I'm the one getting Single White Femaled here.

Episode 3.3: Faith, Hope & Trick. Original Airdate 10.13.98

"A charismatic Slayer visits Sunnydale and wins over many of Buffy's friends. Meanwhile, two powerful vampires plot an attack."

Daniel's Thoughts:

• The title of this episode is clever because it introduces three recurring characters – though it’s a little too 'in your face' cutesie.
• Wow, I actually like Willow’s outfit.  The pants are a bit bright…and orange…but they’re cool.  And I like her fuzzy blue sweater.
• I don’t think my HS had a rule about leaving for lunch.  I mean…who was going to stop us? They don't take attendance at lunch. And there were so many entrances, not all of them can be guarded. [Our Assistant Principal was rumored to hide under cars during lunch to catch students sneaking off campus. True story. - Z]
• Martha Stewart slays!!  I bet that’s true.
• Oh, Scott Hope.  (#2 in the episode title) You may not know you’re gay.  But we knew from the beginning.
• "You're supposed to stop me when you do that."//  "I like when you do that."  SO CUTE.
• Ugh. Mr. Trick. (#3 in the episode title). You’re a horrible addition to the recurring character pool and nothing good will every come from you.
• And another dream Angel…because….  Ya know what, you know by now why.
• Eww, gross dead make up.

Groossssss

• Snyder’s back to being funnily awesome.  I love: “get a written recommendation from anyone in the faculty who is not an English librarian.”  Hehe.
• Yay.  Joyce is being a good mom, standing by her daughter and acting like an immature child on her behalf.
• Willow is doing a lot of observational humor this episode.  She commented on the way Buffy does this half-moon smile and the way Giles does this click with his tongue when he’s annoyed.  Ya know who else does observational humor?  Ellen DeGeneres.  She’s like Ellen.  Umm…spoilers!
• I like the subplot of Giles helping Buffy under the guise of doing a spell for Acathla.
• Willow is going to grow a lot this season what with the witchery and stuff.  And I like that Giles is concerned from the beginning.
• Hey, who’s that slut on the dance floor?  It’s Faith! (#1 in the episode of the title)
• Buffy, don’t get flustered over Scott Hope.  He’s cute and all but he plays for my team.
• 70s vampire is an awesome dancer but he needs new moves.  I know he’s dead but he’s still been in this world for the last twenty-thirty years.
• Welcome Faith, the evil twin.  And I like that she calls Buffy, “B”.
• I’m going to try to count how many times the writers make Eliza Dushku say “Aboat”. (about.) This will be a new stat. I’m convinced they do it on purpose.  Her accent is so weird.
• Love the alligator story.
• I love the whole hungry & horny conversation.  “Sometimes I crave a non-fat yogurt afterwards".
• "It’s a long story."//" I got bit."//"Apparently not that long."
• Five by Five!  What the fuck does that mean? Oh.
• SHENANIGANS!  Giles is the watcher they chose to be the ONE SLAYER’S watcher.  Why on Earth would the council not respect him enough to invite him to the convention?  Sorry, but a lot of the council lore/history makes absolutely no sense to me.
• "Raise your hand if ew"
• Sarah is so good at finding the humor in things and making little gestures.  She throws in this offhanded gesture when everyone makes plans for her around her. It was one of the things I miss in other things she does – especially Ringer.  I’m sure half of it is the way she’s directed.
• Ok, now Willow is wearing an awful outfit.

Good                                       Bad

• I dunno if I believe Faith flirting with Scott Hope.  I think she’s the type of gal who has gay-dar.
• Kakistos isn’t that scary. 
• Buffy calls Joyce “best mom ever.”  Note the sarcasm in her voice.
• I like jealous Buffy.
• Joyce: “Well does anyone else think she’s creepy?” Yeah, because that reasoning worked with Ted.  Trust Buffy's instincts, Joyce.
• Oh…the realization on Joyce’s face when she finds out that Buffy died once…that’s heart-breaking.
• The slayer pride parade.  OY.  Enough with the gay metaphors.
• “He lived for kissing toast” HAHAHA. “Or maybe it was taquitos”.  HAHAHAH X2
• I like the continuity that extremely old vampires develop animal-like features.  I wonder if Angel will eventually get a donkey…  er…  tail.
• YOU’RE OVER-COMPENSATING SCOTT HOPE. (and I love you.)
• Nice revelation that Faith’s watcher was a woman.  I think it’s cool that being a watcher is an equal opportunity thing.  But…being a slayer is not.
• A lot of death in this episode!
• I think this is the only time we see Faith truly scared.  It feels out of character for her knowing how she’s written later.
• OK.  I think I get, now, why everyone wasn’t as understanding as they should have been when Buffy ran away.  The moment Buffy admits that Angel was cured when she killed him, they have an “oh shit” moment….and I think they finally get it.  And I loved this reveal that the whole binding spell was just a ruse to get Buffy to open up.
• Also, I think Xander wasn’t in this scene because he wouldn’t have cared either way. Stupid Xander.
• Nice sweater vest, Scott.  I wore those in High School, too.  And then I came out. (love me back, Scott!)

