PLEASE NOTE: THIS IS A SPOILER-RICH ZONE. If your diet requires you to dine on television spoiler-free ... good luck with that.


Tuesday, April 28, 2015

Flock of Hobbits

Episode 5.18: Intervention. Original Airdate 4.24.01

"A weary Buffy seeks to regain her focus by embarking on a quest with the Primitive; Spike cavorts with his very own 'Buffybot'; and Glory instructs her minions to spy on Buffy's friends in the hopes of ascertaining the Key's true identity."

Zelda's Thoughts:

  • "Some minutes are harder than others." Buffysads :(
  • "I mean, I can beat up demons until the cows come home. And then I can beat up the cows." I love that line. If I didn't know the amazing Buffybotness to come, that might be my favorite line, because I use it a lot.
  • "Riley left because I was shut down." No, Riley left because he got his panties in a twist that Buffy didn't need him the way he wanted to be needed in order to feel like a valid man, and didn't have the language skills to communicate that without an ultimatum. ["Crossfire" - D]
  • And in the land of Inconsistent Characterization of Dawn: Dawn, who was mad at Buffy for emotionally abandoning her last episode, and who sometimes acts like she's 10 and sometimes like the age she actually is, is now stable and healthy and telling Buffy to go off on her vision quest with no pouting. So, you know, WHATEVER, writers.
  • Okay, so I love the Buffybot because SMG is hilarious, but we're all still acknowledging the grossness of Spike having her made in the first place.
  • It's also just kind of weird because ... part of what he loves about Buffy is her fight, and the fight in the bot is all facade-y and acknowledged as such. *shrug*
  • So I'm vaguely curious. Before Glory and co knew the Key was a human ... how were they going to open the portal in the first place? Since it's Dawn's blood that does the trick. If the Key had been a suede jacket, would they have had to tear out the seams? The things I think about as Giles and Buffy hike through a dessert in turtlenecks, sweaters, and warm winter jackets. Happy California April! (yes, I know it gets cold at night. this is not night)
  • "I jump out of the circle and then jump back in it, and then, um ... I shake my gourd." // "I know this ritual! The ancient shamans were next called upon to do the hokey pokey and turn themselves around." // "Go quest." I love love love this scene.

And that's what it's all about.

  • Buffybot is like...if Spike wrote slashfic for himself.
  • "Darn your sinister attraction!" Buffybot is like the TBS version of smuttytalk.
  • "No programs, don't use that word. Just be Buffy." *Buffybot smiles an entirely un-Buffylike smile*
  • Seriously, though, SMG has the prettiest smile here and I'm glad Buffybot gets to use it, since Buffy doesn't much this season.
  • "Time to slay. Vampires of the world, beware!" I fucking love that he programmed this into her. Because it backfires spectacularly but also like yes of course that's part of Buffy.
  • Parking lot graveyard! I've missed you!
  • "I don't understand that question, but thank you for asking. You're my friend, and a carpenter."
  • "Spike! It's Spike and he's wearing the coat." Buffybot is the best. SMG is clearly having so much fun as she bounces around Spike.

  • Wow and from Spike's knowing look, he clearly programmed her to be extra-horny post-slaying. It's gross again.
  • Oops. Spike got abducted.
  • At least they let the First Slayer speak for herself this time. She has a gorgeous voice, too.
  • "Love. Give. Forgive. Risk the pain."
  • Gay 1999-Present. Nice of him to track that, I guess?
  • BEST LINE EVER. (see favorite lines below)
  • Buffybot's run out of helpful Willow facts, recycling "You're my best friend." and non-segueing into "You're recently gay."
  • Shenanigans! They were at Xander's apartment at night, and left to go get weapons at Buffy's home. When they arrive at Buffy's house, it is broad freaking daylight. Same with when they get Spike to Glory's place - again broad daylight, when he was taken in the middle of the night. Do they want us to think it suddenly takes hours to get across town?
  • "Death is not a gift. My mother just died. I know this."
  • Mention of Glory. Buffybot accesses her files. "She's a god. She wants the Key." Good job, Buffybot!
  • "The who whatting how with HUH?"
  • "It's understandable. Spike is strong and mysterious and sort of compact but well-muscled-" // "I am not having sex with Spike! But I'm starting to think you might be." slashfic!
  • "Say, look at you. You look just like me. We're very pretty."
  • Buffy's righteous outrage they couldn't tell her apart from a robot is completely legit.
  • "But I really think we should be listening to the other Buffy, Guy-les."
  • "You're right, he's evil. But you should see him naked. I mean really."
  • Why don't they do a locator spell for Spike? Isn't that a thing they know how to do?
  • The Minions watch The Price is Right. Of course they do. "We will bring you the limp and beaten body of Bob Barker." A hilarious line except that they were like DON'T BREAK THE KEY when they abducted Spike. But Bob Barker they can beat up?
  • I really hate the fight choreography here. I don't believe the Minions would know how to fight like this at all. It all feels contrivey and isn't even interesting visually.
  • "She seemed to be everywhere at once!" oh hey now because TWO BUFFIES
  • JM very good at acting like every movement hurts.
  • "Willow fixed me. She's gay!" Question. Do we think Spike was dumb enough to program knowledge of the Key into the bot?
  • I really love this final scene. It's a clever move on Buffy's part, to get the info out of Spike, and to say thank you for what he did, while making it clear that the OTHER thing he did is gross.
  • And I love Spike's realization mid-kiss that this is not his bot. 

