No, Gia, Chlamydia is Not a Flower

Episode 2.07: Nobody Puts Baby in a Corner. Original Airdate 11.16.05

"Veronica goes undercover after Duncan comes to her with a plea to help him find out which one of the children Meg was babysitting was being mentally abused by their parents. Meanwhile, Dick, Beaver and Kendall are visited by their lawyer, who informs them of Big Dick's wishes."

We'd like to welcome another friend to join us on some upcoming posts! Welcome, Lynda.

Daniel's Thoughts:

• Firstly, I thought the title was wrong, that it should be the corner and not a corner....but IMDB tells me I'm wrong
• Veronica’s trying to watch The Big Lebowski.  You know that totally overrated movie that straight boys like?  Don’t @ me. But you know, Veronica’s not “like other girls” – that whole trope.  Whatever.  Duncan wants to make out. And I think that’s a much better use of their time. [Yeah, well, you know, that's just like your opinion, man. - The Dude]
• Poor Logan acts like a third wheel but he’s invited Cordelia over so it’s okay.
• Re: Kendall’s age: Veronica: She’s 25.  Me: YOU’RE 25.  (Kristen was in fact 25 when filming this episode.  ....Charisma was 35.)
• I’m glad they brought back Mr. Pope.  He seems to be OK after learning his investment won’t get him that boat he wants.
• I’ve never seen a class like this in HS – A class about real world stuff like investments.  I was too busy learning math I’d never use again.
• Guttenberg’s back and we still don’t know what a monster he is.
• Except he’s showing some of his true colors now by talking like a privileged asshole.
• Logan is wearing a slytherin shirt, before it was cool

• What is with Logan using Veronica’s “office” as his own?
• So we’ve got two plots this week:  Logan trying to get vindicated, and apparently Meg has some emails about trying to save an abused kid.
• Lol.  Meg truly was a saint – she babysat everyone.  These kids with so much time on their hands.
• And Duncan knew Meg well…and all her jobs.
• Lamb on that invite – omg.  He’s so swarmy.

• I’m pretty sure I have Dick’s jacket.
• “See how much you’re sneezing when you have gonorrhea” What?
• I love how Veronica totally inceptions Gia. “You should come to my house!”
• “You’re 40 and he’s gone.” OMG. That book title.
• School, part time job, investigating and now fake babysitting. SERIOUSLY WHEN DOES SHE DO HOMEWORK?
• The kid’s crayons are called JOSHOLA.  Can they not afford Crayola?
• OMG, this kid's dad, the way this smarmy asshole just casually invites Veronica to smoke pot with him and fool around like he’s talking about his day.
• Hey, a Wallace mention.  That’s great?
• Andddd….now she’s inceptioned Miss Hauser.
• Cass and Beav’s real mom looks like Mia Farrow in Rosemary’s baby.

And she did kind of give birth to devil's spawn ...

• Wow.  All these parents are wound so tight.  These poor kids are going to need so much therapy.
• A plastic surgeon who tells a potential patient that they’re fine the way they are: mensch, according to Veronica.  But we’ll see…
• Gia’s kinda adorable.  Annoying but adorable.
• Cordelia?  Not great at inceptioning.  She’s trying to get Logan to invite her to stay with him but Logan sees right through it.
• “Bessie, when the milk stops being free, I stop paying for it”.  Eww, Logan.  I mean, I’m not exactly pro Kordelia but.
• Veronica is in teenage girl hell.
• And here’s some hints about what the monster that Goodman is.
• “You’ll always be 9 to me, going on 30.” – Aww.
• Aww, Lilly reference, about her secret hiding spots.
• Man, the abuse of Meg and her sisters are so absolutely frightening, the psychological torture.
• Just when you think Lamb is the absolute worst – and he is – he finally does the right thing, based on his own abuse, I guess.  Which makes you wonder if that’s the cause of why he’s such a loathsome distrusting asshole.

Zelda's Thoughts:

• Duncan: trying to make out with Veronica. Veronica: speaking The Dude's lines along with Jeff Bridges. #priorities.
• Duncan turned off The Big Lebowski. Break up with that tool.
• Ew. Logan's still with Kendall the Grown Ass Adult
• heh and she recognizes Veronica from her iPod recon
• I was thinking about feeling bad for Logan, living with Duncan while he's canoodling with his ex, but then Kendall showed up and it's gross
• And Duncan is acting like a 25 year old sleeping with a teenager is fine. Great. This world is great.
• Ugh Beaver. I do not find you endearing because I know the future.
• And Dick is a moron.
• And Woody is the worst.
• And Duncan is shadily once again not communicating with Veronica
• Le Gasp! Logan has commandeered Veronica's Office!
• "Honestly, how much easier would your life be if you were indifferent to me?"
• And at first it looks like V isn't going to help Logan, but of course she is, because she can't resist fixin' injustice and solvin' mysteries.
• Oh right, Meg's hard drive. Okay, at least Duncan is communicating with Veronica. A second mystery to investigate!
• Ugh, this is pretty awful, what the parents do to the kids. And the reveal that it was the Mannings, it's so awful. I'm glad Meg was trying to save her sisters.
• Kendall's broke. "So what am I supposed to do?" "I don't know. What'd you do before?"
• "No, Gia, Chlamydia is not a flower." // "Well, we have it on like a trellis at our beach house." // "Your trellis is a whore." // "You're very funny, Veronica. Really, you should know that about yourself." // "Thank you, Gia." // "I used to be funny at my old school. People here don't get me."
• omg Krysten Ritter is adorable. "You should come look at my clothes!" so excited. so unlike Jessica Jones
• So my mom definitely made printout sheets of instructions for babysitting her kids, but they weren't scarily tightly scheduled nonsense. They were just tips like "no swiss cheese" and "don't worry about the mess" (that last one came up a lot)
• Look at Veronica, hanging up on Duncan to talk to Logan, look at that
• And Logan sees the picture of the "witness," Dr. Tom Griffith and realizes it's not the guy who was there.
• Gross and then the dad propositions Veronica casually and hands her a drawing Edwin made of her decapitated self
• Aw, V's writing regular emails to Wallace. I'm glad she's continuing to reach out to him, even if he's not replying. She's reminding him that she's there.
• Ew now I'm picturing Ms. Hauser hooking up with Sheriff Lamb
• oh damn it's Mama Casablancas
• and she refuses to take her kids
• wow just all the moms on this show are terrifying and awful
• as is Ms. Hauser's kid, oy
• ahahahaha I forgot she's gonna hook up with Deputy Sacks. Better than Lamb
• Dr. Griffith seems not shitty ... so far. But then why did he lie about Logan? (jk I remember)
• "Great, they kill their guests and steal their shoes ... please tell me they kill their guests."
• lol Veronica's hell is a girl's night. at least one that includes Madison Sinclair
• ew I just remembered what Kendall does next (after trying to proposition Duncan) ... or rather whom she does next ... ew
• The lesson we're learning today, kids, is that every single family in Neptune is dysfunctional. Except Veronica and Keith Mars
• "When you leave a sleepover early, I'm supposed to put a trench coat over my pajamas and come pick you up."
• GASP! the cigar shop that V followed Dr. Griffith to deals drugs and other shady activities.
• Duncan's black turtleneck makes him look like Andrew Wells

• awww #tbt to the hiding of things in air vents
• And Veronica figures it out. It's the Mannings.
• God, there are so many notebooks filled with this. [I know right? - Prop Master]
• And Grace is locked behind a hidden panel in the closet. This is so beyond fucked up.
• We're approaching one of Lamb's few redeeming moments: he listens to Veronica, goes back into the Manning house, finds the secret panel, and calls Stewart Manning out. I'm disappointed that the only reason is he'd been abused too "It's funny, I heard my own father give that exact speech once."
• And then he lets Veronica and Duncan go.
• Actually wait a goshdurned minute. He lets V and D go, but does he actually take Mr. Manning in? Do we rescue Grace or not? WE NEED TO FUCKING RESCUE GRACE.
• I hate this.

Lynda's Thoughts:

• And we open with Duncan being very unimpressed with Veronica’s Big Lebowski impression and lack of making out.  I think.  It’s hard to tell.
• Enter Logan riding in on a wave of uncomfortable.  This must be such a weird situation to be in and I don‘t know many adults that could handle it, never mind three teenagers.  I mean, clearly Logan's not but they're all trying!
• Just as I’m feeling bad for Logan despite or because of the bravado we see his actual heartbreak shine through for a brief moment and my feeling bad turns to wanting to make him hot chocolate and give him a big hug.
• And then Cordelia Casablancas comes in so never mind I take it all back.  Ickiness.
• Right, now we’re in sex-ed class and OH GIA HONEY NO.

• “Mr Casablancas breathing down her neck”.  EW so hard I need a shower.  Not sure this is intentional but most things are on this show and either way just EW.
• UH OH where is Duncan??
• Poor Keith listening to Woody’s spiel.  He looks as pained as I feel.  Just wait, Keith.  You don’t realise just how bad this is going to get.
• And we’re back at school and what’s this?  Veronica is being summoned to HER office – makes a change from Mr. Clemmons’ I guess?  (Clemmons’s?  Clemmonseses) [Clemoni? - Z]
• Ahh bittersweet with the LoVe memories.  Stop making me feel for you Logan!
• Can I just say.  Veronica Mars and Buffy Summers.  HAIR QUEENS.