Get that hand off your hip, Scott.

• I don’t really understand Angel’s castle/house but I kinda like it.
• Angel’s back! And he’s naked! And we see his butt!  DAVID BOREAN-ASS!

Borean-ASS!

• Faith's "aboat" Count. 3

Zelda's Thoughts:

• Aw it's cute how they carry Willow off campus.
• "Prepare to uncouple. Uncouple." That was also cute.
• "Oh, I hear she can, but she doesn't like to." Oz, why are you the best? It hardly seems fair to anyone else.
• Willow has the cutest babbles. It's also nice how much she wants to help Buffy get back into stuff.
• Xander's laugh turning into "ow." This whole scenario I love. Everyone so bantery and cute and I love it.
• "All right, yes, date and shop and hang out and go to school and save the world from unspeakable demons. You know, I wanna do girly stuff."
• Happy Burger. Really?

Yes, really. At least it's not Doublemeat Palace.

• Mr. Trick has such swagger to him.
• Nice misdirect on the "Kill the Slayer" bit.
• I wonder who's driving the limo? And how did he know not to pull away til Mr. Trick got his human snack?
• Oho Angel's wearing white in this dream.
• Nice reminder of their claddagh rings.
• Stop trying to act, DB. "Go to hell! I DID." should be "I did."
• Buffy, stop playing with the letter opener blade. Also, Snyder, you really shouldn't have that in school. I guess Sunnydale High doesn't have a zero tolerance policy like my high school did.
• "That's like having your whole ability to do this job called into question" d'awwwww
• Ah yes. Giles's ploy to get Buffy to tell the truth about what happened when she killed Angel.
• Aramaic, eh? I just so happen to be fluent in Aramaic. [editor's note: Zelda is not fluent in Aramaic]
• "If I were [mad], I would be making a strange clucking sound with my tongue." Oh Giles.
• Cute, sneaking Faith's first appearance into a group dance shot.

We see what you did there, show.

• Scott actually is being charming and handling Buffy's skittishness very well. Too bad he pulls a pretty douche move two episodes down.(and then gets retconned into even douchier behavior later, as indicated by Holden Webster) 
• "Plus bonus points for use of the word mosey."
• "Check out Slut-O-Rama and her Disco Dave" Yay Cordy is pointing out a vamp to Buffy
• Hiya Faith. oh man you were so yoooooooooooooooung
• Did they decide in Season Three that Cordelia was the new Exposition Fairy instead of Giles? Taking advantage of her lack of tact? I'm not complaining, cuz it's funny, but ... was that a decision they made?
• And the birth of fucking Five By Five.
• Poor Giles and his inferiority complex about the Watchers' Retreat. Man, did the Council just not have any stake in Buffy (after her first Watcher was killed), that they send a Watcher who never even went on a Retreat to watch the One and Only Slayer?
• Though it helps with our not realizing that Faith is lying about where her Watcher is.
• Willow's and Xander's tour of Sunnydale High is adorbs. "Here's where we almost died! Here's where we almost died again!"
• Cordy to Xander: "What is it with you and Slayers?" Yep.
• "We're looking at what?" SMG is really funny this episode.
• What's with the random vamp waving that thurible?

Seriously, are all Incredibly Old Vampires obsessed with Catholicism?

• "Rumor has it that this town already has a Slayer, which makes two ... I'm not real sure how that happened." Trick is so awesome. 
• I love that all the vampires' "food" is fast food workers.
• "Well, sure, it beats that dead feeling you get when they win and you lose."
• I'm glad the Single White Female Buffy-is-paranoid-for-nothing thing doesn't last, and they all figure out that our Buffy is better than any Buffy who's not our Buffy. Even if SMG is funny. "Look, now she's getting along with my fries!"
• It is a very nice concept they entertain, though - what if Buffy didn't have to do it full time? (if only Faith didn't have a skewed sense of morality) What if she could explore what else she might want to do with her time? That's what's so satisfying about the final moment of Chosen. Now, finally, she gets to do that. (Except not, if you read the comics.)
• Faith's a lil bit ragey.
• "She doesn't need a life, she has mine."
• Kissing Toast, Taquitos. I love Buffy's complete inability/disinterest in the names of old vamps and demons.
• "There are two things that I don't believe in - coincidence and leprechauns." We believe, V!
• Scott Hope, trying again. "Keaton is key." It's sweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet.
• But then he gives a RING OF SAD TRAUMA FEELS
• ED is good as Faith. I'm not overly impressed with her range, especially on Dollhouse, but she's very good in this episode. Her brazen attitude, and now her childlike fear and grief, her panic, are all very honest.
• "If we don't do something, the Master could get killed. Well, our prayers are with him." Oh Trick, you've got the same modern blase that Spike had. No wonder you were popular. You're written remarkably similarly, at least on introduction.
• Willow's face when Buffy finally tells the truth about Angel's death. Buffy's face too. All the sad things. And they're even playing the Buffy/Angel theme underneath it all. You are MEAN, show.
• "There is no spell."
• Alyson Hannigan's eyes take up half her face.
• I still don't understand the mechanics of how/why Angel returns. Is it the ring? Is it luck? Deus ex machina? We never find out, do we? I kind of want to call a shenanigan ... Metaphorically I get it, because she finally was able to talk about what happened that night, to start to let go of him, to say goodbye, to stop dreaming of him. But like ... outside of the metaphor ... why? Is this a Powers That Be intervention (which, FUCK that concept, Angel the Show, fuck it right into the ground), which will appear again to save him in Amends?

