PLEASE NOTE: THIS IS A SPOILER-RICH ZONE

PLEASE NOTE: THIS IS A SPOILER-RICH ZONE. If your diet requires you to dine on television spoiler-free ... good luck with that.

REVIEW ARCHIVES

Wednesday, July 18, 2018

Be Sure to Bring Mouthwash

Episode 2.15: The Quick and the Wed. Original Airdate 3.22.06


"Wallace's new girlfriend Jane enlists Veronica's help when her older sister Heidi appears to be a "runaway bride," but the clues suggest something possibly more disturbing happened on the way to the altar. Meanwhile, Keith and Veronica decide that they have no choice but to go to Sheriff Lamb with the evidence they've uncovered about the bus crash. Later, Kendall has a tempting offer for Aaron Echolls."

Daniel's Thoughts:

  • The episode starts off with Keith asking Veronica to clarify what she saw in the hangar, i.e, the explosives and detonators…and Zelda and I both paused because we were like…did we even write about this in our last blog? We remember seeing it but couldn’t remember which episode it was.  This is what happens when you watch four episodes in a row.  It turns out, it did happen randomly at the end of the last episode, just neither of us talked about it in the blog.
  • And Keith’s doing the right thing by going to Lamb, knowing that he’s gonna catch shit for it.
  • Tinseltown Diaries.  Aaron Echolls is still trying to pretend he’s innocent in Lilly’s death and it's gross.
  • Poor Logan.  He’s watching his family on TV.  I can’t imagine.
  • And hey, it’s Jane.  We get to know a little more about Wallace’s girlfriend.
  • Man, that diamond ring is huge.


  • The bachelorette party has a scavenger hunt: “If you get to #8, be sure to bring mouthwash” – I really want to know what #8 is.
  • So Terrence Cook is looking more guilty. Poor Jackie.  Except we'll see neither of them this entire episode. [Who are you talking about again? - Z]
  • One of the bachelorettes lost her cell phone – Veronica dismisses this but I feel like that’s going to come back.
  • Is that…a picture of a babadook in Jane’s sister’s apartment?
Babadook's cousin?

  • I completely forgot about this Beaver/Cordelia side story and I don’t really care…
  • Logan’s not going to take the deal, and he shouldn’t.
  • Keith still doubts Cook’s guilt.  And his hunch is working out.
  • Aaron doing a bad Hannibal impression…somehow makes Cordelia show her…assets.  Gross.  I just don’t care about any of this.
  • Hannah’s parents are so serious all the time.
  • Really?  Hannah thinks her mother is judgmental because her boyfriend put together bum fights?
  • And Logan feels bad because Hannah really is a good person that he’s totally using.
  • Hahahahaha. I love that the guy Veronica’s looking for turns out to be Vinnie.  And he’s in a bowling league, because of course he is.
  • And he just grabbed a fry off of someone else’s plate.  I wonder if Ken Marino adlibbed that action.
  • Mr. Pope is back! We like him.  I like the continuity of characters on this show, especially the teachers.
  • Why does Heidi have a fax?  Why does anyone have a fax?
  • Heidi: You’re 12. Veronica: I’m 18.  Me: You’re 25.
  • Kim the bachelorette lost her cell phone! I knew it! I knew that would come back.
  • I mean – if you hadn’t heard from your fiancĂ©e in three days, would you really show up to the wedding?  Did he even look for her?
  • Except now he’s being a total dick…and yeah, I don’t buy it.  Ah, I get it.  He set her up to not show up.  I guess.  I don’t know.  It’s all weird.   But why?  What’d she do?  Did he just change his mind?  They don’t seem very well-matched at all.  This all just seems very convoluted.
  • Also, Veronica’s not dressed for a wedding. Which wouldn't stand out as much if there were only 5 guests. Can we get back to the bus crash stuff?
  • Hannah’s dad seems to be coming around…altho…he’s so drab, I just forgot everything I just watched.
  • Oh good.  A Vinnie/Veronica scene.  I’m here for it.  And I like that she knows, despite the fact he’s a sleaze, that he’s still talented at what he does.  Those little character surprise moments is something that sets this show apart from other shows. No one is just one thing.
  • I’m surprised (but not surprised) that there was no Jackie in the episode where her father was shot and also set up for the bus crash murders.

