PLEASE NOTE: THIS IS A SPOILER-RICH ZONE. If your diet requires you to dine on television spoiler-free ... good luck with that.


Tuesday, March 21, 2017

A Bidet of Evil

Episode 7.14: First Date. Original Airdate 2.11.03

"Buffy accepts an invitation to dinner from Principal Wood, and the secrets of his past are revealed. Xander impresses a beautiful girl with his knowledge of knots, and she seems to be interested in tying him up. Meanwhile the First contacts Andrew in another attempt to destroy the Potentials, and Giles finds himself tongue-tied with the new Potential, Chao-Ahn [because racism is hilarious]."

Zelda's Thoughts: 

  • Oh good, we've started the Giles talking loudly at Chao-Ahn, aren't language barriers hilarious hahaha racism
  • Giles calling Spike a berk, however, is always delightful.
  • "You think I'm losing sight of the big picture, but I'm not. When Spike had that chip, it was like having him in a muzzle. It was wrong. You can't beat evil by doing evil. I know that." Yeah, fuck you Giles.
  • Oh look Ashanti stuntcasting. blah
  • DB Woodside, so good, so mysterious, so charming
  • whaaaaaat he's got a bloody knife whaaaaaaaat
  • "I'm gonna wait for that sentence to come around again before I jump on."
  • "Guys, guess what happened!" // "Buffy got a date!" // "No, *I* did!"
  • I will say the banter is pretty good this episode. Y'know except for the Chao-Ahn hahaha she doesn't speak English hahaha (seriously fuck this "running gag") "She's grateful to be in the land of plenty." fuuuuuuuuuuuuck yoooooooooou and your imperialism.
  • Danny Strong is awesome as The First. I'm glad he's back.
  • "Confidentially, a lot of her people are murderers. Anya and Willow and Spike." And Giles. And Xander. Basically only Dawn isn't. Wait, does Miss Kitty Fantastico's demise count as murder?
  • Buffy being all blushy and smiley with Wood is really kind of adorable.
  • At least the show acknowledges what a bad counselor Buffy is.
  • Gasp! Wood's mother was a Slayer.
  • It's such an interesting revelation for Buffy - not just Wood as a potential romantic partner, but that having a child is not unprecedent in the Slayer line - another aspect of that "normal life" she used to long for, could actually be an option if she wants it.
  • "Say, do you have any weaknesses I should know about?" Andrew is not a good spy.
  • This episode really hammers in how impotent ["Flaccid?" - Buffy] The First is at accomplishing anything. Relying on Andrew? Really? No wonder they brought in Nathan Fillion. This realization hit the writers too late in the season.
  • Ashanti is not good at this whole speaking lines thing.
  • okayyyy so. I think this is just a small error, but Wood saying "he's a vampire" with surprise in his voice when Spike vamps out - in the earlier scene in the car, it looks like he's looking in his rearview mirror to where Spike should be - Spike who has no reflection. So ... he should already know that. oops. (shenanigans)
I'm not wrong, right? He's looking at Spike.

  • Even Wood is noticing how Spuffy season seven is.
  • Xander: "So how's your date going?" // Buffy: *looks at Wood* // Wood: *looks at Spike* //Spike:

  • Oh good one last hahahalanguagebarrierhahaha
  • So is Clem canonically gay?
  • "quips about orientation"
  • spuffysceeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeene. "'Cause I'm not ready for you to not be here."
my shipppppppppppppppppp

  • "Did I raise you that way?" // "You didn't raise me at all." // "Well, I was dead." this scene is just marvelous
  • so they did recast Nikki but apparently they only hired a stunt actor to play her in "Fool For Love," and they cast an actor-actor to play her here.