• Oh wow, that look when Duncan sees Logan follow V out of the bathroom.  Yeah you better look, Duncan.
• Okay this whole babysitting thing is giving me flashbacks to high school.  Some of the kids I looked after were amazing.  The others… probably belong in this episode.  Major props to Veronica for her commitment to the case!
• Wow.  Rich boy Duncan talking down to Veronica about working makes me want to punch him.  (I mean, it’s possible he was supposed to be playing it sarcastic but we’ll never know.  Or be able to tell).  V has her own caseload, works for Keith and is one of the top students in her entire school so shut your stupid immovable face.
• Dick is now creeping on Kendall and GROSS.  You can totally see why he’s not bothered when he finds out about Logan and Kendall later.  Also, you have no idea how many times I had to scribble out Cordy and replace it with Kendall while writing this.
• Oh but her face when she realises she gets nothing makes it all worth it!
• Aaaand we’re back to sex-ed and oooh, a little chlamydia foreshadowing!
• Okay so now we're at the first babysitting job with Psycho Mum #1 and first up is Edwin of the Corn.  Logan swings by for a little detecting and we find out he lied about the night of the murder.  Shocker.
• Oof.  Awkward-in-hindsight talk between V and Duncan about babies and Meg.
• And Edwin of the Corn’s dad wants to smoke a j and oh hahaha here’s the picture my psychotic monster drew for you.
• Wallace, Wallace, Wallace.  Girl, SAME.  I hate episodes without Wallace.
• Okay V’s move with the bachelor auction leading straight into the babysitting flyer was so smooth and brilliant.
• Why is Cord Kendall just hanging around in lingerie and heels?  Is this normal?  Is this how Lynn used to dress?
• Even though I know what’s to come I really feel for Cassidy here more than the usual Dick Snr douche-moments.  I know the pain of understanding one of your parents doesn’t want you but two?  I don’t even have the words to describe the physical pain Cassidy talking to his mum makes me feel.
• Now we’re babysitting again and here’s PM#2.  Seriously, that screaming kid is almost giving me PTSD.
• And Deputy Sacks takes one for the team!
• We're back on Logan's case and as with most awful people on this show Dr Tom is a terrible human being with a good side and tries to talk V out of plastic surgery.  DON’T WORRY I STILL DISLIKE YOU.
• Oooh an inspirational voicemail!
• Girl’s night is on, ninja turtle sleeping bag and all.  BUT WAIT IT’S A TRICK.  Surprise Veronica, it’s a slumber party with people you don’t like.  So painful.
• And we’re back to Kendall hunting for her new bank account.  This scene could have been so much better with someone equal to Jason Dohring’s skills.  CC ruins so many good lines with her dreadful delivery.  Don't get me wrong, most of the time she is Cordelia perfection but... well... she's really only a little better than Alyson Hannigan.

• Oh hello Mrs. Goodman AKA PM#3.  Even the way she walks gives me the heebie jeebies!  Honestly, this woman is a freaking robot.
• Aww Keith talking about picking Veronica up from sleepovers gives me the fuzzies.  One of their cute father-daughter moments I love!
• And Keith knows all about the shady cigar shop and we find out what the good doctor is really up to.
• Duncan and Veronica finally find the hidden book and realise she spent a week in a special hell dimension for no reason because GASP it’s actually Meg’s sister!
• Duncan also finds the secret letter which is about to blow his entire life up in slow motion.  I hate how much they use Veronica's distrust of Logan to break them up but she constantly lets Duncan's deceptions slide and often they are FAR worse than Logan's.  
• And they finally find Grace hidden away behind her stacks of books.
• Sherriff Lamb ignoring Veronica’s pleas and taking them both away in handcuffs is so well played that no matter how many times I’ve seen this episode (I’m guessing four or five times) I always forget he comes back and I get so angry at him.
• So we finally see a side of Lamb we never thought we’d see and once again they make us feel bad for a not-complete-jerk-after-all.
• With the acting and the music and just… this whole thing.  The end to this episode just gives me chills every time.  Perfection.

Favorite Lines:

Lynda: "I'm sorry, did that hurt your feeling?" - Logan

Daniel: "Hey, are you sick, or am I gonna see you singing "Twist and Shout" on a parade float?" - Veronica

Zelda: "Your trellis is a whore." - Veronica

Arc/Continuity:

Neptune Roll Call: Duncan, Logan, Dick, Beaver (Absent: Wallace, Weevil, Jackie)

First Appearance: Deborah Hauser, Rodney Goodman, Mrs. Goodman

Recurring: Kendall Casablancas, Mr. Pope, Gia Goodman, Woody Goodman, Veronica's "Office," Barry Randall, Jane Kuhne, Dr. Tom Griffith, Madison Sinclair, Grace Manning, Stewart Manning, Sheriff Don Lamb, Rose Manning, Jessica Fuller

Logan's Inspirational Message: "Life's tragedy is that we get old too soon and and wise too late." - Ben Franklin

Veronica's Alias: a version of Veronica that wants plastic surgery

Logan's Nicknames: Bessie (Kendall)

Stats:

Dead Humans - 0

Backup Sighting - 1

Veronica Breaks In - 1

Veronica Tases Someone - 0

Mac Hacks - 0

Who's Your Daddy? - 0

Wallace Does Veronica a Favor - 0

Veronica Wants a Pony - 0

Logan Punches Someone - 0

Dick's Single Entendres - 1 (his commando t-shirt)

Shenanigans Called - 0

VERONICA WAS RIGHT - 0

VERONICA WAS WRONG - 0