Crossfire!

The moment in question.

Z: SHE. NAN. I. GANS. Kakistos was able to get his arm past the doorway into Faith's apartment. What the actual fuckage. I don't care how cloven his hooves are, he shouldn't be able to do that.

D: See, I can forgive this for a number of reasons.  I think a lot of the mystical properties of a vampire not being able to enter a home depends on what constitutes a home.  1) This seems like more of a motel than an apartment. I realize it's more of a long-term living area but Faith pays daily which means she could leave any day.  In that way, it's not really an established home. 2) Faith packed her bags to leave and was on her way out so even if at one point, it was considered her home - at that particular point, it was not.

Favorite Lines:

Daniel: "The girl's not playing with a full deck, Giles. She has almost no deck.  She has a three." - Buffy

Zelda: Buffy: It's a long story.

Oz: Got bit.

Buffy: Apparently not that long.

90s Factoid:

Willow's furry sweater

Arc/Continuity Stuff:

• Scott Hope is here and he likes Buffy.
• Mr. Trick is also here but he doesn't like Buffy.
• In this universe, very old vampires acquire inhuman physical attributes, in addition to always being in gameface - The Master was wrinkly and batlike; Kakistos (also called "the Master" by Trick) has cloven limbs.
• Willow has been investigating magicks and spell ingredients, including floating feather and fire out of ice. Giles is concerned.
• When Kendra was killed by Drusilla in Becoming: Part 1, Faith was called as the next Slayer.
• There's an annual Watcher's Retreat. Giles has never been invited.
• Giles used to love a good kayak.
• Angel is back! And nekkid!

Stats:

Oz's Hair - red

Dead Humans - 3

Dead Undeads - 6

Dead Flashbacks - 0

Giles Unconscious - 0

Giles Cleans His Glasses - 0

Buffy Breaks a Door - 0

Evil Reveal - 0

Unevil Reveal - 0

Shenanigans Called - 2

Apocalypse Called - 0

Do You Like My Mask? Isn't It Pretty?

 Episode 3.2: Dead Man's Party. Original Airdate 10.6.98

"A Nigerian mask reanimates the dead, forcing Buffy to battle a horde of zombies."

Zelda's Thoughts:

• "It's angry at the room. It wants the room to suffer." I don't use this one, but I'd like to start.
• Bless you, Joyce. You're trying to be supportive of the slaying, of finding her friends, trying to feed her. It's awkward, but you want your daughter to feel safe to be herself, safe to stay home this time.
• Oh come ON. That's CLEARLY Xander, Buffy.
• And Buffy's trying to banter, and Xander just can't process, and there's so much in his face, he's happy to see her, but he's hurt, and there's a bit of anger.
• And then they're all just staring at her from the ground. Willow's tentatively happy, Oz just looks pissed, which is interesting to me, since I'd say he had the least relationship with Buffy, of the four. 

• I guess it shouldn't have been a surprise Angel was gonna come back, since there'e still so much of him in the opening credits. Still, must have been confusing at the time.

Giles feels...Britishly.

• Guys, it's time for more feels! Giles and Buffy! Giles and Buffy! 
• "Hey, so you're not wanted for murder, anymore." It's nice they're all bantering with her. Belgium and the like.
• "We dusted nine out of ten ... six out of ten."
• The problem is they had to learn how to exist without her, and it's hard to adjust back to having her around.
• Oh Pat. Hello Pat.
• I wonder if DB insisted in his contract that he get some sunlight scenes. He got one last week, he's got one this week, he'll get one in his dream of their wedding in The Prom.
• Giles knows the mask is Nigerian because he knows All the Things.
• "I love art talk as much as the next very dull person."
• I'm fairly certain Giles isn't allowed to bring cats, zombified or otherwise, on school property.
• "I like it. I think you should call it Patches."
• "Thanks for ruining our lives for the past three months." - this is the core of the resentment, the abandonment. What's hard is Xander's not fully understanding or appreciating that Buffy's life was ruined too (granted, because she's not telling them). WE WON'T EVEN MENTION THAT HE'S PARTIALLY RESPONSIBLE FOR IT.
• I'm sorry, that drawing doesn't really look like the mask.

