There Are Not Evil Evil Things?

Episode 1.15: The Prodigal. Original Airdate: 2.22.20

“Angel seeks to solve a mystery involving Kate’s father after a normally peaceful demon attacks a delivery man on the subway.”

Daniel’s Thoughts:

• We start in ye olden times: 1753.  Ireland.
• Oh no.  Angel’s gonna have a terrible accent.
• Trick!  We think lurky Angel is sticking to the shadows because he can’t go into the sun, being a vampire at all.  BUT he’s not yet!  He’s just a drunk!
•  And we meet his dad and someone named Anna – I think she’s their servant.
• There’s a subway in LA? 
• Hey, It’s Kate! She’s here from the beginning instead of just being at the end of an episode.
• Ooh, Julie Benz is guest starring in this episode!
• Stuff happens with Kate and honestly it’s kinda repetitive and boring me so bring on Darla.
• Yay! It’s Darla! 
• “Tell me something you don’t know that I don’t know.” – Cordelia
• The demon in the old ancient book is wearing the same exact thing as she was in the subway station, rags around the head, included.
• “There are not evil evil things?”  Angel: DUH.
• I understand there always needs to be time in supernatural shows/movies for non-supernatural characters to adjust to the idea that there are supernatural things – but for some reason, the way Kate is handling it annoys me.  I’ve always been appreciative the way Oz found out: “No, that actually makes a lot of sense.”  You’re on a supernatural show.  Get over it.
• Oh no.  The guy who pulled the emergency break is having some dealings with Kate’s dad.  Rut roh.
• Oh man, his accent keeps slipping into American.  I really wish they just made him a colonial or something.  Or Spanish? Can David do a Spanish accent?
• And here we see how Darla sired Angel. With breast blood.

• “It’s not a Mexican name, is it? Angel?” Yikes. “Is he married?” “No.” “West Hollywood?”   Wow.  Kate’s dad is racist and homophobic in one breath.  What a guy. I sure hope he doesn't get killed by a vampire later.
• Oh wow...Wesley is doing an autopsy? Kinda?  He has parts of the demon.  Where’s the rest?
• Oh hey, Cordelia is in a really bad blond wig.  Ah, she was tailing a subject.  The train/delivery guy
• Suited guy – could be a Wolfram or Hart?
• Funeral. The tombstone says he’s 26.  Really? David is about 31 in this episode so I guess it’s not that far off.
• Angel crawls out of his grave. 
• Angel’s first kill is someone who works in a cemetery.
• Demons are all attacking.  They look like Night of the living dead.  They’re all wearing the same homeless clothes.   But hey, at least the security alarm is now working.
• So Angel got his name from his sister (me too!).  Different…circumstances, of course… 
• It’s also strange that Angel continues to go by this nickname after he gets his soul back – considering the way he got it.  I guess it sorta makes sense – Angel is a self-punishing brooder.
• Lots of death in this episode.  Now, Kate’s dad.  *shrug*  Another homophobic, racist, sexist, terrible father.  Am I supposed to be sad?
•  Kate the vampire slayer!
• “My father was human.”  Your father was an evil non-evil thing.

Zelda’s Thoughts:

• Oh look, it’s Angel! In! Flashback!
• Oh no, oh no it’s Liam and His Irish “Accent.”
• Oh right, this is the fakeout where he’s hiding in the shade and you think he’s a vamp predatoring on the servant, but naw he’s just hungover and still very human.
• Hi Angel’s dad.
• “Everyone gets corrupted” says Liam. I think we’ve found our motif.
• And then we flashforward from one Angel wiping blood from his lip to another Angel wiping blood from his lip, but present Angel fighty fights.
• It’s Kate! Hi Kate!
• Oop and the demon Angel was fighting suddenly seems to have a heart attack and die.
• Kate, acting like she’s already on whatever cop show she left Angel for, with her quipping over a dead body, “I guess I can forget about reading him his rights.” Law & Order? Was it a Law & Order or a CSI? [Law & Order: CSI Unit- NCIS]
• Oh right, Kate hasn’t gone full Mulder yet and is mad at Angel every time something demony is afoot. At least we didn’t call her last ep til after the demon was expelled from the kid?
• Oh look, Kate’s shitty father is here. Aw man, and Kate is so desperate for approval that “You look like you’re doing okay” is high praise I guess.
• Y’alll, Elizabeth Rohm has the prettiest eyes.