Zelda's Thoughts:

  • Oh right, V found explosives in Terrence Cook's hangar ... a plot point which both Daniel and I forgot to talk about in our last post.
  • Like we just paused the DVD and went combing through our post and the episode transcript, bewildered that we didn't talk about it at all. I guess we just hate Kristin Cavallari that much.
  • Oh right the Tinseltown Diaries episode about Aaron Echolls. The VMars version of E! True Hollywood Story.
  • Ugh Aaron Echolls, you are the fucking worst.
  • "The Manns are like the oldest money in Neptune." "You mean like from the '80s?"
  • wuh oh, Jane's sister is missing
  • So I don't actually remember what the explanation is for why there were explosives in Terrrence Cook's hanger.
  • V's calling out Logan on dating Dr. Griffith's daughter, and she's not wrong but I do think at this point he cares. And then he deflects with "you're cute when you're jealous" and I kinda wanna punch him.
I think Veronica would also like to punch him. [Thirded -D]

  • Does Heidi have a ... an unstrung violin on her wall? Why? What did that violin ever do to her?


  • oh right, I forgot about Beaver's whole shady business with Kendall. 
  • Beaver: "What have I told you about thinking?" // Kendall: "That it makes my breasts smaller?" ugh both of them (she's funny on that line, I just don't like them)
  • Cliff to Logan, "With good behavior, if you could muster some, you'd be out [of prison] in half that." I do love him
  • "I've asked around, and I hope this isn't news to you, but no one likes you."
  • I do like that Logan decided to stick with Cliff for his lawyer, both because I love Cliff and because I think a lot of lawyers would fawn and do all sorts of shady shadiness, but we know Cliff is a good guy who won't take any of Logan's shit.
  • hmmmmm Cook's car mechanic can swear that the explosives weren't there before. 
  • Oh were they planted once TC got arrested? Is that what happened? Is that what spoiler did?
  • Ugh Kendall and Aaron flirting. Everything is gross. Everyone is a slime. "Quid pro quo, Mrs. C." and then he hisses like Hannibal Lecter CAN WE PLEASE END THE SCENE
  • ugh yeah I don't feel bad for Logan, because he's STILL using Hannah, pretending to send an email to Dr. Tom from Hannah's mom, claiming to have found condoms (though I appreciate that he's using the fact that he knows neither parent wants Hannah to see him as his weapon)
  • VINNIE VAN LOWWWWWWWE
A toolbag I love to watch

  • aw shit, TCook got shot breaking into Ms. Dumas's parents' place, WHAT COULD IT MEEEEEEAN
  • Mr. Pope is giving us exposition that I know is tying in to the overarching stuff with both Woody and Beaver but eh
  • Gasp! Nick didn't send the fax that lured Heidi away
  • Wow that dude's family hired Vinnie to steal her friend's phone, send her a fake text, a fake fax, and sabotage the wedding. What a garbage family.
  • The way Heidi handles his self righteousness is kinda badass though.
  • Wow the hotel room still has a bunch of photos of Duncan and V. Why ...?
  • Aaaaaaand Kendall steals Duncan's hair so they can plant some DNA and fuck everything.

Favorite Lines:
Daniel: Vinnie: "You didn't get it from me." Veronica: "Exactly how many times have you had to say that in your life?"
Zelda: "I've asked around, and I hope this isn't news to you, but no one likes you." - Cliff

Arc/Continuity:
Neptune Roll Call: Wallace, Logan, Dick, Beaver (Absent: Duncan, Weevil, Jackie)
Recurring: Sheriff Don Lamb, Aaron Echolls, Hannah Griffith, Veronica's Other Job, Jane Kuhne, Kendall Casablancas, Cliff McCormack, Arturo, Vinnie Van Lowe, Mr. Pope, Dr. Tom Griffith 


Stats:

Dead Humans - 0
Backup Sighting - 0
Veronica Breaks In - 0
Veronica Tases Someone - 0
Mac Hacks - 0
Who's Your Daddy? - 0
Wallace Does Veronica a Favor - 0
Veronica Wants a Pony - 0
Logan Punches Someone - 0
Dick's Single Entendres - 1 ("Probably all those tossed salads, huh?")
Shenanigans Called - 0
VERONICA WAS RIGHT - 0
VERONICA WAS WRONG - 0

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