Didn't quite get the teeth right.

• Ew, Pat brought cold empanadas? Those babies are good only when fresh. I want an empanada. [There's this great place by me.  Next time we do a Buffy day, we'll order some - D]
• And then the party is too big and so no one can talk. That's the problem. No one is actually talking, about what happened before, about what's happening now. Instead, resentments are festering. Everyone's in pain but not sharing it. And when Buffy tries to ask Willow what's going on, Willow pretends nothing is wrong. Granted, it's (at least in part) because she is glad Buffy's back and she doesn't want to scare Buffy off again, but the result is that Buffy doesn't feel like there's any communication or connection, so she's got no real feeling she ought to stay either.
• Xander's trying to whitewash it too - "guess a lot of people are glad to have you back." "We all do. It's great to have the Buffster back." He's also distracted by his relationship with Cordelia.
• I'd say it's convenient all these people are dying, and thus providing us with zombies, but ... it's Sunnydale. My argument is invalid. 
• And then Buffy overhears just the wrong part of Joyce's conversation with Pat. I actually super massively hate this storytelling cliche, the overhearing/misunderstanding. Like, a lot. It's lazy writing. I'm glad the show doesn't do it that often. [It's a tired Soap Opera technique and you're right, beneath this show. -D]
• Parking lot playground full o' zombies!
• This guy on the phone makes me laugh. "That guy's gotta do a shot!"
• I wonder what Willow was coming up to talk about when she finds Buffy packing. Would this have been a healthier heart to heart?
• They're both so hurt. I'm glad they're finally talking about what's actually going on, and I'm really mad that this all gets cut off for the zombiness, because this conversation is never really resolved. And I'm glad Willow told us some of the stuff that's been going on with her, and why she's maybe been distant with Buffy, but STILL NO ONE is really asking why Buffy left, how the fight ended, what she did when she left, why she came back. THESE ARE IMPORTANT QUESTIONS and if they're all so (somewhat justifiably) resentful of her leaving, wouldn't they maybe want to know the reason why? "look what it did to us, never mind what it did to you" They're not seeing Buffy. They're not hearing her.
• Lucky for us the zombies in this universe are the slow-moving variety.
• Oh good. Joyce has joined the upset misunderstanding party.
• "You put me through the ringer, Buffy." Ringer!  Sorry. (Not sorry.)
• Oh and Buffy's so sad. "But you told me!"
• "Mom's not perfect, okay. I handled it badly."
• "It was selfish and stupid." Hmmm, Xander, can we think of other things we've done recently that were selfish and stupid? Like lying to our best friend?
• Hey Buffy, it's "Angel and me," not "Angel and I."
• I mean, I liked that Cordy stepped to Buffy's defense, but she's not handling it the most tactfully. [Tact is just not saying true stuff.  - Cordelia]
• See, I understand Joyce's arguments and Willow's arguments. Xander's not coming from a justified place. So I'm less forgiving of him. He's not letting Buffy talk.
• I DO like that the Mission comes first. As soon as the zombies break in, they all go into team mode. "I got your back," says Xander as he runs to the kitchen. All the scoobies join the defense.
• Jonathan's wielding the guitar and it's so cute.
• Oz said the episode title! 5 points to Oz!
• "Worse than a zombie." Cordy makes me laugh. She makes me forget how much I disliked her on Angel.
• Man, Buffy's house is getting traaaaaaaaaashed tonight. This is what happens when you throw a zombie hootenanny!
• I like when defeating the Zombie Overlord makes all the zombies disappear. Clean up is way easier.
• Okay I figured it out - the problems weren't resolved in dialogue (and they're CERTAINLY not fully resolved) - but they were at least partially resolved through demon battling. Just like in a musical (where problems/conflicts are often resolved in song). They still have stuff that they're not talking about, but the battle reminded them what (and who) is important, and worth fighting for.
• Giles, you are fucking creepy.
• Runaway. Quitter. Whiner. Bailer. Harpy. Delinquent. Tramp. Bad seed. Witch. Freak. LOVE IT.
• Daniel and I are so ashamed. We were talking about the return of our recurrings (Larry last week, this week Snyder, Jonathan, and Devon). We noticed the lack of Harmony and Amy, which led to a discussion of which episodes Amy was in, which led to the realization that NEITHER OF US had really processed until JUST NOW that Bewitched Bothered & Bewildered had the word "witch" it in.

