Formerly Dangerous and Currently Annoying

Episode 4.19: New Moon Rising. Original Airdate 5.2.00

"Oz's return to Sunnydale leads to his incarceration by the Initiative and complicates the relationship between Willow and Tara."

Daniel's Thoughts:

• The title has the word Moon in it, because….Oz.
• That’s how I feel about cats, too, Willow.  I’m more of a dog person, but I’m not like ‘death to all cats’.
• It’s really cute the way Willow is over-helping by trying to include Tara.
• Hey, it’s Oz!
• Amber Benson’s really good here.  Her face speaks volumes.
• It’s odd that no one has put two and two together, with Tara & Willow.
• Man, this show likes turtlenecks….here in….southern California…

It got down to 70 today!

• Wow, Riley still doesn’t know about Angel?
• I do like the continuity.  Oz left with a purpose and he went through with it.
• Ok, I admit, Riley’s being a dick – but I mean…it’s not like Buffy’s been completely honest with him.
• Buffy’s reaction to Willow’s coming out is cute.  She’s a bit shocked and doesn’t know what to say at first.  Sure, it takes a few minutes – but she proves she’s a good friend.  It doesn’t matter to her.
• Adam’s part human, but Spike can hit him anyway.  I guess the demon part overpowers the human parts.
• Tara is just so incredibly sweet.  It’s obvious she’d do anything for Willow, even if it’s just stepping aside.
• This part, I don’t like.  I don’t like Oz’s reaction to Tara.  I understand that he’s upset – I just hate that he’s so angry.
• Hey, it’s that one classroom that they have…on campus.
• I wish Riley acknowledged Tara as more than just a victim…I know it was a quick scene, but he was acting like he didn’t know her.  A simple, “Tara, we got this” would have sufficed.  And vice-versa, if Tara said Riley’s name.
• Guys, it’s 2000.  Stop with the pagers…We don’t have a 90s factoid stat anymore
• Naked Oz is very very pink.
• I love how Willow and Buffy are wearing lab coats like that’s some sort of disguise…
• Slap my hand now!  In celebration!  Ow!
• Spike’s clothes….he looks like a reject from Star Trek.

Beam me up, Dru

• I’m glad they brought back Oz for some closure, even though there are parts of this episode that I don’t really like.  It’s still nice that Oz is leaving, happy for Willow.
• Yay, aww. Willow brought Tara a candle cause bitchez love candles. 

And now...sex!

Zelda's Thoughts:

• Tara and Willow, I hate to break it to you, but cats are evil. Sorry guys. It's just a truth.
• Parking lot! Do a shot!
• THEY'RE HOLDING HAAAAAAAANDS.

• "Buffy doesn't make her quota? Bad Slayer!"
• How come Willow's acting like this is Tara's first time at a Scooby meeting? She's been going the last two episodes.
• Oz! It's Oz.
• How come Oz knew to come to Giles's apartment? Did he try the dorms first? Imma retcon he tried the dorms first. Because this seems like an odd first stop.
• Also he just opened that door without knocking. Rude. Giles really should lock his door. Anya told him that months ago. Giles, learn you nothing in your leisure time?
• Aly's eyes are huge. She has the hugest eyes.
• Aw Tara. Trying to give Willow space to figure things out, and to spare them both the awkwardness.
• Parking lot (again)! I'm getting liver poisoning over here.
• Hi Alpert crypt!
• Oho there is subtext to Buffy bridling at Riley judging Willow for dating a "dangerous" guy. I HEAR STRAINS OF ANGEL, DO YOU HEAR STRAINS OF ANGEL.
• These characters have the most ridiculous coats on this show.
• Willow's happiness for Oz, being able to keep his wolf down during a full moon. It's so sweet. But also it HURTS.
• It's so sad, you know. Oz achieved his goal - he can keep the wolf down during the full moon, through keeping calm (and herbs and chanting and charms and whatnot) but the horrible side effect, as we see later, is when he gets upset, really upset, the wolf can come out independent of the full moon. He's in control, and he's horribly not in control. He's become the metaphor for the abusive boyfriend (or ex-boyfriend) he never wanted to be.
• Poor Willow, this is so awkward. She wants to tell Oz what's new with her, but the most new thing with her, the most important, is Tara, and she can't tell him, because she doesn't feel ready to tell anyone yet.
• Oh poor Tara! The hurts! Her stutter's back. And Oz is friendly because he doesn't understand. "I saw you at Giles's yesterday!"
• He senses something is up, but he can't think what. So he moves on.
• Hey, Buffy's wearing the same black leather pants from Who Are You! Faith's back?

Hide your kids! Hide your Riley!

• Wouldn't it be easy for Buffy to just say "Werewolves aren't evil and are also human for most of the year so back off"? I wanna say I don't get this fight between her and Riley except that the fight is actually about Angel and she's afraid to tell him about Angel so fine okay whatever subtext wins out over actual text.
• Yay Willow came out to Buffy!
• Here's what I like - yes Buffy gets kind of freaked when Willow comes out, but as soon as Willow confronts her on it, she immediately gets over it. She loves Willow, and she's glad Willow confided in her. Best friendies!
• Look at Spike sleeping under a blanket in his crypt. In what looks like pretty direct sunlight.

The blanket has magical sun-blocking powers. And uh ...
he's wearing sunscreen?

