And I Don't Want You Seeing Kid Rock

Episode 1.14: Mars vs. Mars. Original Airdate 2.15.05

"When a girl in school accuses Veronica's favorite teacher of sexual harassment, Veronica finds herself pitted against her father, who is hired by the girl's family to get him fired. Meanwhile, Logan enlists Veronica's help to track down his mother, who he believes is still alive."

Zelda's Thoughts:

• Hello my ship is here and it's awkward.
• Man, Logan. "I just need to know she's okay."
• Oh man, Adam Scott. A delightful actor. A less than delightful character.
• Time for the Rooks/Knight/Bishop story!
• Did I mention I'm seeing a concert staging of Chess in Feb with revised script by Buffy's own Danny Strong? Because that's a totally on topic thing to mention. Because their last names are Chess pieces. That's the joke. That's the segue. Anyway, BE JEALOUS.
• I ... don't love that Veronica's default is to not believe the girl making the accusation. I know she's suspicious by nature (and it is revealed that there is a lie in what Carrie says), but Veronica's a rape victim who was laughed out of the police station when she tried to report it. It's all too typical that Carrie Bishop is getting slut shamed by the school (and she is), but I would love for Veronica to buck that trend, and, you know, NOT.
• Maybe if Mr. Rooks had existed before this episode, and become someone we'd invested in the way Veronica seems to have, as one of the good teachers, it would be less frustrating, because we'd want to believe in his innocence too.
• Oh boy I'd forgotten that the beginning of Logan and Veronica detecting also coincided with her trying to fix things with Deputy Leo. "I used you, then fell for you, not the other way around." OKAY BUT HE'S AN ADULT AND VERONICA IS A TEEN AND THIS FEELS RELEVANT WHEN THE MYSTERY OF THE WEEK INVOLVES AN ADULT HAVING AFFAIRS WITH MINORS.
• mannnnn the realization that the "witness" that Lynn Echolls ran away is actually a delusional nutbar. Poor Logan.
• WEEVIL HI WEEVIL.
• ...Weevil had nothing to do.
• wow speaking of Mars vs Mars, Keith left his safe boobytrapped so Veronica got splattered with ink. "Honey, you don't have to get all blue in the face."
• Weevil's back! Does he have something to do this time? "Finally! A Deep Throat to call my own." // "Not gonna touch that one."
• I guess that's why Weevil was in an earlier scene with nothing to do - so he'd know Veronica was working on the Case of the Missing Echolls.
• "Colleagues said you were .. (Veronica makes a face) Unique. (V makes a face) Gifted. (V makes a face) Unsettling?" // "I was hoping for delightful, but what can you do." boy do I relate to this. Also her faces are cracking me up:

Unique

Gifted.....unsettling?

• "You'd destroy him." // "Destroy him? From where I stand, he's become more popular than ever. I'm the bitch that everyone hates." haha she's not wrong the world is a garbage fire.
• And then Veronica effing slut shames her.
• Oh look, Veronica realizes Mr. Rooks is a fucking predator after all
• Hey guys, remember super skinny scarves?
• Geez. I knew it was coming, but it's still gutting to see the footage of Lynn's jump. I'd also forgotten we saw that this ep, since we haven't had the Trina in the hotel stuff yet.
• Oh wait, it's time for that part. Veronica got a message that Lynn's credit card was used.
• "Honey, if I were in trouble, I'd want you on my side." // "Well, that's where I'd be." I love a Mars reconciliation.
• So interesting to see Abel Koontz, who was so chilling when we saw him last, when he revealed he knew who Veronica was, and that she was Jake Kane's daughter, have the wind taken out of his sails. Veronica tells him she knows he's dying and taking the fall for Lilly's death, and suddenly he's got nothing to say. He doesn't have the shield of bravado, crowing about a murder he didn't commit.

Daniel's Thoughts:

• See, that’s how you spell “vs.”, Batman very Superman.
• We continue from last episode. Logan comes in and no doggie coming to greet them.  Back-Up? Where are you?
• “Well, if she's on the TV, she must be telling the truth.” 
• Omg,  Baby Adam Scott!  How old IS HE?  He’s playing a teacher.  He’s way older than I thought he was.  OMG, that 2000s hair. [currently 44, 32 when this aired - IMDB]

• Oops, a student accusing young cute teacher Adam Scott of sleeping with her.  And it’s whatsherface!  From that show about the rich Upper East-Siders.
• And weird, Veronica immediately comes to the teacher’s defense….and comforts him instead.  This is crazy.
• Even some of the female students are pro-teacher, vilifying the student.
• Veronica is acting like a total dick right now. She’s acting like the masses.  Believe the older man over the teenage girl.
• She’s even using words like “witchhunt”, a word that many old male GOP sexual harrassers are using now.
• Hey! It’s Cliff!
• Oh, it’s Deputy Leo J  All the good recurrings now J
• “You fell for me?” *Deputy Leo Smile*  *melt*

[Yes. - D]

• “She must really dislike you.” “There’s a club she can join.”
• Keith is the only one that’s reasonable here.
• Look, it’s Skist Cola.  And look, Veronica’s putting the logo right at the camera.  Is this a real cola? I can't find it on the interwebs.  It is not.  So it's super extra funny that Veronica keeps turning it so it faces the camera like real product placement.

