PLEASE NOTE: THIS IS A SPOILER-RICH ZONE. If your diet requires you to dine on television spoiler-free ... good luck with that.


Tuesday, March 6, 2018

I've Got a Secret. A Good One.

Episode 1.22: Leave It to Beaver. Original Airdate 5.10.05 

"In the shocking, action-packed first season finale, a determined Veronica must betray someone she cares deeply about in order to solve the mystery of who murdered her best friend Lilly, but what she discovers puts her life in serious danger. Meanwhile, Jake Kane asks Duncan if he really wants to know what happened on the night Lilly died, and Keith awaits the results of a paternity test."

Zelda's Thoughts:

  • TIME TO FIND OUT WHO KILLED LILLY KANE. Prepare for everything to hurt.
  • Aw man, the pain of Veronica happily preparing dinner with Lianne. It's all gonna hurt.
  • Lianne's drinking from a water bottle, but we who know the future know what's inside.
  • Dammit Keith don't break up with Alicia we like Alicia. Lianne will only let us down. No, Keith!
  • And you know Keith did it because he sees how happy Veronica is to have Lianne back. He doesn't seem like he's in love with Lianne anymore. He loves Alicia. IT HURTS.
  • Time for the Kanes to come clean to Duncan. And they think Duncan killed Lilly.
  • But come now, show, it's too early in the episode for that to be the case.
  • Fuck, though, what must it be like to think your son killed your daughter, and to cover it up. How can they even look at each other? How can they even look at him? (Flashback to Ep3 at the Kane family dinner table when no one is looking at each other. Oh.)
  • Oops and now Beaver is planting the seeds with Veronica that Logan was actually in town when Lilly was killed. Alibi gone.
  • And now that Veronica suspects Logan, she's not avoiding him, she's going back and trying to make up with him, after fleeing when she found the camera.
  • And now everything is tinged. He says he's worried it was Duncan, but that makes it look like he's deflecting blame.
  • Veronica: *makes a call to her dad making it clear she thinks Logan killed Lilly* // Weevil: *strolls into frame from a darkened doorway* // Me: Fuck.
  • Oh, I forgot Celeste agreed to pay them for finding Duncan after all. I guess we do owe Mac and someone else money after all. (Never mind, I forgot the future but now I remember)
  • Keith's faaaaaaaace when Veronica  signs away any claim to the Kanes. THEY'RE BOTH CRYING I LOVE THEM. "I am without a doubt your father." "Yeah you are."

  • And while Lamb is searching Logan's room, Weevil is gonna take his own brand of justice. Except Deputy Sacks got to him just in time. For now.
  • "I asked you a question." // "And I ignored it and moved on. Keep up."
  • ow ow ow Logan calls Veronica for help from the interrogation room. And Lamb tells him she's the one who turned him in ow ow ow.
  • "The Echolls kid, what'd you find out?" // "Among other things, I'm pretty sure he's dating your daughter." ...oops
  • More amazing acting from Bell and Dohring in their confrontation on the beach
  • And Veronica knows Lianne's water bottle is not filled with water.
  • As Veronica goes to remove the screws from Lilly's air vent, and discovers the screws were already removed, and the door slowly opens, I whisper loudly "OH THAT'S RIGHT, I FORGOT." Because Aaron Murderface Echolls is in the closet, listening.
  • But Veronica dropping the catering tray alerted Aaron someone was coming, so he didn't finish getting to the tapes.
  • (and he knew to look there because Sheriff Lamb had them check Logan's air vents and Lamb knew to look because Veronica told him to look there EVERYTHING IS SO WELL-CONSTRUCTED)
  • And now we have the final reveal of who Lilly's lover and murderer was: Aaron Fuckface Echolls.
  • And finally we have the One True Flashback to Rule Them All: What actually happened the day Lilly Kane was murdered.
  • Every time Lilly dies, in every scenario, it's always awful to watch.
  • No no no no Veronica don't get in the car THE MURDERER IS IN THE CAR.
  • And there's broken Logan, drunk and standing on the edge of a bridge.
  • And there's Weevil and his gang, out for revenge.
  • Please stop these children. Save them from disaster.
  • What do you do when you realize there's a murderer in your car? Make sure your seatbelt is buckled, and crash that fucking car.
  • Daniel and I were just talking about airbags. I guess Veronica's didn't deploy.
  • V has the tapes back from unconscious Aaron, but can't quite reach her phone.
  • God this is terrifying. He looks ordinary. But she knows what violence he's capable of. And she's smart and she's wily but she's also a tiny teenage girl.
  • And he's no longer unconscious.
  • Good for Veronica. Terrified but stashing the tapes in different places.
  • I'm still so pissed about what Logan does to those tapes.
  • Question for those of us who live in the future. While Aaron getting off the hook for Lilly's murder is beyond upsetting, you can see how they finagled that. But how does he not get any punishment for attempting to murder both Veronica and Keith, or for assaulting the rando in the house? HOW. ACTUALLY HOW.
  • The fight between Keith and Aaron is brutal and scary and without music. A hero vs. a monster.
  • And then he flicks on his lighter.
  • Keith is in literal flames but he rescues Veronica from the fridge. Get this man a cape.
  • Aw redemption for Back Up! Earlier Logan mocked his killer instinct, but that canine knows when someone's trying to steal his humans' cars, and he will bite.
  • And then Aaron gets hit by a fucking truck and it's hilarious.
  • ...oops Jake Kane is also getting arrested, for obstruction of justice. Fair.
  • And Veronica's kicking Lianne out. "I know you're not through drinking. I know you didn't even finish rehab. You checked yourself out and that was my college money. I bet on you, and I lost. I've been doing that my whole life."
  • "Veornica, it's not easy." // "I know it's not." She does know. But she also knows that she has to do what's not easy for her either, to protect herself, and to protect Keith.
  • And she called Alicia, not Lianne, to sit with Keith for when he woke up.
  • FUCK YOU LIANNE. She stole the Kane reward money. Fuck fuck fuck you.
  • And our farewell - for now - to Lilly. The two best friends, sunning in a pool full of water lilies. 