• "No, it's okay. I always knew that if he came back - " sadface
• Taraaaaaaaa. She just wants to be supportive, knowing how confused Willow is, even as she's in so much confused pain herself.
• "Life was starting to get so good, again, and you're a big part of that."
• This is so painful. "Are you two involved? Because she never said anything to me, we talked all night."
• And then he starts to turn. "Run."
• The return of really bad werewolf makeup! They never did figure that one out in a satisfactory manner. At least this is our last werewolf of the series.
• And back on the pendulum Spike swings, joining Adam's side.
• "When it comes to the fighting, she does have a slight tendency to win."
• "They took Oz. I tried to tell them, but -" I have a stutter. #awkward
• Oh man, and when the wolf turns back to Oz and he's so small and naked and vulnerable, in a cage surrounded by giant commandos, in a giant facility.
• I mean, yay Riley is on team Don't Torture Oz, since he actually knows him, but it's still awkward and kind of reminiscent of homophobes suddenly not homophobing when it turns out they've known a gay person all along. But maybe we can count it as character growth. It's too hard to tell with Riley and character growth, what with MB being dull as a table lamp.
• "How'd you get in?" // "Door was unlocked. You might want to watch that." WASN'T I JUST SAYING THAT.
• They've gotta be desperate/not thinking straight to buy Spike's story that he suddenly remembers how to get back into the Initiative, since that was the only reason they were keeping him around in the first half of the season and he was exactly zero help to them.
• Yay Riley busting Oz out of prison. Okay fine, growth.
• Oz is so tiny next to Riley.
• "Slap my hand now! ... Ow." Her timing is so perfect.
• "Talk later, stealthy escape now."
• Aw, I actually find it quite sweet that they're hiding out in the old high school.
• "It was my fault. I upset you." This line hurts, it's too much like the mantra of people in abusive relationships.
• "I missed you, Oz. I wrote you so many letters, but I didn't have any place to send them, you know? I couldn't live like that." "It was stupid to think that you'd just be waiting." That at least is a better farewell than they had last time. I'm glad we got closure.
• "I was waiting. I feel like a part of me will always be waiting for you." I don't quite know what to do with this sentiment, because it certainly doesn't feel true in later seasons, that there's any part of her waiting for Oz, and (granted, it's been a while) I don't remember any sense of that closeness remaining when he returns in the comics. I really don't remember the comics though, so feel free to correct me.
• "You have to be with the person you love." // "I am." TWOO WUV. I wish I liked her more, I do. Because this is so freaking d'awwwwwwwwwww

Crossfire!

Willow: Let me just freshen up (grabs toiletry bag and leaves dorm room)

Z: There's a sink right there.

D: Yeah, but you don't wanna brush your teeth in front of people. I don't like brushing my teeth in front of people.

Z: (side-eyes D)

Favorite Lines:

Daniel: "I'll have the less confusing waffles right now." - Willow

Zelda: "Slap my hand now! ... Ow." - Anya

Arc/Continuity Stuff:

• Oz is back! It's Oz!
• First appearance of Colonel McNamara
• Recurring: Tara, Anya, Graham, Forrest, fucking Adam, the remains of Sunnydale High
• Shoutout to Devon
• Willow comes out to Buffy.
• Adam recruits Spike to his cause, promising to help remove his chip.
• Riley has officially left the Initiative.
• Buffy (off screen) tells Riley about her history with Angel (well, some of it)
• Oz's last non-dream appearance.

Stats:

Anya's Hair - short, straight, honey colored

Oz's Hair - red

Dead Humans - 1

Dead Undeads - 1

Giles Unconscious - 0

Giles Cleans His Glasses - 0

Buffy Breaks a Door - 0

Evil Reveal - 0

Unevil Reveal -  0

Shenanigans Called - 0

Apocalypse Called - 0

Oh, For a Different Phrasing

Episode 4.18: Where the Wild Things Are. Original Airdate 4.25.00

"Buffy and Riley's passionate lovemaking energizes supernatural elements inside a frat house."

Zelda's Thoughts:

• Ugh. Fine.
• Buffy, what are those pants.

Those pants are ... really shiny

• Parking lot! Do a shot!
• I do like that even this opening fight is arc-related though - the fact that a demon and a vampire are working together is part of Adam's grand plan of whatever.
• Sigh. This is the episode with all the Biley sex.
• I miss having Jonathan in the credits. Bring back those credits! This is a world without sunshine! A world without joy!
• MRS. LANDINGHAM IN THE CREDITS WHAT WHAT.
• So let me get this premise straight: this demonic repressed-sexual-energy force has always been in Riley's frat house? And the massive quantities of Biley sex just happened to awake it this time? Because I'm calling a big honking shenanigan on that. No way can you tell me a frat house, secret military base or otherwise, didn't always host massive amounts of sex. There's a stereotype for a reason.
• Poor Anya, assuming they're breaking up because they didn't have sex the night before.
• Why does Xander's ice cream truck have popcorn and cotton candy?
• Oho this time Tara's in pink.
• I like that Tara's been part of the Scooby meetings these past two episodes. Even though it's not an acknowledged relationship yet, it follows the pattern of central Scoobies' significant others joining the inner fold. And Tara's been in since she helped rescue Buffy from Faith's body (slash did that "Netherworld" spell with Willow)
• Thanks for the shot of Riley reaching into his drawer of condoms. Safe sex, kids!
• I really don't need all these sex shots.
• "Spike! What are you doing, you made me yell really high!"
• "I like my money the way it is - when it's mine."
• Aw, Anya and Spike bonding over their mutual powerlessness. Also how they miss killing people, so, you know, that's a thing.
• We never do get around to staking Dru, do we, Spike. We never do.
• Xander, stop flirting with the redhead. Just because you're in a fight doesn't mean you're not in a relationship. Step away from the redhead!
• Graham got a D in Covert Opps? How'd he get into the Initiative? Did he just meet the thickness of neck requirement?
• Orgasm wall, you are tiresome and awkward.
• Sadface, Tara calling Willow touching her disgusting. Go away, stupid spell! Stop gayhating!
• Haha Anya just brought Spike right into an Initiative party without warning him. He's so outraged.
• "You brought him here?" // "That's what I said! Only I hit the 'here' part." I love it.
• I like that Spike just gave up being nervous at the Initiative party and just sits there with a solo cup. "Hey buddy, you look familiar." "Yeah, I get that a lot." Spike badger don't care.
• I wonder if SMG was busy this week and that's why the episode is so Buffy-lite. Like, almost all her scenes are just her in bed with Riley. You could get that done in a day. [You could...D]
• Hey, an earthquake! Is an apocalypse nigh? Nah, it's just Lowell House freaking out.
• Random leather straps binding Spike to the chair. Sure, why not.
• Wait, how did Forrest yelling at Graham that they have to get people to safety transition to running away to the basement military base? Cowaaaaaaaaaard.
• Wow was I not paying attention to that Forrest/Graham/random Initiative scientist scene. Did I miss anything? Never mind, I don't care.
• Spike's offer to help - which he then talks himself out of - is actually a fair illustration of his current arc. He can't be who he was, and the Scoobies protect him, sort of - he's neither on the side of evil nor good, really, so he can go either way depending on his mood.
• GILES IS SINGING. I TOLD YOU EVERYTHING IS A MUSICAL.
• Also Giles has an earring.
• Stop freaking out about Giles singing, Xander. He sounds awesome. Dude has a CD and everything. Dude played Frankenfurter. Tony Head is the shit.
• Sigh more Biley.
• Mrs. Landingham! My favorite part of this episode.
• You are fucking creepy, Mrs. Landingham.
• Is the episode over yet?
• Nope, we still have to give Anya some really upsetting stigmatta.
• Emma Caulfield is really amazing as Anya, though, I feel like we should mention that. Even though I'm sure Daniel's already mentioned it.
• "If we grow old together, remind me to skip the midlife crisis." I LOVE THIS MOMENT BECAUSE HER FACE AS SHE SAYS OKAY BECAUSE SHE'S RECOGNIZING THAT HE'S IN FOR THE LONG HAUL.

