PLEASE NOTE: THIS IS A SPOILER-RICH ZONE. If your diet requires you to dine on television spoiler-free ... good luck with that.


Tuesday, February 5, 2013

Cold-blooded Jelly Doughnut

Episode 34: Beauty & the Beasts. Original Airidate 10.20.98 
The Beasts

"Oz becomes the prime suspect when a series of animal-like attacks occurs in Sunnydale."

Zelda's Thoughts:

  • So when I was first getting into this show, my mom got me a Buffy guide book of some sort. It kept referring to the episode All Men Are Beasts, and I was really confused, as ... that episode didn't exist. I'm not sure if that was an earlier title for the episode, or just the book getting it wrong (Faith does say "All men are beasts" in the teaser). Cool story bro.
  • We don't really like this episode. The metaphor is sorely lacking in subtlety.
  • Wolfy Oz likes rabbits. To eat, not to pet, so Anya would approve, I think.
  • The wolf makeup has improved (I guess) from S2.
  • Geez, Xander, at least PRETEND to try to stay awake a bit while on Oz-watch. He immediately lies down to sleep.
  • Parking lot graveyard.
  • Gasp. Who killed random human (Jeff) in the teaser? Was it newly-returned Angel? Wolfy Oz? Spoiler: no and no.
  • I've never been in a flower relationship. I WILL DIE ALONE.
  • Aw Buffy makes kissyface with Scott.
  • "Just a thought: Poker? Not your game."
  • omg srsly SHENANIGANS on the school shrink smoking on school grounds. So many shenanigans on that. Of course, it does match the motif of if you're smoking in Sunnydale, you're either evil or destined to die.
  • It's good Buffy is continuing to open up about Angel. I like this shrink guy. Pity he's doomed.
  • When did Feral Angel have time to find pants but no shirt or shoes? Shenanigans.
  • I was about to type that I like how Willow kept her cool while Xander and Cordy spazzed, because Willow had to focus on the job at hand, but then she fainted.
  • Glad to see the school library has returned to its typical uninhabited state.
  • Oh Buffy, just tell Giles Angel is back. Just tell him. I understand you're afraid, but ... okay, I admit I have baggage about people lying/obfuscating the truth. I don't approve of "protecting" someone from the truth because what you're actually saying is you don't respect/trust them enough to handle it. Okay, clearly in this case she wants to understand more before she decides what to do. But she's not the slayer of later years. She's still growing into her leadership, she still has her parental figures to guide her, and she should ask for help. It's not quite the same as Xander's big Lie, but it's still not respectful or wise.
  • Aw Scott is funny. "I hope you realize I don't actually know these people..."
  • I'd accuse Buffy of cutting class to go see Angel, but we learned last episode that seniors can leave school grounds on lunch. Continuity!
  • Hey Pete, you win, you're the most unpleasant boy in high school. Please go away.
  • See, the metaphor's not even a metaphor. "You do this to me," "I'm all you've got," "You know you shouldn't make me mad." It's just straight up what it is, and it's unpleasant. Then again, Glee handled this shit even worse, so I guess we should be grateful.
"Yeah, I think you should be grateful."
  • "You know what works? Don't get hit."
  • Oh Pete, don't come after Oz on a full moon night. That's just unwise.
  • I love that Pete doesn't even acknowledge/notice that Oz is in a cage.
  • Oh look. Yet again, this cage has proven incapable of staying shut against the strength of supernatural creatures. I guess we've learned never to ever use it again, right? Right? Sigh.
Dream on, Zelda.
  • I forgot Pete kills Debbie. :(
  • This is exciting. We're chasing Pete, we're chasing WolfOz, Angel shows up. Action-packed fun!
  • Willow pulled Oz's tail. Not a euphemism, but still hilarious.
  • Though the metaphor is clumsily done, I do approve of our full condemnation of a woman-hater.
  • Awwww he says "Buffy" and then falls to her feet, weeping. All the feels!
  • "Great, now I'm gonna be stuck with serious thoughts all day."

Daniel's Thoughts:

  • Werewolf Oz!
  • Ugh, I’m not calling a shenanigan but “rabbits” does not sound like “rabbis”,  Xander.
  • Also, stop being all worried that you said something that makes you sound gay.  Idiot High School Boy.
  • I’m not entirely convinced the library cage can hold Oz-wolf.
  • Faith trying to bond with Buffy is hilarious.  But the comparison of Scott Hope to a blueberry muffin is…well also hilarious. (marry me, Scott! It’s legal now!)
  • Faith: “All Men are beasts”.  Yeah…pretty much.
Amy             Maybe/kinda?          Debbie
  • Oz is being Oz. And it makes me laugh.
  • Debbie looks like Amy. =====>
  • And Pete is creepy from the get-go.
  • I think Giles is unfairly blaming Xander for the open window and going to sleep.  True, Xander did go to sleep too quickly but Giles doesn’t know that part.  It’s kind of unfair to make a student stay up all night to watch the wolf anyway.  I think Giles should have made it his responsibility.  Or at least make shifts throughout the night where one sleeps in the back. I know staying up all night for three nights is a little unreasonable for Giles to do alone, too. Still, too quick with the yelling.
  • Could a guidance counselor really smoke in his office in front of a student? Even in the 90s? Zelda called this shenanigan, so good.
  • “You know that thing where you bail in the middle of an upsetting conversation?  It’s dramatic, I know, but sometimes it's a necessary guy thing."  Yep.
  • I think this is the first time Oz has gotten intensely emotional.   I guess thinking you may have killed someone will do that to you.
  • Buffy’s reaction to seeing Angel alive is awesome. SMG is so good.
  • Scooby lunch box!  I love that Willow’s medical tools are in a Scooby lunchbox. 
Scooby Lunchbox!  Filled with medical tools.
  • Miss Edith is back!
  • Nice shot of Faith dancing.
  • And then punching Buffy as a reaction to being startled.  Awesome.
  • I’m surprised Giles isn’t suspicious at all regarding Buffy’s questions about her “dreams”.
  • This is the second time they use “the hills are alive” as a metaphor.  It doesn’t really make as much sense here.  Last time it was a metaphor for happiness.  This time it seems like it’s supposed to be a metaphor for how vivid a dream is – which...what?
  • While I’m sure Giles’ assessment of what Angel would be like if he were alive today is troubling, I still think Buffy should have told him.
  • Scott’s pretty funny, I guess. (Have my children, Scott!)
  • I like the growth of Angel in these episodes.  They could have just brought him back making him all hunky-dory and that would have been easy – but they chose to go the longer route that makes more sense.
  • I don’t buy that Buffy would confide in this guidance counselor more than she would in Giles.  And if I do decide to buy it, I don’t forgive it.
  • Does the liquid formula make Pete a demon or just a dick?
Did someone say Dick Demon?
  • Debbie is really such a sad character.
  • Ugh this whole Jekyll/Hyde wife beating metaphor is so heavy handed.  And some of the writing is just ridiculous.
  • This is the second time Giles gets accidentally hit in the butt with a sharp object.  The first time was by Jenny with a crossbow.  This time? A Tranquilizer dart from Buffy.  And his fall is hilarious.
  • Willow pulled Oz’s tail!
  • Angel saved Buffy!!!
  • And this is the point where Buffy should have gone to Giles.
  • Cordelia: “Where have I been?”  Seriously.  Can we get more Cordy?
  • Poor Scott Hope.  Two friends dead and still struggling with his sexuality. (let’s grow old together, Scott!)

Favorite Lines:

Zelda: Giles, after getting tranqed: "Oh right, bloody priceless." floppy fall. That was beautiful I want a gif.
Thanks Lucas for the gif!
Daniel: "I'm serious.  Something's gonna happen that you probably won't believe." [Pete transforms into a monster] "Or you might..." -Oz

Arc/Continuity Stuff:

  • Sunnydale has a marching jazz band.
  • Miss Edith and the rest of Dru's dolls are still at the mansion.
  • Also, Willow's third pink fuzzy sweater has appeared (well, okay, second, since we haven't gotten to Doppelgangland yet):


Voiceover - Buffy, fading into Willow
Oz's Hair - red. or wolfy. why isn't he a redheaded wolf? Daniel says because his natural hair color is probably brown.
Dead Humans - 4
Dead Undeads - 0
Dead Flashbacks - 0
Giles Unconscious - 1
Giles Cleans His Glasses - 0
Buffy Breaks a Door - 0
Evil Reveal - 1 (Pete)
Unevil Reveal - 0
Shenanigans Called - 2
Apocalypse Called - 0


  1. RE: The guidance counselor smoking.

    I remember this not being odd at all the first time I watched it during its original run. This is because it was completely normal to smoke everywhere in the 90s, pretty much. There really weren't any "designated smoking areas" as you could smoke indoors all you wanted.

    That being said, when I really think about it now, I can't recall a single instance of a teacher/guidance counselor smoking inside the school in front of students. Nor do I recall schools smelling like smoke so I think your shenanigan is valid. I don't think it was permitted, at least in the 90s onward, for teachers to smoke inside a school.

    Although, I think it was to try and get her to relax around him. He was doing something bad but confiding in her about it and trusting her not to tell anyone so that Buffy would feel safer to open up and confide in him. Kind of a sharing of secrets thing. But I could be remembering this scene wrong, I thought he asked her not to tell anyone?

  2. I think it was only allowed in teachers lounges then. But certainly not anywhere else.

    Frankly, I think it was just used as a plot device. And Joss's smoking = bad guy or death thing.

    1. Oh probably. Joss really has issues about both drinking and smoking. You drink or smoke in Sunnydale, you're gonna have a bad time. :|

    2. To be fair, that might also be the network - WB was for teens.

      Our school had a complete zero tolerance policy on smoking anywhere on school grounds ... so the kids would go just past the parking sign which designated school grounds and smoke on the corner there.

  3. Also, stop being all worried that you said something that makes you sound gay. Idiot High School Boy.
    This is why I think that Joss was leaning towards a Xander gay storyline as opposed to a Willow gay storyline. His vehement denial, yet constant "accidental" innuendo, Spike and the basement of doom, etc