Daniel's Thoughts:

• “Will you be slaying?”  Such a cute awkward mom question about something she doesn’t understand but wants to try to understand.  It’s like the time my friend told me his mom awkwardly asked him once how two gay men do it.    True Story.
• I gotta admit, Nicholas Brandon plays Xander’s reaction to seeing Buffy for the first time really well.
• And Buffy hilariously watching the gang try to fight.
• Cordelia’s “Hi Buffy!”  Hee!
• And Giles!  More reserved but…just as sweet.  He’s English.  He can’t show his emotions until he goes to the other room and brews his tea.
• How’d you find her?   I pretty much remembered where she was.  Hee!
• Snyder!  So evil!
• Aww, Buffy would look cute in hotdog-on-a-stick hat.  She’d look better in a doublemeat palace hat! 
• Why would Joyce go to the Mayor to get her daughter back in school?  So that she can foreshadow him to death?
• New downtown set!
• Awww, Willow didn’t show up.
• Willow tried to call.  See, this wouldn’t happen if there were cell phones.
• Why would they bury the cat? Why not call animal control?
• Zombie cat!  That cat is obviously being pushed out of the hole by a prop man.
• Another Angel dream!  Because we’re not ready to bring him back but he’s still under contract.

Hi, I'm still under contract.

• “Superhero.  Is that the right term? I mean it's not offensive, is it?” – It’s another one of those awkward mom trying to understand questions. "Homosexual? Is that term still acceptable?"
• “I’m the dip” - Hee.
• Love the 'gathering, shindig & hootenanny' discussion
• And why are they deciding what type of party to have at Joyce’s house anyway.  Wasn’t she the one organizing this? In her house?  It’s kinda rude.
• I always forget what Devon looks like.  I always ask Zelda, “That’s Devon, right?”
• I guess Oz & Cordy invited the people because Willow & Xander don’t have friends.  OUCH. BURRRRN…
• Though, there are no Cordettes that we can see.
• Aww, Willow is uncomfortable…and so is Buffy and it’s just ALL SO AWKARD!
• Hey! Sunnydale police!
• I’m glad “Nighthawk” doesn’t become a thing.
• I hate party dude. “I heard it’s for some chick who got out of rehab.” Shut up.

Hi, I'm a zombie movie cliche

• Joyce’s conversation with Pat is just gross.  “I thought having Buffy home would make it better but in some ways, it’s almost worse.”  How the hell is it worse, Joyce?  Awkward, yes but worse?  That’s a horrible thing to say.  Worst. Mom. Ever. 
• IN EVERY ZOMBIE MOVIE, THERE IS ALWAYS A CHEERLEADER ZOMBIE. =====>
• And there’s one guy at that party that looks 45.
• OK, Party dude is back and he’s yelling at someone to do a shot. BUT IT’S SO OBVIOUS HE’S NOT TALKING TO SOMEONE.  BAD ACTOR.  I’m glad he SPOILERS. [Wait, he spoilers? Did we get that in our death count? - Z]
• The altercation between Willow & Buffy that finally comes about is so well written. I like when there’s an argument on TV or in a movie where I can see both sides.  It’s also really well acted.
• Buffy’s packing again.  Don’t forget your stuffed bird.
• Ok, this whole ganging up on Buffy is not cool.  While some of the arguments are valid, it’s a shitty way to do it.  It reminds me of a future episode which is so hated for that very reason.
• Jonathan!  By the dip!

Who, me?

• Go Badass Giles!  Hot wire that car!
• “You stop acting like an idiot. And I’ll stop annoying you.”  Don’t make promises you can’t keep, Xander.
• YAY! Party dude got his just desserts!
• I like unlikely pairings!  Oz and Cordelia fighting together!
• How come all the zombies are this whitish/greenish color except for Pat? And it has nothing to do with the fact that she just died because the first body we see rising was from a gun shot wound that just happened.
• Buffy’s awfully cavalier about killing her mom’s friend.  Ok, Pat is a zombie – but she could have a little tact.
• So it’s nice that everyone is all friends now but nothing was really resolved…
• And another example of Giles’ badassery – intimidating Snyder.
• I like the new set with the coffee shop.  They can’t always hang out at The Bronze.
• I love the exchange of fun insults at the end.  It’s a cute way to end the episode.

Crossfire!

Question for everyone: Does the zombie cat count as a dead undead? We haven't been tracking dead animals before.