Daniel's Thoughts:

• And she’s back to having the weird curly hair.
• And that’s one ugly sweater.

How can she even fight in this thing?  She must be so sweaty.

• I love Buffy’s smile as watches Riley fight.
• Yes, please, Riley – take that ugly sweater off of Buffy.
• I guess Faith’s question, “doesn’t slaying make you hungry and horny” has finally gotten an answer.
• The music is very haunting.
• Ok, so the idea is that Buffy & Riley’s constant sex is what brought the ghosts back which in return made them hornier right?  But the thing is…I mean this is a Frat House…with more than ideally masculine and fit guys…so you’d think this might have happened earlier.  What with all the sex that must happen in a frat house.  Or in college, in general. 
• That’s a huge bathroom for a frat house…and awfully pretty and….clean.  What with all the boys.
• Again, even though it’s sort of a one-off, this show finds a way to connect all the episodes in one long arc.  You know, like life.
• You’re not subtle, Riley & Buffy.
• That guy is not in college! He’s 40!
• “You made me yell really high!”
• I like when two characters that don’t normally talk, have scenes together.  I like Anya & Spike being friends and I think there’s a missed opportunity here.  It’s like that one time…in the near future where Anya & Tara have that one conversation one time.
• I love the way they constantly make fun of the intellectual college boys on this show.  Hey, it’s the guy from Beer Bad!  Being just as skeezy.

Same Douche, Different Episode

• Orgasm wall!
• Hey! Xander, stop flirting.  You have an Anya.  You’re a dick.
• That’s an ugly sweater, Forrest. IS THIS AN UGLY SWEATER PARTY?

I see your ugly sweater, Buffy, and I
one up you.

• Xander: “This is crazy, we just had fight.”  Is that why you’re flirting with Julie?  Dick.
• “We have nothing in common, besides both of us liking your penis.” 
• “Me too! Whoo hoo!”  
• Seriously, who is their housemother, Martha Stewart?
• I wonder how Sarah felt when she got this script… She’s basically having sex the entire episode.
• Pretty cool shot of the bed.  But…how can they be having sex with a sheet in between them…are they Jewish-orthodox? 

Also, they're like 2 feet away from each other.

• Oh man, that ghost girl running through Anya is freaking creepy.
• Does Bailey Chase just not like being on this show?  He always looks miserable.  Is that his acting technique?
• The reaction to Giles playing at the espresso pump is amazing, though Willow’s expression is a bit cartoonish.
• "Oh, for a different Phrasing!" Archer would be proud.

• It’s a really cool, layered concept – It’s not ghosts, but a manifestation of all the negative energy amassed over the years. I love haunting stories that find different takes.  Speaking of which, check out The Quiet Ones.

Crossfire(s)!

Shot of scoobies watching Giles sing:

Z: Wow, total LACK of expression from Tara. She's not even trying.

D: I think she's awed.

Z: She's blinking. She's just like "oh, are we looking at something?"

D: She says, "Does he do this a lot?"  She doesn't know any different. Also, I think Willow's reaction is actually the one out of place - it's over the top cartoonish.

Tara: Did any of them. Um. Die in there?

Z: (makes a disgusted face) What a TERRIBLE delivery.

D: I disagree! I have no trouble with her delivery.

Favorite Lines:

Zelda: "I know I'm not the first choice for heroics. And Buffy's tried to kill me more than once. And I don't fancy a single one of you at all. But ... actually, all that sounds pretty convincing." - Spike

Daniel:: “We have nothing in common, besides both of us liking your penis.” -Anya

Arc/Continuity Stuff:

• Recurring: Anya, Tara, Forrest, Graham, and - holy crap - one of the cavemen guys from Beer Bad - Roy, pontificating about language.
• Xander asks if every frathouse at UC Sunnydale is haunted - shoutout to Fear Itself

Stats:

Anya's Hair - short, curly, honey-colored

Xander's Job - Ice Cream Truck Driver

Dead Humans - 0

Dead Undeads - 2

Giles Unconscious - 0

Giles Cleans His Glasses - 0

Buffy Breaks a Door - 0

Evil Reveal - 1 (Genevieve Holt, aka Mrs. Landingham)

Unevil Reveal - 0

Shenanigans Called - 1

Apocalypse Called - 0

A World Without Shrimp

Episode 4.17: Superstar. Original Airdate 4.4.00


"Buffy senses that something is amiss when Jonathan becomes a hero to everyone in Sunnydale."

Daniel's Thoughts:

• Ok, first of all, I have to say that I love how life imitated art and Danny Strong (Jonathan) is super famous now.  Not that I’m saying he did a spell…
• Buffy still has that odd curly hair but it’s a bit better than last episode.
• Putting random scenes with Jonathan in the credits is amazing.
• Haha, that cereal – Johnny O’s!