Cool, refreshing Skist

• I love that the fake tabloid is “The National Instigator” since…that’s what those tabloids do.
• I love that Weevil made like a two second cameo…since he wasn’t in the last episode.  I love Weevil, but maybe he shoulda been a recurring character.  Really, the only two that should be regulars are Keith & Veronica.
• I love that Keith put an ink bomb in the safe that he knew Veronica would open.  And Veronica’s face, ‘Motherforker!”
• Oh, I was wrong. Weevil’s back!
• “So you got a trophy for a rimjob?”
• Man, Young Adam Scott needs to shave that poor excuse for stubble.
• It’s really gross how much Veronica doesn’t believe Carrie.  And the thing is, I don’t think tenish years ago when this aired, I would be that aware of this.  I’m hoping a lot of people have grown up since then.
• Pretty coincidental that Koontz and Kane are so close to each other in the alphabet.
• “These are very serious charges, Carrie,” says the “judge” – like she’s the one who is not to be believed. “He’s a very popular teacher.”  As if that’s proof of his innocence.  And Veronica’s doing everything she can to prove it.
• “You must have a gay friend.”  As if straight men can’t decorate.  Or as if all gay men can.  Ugh. Stahp.
• I’m glad Veronica is admitting how wrong she’s been but I wish she had seen it earlier.
• I kinda love the way Veronica talks to annoying freshmen.
• Seeing Weevil talk to a freshman, though.  Man, the kid looks like he could be Weevil’s son and they’re only supposed to be a few years apart.  It’s hilarious.
• Kootnz is so damn creepy.

Favorite Lines:

Zelda: Veronica: You're patronizing me? // Keith: To be fair, I am your patron.

Daniel: "So you got a trophy for a rim job?" - Veronica

Arc/Continuity:

Neptune Roll Call: Wallace, Duncan, Logan, Weevil

First Appearance: Carrie Bishop, Susan Knight

Recurring: Cliff McCormack, Deputy Leo D'Amato, Vice Principal Van Clemmons, Abel Koontz

Future Famous Person: Leighton Meester, Adam Scott

Veronica's Alias: reporter for The National Instigator

Stats:

Dead Humans - 1

Backup Sighting - 0

Veronica Breaks In - 1

Veronica Tases Someone - 0

Mac Hacks - 0

Who's Your Daddy? - 0

Wallace Does Veronica a Favor - 1

Veronica Wants a Pony - 0

Logan Punches Someone - 0

Dick's Single Entendres - 0

Shenanigans Called - 0

VERONICA WAS RIGHT - 1 (Carrie Bishop was lying)

VERONICA WAS WRONG - 1 (Mr. Rooks is a predator)

The Eagles Had a Bunch of Dudes

Episode 1.13: Lord of the Bling. Original Airdate 2.08.05

"After a wealthy music producer's daughter goes missing, Veronica almost bites off more than she can chew in her attempt to find her old friend. Meanwhile, Logan finds it difficult to show the proper emotions at his mother's wake."

Daniel's Thoughts:

• Hey it’s Anthony Anderson!  He’s so young…ish.  Wow, and he’s lost a lot of weight since, too.  His show Black-ish is really great.

• Oh man, blackberries. Remember them?  Apparently Lynn Echolls left a suicide note on hers.
• Wallace has got new hair and Veronica is “resisting the urge to touch” ….which…..not cool, Veronica.  Wallace ducks away but doesn’t say why.  I think that, at the time, I didn’t realize why that was a wrong thing.  I’ve since been educated about that.  And I’m wondering if the writers knew this going in.  Article from Femcult52.
• I love when they quote the opening song, “We used to be friends, a long time ago.” – Veronica says it this time. It really is a great theme song.  It’s catchy but it says so much about what the show is about.
• Anthony Anderson: “We’re not talking about teenage misbehavior…” Um…spoiler.
• “Hey Honey, What are you cooking?” “Not quite sure myself. Something that ends in –a-roni” – Aww, Veronica cooks like me.
• In a flashback, Logan & the gang check out Yolanda and immediately comment on her race.  It’s not necessarily insulting but the microaggresion here is "You're black, but I'm still attracted to you."  It's really gross. Lilly & Logan are super guilty of it.
• I like when Veronica voiceovers explaining detective stuff.  It’s like that USA show Burn Notice but less annoying.
• In another flashback, Veronica wears a huge wool sweater in southern California. [Listen, it gets cold enough for sweaters in SoCal. Just not cold enough for parkas. -Z, who will soon be Christmassing in SoCal in a hoodie]
• I love watching Logan and Aaron trying to be father and son when there’s no way they can be.  I like the subtle way Aaron tries to hold Logan’s hand and he’s super creeped out by it.
• Were telegrams still a thing in 2005? Apparently you can - but why would anyone want to?
• They’re totally taking advantage of the time here – all the rivalries between R&B/Rap Moguls.  Dangling someone out the window – sounds familiar.
• Lilly:  “You should be glad.  We’re the best!”  I love Lilly so hard.
• Melinda the Hospitality Lady is awesome but why…on Earth did the receptionist go along with this? Why would she let a complete stranger show the hotel's big guests their room? SHENANIGANS!
• There are so many subtle lines in this episode of grown men talking about how sexy teenage girls are.  And they seem so matter-of-fact…because this is our culture.  And now 10-15 years later we’re finally talking about it publicly.  All this is coming out and how this is not okay.  But writing like this – like it’s no big deal – normalizes it and makes young men think this is okay when they get older.  It’s a never-ending circle.
• And Logan thinks his mother is alive…because they didn’t find a body and she left something behind that she always had on her, a lighter that says “Free At Last” – All of this is great evidence – especially in tv shows.  There’s usually a rule of TV shows: No body, no death.  This is especially true for soap operas.  And all this - all good red herrings.  All reason for the audience to be with Logan, even though in real life, it’s pretty improbable.

