Fourteen Kids. Thirteen Criminals. One Priest.

Episode 4.02: Chino and the Man. Original Airdate 7.19.19.

“Veronica and Keith launch their investigation. Their involvement puts Police chief Langdon on edge. Penn goes public with his theory on who the bomber is. Meanwhile, local teen Matty Ross begins her own search for her father’s killer.”

Daniel's Thoughts:

• Wow, so Dick is a drug addict now and where did that come from?
• He’s trying to get heroin but some guy kills him instead.
• Psyche!  He’s an actor in a film…which I figured out as soon as his throat was slit.
• Veronica’s feeling guilty about turning down Logan’s proposal.
• Hey it’s JK Simmons!  Affiliated with Dick sr. somehow.  His right hand man.
• Dick’s date is apparently underage and JK Simmons catches that fact saving Dick  from statutory rape charges.
• He also appreciates Veronica’s quick wit and cleverness.  So we either like him or he’ll become a worthy adversary. I'm betting on the latter. (Or why not both?)
• El Despananana’s men are now in Neptune.
• The Dicks are chatting about Sr’s tattoo and JK Simmons is watching knowingly.
• Flashback: JK Simmons being as scary as his Oz character but he helps Dick Sr. from the inmates tattooing him.
• Wow, the nerds are being all weird and chauvinistic, surprising no one. But none of them even seem sad their friend blew up which seems pretty callous.
• The Cartel guys show up to interview the nerds right after the Mars’ leave.  Their interrogation tactics…are a little rougher than Veronica & Keith’s.
• One of the nerds thinks the bomb-suspect is a robotics nerd rival of Gabriel’s.
• JK Simmons reminds me a bit of Clarence Wiedman….but smarter maybe.
• I’m really thinking he might be a good adversary for Veronica.  We’ll see what happens.
• Back in Prison, Dick Sr. makes a deal with JK Simmons….but it turns out JK Simmons planned the whole attack. Ooooh. I knew there was something about him.
• The Chief of Police Dawnn Lewis is now interviewing the motel owner’s daughter.
• “Honky tonky” “heavy on the honky.”
• Lamb 2: dumber.
• Kirby’s back: And I love her talking in her real accent.
• Veronica loves her badassery and so do I.
• Pony sighting!  I swear this dog is played by the same dog actor who was in Downward Dog, a cute, one-season-wonder.  But the dog actor who plays Pony is not listed on imdb which I think is a doggone shame. [Get out. - Cary Grant]
• According to this, his name is Rocco and I am being Doggist.

• Veronica is weird because Logan is being so mature.  And I get it, even if it’s not completely rational. 
• Logan (and I) don’t really know what Veronica wants.  How exactly does she want him to react?
• He punches a wall and Veronica immediately jumps on him to have sex so….  V’s got some issues.
• I mean it’s kind of this thing in the movie where she left good-guy Piz to be with Logan because she felt that relationships need to have drama.  And now that Logan has matured, she’s missing that from him too. It’s a shame that people in TV shows, in this case, Veronica feel like they need that.
• Turns out Patton Oswalt the Pizza guy has delivered a lot of pizzas to the Mars’. 
• For a pizza guy, he has a really nice apartment – for a basement apartment.  Nice tall ceilings.
• Veronica’s kinda being a dick. But it’s because he had a nasty tweet about Keith.
• Turns out he’s also a bit of a conspiracies nut.  And has a group online that talks about murders.  He asks Veronica, “Do you think they’ll ever find Lilly Kane’s murderer?”  Ugh. 
• Hey!  JK Simmons stops by the Mars Office.
• So here’s JK Simmons’ definitely fake story about finding a woman he was with when he was arrested.
• Veronica makes the case that maybe she doesn’t want to be found – and JK Simmons concedes. 
• Tawny’s (the dead fiancée) family fight’s with the Maloofs over an engagement ring gone missing but it’s more than that of course.
• “I’m the honor student who beat up your bully”

• Veronica is waiting to interview Matty (the motel owner’s daughter) but she seems to have slipped away.  Good thing Veronica put a tracking device on her car.
• V ends up back at the closed hotel.  Matty is there.
• And then she’s not.  She gets away again.  Veronica is impressed.
• Veronica finds a business card for Alpha Jolly Amusements.  Veronica: “Oh no.” Me: “What’s Alpha Jolly Amusements?” Zelda: “I don’t know!”
• Oh…it’s a Fitzpatrick.  Liam.  And Matty comes to see him.  The plot thickens.
• Turns out they installed the vending machine that douche law student was banging on before the bomb exploded.
• Also turns out Matty is a bit of a sleuth.  She’s looking for the man who loaded that machine because there’s gum in it and THAT’S SUSPICIOUS.
• Veronica saves Matty by driving by at the right time and holding a gun on Liam.  Oh no!  Veronica has a gun! I hope it doesn’t get used.
• Veronica schools Matty on the dangers of the Fitzpatricks.  Fourteen kids.  Thirteen Criminals….one priest.
• Veronica feels for Matty…I don’t know if Kristen Bell has ever played a mom but she’d be a good one. (Oh yeah, there was that stupid bad moms movie…)
• Veronica Stop! You’re on speaker!
• Logan might get involved in the Tawny’s family/Maloofs feud.  And he does!  He kick’s some butt.  That military training has improved his skill.
• But also the big guy literally sits on Danny’s face. It’s kinda hilarious.
• Mean while Pizzaguy Patton Oswalt floats a theory about the bomb on national tv.  He says the bomb was meant for Tawny because they were trying to buy her off not to marry Danny.
• The Cartel guys may believe it too. AND THERE’S A HEAD.  And it’s the robotics kid omg!  These guys like overreacting.
• And Logan now has a new job as the head of the congressman’s solo security team.  Good for him.