• I don’t care what anyone says. This episode is hilarious!
• Extras with cameras!
• At times, this episode feels like it’s on an indoor set with an audience that should be laughing and saying “uh ohhh!”  - which I think is the point.
• Haha, I love that Willow & Tara are cutting out pictures of Jonathan.
• It’s nice that even though this is a one-off funny episode, they’re still getting in some continuity – especially with everything that happened in the last episode with Faith.
• Haha, The balls poster has been replaced with a Jonathan Poster.
• SHENANIGANS! OK, it’s nice that they remembered that Buffy had to pay for the coffee…but I hate  on TV, when people just reach into their pockets and throw money down without even looking at it.  How do they know it’s enough?  How does she know she didn't accidentally put down a hundred dollar bill?
• Even though all this is fake, it’s interesting that Jonathan is the one that finally learns how to kill Adam.
• Oh no! Karen with a K!
• What an odd looking demon.
• Nice music.  It must be old people night at the Bronze.
• So Willow and Tara are out in public together.  I’m assuming Tara’s met everyone…yet no one knows yet…interesting, since the only people they've invited into their inner-circle since the original crew have been significant others.  Also, when Oz found out - it was a secret...and then, BOOM, vampires.  With Tara...there was no scene, etc - not even an introduction to Xander.
• The only time I like Xander is when he reminds me of Bruce Campbell.  And when he’s watching Jonathan and Anya suggest sex and he agrees, he totally reminds me of Ash right there.
• Yes, Adam, we get it.  You’re special.
• Tara is always getting attacked in these dorms.  I think it’s about time she moved.
• Interesting that Buffy’s first question is, “What did this” and not “Who did this?’  After all, she is a girl in college found with scratches, cowering in a janitor closet.
• Aww, Anya is so awkward, I love it.
• The props department really went to town on this episode – it’s amazing.
• Anya’s explanation of alternate realities is truly truly awesome.
• They’re all really good at transitioning into this world.
• "“Blah, I wish there weren't any shrimp", you'd say"
• "We're all like his prawns"//"Or Prawns…"// "Stop with the shrimp!"  Hehehe.
• Oh man, the Jonathan swimsuit calendar.
• I like that Anya has so many lines in this episode… They're really starting to see how valuable she is.  Too bad she won't get her own episode until the final season...
• No matter what Jonathan does that’s wrong – he still has good intentions….and tries to fix it at the end.  We will revisit this in season six, when the show counters that.
• “And who really did star in the Matrix?” Heh.

Zelda's Thoughts:

• I'M SO EXCITED I LOVE THIS EPISODE.
• I love that you immediately see she's not at full Slayer capacity, looking daunted as she stakes a vampire.
• Parking lot! Do a shot!
• WHAT ARE YOU GUYS WEARING.

Anya, your wardrobe is acceptable. Buffy and Willow ... seriously, what.

• IT'S GOLDEN GLOBE AND EMMY WINNING DANNY STRONG.
• I love the Bond-esque lick to the music.
• Daniel and I can't get over all the shots of Jonathan being badass in the credits. It's just so fucking brilliant and interwoven.
• I seriously. I just. You guys. Danny fucking Strong. And this episode. And badass Jonathan walking with a billowing coat in slow motion.
• I like that part of his spell is not just that he's the best at everything and a celeb, but he's the leader of the Scoobies too. Because he knew about Buffy's heroic ways and he wanted to be in on that too.
• And he out-hacks Willow at computer hacking.
• And he out-chesses Giles at chess.
• Danny Strong is my hero. He's so damn awesome.
• And yes the paparazzi are waiting in the cemetery for Jonathan. Does that mean in this reality that vampires and slaying isn't a secret? How long after the spell breaks will people remember that? I feel like that's important for us to know.
• Aw it's so important to Super Jonathan to lift people up that he even vaildates Spike, by saying he's still dangerous. Then he threatens to make him instant soup mix. So, you know, what one hand giveth, one hand ... the other thing.
• DAMMIT WILLOW IS THAT A PINK SWEATER. Fine, it's salmon. I'm still counting it.

Pink sweater #13

• Aw Tara, asking about Buffy's fallout from Who Are You. That's a nice not-a-friend-yet.
• Riley's Balls poster has been replaced with a poster of Jonathan playing basket...balls.
• Riley you are so borinnnnnnnnnnnnng.
• "If they just put a little trust in me, I know I could get the job done." // "I've felt that way my entire life." No, Buffy, you haven't, it's a spellllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll.
• The set decoration really is fantastic. From the cereal box Daniel noticed, to the poster in Riley's room, to just random pictures of Jonathan in the background of the Espresso Pump.
• You know the other thing I love about this episode? Besides from how fully awesome it is? That, much like the stunt episodes like Hush or Once More With Feeling, it also really does advance the arcs. Jonathan helps Buffy and Riley recover from the fallout of Faith. And then he helps the Initiative (and us) by explaining more about how Adam works, information that will help Buffy destroy him - the uranium 235 core.
• Hey Karen with a K, that's totally stalker behavior, for the record. You don't deserve to get attacked by creepy long armed demon thing, but dude you shouldna been there.
• Oh hey, I guess the backyard of Jonathan's mansion is also the parking lot. Do another shot!
• Riley, you SUCK at this scene. Stop saying lines wrong!
• I like that in Jonathan universe, the music at the Bronze is more big band swing than rock. 
• Aw, like any good musical (shut up, my world is a musical), everything is solved with a song. See, Riley and Buffy made up!
• JESUS WILLOW YOU'RE WEARING ANOTHER PINK SWEATER. 

Honestly, if I'd known there would be so many, I would have just added
it as a stat. 20/20 hindsight is a bitch. Anyway, pink sweater #14

• SMG is totally standing on an apple box for this shot. That's why they only sway when they dance.