• But Kate has firmly shut the door on anything even resembling friendship with Angel.
• Ah, here we see that Darla spotted Liam brawling in a tavern in advance of her siring him. She really did choose that idiot lummox to live through the centuries with her.
• (Also! Darla! Darla! Darla is here!)
• The drawing of the Kwaini demon is as sketchy as that Blue Circle delivery dude’s vague description.

"Average height, average weight, average build."

• But anyway Wes is here to tell us that Kwaini aren’t violent or feral. So why was this happening? We have our mystery of the week!
• “Ever since she ran me through with a 2x4, things have been different.” If I had a nickel …
• Ah right, Blue Circle had to be important or they wouldn’t have given him lines. He’s a mule for … something ... and he’s collecting it from Kate’s Shitty Shitty Father.
• Wow, we see that he actually cares a tiny bit about Kate—when Angel says he’s a friend of hers, he asks, with a small tremor in his voice, if she’s been hurt.
• Aw dang, he was at the crime scene to abscond with some evidence.
• Heh, are we supposed to believe Liam cared about his mom and sister? Sure, whatever. He’s claiming he’s a dutiful son to his father—in wow, a bad accent—as if he’s not frequently drunk and brawling, and I just … there’s so little character consistency even in flashback.
• I do like the one moment of his father saying, surprised and hurt, “I was never in your way, boy.”
• Get it, guys? This is about fathers and children and insuperable barriers of understanding and disappointing each other and also some archival footage from “Becoming” from Buffy and wow I kind of forgot they smashed Angel’s face onto Darla’s boobs when he’s turned this was a teen show.
• “That ain’t a Mexican name, is it? Angel?” In case we considered liking Kate’s Shitty Father briefly, we have a racism.
• Ugh, Kate’s Shitty Father is having lunch with Kate and she thinks it’s because he’s looking out for her and taking an interest in her life, but it’s actually him getting info on Angel, since he knows Angel is onto him and HE IS JUST THE WORST.
• SHENANIGANS! Why did Wesley call it a vivisection? Those are done on live creatures. This here’s a dissection.
• Anyway, Wes has found out the Kwaini demon was high on Macbeth-influenced demon drugs. PCP/eye of newt.
• Wow the badly cut bangs on Cordy’s blond bob wig disguise. It looks like she got a quarantine haircut!

I cut them myself!

• Kate’s Shitty Father is part of a larger distribution of evil … something … are these two suit randos from W&H? Are we meant to assume that?
• Oh nah the suits are working for a big beefy demon bro. “Someone get me an adrenal gland!” Again, if I had a nickel …
• And flashback to Liam’s funeral.
• At least Darla’s flashback wig is a stunner.
• Vampires don’t breathe … except when every exhale from Angelus and Darla is visible because I guess it was cold the night they filmed.

That's not nighttime fog between them. That's the two of them being bad
at social distancing.