Daniel's Thoughts:

  • Nice catch, Giles!  He’s got expert reflexes.
  • Yes, Giles – speak louder – Chao-Ahn will be able to understand English then.
  • SHENANIGANS.  When exactly would Anya tell Spike that Giles may be the First?  He and Buffy were gone when they were talking about it and they solved the problem by the time Spike  & Buffy got back.
  • See Chao-Ahn not understanding anything anyone is saying is played for laughs….except how incredibly scary for her.  To be in this strange situation with vampires etc, and still not knowing anything that’s going on. 
  • Oh man, guest starring the worst guest star ever: Ashanti.
  • Giles’ fears about Spike are so valid but who cares? He's only been your mentor for 6ish years.
  • Oh man, DB Woodside is so good at comedy.  I’m pretty sure I’ve said that before and I’ll say it again: DB Woodside is so good at comedy.
  • See, Even Willow knows Buffy is bad at her (school) job.
  • “A bidet of evil”
  • I enjoy Willow/Buffy/Xander just chatting and joking.  It’s nice.
  • Hey Danny Strong.  I just saw him in an episode of Girls , which – I really wish I hadn’t because he was one of those straight guys who play gay by being overly flamboyant and effeminate when Danny Strong is effeminate enough already.  Anyway.  End of sidebar.
  • Oh there, she is.  20 minute later.
  • I like Anya’s cute mid-driffy sweater.

  • “Hardware-store whore” – aww, Anya.  She really needs a date.
  • Man this alley set is such a set. 
  • Wow, Wood’s a pretty good fighter.
  • Really?  Can we not bring up Xander leaving Anya at the altar only to justify and excuse his behavior?  Fuck off, Ashanti & Xander & writers.
  • That’s the 2nd time this episode that someone laughs at Buffy about being a counselor.
  • It’s really cool to find out history of another slayer and to find out that she had a child which Buffy thought would never be possible for her.
  • Nice detective work, Andrew.  But it’s kinda cool that he went to the scoobies right away about the first visiting him.
  • Good make-up on dead Jonathan-first
  • Omg, she’s so bad (ashanti)
  • Aww, Anya still cares about Xander.  I mean, we knew that.  But I had so much hope back in the day.
  • “There isn’t time for… quips about orientation.” Ugh. I want to laugh about that….if everything I didn’t see in the 90s/00s were just jokes about being gay.
  • Wood’s got a nice apartment. It kinda reminds me of Angel’s apartment in that show he’s in about himself.  I think it’s called “That Vampire with the goofy hair: The series”
  • Nice reveal about Spike/Wood’s slayer mom.

Favorite Lines:
Z: "Guys, guess what happened!" // "Buffy got a date!" // "No, *I* did!" - Xander/Willow
D: "Fine, go. Leave me here to stew in my impotent rage." *Buffy stops, turns to look at Anya* "I'm also gonna pee,  so you should probably go." -Anya

Arc/Continuity Stuff:
First appearance: Chao-Ahn
Recurring: Giles, Robson, Kennedy, Amanda, Principal Wood, The First (as Jonathan Levinson and Nikki Wood), Espresso Pump, Giles's terrible artistic skills, Seal of Danzalthar, Xander as a demon magnet
In "Potential," Andrew wanted a new microwave and now he's got one! (Also, this is the same microwave that got destroyed in "Conversations With Dead People")
The shirt Anya's cleaning - "it might be pizza" - is the one Dawn spilled on during "Conversations With Dead People"

Anya's Hair - curly, dark blonde
Dead Humans - 0
Dead Undeads - 7
Dead Potential - 0
Dead Flashbacks - 0
Giles Unconscious - 0
Giles Cleans His Glasses - 1
Buffy Breaks a Door - 0
Evil Reveal - 1 (LissAshanti)
Unevil Reveal - 1 (Principal Wood)
Shenanigans Called - 2
Apocalypse Called - 0


  1. I haven't rewatched season 7 in years. I usually quit my rewatches with The Gift because I just can't with the last two seasons. For the 20th anniversary, I'm going to try to give the last two seasons another shot. At any rate, the one thing I do remember is that DB Woodside is awesome and Ashanti was terrible. Funny how those things stuck with me.

    I liked Buffy being a counselor but they did make her kind of terrible at it. I had high hopes of the show returning to its high school glory days at the beginning of this season but then those hopes were dashed as the season progressed and it became more and more dreary and terrible.

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