Everyone Wants Petrified Hamsters

Episode 5.19: Tough Love. Original Airdate 5.1.01

"When Tara falls victim to Glory's incredible power, Willow embraces dark magic and launches a counterattack."

Daniel's Thoughts:

• Interior. University. Remember when we were supposed to have the college years?
• Buffy was taking poetry? Lame.
• I love haikus!
• It's sweet that they show how much Buffy really does want to stay in school but she just can't right now.
• Condescending doctor is condescending.
• Principal Stevens is of a way different ilk than Sunnydale's other principals. Of course, this isn't High School yet.
• And condescending Xander is condescending.
• Giles is really the only one that understands Anya...or even seems to make an effort to.
• "That's right, foreigner." Heh, Anya.
• Buffy getting a talk from Giles is great and all, but she's kinda missing the point. She's trying to overcompensate, now.
• All the furry coats in southern California.

What? It's Chilly.

• This fight between Willow and Tara is so manufactured...it's just to get Tara away from Willow.
• It's a pretty schmaltzy episode. But it's the beginning of the end of season 5. The homestretch.
• Giles! I love that he just knew a demon was out there and he grabbed him so nonchalantly. BAD ASS GILES.
• "You like this sort of thing don't you?" Glory holding Tara's hand. Lame. Lame lame line. 
• This is all so sad. They've spent way too much time in the hospital this season.
• All this talk this episode about Willow "not knowing how they feel." Now, she does. I guess that was the point.
• Seriously, why didn't the monks just turn the key into a tin can and drop it to the bottom of the Pacific Ocean?
• "That came out a lot more Lesbian than it sounded in m yhead."
• Neat tricks, Willow. Why don't you teleport her again? [Nosebleed? - Z]
• This is so sad but sweet the way Willow is taking care of Tara.
• "Pure green energy..." ...shit.

Zelda's Thoughts:

• We're beginning our final stretch of the season! Every episode from here on out runs back to back
• Paralleling Buffy dropping out of school with Ben's firing for being AWOL for two weeks. Time go grow a beard and go work for Viola Davis!
• baaaaaaaaaaad actinggggggggg Ben
• "Begging your pardon, and begging in general." That was kind of awesome.
• baaaaaaaaaaad actinggggggggg Glory. I guess they're well-cast as siblings?
• "I've recently come to realize there's more to me than just being human. I'm also an American." // "Yes, I suppose you are, in a manner of speaking. You were born here - your mortal self." // "Well, that's right, foreigner."
• "Oh, and you know what else is un-American? French people."
• And in the continuing adventures of Inconsistent Characterization of Dawn, this week we have petulant truant Dawn.
• Aw poor Tara sitting alone on the bench.
• Sorry I'm not writing much this ep ... I just have less to say? Idk
• Gasp! Glory's with Tara.
• Giles opening a door knowing there's a Minion at the door and knocking. I fucking love it. A little nod that Ripper's still inside the fuddy duddiness of Libriarian Giles
• Also the offscreen torturing. Hello Ripper.
• Tara's look of resolve when Glory tries to torture the identity of the Key out of her. Her acting this scene has been whatever, but I love that look.

• Aw Tara got brainsucked. Commence bad brainsucked acting.
• "Man, words cannot express how much I hate this place." // "It's dreadful." // "It's like communism."
• Testament to the severity of the torture from Glory, I guess, that Spike is still raccoon-eyed this episode.
• Ugh MT baaaad monologuing. Give me five minutes with her, I could coach this into a better performance, I swear.
• "I'm a vampire. I know something about evil. You're not evil." // "Maybe I'm not evil, but I don't think I can be good." // "Well, I'm not good, and I'm okay."
• Uh oh. Willow's ransacking the lofted Scary Magic Books.

Very dark. Much magick. Wow.

• "I owe you pain!" Scary Willow is scary.
• I do like this moment - a rare moment of liking CK's performance - when Buffy says they used to bow down to gods and Glory just laughs with glee, like now the fun's started.
• The costumes we see are the costumes we've got for the rest of the season! Or just about.

• Interesting but uncomfortable thought: Willow said earlier she felt like the junior partner in her relationship with Tara, in magic, in gayness, in having a dead mom, etc etc. And now she's calling Tara her girl, calling her baby, spoonfeeding her. She is inarguably the dominant partner right now, and will remain so for the rest of the relationship. Again, interesting but uncomfortable reading of it.
• Aw and this is so sad, too - because as we saw, Tara wouldn't consciously betray Dawn, even to save her own life. But in her brainsucked state, she reveals Dawn's identity to Glory - and the chase truly begins.

Favorite Lines:

Daniel: "You know what else is Un-American? French people." - Anya

Zelda: "Man, words cannot express how much I hate this place." // "It's dreadful." // "It's like communism." - Xander/Giles/Anya

Arc/Continuity Stuff:

• Recurring: Ben, Glory, Minions, Tara
• Buffy's dropping out of school to look after Dawn
• Anya officially comes out as a capitalist (even though we've all known for a while)
• Shoutout to Professor Walsh and Adam
• Glory brainsucked Tara
• Willow's first time going black-eyed with magic.
• Glory now knows Dawn is the Key. Ruh roh.

Stats:

Anya's Hair - honey colored, loose curls, just past shoulder-length

Dead Humans - 0

Dead Undeads - 0

Dead Flashbacks - 0

Giles Unconscious - 0

Giles Cleans His Glasses - 0

Buffy Breaks a Door - 0

Glory Breaks a Dorm - 1

Evil Reveal - 0

Unevil Reveal -  0

Shenanigans Called - 0

Apocalypse Called - 0