• It's cute that both Xander and Anya are turned on by Jonathan's trumpet skillz.
• Hey, it's a deeply stupid police officer!
• "It's not a demon, just a monster." Uhhhh ... what?
• Uh oh. Buffy's spidey sense is a-tingling!
• While I find it interesting that Adam is not susceptible to the Jonathan spell, his explanation is shenanigan-loaded. "I'm aware." Whatever, dude. If you were aware you'd know what a shitty Big Bad you are. 
• Pensive Jonathan is pensive.
• TAWIST he's got a scar that matches the "monster." We decided it didn't count as an Evil Reveal, since it was clear to us (though not the characters) that something shrimpy was up with him.
• Aw, it's time for Tara to be schmuck bait again. Poor Tara.
• Jesus that was unpleasant. Props to her for having the presence of mind to self defense with some magicks.
• I'm gonna go ahead and say that the Jonathan spell is hurting Buffy's fashion sense because this coat.

• "Xander's not here." // "Oh." // "You're not going away. Why aren't you going away."
• Emma is amaaaaaaazing in this scene.
• Jonathan comics, Jonathan playing cards, Jonathan stickers on the globe, Anya reading Jonathan's book.
• "Hey! I was just at the part where he invents the internet."
• "No, he's not! He's just perfect enough! He crushed the bones of the Master, he blew up a big snake made out of Mayor, and he coached the U.S. Women's Soccer Team to stunning World Cup victory! We saw him doing those things!"
• "blah, I wish there weren't any shrimp"
• "Giles, do you have a Jonathan swimsuit calendar?" // "...No. ... Yes."
• "Then I'll explain." Everyone settles in happily to hear his explanation. So cute.
• Alpert! Hi Alpert crypt!
• Yep, definitely Spike's crush has begun thanks to Faith. Look at him petting Buffy's hair.
• "Hey, what are you doing? You're not supposed to do that!" hehe
• I love the way Willow says "Buffy was right." Like she's trying out a new idea that had never occurred to her.
• Aw see Jonathan, since he's Super Jonathan, still has heroic instincts. "You're gonna have to handle this one solo. You'll know. You used to."
• Also I love this sequence in terms of Jonathan whiplashing between heroic postures to twitchy run-and-hides.
• "I'll always remember the way he made me feel about me."
• "Poor Xander. I guess Jonathan hurt you most of all."
• "Did anyone else feel way too tall? I felt way too tall." Accurate, Riley. Accurate.
• Aw Jonathan you look small and powerless again.
• "You weren't socks! You were friends."
• "You can't keep trying to make everything work out with one big gesture all at once. Things are complicated. They take time and work."
• "This cool thing I said, that I don't really remember, I think it's right."
• SMG is so pretttttttttty.

Favorite Lines:

Daniel: "Say you really like shrimp a lot. Or we could say you don't like shrimp at all. 'Blah, I wish there weren't any shrimp,' you would say to yourself." // "Stop, you're saying it wrong! I think that Jonathan may be doing something so that he's manipulating the world and we're all like his pawns." // "Or prawns." - Anya (and Buffy)
Zelda: "Xander, don't speak Latin in front of the books." - Giles

Arc/Continuity Stuff:

• Recurring: Anya, Tara, Jonathan, Graham
• Trivia! Jonathan's singing voice is provided by Brad Kane, aka Tucker Wells, aka Andrew's brother, aka THE SINGING VOICE OF ALADDIN SO JUST DEAL WITH THAT.
• Shoutout to the Class Protector Award in The Prom, except in this reality Buffy gave it to Jonathan.
• Shoutout to Anya's vengeance demon days
• Also a reference to making someone in love with William McKinley (isn't there a line about Mrs. Czolgosz?)
• Jonathan picked up his magical spelling ways in post-attempted-suicide therapy.

Stats:

Anya's Hair - short, curly, and honey colored

Dead Humans - 2

Dead Undeads - 5

Giles Unconscious - 0

Giles Cleans His Glasses - 0

Buffy Breaks a Door - 0

Jonathan Breaks a Window - 1

Evil Reveal - 0

Unevil Reveal -  0

Shenanigans Called - 2

Apocalypse Called - 0

Because it's Wrong

Episode 4.16: Who Are You? Original Airdate 2.29.00 

"Having switched bodies with Buffy, Faith enjoys freedom. Meanwhile, Buffy finds herself at the mercy of the Watcher's Council."

Zelda's Thoughts:

• Yay! We're back!
• Also yay! This episode is awesome.
• Hey it's the deeply stupid Sunnydale police!
• SMG is really pretty good at imitating Eliza's inflection. Even saying "mighta" instead of "might have." Her physicality and facial expressions aren't quite as consistent, but not bad.
• And then as Faith pretending to be Buffy. Wheeeeeeeee. The levelllllllllllllllllllsssssssss.

• I totally forgot about the long shot of Faith!Buffy luxuriating in the bathtub. As she caresses her own leg, she helps further the lesbian undertones of their relationship. ---->
• Aw Tara's self esteem. The knowledge that she's still a secret from the Scoobies.
• I really wish I liked AB more as an actress. I really really wish I did. I've been reading all these other Buffy blogs where everyone adores Tara, and I keep questioning my own dismissiveness of her. I keep having to look past AB's performance to embrace the Tara I know so many in the fandom love. This has always been a problem for me, even before I was an actress though. I remember deeply distrusting Fred Haise in the Apollo 13 movie and realizing years later it's because Bill Paxton is just not a good actor. /tangent
• "I am, you know." // "What?" // "Yours." Like, you GUYSSSSSSS
• Faith!Buffy wears leather, kinked-out CaveSlayer hair, and pushes up her boobs. Accurate.
• I take it back, her physicality is so much looser and more expansive than as Buffy. The way she rolls her hips, fans her legs whenever she gets up or down from furniture. She just takes up more space. SMG is rocking this. 
• "The Scooby gang's all here ... Willow, Xander, and [sees Anya] ... everybody."
• Wow she's even hit the aboats that Daniel's obsessed with.

