Evil Lint

Episode 6.5: Life Serial. Original Airdate 10.23.01

"The Geek Trio begin their plans by testing Buffy's abilities and subsequently ruining her attempts at employment."

Daniel's Thoughts:

• I gotta go on record and say I don’t love this episode.
• Well at least Willow & Tara contribute by making food.
• "I’m a breast girl myself."  Yay, awkward lesbian humor.
• Oh yeah, Angel and Buffy saw each other…except we don’t get to see it because different networks now.
• Giles: What are you going to do with your life?  Great dinner conversation, Giles.
• Ugh.  A trio episode.
• I still don’t understand why Jonathan wants to destroy Buffy.  She’s helped him so many times.  Is he that desperate for friends?  Like, none of the shenanigans he got up to was really about destroying the town or being a supervillain like those other two.
• "Introduction to Pies." I think that was a Community episode.
• Ok, so the first nerd’s plan.  The button that makes Buffy slow? Or everyone else fast? Is that what it does? It’s never fully clear.  Does it speed up time?
• Ok, so this first part, it looked to Tara like she was just standing there looking at the book.  But what about everyone else? Once Tara went to class.  Did everyone think she was a statue?  And then after class, Tara was standing there talking to her.  Did she just walk away when  Buffy was standing there?  And then everyone is going so fast that they bumped into her and she fell.  Did they not see her? Was she invisible?  This entire plan gets a huge SHENANIGAN.  It makes absolutely no sense.  Just physically, it makes absolutely no sense. We never see the other perspective so we never know what’s actually happening.
• Buffy: “Retail?  I’d rather be dead. Again.”  Aww, she still has her sense of humor.
• Tony and the Construction Boys don’t want a giiiirrrrll on their team.
• Trio plan #2:   This one works more because with the misogyny of the average male.
• BUFFY’S STRONG, BITCHES.

• I love that Buffy is chatting, though, like she’s with her friends.
• Yes, they’re nerds so they like Star Trek.  We get it.  And they treat each other like the members of Big Bang Theory, another nerd crew who talk down to each other and treat each other like shit.
• I like the demon with what looks like pigtails.  I wonder what they do...
• And it really sucks that none of these construction guys can admit that Buffy saved their lives.  But yeah, that’s the whole point of this act.  GIRLS CAN’T BE STRONG AND ON OUR TEAM.
• Those are huge binoculars.
• I love the Star Wars honk.  There’s a garage in my neighborhood with a car that plays the Godfather theme.
• Why is Xander being such an asshole? [Because he’s Xander. - Everyone]  What was Buffy supposed to do?  Not save their lives?
• “That time of the month, huh?”  ugh.  Fuck, man.
• Why is Xander firing her?  This is seriously an awesome job for Buffy.
• OK, plan #3 is the worst…we’ll get to it.
• Clue #1 that Andrew is gay: internalized homophobia.
• Also, “Stop touching my magic bone!”  heh.
• The nerd stuff is so put on sometimes.
• Here we go, #3.
• “That woman! Go sell her something.” Anya is encouraging!
• Ancient Mummy hand….This isn’t Warehouse 13. 
• She’s looping.  So, time isn’t looping.  She’s just looping? Or everyone in the magic box is looping? Are they resetting?  I mean…after this all ends, will it be the same time inside and out?  Is she just in a simulation? Are Anya & Giles real?  They have no memory of the looping.  Are they just simulations and Buffy's not at the Magic Box at all?  Nothing is ever explained. Also, physics.  SHENANIGANS.
• Yes, it’s really funny.  But it makes no sense.
• “Picture yourself naked.”
• Also, why doesn’t she ask for help?  Why doesn’t she just ask Giles?  About the time thing OR she can just ask him how to handle the hand?  He must know.  Or Anya must know. They run the shop! 
• And now she confides in Spike.  Why?  Ugh.  Stop.
• And now, resorting to drinking… Not a smart move.  Though it makes an excellent gif

• Stop drinking if you don’t like the alcohol taste, Buff!
• First appearance of Clem!  Yay!
• “I need a moment with my lady.” Ew.
• Connery/Moore argument.  Big in my family. 
• Andrew, “I like Timothy Dalton”.  Only time I’m gonna agree with Andrew. Dalton was an underrated Bond.  He was the dark Bond.
• Buffy saved the kittens!
• For nerds who can manipulate time, they sure are lame with the theatrics.
• Ok, laughs aside – and there are a lot of them – this whole episode is lame.  Just because it’s a sci fi  fantasy show, doesn’t mean it can just dump on all of its premade rules.  A sci fi show is better for having those rules and not breaking them.  You just can’t throw physics in the wind for the sake of comedy.  It just doesn’t make sense with or without the concept of the show.
• And besides, if the trio are so powerful that they can manipulate time, why don’t they ever use it again?   It’s probably the most valuable thing they can do.  Much more than those stupid jet packs they get later.  Hell why do they even need jet packs? By this episodes logic, they can create something to make them fly.  Or make them appear to fly.  Or appear to loop to fly?