• Darla says he can take anyone in the village. Angelus replies that he’d rather take the village. A nice reminder of just how monstrous he was.
• We also have the running motif of Cordy trying to set up a functional security system for the office, and how it keeps failing, and I assume we’re also working in metaphor land with Kate and her emotional walls, and probably also something to do with Liam/Angelus and his father, and how he slaughters his whole family.
• Oh hey. That means DB played three “different” characters this episode: Liam, Angelus, Angel.
• Oops, the security system is alerting them to the DEMON ATTACK. Angel distracts them with that good good demon drug … I guess.
• So I feel like Angel told us once that the first thing he did was slaughter his family, but this flashback makes it clear that he rained havoc on the town before coming home, getting invited in by his sister, and then, you know, slaughter.
• So I guess what we’re supposed to take from the Kate’s Shitty Father plot is that he did all this to leave her a nest egg when he dies. Ugh, whatever, he’s still awful.
• Oh the two suits are vamps. And Angel has to just stand there, stuck outside the door, as they kill Kate’s Shitty Father. A bit of an emotional callback to Giles watching Cordelia die in “The Wish”?
• Ugh, poor Kate, though. She just falls apart.
• They’re giving good weight to Kate’s grief, even if it’s for such a shit of a father. He was all she had.
• Hot damn, Kate staked a vamp. Good for her.
• Big ol fighty time.
• “I know that what happened with your father –” // “My father was human. And you don’t know anything about that.” Hey, anyone remember the time in Angel S5 when Wes has his showdown with his father and literally everyone is awful and tonedeaf and Angel’s like “hey I totally killed my dad once, it’s no big,” and like.
• Darla taunts Angelus that his victory over his father took only a few moments, but he will always hang over him, never granting his approval. Angelus asks if the slaughter of his family is the work of love. I guess this is when Angelus decided his love language was destroying everyone who matters to the object of his fixation? Thinking of his future grooming of Drusilla, and the way he drew portraits of Joyce sleeping to taunt Buffy.
• Oh man, my memory is shot. I thought this was the episode that had the big Kate rock bottom moment. Still to come, I guess.

Favorite Lines:

Daniel: “What we once were informs all that we have become. The same love will infect our hearts – even if they no longer beat.  Simple death won’t change that.” -Darla

Zelda: “Ever since she ran me through with a 2x4, things have been different” – Angel

Arc/Continuity:

First Appearance: Darla

Recurring: Detective Kate Lockley, Trevor “Kate’s Shitty Father” Lockley, Angel's Irish accent

Future Famous Person: Christina Hendricks
Generally Known TV Face: Julie Benz, J. Kenneth Campbell

Buffy Crossover: Darla

Whedonverse Hat Trick: Julie Benz (Darla. She’s Darla, y’all), Bob Fimiani (first of two roles on Angel, Elder Gommen on Firefly, Mr. Ward on Buffy), Christina Hendricks (Bar Maid on Angel, Saffron/Bridget/Yolanda (spoilers?) on Firefly), Mark Ginther (first of two roles on Angel, Horned Demon on Buffy), John Patrick Clerkin (Black Robed Priest on Angel, Man on Buffy).

Angel! In! History!

We see more of Angelus’s origin story, how he turned from Liam to Angelus.

Stats:

Cordelia’s Hair – parted in the middle, loose ringlets; also a blond bob wig, a la Pretty Woman

Dead Humans – 1

Dead Undeads – 7

Dead Flashbacks – 5 (+ a village}

Dead Lawyers – 0

Cordelia Has a Vision – 0

Wesley Prat-falls –0

Lawyered Ex Machina – 0

Evil Reveal – 0

Unevil Reveal – 0

Shenanigans Called – 1

Apocalypse Called – 0

Prophecy Called – 0

Sorry About the Possession and Everything

Episode 1.14: I’ve Got You Under My Skin. Original Airdate: 2.15.20

“Angel and Wesley perform an exorcism on a young boy possessed by a demon.”

Zelda’s Thoughts:

• Ooops Wes isn’t the scholar we thought—not realizing that Kek demons are extinct, but it’s okay because Angel knows everything about everything except when sometimes he knows nothing and who needs character consistency blah blah anyway Cordelia made brownies.
• Why is she cutting the brownies from the middle of the pan? What kind of monster is she?
• Ooop all this bickering about cutting brownies with antique knives was to achieve Angel breaking up the fight with “Cordelia, Doyle” and then everyone feels awful.
• From this bicker we cut to two blond kids bickerbickering.
• And NONblond Dad (so we suspect him? I dunno. It’s not subtle casting) comes in and sends them to bed, and the rest of the blond family is uncomfortable.
• And then they padlock the doors to both children’s rooms.
• So we think we’re being set up with an abusive parent narrative, but stick around, kids.
• Cordy: “Pretend to read any good books lately?” Wow, she is calling Quarantine!Zelda out.
• I appreciate that she’s talking to Angel, letting him know he’s allowed to grieve Doyle, and speak that grief to her. A+ empathy giving. “I miss him.” // “Me too.” Angel blames himself for letting Doyle die.
• Oh man, the little boy goes into the street and is almost hit by a car.
• Wow, and that car just keeps driving, what a shit.
• Mom is gracious and grateful, Dad is awkward and reserved, not wanting to let Angel into their world.
• Wesley’s having an old fashioned Mars-snoop, going through the trash bin, poking around the house, and finding—gasp! —yellow goop!
• Ew, Dad is smoking inside the house? I get it as a power play against Angel, but don’t do that in a house with kids. Come on, bro. [It's the 80's - D] [It was in fact, not the 80s - Narrator]
• Oh lawd, Mom collects angel figurines. Hey, remember in that stupid BtVS ep “Him,” when the letterman jacket house had a bunch of angel figurines and Spike turned them away from facing him and that was like the one thing he did all episode anyway Wesley thinks someone in the house is possessed by a demon, how’s your quarantine brain focus?
• “A father doesn’t have to be possessed to terrorize his children. He just has to—” Woof, beginning of our insight into Wes.
• And Angel has spiked the brownies with something to bring out the Ethros demon in whoever might be possessed.
• Angel’s continuing character inconsistency—he has good rapport with the kids now. He’s neither biting nor avoiding.
• After Ryan’s demon manifests, everyone shows a different side: the sister Stephanie says “Ryan’s always been bad,” the mom turns protective of Ryan and angry at Angel, and the dad shows reasonableness and asks for Angel’s help in saving his son.
• “For the last three years, it’s been all I can do to hold this family together. Now you come here and tell me there may be a reason for all the terror and confusion, and a way to end it? Maybe you are an angel.”
• “Hi I’m Cordelia, sorry about the possession and everything.” No wonder they wrote in Anya on Buffy. They were sorely missing this energy when Cordy left.
• How come the random nun can tell Angel is a vampire? Like seriously how. She doesn’t have enhanced nunny sense of smell or anything. She looks at him, looking vaguely constipated, and just knows.
• Angel’s trying to talk Wesley out of performing the exorcism ritual since the priest they wanted is super dead, but Wesley, who is showing better strength and self-confidence this episode, tosses a crucifix at Angel and tells him to do it. That’s my boy. [Ahem.  Head boy. - Wesley]
• So (knowing spoilers), the Ethros demon wants out of Ryan because the kid is such a void … so why is he still doing mean demony things like locking the elevator, locking the mom in the room, and then throttling her? The kid wouldn’t have the power to do that on his own, would he? I guess I’m a bit confused but whatever I’ll go with it.
• Too bad Angel doesn’t have an Ethros box lying around. Remember when Giles had the whatsit for Angel’s soul, using it as a paperweight?
• Ah, time for the demon/Ryan to start needling Wesley. Starting with criticizing his Latin, slipping into his getting fired from the Watcher’s Council, but soon we’re gonna bring up his abusive father trauma.
• Oh man, “Tell him how you plan to kill him.”
• Annnnnd Wesley’s been stabbed in the neck by the crucifix.
• Danngggg the marbles now spell SAVE ME.
• Fuuuuuck, Ryan/demon channels Doyle’s voice saying his last words to Angel, “The good fight, yeah?” I’ll admit it, I got chills.
• Oops the Ethros demon shattered the box they got to contain it … but also doesn’t seem to be possessing anyone else? How did … what …
• Angel figured out where it went a little too easily and quickly but I guess we had to get to the next story beat as quickly as possible.
• “I know you’re not planning to kill me, Wesley. But you’re willing to, and that’s good.” I actually flipping love this moment. I love the character revelation we get about both of them from it, the mutual trust and respect, the belief in each other’s integrity and dedication to the good fight.
• Oh cool the Ethros demon got himself a hoodie.