• <----Anya what is your shirt.
• "I forgot how much you don't like Faith."
• I find it fascinating that Faith!Buffy covers for her desire to stab Willow by saying that she'd never let Faith hurt Willow. And she sounds like she means it. Protecting Willow from herself. The fractured parts of Faith being inside Buffy, the person she always envied, wanted to be and wanted vehemently not to be, whose life she wanted, whose life she now has, but she's forced to live inside the confines of who Buffy must be, at least while she's still in Sunnydale. I love love LOVE how many disparate elements are contained in almost every line when Faith is playing at Buffy. And of course it all comes to a beautiful head later when confronts the vampires in the church. But we'll get to that.
• Faith!Buffy, grinding on girls. Why be vague, show? Shout it from the rooftops!
• Spike sure is helpful with all the exposition he's giving Faith!Buffy.
• Oh man, JM is fantastic in this scene. So many different conflicting emotions he bounces through when Faith!Buffy plays him. Defensive, confused, turned on, angry, impotent, turned on.
• Do we think this was the first seed of his crush on Buffy? Because he looks pretty damn into this conversation. I'm going with yes.
• Hey that's a vampire of color! Way to be equal opportunity, Sunnydale!
• Ugh. Adam. You're so bad. You're just awful. Badly written, badly acted.
• Oh Buffy!Faith's conscious. Time to see how Eliza does at Buffyness.
• She's got the wide-eyed thing to emphasize points down. And the sort of vocal sound that preceded emphaticness. I don't know how to describe it. Sort of an "uh" vowel before the sentence.
• Willow and Tara holding haaaaaaaaaaands.
• It's interesting that Faith, who's remarkably un-self-aware about so much, immediately picks up on the relationship between Tara and Willow. Actual!Buffy didn't cotton on until Willow told her.
• This is our real clue it's not Buffy - she didn't pun while slaying!
• It's fascinating - one of the reasons Faith's always envied Buffy's life is the way people look at her, at her heroism. When the slaying victim thanks her, she doesn't know what to do with it, she's uncomfortable.
• So how did Faith!Buffy know where Riley lives? Just curious.
• Her face when she shows up in his room though. This is the revenge she was never able to extract with Angel.
• Props to Tara for realizing Buffy isn't Buffy (though she realized it through magical senses) when none of the Scoobies figured it out.
• "Passage to the nether-realm" so that's what they're calling it now?
•  It's sexy magic time in the wicca dormroom! Made even clearer by the transition from spell to Faith!Buffy and Riley, post coitus.
• "Who are you? What do you want from h-her?" It's such a fascinating way to phrase it. She recognizes the love isn't for her but she's still freaking out about it. She doesn't see love (or sex) as real but as a tool to manipulate and she's so defensive against that manipulation (see: her near-murder of Xander in S3). Even when the love isn't for her, for Faith, it's for the person whose body she's stolen. What does he want from Buffy, she asks. From the person she isn't but is playing at being. I freaking love it. There's so much in such a simple sentence.
• Adam to random vamp "You are here to be my first." Me: "Is this gonna be our third sex scene?"
• Hurry, Faith! It's 8:25! You'll be late for you 10am flight out of the Sunnydale International Airport!
• "I am not a killer! I am the Slayer. And you don't know the first thing about me." // "You really care what I think?" // "No. I don't care. God, I don't care."
• Wow, this is the first time Faith!Buffy's tried to actually dress as Buffy, wearing a pastel blue top over a blue and white floral skirt.

• "All right, I didn't know what you were going to say, but that doesn't make you any less crazy."
• The pinky thing to push her hair back - that's actually not a Buffy thing, but it's totally an SMG thing. I've seen her do it in so many interviews.

• "Actually, I beg you to stop."
• Shenanigans! The TVs in airports have CNN, not local news.
• Stop monologuing, random vampire. It won't end well for you.
• I love love love that Faith!Buffy realizes she still has a duty to do. She's Buffy, and all the many things that means to her. And - to the best of her knowledge - the real Buffy is in chains and en route to England. Someone has to stand against the vampires, and it falls to her.
• "I'm Buffy! I have to do this." It's just. So fucking much is in that line.
• Wow, she changed into pants between the airport and the church. Okay, whatever.
• "You're the Slayer." // "The one and only."
• omfg Giles you are my FAVORITE. Tiny TINY babies! Like seriously one of his best moments ever.
•  So many times different characters have said "Who are you?" this episode. We get it, show. That's the title.
• Uh oh. Buffy!Faith vs Faith!Buffy
• Man, when she's just smashing in her own face, calling her a disgusting murderous bitch. The self loathing is just heartbreaking.
• Daniel and I are still laughing like 12 year old boys at the Balls poster in Riley's room.
• "You slept with her." // "I slept with you."
• Faith's face, just dead and emotioness, as she rides the truck out of town. And it's sad because she still hasn't hit rock bottom, she's got farther to go, on her great Crossover Adventure and it will be awful and poor Faith and poor Wesley and just damn her story is sad and dark.
• But since we're not blogging about Angel, we're done with Faith for like three seasons. Bye Faith!

Daniel's Thoughts:

• And we start off exactly where we left off.
• Sarah is so good at being Faith!
• She’s got Faith’s mannerisms down pat.  I think this has to be my favorite Sarah performance.
• I’m convinced that she took season 3 discs and studied all of Eliza’s scenes. [You mean VHS? - Z]
• “You can’t do that.  It’s wrong!”  heh. 
• Tara: “They don’t even know I exist, right?”  I mean that could be manipulative and passive-aggressive but I don’t see that coming from Tara.  I think she’s really understanding of Willow’s journey.
• “I am you know.  Yours.”  Damn.  Just, damn.
• Why does Buffy have so much mail? I didn't have that much mail when I came home from college.
• FAITH-IN-BUFFY SAID ABOAT.  YES!
• The Faith-in-Buffy fantasy of killing Willow is kinda scary…
• It’s ok F-in-B – I kinda forgot about Adam too…
• “As soon as I get this chip out of my head-“  Yeah, way to exposition for Faith.
• Ok, I have to admit this F-in-B conversation with Spike is hilarious. 
• This guy kinda looks like a vamp version of Xander.  He’s also a wuss like Xander, too.
• I think Eliza does a decent job as Sarah/Buffy but I think Sarah does it a bit better.  I think part of the reason is that Eliza has a lot of natural mannerisms that are easier to imitate.
• Faith can’t be the first slayer that’s gone rogue.  I’d have loved to hear about others.
• Tara’s first time at the Bronze!
• Love this realization that F-in-B has.
• “Wicked obvious.”  BOSTON!
• When the vamp’s victim thanks F-in-B – it’s a really nice moment…because being in Buffy’s skin, she realizes some of the humbleness that comes along with being Buffy.  And then she runs off because she doesn't know what to do with it.
• Interesting that the only person who realizes that Buffy isn’t Buffy was someone who has never even met her before. I think it’s partly something to do with them all drifting apart this season.
• Hyena call back!
• Riley “My fantasies don’t involve a bunch of marines staring at me.”  
• Daniel: 

• Another humbling moment for Faith – sleeping with a respectable guy.
• The censors tell Joss, no gay stuff – Joss knows how to get by it!