Favorite Lines:

Zelda: "'Do you like my mask, isn't it pretty? It raises the dead.' Americans." - Giles

Daniel: "It’s angry at the room, mom.  It wants the room to suffer.” - Buffy

90s Factoid:

Willow called.  This kind of thing wouldn't happen if you got those new fangled inventions called "cell phones"

Arc/Continuity Stuff:

• Snyder still hates Buffy.
• Joyce namedrops the Mayor.
• Our first zombie episode. This kind of zombie is corpses being raised by the mask, rather than infecting each other by biting.
• Also, cats can be zombies. 
• Devon and the rest of Dingoes Ate My Baby are here, and they're playing their only song, Pain.
• Willow mentions that she's still studying witchcraft.
• We forgot Jonathan was here! Him by the dip!
• Giles uses his DARK PAST to hotwire his car. Also to intimidate Snyder into letting Buffy back in school.
• Snyder has appointments with the Mayor.
• New Downtown Sunnydale set, including the Espresso Pump.

Stats:

Oz's Hair - red

Dead Humans - 4

Dead Undeads - 2

Dead Flashbacks - 0

Giles Unconscious - 0

Giles Cleans His Glasses - 0

Buffy Breaks a Door - 0

Evil Reveal - 1 (the mask)

Unevil Reveal - 0

Shenanigans Called - 0

Apocalypse Called - 0

I'm Buffy, the Vampire Slayer, and you are?

Episode 3.1: Anne. Original Airdate 9.29.98

"Buffy - living on her own in a big city - assists a girl whose boyfriend has mysteriously vanished. Back in Sunnydale, Buffy's friends do their best to battle the forces of evil."

Daniel's Thoughts:

• I’m so excited because this is my favorite season opener.
• I'm glad the season starts with the classic vamp coming out of the grave but…
• It’s Willow waiting for him and not Buffy!
• I love the huge dramatic moment of Oz about to throw the stake that will kill the vampire, complete with swelling music and then...it just kinda falls down.  Cause he's not Buffy!  And that never works if you're not Buffy!
• “Come and get it, big boy?”  HAHAH
• Did Willow really not know Oz’s plans after HS? I mean is she really the type to date a total slacker?
• The dream is sweet…and a way to keep David Boreanaz on contract.
• The dream turning into the harsh reality – it’s a nice transition.
• YAY! Oz is in the credits!
• Buffy is a waitress!  And she’s serving Burt Reynolds!

Burt Reynolds Catchphrase.

• Hey Chanterelle!  I think it’s cute and interesting that they brought such a minor character back. But it works so well.
• "We have a peach pie. I can’t guarantee there’s a peach in it." heh.
• I didn’t think I’d like two separate stories where Buffy isn’t in scenes with anyone else, but it really works here.
• Oh my God! There are students in the library!  Is it because it's the first day of school?  Because we just got our books in class. [YOU SEE WHAT HAPPENS WHEN BUFFY LEAVES TOWN, PEOPLE? CHAOS REIGNS. - Z]
• “Don’t get killed” is a nice mission statement.
• Cordelia’s phrase “organized fun” is something I’ve used before.
• I love Cordy & Xander’s nervousness.
• While I still find it weird that Willow didn’t realize Oz didn’t go to summer school, I’m glad she’s disappointed in him.
• LARRY!  And his line about not having so many mysterious deaths is freaking hilarious.
• It also shows that the students of Sunnydale aren’t as in the dark as they sometimes seem.  Which is proven further down the line in The Prom.
• Awww Buffy is so sad and alone!  She needs to start punning.  That will make her feel better.

What rhymes with Spaghettios?

• I like that Giles is at least searching for Buffy and not blindly waiting for her to return.
• Chanterelle/Lily is so adorable. She's a really interesting character. She just wants to find somewhere to fit in.
• Hehe, and it’s cute that she didn’t know that “Chanterelle” is a type of mushroom.
• I wonder what her real name is. Beverly?  I bet it’s Beverly.
• Ken is fucking creepy!  And twice in the Whedon-universe, he plays someone who looks human but ends up being a demon.
• Is it depressing song night at the Bronze? Actually the lyrics are uplifting but – OMG, Xander just said the same thing.  Did I remember that or was it my own thought?  THE MIND BOGGLES.
• I love Oz being thrown in the mix.  He’s hilarious.
• Aww, Joyce is actually being a good concerned mom.  This will not last.

Maybe it's a bezoar.

