PLEASE NOTE: THIS IS A SPOILER-RICH ZONE. If your diet requires you to dine on television spoiler-free ... good luck with that.


Tuesday, October 24, 2017

No, Veronica, There Is No Santa Claus

Episode 1.10: An Echolls Family Christmas. Original Airdate 12.14.04

"A holiday poker game at Logan's house gets nasty when Weevil's winnings disappear, leaving Veronica to determine the guilty party before Weevil finds his own way of getting the money back. Meanwhile, Keith helps Lynn Echolls find out who is sending threatening messages to her husband, Aaron, before their big Christmas party."

Zelda's Thoughts:

  • Ah yes, it's time for the weird discontinuity, where they aired this episode early and thus did not address the fallout until two episodes later. Because CHRISTMAS, YOU GUYS.
  • Speaking of, stores are already decorating for Christmas here in New York. In October. Maybe they're making a hybrid holiday season. Hallogivingmas. Like the turducken but tackier.
  • Awwww the Marses have the cutest tree. Merry Hallogivingmas, you guys!

  • Oh look, Logan was racist to Weevil AGAIN. Stop, Logan.
  • but WHAT the money box is EMPTY! Where are Weevil's winnings?
  • Logan and Duncan have matching boxers why.

  • Man, where are the menorahs? Neptune High's decorations are utterly failing at being secular
  • This is weird. Duncan showing full on agitation and emotion...
  • "See, there you go with that head tilt thing. You know, you think you're all badass, but whenever you need something, it's all *head tilt* heyyyy." Weevil is not wrong.
  • "I hear about a five thousand dollar card game played by idiots, I'm interested." srsly I love Weevil, you guys
  • Daniel found the one Hanukkah sign so I guess we're okay.
Did you find it?  It's below the clock
  • Logan. Stop. Being. Racist. Stop making me hate you.
  • Duncan rubbing his nose against the window while the boys ogle Mrs. Echolls. 
So attractive.
  • Veronica and Duncan in what is clearly the journalism classroom but no Mallory Dent.
  • I do like Duncan finally calling Logan out on his general jackassery. Logan's been making a few minor steps forward in being not-shitty, but with every racist comment he's taking leaps backward into loathsome.
  • omg that pumpkin carved to look like Aaron Echolls. I'm dying.
  • "Dude, what's up with that? That's like the tenth racist thing you've said." THANK YOU. Logan's really upped his ante (POKER PUN) with the racist comments this episode. I'm glad everyone's calling him out on it. I'd be even gladder if he'd fucking stop.
  • I'm waiting for the show to remind me why I love Logan (besides how amazing Jason Dohring is). Redemption Arc would be welcome any time now.
  • "Annoy, tiny blonde one, annoy like the wind." I'm so amazed Daniel doesn't use this on me all the time. [I WILL NOW - D] 
Ughhhh I love Veronica's purple jacket, can I steal it?
  • Second episode in a row of Veronica lusting after cute boys. Thanks, show. I'm enjoying the eye candy too.
  • I'm glad Sean ends up being the bad guy bc he's annoying me the most in the flashbacks, so I feel justified in my irritation.
  • Knowing the future, I guess it does make a little sense why Aaron is so unflapped about the death threats. It's not just the invulnerability of stardom, serial womanizer - it's also vestigial invulnerability from that time he spoilered spoiler. No one can kill him. No one can catch him.
  • Harry Hamlin is so great as Aaron Echolls. You can see the charm but also you can see the sleeze.
  • Shoutout to an unseen Mrs. Casablancas! Is this our Charisma Carpenter, or her predecessor?
  • "So, good news, bad news. The good news is, I know who stole the money. The bad news is, *I* know who stole the money." I love our Veronica.
  • "Do you even know how to play poker?" // "No ... dumb blonde look* but it must be really hard if all you guys play." I LOVE OUR VERONICA.
  • Heh, Veronica begins her Poirot scene by outing Duncan for faking being drunk. Then she explains Connor's drinking diuretic tea. Then she points out that Logan clearly ransacked the pool house, so he didn't do it. "So, do you want to hear how Sean did it?"
  • "Looks like an evil doer, smells like an evil doer."
  • I do love a good instrumental Carol of the Bells. Lovely underscoring of the Poirot scene.
  • "I was this close to being able to say the butler did it! But no, it was the butler's son."
  • And then Veronica does some Ricky Jay style fancy card handling and I love her even more.
  • I'm confused how exactly Logan and Duncan made up. When did Logan promise to amend his ways and stop being a racist douche? Did I miss that scene?
  • Gasp! Celeste Kane is the one who had Clarence Wiedman stalk Veronica and scare Lianne into leaving town. Once again, I'm liking Jake Kane? He genuinely seems like a less shitty human than Celeste.
  • Oops Aaron Echolls got totally stabbed. So, not invulnerable.
  • "No, Veronica, there is no Santa Claus."