I mean COME ON!

• Oh man, this is such a good episode…she can’t fathom that Riley is just a good guy who loves Buffy; that there’s no ulterior motive.
• Ugh.  Can we just skip the Adam parts?
• And it’s nice that F-in-B can tell Forrest exactly what Buffy always should have.
• Ok, this bit with Faith and Giles is the best that Eliza does as being Buffy. 
• “Who is president?” “You’re checking for Buffy, not a concussion.”
• Buffy’s hair looks terrible in this episode. CaveBuffy hair, as Zelda said above.
• “I can do three.” “Not alone.”  Umm…Riley, are you new?  Buffy can handle three vampires in her sleep.
• Hey! See how fast that vamp burned in the sun?  See Spike? SEE?
• Oh man, Buffy – I know it’s weird – but it’s not like he cheated on purpose.  I’m glad she doesn’t belabor it past her initial shock.
• Bye, Faith! See you on Angel!

Crossfire!

Z: [Riley] looks good in a suit.

D: Mhmm. He looks good out of a suit too.

Favorite Lines:

Z: It's all about Tony Head's delivery, so: 

D: Giles: "Who's president?" Buffy-in-Faith: "We're checking for Buffy, not a concussion."

Arc/Continuity Stuff:

• Recurring: Joyce, Fatih, Tara, fucking Adam, Tara's stutter, Forrest, and the Watchers' Council guys (Collins, Boone, and Weatherby)
• This is the first explicit acknowledgement that Tara's and Willow's relationship is romantic.
• Shoutout to The Pack and hyena possession!
• Also the most sexual the magic's been so we've decided this is when they consummate their relationship too. Because Willow totally orgasmed there.
• Riley tells Buffy he loves her for the first time. Except oops.
• Shoutouts to Ethan Rayne, Giles being a demon, Olivia, and Giles hooking up with Joyce
• Tara finally meets Buffy (in Faith's body)

Stats:

Anya's Hair - very short, honey-colored

Dead Humans - 0

Dead Undeads - 4

Giles Unconscious - 0

Giles Cleans His Glasses - 0

Buffy Breaks a Door - 1 (armored van door)

Evil Reveal - 0

Unevil Reveal -  0

Shenanigans Called - 1

Apocalypse Called - 0

What is this, summer hiatus?

Where is everyone?

Our darling readers, we're so sorry for our prolonged absence.

You see, Zelda moved into a new apartment and it had not one ghost but two! She managed to exorcise the evil controlling mother ghost, but decided to let the benevolent son ghost stick around, as he likes to help with household chores and he can reach the high up things like light fixtures, that tiny Zelda simply can't. Also that thing with the loofah.

Daniel, meanwhile, quit his job at Wolfram & Hart (Zelda misses him terribly, for the record), took his guitar and his evil hand, and drove off in a pickup truck for greener pastures. Rumor has it he joined some kind of heist team that Robin Hooded their way around Portland. Also he has a band? And much longer hair? We're not exactly sure.

Anyway, the good news is, our blog will be back next week with more exciting posts from Season Four! We can't wait to watch the bodyswitch episode this weekend.

See you soon!

Five What by Five What?

Episode 4.15: This Year's Girl. Original Airdate 2.22.00

"Faith awakens from her coma and seeks revenge against Buffy."

Daniel's Thoughts:

• Hey! Faith!  I’m glad they didn’t just forget abOAT her.  See what I did there?
• Little sis coming!  Foreshadowing!
• And I’m glad they brought the knife back because that’s the coolest knife ever.
• What the hell? What is Xander wear-  What are they both wearing?? 

• What’s with the hat, Willow?  Blossom called, she wants…  Oh God.  The wardrobe choices.
• No Anya this ep :(
• “He’s the terminator without the bashful charm.” Yeah, that pretty much sums up Adam.  With the Mayor, Spike and the Master, did they run out of charm to give the villains?
• Does no one care or notice that Xander just got electrocuted? Heh.  But also, aww.
• He has not one hair on that chest of his.  Riley has time to wax?  He can’t naturally be that way. 
• The Mayor!  Hey! It’s a wee snake! Symbolism! 
• This dream thing is so cool – Faith’s subconscious making her the victim and making Buffy this big bully type monster.
• Hey! Sound guy in the shot! How embarrassing!  
• So where is Anya really? I mean since no one knows where she lives....  Yep, still harping on that.
• Guns aren’t your friend, Buffy.  Might want to watch that.
• Ooh, Buffy telling Willow to use magic  - careful, again, Buffy.
• Also, where’s Giles?
• This nightmare sequence is so cool.  So I’m guessing Faith has a pretty similar nightmare over and over – as evidenced by her line, “It usually starts to rain aBOAT now.” – But this time, she defeated Buffy and woke up from her coma. 
• It’s not every person who can wake up from being in a coma for a year and start walking around – but then again, this is a slayer so no shenanigans there.
• It’s a good thing Faith’s victim was the same exact size as her.
• Riley wonders if they’re being watched…I wonder if that camera is still in his room.  There hasn’t been evidence of there being one in Buffy’s room – which is where they are now.
• It’s such a metaphor for being in the Army – don’t ask questions, follow orders – I assume that was the writers' point.
• Sneaky sneaky Faith.
• She’s like that latch-key kid on Christmas eve looking in on the happy family enjoying dinner and opening presents.
• Who called Buffy to tell her about Faith?  The council?  They don’t exactly seem to care about Buffy’s existence or protection.  The police?  Do they know enough about Faith to call Buffy? Especially at Giles’?  Did Joyce forward the call?  I’m not..convinced.
• "Who's Faith?" Haha.  Oh, Riley.
• Seriously, who designed Willow’s wardrobe?