• “If the cops are so great, why aren’t you still one?”  good question, Anthony Anderson.
• Watching Veronica’s mind working without her saying anything is amazing.
• I love how Bryce just did all this to prove to his dad that he’s not soft…  It’s….weird. Sweet?  I mean. No.  It’s more toxic masculinity.  Why does he need to prove this?  And no one questions it.
• Though, I’m glad Yolanda is getting a nice happy ending…even though she is getting married while in high school.  Yay for her and Benjamin, I guess?
• Ooh, and nice ending.  Logan to Veronica, “I want you to find my mother.”

Zelda's Thoughts:

• We're back! We missed you guys.
• Aw previously, Lisa Rinna jumped off a bridge.
• "Did she really leave a note on a Blackberry?"
• Aw Wallace's new hair is adorable. But no, Veronica, do not touch.
• Bone Hamilton. What a name.
• "We used to be friends, a long time ago." It's already a dorky line but then it leads DIRECTLY into the credits singing "A long time ago, we used to be friends," andddddd I'm rolling my eyes.
• Bone Hamilton has all the enemies. Just like Alexander!
• "And if you buy it, he's the scariest man alive who's also launching a line of casual wear."
• Flashback to when Duncan and Logan creeped on Yolanda. Though I do love the effect of the flashback walking past present day Veronica.
• Gasp! Reveal that Bone's former lawyer is now partially paralyzed.
• Hi Aaron Echolls in Mourning! I hate you. So does Logan. 
• "Veronica his is a Mars Investigation matter. I'm Mars." // "And who am I?"
• I love Veronica fighting for her right to be part of the investigation. Not just because she knew Yolanda, but because she's worried about her dad and his bad back.
• Wow Veronica just jumped right in, claiming to be hotel hospitality so she can bug Dime Bag's replacement room. She's got hustle. But also I see why Keith worries.
• Keith's slow burn glare as he realized what Veronica did, even though she did help salvage the hotel bug mission.
• Logan to awful Aaron: "Dad, let's be honest. Maybe we both wish we'd been better. But she's only gone because of you."
• Between the shadiness of flashback Duncan and Logan and the rapey mysogyny rampant in Dime Bag's posse, this episode is sure making me a fan of the menfolk.
• Aaron Echolls is quitting show biz? Are we attempting a redemption arc? (HAH we know the truth about Aaron Echolls)
• Ouch, Logan thinks his mom might not be dead. The show definitely makes a good case for the possibility over the new few episodes, but knowing the future, it just makes me sad. Logan is deep in the denial and bargaining of it all.
• Every time Keith says "Mr. Hamilton" I get confused that no one's singing.
• "Look, you can be mad, dad, but you can't call me soft."
• omg Keith has to explain that there's a camera in the laptop THE PAST IS SO CUTE YOU GUYS.
• BEGINNING OF LOGAN AND VERONICA DETECTING ADVENTURES.

• Also I guess this means we're fully underway with the Logan Redemption Arc, as kickstarted by his mom's disappearance.

Crossfire!

Lilly: *honks car horn* Veronica! Come on. San Diego's waiting.

Z: Get in loser, we're going shopping.

D: *high five* That's exactly what I was thinking!

Favorite Lines:

Daniel: Keith: Hey honey, what's cooking? / Veronica: Not quite sure, myself. Something that ends in -aroni.

Zelda: "And if you buy it, he's the scariest man alive who's also launching a line of casual wear." - Keith

Arc/Continuity:

Neptune Roll Call: Wallace, Duncan, Logan (Absent: Weevil)

Recurring: Lilly Kane, Dick Casablancas, Aaron Echolls, Harvey Greenblatt

Already Famous Person: Anthony Anderson

Veronica's Alias: Melinda the Hospitality Hostess, Lisa the Sorority Girl

Stats:

Dead Humans - 0

Backup Sighting - 0

Veronica Breaks In - 0

Veronica Tases Someone - 0

Mac Hacks - 0

Who's Your Daddy? - 0

Wallace Does Veronica a Favor - 0

Veronica Wants a Pony - 0

Logan Punches Someone - 0

Logan Smashes a Camera - 1 

Dick's Single Entendres - 0

Shenanigans Called - 1

VERONICA WAS RIGHT - 0

VERONICA WAS WRONG - 0

One Way or Another

Episode 1.12: Clash of the Tritons. Original Airdate 1.11.05

"Veronica finds herself the target of a set-up when a secret underground society within Neptune High begins planting evidence to get her in trouble. Meanwhile, Veronica learns new information about Lilly's murder by eavesdropping on private conversations, and Aaron Echolls becomes concerned about his wife."

A quick note: We are very sad to report that Brad Bufanda, who played recurring character Felix Toombs on Veronica Mars, committed suicide last week. We don't know what was happening in his life, nor should we speculate, but it's awful and we're sorry for his pain, and for the pain of his loved ones.