• While I don’t think Joyce should blame Giles, I do understand feeling the way she does – being left out of a major part of Buffy’s life.
• “And they give cookies!”  That’s such a bone-headed thing that…I would say.
• So the stuffed bird….did Buffy pack that bird?  Now, remember from my last recap, she left with a tiny tiny duffel bag – which I assume was filled with essentials.  Was there really room for that bird? And if she was going to choose one stuffed animal, wouldn't it be Mr. Gordo?  Ok, maybe she bought it here in LA.  Maybe it reminds her on Mr. Gordo.  Maybe I’m writing too much about a tiny prop.
• And there’s creepy Ken going in for the kill.  He knows his prey, I’ll give him that.
• I love how Buffy casually tears the phone out of the wall.
• She’s bad at undercover but she’s really good at interrogation.
• Yeah, right, like Cordelia would do anything for Buffy’s sake.
• And Xander does his first douchey thing of the season, using Cordelia as bait and actually saying the plan is for her to get killed.  I just...don't think that's something you should joke about, especially living on a hellmouth.
• Wow.  The black pool.  Terrible visual effect. [I ... kinda liked it? = Z]
• Ooh, it’s like Indiana Jones and the temple of Doom!
• What exactly are the slaves doing/making?
• Cheesy romantic music when Xander and Cordelia kiss.  I love it.
• I like the skeletor make-up
• Who are you? I’M BUFFY, THE VAMPIRE SLAYER  AND YOU ARE?  FUCK YEAH!
• Buffy runs like a kid, flailing her arms all over the place
• I love the mini-scythe weapon!  So well-designed!

Communism never stood a chance against the Slayer.

• So it feels like they’ve saved only like ten people out of the 100 slaves that are there.  That’s a shame.
• Lily shoved Ken!  And was so surprised that she did it!  She’s so cute!
• Lily is now Anne!  And we’ll see her grow up on Angel.
• Kristine Sutherland is really great in this final scene.  Her annoyance that someone is knocking at her door while she’s busy, then turning into hope that it might be Buffy...
• And then...no...that's not a tear.  Hush.

Zelda's Thoughts:

• Nice return to basics, starting in a graveyard with a vampire rising. But oh! It's Willow, with new hair, waiting for him.
• Kung fu vampire!
• Xander's looking pretty attractive in this graveyard light. Don't tell Daniel I said that.
• "Do you think Buffy knows school's starting tomorrow?" All the sad hopeful Willow faces.
• Angel's hands are so much bigger than Buffy's hands.
• "If I was blind, I would see you." I will allow the pulpy talk because it's Buffy's heartbroken dream.
• Buffy wears a lot of jewelry when she sleeps. Is that a thing people do? I feel like I wouldn't. If I actually wore jewelry with any kind of regularity.
• Location! Not just a cop car, but a street with actual aging and damage and cement repatchings rather than smooth paving. The things I notice.
• Buffy's pigtails and red trimming on her outfit are actually reminding me of her Little Red costume in S4.

• Hi Lily! What's the point of getting a forever tattoo if you change your name every five minutes?
• "But then again he's always been attracted to monsters." Cordy's already having her prophecies! Spoilers?
• Oz, you're so cute. "That's what summer school is for." // "Yeah. Well, you remember when I didn't go?"
• "Summer is over! Be somber." Ummmmm ...

who the hell are you?

• I'd say nice contrivance, keeping Oz in high school another year to keep him on the show, but I actually completely believe it's in character for him to just not bother with school.
• Nice long tracking shot as we reenter Sunnydale High, Joss. Don't think we didn't notice or appreciate.
• AWWW. We cut from bustling Sunnydale High to Buffy sitting alone and silent. ALL THE SAD THINGS.
• "I'm no one." Our first clue!
• Aw Giles. Running off to Oakland to hunt down Buffy ALL THE SAD THINGS.
• "Yes, one must try." It's that British stiff-upper-lip belief-in-good-things that makes me love Giles. And that makes him save us all in The Wish.
• "I'm no one." Second clue!

Veeeeeeeeeeery familiar.

• Holy crap Buffy gets all kind of flipped from that car. It's cool though - it shows Buffy's ingrained need to protect All the Humans isn't entirely dead.
• Hi Ken! You're a creepy ass dude. At least as far as Joss Whedon shows are concerned.
• "You get old fast here." You ain't just whistling Dixie, Ken.
• My sister's standard response when Carlos Jacott appears on any show: "He's evil! And that's not his real face." She's not wrong.
• Hey guys, ... wasn't this shot used to open Angel the Show? ==>
• "I blame you." It's sad because Giles is already most certainly blaming himself too, and I think Joyce is rationally incorrect to say that, but I also understand where she's coming from. Her daughter has left, and it's because of things she didn't know about but Giles did, and as a responsible adult, he didn't see fit to tell her. She's supposed to be the one taking care of her daughter, and she's been taken out of the equation.
• Julia Lee is lucky she's likable, because she's playing full victim on Buffy, and it's not an attractive look on anyone. "I'm helpless! I have nothing of merit to offer but my helplessness! Help me?" Then again, she is responding to Buffy's hero complex thing, which she saw evidence of in Lie to Me, and again the night before with the man in front of the car.
• Oh god and she even says "But ... he takes care of me."
• Smart Buffy cottoning on to the connection between donating blood and the people disappearing/aging.
• "Is it ... cuz of you? You know about monsters and stuff. You could have brought this with you." Um, fuck you, Chanterlily.
• And Ken walks into frame like a creepy pedo.
• "Hope is a real thing, just like despair. And hope can fill a part of you that's missing."