Zelda's Thoughts:

• I can't waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaait for the Mummy Hand. And Clem. Even if this is basically Proto-Clem and we get the real Clem later.
• Oh right, Buffy just saw Angel.
• Buffy's hair is so pretty.
• I wonder if Buffy told Angel she was in Heaven. I kind of assume she did. She wouldn't feel the need to perform happiness for Angel like she does for the Scoobies. He's all about the brood.
• Umm this auditing thing Willow and Tara suggest, Buffy just crashing classes at UC SunnyD without registering - is that a thing you can do? You couldn't do that at NYU. Not in a room that small, anyway.
• You know, I really enjoyed the Trio on my first few watches of the series. But now ... I just. I hate Warren so much. Adam Busch is great at playing him, but I fucking hate him and his misogyny and awfulness and it's hard to find them as funny.
• I do still love Danny Strong and always will. Our award-winning Jonathan.
• "This is gonna be great." Ah yes, Buffy's opener for each act this ep.
• Hey did you guys know Douglas Petrie worked on Clarissa Explains It All? True story. I may or may not have just finished a marathon on Hulu. Also true story. I ... don't know why I brought that up.
• Warren  waving at the camera tho is kind of cute. You could almost write him off as a stupid kid if he weren't a raging douchebaguette.
• I'm glad Tara's confidence grew enough that the stuttering went away.
• "What the f-" Aw Buffy and your almost swearing.
• Buffy's cardigan has an 8, in this season's ongoing obsession with numbers.
• So ... did Tara just like ... walk away from frozen Buffy? wtf? There's some kind of shenanigan to call here. (Daniel already covered this)
• I do like the metaphor of this particular prank from the Trio - Buffy feels completely overwhelmed by the class she actually attends, which turns into the metaphor of everyone zooming around her and she can never, ever catch up.
• The Trio do have great chemistry. Still three bags of dick on a stick.
• Buffy looks super cute in her pigtails and hard hat.
• "I'd rather be dead. Again." Buffy's spirits seem to be more optimistic this ep - or they start that way. She's quippy and taking action to improve her life (negotiating bill pay, trying to pick a direction, school slash work)
• YEAH BUFFY YOU CARRY THAT BEAM. STRONG BUFFY.
• *sigh* "We get paid by the hour. You wanna ruin it for the rest of us? Slow down." I hate the mentality that quashes ambitions toward efficiency and skill. Buffy is being punished for her abilities, and this is all kinds of not right.
• HEY HERE'S A REVOLUTIONARY IDEA HOW ABOUT THE COUNCIL PAY BUFFY.
• Aw man, I'm sad for Buffy. I feel like this could have been a good-ish use of her skills, at least to hold her over til she picks a career. And the fucking Trio bollixed it up for her.
• Whereas everyone knows Buffy would suck at retail. And indeed does suck at retail. I can't believe she ends up working at the shitteous Doublemeat Palace. There've got to be better options.
• Man, FUCK this noise. "That time of the month, huh." Your stereotype as a sexist construction worker is showing, Marco.
• I'm glad Xander agrees she's being targeted with the last two adventures, and isn't trying to write off her instincts like the Scoobies sometimes do.
• The Magic Box is next to a shop called Book Stew! I wanna go to the Book Stew shop!
• It's time for the Mummy Hand sequence! I'm so excited.
• "I can illustrate with an amusing story about a crystal." Anya is delightful.
• "Why is the Slayer here, anyway? She's a student, she's a construction worker, and now she's some kind of .. selling stuff person?" // "It's like she's completely without focus." I SEE YOUR META. But it's also cute how confused the Trio is.
• Aaaaaaaaaaand homophobia.
• Next time don't burn stuff inside a van maybe.
• Oh man, Giles is gonna clean his glasses SO MANY TIMES. I am excite.
• I'm horrified that the Candle Customer thinks Essence of Slug is a seductive candle. I'm also horrified they sell a candle like that.
• The Mummy Hand Customer has no sense of humor.
• So ... no one else is aware of the Groundhog Day-ness of this sequence. But the Trio is as aware as Buffy. How/why? Is the looping limited to the confines of The Magic Box, or is the van also somehow protected, as the source of the spell? Imma go with limited to confines of the shop and move on.
• "Yes, and then I'm going to marry Bob Dole and raise penguins in Guam."
• THIS MUMMY HAND HAS CEASED TO BE. IT IS AN EX-MUMMY HAND.