• “You didn’t get that boy’s soul.” // “What soul?” And now we see the kid is still kind of awful. “No conscience, no fear, no humanity, just a black void. I couldn’t control him. I couldn’t get out. I never even manifested until you brought me forth.”
• The marbles asking to be saved was the demon trying to escape. He’s also the reason the kid walked in front of the car.
• Ah, I see, the father smoked solely so that Ryan could easily steal matches. Shit, he stuck a doorstop under the parents’ bedroom door, trapping them inside. And now he’s got a can of gasoline. Hey, anyone remember The Bad Seed? He’s like that but less cutesy and fewer plaits.
• God, this poor family.
• Angel to the rescue!
• But what to do about Ryan?
• Oh look Detective Kate has him in the back of a police car. Wow, that’s … they brought her in for basically an under five part.
• And the family, what’s left of it, will try to recover.

Daniel’s Thoughts:

• Ok.  Wesley is showing Angel his special knife.  I wish that was a euphemism.
• Cordelia is making brownies!  Is she in quarantine?

What a funny joke I just made.

• Haha, Cordelia is using the demon-killing knife to cut her brownies.
• Aww, Cordelia & Wesley are fighting like two annoying kids & Angel mistakenly calls Wesley Doyle and it’s very sweet and sad.
• I’m glad they don’t just forget about Doyle.
• Speaking of two annoying kids fighting.  Real annoying kids! Fighting!
• Ominous dad is ominous but I’m pretty sure it’s a trick.
• Mom & Dad lock the kids in.  Ooh, ominous.
• LOL, I really thought Elisabeth Rohm was in fewer episodes. She’s in more than I thought. I’m surprised every time I see her name.
• I also wonder if this is the last episode where they mention Doyle. [No, they bring him up several times in the final season. - Z]
• We should have had a stat every time Cordelia says something like “It Hurts” & people think she’s talking about what they’re having a conversation about and then it turns out she’s talking about her visions.
• Angel suspects ominous dad of something but we know better.
• *jump scare* Wesley is looking through trash, talking doll makes him jump.  (and me)
• ANGEL JONES
• Glowy stuff.  They call it “Plakiticine.”  I’m calling it “Glowy Stuff” [I'll allow it. - Senor Ben Chang]
• “Someone in that house is possessed by a demon” FOCUS IN ON CREEPY GIRL.
• Wesley: “The first step in confronting the demon is getting it to show himself”  Me:

SHOW YOURSELF

• Cordelia: “And What?  Head spins around?”  Sure. One might even say..  Full on exorcist twist
• Aww, Angel brought brownies. Hopefully Cordelia didn’t bake them.
• Did Angel eat the roast?  He doesn’t eat?
• EVERYONE ELSE EATS THE BROWNIES. LET'S PLAY: WHO’S POSSESSED?
• “I use chocolate. That’s why they’re brown.” How…did he get invited to a dinner party?
• DAD CHOKES.  IT'S A TRICK.  CAUSE IT’S THE SON.
• Mom is mad, now but Dad is coming around.  He was wary but now that he knows Angel can help, he’s willing to take all the help he can get.
• I hate that they’re looking for a priest.  It seems too based in Christian myth for this show.  I know crosses are a big thing for Buffy & Angel – but they tend to keep actual religion out of it for the most part. The new Netflix series Dracula explores the background of why crosses work in an interesting way. [Yeah, is this our first non-vampire demon who doesn't like a crucifix? - Z]
• Angel’s in a church without catching on fire.  So that’s a good first step.
• The Nun knows, though.  The nun always knows.  Wait, that’s the nose.  The nose always knows.  I want a brownie now.
• Wesley uses “Buns of Steel” lol.
• This tension filled music while Wesley and Angel are deciding whether or not to perform the exorcism or not.
• RICK’S MAGIC AND STUFF.  I bet it’s no Magic Box.
• The demon is tormenting Wesley by skimming his mind a bit.  But I can’t  always understand what he’s saying in his demon voice.
• “Tell him how you plan to kill him” “That’s not true”  Ooh, foreshadowing wayyy in advance.
• “Doyle asked why you couldn’t protect him”.  Ooh, that’s cold.
• The demon jumps out but it breaks the box.  So who is it going to jump into?
• “Uh oh.” – Understated response from Cordy.
• Putrescent.  I freaking love that word. I think I first heard it in The Princess Bride. 