Zelda's Thoughts: 

• Okay, NOW we can acknowledge that time Aaron Echolls got stabbed.
• It's the return of Rebecca James! Hi, Rebecca James.
• "I don't wanna talk away my grief. I wanna turn it into something else. Fuel."
• And then Veronica switches out the staplers so she can bug Ms. James's sessions with other Lilly survivors, which is ... pretty uncool, but she has very few boundaries when it comes to solving Lilly's murder.
• GASP Veronica has been maligned and accused of distributing fake IDs ... which she totally knows how to make, but she didn't do this time.
• Wow she's been super framed, with fake IDs stuffed in her locker. And oops she has a couple fake IDs of her own in her wallet.
• CLIFF IS HERE HI CLIFF I LOVE YOU
• "Howdy, Rick. Do I know you? No. Then why did you tell Sheriff Lamb I sold you a fake ID?" // "It's what they told me to say." // "Who's they?" // "No way. They're everywhere. They will destroy me." // "I'll destroy you worse." She will, Rick. Just you wait.
• I was squawking about Clemmons keeping Veronica's bag. Glad to see Wallace brought it to her. He's the best.
• When Veronica asks Wallace how he'd go about getting a fake ID: "Hey Veronica, I need you to get me a fake ID so I can get some fake action from a fake cheerleader." I love that he points out the obvious, that he'd ask Veronica if he needed a fake ID. 

• Wow, pretty tacky. Logan's locker covered in notes about his dad's newest scandal.
• Weevil: "You know, the same day Lilly Kane died, a little girl went missing in my neighborhood. They found her body three months later. Where were the cameras when she went missing. Where was the grief counseling for HER?" Yep.
• And Veronica listens in from her car, hidden under a tarp because she's been suspended.
• Full confirmation that Lilly and Weevil had a relationship, while she and Logan were on the outs.
• Francis Capra acting the hell out of this scene. "She was someone I could have loved, you know? And she felt it too, I know she did."
• Did your high school have a secret society? HOW WOULD YOU KNOW?
• "Why haven't I heard of them? Stupid question."
• "Hi dad. Their case is fuzzy and circumstantial." // "You know the odd thing? Those were also her very first words."
• First shoutout to not-yet-here Trina Echolls! (Daniel: Ugh)
• Wallace is rather delightful as a storyteller. "You're on Candid Camera!"
• Veronica sneaks into school, creates a fake display about cameras in the display cabinet, all so she can spy on the locker where people are dropping money for fake IDs.
• Logan's taking Calculus as a Junior? Not bad, not bad. (My sister is scoffing and saying that's nothing, because she's a math genius and was taking math at the local university her senior year of high school)
• Ah, so Veronica is "responsible" for Logan and Lilly having broken up right before the murder. Responsible because she told Lilly about Logan kissing someone else. "And I blame myself for being stupid, and I blame Lilly for being a bitch that week." At least he's not blaming only Veronica.
• "And what is so great about living?" damn, Jason Dohring and your emotings. Maybe this is when we start to like Logan? Or maybe it's not til Lynn is gone.

• Haha, I love how outraged Veronica is at the poor craftmanship of the fake IDs for which she's been framed.
• Duncan Kane is a turrible singer. This should be confirmation he's not actually Veronica's brother.
• YAY KRISTEN BELL WILL SING FOR US
• Did you guys know she played Becky in the Tom Sawyer musical on Broadway? True story. She's also in the amazing Reefer Madness musical film, along with Alan Cumming and Ana Gasteyer and Neve Campbell. I like musicals, you guys.
• Le gasp! Duncan hasn't just been on antidepressants. There's something else going on. WHAT COULD IT BEEEEEEE. COULD IT BEEEEE A RED HERRING?
• Duncan Kane's medication is communism.
• Damn, Duncan had a three day blackout. He doesn't remember the day of Lilly's death.
• Ooooops. Veronica's been abducted by the Tritons. Do Ariel and Sebastian know about this?
• Veronica from a trunk of a car, calling Wallace: "Hey, Wallace, whatcha doing? Uh huh. No I haven't seen that one."
• Wow they locked her in her own trunk? That's kind of cold.
• Veronica: *takes pictures of secret society* "Gotta boogie." // Tritons: CHASE CHASE. // Veronica: *does a superhero run up and jumps into her convertible and she and Wallace drive away.* Throwback Tuesday to when Angel failed to do that.
• "And I don't have time to 'wrongfully tamper' with a government issued document if I'm stuck here in your office." complete with adorable scarequotes. Have I mentioned lately I love our Veronica?
• I love that (okay I don't love, it's awful) the Echolls are bitterly arguing with Logan sitting right between them. Even when he interjects, they just ignore him. Until "You say another word to her, and I will kill you."
• Aw man. Farewell, Lynn Echolls. The show done wrong by you.
• Veronica is a smart cookie. Rick set the whole thing up, including pretending he was being inducted into the Tritons, and then shoveling further blame onto Veronica. Rick is just a shitty, tiny little human.
• I'm sorry, Rick's outrage against Veronica is BS. He's mad because her dad busted his dad for embezzling. HIS DAD WAS EMBEZZLING. THAT IS NO MORE KEITH'S FAULT THAN LOGAN KISSING ANOTHER GIRL IS VERONICA'S FAULT. This episode is all about misdirected anger and blame. Oh. That's probably deliberate, huh.
• This show is, like, well done.
• Sigh. Lynn's car abandoned on a bridge.

