-gun, Riley!
• Buffy's scream is kinda chilling.
• “I’m nothing special.”//”No, you are.”  OMG, Tara is so in love.
• Ahh, I guess Olivia did know a little bit, though she didn’t believe it until now.
• “I guess we have to talk.”  “I guess we do.”  Nothing.  Brilliant end.

Favorite Lines:

Zelda: "Can't even shout. Can't even cry. The Gentlemen are coming by. Looking in windows, knocking on doors. They need to take seven and they might take yours. Can't call to mom. Can't say a word. You're gonna die screaming but you won't be heard."

Daniel: “All you care about is lots of orgasms.” - Anya

**Note: Despite being a mostly silent episode, there were still so many brilliant lines to choose from.

Arc/Continuity Stuff:

Recurring: Walsh, Riley, Olivia, Anya, Forrest

First appearance: Tara

Buffy and Riley's first kiss.

Also, now Buffy knows Riley's a commando and Riley knows Buffy's a ... something fighty.

Tara inherited her witchy power from her mom.

Stats:

Anya's Hair - short and brown

Dead Humans - 2 (we know they collect more hearts, but we're only counting the deaths we see)

Dead Undeads - 7 (same for this)

Dead Flashbacks - 0

Giles Unconscious - 0

Giles Cleans His Glasses - 0

Buffy Breaks a Door - 0

Evil Reveal - 0

Unevil Reveal - 0

Shenanigans Called - 3

Apocalypse Called - 0

It's All Right - I Have More Scotch

Episode 4.9: Something Blue. Original Airdate 11.30.99

"One of Willow's spells causes her statements to become reality, with consequences both entertaining and life-threatening."

Daniel's Thoughts:

• Something Blue. Or something blew? No, but seriously. I do like this episode. It's fun. What I hate about it is that it's a precursor to future events. I don't know if the writers knew this and/or did it on purpose. But that's what I hate. The dread.
• Aww. Oz. Willow Sad. I don't like sad Willow :(
• Reason 215 why Riley is awesome: Lesbian equality! Though why do they need a MAN to hang up their sign? [Because he's 8 feet tall? - Z]
• Also...look at that - all the lesbians are completely and totally lipstick.
• Buffy's hair looks awful. Like...a cavewoman.
• HOW CAN ANYONE NOT LOVE THESE TWO? "Say, don't you just love a picnic?" I feel like he's going to start singing Oklahoma.
• And Buffy - I mean that's the thing. There's something messed up about always expecting misery. Safe doesn't have to mean boring.
• And...Spike's in a bathtub.
• I wonder if Olivia got Giles that "Kiss the Librarian" mug. [I accept this as canon. - Z]j
• Oh man, Aly Hannigan crying.
• Even vampires have their shows that they must watch. Spike will be excited when DVR is invented. And Netflix.
• Remember when Passions was a thing? (link to imdb page)
• And yet another reason Riley is awesome. Inviting poor mourning Willow to sit and crash his date with Buffy.
• ANYA! See? She's helping. She offered to kill Oz if she had her powers. She's the best!
• Buffy: "Anybody remember when Buffy had the fun beerfest and went 1 Million Years B.C.?" Me: Yeah she still has the hair.
• Why are they being so hard on Willow? Why can't she have a few beers and drink her sorrows? I mean does anyone remember how Buffy pined over Parker for like 100 episodes? And he was a douchey douche. Not even a boyfriend. Willow was actually in love with Oz.
• So how come Willow can't straighten a q-tip but all these other things she doesn't mean to happen happen?
• Sorry, I think Willow's argument is completely fair. She doesn't complain much; she can't have a few off days?
• Amy! Naked Amy! For like a second! It's so awesome that they got Elizabeth Anne Allen to come back for a 2 second cameo.