That's what ... she said?

• First Giles cleans his glasses, then Buffy breaks a door. We're getting alllllllllll the stats this week!
• "Breaking into your office and going through your private files." I love you Buffy. And then she pulled the phone out of the wall. I double love you Buffy.
• Oh Buffy she is pissed.
• "The cleansing." Ken be creepy. But Lily, she's done several cults, so she knows all about that sort of thing.
• Parking lot graveyard! (do a shot)
• Oz's stake is taller than Oz.
• "Why can't Willow be bait?" Oh look, Willow is bait because you two are bickering.
• "I woke up and I looked in the mirror and I thought, hey, what's with all the sin? I need to change. I'm ...I'm dirty. I'm bad with the ... sex and the envy and that, that loud music us kids listen to nowadays. W - okay, I just suck at undercover. Where's Ken?" We're giggling.
• I love that Buffy doesn't hesitate to go diving after Lily. That's our Buffy!
• Ewwwwwwwwwwwww Ken's demon face is all gooey.
• Aaaaaaand Xander and Cordy are making out. With the rising music and the rising music.
• "I always knew I would come here, sooner or later. I knew I belonged here. [Where?] Hell."
• A good clue that Buffy won't let herself become no one like everyone else is - she's not wearing the burlap sack uniform.
• This demon's makeup is so badass.

• Here's why Buffy's awesome. She's not just saving them. She's helping Lily empower herself, so she can take care of herself in the future. Buffy is a much better role model than anyone else ever.
• Apparently there are some discontinuities, when Buffy's breaking out, of shoes between her and the stunt Buffy. I'm not gonna bother to track it, but they're there.
• "Humans don't fight back! That's how this works!" Go 'way, Ken. Your outrage is funny, but go 'way.
• This fight is pretty awesome.
• "You've got guts. I think I'd like to slice you open and play with them." Eh. Kinda weak smack talk.
• "This is the price of rebelli--aaaaaaaaaaaaaaah" haaaaaaaaaaa
• See Willow? This is how you smack talk a demon before you kill him: Gandhi.
• Buffy's "crappy" apartment is pretty clean. And she lives alone. It's not bad.
• "Can I be Anne?" d'aw. because she wants to be strong and self sufficient like Buffy.
• Joyce has that look of hope and trying not to let herself hope, and she opens the door, and Buffy's on the other side, and waaaaaaaaaaaaah. Joyce's face. Buffy's face. I'm crying. THE FEELS.

Crossfire!

D:  Who is that guy?

Z: (looks it up) Chad Todhunter. (keeps looking - he hasn't really done stuff we know)

D: He looks like someone who's working now.

Z: Sebastian Stan?

D: No, someone who does movies now.

Z: He was in Captain America!

D: No, that guy who was in Hurt Locker and that one episode of Angel.

Z: My boyfriend Jeremy Renner?

D: Yes, he looks like Jeremy Renner.

Z: NO HE DOESN'T.

You be the judge.

Favorite Lines:

Daniel: Buffy: You wanna see my impression of Gandhi? *smashes Ken's face in*

Lily: Gandhi?
Buffy:  Well ya know – if he was really pissed off.
THAT’S MY FAVORITE THING EVER!

Zelda: "If we can focus, keep discipline, and not have quite as many mysterious deaths, Sunnydale is gonna rule!" - Larry. Poor, sweet, dead Larry.

90s Factoid:

Cordy's sweater tied round her waist.

Arc/Continuity Stuff:

• Last season, Buffy killed Angel. She left town without telling anyone, leaving a note for Joyce. She also got expelled, but I mean, does that really make a difference right now?
• Seth Green is now in the opening credits. Though he's been sent to Hell, David Boreanaz is still there, too.
• Chanterelle from Lie to Me is back, but now her name is Lily. Next her name will be Anne.
• Oz is repeating his senior year. 
• Larry's still here.
• Buffy's middle name is Anne.
• Ken's other roles in Joss Whedon projects: Ken on BtVS, Richard on AtS, Dobson on Firefly.

Stats:

Oz's Hair - light red

Dead Humans - 1

Dead Undeads - 3

Dead Flashbacks - 0

Giles Unconscious - 0

Giles Cleans His Glasses - 1

Buffy Breaks a Door - 1

Evil Reveal - 2 (Ken, Blood Bank Doctor - yes, that's her name)

Unevil Reveal - 0

Shenanigans Called - 0

Apocalypse Called - 0