PLEASE NOTE: THIS IS A SPOILER-RICH ZONE. If your diet requires you to dine on television spoiler-free ... good luck with that.


Tuesday, May 28, 2019

Yankee Doodle Damn Dandy

Episode 3.16: Un-American Graffiti. Original Airdate 5.01.07

“Veronica is hired to investigate what seems to be a hate crime. Meanwhile, Keith investigates local bars serving alcohol to students under 21, and faces corruption inside the police department. Logan invites Veronica to a party he’s throwing for Parker’s birthday, and Wallace encourages Piz to ‘go all in’ and reveal his feelings to Veronica once and for all.”

Zelda's Thoughts:

  • Aw Logan grabs Veronica a coffee. I like that this time they’re successfully achieving friendship shaped banter.
  • Oh but also he invites her to a party he’s throwing for Parker.
  • Oh right, if Keith is Acting Sheriff, I guess Mars Investigations would be shut down, at least for now (it’s fun to know the future)
  • Oh shit rando drunk boy got hit by a car, and I guess we should care? I forget where this is going.
  • Oh, I see, this is about his getting smashed while underage.
  • Welp, that van full of dingdongs may have paintballed the Babylon Gardens restaurant, but more importantly, they got paint on Veronica’s jacket. Now she’s pissed.
*Now* it's personal.

  • Veronica’s ruse of talking to middle school students about gun awareness goes out the window when she asks whose family has a yellow pickup truck. But it was clever while it lasted, and it got her what she wanted to know. And hey, she didn’t even have to make up an alias this time.
  • My God, Mac is not only in this episode, she’s in a scene with Veronica! By the way, as you know we track absences, and Mac has barely been in this season. Like I swear she was in more episodes before they upgraded her to regular, and it’s pissing me off.
  • At least she and V are all cuddly bantery bffing this ep.
  • Gasp then V finds Piz and Wallace and I guess with a new arc comes the reminder that she has friends who aren’t Logan.
  • (Logan, for the record, hasn’t missed an episode yet this season, and he’s the only one besides Keith and Veronica who can boast that)
  • I wanted to give Amira the benefit of the doubt after her first scene where she’s just rude to Veronica; but she’s a godawful actor in this scene where she’s supposed to suddenly be sympathetic and have a heart.
  • Oh good, the bar owner is offering to bribe Keith/the Sheriff’s department in order to stop raids on bars filled with underage kids with fake IDs
  • Welp, and when Keith busts Wallace and Piz and asks for their IDs, he says resignedly “I guess I don’t have to ask where you got these.”
  • “You may not want to believe this, but there are mistakes you can't take back. What if [Piz and Wallace had] gotten drunk and stumbled into the street like Jim Wilson. Would you want to explain that to their parents?"
  • BOOM Keith fires the deputies who weren’t actually trying to enforce his policies
  • Aaaaaaand Nasir gets deported on the excuse that his visa is expired
  • This whole plot was weird and uncomfortable, trying to wrangle with the anti-Muslim movement without quite offending either side – look at the nice Arabic people, look at the not-nice ones who celebrate dead Americans, look at the permanently disabled white soldier, look at that soldier’s racist brother. What a tidy microcosm.
  • Oh right Max. He’s gonna be a thing now.
  • And Veronica, bless her, is turning off her snark, turning off her run-away instinct, and trying to be supportive of Logan and Parker, who are really quite sweet together.
  • *snort* and because Max is having nice banter with Mac, he asks if his friends hired her
  • Oh lordy Veronica, completely cockblocking Piz flirting with a girl why why why
  • And it takes Wallace to make Veronica realize Piz has a crush on her
  • Oh hey, Piz Veronica kiss. But then he says “Just friends. I get it.”
  • And I gotta say, his hair looked its messiest pretty just now.

  • Oh Veronica, learn you nothing? Make out with someone in front of an elevator, get witnessed by your ex. THAT’S HOW TELEVISION WORKS.

Daniel's Thoughts:

  •  Logan and Veronica are getting along.  At least they’re acting like they’re getting along.
  • Apparently his and Parker’s relationship is going well enough that he’s throwing a birthday party for her.  And he’s confident enough in his and Veronica’s friendship to invite her.  That’s very presumptuous of him thinking that Veronica is OK with this.
  • New case: A Middle Eastern restaurant is getting graffiti attacks where someone wrote “terrorist” on their wall.  This was in 2007.
  • Even though Mars Investigations is shut down for a bit, while Keith is acting Sheriff, Veronica takes the case.  Apparently, Amira, the owners’ daughter went to HS with Veronica, though I can’t remember if we’ve seen her yet.  (IMDB says we haven’t.)
  • Meanwhile Sheriff Mars is taking the case of a 19 year old boy who was served so much alcohol at a bar that he stumbled out of the bar and got hit by a car.
  • Back at the restaurant, Amira’s dad doesn’t want Veronica to be on the case.  He says they don’t need her – but more importantly she’s the sheriff’s daughter AND she’s just a girl. Clearly he doesn’t watch the show.
Reminds us of someone else we know.