Daniel's Thoughts: 

• The grief sessions for Lily’s death is a little late, isn’t it?
• “Wow, I have that exact same platitude-a-day calendar at home. It's how I know beauty comes from within."
• Newspaper class – no Miss Poitier.
•  Uh oh…Veronica’s starting to look guilty – considering….she does make IDs…but that’s only for herself!  Still illegal, I guess.
• Oh wow.  Did they really need to handcuff her?
• An extra takes a photo….with a camera. Before smartphones.  Now she has to like go develop that and stuff.

"Now. I just have to wait to finish the reel.  And then I'll have this photo in like two-four weeks."

• Yay! Cliff!
• “No, it has to be done in secret.”  “She has an office, Rick!” ~Rick/Me
• My favorite part of Wallace is when he calls out Veronica.
• I gotta say, hearing about your parents' personal lives on the radio has gotta suck.
• The obligatory “Kids at HS extras all look at that one person and weirdly point like no one would.”

NO ONE DOES THIS

• The one where Veronica finds out about Lilly & Weevil
• “Secret society in school.” “Why haven’t I heard of them?  ….  Stupid question.”
• Aaron looks okay for being stabbed in the gut.
• “Hi Dad, their case is fuzzy and circumstantial.” “Can you believe that was her first words?”
• I love that Veronica’s reading about the god Triton like it’s going to help with the case.  Doesn’t she have homework ever?
• Hey, someone’s at the door….no Back-Up greeting the visitor.  What kind of dog doesn’t…?
• Oh hey, reading about Triton did help.  Surprise surprise.
• It’s almost like these ‘grief sessions’ were a front for Veronica’s investigations.
• Logan, “And what is so great about living.”  Aww.  I think this is about the time we fall in love with Logan.  Also, he hasn’t been racist all episode, so…plus?
• Hey! Kristen Bell can sing!  Maybe she should be a Disney Princess?! 

• The kidnappers left her cell in her pocket.  Amateurs.
• Reminds me of the Buffy episode where they summon a demon and almost sacrifice Azura Skye.
• “Hey everybody! Say repressed homosexuality!”
• Lynn: “I cannot take this anymore.”  And that’s the last thing she’ll ever say.
• He messed with the wrong annoying tiny blonde!  If you want to set up someone, you don’t choose the only teen private detective in school.

Crossfire!

Tritons: chant chant chant
D: They're summoning a demon?

Z: Is it a dick demon?

Did someone say "dick demon?"

Favorite Lines:

Zelda: Sheriff Don Lamb, reading: "Veronica Mars is ... smarter than me." // Veronica: "Oh you stop it."

Daniel: "Wow, I have that exact same platitude-a-day calendar at home. It's how I know beauty comes from within." - Veronica

Arc/Continuity:

Neptune Roll Call: Logan, Wallace, Weevil, Duncan

Recurring: Rebecca James, Vice Principal Van Clemmons, Sheriff Don Lamb, Cliff McCormack, Hector, Aaron Echolls, Lynn Echolls, Deputy Jerry Sacks

Veronica's Aliases: Lilly Kane, Veronica Mars at 22 years old, San Diego State student, licensed massage therapist

Stats:

Dead Humans - 0

Backup Sighting - 0 

Veronica Breaks In - 1

Veronica Tases Someone - 0

Mac Hacks - 0

Who's Your Daddy? - 0

Wallace Does Veronica a Favor - 1 (we're counting saving her from being locked in the trunk as friendship)

Veronica Wants a Pony - 0

Logan Punches Someone - 1

Dick's Single Entendres - 0

Shenanigans Called - 0

VERONICA WAS RIGHT - 0

VERONICA WAS WRONG - 0

Falafels and Fellini

Episode 1.11: Silence of the Lamb. Original Airdate 1.4.05

"After setting up a new business helping classmates dig up dirt on their parents, Veronica uncovers a huge revelation about her friend Mac, which leaves her wondering if some things about your family are best left unknown. Meanwhile, Keith must team up with Sheriff Lamb to track down a serial killer in Neptune."

Daniel's Thoughts:

• “E-string strangler” – that’s an amazing moniker.
• Wow!  Neptune High has an actual hot dog stand in the dining area outside.   That’s why Wallace always has hot dogs.

WHAT KIND OF H.S. HAS A HOT DOG STAND?

• Also, some of the students have so much money that they hire a violinists to play for their birthd-  nah, this is just too weird to even talk about.
• Haha.  Veronica is making bank digging up dirt on parents.  That’s awesome.
• DEPUTY LEO.  DEPUTY LEO. DEPUTY LEO.
• And hey! Mac is back.
• “I don’t think it’s  an exaggeration to say we'd rule the entire known universe.”
• Switched at Birth.  It’s like that tv show.  I think it’s called: “I have your daughter. I have yours, too.”
• “Do you know where I can find this ‘Devil Dave’?”  How’d he get to be the Sheriff?  Oh yeah.
• Hey, all of Mac’s family is blonde!  Oooh.
• Mac’s real name is Cindy.
• Hmmm, who else has a birthday around this time?  Good thing it was mentioned earlier.
• VERONICA MEETS DEPUTY LEO.  OMG, HE’S SO ADORKABLE.
• “Oh my, Deputy Leo.”  INDEED.
• Yay! It’s Aaron Paul! He’s playing a total sleaze.
• I love how horrified Madison is to see three nerds her party. Unless it's, ya know, because she knows who Mac really is.
• And Mac meets her real sister.  It’s so sweet and so sad and so complicated.
• Max Greenfield’s smile – it’s  just.  *melt*

How does he DO that?