  • Veronica wants to be at peace now she found the killer. But Lilly knows better. "Don't forget about me, Veronica." // "I could never."

Daniel's Thoughts:

  • Keith is going to the papers!
  • Cheyenne’s back trying to do the right thing
  • The testimony of a hooker is not good though because HOOKERS ARE AMORAL.  Fuck you, newspaper guy.
  • The results!  Keith has the results!  He doesn’t open it yet though.
  • What a nice big happy family.  Veronica is hopeful.  Lianne is temporarily satisfied.  Keith looks skeptical.
  • The results: Keith sees it.  We don’t.
  • And something’s going on with Dick and the Beav….but what???
  • The article has gone through – but is this the only evidence needed? Nope….we’ll get more.  But people are talking about it.
  • OH NO. Veronica shoves Wallace into the girl’s room/her office.
  • Keith doesn’t seem very happy that his wife is back…  Again, I think skeptical is the word. 
  • Whoa.  Jake tells Duncan that he killed Lilly.  And maybe he believes that. And as his parents, they’re doing everything they can do cover it up.
  • Everyone thinks they know what happened to Lilly…but no one knows.  Beav (and maybe Dick) know that Logan came back early from their trip.  So does that mean Beaver thinks Logan killed Lilly?
  • One thing is clear  - Logan found Lilly at least.
  • And she’s sorta acting here now.  But sorta not.  She suspects Logan and she’s working him, despite herself.  She’s not mentioning the real reason that she left – the cameras set up in the pool house.  Veronica calls it “the guest house” but Imma still call it the pool house. [Seconded. - Z]
  • And now Weevil overhears it so he has his own theory.  He thinks Logan did it too.  This, of course, is misdirection.
  • “You know what you just signed away?  Nothing.  You didn’t sign a thing.”  It’s finally revealed: Veronica’s paternity and it’s Keith and it’s a wonderful and they’re both so happy.
  • Uh oh. Weevil’s sneaking up on Logan.  He’s gonna bash his head in.  Saved by the cops!
  • And Logan has no idea…that Veronica was the one who came through with the information.  And the look on his face when sheriff doofus tells him.
  • Back-Up!!!
  • She threatens Logan with Back-Up.  But Logan knows that Back-up is a big softy. And Back-up knows that Logan is actually a good guy.  Because dogs know.
  • Video of Lilly and Veronica singing “If You wanna be my lover” – Ha!
  • I mean why would Lianne leave that bottle of vodka disguised as water right in the fridge.  It’s just dumb.
  • Looks like someone already found Lilly’s hiding place.
  • And Veronica actually looks scared of Duncan which is understandable.
  • Logan’s pool house! Veronica calls it a pool house!
  • And we can see by the video that Lilly is just as smart as Veronica.  She realizes there’s a hidden camera as well.
  • And the other tape – earlier – shows creepy Mr. Echolls sleeping with Lilly.  And he’s so gross and creepy and gross.
  • Lilly was very sexually free.  Both Echolls, Weevil…and others.  I hate that it feels like she’s getting punished for that.  She is, in fact, getting punished for that.  Which is so unfair.
  • It’s nice that Veronica told Duncan about her paternity so he doesn’t have to live with that guilt.
  • And I’m wondering if Logan’s on the same bridge his mom jumped from.
  • He’s in the freaking car!  He’s in the freaking car, Veronica!!!
  • Smart girl.  Makes sure her seatbelt is on and then slams into a pole.  Aaron gets knocked out but unfortunately she does too…
  • Oh wow.  Aaron flew into the front seat.  She tries to get her phone but he’s waking up so she has to run off without it.
  • Again, even in panic, she makes smart decisions, throwing all three tapes in different places.
  • How fucking scary.  She wakes up in an old refrigerator with no air.
  • And with gasoline being thrown over it.
  • But Keith is coming.
  • Keith is not just in a fight for his life, he’s protecting his baby.
  • They seem to be at a hoarder’s house and it’s making for a very interesting fight.   The fight coordinator must have had fun with this.
  • Jeez, and I can’t imagine the panic Veronica feels right now and Kristen Bell is so freaking good.
  • And I hate the choices Kristen Bell made after Veronica Mars because she could have done so many good things.   And she eventually does.  I think Kristen is getting back on track.  I’d love to see her do more dramatic stuff.  With her flair for comedy, too, she could do some amazing award winning films. Hollywood: Please cast Kristen Bell in better things.
  • And yay, Back-Up biting Aaron and then Aaron getting hit by a truck!  So Awesome.
  • And Jake’s wrath is amazing.  Kyle Secor is so good.
  • So many things are wrapped up in this episode.
  • “You checked yourself out and that was my college money.”  That fucking sucks.  She’s realizing her mother is a garbage-person and that sucks for her.
  • And it’s nice that she called Mrs. Fannell to be there for Keith.
  • More being a garbage person – Lianne stole the 50,000 check.
  • This is nice – Lilly and Veronica in a fantasy segment.  Because Lilly can be at peace now.
  • And she’s gone.  And it’s a nice but bittersweet dream.
  • Veronica opens the door and says, “I hoped it would be you” – BUT WE DON’T SEE WHO IT IS – CLIFFHANGER – I BET IT’S DEPUTY LEO.