Zelda’s Thoughts:

• I WONDER WHAT WILL HAPPEN THIS TIME.
• Gasp fires in trash cans. And … Dick. Without his bleachy surfer swoop of hair. How weird.
• Is that Josh Duhamel?

Ron Howard: It was Josh Duhamel.

• Dick is a junkie now? A heroin junkie? I … okay?
• Ah okay this isn’t real because no way is Dick a cop.
• Wow wow wow Dick is a murdered undercover cop in … some random film.
• JK SIMMONS MY MAN. WE GOT AN OSCAR WINNER IN THE HOUSE.
• He’s quietly observing and is clearly wiser than either Casablancas present.
• Heh and he axes Dick’s high school sidepiece before he gets himself in some statutory trouble.
• Alonzo: “Use English. We should try to blend in.” And get the show out of subtitling all their scenes.

• Oh look some random spoiled white boy being racist. So we throat punch him. That’s not the best way to blend in.
• Oho. We see in flashback that Big Dick met JK Simmons in prison. Looks like he’s been looking out for him since then.
• V and Keith interviewing the nerd crew to find out what they know about Gabriel’s movements.
• Ew this clumsy hitting on Veronica by the nerds ew.
• Welp, and as they leave, our two cartel friends arrive.
• Oh shit, clumsy flirting nerd gave up a random person’s name (a rival of Gabriel’s from robotics?) as the one who killed Gabriel. This strikes me as something that will end super not well.
• And they seem to have realized they maybe shouldn’t give the name of someone who may be innocent to two guys who strolled into their hotel room and beat one of them up with the butt of his gun.
• I notice these flashbacks with JK have that familiar green tint of yore.
• GASP the whole thing with JK rescuing Big Dick was staged in order to earn his loyalty I am so shocked SHOCKED I tell you, at the Slytherin on this one.
• There’s a mayor now. I guess we really are no longer in Sheriff/City Controller (or whatever it was Woody was running for) land of Neptune of old.
• “A pizza guy said that … about me?” Keith’s mock outrage
• OUR BEST FRIEND IS HERE HI NICOLE MALLOY.
• “I punched him because I couldn’t find my uzi.” And V smiles at her new best friend.
• “I am angry … all the time. And all of the work I’m doing with Jane is aimed at one thing: keeping my anger from destroying me.”
• Logan punches a cabinet, bloodying his hand – “Is that classic Logan enough for ya?” – and V grabs him in a passionate kiss that leads to some sex that seems more rough than loving.
• And Logan calls her out “that what you like … me losing control like that?” And he leave a number for a therapist for Veronica.
• Yeah, good, because this is not the LoVe I want … this is unhealthy and unhappy and V really does need to self-examine. Logan and Veronica loving (and lusting) each other isn’t enough to sustain a relationship if their communication is this broken, if they want each other to be who they can’t be.
• Hot damn, Patton the Pizza Guy is part of an online group that investigates cold cases. How will this play out?
• WOW WOW WOW and he says “Do you think they’ll ever figure out who murdered Lilly Kane” and just damn. A harsh reminder that Aaron wasn’t convicted. It still counts as a cold case if you look at it that way, which is awful.
• JK coming in to Mars Investigations! I don’t know why, but I’m excited—good actors, good smart characters.
• Oooh they did a feature on Veronica in Vanity Fair? That’s cool.
• He says he’s trying to track down a woman he was seeing before he was arrested … I DON’T BELIEVE IT. WHO IS HE TRYING TO TRACK DOWN.
• “You’re asking me to find a woman who, it seems to me, has made a choice to not include you in her life.” Good call, V.
• Though he’s playing the sad dog well. “I appreciate your directness.” // “Thanks. Most people don’t.”
• Wow Tawny Carr's (dead fiancee) family is kind of awful racist trash, so this is fun. And by fun I mean can this scene please end.
• And there seems to be a dispute about a missing engagement ring/family heirloom.
• V, up to her old tricks, putting a tracker on a car … fully observed by Matty inside the house she’s approaching, so I’m sure that’ll end well.
• Also, another I’m-in-denial-everything-is-fine nod to Keith’s memory problems.
• I swear to god, they are not allowed to take him away from us.
• The literal only spoiler I know about this season is something big happens that upset everyone and I’m terrified it’s about Keith.
• Daniel and I just paused for fifteen minutes to talk through the victims and possible theories. I really don’t think Gabriel was the target, but we have two cartel guys on the case anyway. But how could the bomber know who would be in the lobby, and who was supposed to be there? Only the motel dad was a guarantee to be present. But Pizza Patton and Matty were adjacent, and the brother of the congressman. Who was the real target? Will there be another bomb, if the real target survived?
• Wow, this girl really is slippery. Off she goes on the scooter.
• It must be unnerving, a motel on spring break, empty and silent.
• Hot damn, break into one room, sees a path of doors opening onto adjacent rooms as Matty runs far far away.
• What is Alpha Jolly Amusements and why are we concerned about it?
• Matty could have a future in espionage, all this crafty sneaking.
• NOOOOOO I DON’T WANT A FITZPATRICK I DON’T WANT IT. GIVE ME WEEVIL OR VINNIE VAN LOWE BUT DON’T THROW FITZPATRICKS AT ME AGAIN.
• Ah, she’s here because Alpha Jolly stocks the vending machine, and the last thing we saw was someone hitting the vending machine before the big boom happened. So maybe Matty’s working the angle that the Fitzpatricks planted the bomb.
• “Whoever filled in for our normal guy put gum in the machine. We don’t do gum. We’re a motel.”
• Apparently he had a mole. Did we see this mystery guy?
• Now, I won’t say Matty doesn’t need to work on her issues, because she has ‘em, but that anger and vengeance? That’s classic Veronica Mode.
• Ah, and she found … Mole Man … as she calls him
• And before Liam can smash V's window with a wrench, she pulls a gun on him. We’ve come a long way from V being suffocated in a bar.