• “You didn’t get that boy’s soul.” “What soul?” Whaaaaaa?
• I remember loving that twist when I first saw that episode.  I still do.
• Angel realizes that the marbles spelling out “Save Me” was the demon.  That shoulda been his biggest clue.  How would the boy have done that?
• It is interesting though – a human without a soul.  How did that happen?  Was he born without one?  It would have been something cool to explore.
• Oh, hey….there’s Elisabeth Rohm.  Weird to just have her in the ending.
• “I wanted to protect him.” – Shit, everything’s making me teary lately.
• I would have loved to see a follow-up of this episode but alas.

Favorite Lines:

Zelda: “I know you’re not planning to kill me, Wesley. But you’re willing to, and that’s good.” – Angel

Daniel: "No one could have said demon poo before I touched it?" - Cordelia

Arc/Continuity:

Recurring: Detective Kate Lockley

Generally Known TV Face: Jerry Lambert

Whedonverse Hat Trick: Anthony Cistaro’s second role on this show.

Angel’s Alias: Angel Jones

Angel! In! History!

Not Angel’s history, but Wesley reveals that Lizzie Borden was possessed by an Ethros demon.

Stats:

Cordelia’s Hair – parted down the middle, curling waves; tied up in an artfully messy bun

Dead Humans – 0

Dead Undeads – 1

Dead Flashbacks – 0

Dead Lawyers – 0

Cordelia Has a Vision – 1

Wesley Prat-falls – 0

Lawyered Ex Machina – 0

Evil Reveal – 2 (Ryan is possessed, not Dad; Ryan is more evil than the demon)

Unevil Reveal – 1 (Dad’s not abusive)

Shenanigans Called – 0

Apocalypse Called – 0

Prophecy Called – 0

In Hell You Tend to Know a Lot of the People

Episode 1.13: She. Original Airdate: 2.08.20

“Angel finds himself caught in the middle of a war between the sexes when a female demon from another dimension fights against her male oppressors.”

Daniel’s Thoughts:

• It’s a party!  
• We haven’t done this in a while and I forgot where we were in the Angel universe.
• Zelda and I are doing this remotely. It took a half hour of tech but we finally got it.
• Oh this is the one where Angel dances.
• “In Hell you tend to know a lot of the people.”
• “Can I get you some blood?”
• Aww, Angel is me at a party.
• Wesley is dancing now.  Oh Dear.
• He just called women “Fillies”.  Dude.
• Wesley’s sweater rivals Chris Evans’. 

• ANGEL DANCING.  Even if it’s in his imagination.  It’s still pretty amazing.
• I’m amazed Angel even agreed to come to this party.
• And then he retires to the kitchen.  Aww, Phantom Dennis offers him a chair and a beer.
• Meanwhile in another part of LA – something mysterious is happening that we don’t really see except a box, what looks like dry ice - & a man saying OMG.
• We’ll find out soon.
• Oh, Sean Gunn is in this.
• “I have two modes with people. Bite & Avoid.” – Same.
• Oh hey, Wesley’s officially part of the team, now I guess.  I didn’t know they ever made it officially official. Like with words.  I like that.  It's kinda a throwaway scene that most people probably don't need but I appreciate it.
• Cordy has a vision of what we saw earlier but even more.  A gross corpse with popping eyes.  By which I mean, eyes literally popping. 
• An ice factory.  There are ice factories?  That must be the easiest business in the world.  Turn on the tap, freeze.
• I mean, who – when they’re a child – says – you know what I want to give people when I grow up? Ice.  Everyone needs ice.
• This demon looks like something out of Star Trek.
• “Tae” is not from our dimension.  And he’s hunting the creature.
• Angel and his Batman toys. I love it.
• And there SHE is.  SHE also looks like someone out of Star Trek.