• Weevil helping Veronica out is amazing.  This rambling string of non-coherence is just fantastic. “Heavy metal music!”
• “I don’t see how my age has anything to do with this.” “Then you’re not reading my mind.”  I love him so much.  He’s just….as Leo, he doesn’t stop smiling ever. I think his face is stuck that way and that’s totally okay.
• “A cop that rocks, what’ll they think of next?”
• I’m glad Aaron Paul went on to be famous.  He could have had a career as a ‘one guest star at a time’ guy – but it only took that one job – Breaking Bad – to elevate his stardom.
• And I will be one of his characters for HALLOWEEN TODAY - I'm gonna be Todd from Bojack Horseman. 

HOORAY!

• You can see the yearning in Mac’s real mom’s face.  It’s super sad.
• It’s strange we’ve had several scenes in a row without Veronica.  That’s abnormal for this show.
• Aww, Veronica is seeing Deputy Leo’s band practice. 
• Aww!  Deputy Leo saved Keith’s life!  (This is my AWW DEPUTY LEO EPISODE).
• So Mac decides to stay in her own life….  Let’s see how this affects Mac’s character growth at all…

Zelda's Thoughts:

• Time for the show to be like Aaron Echolls got stabbed? Doesn't ring a bell ... Check back with me next week.
• I guess it makes sense, this episode aired in January. Had they aired in their intended order, the Christmas episode would have aired after New Year's and WE CANNOT HAVE THAT.
• "I prefer the biker bar by the train station. I get more attention there." I love Veronica snark.
• "I hear you do detective stuff for people." // "I do favors for friends." // "I can pay." // "Sit down, friend."
• Madison Sinclair's parents hired a string set to play music at lunch time. How ... weird?
• Veronica offers Deputy Lamb a banana. You see the joke is, he's a monkey.
• I want a banana now. You see the joke is, I'm a human.
• Aw Deputy Leo! Hi Deputy Leo!
• "Except for the asphyxiation, the imprisonment, the body disposal, these cases have a lot in common."
• MAC! IT'S MAC, YOU GUYS. I LOVE MAC. STAY FOREVER, MAC.
• I love that Mac has figured out a way to better organize Veronica's new side business of digging up dirt on parents, complete with flash website.
• Aw Veronica's using microfiche. I remember microfiche. I remember how important a part of our education it was, making sure we knew all the ways to research things. RIP, pre-internet research.

Kids, this is how we used to have to look up archived
 newspaper articles.

• Seeeee Mac's front door has a Christmas wreath on it - more evidence this was meant to air pre-Christmas.
• I love that Mac has a fireplace in her room and has filled it with books. I LOVE MAC.
• GASP MAC WAS SWITCHED WITH MADISON SINCLAIR.
• Douchebag "Wouldn't mind having her call me daddy." Sorry, douche, that's only Keith and MAYBE Jake.
• Man, I have such mixed feelings about Veronica and Deputy Leo. They're cute, and I love Max Greenfield (though he talks like he's got marbles in his mouth on this show), but I can't get past a man in law enforcement whom we're supposed to suspect is an honorable soul, entering into a relationship with a minor, even though we know they don't have sex.
• IT'S AARON PAUL HI AARON PAUL.
• haha Madison's face falling when Veronica, Wallace, and Mac appear. And they scream HEY HAPPY BIRTHDAY as if they're friends. It's so cute and I love our babies.

the best

• Oh man, Mac meeting her secret real sister. *hugs them* SHE'S READING THE WESTING GAME, SHE HAS GOOD TASTE.
• Oh man I just realized they left Wallace at the party. That's kind of cold.
• "I know, I'm shameless. But every time I start to feel guilty, I remind myself that Lilly would be thinking about colleges right now, or what new CD played at maximum volume would most annoy her mother, and I remember my mission." At least we're acknowledging this is mean to Deputy Leo.
• I CAN'T UNDERSTAND A WORD YOU'RE SAYING, DEPUTY LEO.
• Yesssssssss Weevil is part of the scheme! I love Weevil. 
• "Good evening, Mr. Weevil, is there anything we can do for you?" This is so cute I cannot. Mr. Weevil.
• Okay, good, at least Deputy Leo is like oh shit you're 17. Good. GOOD. 
• "A cop that rocks? What will they think of next?"
• Look at all those beautiful colored pencils on Veronica's desk! Why? It's pretty, but why?
• "I say we play to our strengths?" // "So I'm good cop?" Keith mocking Lamb, always good.
• Aaron Paul with your pretty blue eyes, you haven't even been destroyed by Walter White yet.