  • "That thing, it wasn't even real. What you did, for me and Dawn, that was real. I won't forget it."

Daniel's Thoughts:

  • This conversation is weird. Buffy feeling like she’s turning cold and that’s being the slayer’s fault.
  • “Weird love’s better than no love.” Is it?
  • Gross, it’s Warren.
  • Buffybot!!
  • Sarah is wobbling like a human having to stand for too long, not like a robot who doesn't care about standing for too long.  My only gripe about her performance as Buffybot.
  • Hot LA desert. So much that there are wavy lines. Buffy & Giles? Wearing coats.

  • Giles looks so embarrassed to be doing the hokey pokey ritual. I love it.
  • Ugh, Gross Spike.
  • Oooh, Dawn’s starting to steal.
  • “Darn, your sinister attraction.”
  • I love the whole terminator view that Buffy has when she views her friends.
  • “Anya, how is your money?” “Fine! Thank you for asking.” It’s so nice how happy that makes Anya. But it's also sad that people don't regularly ask Anya about her interests.
  • “You’re my friend and a carpenter!”
  • Anya killed a vamp!
  • Man, Xander has such a huge apartment.
  • “Sometimes in the movies when they go crazy, they slap ‘em”
  • (Gay, 1999-present). Love it.
  • They really can’t tell that this is a robot?
  • SHENANIGANS! All the sun that hits Spike.
  • Also, convenient that you can’t brain suck a vampire.
  • “Maybe change your clothes, something more fight-y” She’s fought in worse. I remember a pair of leather pants…
  • This whole conversation is amazing.
  • “We’re very pretty.”
  • You can tell how far the visual effects have come.  Buffy & Buffybot in the same room is much better done than Willow & EvilWillow in Season 3.
We're very pretty.

  • “You guys couldn't tell me apart from a robot?” HA. Exactly what I was thinking.
  • I love that Buffybot can’t pronounce Giles.
  • “We will bring you the limp and broken body of Bob Barker.”
  • Xander’s really learned how to fight this year.
  • This whole last scene is one big SHENANIGAN. Buffy is pretending to be Buffybot to find out if Spike told Glory about the key. But why would Buffybot even know about the key? Warren wouldn't have programmed it into her because he didn't know. And if Spike told her, he’d be betraying Buffy and Dawn right there. So why would Buffybot say, “I’ll tell her” and Spike say, “No.” That should be a dead giveaway that Buffybot wasn't Buffybot.

Dawn: Hey, I was like five then?
Daniel: No, you weren't.
Zelda: You didn't exist.

Favorite Lines:
Zelda: "Angel's lame. His hair goes straight up and he's bloody stupid." - Buffybot, delivering the BEST LINE IN THE ENTIRE SERIES
She's just so cute here.

Arc/Continuity Stuff:
First appearance: Buffybot
Recurring: Warren, Glory, Minions, the Primitive, Tara
Not counting her spell-stealing last episode, this is the first time Dawn starts stealing 

Anya's Hair - honey-colored, loose waves, just past the shoulders
Dead Humans - 0
Dead Undeads - 3
Dead Flashbacks - 0
Giles Unconscious - 0
Giles Cleans His Glasses - 0
Buffy Breaks a Door - 0
Evil Reveal - 0
Unevil Reveal - 0
Shenanigans Called - 3
Apocalypse Called - 0


  1. Ok, two things here.
    1. I love love LOVE Spike's hair here as they're both lying under the pink sheet
    2. That scene where the Buffybot stands up and Spike fastens his pants - eeewwww

    Also, Marster's acting during the fight and the torture earlier. And always maintaining his snarky edge.

  2. While I love the Buffybot and think she's hilarious, I will forever be creeped out by the fact that she was created as a sexbot for Spike. Also, I cannot understand how people root for Spuffy given this because that is so wrong and not ok for someone to do.

    1. I find the bot gross in its weird depiction of his fantasy of Buffy, but ... okay I don't really know how to phrase this. Something about pr0n and sex toys and privacy of one's own something or other. Except that the Bot kept getting into trouble.

      And I still ship the Spuffy bc ... well largely their chemistry, but also because he grows into a better man. Current Spike doesn't deserve her. Future Spike ...

  3. Spike may think Buffyboot may know about the key cuz she was hanging out with the scoobies who at first thought she was real buffy