• SHE’s pretty strong.  SHE may be from another dimension but she’s got our dimension’s cell phones. 
• Oh the misunderstandings we used to have with bad cell phone reception.
• “Did she Carrie you?”  Honestly, even without the bad cell reception – it’s a weird reference since Carrie sounds so much like carry. “Did she carry you?”  I mean – come on, Cordy.  Step up your pop reference game.
• Angel knows so much about old art and poetry.  Love that.
• A cool dimension thing opens and another SHE falls out.  Which one is the SHE of the title?  Shouldn’t it be called SHES?
• “Why does it speak when no one listens?” – damn – so this is all a metaphor for sexism I guess?
• They’re removing something from her back.  AH, I see.  It’s an allegory for those tribes who remove girls’ clitorises.
• They keep calling her “IT” – Is that why the episode is called SHE?  Is this about misgendering?
• Hey, it’s very young Sean Gunn.
• Angel’s shirtless so I’m not really paying attention to the rest of what’s happening right now.
• His shirt’s on right now – so Cordelia is recapping blah blah blah ice factory.
• To the ice factory!
• Wesley trying to introduce himself to the scantily clad women.  What the eff, Wesley.  There’s awkward and then there’s just inappropriate.
• Ok, he’s still doing it.  I can’t tell if he’s just being awkward or if these women hold some sort of power.  Like sirens.  Z says they’re sirens and that was apparently an entire plot point I missed and/or wasn't paying attention to. [That's the bro's excuse for castrating them, is so they don't drive the menfolk wild with their sexual energy and feminine independence. - Z]
• And the credits shows Wes & Angel dancing bloopers and I love it so much.

Zelda’s Thoughts:

• I wonder if I would hate this episode as much as I do if they had cast literally anyone instead of Bai Ling. Like, what if they went with their Cabaret star casting jag (aka remember the time Joel Grey was on Buffy?) and cast Liza Minelli as Jhiera? How fun would that have been?
• AW HELL YES at least we begin with iconic Wesley dancing.

• Man, wardrobes and eras. Wes looks silly in his big knit sweater, but Chris Evans’s big knit sweater in Knives Out took over the film’s twitter account.
• Oh but this rando girl compliments Wes’s sweater so maybe I know nothing Jon Snow. [I, too, like the sweater, Jon Snow.-D]
• And now we get also-iconic Angel’s nightmare fantasy of him doing his own wacky dancing.