so innocent

• Yay Veronica's asked Mac for more tech expertise. Let's make Mac Hacks a regular thing. I JUST LOVE MAC, OKAY.
• Also Tina Majorino is so good.
• Great casting with Madison's "mom" - she looks so much like Mac. And her face as she realizes who Mac is. MY HEART.
• And their conversation is so loaded with things they can't say.
• Oh, Mac really did leave her bag behind at Madison's party. I assumed it was a lie. I'm too used to Veronica and her schemes.
• Keith in his trench coat is looking full on Marlowe P.I., it's great.
• YAAAAAAY KEITH TO THE RESCUE. He found the latest abducted girl before she could be murdered.
• And Deputy Leo stopped the bad guy before he hurt our dad.
• "You know ... saving the life of a gal's dad ... smooth."
• Oops but Leo got suspended because Veronica stole evidence while Weevil distracted him. I guess I should be impressed Lamb noticed? Poor Deputy Leo.
• "Same old story ... Girl uses boy. Girl falls for boy. Boy saves girl's dad's life. Girl gets what she deserves." That's ... the same old story? Veronica needs to read different stories.
• GASP Clarence Wiedman called in the tip about Abel Koontz!
• Wonderful face acting from Mrs. Sinclair as she and Mac stare at each other through the car window.
• Heh, Veronica telling Wiedman she's onto him by taking her own stalker photos. Girl's got balls.
• Complete sidebar of a thing that occurred to me last week: so you know how the show likes to use somewhat heightened names? or at least names that point to another frame, like the Mars family living in Neptune, or the Knight/Rook/Bishop characters in "Mars vs Mars" later this season. So I only just noticed that the patsy set up to take the fall for Lilly's murder was Abel - sacrificed by the Kanes. Cain/Abel you guys. I hope I'm not the only one who didn't notice that.

Favorite Lines:

Daniel: “I don’t think it’s  an exaggeration to say we'd will rule the entire known universe.” - Mac

Zelda: "I'll bet that if my zip code ended in 0909, you'd have a patrol car swinging by the house every ten minutes, 'Good evening, Mr. Weevil, is there anything we can do for you?' That kind of service." - Mr. Weevil

Arc/Continuity:

Neptune Roll Call: Wallace, Weevil (Absent: Duncan, Logan)

First Appearance: Deputy Leo D'Amato

Recurring: Madison Sinclair, Sheriff Don Lamb, Veronica's "Office," Deputy Jerry Sacks, Mac Mackenzie, Clarence Wiedman

Future Famous Person: Max Greenfield, Aaron Paul. Aaron Paul, you guys.

Stats:

Dead Humans - 0 (yes, there are dead women in the case, but we don't have eyes on the corpses)

Backup Sighting - 0

Veronica Breaks In - 1

Veronica Tases Someone - 0

Mac Hacks - 1

Who's Your Daddy? - 0

Wallace Does Veronica a Favor - 0

Weevil Does Veronica a Favor - 1

Veronica Wants a Pony - 0

Logan Punches Someone - 0

Dick's Single Entendres - 0

Shenanigans Called - 0

VERONICA WAS RIGHT - 0

VERONICA WAS WRONG - 0

No, Veronica, There Is No Santa Claus

Episode 1.10: An Echolls Family Christmas. Original Airdate 12.14.04

"A holiday poker game at Logan's house gets nasty when Weevil's winnings disappear, leaving Veronica to determine the guilty party before Weevil finds his own way of getting the money back. Meanwhile, Keith helps Lynn Echolls find out who is sending threatening messages to her husband, Aaron, before their big Christmas party."

Zelda's Thoughts:

• Ah yes, it's time for the weird discontinuity, where they aired this episode early and thus did not address the fallout until two episodes later. Because CHRISTMAS, YOU GUYS.
• Speaking of, stores are already decorating for Christmas here in New York. In October. Maybe they're making a hybrid holiday season. Hallogivingmas. Like the turducken but tackier.
• Awwww the Marses have the cutest tree. Merry Hallogivingmas, you guys!

• Oh look, Logan was racist to Weevil AGAIN. Stop, Logan.
• but WHAT the money box is EMPTY! Where are Weevil's winnings?
• Logan and Duncan have matching boxers why.

• Man, where are the menorahs? Neptune High's decorations are utterly failing at being secular
• This is weird. Duncan showing full on agitation and emotion...
• "See, there you go with that head tilt thing. You know, you think you're all badass, but whenever you need something, it's all *head tilt* heyyyy." Weevil is not wrong.
• "I hear about a five thousand dollar card game played by idiots, I'm interested." srsly I love Weevil, you guys
• Daniel found the one Hanukkah sign so I guess we're okay.

Did you find it?  It's below the clock

• Logan. Stop. Being. Racist. Stop making me hate you.
• Duncan rubbing his nose against the window while the boys ogle Mrs. Echolls. 

So attractive.

• Veronica and Duncan in what is clearly the journalism classroom but no Mallory Dent.
• I do like Duncan finally calling Logan out on his general jackassery. Logan's been making a few minor steps forward in being not-shitty, but with every racist comment he's taking leaps backward into loathsome.
• omg that pumpkin carved to look like Aaron Echolls. I'm dying.
• "Dude, what's up with that? That's like the tenth racist thing you've said." THANK YOU. Logan's really upped his ante (POKER PUN) with the racist comments this episode. I'm glad everyone's calling him out on it. I'd be even gladder if he'd fucking stop.
• I'm waiting for the show to remind me why I love Logan (besides how amazing Jason Dohring is). Redemption Arc would be welcome any time now.
• "Annoy, tiny blonde one, annoy like the wind." I'm so amazed Daniel doesn't use this on me all the time. [I WILL NOW - D] 

Ughhhh I love Veronica's purple jacket, can I steal it?