Daniel's Thoughts:

  • It’s Christmas time in Neptune!
  • Hey! I missed Logan last ep.
  • Ok, it’s Logan, Duncan, Weevil – and two more people that we haven’t met. Interesting poker partners.  Ok, so one of them is a famous movie star.
  • Aww, they name checked Selma Blair.  How 2003 of them. (Also I love Selma Blair)
  • Weevil won with a pair of twos.  Which is way more realistic than most movies and TV shows that have the hero pulling out a royal flush narrowly beating 4 aces. 
  • Strip poker!  They all look good in boxer shorts.  Very strange that two of them have the same boxer shorts…
  • “Do they have a hot guy catalog?”
  • “I’d be the best rich person.”  - We all think so.
  • “You lie down with dogs, you’re gonna get fleas.”  Assholeish that Duncan assumes she means Weevil.  Awesome that she doesn’t.
  • Weevil’s gotta put on the tough act, but he knows he needs Veronica’s help.
  • It’s almost a flashback bottle episode.  This show likes flashbacks – but this one is kinda fun.  It’s a Christmas episode!
  • And now it’s Keith’s turn to have a case.  This episode, he’s greeted by Lynn Echolls.
  • OMG, I remember this one – the Aaron Echolls stalker.  Creepy.  Almost like Lisa Rinna’s lips.
  • Ugh, Logan’s racism is not getting any better.
  • Wow.  The Echolls’ tree.  This giant white monstrosity. White and Red is weird – it feels very 80s.  Very different than the Mars' warm Christmas tree.

  • I like that Connor calls Logan out on his racism.
  • Poor people tip better than rich people.  Without a doubt.
  • Christmastime in Southern California – like 90 degrees.
  • Enrico is such a good actor.  One facial expression says so much.  He’s so over the wealthy doing such mundane cliché things.
  • It’s important to note that Wallace has two hot dogs.  Because he’s a growing boy.  And because he doesn’t have much else going on.
  • “Do you even know how to play poker?”  “No, but it must be *really* hard if all you guys play it.”  Veronica Sarcasm Mars.
  • She’s my favorite fictional detective, seriously.
  • OK, she figured out that Duncan was fake-drinking – but why?  To look cool?
  • So Sean did it:  The motive? Being poor.  ….great?
  • Now it’s time for Keith to solve his case.
  • Duncan and Logan are both wearing sweatshirts in southern California because….winter.  It’s probably gone down to like 70 degrees.
  • Whoa.  Veronica confronting Jake Kane – bold.  I bet she didn’t even know she was going to do that.
  • Lynn Echolls brought fake snow to southern California.  That’s how I’d spend my money if I were rich.  Nicely done.


Harvey: And before me, you sat in your underwear in a fish tank at The Standard
Daniel: ...what?

Favorite Lines:

Zelda: Annoy, tiny blonde one, annoy like the wind. - Logan
Daniel: I'd be the best rich person. Seriously. I'd be the perfect combination of frivolous and sensible. - Veronica


Neptune Roll Call: Weevil, Duncan, Logan, Wallace
First Appearance: Sean Friedrich, Harvey Greenblatt (Aaron's agent)
Recurring: Felix Toombs, Lynn Echolls, Aaron Echolls, Celeste Kane, Jake Kane
Logan's Nicknames: Tiny Blonde One


Dead Humans - 0
Backup Sighting - 1 
Veronica Breaks In - 0
Veronica Tases Someone - 0
Mac Hacks - 0
Who's Your Daddy? - 0
Wallace Does Veronica a Favor - 1
Veronica Wants a Pony - 0
Logan Punches Someone - 0
Dick's Single Entendres - 0
Shenanigans Called - 0


  1. "Ughhhh I love Veronica's purple jacket, can I steal it?"
    Ok but then I'm stealing it from you.

    No word of a lie, I love this episode. It's probably one of my favourites. You guys are making me want to do a rewatch but I have so much stuff to watch right now and not enough time.

  2. I really wish I could get over Logan's racism. But I seriously think all of his redemption arc isn't good enough. (I still love him. But it isn't until the movie that I think he's grown enough to deserve Veronica.) Whatever, I have three seasons to convince you of this. :-)

    I always thought Duncan was fake-drinking to make his poker mates underestimate him, by now I think might be because of his epilepsy (alcohol can bring on seizures).


    1. Oh man, I hadn't even thought of that! And neither would Veronica, since she didn't know about it yet.