I'm so stuffy. Give me a scone.

Episode 2.4: Inca Mummy Girl. Original Airdate 10.6.97

"A beautiful Inca princess who was buried alive in a tomb 500 years ago is brought back to life."

Zelda's Thoughts:

Okay. Man. I want to like this episode. Or rather, I want to not hate it. I want it to not be shrouded under Reptile Boy's shadow of pure suckage. So I try to keep reminding myself that it's not as bad as I keep thinking it is. And it's not, it's not as bad as I keep thinking it is. But. It's also not good. Here's my main beef: I get that the Mummy (I'm not calling her Ampata because Ampata is a dude) is meant as a bit of a foil for Buffy - she was chosen as a sacrifice to protect her people; Buffy was also chosen, not necessarily as a sacrifice (though that could be a side effect), but as a protector of her people. Neither one had a say in the assignment of this role, and both have had to play with the hand they're dealt. But. The Mummy makes bad, wrong, immoral, WRONG choices. Choices Buffy would never make. It's the same situation that comes up with Ford in "Lie to Me," but I don't think the Mummy is given the same level of condemnation, though she should be - "You have a choice. You don't have a good choice, but you have a choice. You're opting for mass murder here, and nothing you say is gonna make that okay." Nothing is gonna make the Mummy's behavior okay, and by the way NO KILLING JONATHAN IN HIS VERY FIRST EPISODE. Now to the bullets:

• "It's the Ubersuck." Is this our first time hearing them use "Uber?"
• There's a whole catalogue with pictures of the exchange students. So why doesn't Buffy have a picture of male Ampata?
• "What he lacks in smarts he makes up for in lack of smarts."
• Sure is convenient that Buffy and crew provide Inca Mummy Girl with all the needed exposition while standing over her - his name's Ampata and he's arriving at the Sunnydale Bus Depot.
• They are upping their body count a lot this season, especially considering how bloodless the end of the season one was (save the finale).
• Buffy wins her argument with Giles by punching his punching bag over and over and over. Awesome.
• It's good Xander is trying to not encourage Willow's feelings. But ... sad Willow.
• You know, if we were tracking Giles taking off his glasses, rather that the actual cleaning of them, our stats would be huge.
• Awww the Scoobies realizing that their joke about the Mummy killing Rodney ... might not be a joke.
• Xander's condescending signing/speaking slowly = obnoxious. Can we stop it now?
• So...was male Ampata gonna sleep in Buffy's room? How in the hell would Joyce be okay with that? WORST MOM EVER.
• Shenanigans! How would Buffy turning off her bedroom light take the light off the bodyguard's face? Is he in the tree? Maybe this is the same way Warren's magic bullet spoilered spoiler.
• "She doesn't have to talk." Ew.
• "It is very old, valuable ... YOU SHOULD HIDE IT." Nice try, Mummy.
• TWINKIES. Yay. I want Twinkies now. "That's why you bring two."
• "I like you like it ... please don't learn from my English."
• SHENANIGANS! Willow playing with the frog. Where's that frog fear, Rosenberg???

Credit to V at Coincidence and Leprechauns for pointing this out.