• Second episode in a row of Veronica lusting after cute boys. Thanks, show. I'm enjoying the eye candy too.
• I'm glad Sean ends up being the bad guy bc he's annoying me the most in the flashbacks, so I feel justified in my irritation.
• Knowing the future, I guess it does make a little sense why Aaron is so unflapped about the death threats. It's not just the invulnerability of stardom, serial womanizer - it's also vestigial invulnerability from that time he spoilered spoiler. No one can kill him. No one can catch him.
• Harry Hamlin is so great as Aaron Echolls. You can see the charm but also you can see the sleeze.
• Shoutout to an unseen Mrs. Casablancas! Is this our Charisma Carpenter, or her predecessor?
• "So, good news, bad news. The good news is, I know who stole the money. The bad news is, *I* know who stole the money." I love our Veronica.
• "Do you even know how to play poker?" // "No ... dumb blonde look* but it must be really hard if all you guys play." I LOVE OUR VERONICA.
• Heh, Veronica begins her Poirot scene by outing Duncan for faking being drunk. Then she explains Connor's drinking diuretic tea. Then she points out that Logan clearly ransacked the pool house, so he didn't do it. "So, do you want to hear how Sean did it?"
• "Looks like an evil doer, smells like an evil doer."
• I do love a good instrumental Carol of the Bells. Lovely underscoring of the Poirot scene.
• "I was this close to being able to say the butler did it! But no, it was the butler's son."
• And then Veronica does some Ricky Jay style fancy card handling and I love her even more.
• I'm confused how exactly Logan and Duncan made up. When did Logan promise to amend his ways and stop being a racist douche? Did I miss that scene?
• Gasp! Celeste Kane is the one who had Clarence Wiedman stalk Veronica and scare Lianne into leaving town. Once again, I'm liking Jake Kane? He genuinely seems like a less shitty human than Celeste.
• Oops Aaron Echolls got totally stabbed. So, not invulnerable.
• "No, Veronica, there is no Santa Claus."

Daniel's Thoughts:

• It’s Christmas time in Neptune!
• Hey! I missed Logan last ep.
• Ok, it’s Logan, Duncan, Weevil – and two more people that we haven’t met. Interesting poker partners.  Ok, so one of them is a famous movie star.
• Aww, they name checked Selma Blair.  How 2003 of them. (Also I love Selma Blair)
• Weevil won with a pair of twos.  Which is way more realistic than most movies and TV shows that have the hero pulling out a royal flush narrowly beating 4 aces. 
• Strip poker!  They all look good in boxer shorts.  Very strange that two of them have the same boxer shorts…
• “Do they have a hot guy catalog?”
• “I’d be the best rich person.”  - We all think so.
• “You lie down with dogs, you’re gonna get fleas.”  Assholeish that Duncan assumes she means Weevil.  Awesome that she doesn’t.
• Weevil’s gotta put on the tough act, but he knows he needs Veronica’s help.
• It’s almost a flashback bottle episode.  This show likes flashbacks – but this one is kinda fun.  It’s a Christmas episode!
• And now it’s Keith’s turn to have a case.  This episode, he’s greeted by Lynn Echolls.
• OMG, I remember this one – the Aaron Echolls stalker.  Creepy.  Almost like Lisa Rinna’s lips.
• Ugh, Logan’s racism is not getting any better.
• Wow.  The Echolls’ tree.  This giant white monstrosity. White and Red is weird – it feels very 80s.  Very different than the Mars' warm Christmas tree.

• I like that Connor calls Logan out on his racism.
• Poor people tip better than rich people.  Without a doubt.
• Christmastime in Southern California – like 90 degrees.
• Enrico is such a good actor.  One facial expression says so much.  He’s so over the wealthy doing such mundane cliché things.
• It’s important to note that Wallace has two hot dogs.  Because he’s a growing boy.  And because he doesn’t have much else going on.
• “Do you even know how to play poker?”  “No, but it must be *really* hard if all you guys play it.”  Veronica Sarcasm Mars.
• She’s my favorite fictional detective, seriously.
• OK, she figured out that Duncan was fake-drinking – but why?  To look cool?
• So Sean did it:  The motive? Being poor.  ….great?
• Now it’s time for Keith to solve his case.
• Duncan and Logan are both wearing sweatshirts in southern California because….winter.  It’s probably gone down to like 70 degrees.
• Whoa.  Veronica confronting Jake Kane – bold.  I bet she didn’t even know she was going to do that.
• Lynn Echolls brought fake snow to southern California.  That’s how I’d spend my money if I were rich.  Nicely done.

Crossfire!

Harvey: And before me, you sat in your underwear in a fish tank at The Standard

Daniel: ...what?

Favorite Lines:

Zelda: Annoy, tiny blonde one, annoy like the wind. - Logan

Daniel: I'd be the best rich person. Seriously. I'd be the perfect combination of frivolous and sensible. - Veronica

Arc/Continuity:

Neptune Roll Call: Weevil, Duncan, Logan, Wallace

First Appearance: Sean Friedrich, Harvey Greenblatt (Aaron's agent)

Recurring: Felix Toombs, Lynn Echolls, Aaron Echolls, Celeste Kane, Jake Kane

Logan's Nicknames: Tiny Blonde One

Stats:

Dead Humans - 0

Backup Sighting - 1 

Veronica Breaks In - 0

Veronica Tases Someone - 0

Mac Hacks - 0

Who's Your Daddy? - 0

Wallace Does Veronica a Favor - 1

Veronica Wants a Pony - 0

Logan Punches Someone - 0

Dick's Single Entendres - 0

Shenanigans Called - 0

VERONICA WAS RIGHT - 0

VERONICA WAS WRONG - 0