• I'm also quietly wondering if the show got any flack for Veronica and her gun.
• “God, I hate that girl.” // “Which one?”
• Guys I’m so mad the Fitzpatricks are part of this.
• At least that stupid secret society that Jake Kane was head of hasn’t reared up … yet.
• V, re the Fitzpatricks: “Fourteen kids. Thirteen criminals. One priest.” YEAH, FATHER PATRICK FITZPATRICK, THE WORST NAMED PRIEST EVER.
• “What am I supposed to do? Sit at home? Grieve?” // “You could tell the police your theory. You could tell me.”
• You can see why V will care for this kid. She’s so much like V was. “I thought if I could solve the case quickly enough, she wouldn’t have enough time to set and harden.” Ouch.
• Call that therapist, V.
• Holy shit, the Carr assholes showed up and are suffocating the Maloof men.
• These two guys wanna mess with Logan now but um. He’s all navy trained and ripped.
• Holy shit, he wrecked them. I wonder if Jason Dohring asked if he could do some stunts this season or …
• Wowww Pizza Patton is full on conspiracy theorist, on TV saying the bomb was in the makeup bag, and that Congressman Maloof tried to kill Tawny Carr.
• So we have two theories so far on where the bomb was: the vending machine or the makeup bag. We also have the mystery of the missing ring, and if that's actually connected.
• WHAT THE FUCK THEY CUT OFF ROBOTICS GUY’S HEAD OMG.

• I can’t stop scream-laugh-screaming but SERIOUSLY WOW these guys need to DO RESEARCH BEFORE THEY GO BEHEADING WILLY NILLY
• And now they’re gonna go after the Congressman? On exactly as little heresay evidence as before
• And now Logan is Congressman Maloof’s security detail, so that’s gonna be super fun.

Crossfire!

Camera: *reveals Liam Fitzpatrick*

Z: AW, GODDAMMIT.

D: Is he a Fitzpatrick?

Z: Yeah.

D: AW, GODDAMMIT.

Favorite Lines:

Daniel: Logan: “Don’t worry, I got the check.” Veronica: “I didn’t want you to murder anyone for it.”

Zelda: Liam: "God, I hate that girl." Mole Man: "Which one?"

Arc/Continuity:

First Appearance: Clyde Pickett, Tayler Carr, Tyler Carr, Perry Walsh (Mole Man)

Recurring:  Alonzo Lozano, Dodie Mendoza, Daniel Maloof, Dick Casablancas, Nicole Malloy, Marcia Langdon, Penn Epner, Richard Casablancas, Matty Ross, Amalia Maloof, Simon, Liam Fitzpatrick, Loyd, Craig, Andy, Bob Sargent

Already Famous Person: J.K. Simmons, Josh Duhamel

Generally Known TV Face: Lauren Stamile

Stats:

Dead Humans - 1

Pony Sighting - 1

Veronica Breaks In - 1

Veronica Tases Someone - 0

Mac Hacks - 0

Who's Your Daddy? - 0

Wallace Does Veronica a Favor - 0

Logan Does Veronica a Favor - 1

Veronica Wants a Pony - 0

Logan Punches Someone - 1

Dick's Single Entendres - 0

Veronica’s Single Entendres - 1 (“You know what they say about small packages.” “That you’ve got one?”)

Shenanigans Called - 0

VERONICA WAS RIGHT - 0

VERONICA WAS WRONG - 0