• She's so freaking disingenuous. See, this is why the Mummy is a full-on villain and not someone I can feel sympathy for, even with the parallels drawn between her and Buffy. She wantonly kills dudes, foolishly flirts with Xander when she has to know where that will lead, and spits all these lies at Giles about the seal, and tries to convince them it's the bodyguard who is the threat. The actress is playing her very sympathetically/ingenuey, but ... she's a bad bad person.
• "Hey, look at us. We came up with a plan. A good plan. ... No, bad plan! I have other plans! Dance plans! ...Cancelled plans."
• Buffy's wearing her depression overalls again. Maybe I'm confusing regular overalls with her depression overalls.
• Aw, I like the picture of Buffy and Willow and Xander. Especially because of how they'll keep using it for the rest of the series.
• Nice quiet touch of Buffy finding boy's clothes in Ampata's luggage.
• Angel is AWOL again.
• "Get. Punchy. You. Fruit drinky."
• Poor sad eskimo Willow.
• Man, Xander really does have shit luck when it comes to romance. A Slayer who ain't ever gonna love him, a praying mantis, a Mummy, and next - CORDELIA.
• TINY LITTLE JONATHAN IN HIS AUSTRALIAN OUTFIT.
• "Next time you should probably say shrug." ...that was said in a really mean tone, Xander. Ugh. Stop making my job of defending you against Daniel so hard! [...-D]
• Nooooooooooooooo don't kill Jonathan!
• And see? This? Where she actually does kiss Xander and start to suck him dry? Un-fucking-forgiveable, especially if she loves him as she claims to do. She is a bad person!
• Awwww Oz tried to talk to Willow but she ran away! THEIRLOVEISSOTRUE
• Oh good, now she's going to try to kill Giles. She's the worst person ever. She's worse than Britta.
• And now she's trying to kill Willow. I can't even.
• Also you shouldn't try to bury Buffy alive. She really hates that.
• I am literally yelling at the tv for Giles to clean his glasses. They're covered in Mummy dust! I'm sure they need a good cleaning!
• I'm not buying Buffy's defense of the Mummy's actions. Not a bit. Because she's an awful person. And she did things Buffy would never ever do.

Daniel's Thoughts:

• Bully Rodney likes nerdy Willow!
• Poor Willow.  So sad cause Xander likes yet another girl that's not her.  She really just...needs to discover girls already.
• Welcome to Sunnydale, Ampata. Now die!  
• It's really not nice for the school of Sunnydale to invite guests to a city that has such a high mortality rate. 
• And it's a lucky coincidence that Ampata and mummy girl were generally from the same region.  Because I don't think she could have been called "Sven".
• I love whenever they show Giles with his little itty bitty tea cup.  Giles wears Tweed.  He drinks tea.  We get it, he's English.
• Is Ampata wearing Joyce's jeans? 
• Willow looks so cute in her little Eskimo outfit.  This is why we love Willow.
• One of the Cordettes looks like Kirsten Dunst.
• This Rabbi is rockin' out:

• SHENANIGANS! It's really nice that this museum has no security guards.  People can scrape ancient masks, steal plates, have knock down, drag out fights, break in and try to replace and glue together broken mystical plates, etc...etc...etc...
• And why is Xander stopping Willow from having her first lesbian kiss??  Oh...cause it'll kill her.  Carry on, then.

Crossfire!

Xander: Oh, yeah. Fall for the old 'let me translate that ancient seal for ya' come on. Tsh. D'ya know how many times I've used that?

Zelda: Ha!

Daniel: PSh. Shut up Xander.

Zelda: It's funny!

Daniel: It's not funny!

Zelda: You're not funny.

Daniel: Your face is not funny.

Favorite Lines:

Zelda: "That girl. Who is she? No not her ... the Eskimo." - Oz. AWWWW I CAN'T STAND THE CUTE YOU CAN SEE HIM FALL IN LOVE. 

This is the look of love, ladies and gents

Daniel: "Well, it involves a feather boa and the theme from A Summer Place." - Oz

90s Factoid:

Work those mummyjeans  momjeans , Ampata.

Arc/Continuity Stuff:

• First appearance of Devon, who is currently dating Cordy.
• First appearance and performance by Oz's band Dingoes Ate My Baby.
• Oz's first appearance. Yay Oz! Oz's hair is orange today. Today.
• Jonathan's first appearance! Yay Jonathan!

Stats:

Voiceover - Giles

Dead Humans - 3

Dead Undeads - 1

Giles Unconscious - 1

Giles Cleans His Glasses - 0

Buffy Breaks a Door -0

Evil Reveal - 0

Unevil Reveal - 1

Shenanigans Called - 3

Apocalypse Called - 0