  • "I make Yankee Doodle Damn Dandy!"
  • Deputy Sacks seems to have his new boss’s back which is cool. We always liked Deputy Sacks, despite him having a dick boss.
  • Veronica gets into the middle school to give a presentation/Q&A to investigate who’s parent has that yellow pick-up truck.  I wonder how she was able to do that, though?  Did she just find a teacher and be like: do your kids wanna learn about criminology?
  • Another person telling Veronica she’s “just a girl.”  What the heck.
  • So the paint-ballers aren’t the culprits, but I love how she made them clean up the paint at the restaurant anyway.
  • Dick is talking about MYSPACE!  He’s also being a sexist douche but that’s par for the course.
Remember myspace, kids?

  • Meanwhile Keith’s new initiative busting bars for allowing underage drinking has hit a snag. His deputies don’t seem to want to help.  And they’re not  taking Sack’s advice about not testing Keith. Big mistake.  HUGE.
  • Hey, it’s Mac!  Things seem to be going well with her and Bronson though Veronica has questions about Mac doing things outside comfort zone.
  • And it’s Logan & Parker.  Mac’s into it because Parker’s her new best friend.
  • Veronica, however, makes an obvious excuse to leave.
  • Hey it’s Wallace!  And Piz!  The gang’s all here!  I wonder if Wallace feels bad about the last thing he said to Sheriff Douche. Probably not.
  • He instead gives Piz man-to-man advice about flirting with girls who actually know he’s alive.
  • Veronica finds the man skulking around the Middle Eastern Restaurant and finds where he lives: The Jewish frat.  Veronica: “Curious.” Me: “Oh shit.  Please don’t let this be that.”
  • But then I quickly remembered what the deal here is and it’s sweet. V finds out shortly after.  Amira and Jason are in love!  Awww.
  • But if her dad finds out, she’ll be disowned!  She seems more annoyed by this than scared…
  • V Alias: Nasir’s girlfriend
  • Oh man, Wallace and Piz get caught by Keith with fake ideas – and he knows who did the handy work.
  • He reads Veronica the riot act and Veronica looks rightfully ashamed.
  • So the guy who’s been vandalizing the restaurant is doing it because his brother who was shot up in Iraq. And because Nasir’s been handling out Un-American pamphlets.   Did we really need that last part?
  • And Keith uses Wallace & Piz as bait for his own deputies.
  • UGH, this show is using that set up that if racists meet the people they’re racist against they won’t be racists anymore.  It doesn’t work, of course.
  • Wait, did the Krimanis just call INS against Nasir?
  • Veronica very maturely comes to Parker’s party.
  • “Couch opening!”  Oh man, that’s so me at a party.
  • Max meets Mac.  And I guess a beau more her speed?
  • Wait. So.  Let me get this straight. Veronica is clearly telling Piz, let’s be friends.  He kisses her.  And then says, I gets it.  So no matter how vague Veronica is being, Piz still says he knows what she’s saying – before and after he kisses her.
  • But, hey, it works.  Because she chases after him and kisses him back.  Hey young men watching this: don’t get in that friend-zone – just kiss the girl without her permission and she’ll fall for you!
  • And of course Logan sees this.

Favorite Lines:

Zelda: "Just friends. I get it." - Piz
Daniel: "I make Yankee Doodle Damn Dandy!" - Rashad


Neptune Roll Call:  Logan, Wallace, Dick, Parker, Piz, Mac (Absent: Lamb, Weevil)
First Appearance: Deputy Gills
Recurring:  Max, Deputy Jerry Sacks, Principal Van Clemmons
Generally Known TV Face: Anthony Azizi, Cole Williams, Eric Ladin, Fred Stoller 
Veronica's Alias: Nasir's girlfriend.


Dead Humans - 0
Backup Sighting - 0 
Veronica Breaks In - 0
Veronica Tases Someone - 0
Mac Hacks - 0
Who's Your Daddy? - 0
Wallace Does Veronica a Favor - 0
Veronica Wants a Pony - 0
Logan Punches Someone - 0
Dick's Single Entendres - 1 ("Doublemint, baby!")
Shenanigans Called - 0
VERONICA WAS WRONG – 1 (just because Brett paintballed Babylon Gardens, doesn’t mean he spray painted "terrorist" on the restaurant)

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