This ... skirt ... what?

And what is going on in her shirt?? Who are these people and what
are they doing?

• It’s nice that they walked and ended the conversation exactly where Faith was standing.
• Looks like Faith found her own clothes.
• There were like 10 aBOATS in that sentence.  It’s like the writers purposefully put them in to her dialogue.
• It’s cool that Willow has told Tara about Faith – but it's still unclear how much has she told her about her life?
• Tara, fighting - Amazing:

• Does Xander still think he and Faith have a connection because they had sex that one time which meant absolutely nothing to Faith?
• Sorry, Spike – the writers just can’t remember that you’re still evil.
• Daniel: Hey look, another sweater vest.  Zelda: What is this, the Chandler Bing show?

• So this video was supposedly taken a year ago, but Harry Groener’s hair is a lot shorter. 
• “The fact that you called Faith a gal, proves you don’t know her.”  The fact that Riley uses the world gal is so totally cute.
• Hey! It’s Joyce!  We haven’t seen her in a while.
• I kinda love that Joyce has a lipstick called “harlot”.
• I like the fact that they didn’t just skate over the fact that Buffy hasn’t visited home in a while.  It’s a shame. I mean, it’s the same town…supposedly.
• But it’s also nice to see the old home set again.
• I don’t understand inside trees.  What? There’s one in the bedroom.
• It’s so rude to smoke inside someone’s house without their permission, council!
• That body switcher thing is kinda cool.
• “Are you sure you’re OK?” “Five by Five.”  OH NO!  

Zelda's Thoughts:

• dreeeeeeeeeeeamtime! I really love the tone of this - the sweet peacefulness of Buffy and Faith working together, never as in real life.
• ugh that knife. Faith still feels gutted by Buffy's betrayal.
• At least Faith's not a blonde such that we'd have to suspend disbelief about her hair not changing color during her months-long coma.
• HARRY GROENER IN THE CREDITS I'M SO EXCITED.
• Awwwwww I fucking love Harry Groener.
• Picnic with her daddy. So sweet and sad.
• I love that Buffy is this terrifying avenging monster in Faith's dreams, and Faith is sweet and vulnerable, no evil intentions. Faith is who she thinks she might have been, were it not for the Slayerness. Were it not for Buffy. Had she had Buffy's advantages. She blames her, on every level, for the life Faith could never have. It's really quite well sketched out, an earned mentality through Faith's entire arc on the series. It's sad, and it's perfect, and I can't wait.
• Aw Riley's back. I'm mostly happy because Buffy's happy.
• "Did they put a chip in your brain?" Xander's more right than he realizes.
• Parking lot! Do a shot!
• Buffy chased Faith into her grave. The metaphor ain't subtle but it's pretty good dream stuff. And faith claws her way out of death, leaving Buffy behind.
• GASP FAITH WOKE UP.
• Faith found the only hospital gown that completely closes in the back.
• Aw Faith. Now I'm sad the evil Mayor died too.
• "It's just the scarf part of me really."
• meh. I'm glad Riley is breaking free from military think, but he's still boriiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing
• How did Faith know where Giles lives?
• Faith's face as she watches through the window. Emotionless, but seeing everything. Not sure how to process what's she's seeing, or what she ought to feel about it.
• "That was the funnest coma ever."
• I like that Buffy, unlike Willow and Xander, who are cracking jokes and making their dislike of Faith very clear, is willing to give Faith a shot - she doesn't know what Faith's thinking now, how she's feeling. She's always seen Faith's potential to be better, because she understands more than they ever can, the burdens Faith carries.
• the chemistry, the tension sizzling between these two, it's so damn good
• "No such animal." Love that line so much.
• eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee Slayerfight!
• Parking lot (again)! Do a shot!
• Poor Tara's boobs. This dress is horrible for them.
• haha Spike acting like he's invested in helping them, just so he can find out how much trouble they're in. 

• Faith's boots were IN THE COP'S FLASHLIGHT BEAM. Sunnydale cops really are deeply stupid
• Aw man. The Mayor, he's in pain. "You're ... sleeping." It's interesting that, once he lost Faith (or faith?), he knew on some level Buffy would defeat him. He made this video because he knew she would probably outlive him. Especially interesting because you don't see any of that in the S3 finale. Maybe it's retcon, but I don't care. He's so fucking good, and I love their love for each other, even if they're evil.
• Joyce! We forgot all about her.
• Now I'm missing my mom. Maybe I should go home, in case Faith is bothering her, too.
• yesssssssssssssssss I'm so excited.
• Good subtle acting from Eliza, as Buffy-in-Faith, seeing Buffy's face and realizing what's happened, before Faith-in-Buffy knocks her out.
• yessssssssssssssssssss

Crossfire!

(Riley is shirtless)
Z: Enjoy it.

D: I'm takin' it all in. There is not one hair on his chest.

Z: His nipples are so pointy.

D: He's cold!

Favorite Lines:

Daniel: Tara "Five-by-Five?  Five what by five what?" Willow: "That's the thing! No one knows!"

Zelda: "Tell you what I'll do then. I'll head out, find this girl, tell her exactly where all of you are and then watch as she kills you. Can't anyone in your damned little Scooby club at least try to remember that I hate you all?" - Spike

Arc/Continuity Stuff:

• Recurring: Faith, Mayor Wilkins (!!), Forrest, Graham, Tara, Joyce
• Faith's first dream has a shoutout to Dawn - "little sis coming"
• Buffy refers to the Council, as set up for their appearance later to retrieve Faith

Stats:

Dead Humans - 0

Dead Undeads - 2

Giles Unconscious - 0

Giles Cleans His Glasses - 0

Buffy Breaks a Door - 1 (with Faith's help)

Buffy Breaks a Window - 1

Faith Breaks a Wall - 1

Evil Reveal - 0

Unevil Reveal - 0

Shenanigans Called - 0

Apocalypse Called - 0