• OMG. They're all awful friends. Go out. Get drunk with your friend. It helps.
• Spuffy kissing. I bet Giles is glad he's blind.
• "Hey, I was just trying to help." This is a prime example of Nicky's awful, awful line deliveries. He just sounded...mean when he said that. There was nothing else in there. That's, unfortunately, how a lot of his line readings come across.
• Ha! I love that Giles is so touched at first because it is something Buffy would do - ask Giles to give her away at her wedding. And then he realizes how ridiculous this all is.
• Look! Archways! It might be a Sunnydale set.
• "You'll really like him....well nobody really likes him." Heh.
• "How? What? How?" // "Three excellent questions."
• D'Hoffryn!
• Anya's helping!
• I don't know if Willow's caused enough pain to be considered for a vengeance demon spot. I mean the worst she really did was blind Giles. She sent a few lame demons after Xander and she gave Spike and Buffy a happy pill. Which was all accidental. I mean, it's true she's powerful and D'Hoffryn sees power in her - but she's not evil enough. Unless he can foresee what happens in a couple of years... [Yes to all of this. The closest she got to vengeance-yness was when she almost cast that spell on Veruca. - Z]
• Willow's shirt: "speak no evil." Cute, costume designer.
• "We may be into a forgetting spell later." Foreshadowing!
• Riley says something endearing and walks away. Buffy stands and looks after him. She can't walk after him because she's short and standing on an apple box.

Zelda's Thoughts:

• Yay! I'm excited. This episode is hilarious.
• Aw shit we start off with a feels punch. Photos of Oz and Willow. When does the hilarious get here?
• Aw Riley rehearses conversations with Buffy. That's actually kind of cute slash maybe I've done that too. Not conversations with Buffy. Conversations with - never mind. Hey look a tv show!
• I'd like this better if he were a better actor.
• Parking lot graveyard! Do a shot.
• Naw, Buffy, you know who has good arms? My boyfriend Jeremy Renner.