Also, behold Giles cleaning his glasses FOREVER in the background.

• And then Buffy breaks Giles's glasses and I laugh forever.
• And - physics aside - one again the metaphor is great. The dull repetitive drudgery of retail, the utter impossibility of satisfied customers, the feeling that the day will never end.
• Spike! It's Spike. (sorrynotsorry)
• Aw Buffy. Getting drunk is not a lifestyle choice. Well, not a good one. Well, not a career one. But it's really too bad. She started the ep looking like things might be okay, like she's working through the depression, and she can be an adult and go around adulting everywhere. And the Trio sucked all that away from her. And so she drinks with Spike.
• Although Buffy attempting to drink whiskey is adorable.

Spike agrees.

• Spike's hair is all mussed and adorable but drop the "creature of the darkness" scenario. It's wrong.
• Clem! It's Clem.
• Kitten currency is rather absurd. It's cute as a gimmick, but why the hell do they bring it back in Tabula Rasa. Stupid.
• Also cats are evil. I wrote an essay proving it.
• "You're insane. You're short and you're insane." My sister and I used to use this one a lot.
• Clem's meaner in this ep. I'm glad they turn him into a snack-eating teddy bear later. I love Clem. Season Six from Clem's perspective would be delightful.
• Buffy agrees with me! Kittens are stupid currency.
• Aw Buffy. "You were gonna help me! You were gonna beat heads and fix my life! But you're completely lame! Tonight sucks! And look at me! Look at, look at stupid Buffy! Too dumb for college, and freak Buffy, too strong for construction work, and my job at the magic shop? I was bored to tears even before the hour that wouldn't end! And the only person I can even stand to be around is a ... neutered vampire who cheats at kitten poker. Also? I think you're drunk." I feel for her. This has not been her week, even if I've been laughing a lot this ep.
• Wtf are those lacy wings on this demon?

They just ... they seem rather flimsy for a demon of his girth.

• Wow that exit was community theater levels of bad. JonaDemon is lucky Buffy and Spike are so drunk.
• "Yeah, it was sexy the way she touched me real hard with her fists."
• "I'm really screwing up, Giles." Buffy needs a hug, you guys. Group hug for Buffy!
• GILES IS THE BEST. He gave Buffy money. Bless you, Giles. Now let's get the Council on giving Buffy a salary, mmmm?
• "In this scenario, I am your mother?" NO, GILES, YOU ARE HER FATHER AND EVERYONE KNOWS IT. DADDY GILES.
• NO, BUFFY, GILES WON'T ALWAYS BE THERE. DIDN'T YOU NOTICE HE'S ONLY A GUEST STAR NOW. HE'S JUST WAITING TO BREAK OUR HEARTS AGAIN.

Favorite Lines:

Daniel: "What the f--" *camera cuts away* - Buffy

Zelda: "Timothy Dalton should get an Oscar and beat Sean Connery over the head with it!" - Andrew

Arc/Continuity Stuff:

• First appearance: Clem. Also the concept of kittens as currency.
• Recurring: Tara, Giles, the Trio
• Buffy and Angel reunited off-screen, in a place between UPN and WB.

Stats:

Anya's Hair - honey-blonde, chunky curls, with random weird braids

Dead Humans - 0

Dead Undeads - 3

Dead Flashbacks - 0

Giles Unconscious - 0

Giles Cleans His Glasses - 6 (YEAH MUMMY HAND)

Buffy Breaks a Door - 0

Buffy Breaks a Construction Site - 1

Buffy Breaks Giles's Glasses - 1

Buffy Breaks a Bell - 1

Evil Reveal - 0

Unevil Reveal - 0

Shenanigans Called - 2

Apocalypse Called - 0