Favorite Lines:

Lilly: "Don't forget about me, Veronica." Veronica: "I could never."
“You know what you just signed away?  Nothing.  You didn’t sign a thing.” - Keith revealing his paternity [I'M FINE. - Z]

Neptune Roll Call: Wallace, Duncan, Logan, Weevil
First Appearance: Lloyd Blankenship
Recurring: Cheyenne, Lianne Mars, Cliff McCormack, Dick Casablancas, Cassidy "Beaver" Casablancas, Veronica's "Office," Alicia Fennel, Jake Kane, Celeste Kane, Lilly Kane, Barry Randall, Sheriff Don Lamb, Aaron Echolls, Deputy Jerry Sacks
Buffy Alum: Steve Rankin (Tara's awful father)
Logan's Inspirational Message: "Adversity is the diamond dust with which heaven polishes its jewels."
Veronica's Alias: cater-waiter with kinky brown curls


Dead Humans - 0
Backup Sighting - 1
Veronica Breaks In - 1
Aaron Breaks In - 2
Veronica Tases Someone - 0
Mac Hacks - 0
Who's Your Daddy? - 1. KEITH IS. KEITH IS.
Wallace Does Veronica a Favor - 1
Veronica Wants a Pony - 0
Logan Punches Someone - 0
Dick's Single Entendres - 0
Shenanigans Called - 0
VERONICA WAS RIGHT - 1 (Veronica finally figured it out)
VERONICA WAS WRONG - 1 (Logan didn't do it)


  1. That paternity test scene...I think I have something in my eye.

    One thing that super bugged me was that no one seemed to really register how gross it is that Aaron slept with his son's girlfriend. Lily was kind of a garbage person herself. I don't want to shame her for liking sex, that's fine but damn, cheating on your boyfriend with his father is pretty awful.

    1. Yeeeees, so gross! Like, you do you girl but maybe just don't also do your boyfriend's dad...

    2. Agreed. Aaron's gross and immoral for sleeping with his son's girlfriend, and Lily is pretty self-centered for sleeping with her boyfriend's dad. (And then planning on exposing that to the world for $$$$ that she doesn't even need-- that would have been awful for Logan.)

  2. Didn't Aaron's legal team play off the guy he attacked (the one in the house?). And at the trial, they destroyed Veronica and Keith's credibility, so that's probably how Aaron got found guilty of that charge.

    I'm still so mad that Logan destroyed those tapes. What a selfish, short-sighted thing to do.