• If nothing else, this ep is good for pointing Buffy firmly toward Riley as a love interest. She talks with Willow about still craving the danger and violence that she had with Angel - the part where he made her miserable - and lacking that with Riley. Willow's spell matches her with dangerous and violent (well, formerly) Spike and she almost loses Riley in front of the bridal shop, so this makes it clear to her what she wants and what she doesn't want.
• YAY SPIKE IN A BATHTUB. I mean. Um. Stuff.
• "Giles, help, he's gonna scold me." God I freaking love their chemistry. Their mutual loathing is just hilarious and awesome.
• "Giles, make her stop." So much like siblings driving each other crazy and turning to mom to fix it.
• Another moment of the writers trying to make Spike the new Cordelia "Are you people blind? She's hanging on by a thread. Any ninny can see that."
• No one should ever make Willow cry just because Alyson Hannigan is so good at it. Poor Willow. :( Stupid Oz.
• "Come on, now! It's Telly Time!" Seriously I want the spinoff of these two as flatmates.
• "Timmy's down the bloody well! And if you make me miss it, I''ll -" // "You'll do what, lick me to death?"
• "Cars and Buffy are like ... unmixy things." Hey~ One more thing Buffy and I have in common! We're totally the same person. [With different hair - D]
• Vineyards? Sunnydale has vineyards now? And yet is a town that Buffy can traverse as an avid pedestrian? I'm starting to suspect Sunnydale of TARDIS-ness.
• Hi drunk Willow! Did we learn nothing from Beer Bad?
• See, I understand sadness and not being able to pull out, but when she starts taking jabs at her friends - belittling Xander's situation - it's not cool.
• "You have to go through the pain" // "Well, isn't there some way I can make it just go away? Just cuz I say so? Can't I just make it go poof?" Sadly, this is a lesson Willow continues to not learn and accept, and it will form the basis of her arc of S6.
• I wonder why it is - as it's never explained - that Willow's will-be-done spell goes awry. Things she intends to work don't, and random declarations she makes about her friends do. Is it just supposed to be that she's not yet proficient enough? Is it only when she attaches emotion to what she says that it works? Each time her will gets done here, it's her being mad at her friends for failing her (in her perception). Giles points out that in her heightened emotional state, the spell may not have cast correctly, and that's really all the explanation we get.
• Listen to Giles, Willow. He is wise and British.
• I like the detail that Spike's black nail polish is chipping away. Although I must say it's nice that Buffy and Giles cared enough to touch up his roots with bleach because those roots are whiiiiiiiteblond.
• Oops Spike escaped.
• "If I had any real power, I could have made Oz stay with me." Ooh lawdy that's a dangerous thought.
• I'm not quite sure why finding Spike is a priority, when he's still basically toothless? Is it because they still need info on the Initiative from him? Okay, I'm going with that.
• I love the double ow of Spike - ow from hitting Buffy, ow from getting hit by Buffy.
• "Giles, I accidentally killed Spike. That's okay, right?"
• WHEEEEEEEEEEE SPIKE AND BUFFY ARE SO SAPPY AND IT'S HILARIOUS. I love that she's crying. SMG for the win.
• And now we have metaphorized Willow's lashing out at her friends with spelliness. Stop lashing out at Xander, Willow. He loves you. You and your yellow crayon.
• "Mr. and Mrs. Big Pile of Dust."
• So here's what I love about this - while clearly the being in love with, and wanting to marry, Spike, are the result of the spell and have no current basis in reality - I like to think that if Buffy had her druthers, if she weren't weighted down with slayeryness, this is the sappy kind of bride she would be, and it's adorable and sweet. It's like how she wanted to be homecoming queen, how she wanted to have a perfect moment at prom, how she wanted to be a cheerleader. This is a glimpse at Buffy if she got to be normal. You know, if we ignore the engaged-to-a-vampire part.
• hahahaha and even spelled Spike resents everything about Angel at all times. My name is Zelda and I approve this message.
• Hah and see Spike is starting to help take care of blind Giles. This supports my theory of Everything Spike Does is Guided By His Stupid Heart (short version, Love's Bitch). When he's in love with Buffy, he'll help fight on Buffy's side. Although it takes him a long time, his crush on Buffy is what starts him on his path toward redemptioness.
• "You'll really like him ... Well, nobody really likes him. I don't even really like him. But I love him!" perfect delivery.
• "He's totally old. Well, not as old as my last boyfriend was."
• At least Xander realized that "fruit roll ups of love" was not the sexiest thing to say.
• I like that Anya's knowledge of demons and such helps them destroy the Serparvo demon.
• "So the plan is to cure my total incapacitating blindness ... tomorrow, is it?"
• Wow Buffy already has sooooo much wedding prep swag. I'm impressed.
• "Whereas the name Buffy gives it that touch of classic elegance." // "What's wrong with Buffy" // "Such a good question." Seriously, the banter in this episode rocks.
• "And you both were affected. I probably only escaped because I'm the Slayer. Some kind of natural immunity." I freaking love it. SMG is hilarious.
• Blind Giles is not quite as funny as Drunk Giles, but I still enjoy him.
• "OH MY GOD wouldn't this be a perfect place for pictures?" Figures she chose old reliable Alpert mausoleum.
• Oh yeah, Spike doesn't know he can fight demons yet.
• Oops Spike and Buffy are not a great fit, IT TURNS OUT. He talked about her quitting slaying, as it kills his friends (what friends?) and then when she bristled at him "protecting" her, he said "Oh, not with the girl power bit!" bad Spike. You're completely ruining my theory of Everything Spike Does Blah Blah Blah. Fine, whatever. Go be a theory ruiner.
• Heh I like how matter of fact D'Hoffryn is after Willow turns him down. Another instance of what could have been a whatever character, made richer by a good actor. Andy Umberger (one of Joss's hat trick actors) is awesome in this part.
• haaaaaaaaaa Buffy's and Spike's face when the spell lifts. So amazing.
• hah Anya, annoyed "How long are you going to keep making these?" This is why Emma Caulfield is awesome. The line didn't have to be said with any annoyance, just a question; she flavored it that way and made it funnier and specific to character.
• I want a cookie now.
• Who am I kidding, I want a cookie always.
• Buffy plays it off with Riley pretty well. She's lucky he's already completely infatuated with her.

  

Favorite Lines:

Daniel: "Please stop whatever you're doing. You smell like fruit roll-ups." - Giles

Zelda: "How? What? How?" // "Three excellent questions." - Xander/Giles

Arc/Continuity Stuff:

• Recurring: Anya, Riley, Amy, D'Hoffryn.
• Buffy saw Angel in LA for only "five minutes." Because waaaaaaaaaaah
• Devon gets a shoutout.
• Buffy shouts out to her Beer Bad activities.
• Another moment of Willow turning to magic as a shortcut to solve her emotional distress.
• Amy the Rat turns human for one second! And then she's a rat again.

Stats:

Anya's Hair - really short and brown

Dead Humans - 0

Dead Undeads - 2

Dead Flashbacks - 0

Giles Unconscious - 0

Giles Cleans His Glasses - 1

Buffy Breaks a Door - 0

Evil Reveal - 0

Unevil Reveal - 0

Shenanigans Called - 0

Apocalypse Called - 0