• Aw Phantom Dennis, pulling out a chair for brooding Angel to sit, cracking open a beer for him. Just a couple of dead bros bonding.
• Oooh a mystery crate making noises and glowing.
• Angel wants coffee. I guess it really doesn’t give him jitters anymore.
• Angel claiming he has two modes with people, bite and avoid. Another step in retconning from when they hadn’t nailed down who he was yet on early Buffy.
• Aw, Wes is finally officially part of Angel Investigations! Yay!
• Wow that was a super gross vision, esplodey eyes and all.
• Luckily the Jerico Ice Factory has ample shade in its empty parking lot for when Wes and Angel drive up.
• Angel, going through the corpse’s wallet, knows just which card to extract as a clue. My old wallet had like 40 restaurant cards and all the actor cards from my friends. My wallet would be unhelpful. Also I’m not a corpse, which I guess would also be unhelpful in investigating a murder.
• Oooh this bro is here from another dimension to stop a bringer of chaos. #topicalcommentary
• Seriously, why does a vampire drive a convertible.
• Time for Angel! Can! Fly! (with batman toys)
• Angel’s brand of detectiving involves so much more B&E than I think should be allowed. Did he train with Veronica Mars?
• Dammit, she’s here. Should I say She’s here? Should I capitalize it? Fine I’ll use her name since I know it. [I CAPITALIZE ALL THE LETTERS: SHE - D]
• LOL first Angel’s phone isn’t dialing properly, then it’s low battery. I was about to make a snark about TV writers from this era finding any excuse possible to have characters not be able to use the shortcut of mobile phones, but then he did get through on the third try. Oh but he’s got shit signal. Never mind they’re still sort of doing that thing. At least they put more effort into it than Buffy-drops-her-cell-in-a-graveyard.
• Heh, Jhiera tells security Angel’s stalking her. Oh but Angel took off his jacket. EVERYONE SO SNEAKY.
• Oh my god, I forgot Angel pretended to be a tour guide in the art museum for a hot second. I love it actually.
• Omg did Baudelaire write a love poem to Angel did he did he did Angel love him back I ship it and the ship name is Baudelangel.
• Wow, the boob window on Jhiera’s leather halter top why.
• Yeah this bit annoys me, the bro demons hitting the IT too hard (calling all women it instead of she/her), it’s not something they would do if that’s just how they always referred to them. It’s a clumsy read.
• I mean also obviously I’m annoyed that they treat women like objects or mindless cattle and are forcibly castrating them, it’s fucking evil, I’m there with y’all. I just. This episode is such a chore, as is Bai Ling, as is the forced I-don’t-buy-it chemistry between her and Angel.
• DB and BL: emote at each other with heat wave trembles overlaid on the screen. // Me: meh.
• Aw baby Sean Gunn, not even in demon makeup! Oh man his face, so young, his hair like the down on a baby chick.

• Wowww Angel’s guilty “I had to take a shower” and like I don’t need that wank energy.
• Angel’s plan is he goes and punches everyone. What a planner.
• Wesley, stop being stupid and gross please. It’s not funny and I hate it. I know it’s out of his control because of all the pheromone exposition we got earlier but please stop.
• Nooooo the bro demons punched out baby Sean Gunn! Save him, Amy Sherman-Palladino!
• Bro demon: Give them back, or the humans die. // Jhiera: Then they die. // Wes and Cordy: *fuck that, we can punch our way out of this too*
• Angel just smashed all the coffee and Wesley had a golden prat-fall on it and I love it.

• Blah blah final scene blah blah everyone is sexy yawn
• Though DB had some nice five o’clock shadow in that intense close up.
• HELL YEAH CLOSING CREDITS WITH MORE WACKY DANCING.

Favorite Lines:

Daniel: “In hell you tend to know a lot of the people.” – Angel

Zelda: 

Arc/Continuity:

Recurring: Phantom Dennis, Angel’s A+ drawing skills

Already Famous Person: Bai Ling (we guess?)

Whedonverse Hat Trick: Both Sean Gunn and Chris Durand playing their second role on this show.

Angel! In! History!

Angel as sudden art museum docent: “And this brings us to Monet's incomparable 'La Music Aux Tuileries,' first exhibited in 1863 ... On the left one spies the painter himself. In the middle distance is the French poet and critic Baudelaire, a friend of the artist. Now, Baudelaire -- interesting fellow. In his poem 'Le Vampire' he wrote 'Thou who abruptly as a knife didst come into my heart.' He strongly believed that evil forces surrounded mankind. And some even speculated that the poem was about a real vampire. Oh, and uh Baudelaire was actually a little taller and a lot drunker than he is depicted here.” aka ship Baudelangel is canon.

Stats:

Cordelia’s Hair – parted down the middle, lightly waved

Dead Humans – 1

Dead Undeads – 0

Dead Flashbacks – 0

Dead Lawyers – 0

Cordelia Has a Vision – 1

Wesley Prat-falls – 3

Lawyered Ex Machina – 0

Evil Reveal – 1 (the Vigories of Oden Tal are castraters who enslave their women)

Unevil Reveal – 1 (Jhiera isn’t a bringer of chaos but a refugee and revolutionary)

Shenanigans Called – 0

Apocalypse Called – 0

Prophecy Called – 0