PLEASE NOTE: THIS IS A SPOILER-RICH ZONE. If your diet requires you to dine on television spoiler-free ... good luck with that.


Tuesday, January 9, 2018

Have We Learned Nothing from Carrie?

Episode 1.16: Betty and Veronica. Original Airdate 3.29.05

"Veronica is shocked when Van Clemmons hires her to track down the missing school mascot, Polly the Parrot, but is distracted by memories of her recent reunion with her mother. Meanwhile, Veronica digs deeper into the Lilly Kane case, using her new relationship to gain access to private information."

Zelda's Thoughts:

  • Daniel and I both made the same "ohhh" sound of recognition as we realized Veronica was tearing her room apart looking for where Clarence Wiedman bugged her. I mean, I am outraged about a man bugging the bedroom of a TEENAGE GIRL but also remember how Veronica bugged the private counselling sessions of all of her classmates related to Lilly's death?
  • oh hey Wallace is good at basketball! Slash the actor seems to not suck at it too.
  • He's come pretty far, from getting taped nekkid to the flagpole with no one but outcast Veronica for a friend, but now he's got friends and admirers.
  • No Logan this ep. Maybe he's still sleeping last episode's drunkeness off.
  • GASP VP Clemmons is asking Veronica to find out where the missing school mascot has gone to.
  • "I have noticed that you have certain skills." 

  • It's so adorable that V is bartering her fee for finding Polly, not in money, but in perks. I loves it.
  • Awwww Veronica's new locker is next to Wallace's. That's freaking adorable. Even more adorable when we find out later she's been baking boxes of snickerdoodles for Wallace.
  • heh, V goes undercover at Pan High and calls it the Un-Neptune.  "People here hate Neptune as much as I do."
  • aw she's already at the cool table
  • "And what school was that?" //"Riverdale." // "Never heard of it." Sorry CW

  • awww Veronica's thrilled little grin when even the Pan Highers are talking about how good Wallace is. IT'S SO CUTE. I like when their friendship feels like a friendship and not like a detective and her favor-doing sidekick

  • Man, it's pretty fucked up to pretend they slaughtered Billy the mascot and turned him into ground meat.
  • hahahahaha when Wilson tells "Betty" that he just walked onto Neptune's campus and pretended to be a student. "That's so brave. I can't believe that worked."
  • You know what? No. This is beyond absurd. I don't believe that this Rest Stop 15 has people macking, a car so full of pot smoke it looks like it's on fire, and guys selling boxes of electronics so big they don't even fit in the car, in one locale, all within spitting distance of each other. Shenanigans!
  • hehehehe Weevil's doubletake at the guy calling Veronica Betty. To his credit, he doesn't out her.
  • man, this is brutal. even Lianne doesn't know who Veronica's dad is, and it's eating at both of them.
  • Aw Leo brought Veronica the tapes wrapped as a gift. It's cool how Deputy Leo is super willing to break the law so he can date a MINOR. 
  • You know what Wallace is good at? Basketball. You know what he's not good at? Being sneaky about the fact that he's got Billy the mascot in a van.
  • By the time I graduated high school, our mascot was the Bruin. I ... don't think we had a live animal for the part. [We were the Tigers.  I never went to a football game, but I'm pretty sure we didn't have a tiger either. - D]
  • Duncan's been waaaaaay more animated the past four episodes. It's a nice change of pace from comatose and is a good nod to the fact that he's off his antidepressants. He's still not ... a particularly engaging performer, and I still don't ever feel like I'm seeing him thinking (unlike the Marses or Logan) behind the lines, but I'll take what I can get.
  • Awwww Wallace figured out that Veronica made his spirit boxes. FRIENDSHIP
  • "Can you do me a weird favor without asking any questions?" // "Isn't that the bedrock on which our friendship was founded?" Is it though? I thought it was based on that time she cut him down from the flagpole
  • wowwwwww  of all the gin joints, right? Veronica on her date with Leo, while Duncan is freaking introducing Meg to his parents. dayum.
  • so much Celeste Kane stink eye
  • "You eat eggs, you might as well eat baby." WOW. JUST WOW. not to #notallvegans but none of my vegan friends are self righteous lecturers like this girl is.
  • Aw I love Veronica walking in with both mascots, being greeted as both Veronica and Betty. It's not quite Buffy getting the Class Protector Award, but it's still adorable.
  • "You got Polly back?" // "I kinda rock."
  • Man, after all that, she doesn't even stay to watch? Oh haha nm she does stay to watch she just had to MAKE THE DECISION.
  • ugh I haaaaaaaate this. Veronica cashes out her entire college savings to pay for Lianne to go to rehab. "I want you to come home. I miss you." and then Lianne skips town. I hate it I hate it I hate it.
  • "Why would a person agree to confess to a murder he didn't commit?" // "Money, a lot of it."  ... "Wait dad you know what? I think I know who's collecting the money from Abel Koontz's confession." HAH she says it so Clarence Wiedman will give her her next clue - Amelia DeLongpre, Abel Koontz's daughter.
Daniel's Thoughts:

  • Veronica realized way before Z and I did why Clarence Wiedman found her mom at the same time that she did.  We both just went “ohh” at the same time as Veronica frantically searches her room for a bug.
  • Ok, well that explains how Veronica changed.  She went home and showered and she had to book a ticket.  I didn’t realize where “Barstow” was. I assumed it was a place in California that she could drive to.
  • Hey, they’re following up on Wallace’s HS basketball career and he’s actually pretty good for a shorty. And Veronica’s actually being a good friend going to watch him play.
  • That’s my problem?”  I love it.
  • I kinda love that vice principal Clemmons has finally wised up about Veronica – that she’s actually helpful and useful.
  • Veronica’s face, though, is amazing – when she realizes she’s not in trouble and he wants her help.
  • I’m glad it was revealed that Wallace is on the team, though, before it was contivingly retconned due to this episode’s plot.
  • I love that Veronica just crashes another school and goes to their cafeteria.
  • She’s Betty. Get it?  And her old school is Riverdale.  Geddit?
  • Aww, Veronica is delighted to hear strangers talking about her friend Wallace as being awesome.
  • Oooh.  At the time of the murder, Mommy Mars and Jake Kane were at a hotel together.
Smile #3,401

  • Don’t forget, Veronica, Daddy Mars is a detective.
  • “Oh hey, Betty.”  I don’t know why that cracks me up.
  • Pan high school?  I mean who are they named after?  Oh, is that a mythology joke? Neptune/Pan?  But also, is the town called Pan?
  • Veronica really enjoys girling it up to get what she wants.  It’s actually kinda awesome.
  • V helped Weezil out like once.  I love that he’s constantly repaying her since.
  • Ok, see that’s a friend. “But you think all this stuff is stupid.” “You don’t.”  It’s nice to see that level of friendship between Veronica and Wallace.
  • Meg’s meeting the Kane parents.   Awkwarddddd
  • And it’s ruining Veronica’s date with Leo.
  • “You eat eggs, you might as well eat baby.” Dude.
  • Poor Meg.  Veronica has reason to not want to be friends with Meg, even if it is unfair.
  • Abel Koontz has a daughter.  I figure Veronica could have figured this all out easily just by looking it up. 


*holds up a weirdass statue to crush Clarence Wiedman's bug*

D: What the hell is that?!

Favorite Lines:




Neptune Roll Call:
Wallace, Duncan, Weevil (Absent: Logan)
Recurring: Lianne Mars, Vice President Van Clemmons, Meg Manning, Deputy Leo D'Amato, Jake Kane, Celeste Kane, Clarence Wiedman.
Veronica's Alias: Betty


Dead Humans - 0
Dead Mascots - 0
Backup Sighting - 0
Veronica Breaks In - 0
Veronica Tases Someone - 0
Mac Hacks - 0
Who's Your Daddy? - 0
Wallace Does Veronica a Favor - 1
Leo Does Veronica a Favor - 1
Weevil Does Veronica a Favor - 1
Veronica Wants a Pony - 0
Logan Punches Someone - 0
Dick's Single Entendres - 0
Shenanigans Called - 1
VERONICA WAS WRONG - 1 (Weevil didn't steal the parrot)

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